With a Knowledge of Everyting...

Chapters

Interviewing
Mare in the Moon Part 1
Mare in the Moon Part 2
A Mishap
Griffin the Brush-off
Who you gonna call?
A Trip to the Land of Souls
A Zebra and Some Poison Joke Pt. 1
A Glimpse of My Future
A Zebra and Some Poison Joke Pt. 2
Something's not right (rewritten)
A way back to Equestria

Interviewing

A/N:From your previous comments, I have decided to slow down the pace of this.I have no idea how this whole thing will work out, but we'll get there when we get there.

Interviewing

"WHAT!?" I shout, standing up and glaring at her. I somehow forget her timid nature. How could she not be here?I mean, doesn't she live in that library/tree? I wince in pain as my arm is slightly moved around in my sling.

"I'm sorry! It's just that nopony new in town has arrived since a few weeks ago! Just please don't hurt me!" She says quickly, probably outmatching Pinkie's speed a tad. She throws her forelegs over her head in case I would hit her. I see a bit of tears streaking down her face. Great, now I feel like a jerk. First of all, I would never hit a girl (or a mare for that matter) . Secondly, I'm not very violent by nature. Intimidating a little, but not violent.

I draw in a deep breath. Inhale...Exhale.Good!Now go talk to her. "Sorry Flutters, it's okay if I call you Flutters, right?" she nods, "Okay. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just that I thought she would be in town. Why isn't she though?" I ask, raising a questioning eyebrow. I sit down to rest my sore legs. The reason them being sore is weighlifting, which somehow includes jogging everyday for eight minutes. The other I just ran through the forest being chased by wooden wolves. So yeah, pretty sore. I'm getting off track here.

"I've never seen or heard of a Twi-wait, how would you know her?" she asks, raising an eyebrow in my direction. Damn it, It's either I explain the internet and T.V. or come up with a quick lie. With limited choices and a short amount of time, I choose the lie. Hey at least it isn't Applejack I'm talking too. She could tell when I wasn't telling the truth. Thank God. Or Celestia. I'm getting new to the terms here.

"Uh w-well I thought everyo-everypony knew Princess Celestia's star student," I say quickly. Nice excuse there bro. Not now brain. Although I knew she was gonna find out later, I thought I might save it for later.

"I thought you said you weren't from around here," she said,still pressing on. Dang she's good. Oh well. Might as well get it over with.

"You want the short or long version?"

She brought a hoof to her chin and looked off into the distance."Hmm...the short.I mean if that's okay with you," she said nervously. Hiding behind her mane, it took quite a bit of willpower for me to not laugh.

"Okay, so..."

I told her a bit about how she was on a T.V. show for little kids. When I said kids, she thought I meant baby goats.WRONG! I then told her about how we sometimes call our children "kids". After about five minutes, she finally understood. I continued how there were a lot of things about herself and the others. Now, I'm not a face reader, but when I got on the facts of her life and stuff, she seemed a little surprised by all the facts. I left out certain things from the internet, and yes you know what I mean. By the end of my little story, I saw the sun setting in the distance and the sky turning a brilliant shade of orange, red and purple.

"Oh man. Hey do you mind if I stay here for the night. It's getting pretty late," I asked, stifling a pretty big yawn.

"Oh gosh, I forgot to feed my animals!" she exclaimed while jumping down from the couch. She dashed into the kitchen while grabbing a bag of feed from a shelf. She spoke pretty clearly through the bag in her mouth. "Do you mind if you help me feed them? You can stay in the guest bedroom that's down the hall."

"I don't see why not. The least I can do for letting me stay."

It was a little difficult trying to hold the bag with one hand and only worse trying to tip it without dropping it. The main problem was getting Angel to comply. I know.Big surprise right? But in the end, we got it done.

As we headed upstairs, Fluttershy showed me the guest room and then headed off to her room. The guest room was pretty simple. It had a bed that looked large enough for me to sleep in, a dresser with a mirror attached to it, and a small window looking out at the forest. I decided I'd try to at least take off my shirt. Difficult but not impossible, I got it done with a few grunts and winces of pain. I'm about ready to crawl in bed and fall asleep when I get the feeling of being watched. Wanting to have a bit of fun, I ask out loud,"You know it's rude to spy on others, right Flutters?"

With an "Eep!" as a response, I chuckle sliding into my bed. There's no way she can like like that already.Or does she? My thoughts drift away into the sea of memories as I slip into unconsciousness.

I awaken from a dreamless sleep to the smell of bananas, a tickling sensation on my face, and being held down. 'Mom must be cooking some of her delicious banana bread. That stuff is awesome. But what's tickling my face? And why can't I move?' Slowly opening my eyes, my vision is filled with yellow and pink, but mostly pink. Confused by the sudden colors, I attempt to get up, only to find my arms are restricted. I look down from my position to see...

...Fluttershy, cuddling me with a heart-melting smile. Normally I'd be freaked out by this, but since I just realized I'm still in Equestria, I let it slide. Dang these ponies are strong. I also frown a little realizing there's no banana bread, but it's Flutters who smells a bit like bananas.

"Hey, uh Fluttershy? It's time to wake up," I whisper, gently shaking her. She stirs a bit, but remains sleeping. I shake her a bit harder, in which she starts to open her eyes. She looks around a bit before her eyes fall on me. I glance down to signal for her to look down also. She looks down and her eyes widen as her face turns to a crimson. With an "Eep!" as a response, she quickly flies out of bed and tries to hide her face with her hooves.

"Oh my gosh! I'm sorry if I was invading your personal space! I swear it won't happ-!" I cut her off with a raised hand.

"Relax. It's no big deal. Nothing to get embarrassed about," I said calmly. She seemed to relax and float to the ground, though the blushing and wing boner didn't leave yet. "So, what's for breakfast?"

"Oh, well I was meaning to ask you. Are you carnivores, or herbivores. But...you don't have to tell me...if that's alright with you," She said, getting quieter to the end.

"Well, my species is omnivorous. But since I'm here, I guess I'll change to herbivore. You know, safety issues," I say. Flutters gave a quick nod and trotted downstairs. I attempt to get out of bed, but apparently, standing up involves both shoulders. It takes a while, but I complete the task. I walk over to where I left my shirt and attempt to put it on. It's even harder than last night, but in the end I did it. Painfully. 'Okay, time for a senses test. Sight-' Before I continue, I'd like to say that I'm able to blur my own vision, and when everything is clear, I see more details. Anyways, '-check. Smell...still horrible as always. I mean 'check!' Hearing-' I hear Fluttershy humming and woodland creature noises. '-check. Taste...we'll get to that.

With that done, I head downstairs. I see many animals running around and others eating. I see Angel from across the room, holding a carrot in it's paw, not eating it. I give a signal for him, in which he replies with a carrot being thrown at me. In all normality, it wouldn't hurt, but he's got some pretty good aim since it hit me in the eye.

"Ow! Seriously Angel?! You could at least be nice to a guest," I say, cupping my face with my good hand. He looks a bit surprised from how I know his name since it was never mentioned before. My eye tears up a bit from the pain, but I quickly wipe it away. He shook his head to rid the confusion and continue glaring at me. I roll my eyes and continue to the kitchen. I see Flutters holding a pan in her mouth and flipping some giant pancakes. I walk over to a seat and sit down, waiting for Flutters to finish. Eventually, she does and puts the pancakes on a plate and turns it off. She turns around and jumps a few inches in the air, almost dropping the food.

"Oh! It's just you Christian. I didn't hear you walk in. You know you can be very quiet," she says through a plate of pancakes. It must be pretty difficult to do that.

"No worries. I've heard that a lot. It's strange, especially for my weight. So... are those normal pancakes?" I asked, pointing at the mound of delicious food.

"Yes they are.How many would you like?"

"Hmm. Maybe three," I said. My stomach growled in protest. "Make it four." Let's see if I really do eat only four...

"Sweet baby Jesus! These are delicious! You're a really good cook Flutters," I proclaim, finishing my ninth pancake in the last five minutes. I lean back and let the food digest in my stomach while rubbing my belly. The pain from the earlier incident with Angel fading away. Fluttershy looked amazed at how much I had eaten.

"Oh, why thank you. Do you normally eat that much that quickly?" Flutters asked. By now she was half-way through on her second pancake.

"Only when I've been hungry for a really long time, or the food is great. Which in this case, it's both."

"Well thanks. Who is Jesus? Was he a famous human?"

I recall what I had said in the last minute. "I guess you could say he's famous. Let's just say that he was important for may people's lives."

"Was he important to yours?"

"I guess. Kinda. Say, wanna tour the town with me? Don't I have to see it sometime?"

"I don't know. Everypony will be a little scared by you. But we can go... if you want to I mean," she said while hiding behind her mane. 'D'awww, so cute! Never change!'

"Sure let's go," I said, bringing my plate to the kitchen to wash. Flutters does the same with her plate and we head outside. The day was beautiful, not too warm or cold, not many clouds in the sky. "It sure is a beautiful day Flut-Oof!" I manage out before the wind is knocked out of my lungs and my vision is filled with rainbow and blue. My arms are swung around wildly and the bad arm is the one I landed on. I've got a feeling who this is.

"You stay away from her you monster!" comes a scratchy female voice. Yep it is her.

"Oh my gosh! Rainbow can you please get off of him?" Fluttershy quietly shouted. That was a bit weird to say. Y'know, "quietly shout"? I'm getting off topic.

'I should of seen that coming. It's not like I'm already in enough pain,' I think to myself as I smack the dust off of me with my good arm. I try sitting up, only for my right arm to burn up in pain. I let out a pained scream before falling back down. I can see Fluttershy thinking about how to help, and Rainbow watching me cautiously. Might as well get it done with.

"Hi there! You seem to have hurt me more! You're mane is more than two colors! I'm not a monster! I'm stating the obvious now!" I shouted. I tried making a joke out of the situation to dull the pain. It worked a little, but not a whole lot.

