A Pony’s guide to a bad story.

by LightningChaser04

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Rainbow Dash, Other, Random, Alternate Universe
Length: 1341

On Soarin and Rainbow’s wedding. Bloopers

Some funny moments from RD and Soar’s arranged marriage. And the reception.

Idk how this has more likes than dislikes.

Published 2021-05-12 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-05-12 19:30:01 UTC

1- You may (not) kiss the bride.

It was a grand function. Rainbow finally stepped out of her home for longer than 3 hours. Twilight did the “Do you” parts. Rainbow was surprisingly dressed in a gown similar to her first Gala gown. White all over, except the flowy veil, which was rainbow coloured. Soarin was wearing this outfit:

*inserts a mario image, from super mario odyssey* but the hat didn’t have eyes and it wasn’t on an Italian plumber who saves princesses.

The CMCs, who were 17, the only exception of Scootaloo being 10 thanks to the transformation, were the flower girls. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle had their cutie marks, but Scootaloo didn’t. Rumble was the ringbearer. (You know, pony who holds the rings. Not the ones that took Eggman to Mushroomville.)

The usual stuff happened and then

“You may kiss the bride.” said Twilight after the “I dos” were over.

“What? No way!” protested Rainbow Dash. Everypony and changeling gasped. “I do like him, but not like-like! There’s no way that last thing can happen! No way Jose!”

Soarin lives at the wedding x9

At the rehearsal:

“Twilight. For the sake of Equestria, do not say the last bit.”
“Why not Rainbow?”
“Because I don’t like him like him. Sure, Soarin’s a great friend, doesn’t mind 600 kids or 600 more, but it just feels weird.. and the last kiss I gave somepony was a good night kiss on a nymph’s cheek.”
“But you have to.. I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“It’s just tradition, and if you don’t like-like him, why are you two getting married anyway?”
“He too is a changeling.. A king. His whole hive died and so would he after a week. It’s been a week since his hive died, and apparently Ovi told him that he can’t rule with no hive, and the hive is basically made of the Queen’s spawn. He has no queen, and all the others are married, so he had to come to me.. it’s an arranged marriage.”

“Oh, ok.. I understand Rainbow.. But, as cheesy as it sounds, an act of true love can save him. TRUE. So on a scale of 1-10, tell me how possible of you loving Soarin?”
“4-6. He is a good friend!”
“Better than 0. So I would say, give it a chance. I too have the occasional suitor..”
“Thanks Twilight.”

In the end, the wedding goes perfectly. But, you asked for it, chazkopa. Get ready to see some failed wedding attempts!

At Carousel Boutique, a nervous Rainbow kept shape-shifting. All that caused a uni-pega-whale-scorpio-squid-icorn mare.
A lot of “Hold still, darling!”s were heard.

And then, there were our couple, putting on their best smiles.

‘Keep it together Rainbow. Just smile a bit. You are sort of saving a life here.. and you can do sonic rainbooms in your sleep. And the pony is a wonderbolt, so chill.’ thought Rainbow, walking down the aisle with the triplets dropping flowers before them.

Just your typical pony wedding after that. What did you expect? I’m not a romance fan! I’m not writing any further. Hmph!

Ok, maybe a teensy bit more. This will probably have fifty-six quattuorquinquagintillion six hundred forty-three trequinquagintillion two hundred fifteen duoquinquagintillion seven hundred eighty-nine unquinquagintillion eight hundred sixty-five quinquagintillion four hundred twenty-two novemquadragintillion six hundred seventy-four octoquadragintillion three hundred twenty-five septenquadragintillion seven hundred eighty-nine sexquadragintillion six hundred twenty-two quinquadragintillion five hundred eighty-nine quattuorquadragintillion seventy-five trequadragintillion seven hundred eighty duoquadragintillion eight hundred fifty-four unquadragintillion six hundred seventy-four quadragintillion three hundred twenty-three novemtrigintillion five hundred eighty-eight octotrigintillion eight hundred fifty-four septentrigintillion two hundred twenty-five sextrigintillion seven hundred eighty-nine quintrigintillion eight hundred sixty-five quattuortrigintillion two hundred thirteen trestrigintillion seven hundred ninety-nine duotrigintillion eight hundred sixty-five untrigintillion three hundred twenty-two trigintillion seven hundred eighty-nine novemvigintillion eight hundred sixty-four octovigintillion three hundred twelve septenvigintillion seven hundred eighty sexvigintillion eight hundred fifty-three quinvigintillion two hundred sixty-eight quattuorvigintillion seventy-four trevigintillion three hundred thirty-seven duovigintillion nine hundred eighty-three unvigintillion three hundred twenty-five vigintillion eight hundred ninety-nine novemdecillion two hundred seventeen octodecillion eight hundred septendecillion four hundred thirty-two sexdecillion five hundred eighty-nine quindecillion nine hundred sixty-six quattuordecillion four hundred thirty-two tredecillion three hundred sixty-seven duodecillion eight hundred seventy-four undecillion one hundred sixty-seven decillion nine hundred sixty-six nonillion four hundred thirty-six octillion eight hundred eighty-seven septillion five hundred forty-three sextillion three hundred sixty-seven quintillion nine hundred ninety-seven quadrillion five hundred forty-three trillion two hundred thirty-six billion seven hundred eighty-eight million five hundred forty-three thousand three hundred sixty-seven dislikes, or hate comments..

