The Worst Villains Left.

by Hotel_Chicken

Rating: everyone
Tags: Iron Will, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Principal Cinch, My Little Pony Comic, Sad, Random, Daybreaker, Grubber
Length: 2788

When good has prevailed across the multiverse, where do the last villains go? Well, an evil bar in a casino would be a good place to start.

When good has prevailed across the multiverse, where do the last villains go? Well, an evil bar in a casino would be a good place to start.

Originally written for the Original Pairings contest, but 1,600 words in I looked at the rules and I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t count. Meh, I always wanted to touch on a few of these rouges anyway, and I had fun.

Published 2021-05-03 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-05-03 00:30:01 UTC

The Non-Reformed.

The word, “depressed” should have never been used to describe a smell. The sight of boarded windows was depressing, the sound of a record player slowly dying in the background was depressing. The feeling of loneliness in a once lively bar was depressing, even the feeling of a cold seat that had been tailor made for a royal was depressing. But the smell, a smell should have been exempt from that description. At least, that’s what Day Breaker thought.

Of all the things to focus on in her loneliness, she would have never guessed it was the smell of musty air and the faint whiff of dried urine.

She looked up from the miserable table, glancing over at the few evil creatures that remained in her Criminal Casino at the edge of the cosmos. The once bustling crowd of monsters and were-do-wells had died into a faint trickle before outright dying all together. Coming from a dimension where evil had truly prevailed, the thought that honesty, laughter, kindness, generosity, loyalty, and friendship could thrive was a baffling idea to her.

It had all started off so simple. A few Sombra’s from other worlds had either reformed or died, then the Gilda’s and few Gloriosa’s followed in their wake. Chrysalis’ were crucified, Nightmare Rarity’s were reformed, even the Great and Powerful Twilight had found her true calling in another realm.

There were so many stories of villains being reformed by heroes, whisked away on epic adventures to redeem themselves and build new lives. But what about the evil and loyal assistants who helped them during their time of villainy?

Apparently, they wallowed in depression at a failing casino. Forgiveness was a virtue that was constantly praised in the land of Equestria, though it was not always offered to some. And those very creatures had found their way to Day Breaker’s personal refuge, the bar.

Radiant Hope, one of the only evil crystal ponies left in the known multiverse, slept at an awkward angle, supporting her head on the bar as her body slowly turned on the minotaur stool. Grubber, a short hedgehog like gremlin with a sweet tooth, anxiously chewed on a candy bar as he paced the room, occasionally hitting the record player to keep it alive for another minute of desperate struggling.

A trio of diamond dogs were playing a game of cards with the two youngest evil-doers, Snips and Snails, two young unicorns with a knack for singing other’s praises. Even in her depression, Day Breaker couldn’t fight off the small and weak smile that came to her muzzle as she remembered their lively performances.

Principal Cinch, one of the few humans who ever discovered the magical mirrors across the dimensions, nursed a glass of gin as Iron Will double checked the legal documents she had brought from home. Like every other villain in the bar, Principal Cinch wasn’t welcome in her home dimension. Granted, she could have returned easily, but judging by how hard Iron Will was wincing, she would have to sleep in a prison cell for the rest of her mortal life if she ever went back.

As the music finally crawled to a slow death, Grubber began to throttle the record player.

“Come on, come on, work you stupid thing!”

“It dead, stupid!” One of the dogs barked.

“No, she’s not!” Grubber shot back. The poor little gremlin had listened to Tempest’s song over a thousand times, holding onto the mare whose stone corpse mixed with the Storm King’s own rubble.

A well-placed kick dragged the record player back to life, playing the distorted voice of a mare that fought to reach the next line before it died again. A quick spell was more than enough to drag the desperate demon away from the record player. He flailed as Day Breaker’s weak telekinesis slowly floated him over to her table, setting him in the seat directly opposite of her as he flared at the evil alicorn.

“Fix it!” He demanded.

“Do you think I wouldn’t if I could? Look around, Grubber, I can’t fix any of this. Eris’ power could only help me keep this building stable for so long when the other villains stopped coming. What little power I have is being used to keep the roof from collapsing on us,” she explained.

“I’m not a villain,” the principal muttered, earning a tired sigh from everyone in the bar.

“But didn’t you try to kill a student?” Snails asked in his deceptively innocent voice.

“I didn’t try to kill her! It’s all Principal Celestia’s fault for having her students use magic to cheat!” Principal Cinch argued.

“Should Iron Will even point out that attempted murder isn’t the only charge on here,” Iron Will asked rhetorically as he held up the thick binder of charges against the blue skinned woman.

“‘I’! If you’re an actual lawyer, then you should at least know proper syntax!”

“Stop shouting at horn head, monkey! We playing cards!” Another diamond dog barked.