"You can talk?!" Rainbow asked, mouth agape. I swear if it were any bigger, her jaw would unhinge.

"Eeyup."

Dammit brain. Not yet.

"Wait, what did you just say?"

"Yep?"

"Alright, well I'm Rainbow Dash! The best flier in all of Equestria! And you are?"

"Well, I'm Christian, the human. As you probably have already seen, I walk on two legs and don't have a lot of fur."

"Okay? Fluttershy?" Flutters looked up to see her friend. "You make sure he doesn't get in trouble, okay?" Flutters nodded. With her answer, Rainbow flew off to a close cloud and fell asleep. Or at least she made it look like she did. I knew when she fell asleep on clouds and that didn't look like it.

"She's gonna be watching us, you know that right?" Flutters just looked plain confused. "Alright, so let's get going. Mind helping me up?"

Fluttershy walked behind me and started pushing me up from behind, while I was using the strength I could muster into my two legs and left arm. Eventually, we did it and then we started walking towards Ponyville.

Once we made it to the first few buildings, A few ponies started showing up. Their reactions were typical: scared, frightened, disgusted, and many more. I saw a few of the background ponies, like Berry punch, Carrot Top, Ditzy Doo, Bon Bon, and... oh God Lyra. 'Wait, why am I creeped out? Nothing's wrong with Lyra.' I asked myself. The only one who approaches me is Lyra, of course.

"Um, excuse me, but are those hands?" Lyra asks.

I stick up one of my hands and wiggle the fingers. "What, this?" she nods,"why of course it is! Might I ask why you're interested?"

"Well you see, I'm pretty much the only pony who knows what a hand is, and I just wanted to see if it was," she said matter-of-factly. By now she was as excited as a school filly.

"I understand completely. Now run along and meet with your friend."

With that, she ran over to Bon Bon, who had a worried expression on her face. I saw Fluttershy with yet another confused expression.

"You know, you look cute confused," I said trying to snap her out of confusion. She shook her head and looked at me, trying to process what I just said. A few seconds later, her face turned a bright crimson and she hid behind her mane. I chuckled, "Relax Flutters. I'm just kidding."

She seemed to relax a bit, her cheeks becoming less red, but she seemed a little disappointed. I frown thinking, 'Wow. She really does like me that way.' I shake my head ridding it of those thoughts. "Well let's get this tour done, okay?" I ask. She nods. Let's see what Ponyville is like...

One tour of a town later...

Well, Ponyville seems exactly as it does in the show. It's about 2-3 handegg(It's called football in America) fields long and wide, and Pinkie attacked me within the first few minutes of the tour. Let's do a quick recap.

I was walking along side Fluttershy. I get attacked by a pink blob known as Pinkie. She talks really fast, and I somehow understood every single word. She planned a 'Welcome to Equestria!' party for me. and then left my sights in about .42 seconds.

"So Flutters..." I begin as we start down the path to her cottage. "When's the Summer Sun Celebration?"

"Well, if I remember correctly, then it should be tomorrow."

"Really now? If I remember correctly, then that means somepony special will arrive soon," I reply.

"Really? Oh! That reminds me that I need to help practice my birds for the celebration!" She quietly shouted (again, haha). She then ran off to the outskirts of town.

'Typical. Now where is that unicorn? As if my prayers have been answered, I hear the sound of beating wings. I turn around and see a golden chariot flying in.

Mare in the Moon Part 1

Mare in the Moon Part 1

I back up slowly from the carriage as the two Royal Guards eye me warily. I make an audible gulp as the take a step closer me. Well, might as well introduce myself.

"Um, hi?"

The guards back up a few steps, taking the carriage with it. Their eyes are wide with fear and their mouths are agape. I hear a gasp come from both of them, and a male voice coming from the carriage.

"Hey guards? Why did we move backwards?" came the voice. Wait a second, I know that voice! I walk around the dumbfounded guards and the carriage, and am greeted by a lavender unicorn with a darker purple mane with a pink stripe, and a purple and green dragon. Excuse me, baby dragon. As they both lay eyes on me, the dragon's face is as equally confused as the guards, while the unicorn's is a mixture. Shock? Astonishment? Fear? Excitement? It could be any of them.

"Um, hi?" I repeat. The two back up, then the unicorn speaks up.

"H-hello there. I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is Spike, my assistant. What in Equestria are you?" she says, carefully taking a step forward. I put on a face of fake shock and put the hand of my good arm on the chin my open mouth.

"Why you've never heard of me? Everypony in Ponyville has heard of me!" I put my hand down take away the look on my face. "Nah, I'm just messing with ya'. I just arrived here today. I'm not from around here."

By now the guards have gotten over the shock of a new creature in town and have gotten their harnesses off, weapons at the ready. Twilight stops their approach with a raised hoof.

"Wait. I want to learn about this creature," she says while lowering her hoof. I'm taken aback a bit her choice of words. "Thank you sirs," she says to the guards. With that, they put their weapons away, put the harness back on, and fly off to the giant city on the mountain. I stare where they're heading for a while until my attention is turned to a lavender unicorn. She studies my shape for a while before looking me in the eyes. It gets a little awkward, so I break the silence.

"So..." I began.

"So... what are you?" she asks, raising an eyebrow and taking a quill and piece of parchment out of nowhere. Oh no.

"Listen, I know you wanna perform experiments and take notes on my life, but yoou can call me Christian for now. So can we get to why you're here?" I say, hoping she'll agree.

"But... okay. We can do that later. Oh, and I'm here to supervise the Summer Sun Celebration. In case you didn't know, It's when we watch the Princess raise the sun, and it's the longest day of the year. And I'm also here so I can make some 'friends'," she said while raising her hooves to emphasize on the word.

"Cool. Look here come one of the ponies that live here," I said pointing at Pinkie Pie. She was happily trotting down the path Twilight, Spike and I were standing on. I waved to her, she waved back and then walked up to Twilight with her contagious smile. Spike, seeming to finally snap out of his trance, spoke up.

"Y-yeah. Maybe the ponies here have something interesting to say! Come on Twilight, just try!" he said, putting his claws up to Pinkie.

Twilight gave a nervous smile. "Uh, hello?". Pinkie activated her brain and realized that, even though she knew everypony in town, she didn't know this one! Which means there's a new pony was in town! That meant that she probably lost some from friends! That must mean she's lonely! That must mean she doesn't have any fun! That means another party needs for a new pony to be thrown!

That all took about .42 seconds.

With a loud *GASP* and a jump to the air, Pinkie took off to Celestia knows where. Twilight stood there confused, Spike a little disappointed, and me? I was smiling, knowing that she was going to do that of course. Twilight noticed my smile and look even more confused. She shook it off and gave a look of being unamused.

"Well that was interesting alright," she said with a roll of her eyes. Spike sighed and hunched over, arms hanging limp. We all three started walking towards Sweet Apple Acres. How could I tell? I could see it in the distance. Oh I knew this day was going to be a long one.

" 'Summer Sun Celebration Official Overseer's checklist!" Spike said, holding a quill and parchment. "Number 1: banquet preparations, Sweet Apple Acres!" We walked through the gate. Well the other two walked, while I had to crouch a bit. Seems empty. I wonder where any of the Apple Fam-

"YEEHAW!"

We all stop and look over to see an orange earth pony wearing a Stetson hat galloping towards a tree. Right before running into it, she stopped, did a 180, and kicked with her hind legs. The tree shook by the force of the kick, loosening all of the apples, and then falling into the five baskets conveniently located around the tree. Impressed with her work, she held her head high, eyes closed, and put on foreleg over the other like someone would with their feet.

"*sigh* Let's get this over with," Twilight mumbled while holding her head low. Spike and I followed closely. We walked up to her as Twilight spoke first.

"Good afternoon. My name is Twilight Sparkle," she said with a smile. He face quickly contorted into pain as Applejack furiously shook he hoof like it was nothing.

"Well, howdy do Miss Twilight! A pleasure meetin' your acquaintance! Ah'm Applejack. We 'ere at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin' new friends!" she said proudly.

"F-friends? A-a-actually I-I-I..." Twilight said between stutters of being shaken so hard.

"So, what can Ah' do ya for?" Applejack said as she took her hooves away. Twilight, closing her eyes thinking they would pop out, was still shaking her hoof vigorously. Spike took action and stopped her hoof and backed away, Trying to stifle his snicker. I admit, even though I'm pretty good at keeping a straight face, I laughed a bit too. Applejack noticed my presence and got into a defensive stance. "And what in tarnation are you?"

"Relax. I'm not going to hurt you. So Twilight, what were you going to say?" Applejack relaxed a bit, but still kept an eye on me.

"Oh right," Twilight said, getting rid of her glare for us. She cleared her throat and spoke again. "Well, I'm here to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. And you're in charge of the food?" she asked Applejack.

"We sure as sugar are! Would ya care ta sample some?" She asked while leaning closer to Twilight,

"As long as it doesn't take too long," she said as Apple jack dashed off to a rusty, old triangle. She hit multiple times before shouting, "Soup's on, everypony!"

I heard many hoof beats before turning around. I looked and some many ponies of many colors stampeding towards a gazebo. With my quick wits, I run as fast as I can to a nearby tree. Spike and Twilight weren't as fast as me though, so they got caught in the trampling and were put in front of a table under the gazebo. I decide to walk over and join the group. A few of the ponies are ones I remember seeing around the town. Applejack appeared next to the dizzy unicorn and dragon.

"Now, why don't Ah introduce ya'll to the Apple family."

"Thanks, but I really need to hur-" Twilight was cut off by a apple fritter appearing in front of her face. AJ continued to say the name of her relatives.

