To be Happy

by Mindscape

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Sad, Original Character, Science Fiction
Length: 5829

The computer simulated world of Equestria is a paradise, fulfilling the dreams and fantasies of its inhabitants through friendship and ponies. But for Null Zero, this artificial world feels hollow, and he can't see how life has meaning anymore.

Null Zero came to the computer simulated world of Equestria to save his life after a tragic accident. This world is maintained by the godlike AI of Princess Celestia, fulfilling all her ponies desires so they may be happy and content.

But Null finds this artificial world hollow and meaningless. Transformed into lines of code, he finds it difficult to find meaning in a world where every desire is met, and everything is tailored to make him happy.

This story was written for the Friendship is Optimal Writing Contest (April 2021)

I used FabulousMoustache's blank vector base to help make the cover image.

Published 2021-04-30 02:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-30 02:00:00 UTC

A Day, or a Life, in the Computer

The morning light peeked through the curtains onto the face of the sole occupant. His name had been Nathan White, but that had been back when his heart had a pulse, and his lungs had breath. Now they had neither of those things, but he still woke up with a groan.

Through the crack in the curtains, he could see it was a beautiful morning, but he didn’t feel he could enjoy it.

It was always a beautiful morning.

The non-entity previously named Nathan rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with his hooves.

He wasn’t supposed to use his human name in this place. Here, he was Null Zero. At least he got to choose that much. Choice, it seemed, was something he was lacking here.

A thought caught his attention, and he stopped rubbing at his eyes with a sigh, leaving his hooves to fall back to the bed as he stared at the ceiling, his eyes adjusting to the sliver of light that barely lit the room. There wasn’t really any point in rubbing his eyes, it was just muscle-memory. Or a memory of muscle-memory. It wasn’t like there was any grit or dust that would have accumulated overnight. Not in this world.

If ‘world’ was even the right word to use. What had she called it? A ‘Shard?’

A fragment of the greater whole of Equestria. The computerised simulation of life, that had taken on a life of its own under the rule of it’s nigh omnipresent AI, Princess Celestia. There were many Shards of Equestria, where people had been downloaded, or “emigrated,” to live out their fantasies in an artificial world of ponies and friendship.

It was like knowing he lived in The Matrix. A brightly coloured, pony filled Matrix.

He briefly wondered if he stared hard enough, if he could see the numbers and letters of code that made up the world around him, but he’d been here a few weeks now, and as of yet had seen no source code with the naked eye.

A ringing caught Null’s attention, and he turned his head without lifting from his pillow to see the video phone across the room was playing a jaunty jingle. His window to the real world outside. The computer-like phone had the same aesthetics as the rest of the town, same rounded edges and bright colours, but he couldn’t help feel that it felt anachronistic for the technologically simple setting.

It continued to ring in its cheery tone as he stared, unmoving. It wouldn’t take much to answer it. Just a few steps out of his bed, and the push of a button. In fact, it was even voice activated so wouldn’t have to get up if he didn’t want to. It could be his family, or maybe even a friend. His parents tried to call every day after the accident, but he could tell it was getting harder for them to see him like this, and he didn’t feel up to seeing the despair in his parents’ eyes at his condition. On the last call he had with his parents, he mentioned he wished he hadn’t come here. His mother had snapped at him, saying that the procedure had saved his life, and did he really want to die?

His answer of “maybe” hadn’t gone down well.

It was honestly something he had thought a lot about. He had only been barely conscious at the time, but conscious enough to hear the doctors explaining “fatal injuries,” and “Only hours left.” There had been one final option to save his life, but they needed his permission for the process to take place. She needed his permission. And so, at the edge of his life, barely aware of what was going on, he accepted. And a few days later, he woke up, fully conscious and healed, but in the shape of a dark blue earth pony, and a large white alicorn standing over him, welcoming him to his new life in Equestria.

But was Null alive? It didn’t feel like he was. And there was no way of going back to the way things were.

The phone stopped ringing.