“Ugh! Why am I surrounded by idiots?!”

“Maybe because you nearly murdered a student just to win a dumb game,” Snips answered.

It was pretty rare these days for either of the young unicorns to practice their banter. After their boss, Cozy Glow, was sent to Tartarus and half of Canterlot started searching for her two assistants, the pair had rarely said one amusing thing.

“Will you shut up? I will not be talked down to by a unicorn!”

“Aaaaand there’s the racism,” Iron Will stated, leaning over the counter to grab a bottle of whiskey and popping off the cap with his thumb.

“It’s not racist! I just refuse to be insulted by a fictional animal!”

“You sure you’re a teacher? Because, Iron Will doesn’t think you know what ‘fictional’ is.”

“Oh, don’t start with me, you bipedal, maze wandering, bovine!”

“Okay, now that’s racist,” Snails called out.

Before any arguments could grow out of hand, hoof, or paw, the sound of a bottle shattering against wood rang out in the air, bringing all of their attention to Grubber. The little Gremlin had managed to sneak off to fix the record Player while Day Breaker was distracted.

Before she could summon enough strength to bring him back to her table, the record player started again, coming out clearly as droplets of beer began to drip off of its side.

Too clearly in fact, as if the record player was brand new.

Taken aback by the record player’s surprising return to life, Day Breaker was too slow to notice the depressing smell around her faintly becoming something sweeter. The smell of root-beer and rose wine.

The room was enveloped in a blinding flash of light, causing the patrons to shy away as a cloud of pink butterflies swarmed around an odd creature.

Day Breaker had never met a chaotic spirit aside from Eris, but she had heard tales of Discord. Friend and foe, criminal and companion, villain and veteran, an unpredictable force of nature.

He was true chaos incarnate.

“Ta-Da! Did somepony say Discord! … Well, you should if you didn’t. There’s not one conversation that couldn’t be made better by having my name in it,” he announced gleefully before quickly appearing at Principal Cinch’s side when she shied away.

“Well, well, well. Blue, not green, no question mark, not a hit or miss with most fans. You must be Cinch. I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but the pleasure’s all yours.”

Before the former principal could respond, Discord zipped over to the game table with his own deck of cards, which were actually a credit card, uno card, birthday card, and a normal card. “Ooooh, what a lovely recreation of that one painting. A bit cliched, but hey, cliches are the classics. Oh, and aren’t you two little terrors just absolutely adorable. Gasp! No, double gasp! Is that you, sunny bunny honey dummy?” Discord asked, suddenly sitting on Day Breaker’s table.

“I must say, I love what you’ve done with your mane. I never really liked the rainbow one, it always left a bad taste in my mouth.”

The chaotic creature followed up his odd remark by grabbing an empty glass and filing it with the hellfire that filled Day Breaker’s ethereal mane. Then, to her disgust and slight horror, the floating amalgamation drank it easily and burped a puff of rainbow-colored smoke. “Spicy. I like it! So, how are you all doing?”

Not a single creature stood to answer as they simply stared at the draconequus. Blinking in awkward anticipation, Discord glanced at each of the villains for a brief moment as he scratched his brow.

“What? Too much of an entrance? Well, normally it’d be a bit better, but the writers are gone and all I have is this one sad human with a back problem to help me. It is difficult to find good help these days, which is actually why I’m here,” Discord said, taking a seat on the counter as the cowering cow and the horrified human retreated to Day Breaker’s table.

“What do you want, Discord?” Day Breaker asked tensely.

“Oh, Sun-drops, I already told you. I need some help and you’re just the creatures I need. Well, easiest creatures I can get at the moment, but that’s semantics, dear. The point is, I’m here to offer you all something no one else in the great big universe is willing to.”

“Som-blah,” Radiant Hope slurred in her sleep, nuzzling the glass bottle under her as Discord patted her on the head.

“Nope, I learned that lesson, thank you very much. No, I’m here to offer you all the opportunity to reform!”

“You wanna reform us?” Iron Will asked as Principal Cinch used him as a living shield against the spirit of chaos.

“Well I need a few creatures who know the law and can enforce it, someone who has a wide array of knowledge and can be a teacher to others, a few experts in mining minerals and other resources, and of course who could forget the lovely little helpers,” Discord listed before wrapping the three smallest villains in his arms and squeezing them with a hug. Ignoring the trio of small villains struggling in his grasp, Discord’s head spun around to face Day Breaker.

“This was technically all my cousin’s fault. Well, technically another dimensional version of myself who decided to bring shame to the Eris name by stealing Cadence's color scheme and taking on that ugly bird persona, but that’s semantics. The point is, I want to help you. Nopony and nobody else is willing to give any of you a chance, so why not rely on the kindness of this chaotic character?”