"This 'ere's Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple," by now, there are so many names I just zoned out for a bit. Applejack sure does have a lot of relatives. My thoughts were interrupted by Applejack gasping for air. "Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom, and-" she stuck a green apple in Twilight's mouth, "-Granny Smith! Up and at 'em, Granny Smith! We got guests!" The green old mare was sleeping in a rocking chair with her front hooves on parts that were too long, which was probably the purpose of them. Se awoke with a snort and looke around before her eyes stopped on Twilight.

"Huh-oh-wha-? Oh, soup's on! I'm up, I'm up," she mumbled, slowly making her way towards us.

Applejack gave Twilight a pat on the back before saying, "Why, Ah'd say they're already part o' the family." Twilight spit out the apple she was force fed by AJ.

"Ack! Haha. Okay, I see the food situation is handled, so we'll be on our way!" Twilight says. Everypony looks at her in disbelief and a cute little voice speaks up.

"Aren't ya gonna stay fer brunch?" Apple Bloom asks with puppy dog eyes so cute, I may need to see a doctor and check for diabetes. So, I made a joke out of it.

"Hnnnggg!" I exclaim, grabbing my chest. Everybody looks at me in panic before I say, "It's... too... cute!" Everybody breathes a sigh of relief, and some even chuckle. Twilight speaks up to break the silence.

"Sorry, but we have an awful lot to do," she says sadly. Everybody gives an "Aww" and looks at the ground. Twilight looks worried for a second and then rolls her eyes. "Fine."

Everypony starts cheering and then the feasting begins.

We start walking towards Ponyville, Spike looking full and happy, me feeling full and happy, and Twilight looking like she's about to explode and looks a bit miserable.Spike speaks up.

"Food's all taken care of, now next is weather," he says, checking off a box on the checklist.

"Ugh, I think I ate too much pie." She says, head hanging low. I swear, she would've looked pregnant if I didn't know she ate an entire buffet.

"Hmm. There's supposed to be a pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds," he says looking in the sky. I look up too. Do I hear a faint whistling noise? Twilight also looks up and looks around. Yep, definitely something flying through the air.

"Well, she's not doin-" I cut her off before she finishes.

"Get down," I say sternly, running out of the way. Am I healing quicker here? Because my arm isn't hurting so much anymore.

"What do you mea-" she was cut off by a flurry of colors crashing into her. They both land in a convenient mud puddle that splashed the spot I used to be standing in. Rainbow Dash looks at what she just crashed in and gave a sheepish smile.

"Heh heh. Uh, excuse me?" she says, leaning closer to get a better look at Twilight. Their both covered in mud and Twilight looks even more miserable. Rainbow laughs a bit more before saying, "Here, let me help you." She flies of and goes to get a darker looking cloud. She brings it right over Twilight and starts repeatedly jumping on it. A torrent of water falls on Twilight as the cloud becomes a light gray, then a white. She looks down at her progress and laughs at a waterlogged Twilight. "Oops. I guess I overdid it. Um, uh, how about this!" She starts to fly around Twilight so fast, it makes a rainbow tornado. "My very own patented," she stops flies a few feet away from me. "Rainblow Dry! No no, don't thank me. You're quite welcome."

She looks over to Twilight to admire her work, but before her stands a purple unicorn with a giant puple and pink afro for a mane. She tries to keep her laughter in, but fails miserably and falls on the ground laughing like a maniac. Spike notices this too and joins Rainbow Dash. Me, although finding the situation a bit funny, blur my vision to not see everything clearly, put on my best straight face, and walk over to pat Twilight on the shoulder.

"Don't be mad Twilight. I don't find it fun-"

"How are you doing that?" she asks staring into my eyes.

"Doing what?"

"Your eyes. They're golden now. I mean the part that used to be brown."

"What do you mean?" I'm pretty confused by now. Never have I been told my eyes are gold. They're usually a dark brown that is almost too dark to differ it from the pupil. She pulls out a mirror out of nowhere. I hold it up to my face and am met by the blurred outline of my head. I look closer and, sure enough, I see a hint of gold. I quickly un-blur my vision and and pull the mirror away. Everything is more detailed for a few seconds, then goes back to how I saw eveything before. By now, Spike and Rainbow have stopped laughing and were looking confused. Heck, I was too.

"How did you do that?" Twilight repeats.

"I don't know. To me, I'm just blurring my vision, and when I do, I've never been told my eyes turn golden."

"Well anyways, I'm Rainbow Dash! The fastest flier in all of Equestria!" Yep, sure sounded like her.\

"Really? I've heard that you're supposed to be keeping the sky clear," twilight says with a groan. She sighs, "I'm Twilight Sparkle. The Princess sent me to check on the weather."

Rainbow flies up to a cloud and lays on it like she's about to take a nap. "Yeah yeah, that'll be a snap! I'll do it in a jiffy, just as soon as I'm done practicing."

"Practicing for what?" I think I know.

"The Wonderbolts!" Rainbow shouted, pointing at a poster that said "Wonderbolts! Will be presented at the Summer Sun Celebration!" It showed a drawn picture of three Wonderbolts sitting proudly, while four more flew ovehead. I knew it I called it first! Rainbow continued her rant of their awesomeness. "They're gonna perform at the celebration tomorrow, and I'm gonna show the my stuff!"

"The Wonderbolts?" Twilight asks.

"Yep!"

"The most talented fliers in all of Equestria?"

"That's them!"

"*Pfft* Please. They'd never accept a pegasus who can't keep the sky clear for one measly day!" Twilight says with a smug grin.

Rainbow was now looking down from her cloud at Twilight. "Hey. I can clear the sky in ten seconds flat!"

"Prove it," Twilight said, narrowing her eyes. Rainbow looked offended and I swear I could see determination in her eyes. I knew this would be a perfect opportunity to prove that theory, so I start counting in my head. One... Rainbow start flying towards the nearest clouds and starts bucking them. Two... She's zipping across the sky, kicking and punching clouds. Three... She's adding tricks, like loops, corkscrew, and dives. Five... She starts announcing her stunts, like saying, "And loop da' loop around and BAM!" Ten. Well that proves that theory.

"Hey, would you look at that! It was ten seconds," I say. I'm easily impressed by her actions of sky clearing, especially in such a small amount of time.

"What did I tell ya? Ten. Seconds. Flat. I'd never leave Ponyville hanging," she looks over at Twilight, who's mouth was open in astonishment. She starts laughing at the face she's making and says, "You should see the look on your face! HA! You're a laugh Twilight Sparkle. I can't wait to hang out some more. Se ya later Christian!" Twilight snaps out of it as she says that.

"Wow!" Spike exclaimed as Rainbow flew away. "She's amazing!" He picks up a part of her mane and starts bouncing it around. He tries to stifle a laugh, but fails. I also can't help but laugh a little. Twilight walks away with a mad look on her face. "Wait! It's kinda pretty one you get used to it." We start walking towards the Town Hall. Oh boy, I bet I know who's here.

"Decorations!" Spike looks up from the checklist he was checking off. "Beautiful," he says in a hypnotized voice. All around the room, there were sparkling banners and streamers everywhere. We start walking towards the stage of the Town Hall.

"Yes the decor is coming along nicely," Twilight says. I'm just admiring at how shiny everything is. "This 'oughta be quick. I'll be at the library in no time. Beautiful indeed."

"Not the decor, her!" Spike points at a white unicorn with a curly indigo mane that seems to have taken forever to put in that do. She lifts up many different colored ribbons ranging from yellow, to blue, to green.

"No, no, no, oh heavens no! Hmm," she continues completely ignoring us. I look over to Spike to see his reaction. Did I just see is eyes turn into hearts?He adjusts the spines around what I guess would be his ears and would-be hair if he were like humans at all.

"How are my spines? Are they straight?" he asks worryingly. I swear I see hearts floating out of him. Twilight rolls her eyes and walks up to Rarity.

"Good afternoon, I-" she's cut off as Rarity raises a hoof. How many times is she going to be cut off today? The world may never know.

"Just a minute darling, I'm in the zone, as it were," she says, picking up more ribbons. She finally finds a large red on and ties it into a bow.(No, like a shoelace!) "Oh yes! Sparkle always does the trick, does it not? Why Rarity, you are a talent. Now, um, how can I help yo-AGGHH! Oh my stars, darling! What ever did happen to your cheveux?" she asked as her eyes laid on Twilight's hilariously styled mane.

"You mean my mane? Well, it's a long story. I'm just here to check on the decorations, then I'll be out of your hair!" Twilight said, waving a dismissive hoof.

"Out of my hair? What about you hair?" she asks, walking over to Twilight.

"Wait! Where are we going?! Help!" Twilight screams. Spike somehow levitates into the air, and uses the tip of his tail as a propeller. I swear, Spike is the strangest dragon I've ever seen. For now at least. I follow them to wherever we're going. I'm betting 5 bits it's the Carousel Boutique.

You owe me 5 bits now. Anyways along the way, Rarity asks me, "I've never seen such a creature like you before! Do you always wear clothes?" I nod. "Well then, I must make you a new set of clothes for you to wear." I was about to argue about getting stuff from people and not paying them back, but, like in all fan-fictions say she would persist, I decided against it.

Inside the boutique, it looks like any normal clothing store would. Rarity keeps switching outfits on Twilight as if she were a mannequin.

"No, no, no, uh uh, too green, too yellow, too poofy, not poofy enough! Too frilly, too shiny," after about a dozen more designs, she finally found one that looked like a fancy, small saddle that was covered in gems. "Now go on, my dear. You were telling me where you're from." She reached out with her mouth (again with the mouth!) and pulled back on the straps as strong as she could. By the look on Twilight's face, it looked she was pulling too tight and she might die of suffocation, her eyes larger than normal.

"I've... been sent... from Canterlot... to- HUH?" each word getting weaker, due to suffocation, until Rarity let go of the straps sending Twilight across the room. I looked at Spike, still in his love entranced state. I rolled my eyes, then continued listening the two mares' conversation.

