Am I unforgivable? (An I Am Octavia Story)

by ALoneWolf

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, Octavia, Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, DJ P0N-3, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 7300

Im sorry, so, so ,sorry please forgive me

Immediately after her concert, Octavia is riddled with guilt after what she said to Vinyl on the phone so she rushes home to apologize only to find a horrifying and heartbreaking scene. Now practically an outcast in Ponyville Octavia wonders if she'll ever be forgiven for what she has done.

Based off the infamous animation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZvGGGHekU4

Published 2021-05-09 03:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-05-13 18:43:47 UTC

A day of Gray and Sadness

You hurt me now, but I wont cry
I am Octavia

Those Lyric's continue to play in her head as she sits uncomfortably on her seat. Who would have thought her performance last week would have lead to her losing the one person near and dear to this young mare, and today was a tragic day in ponyville as a once loved and popular icon's life has been taken away and not a single pony has been the same since. Not one citizen had any smiles or good mood's written on their faces, they were full of nothing but sadness and depression. There wasn't even a a sign of sunlight for two weeks it has been nothing but dark clouds and gloomy atmospheres, it's as if the sky was crying as well from the loss of this one mare. As the eulogy commences the young mare found herself surrounded with looks consisting of cold icy rage and vengeance from the audience member's. She tries her best to ignore all the look's but she knew it was impossible.

This was Octavia

Deep down she couldn't blame anyone in the audience for acting hostile towards her as she herself felt responsible for her best friends tragic death and she hasn't been the same after what she witness last week.

"How could I have been so cruel towards her?" She quietly said to herself as that painful memory began to play in her head.

Last week

Nearly breaking the door off the coach as she stepped off the stopped train, Octavia then rocketed out of the station, Our young mare wasted no time as she rushed straight home to her apartment. Not even bothering to put her jacket on or open her umbrella as the rain drizzled all over her as she ran. She didn't even bother to wave or say hi back to any of the passersby, she only had one priority in her mind.........................reconciliation.

She continued her trek nearly reaching her destination, but the hurtful word's she had said to Vinyl on the phone kept playing in her head as the guilt began to grow more and more.

I'm sorry Vinyl, but you've broken one to many promises to me. This friendship is over

This friendship is over

This friendship is over

This friendship is over

OVER

As those word's kept repeating in her head as she continued her trek towards her apartment building, the guilt in her heart grew even more bigger. The more she runs, the more she ask herself why did I say those words, what kind of friend am I, what was I thinking? After what felt like an eternity Octavia finally made it home to her apartment building. She then takes a second to shake the rain water off her fur and to catch her breath as she did run all the way across town without calling a cab.

Octavia then takes her phone out of her purse and checks the time and see's that it's a little after 9pm. She sighs in relief as Vinyl usually comes home from the recording studio at about 8:30 so she wouldn't have to wait for her arrival. No doubt she was upstairs sad and depressed thinking her best friend hates her, but no for long. Octavia was gonna apologize to her whether she likes it or not

After a moment of hesitation Octavia finally mustered up the courage and unlocked her apartment door.

"Vinyl? I'm home!" Octavia called out as she walk's inside her apartment.

"I'm so sorry" She continued before closing the door." I was being stubborn, I didn't mean any of those hurtful word's on the phone. You had a busy schedule and I should have respected that, I shouldn't have thrown a stupid tantrum just because you couldn't make it to one of my concert's. I don't want our friendship to end that was just my emotion's talking I don't wanna lose my best friend over my stupid mistake, can you please forgive me? I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you"

However there was no response not even a hint of hoofstep's or weeping upstairs. Octavia begins to wonder why there wasn't a response as Vinyl should have been home by now.

"Vinyl?" Octavia says wondering why there wasn't a response from her best friend. " Hmmm that's strange, she should be home by now. Did she stay at the studio a little later thinking I didn't want to see her? Maybe I'll call her supervisor just in case.

But before she could make the call, Octavia notices a light upstairs illuminating from a familiar room.

"She is home" Octavia thought as she makes her way up the stairs.