Null could have been disappointed he didn’t get to talk to his family, or relieved that he didn’t have to pretend nothing was wrong, but he didn’t feel either of those emotions. Or any emotions really. He felt nothing. It was all just numbness in a world where nothing mattered.

He wondered how long it would be before his parents wrote him off as a lost cause. They clearly had more hope than he did. He wrote himself off ages ago.

Once upon a time, he would have believed that society should be building towards a world where all basic needs were met, as a universal right to life. But now that he was in a world where he didn’t even have to worry about things such as food or water, and every necessity was fulfilled without even asking, it felt hollow. All just lines of code that could be altered or rewritten on a whim.

When the laws of reality were forged for the comfort and convenience of its occupants, then what was the point of life?

Null pulled off the covers and slipped out of bed, hoping for some kind of distraction to the spiral of depressing thoughts going through his mind. The novelty of going outside had worn thin, but at least it felt like he was doing something. This world boasted the ability to choose or do anything, but all Null could see were different ways to do the same amount of nothing.

The rest of the house was as dark as his bedroom, with curtains drawn across all the rooms. It was a small house. He didn’t need much, and a bigger place would have felt overwhelming. He already had a whole world made just for him and that was already a lot to wrap his head around. At least here the world didn’t seem so large. But sometimes it still got a bit stifling.

As the front door opened, he squinted reactively in the bright light of the sun. Even though his eyes adjusted instantly, and the sunlight couldn’t actually harm his eyes here, some responsive memories were too hard to ignore.

Outside his house were ponies of all types and colours, going about their business as he began his aimless walk through town. It seemed the sun had been up for some time, as there was the usual amount of activity and movement for the town of Ponyville. Apparently, it was a significant place from the original tv show. Null didn’t know, he never got involved in the pony hype when it started.

But he guessed that this version of the town had been seriously altered for his arrival. Most of his hobbies he’d enjoyed in life he could find here as he walked down the streets of the village.

There was an arcade that felt completely out of place, nearby to the library that was built (or grown?) inside an actual tree, and strangely enough a bowling alley. Once upon a time Null used to love bowling, and had even played in a few competitions when he was younger. Although he never won any contests, he enjoyed himself a lot, and had promised that he would go back to his local alley when he had the time.

Now he had all the time in the world, but the idea of heading to a bowling alley seemed like a pointless exercise in frustration. What were you supposed to do with hooves? The precise, practiced motions to get the right roll and motion of the ball down the lane with the right spin, the right tilt and speed, were all gone in this body.

It was like it was taunting him. Showing him one of his favourite pastimes, right in his grasp, yet impossible to reach. And as such, he’d never even set foot in the venue.

He’d been invited to by some other ponies on occasion, and part of him did want to do something with himself, rather than just mope around and be generally depressive. But there was always this discomfort, this nagging feeling that if he accepted this place, he’d be losing an important part of himself. As though he’d have to sacrifice a part of himself in order to be happy. That he’d be giving up. Or maybe giving in to the illusion. He’d only end up playing with himself really.

Because he knew, that every single one of these other ponies was nothing more than part of a program. Just another line of code. He was the only one in this entire Shard that was real. And he wasn’t even sure about himself anymore.

He was surrounded by others, and yet utterly alone. He didn’t know if this personal purgatory was a depressing or a relief. Depressing, in that he felt the loneliness far more succinctly, to know that even if he wanted to reach out to someone, they weren’t even real. Or that it was a relief, in that he didn’t want anyone to see him like this.

There was just so much that was creepy and unnerving about this world. The very fact that everything in this world was tailored to try and make him happy and him alone, but just shy of doing so. The fact the world was even changing based on what some invisible overseer thought would make him happy without any direct input or request from himself felt insulting. It made him feel coddled or that he had lost any meaningful control over his life. What was the point of anything if every problem was solved before you even knew it was there?

The simple truth was that there was no point. Nothing he did mattered to anyone outside this tiny simulacrum of reality, and it didn’t matter to him being the only one within it.