"Canterlot?! Oh I'm so envious! The glamor, the sophistication! Oh, I've always dreamed of living there! I can't wait to hear all about it! We're gonna be the best of friends, you and I!" Rarity said, stepping up to Twilight, so close, it was too-close-for-comfort. Twilight, with her look of surprise, knew what that meant. Rarity looked down at the clothes Twilight was wearing. "Emerald?! What was I thinking? Let me get you some rubies!" With that, Rarity ran off to a different part of her store.

"Quick! Before she decides to dye my coat a new color!" Twilight shouted running out the door. Spike gave a sigh of happiness. I pondered on what to do next for a few second. I poked my shoulder to see if it was done healing. Fortunately, it was, so I took off the sling and gauze, putting the sling in my pocket and gauze in the nearest trash can.

"Come on buddy, time to go," I said to Spike. With no response from his trance, I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder like I would a sack of potatoes, and walked out the door of the boutique.

I'm pretty sure we're far away enough so we won't be seen by the fashionista for a while. I put Spike on Twilight's back, which she didn't seem to mind at all. Even though he's a baby dragon, he weighs a bit more than my six year old sister.

"Wasn't she wonderful?" Spike asked while coming out of his trance.

"Focus casanova, what's next on the list?" Twilight asked.

"Ahem, oh, uh, music! It's the last one!"

Twilight seemed grateful for that, and I did too a little. My feet were killing me.I hear a tune being whistled (Note: since I don't know what they were whistling, I put this here because I like to whistle to it) We walk forward though some bushes and come upon a canary yellow pegasus that's conducting a tree of birds. One seem to not be tweeting it correctly.

"Oh my! Um, stop please everyone," she flies up to the failing bird. "Um, excuse me sir? I mean, no offense, but your rhythm is just a teeny-tiny bit off." The bird nods in understanding, and Fluttershy flies back to her spot. "Now, follow me please. A one, a two, a one two three-"

"Hello!" Twilight exclaims, walking out of the bushes. I face-palm remembering she was going to do that. Fluttershy's birds fly away and she becomes frightened as well. She looks at the newcomer and lowers to the ground. "Oh my. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to frighten your birds. I'm just here to check up on the music, and it sounded beautiful!" Twilight says without forcing any of it. Fluttershy paws at the ground a bit, and Twilight has a worried smile as she looks at our spot, then back at us. "I'm Twilight Sparkle. What's your name?"

"Um, I'm Fluttershy," she says quietly, just audible for me to hear.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Um, my name isFluttershy," she says again quietly.

"Didn't quite catch that," Twilight says, taking a step forward.

Fluttershy takes a step back and makes this adorable little whimper. Must... not... have... heart attack. Deciding to take action, I step out of the bush.

"Fluttershy, don't you know it's rude to not accept ponies' comments?" I say playfully. She notices me and darts behind my legs. "Heh. Sorry Twilight. She's a bit shy around new ponies." By now, the birds have flown back onto the tree, ready to practice some more. "Hey Spike! Why don't come out and say hello to Fluttershy?" Oh, I know how this is going to end.

Spike steps out cautiously and takes a look at Fluttershy, and vice versa. Fluttershy speaks up first. "*gasp* A baby dragon! I've never seen a baby dragon before! He's so cute!" Spike takes the compliment and looks over to Twilight.

"Well, well, well," he says as he crosses his arms.

"Oh my! He can talk! I didn't know dragons could talk. That's just so incredibly wonderful... I just don't even know what to say!" she says as she observes Spike. I hear a pang! noise and Spike's covered in a pink and sparkling aura. He's lifted over me and Fluttershy and placed on Twilight's back.

"Well, in that case, we better be going," Twilight says as she starts to walk away.

"Wait, wait! What's his name? Oh wait, it's Spike. Hi Spike, I'm Fluttershy. Wow, a talking dragon! And, what do dragon's talk about?"

"Well, what do you wanna know?"

"Absolutely everything!" Twilight let's out a groan of frustration at Fluttershy's answer and I pat her on the head, giving her a comforting smile.

"Don't worry Twi. I feel the same a bit too." Twilight gives me a thankful smile in response.

"Well, I started out a cute little purple and green egg," Spike starts.

"...And that's the story of my whole entire life! Well, up until today. Want to hear about today?" Spike asks Fluttershy.

"Oh yes please!" Fluttershy answers immediately. I notice we're in front of a large tree that has lots of windows and balconies.

"Hey you two. We're here," I interrupt them

"Yes, and this is where I'll be staying while in Ponyville, and my poor baby dragon needs his sleep," Twilight says.

"No I don't!" Spike retorts. Twilight catapults him into the air by bucking her hind legs, and he lands on his bottom.

"Aww, wook at dat. He's so sweepy, he can't even keep his wittle bawance," Twilight says to Spike like some one would say to a baby. Fluttershy swoops in and pinks him up into the air.

"You poor thing. You simply must get into bed!" she says before flying into the library. Twilight charges in and pushes Flutters out.

"Yes, yes. We'll get right on that. Well, good night!" Twilight says before slamming the door in Fluttershy's face. We both stand in front of the door for a while before I speak up.

"Let's go in through the back." She nods and we walk through. I hear Twilight and Spike talking together in the pitch black dark.

"-ightmare Moon is coming, and we're running out of time! I just need to be alone so I can study without a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time. Now where's the-" I interrupt her by clapping my hands twice. Clap, clap! Apparently, somepony knew what it meant, because the lights burst on and a loud "SURPRISE" was shouted by everyone in the building. I saw Twilight give a sigh and I walked over to her.

"Hey there."

"Oh, hi. Were you the one who made that sound?"

"Eeyup." I swear I thought somepony was watching me.

"Did you throw this party?"

"Nope. Pinkie Pie did."

"Who's that?"

"You know that pink mare we saw who did the loud gasp and ran away?"

"Oh you mean her?"

"Yep she ran away and threw this party for both me and you."

"Why both of us?"

"Well, it was originally for me, but then you showed up, so she combined the two. Here she is now."

"What? I don't see anyp-" Twilight was cut off by an explosion of confetti to the face and a whole lot of pink. Pink, pink everywhere.

"HiI'mPinkiePieandIthrewthispartyjustforyou!Ohandyoutomisteralienperson.Sowereyousurprised?Huh?Wereya?Wereya?Huhhuhhuh?" she said in one breath. Like I said before, I understood every word that spewed from her mouth.

"Yes, very surprised. Especially since libraries are supposed to be quiet!" Twilight said to the pink party pony.

"Hahasilly!Whatkindofwelcomepartywouldthisbeifitwerequiet?Imean,duh!Booorring!Yousee,Isawyouwhenyoufirstgothere,remember?Iwasall*GASP*runningrunning.Yousee,I'veneverseenyoubefore!AndifI'veneverseenyoubefore,thenthatmakesyounew!AndIknoweverypony,andImeaneveryponyinPonyville!Andifyou'renew,thanyouhaven'tmetanyoneyet.Andifyouhaven'tmetanyonyet,thanyoumustnothavefriends!Andifyoudon'thavefriends,thanthatmakesyoulonely!Andthatmademesosad,andthatgavemeanideawhichmademego*GASP*andthatideawastothrowagigantisuperduperwonderfulwelcomepartyandinviteeveryoneinPonyville!So now you can make lots and lots of friends!"

I saw Twilight pouring herself a goblet of hot sauce. "Confound these ponies, they drive you to drink, right?" she nodded. "Well, unless you want burning insides, I suggest you don't." She looks at me confused. I grab the bottle from her and let her read it. She wasn't paying attention to the label as she took a gulp of her spicy drink. As soon as her mind registered what she had done, I could tell it was too late. Her cheeks were bulging, face a burning red, and eyes soaked with tears.

"Are you alright sugarcube?"Applejack asked from the group of ponies behind us. I could feel the heat radiating off of Twilight as if she were about to explode. A second later, she jumped into the air, mane on fire, and dashed up the stairs.

"Congratulations, your Twilight Sparkle has evolved into Ponyta," I say to myself. Everypony looks at me in confusion. "It's a reference from my world." I decide to go check on Twilight after watching Pinkie pour somehot sauce on her third cupcake.

I found her in her bedroom with her head underneath the pillow.

"Hey Twi, what's wrong?"

"All the ponies in this town are CRAZY!" she exclaims with the pillow on her head. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Lemme guess. Hmm... night?" Twilight continues to glare at me. "Yeah i know what it is. It's the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration. Everypony in town has to stay up, or they'll miss the Princess raise the sun." Twilight stared at me in disbelief.

"How do you know all this stuff, Christian?"

Look's like number two is Twi. I sat down next to her and told exactly everything I told Flutteshy, again, keeping out certain stuff. This time, however, I kept away certain events of the future. I answered all the questions she had. By the time I was done, she had taken it the same way Fluttershy, understandingly. As soon as our talking was over, Spiike burst through with a lamp cap on his head.

"Come on you two. It's time to watch the sun rise!"

We both left and started heading for the town hall.

Pretty much he wholle town was inside the Town Hall by the time we got there. Pegasi flying above, ponies on the ground and in the balconies. I must say, the banners looked a whole lot better at night. I also like the dark for many reasons. A few being that it's cooler, it's harder for me to be seen, and it's also more beautiful for the stars, auroras, and the moon to be seen... What was I doing? Oh yeah the rising of the sun.

I hear the birds start the intro song and I say, it got me hype for this. The birds quieted down before a spotlight was shone on Mayor Mare.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts. As mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!" Everypony cheered a loud cheer. And I mean loud! My ears start to ring a bit. "In just a few moments, our town will witnes the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this the longest day of the year. And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of this land." I look at Twilight, who's staring at the sky through the windows. I look to the sky and notice the moon. It is larger than ours, but something's wrong. Didn't it have the shape of an alicorn head on it? Oh buck!