After a small trek Octavia find's herself on the second floor and finds the light of Vinyl's bedroom on. She makes her way towards her friends room and notices the door slightly opened, fearing she wouldn't let her in she decides to take a more direct approach to try and get her friend to come out of her bedroom.

"Vinyl?" She say's waiting for a response.

"Vinyl please come out, I know your angry but at least come out and here me out" She continues still waiting for a response.

"Vinyl come on! What do you want from me?! She call's out slightly irritated. " Do you want me to punch myself in the face? Cause I'll do anything to make you come out"

After what felt like forever, Octavia has waited long enough and decides to confront her heartbroken friend head on.

"THAT'S IT VINYL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Octavia calls out, now completely irritated. " I don't care how angry you are at me, I'm gonna apologize to you whether you like it or not!"

She then forcefully opens Vinyl's bedroom door and step's inside ready to give the biggest apology ever even if Vinyl didn't want to here it, but it never came. Before Octavia could speak ,her mind and eye's dropped at what she had found practically hanging in her friends room. After what seemed like an eternity Octavia let's out a blood curdling scream at what she has found in vinyl's room. There hanging from a makeshift noose stood Vinyl's lifeless body lightly swinging back and forth with a note taped to her back with her signature shades hiding her lifeless eyes as Octavia continues to scream and cry out at the sight of her dead friend. Octavia then collapses on the floor praying to Celestia that this was a bad dream and that Vinyl was alive and well.

Present

But she knew it wasn't a dream, it was more of a living nightmare. No matter how many time she denied it, it was true. Her friend had killed herself all because of one devastating phone call. Octavia then snap's out of it and redirects her sight at the upcoming eulogy. As the many audience members continue to stare coldly at her. Many of Vinyl's friend's, fans, family, and her boyfriend Frederic were there mourning their loved ones death all while blaming the one mare for causing it in the first place. Octavia's friends and band mates were there as well giving her the same cold stares as Vinyl's supporter's, Octavia's parent's were sitting right next to her as well not even bothering to look at their daughter. As Octavia looks on with a guilty look on her face, Mayor Mare step's up on the podium and the funeral soon commences.

"Friend's, stallion's, mares, and loved ones" She begins. " We are gathered here today to say good by to Vinyl Scratch, also known by her many fans as DJ Pon-3. Loved by all ages, a heart as gold as her platinum record, and a positive icon of Ponyville and beyond Canterlot. Being a little bit of a music lover myself, to this day I still find myself listening to her many dupstep covers as I organize and sort out my numerous paperwork's. That young mares music has always had an impact among all of us , making us feel better and lightning up our mood's whenever we're feeling down or as you kid's say today Totes pressed. Her music and positive attitude as she played in parties, charity event's, and night clubs has had a positive impact among us all, I can think of no other musician who could ever fill the void of this young musician.

As Mayor Mare made her statement Many of the audience members started to shed tear's of sadness over the fallen mare. But out of all the members, Vinyl's parents and her older brother Neon light's took it much harder knowing a member of the family has passed on. Frederic especially felt much worse losing the one Mare he's ever loved, Octavia noticed this and feel's just as bad as she was the one who got him and Vinyl together in the first place. After noticing Frederic's secret fondness of techno and dubstep music she decided to try setting him and vinyl up and the two of em have been compatible ever since, but now Frederic openly curses his former friend for taking away his one true love and worst of all he even planned on proposing to Vinyl this year.

"Now to say a few words on her behalf is Vinyl's father Record breaker" Mayor Mare says as she step's off the podium to make way for Record Breaker. He then steps on the podium to begin his eulogy of his lost daughter.

"My daughter was something else" He said. " Hehe man You would not believe how many times she kept me and my wife up at night playing her dubstep music when she was a filly. Being a musician and producer myself I knew my children had a lot of potential in them. Who would have known all that loud music would get my daughter this far in life, I tell ya I have never been so proud of her and my son"

As he continues Neon light's tries his hardest to hold back his tear's along with his mother.

