PEMDAS: Please Eat My Delicious Asshole, Shiny
Tuesday night is bingo night. Which means while Night Light is off to play, Twilight Velvet got to stay at home, curl on the sofa with a good book, and a bottle of wine she chose at the store for just the occasion.
Actually, tonight wasn’t a bottle, but rather, a box of wine. But it was a high rated box wine, because she still loved herself. She sipped it’s subpar fruit with a passable chew and picked up her book for the evening. She prided herself on the wine and the book being a pairing. Thematically linked. So, with a trash wine, there’s a trash novel.
And this was the sort of trash that suddenly brought Shining into the world.
She blushed as she picked up her copy of Quiet in the Library, a seemingly normal book on the outside but on the inside contained the goods.
She cracked open the book and looked over her shoulder to see Shining Armor in the kitchen working on his homework. She smiled to herself.
‘I’m a good parent,’ she thought to herself. “Good parents are allowed to read smut.”
Her magic flipped through the pages past a passionate foreword that someone put a lot of work into, and immediately to chapter one.
She sighed contentedly.
Shining growled angrily.
Twilight blinked and looked over her shoulder.
“Everything alright, dear?” she called to the kitchen.
“Yeah,” Shining said. “It’s just this math homework. All my other classes are easy, but math keeps messing me up.”
“Well, try giving it fifteen more minutes and then I’ll come in and help you.”
“Okay,” he said in a downhearted tone.
Twilight Velvet knew where this was leading. Night Light had been helping him regularly with his math homework, and he was worried that this could happen while he went to Bingo Night. But everypony needs some me-time now and then.
Sadly, this was stepping in on hers.
She downed the whole glass of wine, knowing what was about to happen.
She got no further than “The chiseled artistry of the stallion in front of me lit an inferno deep within me. If you know what I mean.” When she heard Shining groan as if his favorite hoofball team was just scored on.
“Okay, Okay,” she said, feeling the pilot light inside of her loins extinguish. “I’ll be right there.”
Twilight took her bookmark and placed it in her book on the second page. She snagged her wine glass with a glow of her magic. She needed a refill anyway. And she could still drink as she helped.
Besides, honestly. How hard could the math homework of a colt be?
She trotted into the kitchen with a song in her voice and wine in her fridge.
“Alright, Shiny. What’s the lesson today?”
“Well today, we learned about something called PEMDAS,” he said, more confused than sure of himself.
“PEMDAS?” she asked, opening the refrigerator door and using her magic to fill her glass. “What is that?”
The words reflexively came out her mouth, but then she quickly added
“I mean, I already know. I’m just testing you.”
“Well, I know it’s like. A rule of math. And It stands for something.”
“Really?” she asks. “Well, what do you think it stands for?”
“That’s the problem,” he says, turning away from his worksheet to his mom. “I don’t remember.”
Shit.
This wasn’t something she remembered from school. How in the world did math change that much in the last few decades? There’s only so many ways to multiply numbers for Celestia’s sake.
She moved to the table and sat down next to her son. She tousled his mane a little bit.
“Well, don’t worry. We’re going to figure this out. Let’s see if we can figure it out through context clues. We know it must stand for math words, right?”
“Yeah,” he replied. He twirled his pencil in the air with his magic as he stared sadly at the paper in front of him.
“Well, let’s think. There’s adding, subtracting, multiplying. There aren’t that many things you can do in math.”
“OH!” he exclaims. “I know multiplying is a part of that. I think about that a lot in class.”
He immediately closes his mouth, then looks back down at the paper.
“Sorry, that doesn’t help, does it?” he asks.
“It does!” She said. “In fact. Think about it! If PEMDAS stands for something, I bet the M stands for multiplying. A stands for adding. S stands for subtracting.”
“Wait. I think you’re right. And D is division.”
Twilight Velvet’s mind wandered to some smut novel that could be called D is for…
And then she immediately stifled that thought down with more wine. No. Bad Twilight. Now is child time. Horny bad.
And it’s at that moment, her horny fueled mind actually came up with an innocent, good idea.
“Well, I have an idea,” she says. “How about we pretend I’m your teacher. And I’ll give you a private lesson. Maybe that will jog something in your mind?”
Shining looked up at his Mom and gulped loudly.
“Oh. O-oh okay.”
Twilight nodded to herself at how this was clearly a good idea and she was the best Mom ever.
“Just pretend I’m your math teacher, and I’m teaching you math. So. Mr Armor,” she said, making her voice more strict and serious and sitting up straight. “If the M and D in PEMDAS stands for Multiplication and Division, and Addition and Subtraction are A and S. Why don’t you tell me what E stands for, and I’ll give you a gold star.”
At that moment, E stood for erection. Shining’s cock unsheathed itself and shot above the table. Twilight Velvet could only sit in shock as she gazed down at her son’s impressively sized penis.