"The very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony of harmony to all of Equestria," I look to Twilight, who looks at me. I can tell we're thinking the same thing. "Princess Celestia!" the mayor shouts. Fluttershy's birds start singing, Rarity pulls back the curtain, and the spotlight lands on... nothing.

Everypony is chattering, but among them, I heat Twilight say, "This can't be good."

"Remain calm everypony," the mayor says to wuiet the uproar. "There must be a reasonable explanation."

"Ooh Ooh! I love guessing games!" Pinkie shouts. "Is she hiding?" she looks at her hooves, hopefully finding her there.

"She's gone!" Rarity exclaims from the balcony she stands on. Everyone makes a loud gasp in shock.

"Oh, she's good!" Pinkie says. Twilight and I see a mysterious purple mist crawl through where Celestia was supposed to be standing."Ahh!"

"Oh no!" Twilight whispers beside me. I stroke her mane to keep her calm. She looks at me and I give a supprting smile. We both look to the mist to see it moving all by itself. Then out of nowhere, A large dark alicorn covered some evil looking armor, her mane and tail the same as the mist. "Nightmare Moon," Twilight whimpers beside me. Spike faints and falls off her back.

"Oh, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since I've seen your precious, little, sun-loving faces," Nightmare Moon says.

"What did you do with our Princess?!" Rainbow shouts. She tries to charge her, but Applejack grabs her by the tail.

"Whoa there nelly!"

Nightmare gives a cackle that obviously belongs to someone evil. "Why? Am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am?"

"Ooh ooh ooh! More guessing games!" Pinkie says cheerfully. "Um, Hokey Smokes! How about Queen Meanie? No, Black Snooty! Black Snoot-!" Pinkie get's cut off by an apple to the mouth.

She flies up close to Fluttershy. "Does my crown no longer count now that I've been imprisoned for a thousand years?" She flies over to Rarity, somehow holding her chin with her mane. "Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?"

"I did," shouts Twilight.

"As did I," I join in.

"And we know who you are. You're The Mare in the Moon..." she begins.

"...Nightmare Moon." I finish. Everyone makes a gasp. I'm not sure if it was because there was an evil of legends in front of tham, or that I knew who she was.

"Well, well, well. Somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here?" Nightmare Moon asks.

"You're here to... to...," Twilight stops herself before going too far.

"You're here to bring eternal darkness because of jealousy," I finish for her.

"Who is this foul creature who defies me?" she asks, a small hint of anger in her voice.

"I..." I take a step forwards. "...am part nightmare too." Dammit brain, stop lying.

"How could you possibly be part nightmare to? You walk on two legs, you have little fur, and you seem childish. How could a creature like you ever possibly ever defeat me?" Well, now's my chance.

I take a few steps forwards, and make sure eyes are visible. "Hit me with your best shot and we'll see."

Her horn charges up, and I see a small electric shock run through it. I give a quick thanks to everyone and everypony in my life, to Celestia who brought me here, and to my family for raising me.

I see the lightnning bolt traveling torwards me. I do a quick memory thought process of my plan, then blur my eyes. I see the lightning bolt make contact.

Mare in the Moon Part 2

Mare in the Moon Part 2

Phoenix was in his room, watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. He doesn't know how, but his brother turned him into a fellow brony. It started a month ago, when they both went to Oklahoma to visit family by themselves. Around half of the vacation, his brother always was up earlier than him, with the T.V. on. What was on it? The current show he was watching. He tried to ignore it, but the sounds from the show, and whenever he watched little kids' shows with his sister, managed to get to him.

Somehow in the last two days, Christian had disappeared. Nobody knows what happened, and the only clues were his messed up room, an iPod that was on Youtube, and the loud noises heard the night before he was declared missing. The search lasted two days, only no trace of him anywhere. When his family was told that he was gone, everyone was in tears, or gloomy. Phoenix however, decided not to dread on it too long, and watched some more T.V. to get his mind off of things.

What he didn't expect was to find his brother in the show! It surprised him at first, then he got really jealous. I mean, what brony doesn't want to got to Equestria? He just went with the flow of his brother being in their favorite show. He found it pretty amusing for a few minutes, then he only started ruining a few of the surprises. The biggest part he found interesting was the part when his eyes turned golden.

He was getting a little antsy with what will happen, since it's the first episode and he has to deal with Nightmare Moon. He face-palmed when he was acting all brave. He saw Nightmare get a little angry, and his brother a little show-off like. Honestly, he was getting scared for his brother because he knew what she could do. His brother said "Hit me with your best shot" and she fired a lightning bolt right at him as soon as his eyes turned golden. It collided with his chest and sent him flying across the room, colliding into his favorite pony, Rainbow Dash.

'I don't know who I should feel sorry for, my brother, or the best pony,' he thought to himself. The screen faded and it soon popped back to life, saying, "To Be Continued." He quickly searches through the recordings of the show and plays the one that came right after.

I open my eyes to find myself staring at the ceiling with a few ponies staring at me, and a few pegasi floating above me. The only thing that really hurts is the back of my shoulders, most likely where I first landed. I feel something soft and fluffy on my left arm and look over to see Rainbow Dash struggling to get me off of her. She was in a position I can't describe that allowed her little movement.

"Ack! Get off of me!" she shouts. I comply by lifting my arm. She hovers a few feet from the ground a few feet and stares at me like I'm some kind of ghost. "Are you okay? Didn't that hurt?" I blink for a second, utterly confused. Then it hits me. Quite literally. A zapping sound lasts for a second, before I quickly blur my vision. A force knocks me in the head, an inch above my ear. It doesn't really hurt, more like a quick push from someone relatively strong. I turn my head to my attacker, who is standing there, mouth agape and eyes wide. I blur my vision (yet again) and feel as if my mind is being taken over. Pure hatred bubbles inside me as I feel my vocal cords tingle with a strange sensation. Then, like some angry blob of awesomeness, shout thee words that rival the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"Strun... Bah QO!"

The sky changes to an angry reddish orange, clouds forming outside, and raining cats, dogs, and parakeets. Yeah, it's that bad. A lightning bolt strikes Nightmare, in which she cries out in pain. Many pegasi fly away, hoping not to get hit by any lightning. When she regains her posture, she seems unharmed, which means the lightning was probably more like a pinch. A pinch so small, you have to use your fingernails. Those hurt a lot.

"How can this be?! You are but merely a legend! No matter, for even you cannot stop me from creating eternal night!" She says as she glares daggers, swords, maces, axes, basically anything that's a weapon. But I saw one thing I never thought someone as strong as her would ever think. Pain.

"Seize her! Only she knows where the Princess is!" Mayor Mare shouts. Three Royal Guard pegasi fly in a beeline for her. Nightmare Moon rears back on her hind legs, preparing to fend them off.

"Stand back you fools!" she shouts, eyes glowing to a blinding white. She gives an evil laugh as she strikes all three of them down with lightning. She covers herself into a mist that's the same color as her mane and flies out the front door, scattering ponies to run, fly, and even faint for their lives. Rainbow flies after the mist, which I'm guessing she's probably going to try beating it up.

After my little act, I start to feel a bit light-headed. I sit back down on the stone floor, attempting to regain my senses. I idly rub my neck to feel anything wrong with it. It feels as if the skin and muscles were replaced by stone. A weird fleshy stone while I'm at it. I breath a sigh of relief, thanking that my neck is not everywhere on the ground. The Mane 6, excluding Rainbow, run to my side.

"Oh my! Are you alright? Did you break anything? Are you-?" I cut off Fluttershy with a finger to her lips, which she started to blush slightly.

"I'm alright, Flutters. Although, I have no idea how I'm still alive. Maybe an idea..." I start rubbing my chin as if I had I goatee. Great, now I want one. I sit there for a minute, deciding if my theory is correct. My train of thought is derailed by Twilight.

"Well? What do you think it is?" She raised a questioning eyebrow. My response is turning my eyes gold. "Oh! I see now."

"Now why would ya go an' do that?!" Applejack shouted. "Ya coulda' killed yerself!"

"Because I'm a stupid idiot who acts then thinks. Also, I know what we need to do," I said giving a sly smile and say, "I know Twilight knows what to do." The mare who's name I just announced wore a confused face, obviously thinking of what I said. Then, like a light bulb turning on, she charged out of the door with Spike on her back.

"Where's she going?" Pinkie asked, completely confused. "Should we follow her?"

"Eeyup," I say. Applejack looks at me with a look mixed with confusion and suspicion. "I said, let's go!" I quickly jump up and was about to head out the door, when Rarity stopped me.

"Oh my heavens! Your shirt, darling! It's horrid!" she exclaimed in terror. I look down and, for the first time in a while, notice what shirt I'm wearing. It's a white large shirt that has the 'Under Armour' logo on it. I see a medium-sized, burned hole in it, right below where my sternum is. The surprising part is that my skin is still intact. I give Rarity a disbelieving look. "What? it is pretty cold outside, and I don't like seeing clothes dirty, much less ruined."

"Um, yeah. Look, we need to find Twilight and help her before something bad happens," I say, quickly leaving the building. The other five quickly run after me, probably going faster than me. Especially Applejack.

We make it to Twilight's house and see all the lights turned on. I rush in first, only to see Twilight tucking a twitching Spike in bed. He jolts up, eyelids half open.

"We gotta stop Nightmare!" he exclaims before falling back into bed, falling asleep on impact. Twilight places a blanket over him to keep him warm.

"You've been up all night, Spike. You are a baby dragon after all," Twilight says. She walks away while turning off the lights. She doesn't notice me as she walks over to some shelves housing some books. The unicorn levitates about half of the books, creating a large smash. She picks up many books, looking through them, obviously not finding what she's looking for. "Element, elements, elements?! Argh! How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?" she asks herself as she sits on her rump.