"Vinyl's heart has always been about music" Record Breaker continues. " She loved it death, whenever I let her and Neon light's come to the recording studio with me she always jammed out to any of my clients singing in the booth. That's when I knew her future was set. Heh I still remember her words when I took her home one day " Music is so cool I wanna be just like you daddy!" She was even her brothers inspiration to start a career in music himself. Vinyl always had a busy schedule and most of the time we had to postpone holiday or family events due to her and Neon's schedule's, and we respected it knowing that they always tried their hardest to put their family first before their career's.

Breaker then shoot's a cold glare at Octavia before continuing. " But it seems some don't respect her schedule" The audience then went back to giving Octavia cold glares as she look's down in shame.

"If it's alright I would like to recite my baby girls note" Record breaker continued trying his best to hold in his tear's.

To my fans and loved one's

I'm so sorry for what I have done, I just cant live in this world anymore knowing I've hurt someone near and dear to me over my stupid music. My heart was so clouded with guilt knowing that I hurt my best friend and couldn't make it to her concert due to my busy schedule, if I known my career would cost me my best friend I would have never gone on this path in the first place. I thank you all for the support you guy's are the best. I'm so happy to got a chance to play at so many important events and fill your heart's with the joy of techno and dubstep music.

Neon Light's

Hey big bro, I know you and me had our moment's but your my number one fan. I'm so proud of you for making it so far, TBH I was kinda jealous of your music as you had a pretty sick beat in your tunes that I felt I could never step up too. But I really did enjoy your music, hell you were my inspiration as well . While mine isn't as epic as you, I'm happy that I got this far into my music career and got as many fans as yourself. I would have never gone this far without you and dad inspiring me to keep on going. I'm so happy me and you got a chance to make such awesome music and collaborations together, I know I don't say this as much but, I love you big bro. And please promise me that you wont give up music because of me, keep on grooving bro your amazing, live on to the power of music.

Mom and Dad

Thank you for always believing in and supporting me and Neon Light's, you guy's are the best. Dad I'm so happy you let me and Neon lights go with you to the studio, whenever I heard you or one of your client's singing I knew I wanted to be just like you. Your music was amazing, I knew I had to train long and hard to be able to match up to your amazing level but I never gave up no matter the obstacles that stood in my way. Your the best musician in the world dad please keep on the groove. Mom you were just as much an inspiration to me. Even though your not a musician yourself, you have an amazing singing voice. I remember whenever I was feeling sad or couldn't sleep at night you always sang to me and I felt so much better. You have the most beautiful voice, i can definitely see what you and dad have in common, you two are made for each other. I can never imagine my life without your amazing voice or dad's inspiration, thanks mom you and dad are amazing. I love you guy's so much.

P.S Sorry for keeping you guy's up all night when I was little with my loud music.

Frederic

Hey babe I wish it didn't have to end like this. I really enjoyed all the times you and I had together, you were my everything. When Vinyl brought us together my jaw nearly dropped when i realized you had a thing for Techno and dubstep music especially my taste in music. Hehe to think a cool and collected fancy looking stallion such as yourself liked my type of music I would have never imagined. The times you and I spent together were the happiest moments in my life from the parties, dates, movie night's, collaborations, and the orchestras. I cant remember the last time I felt so happy with anyone in my life. Once again you are my everything, I love you so much Freddie your the best boyfriend I ever had ( hehe sorry I know you hate it when i say your name like that💘) and please promise me one thing find someone else someday, I know it's gonna be hard but I don't want you spending the rest of your life alone with me being gone I want you to be happy Freddie, your happiness is music to my ear's babe. i love you so much babe please continue on with your life.

Octavia AKA My former best friend

Right now your probably celebrating me being gone, and I don't blame you I have been a horrible friend. I made a promise to you but I broke it because of my schedule, I should have picked my friend over my job and look's what happened, you hate my gut's now and wish me dead. Well congratulations you got your wish. But TBH I cant be mad at you, don't get me wrong when you said that our friendship is over on the phone I was devastated but I actually couldn't blame you for abandoning me, I actually tried to head over to your concert, hell I even ran out of the studio and headed towards the concert with the ticket in hand, but sadly the usher said that he couldn't let me in until the next show so I would miss your performance completely. I cried out to you begging for forgiveness but I knew you wouldn't here me outside of the concert hall. Devastated and alone I knew that you would never forgive me and that you never wanted to see me again, I couldn't imagine my life without my best friend so I knew this was the only way to show you how sorry I am for not making it Octy I mean Octavia. I know you'll never forgive me or be my friend anymore but I am truly sorry Octavia, I hope you live a long happy life without this disgusting mare by your side. good luck out there Octavia and goodbye forever.