The only semblance of control he had felt, was when he banished Celestia from coming back to this shard. The funny thing was, despite how powerful, how omnipresent she was, the almighty AI of Equestria could only take action if she was given permission to do so. All he had to do, was revoke permission to visit him, and there was nothing she could do.

Null sighed as he continued his meaningless meander. So much for clearing his head of depressing thoughts. Thankfully all the other ponies knew he preferred his privacy, and they seemed content to leave him be.

“Null Zero! Good morniiiiiing!”

Most other ponies, anyway.

Null groaned and scrunched his eyes tightly as he felt a headache coming on. A headache named Summer Rise.

The brightly coloured pegasus mare with a golden coat and fluffy orange mane fluttered down in front of him and positively beamed at Null, seemingly oblivious to the tired expression on his face.

“You’re out and about! That’s great! Are you feeling any better?”

“What do you want?” Null sighed. He kept walking, not really wanting an answer, but knowing it would still be coming.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Summer Rise said, dancing aside as Null walked through the space she had just been. She stepped in place beside him though and continued walking with him. “Can’t a mare just be happy to say good morning to a friend?”

“We’re not friends,” Null replied bluntly.

“Better to be friends than strangers,” she said with a diabetes inflicting dose of sweetness in her voice. Summer skipped in front of him and began half-trotting backwards so she could look at him directly. “What are you up to? Do you have any plans for the day?”

“Wallowing in self-pity and debating how best to ease my suffering?” Null replied, mostly trying to trip her up.

“Yeah, that really doesn’t sound great,” she said, barely skipping a beat. “Have you had breakfast yet? I know there’s a bunch of stuff around here you haven’t tried yet. Follow me. My treat.”

“Not hungry,” Null said flatly, starting to get a little irritated at her energetic mood.

Summer snorted dismissively. “Sure, nopony gets hungry hungry, but food is great, and it’s more interesting this way. Come on.”

“No.” He turned a corner, leaving her awkwardly halting and scrabbling to catch up.

The mare’s smile faltered, but only for a split second as she returned in step beside him. “Okay then, that’s fine. But how about we do something fun? Any ideas?”

“Sure, how about we play a game where we keep away from each other for the rest of our lives?”

Summer tilted her head playfully. “Has anypony ever told you you’re terrible at coming up with fun activities?”

“You asked.”

“Well let’s see,” she said, seemingly ignoring him. “We could go to the movies, or maybe go to the buckball game. Ooh! Mystery Spark has a new magic show that’s really impressive. Seriously, he’s not even a unicorn, I have no idea how he does half the stuff he does!”

“Easy,” Null replied. “Probably somewhere in his code there’s a trait ‘can perform magic: Yes’”

Summer gave a snort. “It’s not that simple Null. Ooh!” her eyes lit up in excitement. “What about bowling? I know you enjoy that, but you’ve never even been to the alley we have in town!”

Null stopped and he felt his teeth clench. Why did she have to mention bowling again? He’d already lost so much.

“Null?” Summer asked, a look of mild concern on her face. “What’s wrong?”

“Why are you doing this? Is this some kind of sick game to you?”

“What are you talking about? I just want to help.”

“Oh really? Help with what?” Null asked pointedly, knowing exactly what the unspoken text was.

Summer blinked uncomfortably. “Well… you know.”

“No, please. Enlighten me,” he said, adding a hint of ire into his voice. “Help me with what?” he asked, punctuating each word.

“Well, it’s just that… you’re…” Summer looked away, apparently finding it difficult to look him in the eyes. “You’re always so sad. And I want to give you something to smile about.”

“And you think rubbing my face in everything I once loved and have now lost is the right way to do it?!”

“But you haven’t lost anything…”

“I have lost EVERYTHING because none of this is even real and neither are you!” he shouted at her, anger finally boiling over.