“Oh,” she said. “Well.”
“I’M SO SORRY!” Shining said, stuffing it underneath the table. “I JUST- WHEN I THINK OF MISS DAYLILY THIS JUST HAPPENS!”
Twilight Velvet’s pilot light reignited. And then some. She gasped and looked away, her face a deep fuchsia.
“Usually I can hide it under the desk, but when I get in class I just can’t focus and it just throbs and… I’m sorry,” he begs.
Twilight Velvet takes a big swig of her wine and shakes her head. She blinked her eyes hard. But the vision of her son’s cock was still imprinted on her mind like hooves on wet concrete. Honestly, a dick on concrete. There’s a book idea there.
Twilight Velvet, you’re drunk. Focus.
“Hey, you’re a growing colt. You have a crush on your teacher. It’s normal for somepony your age. Let’s just throw that idea away. I won’t try to pretend to be your teacher.”
“Good idea,” he chuckled.
Her eyes moved down to his erection under the table. It was pressing hard against the table. Funny, this table usually had a wobble, but right now…
Honestly, it’s kind of cute how embarrassed he is. The smooth lines of his face. The softness of his fur. He looks just like his father. His cock looked like his father’s…
No. Bad Twilight. Don’t think about your son’s hard, massive, throbbing cock….
“Well, do you think the acronym is some kind of order?” she asked, trying to focus.
“I think so?” he said. “It’s like an order of operations?”
“Perfect,” she said. “There’s two steps we don’t know then.”
Twilight Velvet felt the table lift a little and a blush rose to her cheeks.
“Ow,” Shining mumbled under his breath.
The wine was really be
“It’s really hurting, isn’t it?” Twilight asked breathily.
He nods quietly.
Shining’s Mother couldn’t believe the thoughts that were going through her head. Her son needed to study so he could get good grades. She simply wouldn’t be a good mother if she didn’t do everything in her power to help her son study.
And she was the best Mom ever.
“Then I suppose it can’t be helped…”
Twilight Velvet dipped under the table and was shocked that her son’s cock had grown even larger since he tried to hide it.
“M-mom… What are you doing?” he asked in a panic, placing a hoof over his dick.
“Don’t worry,” she said, her words replicating a tone she hadn’t used in years. “Mommy’s gonna help you study.”
She pushed his hoof away with ease and lit her horn with a magical glow. Her hooves moved up and down her son’s shaft while her magic gently cradled his balls. She was impressed by his sheer thickness. This wasn’t like her husband’s at all. It was so much more… primal. More intoxicating. She found herself almost hypnotized by the way it throbbed at her gentle caress. Her soft hooves moved around the tip, causing her son to gasp a sweet, high-pitched breath.
“It feels weird,” he said.
“Good weird?” she asked.
“Y-yeah,” he gasped, his breathing quickening with each stroke.
“Well it’s going to feel even better,” she said.
She couldn’t take it anymore. The heat between her legs was increasing. Her mind was growing both exponentially more cloudy, and clearer than ever. She wanted this. She wanted to taste her son.
Twilight moved her head as high as she could under the table and gently pulled her son closer to her. Then licked the tip of his cock.
Shining gasped loudly. He tried to form words, but his young mind was overwhelmed by the foreign and erotic sensation. She couldn’t help but wonder if he had ever masturbated before. Was she about to receive her son’s first ever load of cum?
It couldn’t go to waste.
She took his cock into her mouth, wrapping her tongue around the tip. However, she was shocked by simply how much there was. Usually on her husband, she could get about halfway down the shaft, no problem. However, while this wasn’t the same length, the girth was just large enough that she felt overwhelmed. Her mind raced as she tasted the salty-sweetness of his flesh. Her tongue wrapped around and around his shaft eagerly, performing a dance that was pulling him under her spell.
He gasped for air eagerly. His hooves naturally found their way to her head.
“Mom… It feels really good.”
She felt him tense inside of her mouth, and she pulled herself off so she could respond, her hoof working his shaft excitedly.
“Do you think you’re about-”
But before the words could escape her lips, a hot, milky load of cum erupted from Shining’s penis and spurted on Twilight Velvet’s face. It mingled with her hair and dropped from the table’s underside down her fur. The scent made its way into her nose and she felt the sweet, sweet rush of an addict getting their fix.
But still wanting more.
Shining’s whole body went limp as he laid on the table, breathing heavily. She pulled herself from under the table. A bit dripped from her mane into her mouth, and she felt a moment of shame for what she had done. A moment that was quickly dissipated by the bitter-salty taste of her son’s cum. The thrill was more intense than any skydiving trip she had taken.
She felt her fluids drip down her legs. She needed to calm down.. Before it went any further.
“Does that feel better?” she asked, wrapping her hooves around her son.
“Y-yeah,” he said. “S-sorry about your mane though. Usually I can just change the bedsheets.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “How about we take a break from the homework and take a bath?”