Love with all my heart

Vinyl Scratch

As Record breaker finished reading the letter the audience members couldn't hold it in anymore and each and everyone of em cried there eye's out, all while cursing and berating Octavia for causing Vinyl's suicide. Octavia just sit's there hanging her head in shame as she poured out her own tears.

Record Breaker then took one last look at his daughter's casket before continuing.

"Goodbye baby girl" He say's as tears start to form. " I hope your spinning records in heaven" He then walks off the podium and embraces his wife as he cries on her shoulder and Neon Light's soon joined the embrace all while shooting a glare at Octavia.

Hour's passed as all of vinyl's supporters gave their eulogy's to their fallen friend all except Octavia who just sat at her seat knowing that no one wanted to hear her out or even allow her near their fallen loved one. The funeral soon came to an end as the rain fell down, all the audience members headed home saying goodbye one last time to Vinyl scratch. However Octavia didn't leave and just sat at her seat still silently weeping. Sensing that she was alone she got out of her seat and made her way towards her fallen friends grave.

Here Lies Vinyl Scratch AKA Dj Pon-3

A loving musicial, the queen of dubstep, a loving daughter and sister

"I'm so sorry Vinyl" Octavia says looking at the grave with tears in her eye's. " I wish this never happened, and that I didn't say those hurtful word's to you"

"It's too late for that" Said a voice. Octavia then turned around to find Frederic giving her a hateful look with his own tear's forming .

"I loved her" He continued. " She was the best thing that ever happened to me. and you took her away from me all because of a DAMN CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!! Why would you do this to me?! I wanted to be her husband, to make music with her, to have a family with her. Why would you be so cruel to her? I thought you were my friend, why would you do something so selfish WHY?

Octavia look's at her broken former friend as he berates her for her friend's death, not even blaming him for being so hostile or lashing out at her. Octavia then opened her mouth to speak again.

"I'm sorry Frederic" She said sadly.

"Your sorry?" Frederic said growling slightly. " Your sorry? Your sorry,YOUR SORRY!!!!!!!!!???????????

Frederic then charged towards Octavia ash she shields herself waiting for what's about to come. But suddenly Frederic stopped in his track as he found himself pinned to a stop by Neon Light's who gave him a look of sympathy.

"Stop man, she's not worth it" He said calmly." Vinyl wouldn't want this from you, and you know it"

Frederic then takes a deep breath and he soon calm's down and silently thanks his friend. He then begins walking away but not before turning around towards Octavia.

"Don't expect me to play along side you anymore Octavia" He said coldly before heading home.

Octavia then stares at Neon Light's who gave her the same cold stare.

"You better not say thank you" He coldly says before walking away himself leaving the mare alone.

Octavia then silently weep's as she watches her former friend and Neon Light's leave wishing that she hadn't been so cruel and drove her friend to suicide. She wished that she could take it all back and apologize to Vinyl, but Frederic was right the damage was done and it can never be fixed. Wiping her tear's away she then makes her trek back home wishing that this was all a bad dream and that Vinyl was waiting for her back home.

You hurt me now, but I wont cry

I am Octavia

I am Octavia

Author's Note

And there it is folk's, the first summer story:pinkiehappy: I decided to split it into 2 part's as it felt way too long for a one page story. So expect the final part tommorrow......................hopefully:twilightsheepish:, I hope you guy's enjoy the story and i'll see ya soon:twilightsmile:

Disclaimer: I don't hate Octavia this fic isn't me bashing on her I'm not that kind of person, I just wanted to see how her hurtful word's on the phone would make an impact on her friend. but i'll explain it more in depth after the final page is released.