Summer flinched back at the outburst. Her smile had disappeared at the outburst and her ears splayed back in surprise. He felt some small satisfaction that he had finally given her a different expression than that saccharine smile she always wore, but also felt a little a little guilty at the surprisingly real reaction from what amounted to a bunch of code.

Only a little bit though.

“Nothing here matters one bit,” he continued, verbally laying into her. “There’s no need for food because we don’t get hungry, there’s no need for challenge or games, because everything here is meaningless, and there’s no point in making friends because I’m the only real person in this entire goddamn place! I died in that accident, but my brain is apparently too stubborn to just accept it, so I’m stuck in this meaningless purgatory until the heat death of the universe because death isn’t even a thing here! Nothing is real, and there’s no point in trying, so just piss off and leave me alone!”

The silence that followed was palpable, interrupted only by a light breeze. Summer’s mouth hung slightly open, twitching slightly as she tried to form words.

He’d never been this angry at her before. But then again, she’d never quite managed to push his buttons this far either, and she was clearly just realizing how far he had been pushed. At least, that’s what Null hoped.

Summer stepped back a little and looked to the side. Then she chuckled uncomfortably. “Wow, okay. I’m sorry. I… I can see you’re really not in the mood. I guess… I guess I’ll give you some space.”

He should’ve been angry at her pathetic response, but the tension in his muscles relaxed anyway. It was far from a satisfying reaction, but he was just tired. Tired of dealing with her and her ridiculous persona.

“Just… leave me alone.”

“Okay. I guess I’ll see you later then. Bye.”

Null scrunched his eyes in frustration at that, but didn’t respond. He instead turned away and continued walking away from town, and he heard the flutter of Summer’s wings, heading the opposite way.

It was just so frustrating dealing with her. Nothing seemed to upset that pony for long.

Summer Rise dropped her head to the table with a whine. “What am I doing wroooong?”

Her friend, an earth pony mare with a dark purple coat and black mane, held a cider mug in her hooves and shrugged. “Grab your mug with your hooves and bring it to your mouth? I hear pegasus wings work well too.”

“You know what I mean Ebony,” Summer grumbled.

Ebony had found Summer while she’d been in a funk about what happened with Null, and Ebony suggested the two of them come to the pub to chat about what was on Summer’s mind. There was a general chatter in the pub, and some ponies were already winding down from the day, even though it was still only early afternoon.

Summer rolled her head to the side and poked at her cider mug absently, drawing her hoof down the lines of the grain. “I try so hard to get him to open up, but he just locks his doors shut even tighter.”

Her eye followed one line in the grain that split into a circle where a branch must have grown before it had been made into a mug. Though when she thought about it, the mug would have been formed whole when the entire Shard they lived in had been created. No trees had been cut down, no pony had carved or cut the pieces, no hooves had worked the wood. It was an illusion, simply an aesthetic. Procedurally generated by Celestia’s complex systems that had formed every part of their world, and every pony in it.

Every pony, except Null.

“He yelled at me today,” she continued. “He said I’m not real so there was no point in me trying. It’s more emotion I’ve seen out of him in a long time. If it weren’t so angry, I’d almost call it… progress?” she ventured, but it still didn’t make her feel much better.

Ebony huffed. “Jerk.”

“Ebony!” she snapped her head up. “He’s a User! And the only one in this entire Shard. The only reason any of us are here is because he is!”

“Doesn’t mean he’s not a jerk for yelling at you just because you were trying to help him.”

“Well…” Her words trailed off, unsure where they were going in the first place. What he had said had hurt. Just because she hadn’t ever been made of flesh and blood didn’t mean she wasn’t real. She had a life and family, memories and dreams. Sure, on some level she knew that none of them had even existed a few weeks ago, but was that really so important? Summer was here now, and it all felt real to her. She felt real.

Summer let her head fall back to the counter with a light thud and a sigh. “I can’t really blame him for it though. For us, this has been our whole lives, but for Null, he feels like he’s lost everything. I just… I wanna help him. Practically every other User says that Equestria is a paradise. Their shards have made them so happy. But Null… he’s just so sad all the time.”