“And what would you get out of this?” Day Breaker asked with a raised brow.

“Goodness, me. Why do you think I’m doing this?” He asked, placing the trio of tiny terrors down as he waved a hand around in the air. “For some nefarious reason? Perhaps to watch you all suffer, enjoy a show, or maybe spread chaos to another dimension that hasn’t seen magic in so long that my copy in that world already died of boredom over a thousand years ago so I’m maybe possibly hoping that your band of merry delinquents could cause a little chaos and make it entertaining again? That sounds absolutely ridiculous, my dear. After all, I’m a good guy, now,” he promised, summoning a golden halo to hover around his horns. It was only for a moment, but there was definitely a moment where the holy relic flickered above him.

“Another dimension?” Snails parroted, as he and the other villains, minus Radiant Hope, gathered at Day Breaker’s table.

“Yup, just a little insignificant plot of land that I’m hoping you can all, ‘fix’ for me. I call it ‘Gross boring world number 5,000’, or G5 for short. Everything’s gone to Tartarus in a teapot there, but it’s still so boooooring. At least, for now it is. It’s somewhat peaceful now, but that’ll change with or without any of you. Either you accept my deal and I have fun earlier, or you turn it down and I just wait for the fireworks to go off there. Either way, it’s a win-win for me.”

“What if we accept?” Iron Will asked, earning a glare from the human clinging to his arm.

“Are you actually thinking of making a deal with the devil?” Cinch asked snidely.

“Do you have a better plan?” Iron Will retorted, causing cinch to clamp her jaw shut as she thought over Discord’s offer.

“To answer your point my fine fiend, I just want you all there and not here. Help them, enslave them, do whatever. But, I’m offering you the chance to join the party and reform with everyone else. It’s your decision to make when you get there. So, do I have any takers?” Discord asked.

A fresh start. It wasn’t even an idle thought that Day Breaker had toyed with before. Even when she took her freedom, she chose to remain the Casino’s prisoner by accepting her new role as the owner. Now, for the first time since she had met the other version of her deceased sister, she was being offered a chance to live in peace.

It wasn’t even the peace that the other-Luna had offered her. It wasn’t hoofed to her on a silver platter, a promise of instantly being accepted by others and becoming ‘good’. It was something she could actually strive for, a physical and mental distraction that could keep away the retreats and sorrows that ate away at her mind. She would be able to find out who she was and who she wanted to be without being told.

The others all had their own thoughts on the matter at hoof, but it was clear to Day Breaker that they were all seriously considering Discord’s offer. Grubber was the first among them to stand up from his seat and announce his decision.

“I’ll do it.”

“Us too,” Snips added on.

“If dogs need dig, we dig anywhere!”

“Well, I don’t have anywhere else to go, and I know most of you would be lost without me. So, I suppose I’ll join you,” Cinch chimed in, earring an eye roll from Iron Will before he nodded.

A sudden snort from the counter called everyone’s attention to Radiant Hope as she fell off her stool. “Owww…” She groaned, picking herself up and staring oddly at Discord.

“Wha… What’s going on?”

“I’m giving you all the chance to reform in another dimension. You in?”

The purple coated mare looked back at the bottle that was laying next to her hoof, stealing quick glances at both it and Discord for several moments, before kicking it aside and shakily trotting to the group. “Buck it, I’m in.”

“Wonderful! Daisy-Breaker, what about you?”

Day Breaker took a moment to look over the worn bar around them, feeling the last reserves of her chaotic and alicorn magic fading on the higher floors of the casino. It would have been a miracle if the casino could stand for another week.

With few options left, Day Breaker nodded her head in a silent answer, saving her words she looked at the bar one last time.

“OOOOOH! Wonderful! Okay, everyone have everything they need? No, okay, don’t care, bye!”

And with that, he snapped his fingers. The villains once again covered their eyes as a brilliant wave of light enveloped their world. Day Breaker and the others slowly regained their vision, staring at a lively field filled with flowers and butterflies.

The grass was lush and green, the flowers bright and colorful. The world around them was actually alive, a place seemingly untouched by the calamities that claimed her sister’s life. There was a clear blue sky above them, and air that didn’t reek of sulfur or depression.

Day Breaker’s vision began to blur again as she blinked away the tears, listened to the beauty of nature that kissed her ears. A shuddered breath left her as the grass brushed against her coat, carrying the touch of a cool breeze that washed over them.

Baby canaries sung in a tree nearby, breaking the damn that Day Breaker had built long ago. Tears freely rolled down her eyes as memories of a world long forgotten filled her head. She hadn't even dreamt of seeing a lively world like this one, but here it was. It was real, it was a place where she could finally make amends for everything she did. A place her sister would have loved.

“Every creature. I think… I think this is the beginning of something beautiful.”