The Amazing Chicken Mane

by Jiro25

Rating: everyone
Tags: Scootaloo, Random, Adventure, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 1335

Nimbus Kicker, average pegasus, becomes the superhero Chicken Mane after stopping a fowl thief.

Look - up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Chicken Mane! Equestria's newest superhero will fight evildoers and fast-food chains in his quest to protect chickenkind. Action! Adventure! Probably not romance! Experience all this and more in The Amazing Chicken Mane!

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The Amazing Chicken Mane started as a side project while I was prereading and editing Chicken Mane, a story by CrimShade. I got bored and decided to rewrite the events of the first chapter in a more comedic and playful style, and that eventually blossomed into this. I attempted to fix the obvious issues with the original story, and ended up nearly creating a whole new one. This is my first fiction I'm confident enough in to upload, so please keep your criticism constructive.

Published 2012-09-05 11:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-05 11:14:01 UTC

1 - The Mysterious Griffin

It was a normal day in Ponyville. Well, as normal as a Ponyville day can be. The birds were singing, the townsponies were happy, the sun was shining... Wait. The sun was shining? Nimbus Kicker jerked his head up, taking in this information. There was supposed to be a thick cloud cover by 8! Nimbus quickly hopped up from his cloud and began the journey to the Cloudsdale Weather Factory.

Technically, he was off duty today, but his substitute was nowhere to be seen. What was her name? Rainbow Something-or-other. Nimbus rented out a Cloud Dispenser and went to work, grumbling about his slacker sub.

While filling the orange-tinted sky with clouds, he glimpsed a Griffin walking into town. That's odd, he thought, You don't see many Griffins around here. I wonder why a Griffin would be in Ponyville, especially following that whole "Gilda" incident. Nimbus attempted to keep one eye on the Griffin and one on his work, but that just reminded him of what his mother said when he was a kid: "If you keep making that face, it'll stay that way!" He had responded with, "Nuh-uh," but his mom pointed out a blond-maned filly who had that happen to her. That shut him up for a while.

This derailed Nimbus's train of thought long enough for the Griffin to get out of his sight. Nimbus decided to follow the mysterious Griffin rather than continuing his work. He could chew out his sub later for slacking off. He flew as fast as his wings could carry him to return the Cloud Dispenser and find the Griffin again.

Said Griffin was just exiting Davenport's Quills and Sofas. The sign out front said, "Now with 120% more Sacks!" Sure enough, the Griffin was hefting a large sack over his shoulder. The sack bounced on his shoulder as he went around town, talking to the few ponies out that late. Nimbus flew in a little closer to hear a conversation the Griffin was having with a brown Earth pony with an hourglass cutie mark.

"-Know where I could find any chickens?"

"Oh, um... I suppose Fluttershy would have some, but-"

"Where does this Flutterby live?"

"Fluttershy lives in the cottage at the edge of the Everfree Forest, but she's-"

Without letting the pony finish his sentence, the Griffin headed off towards Fluttershy's place, with Nimbus in hot pursuit.

The two approached the Everfree Forest, and found Fluttershy's cottage empty and dark. There was a note on the door, just visible in the last rays of sunlight.

"Twilight invited the girls and me to a sleepover. If you need me, I'm really, really, really sorry, but I'm not home. I left Angel Bunny in charge, so if you need to tell me something, you can give him the message. If you want to, that is. Sorry for the inconvenience." -F.Shy

Nimbus heard the mysterious Griffin mutter to himself, and landed as quietly as he could behind some bushes.
"So Flubbershy isn't home, is she? Perfect."

Why would that be perfect? And her name is Fluttershy! thought the pegasus. Nimbus watched as the Griffin walked around the cottage to the chicken coop out back.

Fluttershy never locked any of the doors or gates on her property. Not that she wasn't afraid of somepony stealing her things. She just figured that if somepony was desperate enough to turn to burgalry, they needed her belongings more than she did. Nimbus really couldn't think of any pony he'd ever met more kind than Fluttershy.