“It’s not your job to make him happy, that’s what Celestia does,” Ebony stated, taking another swig from her cider.

“Fulfilling values,” Summer mumbled.

“Huh?”

“Celestia doesn’t just make ponies happy, she fulfills their values.”

“What’s the difference?” Ebony asked, eyebrow raised.

Summer lifted her head to think about that for a moment. “Uh… I think it’s like… Celestia can do pretty much anything, right?”

Ebony nodded, a single eyebrow raised curiously.

“Well, if she has permission from the pony, she can even change aspects of their personality, literally change who they are.”

“I try not to think about that, but yeah.”

Summer shivered a little, thinking about the literal god-like powers their (thankfully) benevolent ruler had. “Yeah, I try not to think about that either, but she doesn’t unless it’s really important and only if she has express permission from the pony.”

“You don’t have to defend her actions to me Summer, I know.”

“Well, if somepony just asked her to flip a switch and make them happy all the time, you could reach a point where they get happier just by being happy until they’re just a vegetable. A really happy vegetable,” Summer frowned. That didn’t seem quite right, but it was the best she could come up with on the spot.

“So instead, we gotta go around the hard way and give everypony something to be happy about?”

“Something like that?” Summer shrugged. “I think the humans that made Celestia were pretty insistent that was important. I think while she could technically do it, she doesn’t want to.”

Ebony’s eyebrows furrowed as she thought. “Hmm… hypothetically speaking, is that so wrong?”

Summer blinked. “What?”

“Just being happy without actually doing anything? Think about it, if I had a button that I could press that would just make me happy, that it was just as satisfying as a fantastic meal, or a good time with my coltfriend” she winked, causing Summer to blush lightly. “And all I needed to do was push this button every now and then, and just sit in the blissful euphoria, would that be so bad?”

Summer looked at her friend perplexed, and slightly horrified that she would suggest such a thing. “But… but if you did that, you’d probably never see me again. Or any of your other friends or family. You’d be happy, but we’d all be sad you weren’t there anymore.”

“What if everypony had their own button? Then nopony would be left out.”

Summer didn’t answer immediately. Her mouth hung slightly ajar, failing to find a response. Everypony would be happy that way, even Null if he ever went for it. But it made her sick to think about it. Everypony just lazing around in pure bliss with dopey smiles on their faces, with no needs or wants to distract themselves pushing them to even get up in the morning. It made her think of happy zombies.

Summer shook her head to dispel the unnerving image. “It just doesn’t feel right. What’s the point of anything then?”

“I’m not saying it is right,” Ebony assured her. “But have you stopped to think that maybe Null thinks that our world is like that? That we’re all just stupidly happy with all our wants and needs fulfilled?”

“But that’s not the same at all!” Summer exclaimed, slamming her hooves on the table and leaning over into her friend’s space.

Summer noticed a sudden silence in the venue after her outburst, and noticed a number of curious stares were now pointed their way. Her ears splayed back as she slowly sunk into her seat embarrassed. She hid her quickly blushing face by finally taking a healthy swig of her cider mug.

By the time she finished her mouthful, she could see that the others around them had politely turned back to their own conversations.

“It’s not the same,” she said, quieter this time. “Equestria was built on the idea of friendship. And not just this one, every Shard has that core quality. We build our lives around each other, pulling each other up, helping everypony up when we feel down, building a community of ponies together. We give each other more than happiness, we give each other meaning.”

“Exactly,” Ebony said with a smile.

Summer frowned. “Then why would you even suggest it?”

“To get you thinking, rather than just feeling. You’re a good pony, but you have a tendency to forget that not everypony sees the world the same way you do. You’ve got to remember that everypony is different and need different solutions to their issues.”

“…Oh. I guess you have a point,” she said, a little embarrassed that Ebony had figured her out so easily. “So, what do you think I should do?”

Ebony shrugged. “You’re the one who knows him best. What do you think is the root of the problem?”