"And just what are the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy?" Rainbow asked as she got muzzle to muzzle with Twilight. Startled a bit I flinched as I didn't expect her to be that quick. Twilight started backing up slowly, until her rum hit a bookshelf. My mind wanders a bit to a certain game I used to play. Team Fortress 2. My mind is brought back to reality by a noise from Rainbow. "Woah!" she cries out from her tail being pulled back by Applejack.

"*sigh* Simmer down, Sally. She ain't no spy," she says to the slightly enraged pegasus. The rest of the group walk up to Twilight. "But she sure know what's going on, don't ya Twilight? And what 'bout you, Christian?" Applejack says to the both of us. Twilight looks around fearfully for a second before sighing. I look around for a bit, trying not to look at the apple farmer.

"I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon," Twilight says. "Some mysterious objects called the Elemnts of Harmony are the only things that can stop her. But I don't know what they are, where to find them. I-I don't even know what they do!"

"'The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide'," Pinkie speaks up looking at a bookshelf. Twilight gallops over and knocks the party pony to the side.

"How did you find that?!" a befuddled Twilight asks. She picks up the book and looks towards the pink pony for an answer.

"It was under E!" Pinkie says in a singsong voice as she bounced around.

"Oh..." Twilight sighs as she face-hoofs. I swear, it looks almost exactly like a face-palm, except for the fact that it sounds different then a slap. Twilight brings the book up so everypony can read it. I would join, but I already know everyting about them. "There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known."

"Kindness, laughter, generosity, honesty, and loyalty," I pronounce, counting each one off as I use my fingers to count off each one. The girls just look at me a if I just destroyed Equestria. "What?"

"How do ya' know all a that?" Applejack asks accusingly.

"Let's just say that I know more than you think I do. Besides, we can talk about that later."

"Anyways," Twilight says, continuing her little speech. "The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said that the last know location of the five elements was in the Ancient Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters." I swear, I thought I heard a magical, swirling type noise. I look out the window only to see the moon, I shrug and turn my attention back to Twilight. "I t is located in what is now..."

"T-the Everfree Forest?!" everypony shouts in unison.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" I shout, heading for the door. Applejack stops me by jumping in front of the door.

"Now, hold up there! What do ya think you're doin', heading to the Everfree?"

"Look. I know it's really dangerous, but trust me when I say that nothing bad will happen. Especially with me," I say soothingly. I rub my neck to see if it's not tough. Nope, although it is a bit softer than before.

"Yeah! I'm not afraid to go in that dumb old forest!" Rainbow says as she flies up next to me. I look over to her to thank her, but stop when I see the small amount of fear in her eyes. Instead, I give a sly grin and gently push Applejack out the door. She's a bit heavy for a gentle push, but not too much for me to try too hard. We get about five feet from the library when I realize something. I need a weapon.

"Hey, you guys know any blacksmiths around here?" The group looks at me with blank stares. "You know, so I can get something to protect us. Magic won't always be there." Pinkie and Applejack go into deep thought, Fluttershy hides behind her mane, Rarity and Rainbow seem to not care, and, obviously, Twilight knows very little of the town. AJ remembers first.

"Well, ah know Forge. He's the blacksmith 'round 'ere, and makes all sorts a' stuff. Horseshoes, knives, and sometimes he makes weapons. He's just a bit south from 'ere." She pulls out a medium sized cloth bag that jingles a bit. "Ah got some bits for ya." I gladly accept the bag.

"Thanks AJ. I'll find put how to repay you. In the mean time, I'll meet all of you at the forest," I say, heading on over to the blacksmith, the girls walking the opposite way.

The blacksmith is a fairly small building, about the size of a normal house. The whole building is made of stone, except for the door which looks like it's made of mahogany. A sign hangs above the door, having a picture of an anvil and a hammer.

I enter the building, expecting the usual jingle you hear when you enter a gas station or something. What I did get was a blast of warm air, and loud sounds of metal hitting metal. I look around the shop as I try to find the owner or someone else who works here. The banging stops and a male pegasus walks out from a door behind the counter. He's a little larger than the Mane 6 and has a light gray coat. His mane is a lighter color than his coat and is cut to leave a few inches from his head. His eyes are a mixture of light green and dark blue, and he has a pretty thick mustache. Focusing on his expressions, he seems to be a little startled, but gathers his senses and goes back to an unamused expression.

"Yes? How can I help you?" he says, with a gruff voice that is older than he seems.

"I'd like to know if you have any weapons or weapon rentals that are under-" I check the bag I'm holding. "-about 50 bits," I say. What are you talking about? It sounds like you're talking about renting a car!

"Sure. Anything on the rack to your left is either used, or is around that price range," he says, gesturing to my left. I spot the rack and see an assortment of weapons. Maces, daggers, swords, axes, spears... I never knew these ponies would ever need anything like that. One sword catches my eye though. It has a blade that doesn't seem to big, but not too small either. The blade itself is a greenish-blue and gets wider towards the edge, until it reaches the tip, where it ends with a jagged tip. The hilt seems to be either bronze or gold, and in some parts there are parts the are the same type of metal as the blade. I pick it up and start moving it around to see if it's too heavy. Deciding it's not, I head over to the counter where the pegasus is patiently waiting. I set it on the table and get my bag of bits ready.

"You want to use that? Well, I don't want to turn you away from it, but that sword was never really the best to ever be made." he says with a chuckle

"Yeah, yeah. I just think that it's not how well it's made, it's how well you use it. So, how much for the rent?"

"48 bits."

"And how much to own it?"

"96."

"Well then, I guess I'll be renting it. Here you go." I hand him the bits and make my way for the door.

"Thanks. Just make sure it gets back here before next week."

"Got it. Thanks... uh..."

"Name's Forge."

"Yeah, thanks Forge!" I shout while walking out the door. For any of you who like heat, I'm betting you'd love it in there. I like it better out here where it's pretty cold. I head down the path that leads to the forest. Along the way, I check my neck for stiffness. Yes! Finally, I can fell tenderness, and not some fleshy, weird sort of stone! Oops, overreaction. So, it seems that I can do... what did I do exactly? Let's see, I shouted three words that don't seem to be English, something awesome happened... wait, does this mean I'm-

"There you are! Come on! We've been waiting forever!" I hear Rainbow shout, interrupting my thoughts. I look up to see all of the girls there. They all seem nervous, save for Flutters, who likes like she's going to pass out, and Pinkie, who looks like she's going to burst from excitement.

"Whee! Let's go!" Pinkie shouts.

"Not so fast," Twilight says, stopping Pinkie who stops with an audible skid. I'll probably understand Pinkie physics in a few weeks. "Look, I appreciate the offer, but I'd really rather do this on my own."

"No can do, sugarcube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend o' ours goin' in that creepy place alone," Applejack speaks up. I see Twilight cringe at the word "friend". Applejack continues, "We stickin' toNo I ain't you like caramel on a candy apple." The rest of the group walks into the forest with her.

"Yeah, why do you think I got this?" I ask, holding up my sword. The girls stop to see what I'm holding, and back up a few steps. "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you with this. Only anything that is a monster." They calm down a bit, but I can tell their still weary about it. I put it back in the black sheathe, which is attached to my hip, that came with it. Pinkie, however seems to have reverted completely back to her normal self.

"Anyways, We'll need to go especially if there are candy apples in there!" she says. She sees Twilight's expression of confusion. "What? Those things are good!" Pinkie says as she trots into the Everfree.

"Ladies first?" I ask Twilight with a fancy accent, gesturing to the forest. She gives a sigh and follows Pinkie. I follow closely behind, although not too closely. You know, personal space and such. We catch up to the group, Twilight taking the lead, then Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, and then me, getting pretty bored. I see the edge of a cliff coming up.

"So," Twilight begins, "N-none of you have been in here before?"

"Heavens no!" Rarity exclaims, "Just look at it! It's dreadful!"

"And it ain't natural!" Applejack says, "Folks say it don't work the same way as Equestria." I hear that same strange magical noise form before, except on the edge of the cliff. I peer down and see a faint shimmer that's also mixed with a strange mist.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Twilight breaks my sight from the cliff with the question.

"NOOooOOopony knows!" Rainbow says with a spooky voice. "You know why?" I roll my eyes, knowing it's not very scary.

"Rainbow! Quit it!" Applejack shouts, but Rainbow doesn't listen, so she continues scaring the rest of the group. Pinkie looks confused, Twilight looks intrigued, Applejack looks annoyed, and Rarity and Fluttershy look terrified. Me? I'm betting I look like I'm bored out of my mind.

"'Cause everypony who has ever come in, has never. Come. OUT!" she says with a shout.

*CRACK*

The ground gave way, causing everyone not a pegasus, who can fly, and me, who was standing far behind to start falling down the cliff.

"Fluttershy! Quick!" Rainbow shouts while flying after the group, leaving a rainbow trail behind me. Fluttershy looks at me in worry, and I just make a motion, telling her to go.

"Ohmygoodness!Ohmygoodness!" I hear her say. Now, how to get down.

It takes a minute for me to come up with a plan. After many ways of my dark mind telling me how I can go splat! on the ground far below, I came up with a simple idea of using my sword as a brake to slowly get down the cliff. I dig my sword into the ground, not too hard to get it stuck, but not too loose so I can slip and end up as a messy pancake. After a few minutes, I finally make it to a cliff edge where I see Twilight hanging over the end while Applejack is holding her up. I hear them trying to tell each other something.

"... you crazy?!" Twilight shouts.

"No ah ai'nt! I promise you'll be safe."

"That's not true!"

"Now listen 'ere. Wat ah'm sayin' here is tha honest truth! Let go, and you'll be safe," Aj reassures her. I see plenty of fear in Twilight's eyes, so I speak up.

"Trust her. Trust me. Just let go," I tell her. I see her calm down before falling off the cliff. Normally, I'd be scared to death, but I knew there were a couple of someponies there. A second of peace goes before I hear her terrified screams.