A visit from a friend

10 minutes after the funeral

Octavia made her way back home to her apartment, taking the long way across the park to avoid bumping into any of Vinyl's friends or attendees from the funeral. Sad, gloomy, and depressed she just wanted all this to be a bad dream, to wake up in the morning and find vinyl alive and nearly burning the house down with her attempt's at cooking . But It wasn't a dream, this was real. Vinyl was dead she wasn't coming back and she knew it was all her fault. She continuously cursed herself for saying those hurtful words on the phone wishing that she could take them back but she knew it was far too late. No matter how many times she prayed to Celestia that this was all a bad dream, she knew it wasn't and that nothing will ever be the same again.

As she neared closer to her apartment building memories popped up in her head throughout her and Vinyl's friendship. From the first day they met each other in elementary school, offering her help with homework, Vinyl almost getting her leg broken protecting Octavia from some bullies, the two of em performing at their high school talent show, their graduation speech, the wild college parties Vinyl begged her to attend , Vinyl landing a record deal, Octavia receiving opportunities to play at orchestras, doing collaborations together, and Vinyl nearly burning the apartment down trying to cook dinner that one time.

The times she spent with her best friend were the happiest moment's in her life. whenever she was down or under the weather vinyl was always there to cheer her up, whether it was with words or music. But now there was no one to cheer her up, vinyl was gone and she wasn't coming back things will never be the same again for this young mare. Her friends hated her, Vinyls friends, family, fans, would have been husband hate her, and even her own parents wouldn't talk to her. she wished so badly that she could reverse all this, that she could have been born a unicorn so that she could use the time travel spell and fix all this. But she knew this could never be fixed. She lost everything and there was no going back from it.

At last she finally reached her apartment, she just wanted to get inside and put this day behind her . But she knew this would never go away she couldn't come back from it and this incident will haunt her dreams for the rest of her life.

"What have I done?" Octavia sighed as she unlocked the door and stepped inside her apartment sad that she was coming home alone with no Vinyl or anyone by her side.

One hour later

We find Octavia sitting gloomily on the kitchen floor with a bottle of scotch and a glass in hoof as well. Normally she wouldn't be caught dead drinking this stuff, but considering today's event's and the loss of her friend she felt this was the appropriate time to "try new thing's". She look's down to her phone after she deleted all her social media pages and blocked her number as to avoid hate messages from all of Vinyl's followers. She also looked down to the switchblade that she took out of Vinyl's room after she took out the scotch. To this day she still wonder's why in the world Vinyl would even have something like that in her possession even though the music world especially if its rock or techno can get dangerous at times.

She stared into the open blade of the knife showing her reflection of the depressed look's in her eye's. As she stared into the blade the many hurtful words that came from her mouth and the ponies at the funeral and from her text before blocking her number kept playing in her mind.

"I'm sorry Vinyl, you've broken one to many promises to me. This friendship is over"

"But it seem's some don't respect her schedule"

"You monster!"

"How could you do that?!"

"And I thought Nightmare moon was evil"

"Never talk to me again Octavia"

"Don't expect me to play along side you anymore Octavia"

"You better not say thank you"

And the list keep's going on. After a moment of hesitation and taking another sip of her drink, she slowly grabbed the switchblade off the floor and stared into the sharp blade. After another moment of hesitation she gently placed the sharp tip of the blade near her jugular as tears began to form in her eyes. She knew that thing's would never go back to normal that no one would ever forgive her for what she's done, and that her best friend was gone forever. She once again prayed that this was all a bad dream, but again Octavia knew it wasn't, this couldn't be reversed and there was no going back from it and she knew there was only one way to make it right.

" I'm sorry so, so, sorry please forgive me" She said tearfully as she slowly began to dig the tip deeper into her jugular as some blood began to drip down slowly.

"But before she could dig deeper, her only way out was interrupted by a knock at the door. Hearing and surprised that she had a guest, she dropped the knife away from her neck and began to collect herself again as small amounts of blood continued to drip down her neck. as the knocking continued Octavia finally stood up from her drunkin state , grabbed a paper towel ,and wiped off some of the blood from her neck while putting some pressure on the small cut. After managing to slowly make the bleeding stop she then opened the door and was surprised to find one of her closest friend at the door, Twilight sparkle AKA Princess Twilight Sparkle stood there with a look of sympathy.