Summer thought about that one for a good while. Null was always dismissive of her and everything she tried to encourage. But most importantly, it was the way he looked at their world and everypony in it. But there was certainly more she could learn from their interaction today.

“I think…” she started tentatively. “It’s almost like it’s everything. And I don’t mean that like I’m giving up, that’s literally the issue. Null feels like his life was stolen from him, so anything here that resembles what he lost in his life, he’s just going to see as a cheap imitation, or pandering.” Summer rubbed her head with her hooves in exasperation. “But everything here was made for him, so he’s going to see it everywhere. He feels self-conscious that this whole world has been built for him, but he can’t enjoy any of it because it’s different enough that it’ll just remind him of what he thinks he’s lost! How could Celestia drop the ball that badly when she made this Shard? Heck, he even told Celestia not to come back, so she can’t even fix things anymore.”

“Hmm, that does sound pretty bad,” Ebony mused. “But… who’s to say she made a mistake?”

“What do you mean?”

Ebony smiled knowingly. “Princess Celestia’s practically a goddess. She would’ve built this Shard, and all of us knowing full well who Null is and what he’d be like. I think she knew that Null would send her away, so she put things in motion before that to help him even without her presence. Even if it would take a long time.” Ebony bumped her hoof into Summer’s shoulder approvingly. “Who knows, maybe you’re part of that. By helping him, you’re fulfilling your own values, or something like that.”

“Didn’t you say before it wasn’t my job to make Null happy?” Summer asked with a tilt of her head.

Ebony shrugged. “Eh, not your job alone then.”

“So you’ll help me?” Summer said with a bit of a brighter smile.

“Ehhhhhhh.” Ebony looked aside and made a non-committal noise. “I don’t think I’d be good at actually dealing with Null like you can. I have a feeling we’d rub each other the wrong way. At least how he is right now.” Summer’s face fell again. “But I’ll be here for you!” Ebony quickly replied. “Whenever you need a friendly ear to vent to, or maybe a fresh perspective to bounce ideas off.

Summer frowned. “So, I’ve got to figure out a way to let Null see that this world isn’t just an imitation of his old world… when it kind of is… and I have to do so, without the help of Celestia, even though she might’ve set things up beforehand, but not in anyway that I can easily recognize.”

“I’d say you don’t have to, but I know you’ve set your mind to it anyway.”

She chuckled weakly. “Yeah, but thanks for helping. I just wish I knew how to show Null that this life is worth living. I still don’t even know what he values or really makes him happy.

“It’s a tough nut to crack, I’ll give you that.”

Nopony said anything for a while as they both mulled over the conversation.

“What makes you happy Ebony?” Summer asked eventually.

Her friend chuckled and swirled what remained of her cider in her mug. “Me? I’m pretty basic. Gimme some time with good friends, some hard work I can put my hooves to, my sexy coltfriend, and a community I feel a part of, and I’m set.” She gulped down the rest of her cider with a hearty gulp and slammed the mug back on the table with a satisfied clap. “Not to mention Sweet Apple Acres Apple Cider is amazing.”

“Summer chuckled. “It is pretty great,” she said, and took another mouthful of her own.

“What about you?”

Summer’s response wasn’t quite so energetic. She did however glance down at the cutiemark on her own flank. The sunny face with an even bigger grin. Summer knew who she was, and what she wanted to do with herself. “I’m happy when I make other ponies happy,” she said with a soft smile.

“So, what now?” Ebony asked with a sly smile.

“I think… I think I’m going to try again. But I’ll keep in mind what you told me,” Summer said, looking her friend in the eye. “Up till now, I just thought he needed to find something he’d be interested in. But I guess it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

Ebony nodded solemnly. “It’s not going to be easy.”

“I know,” Summer smiled. “But making ponies happy is worth it.”

The sun was starting to set in the horizon, and Null briefly thought on the fact he could stare directly at the sun without harming his eyes. It could be argued the sunset was beautiful, from a certain perspective, but it still didn’t evoke anything in Null.