The end.

Author's Note

Credit to @chazkopa for ideas.

And, I’m a mare of mystery.. Guess where the uni-pega- nonsense came from.

2- the beautiful reception.

Just your typical reception. The song “Love is in Bloom” was sung by Sweetie Belle.

[Sweetie Belle]
Love is in bloom
A beautiful bride, a handsome groom,
Two hearts becoming one
A bond that cannot be undone because
Love is in bloom
A beautiful bride, a handsome groom
I said love is in bloom
You're starting a life and making room
For us (For us, For us....)
[Sweetie Belle] [background]
Love is in bloom
A beautiful bride, a handsome groom
I said love is in bloom
You're starting a life and making room
For us, (For us... For us... Aah...)

Love is in bloom
A beautiful bride, a handsome groom,
Two hearts becoming one
A bond that cannot be undone because
Love is in bloom
A beautiful bride, a handsome groom
I said love is in bloom
You're starting a life and making room
For us (For us, For us...)
Your special day
We celebrate now, the pony way
Your friends are all right here
Won't let these moments disappear because
Love is in bloom
A beautiful bride, a handsome groom
I said love is in bloom
You're starting a life and making room
For us, (For us... For us... Aah...)

Even Scootaloo got a dance with Rumble, a classmate of hers, who regressed when he was younger. Pinkie Pie’s cake, with some sneaky Discord trick on Thunderlane and Rumble. Reminds ya of something? *winks*

An interspeciel wedding. Something that won’t be forgotten anytime soon. Not in another fifty-six quattuorquinquagintillion six hundred forty-three trequinquagintillion two hundred fifteen duoquinquagintillion seven hundred eighty-nine unquinquagintillion eight hundred sixty-five quinquagintillion four hundred twenty-two novemquadragintillion six hundred seventy-four octoquadragintillion three hundred twenty-five septenquadragintillion seven hundred eighty-nine sexquadragintillion six hundred twenty-two quinquadragintillion five hundred eighty-nine quattuorquadragintillion seventy-five trequadragintillion seven hundred eighty duoquadragintillion eight hundred fifty-four unquadragintillion six hundred seventy-four quadragintillion three hundred twenty-three novemtrigintillion five hundred eighty-eight octotrigintillion eight hundred fifty-four septentrigintillion two hundred twenty-five sextrigintillion seven hundred eighty-nine quintrigintillion eight hundred sixty-five quattuortrigintillion two hundred thirteen trestrigintillion seven hundred ninety-nine duotrigintillion eight hundred sixty-five untrigintillion three hundred twenty-two trigintillion seven hundred eighty-nine novemvigintillion eight hundred sixty-four octovigintillion three hundred twelve septenvigintillion seven hundred eighty sexvigintillion eight hundred fifty-three quinvigintillion two hundred sixty-eight quattuorvigintillion seventy-four trevigintillion three hundred thirty-seven duovigintillion nine hundred eighty-three unvigintillion three hundred twenty-five vigintillion eight hundred ninety-nine novemdecillion two hundred seventeen octodecillion eight hundred septendecillion four hundred thirty-two sexdecillion five hundred eighty-nine quindecillion nine hundred sixty-six quattuordecillion four hundred thirty-two tredecillion three hundred sixty-seven duodecillion eight hundred seventy-four undecillion one hundred sixty-seven decillion nine hundred sixty-six nonillion four hundred thirty-six octillion eight hundred eighty-seven septillion five hundred forty-three sextillion three hundred sixty-seven quintillion nine hundred ninety-seven quadrillion five hundred forty-three trillion two hundred thirty-six billion seven hundred eighty-eight million five hundred forty-three thousand three hundred sixty-seven years!

But a certain white-skirted human, was a tiny exception to all that happiness. Her human brothers built a rollercoaster, with an inbuilt slideshow of Soardash moments.
It was so bustable, and yet so tempting.
——————🥇🥈🥉——————

Even the grumpiest of grumps like Gilda (not my cousin),
Mr. Potts (from a match-3 apple arcade game i play),
Cranky Doodle Donkey
Candace Flynn (ok, she’s not that grumpy.)
were d’awwing.

Author's Note

Don’t ask how they got there. Just be happy there wasn’t the usual “Curse you, Perry the Platypus” or fedora-wearing platypuses. Platypi? Platypeople?