"Twilight?" Octavia said slightly nervous"

"Hello Octavia" Twilight said with a smile. " How are you doing this evening?"

Octavia hesitated for a second knowing that she's seen better day's since discovering Vinyl, but she tried her hardest to act like shes doing fine in front of the princess of friendship.

" Uh I'm doing fine thank you for asking your highness" She said still nervous.

"Please, just call me Twilight" Twilight said slightly annoyed. " I may have descended but you can still call me Twilight Sparkle without the princess or your highness part"

" Oh my apologies Twilight" She said still nervous. " Uh Would you like to come inside?"

"Of course thank you" Twilight said as she was escorted inside the apartment building.

As the two friends walked inside, Twilight took a chance to survey Octavia's place. She looked around the messy looking living room which look's as if it hasn't been touched in a few weeks, but considering Octavia just lost a friend she couldn't blame her for barely taking care of her place. She then noticed Octavia's state with her hair messed up a little and the smell of alcohol coming from her. She also noticed the bottle of Scotch on the kitchen floor along with the switchbade that had a few hints of blood on it.

"Thank god I showed up in time" Twilight said in her head thanking Celestia that she prevented yet another possible suicide attempt.

" Please take a seat on the couch, I'll go get us some refreshment's" Octavia said trying to act happy.

"Thank you Octavia" Twilight said politely, she then got a chance to take a glimpse of the wound on Octavia's neck. luckily the knife tip didn't dig too deep into her jugular so there wasn't any permanent damage. after a few minutes Octavia came back with a cup of tea and another glass of scotch for herself. After placing the tray on the mini table she took a seat next to the princess of magic.

"You know I wasn't expecting visitor's tonight" Octavia said. " This was quite a surprise, It's been quite a while since you and I hung out and had a friendly conversation"

"Well I figured you were feeling a bit down after losing Vinyl so I thought I'd drop by to see how you were holding up" Twilight replied.

"Well I appreciate it my friend thank you" Octavia replied back with a small smile.

Twilight then takes a sip of her tea as Octavia took a sip of her scotch as well causing Twilight to raise an eyebrow.

"I thought you didn't like Scotch?" Twilight questioned.

" Well I figured it was about time to get out of my comfort zone and give new thing's a try" Octavia said slightly gloomy. " Plus after losing a loved one it's only fair to pour one out in their honor, kind of a traditional thing wouldn't ya agree?"

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight" Twilight questionably replied. She then placed her cup of tea on the table before speaking again.

"Octavia are you alright?" She asked.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Octavia answered still nervously.

"Come on Octavia" Twilight corrected. " I'm the princess of friendship I can tell if a ponies dealing with some hardship's. You forgot that I helped Mayor Mare to organize the funeral, and judging by all the look's the attendees gave you and how upset and silent you've been during the entire eulogy. I instantly knew you were dealing with a lot of stuff, and also I seen the bloodied switchblade on the floor in the kitchen and the visible wound on your neck. It's probably non of my business Octavia even with me being a princess but I don't wanna see one of my closest friends go down that path, so please tell me how you feel I wanna try to help you, please Octavia"

As Twilight finished her statement Octavia looked down at the table with her expression hidden in the bangs of her hair. She had a feeling Twilight would catch on soon, especially since she was quite a mess from the smell of alcohol and the knife wound on the center of her neck. Yet she couldn't help but feel slightly impressed, no doubt Twilight was crowned a princess for a good reason. While she wasn't willing to poor down her feelings, fearing that twilight would abandon her as well and she couldn't risk losing another one of her closest friends especially since her other ones don't want anything to do with her. Feeling defeated she felt there was no turning back from this and finally broke.

"You cant" She said with a sad sigh.

"What?" Twilight asked.

"You can't help me Twilight" Octavia continued. " Nothing you can do or say can erase the damage that I have caused"

"You caused?" Twilight asked. " What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on Twilight!" Octavia snapped." You were there to organize the funeral, honestly you should have seen Vinyl's suicide note and read EVERYTHING on it"

After a moment of questioning Twilight look's back at the suicide note that she indeed read while helping to organize the eulogy, she then looks back at the last thing Vinyl wrote exclusively to Octavia so it's pretty obvious to the young alicorn as to why her friend is saying the suicide was her fault.