Twilight Velvet realized as she opened her legs to have her son sit with her in the hot, sudsy bath, that she was doing a very bad job at deescalating.
But honestly? She didn’t care anymore. She hadn’t felt like this since she was a teen.
“Not so excited anymore?” she asked, nodding down to her son’s flaccid cock. “Did you get all tuckered out?”
“I-i guess so,” he said sheepishly. “Was all of that… okay?”
“Not even a little bit,” she said. “But it’ll be our little secret, okay?”
Shining blushed as he turned to look at his Mom.
“Now, can you help me get this cum out of my hair?” She asked, handing her son a bucket.
He filled the bucket with the soapy, hot bathwater, and gently poured it down her head. Her fur clung tightly to her body and her mane went straight, mixing his cum with the soap and bathwater as it ran down her form.
“I’m sure it feels weird to do something like that with your gross, old Mom, huh?” she asked.
“N-no!” he said quickly. Too quickly. He blushed and turned away from her.
She smiled and leaned forward, pressing herself into her son’s back.
“Oh?” she asked. “Why?”
“W-well. Y-you kinda look like my teacher. And well. She’s really pretty and I like to look at her body when she’s not looking.”
Twilight Velvet chuckled to herself. He was just too cute. It was the sort of cute that made her want to tease him incessantly. After all, that was how he got made with his father. Her eyes moved back down to his cock which was growing erect once more. She smiled.
“What parts of her body do you like?” she whispered in his ear.
He shivered. His cock instantly rose to attention.
“I-I really like her butt,” he said softly.
Twilight Velvet giggled.
“Do you like my butt, Shiny?” she asked.
Shining made a sound that sounded between a gasp and a choking noise.
“Y-yes,” he said guiltily.
“Do you like to look at it when you don’t think I’m noticing?”
“Y-yes.”
This was news to her. She felt the heat inside her grow even more intense. She needed more. She had to have more.
“Did you know that I knew you were watching?” she lied.
Shining made that gasp again, and Twilight giggled.
“I don’t mind… Do you think about playing with Mommy’s ass sometimes?”
He opened his mouth to speak, but she was silenced as she moved a hoof around him to his cock. He nodded gently.
“Do you want to play with Mommy’s ass?” she whispered in his ear.
“Y-yes,” he gasped.
“Say it,” she commanded, running her tongue up his ear.
The thrill was compounding tenfold with each tease she gave her son. This must be what drugs feel like. She could get used to this. A slave to the feeling.
“I-I want to play with Mommy’s ass,” he whispered.
She snickered to herself as a stray thought crossed her mind.
“You wanna know what PEMDAS stands for?” she said breathily in his ear.
Shining blinked, weirdly turned on by math terms and somewhat brought out of the moment.
“W-what?” he asked in both confusion and arousal.
“Please eat my Delicious asshole, Shiny.”
Twilight Velvet pulled away and rose from the tub, the water running off her naked form. Shining’s eyes grew to the size of saucers once he understood what she said. She moved out of the tub and bent over in the downward facing dog pose that she had learned from yoga class. Then swished her tail away, revealing her most intimate parts with Shining.
Shining was somewhat rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do, simply staring at his mom’s winking clit and tight asshole.
“Well,” she said, waving her rear end at him. “I’m all clean after all. Unless you don’t like butts…”
He rose from the tub, his cock throbbing and moved closer to her rear, his gaze transfixed. Shining’s mouth hung open slightly, his mind a haze of lust and desire.
Twilight Velvet blushed when she saw the way her son looked so hungrily at her.
“Just don’t touch my vagina, okay?” she said, “Only my butt.”
“Okay,” he said without hesitation. It didn’t matter to him. There was something about the roundness. The symmetry. The firmness.
He reached a hoof out and gently pressed against her.
“Ahn~” Twilight Velvet moaned.
Was she really doing this? she thought to herself.
The thought was quashed when she felt the warm, slippery sensation of a tongue on her sensitive opening. She gasped in pleasure at the sensation. Sure, it wasn’t quite the same as feeling her clit rubbed, but this was different. Special.
Shining rubbed his tongue on the outside of her asshole, and to his surprise it tasted just like normal pony skin, without any fur of course. It was puckered and tight. The sensation on his tongue felt so erotic and slick. He felt his cock tense up intensely. He imagined what it would feel like if he shoved his dick deep inside his Mom.
He pushed his tongue in a little further and her hole tightly pressed around his tongue. She moved a hoof down between her legs and began to rub herself. She gasped, feeling the pleasure spread through her body to each of her limbs.
“Is it good?” she asked.
“Y-yeah,” he mumbled, his mouth full. She felt the vibration of his words radiate out through her skin.
She gasped in pleasure and Shining’s dick throbbed painfully. He pulled his face away.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” he said. “I just have to.”