"AAAAHHH!" The scream happens for a few seconds, ending with the sound of faint thumps. I walk over next to AJ, kneel down, and hold to the edge for safety. I see Twilight being held up by Rainbow and Fluttershy. Twilight gives a sigh of relief, but then I see the three quickly drop a few tens of feet, and then stopping before hitting the ground. I quickly think of a meme I saw. I look over to Applejack, who has a concerned look on her face.

"Do you see this shiz, Applejack?" she looks over at me, even more confused. She shakes it off before jumping down on to a few smaller ledges. It suddenly hits me that I have no way of getting down. I would follow Applejack, but I don't want to possibly break my knees.

"Sorry girls," I hear Fluttershy say, "I'm not used to holding anything more than a bunny or two."

Leap of faith time. I jump off the edge, spread eagle position to slow my fall. All of the girls gasp, but I don't care. I just hope this works. I blur my vision, again, longer than I usually do. Just mere seconds from the ground, I quickly flip over, let my instincts take over, and shout just one word.

"WULD!"

I get sent straight back in the air, about ten to fifteen feet, and then start falling again, feeling as if I just started falling. I quickly roll over and get in a weird stance that will allow me to roll. I few feet from the ground, I start rolling forwards, tucking in my arms so they don't flail around. I move my head to the side so I don't let it hit the ground first, and instead use my shoulder.

"Parkour!" I shout as I roll. My knees, thighs, and right shoulder hurt a bit, but nothing seems to be bruised too badly, much less broken. I lay on the ground for a bit, catching my breath. After a few minutes, I hear that same, damn magical noise. I slowly turn my head over to where it was, and luckily I get a better view of it. It looks like the night sky, but instead of black, it's more like a blue or indigo. It disappears after heading to the canyon up ahead, but it's too dark to tell what it's doing. I turn my attention back to the girls, who are still surprised by my little act. I roll my eyes, and say, "I know. It was stupid, and I hope I don't have to do it again. So as of now, did anyone see that freaky mist?"

Snapping out of there trance, they take a look around, but end up shaking there head. I rub my neck again, and I feel the same sensation from before, only this time it doesn't seem so tense. Fluttershy comes up to me, still looking a bit worried.

"A-are you okay, if you don't mind me asking. I mean, you just jumped off of that cliff, and I don't know if you're hurt at all," she whispers, as her usual speech volume. I chuckle at her shyness, and just pat her on the head, which she seems to like.

"Yeah, I feel fine. Just gimme a sec to see if I can stand," I say, struggling to get up. After a few failed attempts, I shakily walk towards the group, who were obviously a little impatient, and even more worried looking. "Sorry if I kept you waiting. Now, let's go!"

We walking towards the canyon I saw the mist head off to. I check my sword to see if it survived the fall, which it did thankfully. rainbow decides to be the entertainment for the walk, while she flew around.

"...and when Pinkie and Rarity were safe, WOOSH! Me and Fluttershy looped-a-looped around and WHAM!" she said, landing next to Twilight, "Caught you right in the nick of time!"

"Yes, Rainbow. I was there," Twilight says, completely unamused, "And I'm very grateful, but we gotta- *GASP*" Twilight was cut off by a large mass stopping us from the valley. "A manticore!" Twilight shouts in fear. The mythological beast reared up and roared at us, bat wings unfurled and scorpion stinger ready to strike. "We've gotta get past him," Twilight says confidently. I check my neck and, thankfully, it's no longer stiff. I unsheathe my sword, not to attack, but to look intimidating.

The manticore assaults Rarity first, who deftly dodges the attack and than bucks it in the face. "Take that you ruffian!" she shouts proudly, only for her mane to be blown back and she goes cross-eyed by the beast ferocious roar.

"RRRROOOOAAARRR!" I can tell that it's pretty pissed now. Rarity, who takes no mind in the beast in front of her, stares at her mane in disgust.

"My hair!" she shouts. I face palm at the fashionista's response. After a sigh, I look up to see her fleeing from the beast.

"Wait," Fluttershy says, which is actually a louder than usual whisper. The manticore continues to chase Rarity, only to be stopped by a certain cowpony.

"Yeehaw! Get along, lil' doggy!" Applejack says as she continues to rodeo with the beast.

"Wait!" Fluttershy says,a little louder this time. After a few more seconds, the manticore finally manages to get AJ off.

"Whoa!" she exclaims, "All yours, pardner," she says a she soars past Rainbow.

"I'm on it!" the pegasus says as she gives a salute.

"Wait!" Fluttershy says even louder, only to have her mane be blown back by the wind of Rainbow. The multi-color maned pegasus flies quickly in circles around the manticore, creating a tornado of colors. Soon, the creature's tail is in the air, ready to strike. However, before he can attack, my vision is, once again, blurred and my vocal cords feel tingly.

"FUS!"

A blue force erupts in front of me, hitting the rainbow twister Rainbow becomes unsteady and flies off course. More specifically, me. I dodge by crouching just a few inches, which are quickly filled by a cyan blur that rush past me. The manticore is also dazed, stumbling around. He quickly shakes it off and glares at the gang and I. They all start pawing at the ground preparing to charge. I tap Fluttershy on the shoulder to get her attention.

"Go. Stop them," I say, which she replies with a nod. The other five begin their charge on the manticore, who is an a stance, ready to pounce on any of them. Well, most of them are charging, but Pinkie, of course, is hopping with the group.

"WAAAAIIIIT!" Fluttershy shouts, stopping the group. They do so looking confused, and even the manticore seems a little puzzled. Fluttershy walks up to the beast, who growls in anger and lifts a paw. I still hold my sword at the ready, just in case something goes wrong. Everyone else holds a hoof up to their face, expecting an attack from the manticore. That didn't happen.

"Shhh. It's okay," Fluttershy says soothingly. She begins to nuzzle the paw that wasn't raisedto attack. She looks up at the manticore kindly. He looks confused for a second, then looks at the paw that was recently nuzzled. He brings it closer to the yellow pegasus, revealing a thorn in the palm. "Oh, you poor, poor, little baby," Fluttershy says to the creature.

"Little?!" Rainbow exclaims.

"Now this might hurt for just a second," Flutters says, ignoring Rainbow's outburst. She takes the thorn in it's mouth and quickly pulls it out.

"RRRROOOOAARRR" goes the manticore, holding Fluttershy in its paw.

"Fluttershy!" everybody but me shouts. A loud slurp is heard as the creature gives the canary yellow pegasus a big lick a comically large tongue. He gives a purr as Fluttershy giggles.

"Aww, you're a just a little ol' baby kitty, aren't you? Yes you are. Yes you are!" Fluttershy says to the manticore as if one would talk to a baby. The rest of us walk by the creature. Twilight stops, waiting for Fluttershy, who has a very strange hair style, to catch up.

"How did you know about the thorn?" asks a very confused Twilight.

"I didn't. Sometimes we just need to be shown a little kindness," replies Fluttershy, still wearing that ridiculous hair-do (mane-do?)

Happy with her answer, Twilight walks ahead with her smile on. I sheathe my sword and catch up with the group. Again, I hear that magical noise. Looking around, I can't find it anywhere.

"Ugh," Rarity says, "My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck." The canopy starts to get thicker, blocking the moonlight and making it darker. "Well, I didn't mean that literally," Rarity mutters. I pick up a stick, than check my vocal cords, which are no longer tense. Luck seems to be on my side today. Blurred vision? Check. Tingly throat? Double check. Barely any sense in my mind? Checkity check, check, check. I hold the stick in front of my face and chech for any dampness. Finding the stick dry, I force myself to whisper, rather than shout.

"Yol."

A small wisp of flames reaches the stick, setting the end ablaze. With my makeshift torch I take the lead. Twilight walks up to my side.

"Do you mind telling me how you are able to do stuff like that?" she asks.

"Would you believe me if I said magic?" I retaliated. She gives a shrug and heads back with the other ponies.

"That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces, and we wouldn't even know it!" Twilight exclaims. I hear the mist moving about again, and quickly point at it.

"There it is! do you see it?!" I shout keeping my eyes on the weird stuff.

"It's too dark to see anything, Christian, silly!" Pinkie exclaims happily. I look at her, or more likely, where I heard her voice. I look back towards the mist, only to see it's not there.

By now, everyone is talking about something, until a weird, squishy noise was made. "Oh wait," Applejack says, "I think I stepped in something."

"EEEKK!" Fluttershy screams, wings spread out.

"It's just mud," Applejack says as she continues on the path. A tree blocks her path, which she stops to look at for half a second. It looks hideous, almost as if a face was made into it, creating some sort of deformed monster. "Gahh!" AJ screams, jumping into a nearby bush. Everyone else looks at the other trees, seeing the other deformed, hideous faces. Everyone's reaction was completely normal. huddle into a group and scream in fear. Well, everyone save for me and Pinkie. I looked completely bored, while Pinkie started laughing.

She started making faces at the tree, as if she were mimicking someone. "Pinkie Pie," Twilight started, "What are you doing? Run!"

I face-palm once again. "Twilight, they're just trees."

Pinkie starts laughing again. "Oh girls, don't you see?" she stated as calmly as I did, except without so much irritation. Where was that music coming from? Oh wait, it's Pinkie. Now it's time for her to sing.

When I was a little filly and

the sun was going dooooooown.

The darkness and the shadows

they would always make me frooooooooown.

I'd hide under my pillow from what I thought I saw,

but Granny Pie said, 'That wasn't the way to deal with fears at aaaaalllllll.'

She said, 'Pinkie you gotta stand up tall, learn to face your fears,

you'll see that they can't hurt you just laugh to make them disappeeeeear.'

HA HA HA

Sooooooo, giggle at the ghosty

Guffaw at the grossly.

Crack up at the creepy.

Woof it up with the weepy.

Chortle at the cooky.

Snortle at the spooky.