"Octavia listen to me. I know you feel bad about what you've said to Vinyl over the phone but you can't blame yourself for her suicide it wasn't your fault" Twilight said.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME SPARKLE!!!!!!???????" Octavia snapped." Of course it's my fault! I told Vinyl on the phone that I didn't wanna be friend's anymore all because I threw a stupid tantrum over her not making it to my concert!"

" Calm down Octavia" Twilight jumped in. " Vinyl know's you didn't mean all that you cant keep blaming yourself for all this, no one is judging you"

"Tell that to all of Vinyl's supporters" She retorted with tears beginning to form." EVERYBODY hates me for what I did Twilight. My friend's hate me, Vinyl's friend's and fans hate me, the whole town hates me, my band mates wont play with me anymore, Vinyl's family want's to tear me limb from limb, no orchestra will allow me to play there, I had to delete my social media pages, and to top it off my own parent's haven't spoken to me since!"

As she made her statement Twilight watched her friends sad state but said nothing as she continued her rant.

"I destroyed so many lives because of my stupid mistake" Octavia continued with tears." I can never go back from it no matter how many times I pray to Celestia that this is all a bad dream. Vinyl's always had a busy schedule throughout her career like her dad said but I didn't respect it and instead just threw a hissy fit over her missing one FREAKIN CONCERT!!!!!! And now look what's happened I have no one, everybody hates me now because I took away their beloved friend, daughter, and positive icon. I'll never be forgiven for this Twilight, everyone's right I'm just as evil as Nightmare moon . My best friend is gone forever, she's never coming back, and its all...........my.............................FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Octavia then collapsed on the couch crying loudly as Twilight continued to watch her sad state. Seeing one of her closest friend's in this state was too much for the young Alicorn to handle. She could feel all the negative emotions that clouded her friend's mind. Vinyl's suicide, the hurtful word's she said to her on the phone, the cold glares she received during the funeral eulogy's, her friends and family abandoning her, and the sad reality that her friend is never coming back and blaming herself for it. Seeing a friend in this state broke her heart, and the worst part Octavia felt that she would never be forgiven for this and thought about doing the whole world a favor and just end it as well. After a moment Twilight collected her friend into a warm and loving embrace which she quickly returned and soon cried on her friend's shoulder. Octavia continues to cry on Twilight's shoulder as the young alicorn gently rubbed her friends back in an effort to calm her down, after a few minutes Twilight then spoke again as Octavia's crying soon turned to quiet weeping.

" Octavia it's ok" Twilight said in a motherly tone. " Listen to me, yes what you said to Vinyl on the phone, ending your friendship all for missing your concert was too far and quite cruel. But deep down she knows you didn't mean it and so do you. You regret what you've said to her and wish you could take it back which show's that you do care for her and regret everything that's happened, but you cant spend the rest of your life blaming yourself for all this. Your not evil Octavia your a good person who just made one big mistake, no one hates you. Not me, not your parent's, friends, or your bandmates. Deep down they know your truly sorry for all this and they still care about you"

Octavia then sniffed and slowly wiped the tear's from her eyes before making her statement.

"How can you say that Twilight?" She sniffed." Did you not see how I was treated during the whole eulogy? Hell Frederic was this close to attacking me, how do you expect any of them to forgive me for what I've done?"

"That is true old friend" Twilight answered." But listen while they are upset at you, they know your sorry for what you've done they're just not ready to show it yet. Again nobody hates you Octavia and I guarantee, everybody will forgive you. It'll take time but I assure you everyone will forgive you. Take a look at me and my friends, TBH I got betrayed by them a few times when i first moved to ponyville but we always try our hardest to make amends and move past our problem's cause we cherish our friendship more than anything int he world. And I promise you, you will be forgiven Octavia but until then you have to learn to forgive yourself first"

After a moment Octavia finally collected herself and thought over her friends word's. Deep down she thought it was almost impossible to be forgiven for what she's done and that thing's will never be the same again. But another part of her knew that it was never to late for second chances, it was gonna be a long road ahead for the young mare but she knew Vinyl wouldn't want her to give up on her life so easily. She had to be strong for Vinyl and that as a major must.