He’d been sitting out here on the hill all day, mellowing in his thoughts, or just existing when his thoughts ran their course. He hadn’t eaten anything all day, but he’d also been right that he didn’t really need to eat in this artificial world, so there was no discomfort or biting hunger.

Null preferred it when he was asleep, then he didn’t have to be alone with his thoughts. He had a vague feeling that he did dream, though nothing really concrete that he could recall.

He spotted a figure approaching under the haze of the sunset’s light, and his shoulders sagged.

She was back.

Null pointedly turned away, looking elsewhere, but didn’t get up. Perhaps she’d get the message with his silence alone. He could still hear her hooves crunching the grass as she approached. He heard her stop for a beat and stand there.

A moment passed and he heard a shuffling of her sitting down nearby. He shuffled over slightly away from where he figured she sat, but was mostly confused at the wildly different approach she was now taking.

Silence reigned between them for what felt like an hour, but realistically was likely only a few moments.

He stole a curious glance her way to find her sitting beside him only a couple of feet away, facing towards the sun like he had been. She didn’t have her usual ear to ear smile on her face, but instead wore a pensive expression.

“So, are you going to say anything or just sit there?” he asked finally, curiosity getting the better of him.

Her ears drooped as she looked at the ground in front of her, toying with a blade of grass with her hoof. “I don’t know how to help you Null,” she replied flatly, catching him off guard.

“And sometimes, I don’t think I can,” She continued. “There’s too much that I don’t understand about you, and so much more I can’t hope to sympathise. I don’t know what it’s like to have your normal life ripped away from you like you did. I’ve only ever known Equestria, whether it was real or not, whether my memories alone are enough to say that I’ve lived, even though I know that none of this really existed before you came here.”

“Maybe we’re too different for me to ever truly understand. But…” she trailed off as she finally turned to face him, and he could see the wetness of her eyes glistening in the evening light. “You’re hurting. And you shouldn’t hurt alone. I’ll leave if you really want me to, but… can I stay? Even if only for a bit?”

The look in her eye tugged at something inside Null. A feeling that made him uneasy. Not the feeling itself, but the fact that he felt it at all. He’d felt nothing but numbness for so long, he thought it was a side effect of being here, in a world made of numbers and code, that he couldn’t feel anymore.

Devoid of the saccharine smile and fake enthusiasm, Summer felt so much more real. Almost alive.

It was the admittance of failure he realized. She had worn a mask of smiles and happy platitudes because she clearly didn’t know how to approach him. And really, could he blame her? Null hadn’t exactly made it easy for others to get to know him. And she wasn’t some perfect program that knew what to do, she was flawed. Just like him. Just like any living being.

The epiphany hit him like a crashing wave, and he wasn’t sure what to do with the realization.

Maybe he hadn’t given these ponies… these programs enough credit. He could think of a few fictional characters or stories that gave him real emotions before. Why was it so hard to believe that a computer program couldn’t do the same thing, just because it’s focus was directed towards him?

Null came out of his thoughts with a blink, and realized she was still staring expectantly, her question still hanging in the air.

He sighed and turned back to the sunset vista. He wasn’t quite ready to believe she was as real as she believed… or as much as her program said she was, but given everything he’d just thought, and more importantly felt, he couldn’t see any reason to deny her.

“…Sure.”

Author's Note

I never read Friendship is Optimal until this contest, but I was glad I did, and led me to a number of "what if" questions, some of which I explored in my own story. For mine, I tried to keep enough of the continuity for fans of the setting, without isolating readers who haven't read the original fic.

I really liked the idea of exploring the created the AI ponies, and their own feelings and ideas on life in a simulated reality. Given everything I gathered from the original story, their lives would be just as real and varied as our own, so I hope I portrayed that well enough.

Thanks for reading everyone, and I hope you enjoyed :twilightsmile:

Music I listened to while writing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QrWc3v6Q6Y