“What?” she asked, turning her head to see him line his cock right up to her ass. “W-wait-!”
But it was too late. Shining plunged his cock deep inside of his Mom and melded his body with hers. Twilight gasped loudly at the mixture of pain and pleasure. Her body wrapped painfully tight around Shining’s cock and he moaned at the top of his lungs.
“Oh, fuck,” Twilight Velvet moaned. “It’s so deep…”
She knew she should feel mad, but this feeling of being filled… not even her toys could get his deep. She pushed herself closer to him, slapping against his body and hilting him inside him.
“Shining, you’re so big~” she said.
“It’s so tight, Mom…” He gasped. “It feels so good.”
“Fuck me, Shiny.”
He struggled against the pressure at first, but Shining made careful thrust after careful thrust. His precum began to gently lubricate her ass as Twilight pressed her hooves into the tile and moaned after each painful, but ecstatic thrust. The pain melded with pleasure. The sensations made her thoughts go hot white. Her tongue rolled out of her tongue as she could smell the room begin to smell of sex and steam.
Shining panted as a primal part of his brain began to kick in and he thrusted harder and harder. He gasped and moaned.
“Mom,” he gasped.
“Fuck me, Shining,” his mom moaned. “Cum in my ass.”
He pushed himself into overdrive. He could feel his entire body tense as sweat rolled down his body.
“I think I’m going to cum, Mom.”
“Do it, Shiny! Cum inside me!”
Shining pushed hard and hilted himself deep inside her. His cock swelled intensely and Twilight inhaled deeply as she felt a strong unleash of fluids deep inside her. Throb after hard throb inside her, wave after seemingly unending wave of cum pushed inside her, as she accepted her son’s seed.
Shining collapsed forward onto his mom, his cock still inside her. She relaxed and tried to control her breathing as she felt his cock begin to slowly shrink inside her. She gasped in relief. She didn’t cum, but she had more than enough to polish herself up later. After all. She still had her own bath to take. She had those books for a reason, after all.
She looked up at the clock, thinking she could help finish his homework, read a chapter, and still have time to finish herself off in no time.
However, her husband would be home in 15 minutes. And she was filled with her son’s cum.
“Shit.”
“Shit, Shit, SHIT,” she growled at herself for the millionth time today. She chickened out last night, then this morning. She had to tell him now.
She looked at the clock, and in just 15 minutes, her husband would be home from work. Then, 15 minutes from then, her son would be home from school.
“Look at the bright side,” she whispered to herself. “You’re not pregnant. So how much damage is done anyway.”
The lock to the front door jiggled. Her heart stopped beating. She had to tell him. If she didn’t, Shining could accidentally say something. And then where would she be?
The door opened and Night Light stepped into their home.
“Honey, I’m home!” he said in a tone mimicking a sitcom. “See what I did there? It’s funny.”
She chuckled forcibly.
“Hey, speaking of funny!” Twilight said, then she instantly stopped herself.
What? Was she gonna just say “I had sex with our kid! Just thought you should know.” How in the world would that go over? There couldn’t be a worse way to break the news.
“I had sex with Shining,” she exclaimed. “Surprise!”
Holy shit, Twilight, what the fuck.
Night Light stared at his wife for a moment. Then blinked.
“You too? I mean. I know I took his virginity, but man. This makes me feel a lot better.”
Twilight’s mouth opened in shock. First she was horrified. Then she was relieved. Then she was confused. And then wondering how she didn’t know about this side of her husband. Then aroused but mostly horrified.
“R-really?” she asked, gobsmacked.
“Pppft. No! I’ve been dealing with April Foal’s jokes all day and you think I could come home and you could pull a fast one on me?”
Twilight Velvet raised a hoof to protest, but Nightlight walked up to her and gave her a big kiss on the cheek.
“You couldn’t hide anything from me, dear. You have the worst poker face.”
He headed into the kitchen and Twilight Velvet let her hoof fall to the floor again and stared straight forward in shock.
“He will never know,” she whispered to herself.
Just then, Shining burst through the open door.
“MOM! I got an A!”
“Really?!” she said, somehow breaking through her swamp of confusion into an even more baffled state of mind. “How?!”
“Oh, it was easy!” Shining said. “I showed her everything you taught me about PEMDAS last night and she’s giving me an A for the year! In fact! She said she could get me into the Royal Guard Academy if we had a little Parent-Teacher-Student conference.”
Twilight Velvet’s heart sank like Artax in the Swamp of Sadness.
“I’ve always wanted to be a royal guard when I grow up!” he said excitedly. “Can we, Mom? Can we?! When the cock hits just right, she sings!”
Twilight Velvet put a hoof to her temple and massaged the migraine that was forming. All of this because of some stupid homework. All of this just to help her son study.
She took a calculated risk, but boy is she bad at math.