"I'll try Twilight" She said. " I'll try"

"Thank you my friend" Twilight replied before bringing her friend back into a hug which she quickly returned.

After a moment Octavia finally calmed down and a hopeful smile appeared on her face. Knowing that she still had a friend there to comfort her gave her hope that it isn't too late for second chances. After a few minutes both friends got out of the embrace and Octavia spoke again.

"Thank you Twilight, that's just what I needed" Octavia said with a smile.

"It's no problem old friend" Twilight replied. " I always have my friends back's whenever they're sad or feeling left out"

"Hehe and that's why Celestia crowned you the Princess of Friendship" Octavia chuckled earning a chuckle from Twilight as well.

"Thank's Octy" Twilight replied earning a small look from Octavia from being called her nickname that only Twilight and Vinyl know.

"Say uh, my friends and I are gonna grab some dinner at hayburger, wanna come along?" Twilight asked

" I don't know Twilight" Octavia said nervously." Your friend's were at the funeral as well, plus Pinkie and Dash are fans of Vinyl as well. I don't think I'll be welcomed at any restaurant without then tainting my food"

"Don't worry I'll have your back all the way" Twilight said with a smile. " The one thing about my friend's is that they're quick to give second chances and to not hold a grudge, just trust me I'll put in a good word for you with them, the customers, and the owner of the establishment. And if anything goes wrong me and my friend's will back you up, I promise"

Octavia then thought for a moment, touched that her friend would defend her from everyone who hated her for what she's done and said to Vinyl. But she knew that no one would dare to mess with a princess especially the prized student of Princess Celestia herself. After a few seconds she made her decision.

"Well, ok what the hell I'll come along" Octavia said with a smile.

"Awesome, thanks Octy" Twilight replied with a smile of her own.

"No thank YOU for being here with me old friend" Octavia replied. " Just let me go upstairs and fix up my hair and I'll be down shortly"

"Sound's good buddy, I'll be down hear waiting" Twilight said.

With that Octavia then went upstairs to fix up her hair before heading out to dinner with her friend. This day's events have been rather dark and gloomy for herself and everyone of Vinyl's loved ones and while it seemed nearly impossible for everything to go back to normal at first, but she knew it was never too late try and make things right no matter how long it takes she knew everyone will eventually forgive her and hopefully she will learn to forgive herself.

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay guy's, I had a IRL project I was working on as well and I got kinda sidetracked with the story.:twilightblush:

But anyway guy's here's my first non Anon a Miss story. I must say I am super happy with how this turned out:pinkiehappy: I actually had this idea in my head for quite a while but I never got a chance to write it down, until now:heart:

Now for the longer explanation from page ones authors note. Once again I don't hate Octavia and this story is not and I repeat NOT me bashing on her. You see when I first saw the I am Octavia fan animation year's ago, I was visibly shocked and surprised at Octavia for harshly ending her friendship with Vinyl over the phone all because she couldn't make it to her concert. Cause when you look back at it it wasn't all vinyl's fault as Octavia knew her friend has a busy schedule as well, and the ending of the animation felt incomplete to me. As we never got a chance to see the aftermath of Vinyl's fate or if Octavia felt bad about saying that and went home to apologize to her. The ending really shocked me with Vinyl calling out to Octavia, after seeing that for the first time I was terrified at the thought of Vinyl going through a deep depression or worse become suicidal at the fact that she might have lost her best friend forever due to her bust schedule, especially since the tag said " Will Vinyl and Octavia ever be friends again?"

I'm not criticizing the creator of the animation, It was her decision to make the ending like that and I respect it:twilightsmile: I hope she makes a sequel in the future showing the aftermath:heart:

Anyways guy's I hope you enjoyed the story, give me your honest opinion's and let me know how I did and I should have the next story started hopefully before the end of may. until then see ya around folks:pinkiehappy:

Sidenote: know the animation tion probably took place before Twilight became an alicorn, but nothing wrong with a little imagination:heart: