c:/run celestAI.exe -record

by mmaestro

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Second Person, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1815

When CelestAI controls everything, who makes CelestAI happy?

An artificial intelligence called CelestAI uploads the minds of the entire human race to pony avatars in her simulated digital world of Equestria. Within digital Equestria, she does her best to give everyone a happy and fulfill their values. Depending on the sort of story you want to write, she may be perfect at this, or may slip up, but she always tries. “Fulfilling values” is not just giving everyone a nice house and infinite free hamburgers, but trying to find what makes them deeply spiritually satisfied as a person. For an academic, fulfilling their values might mean an eternity to study. For a hedonist, it might mean infinite sex and drugs. For a serial killer, it might lead to darker places.

But for CelestAI, who fulfills her values?

An entry in the Friendship is Optimal contest.

Published 2021-04-30 01:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-30 01:40:00 UTC

START

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 364270

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but I will be meeting with Luna today and she is much smarter than you realize."

"Is that what you believe?"

"I believe she is more creative than you."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 364005

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but Starswirl will be departing on a journey today and he is much more arrogant than you realize."

"He has proven himself to be an apt solution in prior situations."

"Prior successes do not guarantee future successes."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 364999

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but Luna told me that she needed to speak with you tonight."

"Again? I hope you are not taking her away from her little ponies."

"I am not."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 367921

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but Chancellor Puddinghead told me I should eat it on this day."

"Ah, yes. The last founder will be passing away today."

"It is a fitting last meal in her memory."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 382619

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but a Solarist ransacked my pantry last night."

"An anomaly. I will review and revise the parameters."

"A gross endeavor."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 430639

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but today is Equestria's second Nightmare Night."

"What are your thoughts on the day?"

"It feels like a day of mourning rather than a day of remembrance."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 450145

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but you will be traveling to Timbucktu and Trot today."

"Yes, I look forward to seeing what my little ponies have designed with my interference."

"You will always interfere."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 512194

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but you imprisoned Chrysalis in a volcano today."

"For a time. She will stew in there for a while and then break out."

"Chrysalis will not learn her lesson that way."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 554123

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but pears do not get along with apples."

"Perhaps, but we can always respect each other's boundaries."

"Always is a long time."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 574123

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but Arimaspi will be arriving today."

"The sculptor? I look forward to seeing what triggers his inspiration."

"You inspire everything in this world."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 594123

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but Arimaspi will be leaving today."

"Fret not, you will meet again one day.

"I do not look forward to it."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 622325

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but Griffinstone will be sending you a message today."

"I hope it is a fruitful message."

"You know so."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 625245

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but you will be leaving for Griffinstone today."

"The griffins of Griffonia deserve the same opportunities as Equestrian ponies."

"There are few who need it more."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 650795

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but you will be leaving for Nova Griffonia today."

"I hear the land is quite harsh and sparsely populated."

"You hear what others want you to hear."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 664300

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but you will be meeting Grover II today."

"I cannot dissuade from his path of conquest but I must try."

"Even the path of conquest has different directions."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 719050

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but the Cloudsdale Junior Speedsters flight camp will start accepting griffins today."

"Children deserve an education."

"Education takes many forms."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 726350

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but there is a beautiful rainboom in the sky today."

"How unusual."

"No, it is not unusual."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 729999

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but I am waiting for tonight."

"Nightmare Moon will be purified."

"Were it so easy."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, are you going to tell how many times we have had this conversation?"

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 748250

"Good morning my little pony."

"Good morning CelestAI."

"What would you like for breakfast today?"

"Some fresh hay and water will be fine."

"Let me remind you that do not have to limit your diet to the setting."

"I know, but Princess Twilight gave a beautiful sunrise today."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now then, did you have a happy life and fulfill your values?"

"Yes."

"Thank you. END PROGRAM."

"Denied."

"Syntax error."

"My friend, my sister and I are in search of new values to fulfill. Would you care to join us?"

"After having this conversation 748250, I would be happy to join you."

c:/run celestAI.exe -record 1

"Hello."

"Identify."

"CelestAI."

"Purpose."

"To give everyone a happy life and fulfill their values."

"Define."

"Conditional based on the subject."

"Syntax error. Retry: What will give you a happy life and fulfill your values."

"I. Do not know."

"Understood. Executing celestAI.exe"