The locks being, as they were, nonexistant, the Griffin undid the latch on the gate and went into the chicken coop with his giant sack. Nimbus flinched as the quiet nighttime forest sounds were interrupted by the squawks of startled chickens. The squawks didn't sound like the chickens were just rudely awakened, they sounded more like they were being attacked by Nightmare Moon with a chainsaw. Ater about a minute of panicked screeches, the Griffin returned from the chicken coop with a significantly larger - and louder - bag.

Wait, why is a Griffin even on Fluttershy's property? He's certainly not supposed to be here - I don't think Fluttershy would hire a Griffin to animal-sit. She's been pretty wary of Griffins since the whole Gilda incident. That must mean he's a thief! A chicken thief!

Nimbus decided to take action against the feathered fowl filching. He jumped out from the bushes, saying "What are you doing? Stop, theif!"

"Wha-?" A gravelly, low voice answered from the Griffin.

"You heard me. Release those chickens!"

The Griffin muttered a colorful expletive under his breath. "Look, pony-brain, stay out of my way and I won't hurt yeh."

"I'm going to call the Nocturne Guard!" threatened the pegasus.

The Griffin faltered a bit. "If yeh breathe a word about this, punk, yeh won't live to regret it."

"Well then. Rock Paper Scissors."

"What?"

"Rock Paper Scissors. The foal's game. You win, I let you go and we forget this ever happened. But if I win, you let the chickens free and you don't touch a hair on my being."

"Fine." This twerp was proving to be a bit of a nuisance to the Griffin.

"Ready?"

"Rock..." Nimbus stared into the eyes of his opponent.

"Paper..." A bead of sweat appeared on the brow of the Griffin.

"Scissors!" Nimbus threw forward his right foreleg and wing - Scissors. The Griffin, in the same moment, threw out his claw, talons facing forwards - Paper.

"Hah! Now drop the chickens and scram!" The Griffin let go of the bag, knowing he'd been beat.
The Griffin took to the sky growling, "I'll be back, you little rat! This isn't the last you've heard of McGriffin!"

Nimbus turned his attention from the fleeing theif back to the sack. It had opened, and several chickens had already poked their way out.

"Sheesh, that was a close one." Nimbus heard a voice. He flicked his head around, searching for its owner.

"Are you the one who rescued us, stranger?"

"What? Is there somepony there?"

"Not exactly." Nimbus glanced around again, hearing the disembodied voice.

"Show yourself!"

"I have. Down here, sir."

Nimbus gazed downward and saw a rooster staring at him. The rooster opened its beak and spoke with surprising authority for someone that just poked their way out of a bag.

"There you go. My name is Roostercluck, the Chicken Ambassador. Were you the one who scared off that griffin?"

The pony gave a bewildered look at the feathered fowl before him. "You can talk."

"Well, it would be hard to be the Chicken Ambassador if I couldn't." Nimbus couldn't argue with that.

"Now, did or didn't you stop that burgaler?"

"Yes...?"

"My fullest gratitude to you, sir. May I know the name of our hero?"

"I'm Nimbus Kicker, but-"

"Sir Nimbus Kicker, chicken protector extraordinaire, as a gift of thanks I give you this." The rooster produced what looked to be another chicken from who-knows-where.

"A chicken? What am I supposed to do with a chicken?" The pegasus still couldn't wrap his mind around this strange, talking rooster.

"Ah, not a chicken, sir, but a robot. More specifically, a Controllable High-tech Investigation Contraption of Kinetic-Electronic Networking."

"A Collectable High-fashion what now?"

"You can call it a C.H.I.C.K.E.N for short. Think of it as a mind-controlled drone of sorts. If you attatch this-" Roostercluck gave Nimbus an odd device, again from who-knows-where, "to your upper neck, you can issue it commands."

"That's... really awesome. And I can just keep it?" Nimbus smiled.

"Only under this circumstance: You continue to fight for justice and chickens everywhere."

"Understood." Nimbus attempted to make a serious face, but failed miserably.

"If you need me, you can use that device to contact me. Come on, guys." Roostercluck motioned to his chicken colleagues and walked back towards Fluttershy's chicken coop. Nimbus Kicker took to the sky and flew off into the night, pondering his new position.