And to tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike

and leave you alone and if he thinks he's scary than he's got another thing coming

and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna HAHHAHAAHAHA laaaauuuuuuugh.

I sit there, mouth agape, torch barely being held, confused as buck. I mean, how do you make things disappear if you just start singing? Then I remember, it's Pinkie Pie. Deal with it. I'm gonna have to use that method sometime.

The girls are all sitting there, rolling on the ground laughing. After calming down a bit, I decide that it's time to get going.

"Come on, girls. Don't we have to stop Nightmare?" They all agree, still giggling a bit. We make it around a few bushes, coming upon a river. Normally anyone would cross it, but this river is being thrashed around by an unknown force. Weeping is being heard over to our right. No longer needing the torch, I toss it into the river, where it is quickly enveloped by the white waters. I'm really glad we didn't try to cross the river. We walk through the bushes, until a large purple tail is seen thrashing about. The tail leads to a large sea serpent that, somehow, has goldish slick hair and half of his moustache seems to have been cut off.

"What a world! What a world!" he shouts, slamming his fists into the water. Anyone with experience from my world would know he's upset about his mustache.

"Excuse me,sir," Twilight says, "Why are you crying?" Of course! She doesn't know because she's never been to my world!

"Well I don't know," the serpent says, "I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this tiny little cloud of purple smoke just went whiz! past me and tore half of my beloved moustcahe, clean off!" He said, poining to the stub that used to be a half of his moustache. "And now," he continued. "I look simply horrid!" he cried, falling into the already thrashing waters and making a mini tidal wave.

After being soaked, Rainbow said, "Oh, give me a break."

"That's what all the fuss is 'bout?" Applejack said accusingly. I nudge Rarity in the shoulder, although it's pretty difficult due to my height.

"Why of course it is!" Rarity exclaimed. "How can you be so inconsiderate! Aww, just look at him," she said getting closer to the serpent. "Such lovely, luminescent scales!"

"*sniff* I know!" he says.

"Your expertly kept mane!"

"Oh I know! Oh I know!" he said, smoothing his hair back.

"Your fabulous manicure!"

"It's so true!" he says, squeezing his cheeks together. Okay, now I can tell he's definitely gay.

"All ruined without your beautiful moustache!"

"It's true! I'm hideous!" he shouted, covering his head in shame.

"I simply cannot let a crime against fabulousity go uncorrected!" She shouted, getting ready to pull out one of his scales.

"Wait!" I shout, stopping her from hurting him. I hold out my sword to her. "Use this instead."

She takes it in her mouth and swings it, making the cliche sound when a sword strikes something. Her tail is now on the ground, severed from her pristine coat. She picks it up in her levitation, bringing it towards the serpent's face, infusing it into his scales. Now, I'm not a master in fashion, but I can tell when something is horribly wrong. Right now, his make-shift moustache is non-matching. I mean, come on! It's worse than before! However, Stephen, let's call him that, doesn't seem to mind.

"Oh! Hoohoohoo! My moustache! How wonderful!" he says, striking a pose.

"You look smashing!" Rarity approves.

"Rarity! Your beautiful tail!" Twilight exclaims, looking at the stub on Rarity's rear.

"Oh, it's fine my dear. Short tails are in this season! And besides, it'll grow back."

Rainbow trots up to Twilight and whispers, "So will the mustache."

"Look! We can cross now! Let's g-AAHHH!" Twilight says before being lifted up by a purple scaled rock. Shut up, brain. That's obviously a part of the serpent's body.

"Allow me," he says before sticking his head in the water to make another stepping stone. We all start making it over, me being last. I make it over to one part, and let me tell ya, it's pretty slippery trying to hop across. I reach the end eventually and look back at the last part.

"Thanks... uh, I never caught your name," I say sheepishly. He brings his head out of the water and clears his throat.

"Ahem. I am Stephen Magnet IV," he says proudly.

"Well thanks Stephen," I say. I give him one last look, and then blur my eyes. He looks scared for a second, then faints, falling into the water with a loud splash. I chuckle to myself and then catch up with the group. For a few minutes, I hear nothing except for the spring in Pinkie's steps. That gets boring after a while, so I decide to play some music in my head. Nope, I'm not going to tell you the music.

"There it is! The ruin that holds the Element of Harmony! We've made it!" Twilight exclaims, messing up the music. Aww, it was at the best part to. Twilight begins galloping for the ruins, with the others in hot pursuit.

"Twilight! Wait fer us!" Applejack shouts. I decide to follow by walking briskly, so I don't fall in the canyon. Wait, the canyon?!

"Twilight! Wait!" I shout.

"We're almost there!" She shouts in response, not noticing the broken bridge ahead of her. So, yeah, she ends up nearly falling off. Using her forelegs, she quickly keeps moving them backwards. Rainbow pulls her back by her tail. I wonder how that feels...

"What's with you and falling off cliffs today?" she asks jokingly.

"I don't know. It's not fall yet, is it?" I reply with a sly smirk. This gets the group laughing a bit, and Rainbow giving me a brohoof. Wait a second, I just brohoofed Rainbow Dash! I can die happy now. But if I do, I'm gonna be pissed. After calming down, the group peers over the edge.

"Now what?!" Pinkie exclaims in despair, her voice echoing. Rainbow extends her wings and gives them a wiggle.

"Duh," she says matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah!" Pinkie says. Rainbow jumps off the edge, grabs the piece of ladder on our side, and flies to the other side. She's about to tie it to the bridge support, when that same mist floats by.

"Rainbow Dash..." a voice says.

"Who's there?!" Rainbow exclaims, a little creeped out. "I ain't scared of you! Show yourself!" she shouts, using motions as if she were boxing.

"We've been eagerly awaiting for the best flier in Equestria..."

"Who?"

"Why, you of course!"

"Really?! I mean, oh yeah! Me! Hey, um, you wouldn't mind telling the Wonderbolts that, would ya? Because I've been trying to get in that group for like ever!"

"No, Rainbow Dash. We want you to join us!" Three ponies in matching uniform gallop out of the mist. "The Shadowbolts! We're the greatest aerial team in the Everfree Forest! And soon, we will be the greatest in all Equestria! But first, we need a captain." Rainbow's eyes light up with excitement. "The most magnificent..."

"Yep."

"... Swiftest..."

"Yes."

"... Most bravest flier in all the land!"

"Yes! It's all true."

"We need-" the female Shadowbolt gets close to Rainbow's ear and whispers, "-you."

"Woohoo! Sign me up! Just let me tie this bridge real quick and then we'll have a deal." she says as she reaches for the rope of the bridge.

"No! It's them, or us!" the female exclaims.

"Rainbow!" Twilight shouts, "What's taking so long?" Twilight sees the Shadowbolts. "Oh no. Rainbow!" she shouts as the eyes of the female one's eyes slow yellow, "Don't listen to them!" The fog thickens, creating a barrier between us.

"Hold up. I got this," I say professionally. Everypony backs up, knowing something's going to happen. The usual happens.

"Lok... Vah KOOR!"

Another blue eruption appears in front of me, heading for the fog. The fog quickly dissipates, showing three surprised Shadowbolts and a Rainbow Dash tying the rope to the stone pillar. Rainbow flies back to us, wings spread and standing on her hind legs. Everybody cheers and we make it across the bridge. Knowing my shouts, I check my neck, and thankfully see that it's tender once again

"Good job, Rainbow!" Twilight says.

"See? I never leave my friends hanging!" Rainbow exclaims, flying ahead. We walk inside the doors, entering the weathered, old, overgrown building.

"Come on, Twilight. Isn't this what you've been waitin' fer?" Applejack asks.

"The Elements of Harmony! We found them!" Twilight proclaims, observing the statue that holds five orbs. Rainbow and Flutershy fly up there, each carrying a different orb.

"One, two, three, four... there's only five," a befuddled Pinkie states.

"Where's the sixth?" Rainbow asks,

"The book said, when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth element to appear," I say.

"And what in the hay is that supposed to mean?" Applejack asks.

"I'm not sure, but I have an idea," Twilight says as she walks in the middle of the circle created by the elements. "Stand back. I don't know what will happen." Her horn glows with the faint purple aura that's used by her.

"Come on now, ya'll. She needs to concentrate." Applejack says, everypony else following her. I decide to stay behind, you know, to protect Twilight. I bring out my sword, ready to fight Nightmare. I hear that magical sound the mist makes and look to my left. Nothing. I hear Twilight grunting, trying to do something with the Elements. I look at said objects and notice something strange. The mist is swirling around the Elements so quickly they're being lifted in the air! Twilight notices this and yelps in fear, horn no longer glowing.

"Twilight!" I hear a unison shout.I turn my attention towards the bluish tornado. Is it me, or is it getting smaller?

"The Elements!" Twilight shouts, jumping in the tornado. Having no choice I jump in with her, the other ponies a tad too late. The tornado quickly shrinks, leaving nothing there anymore.

Do you know what it's like to teleport? Not very fun. In fact, it hurts probably worse that a migraine. Although if you do it a lot, it probably doesn't hurt as much. So newbies, try not to teleport too much, okay?

I sit up, holding my head while trying to stop the pain, eyes shut tight. I hear Twilight cough a couple of times before gasping. I open them to find Nightmare Moon standing on some sort of raised part of the floor, laughing evilly. Twilight gives a huff and starts pawing at the ground getting ready to charge. Seizing the opportunity, I grab my sword and get in a fighting stance.

"You're kidding. You're kidding, right?" Nightmare asks in a serious, unamused tone. Twilight charges forwards, horn glowing. Nightmare does the same thing, horn not glowing. As soon as they're about to crash together, Twilight disappears with a flash. Nightmare Moon stops in her tracks and looks around, confused. I take the opportunity to prepare myself. The usual, please.

"Liz... Slen NUS!"

An icy storm envelops Nightmare, freezing her and making her fall over and stay in the position she was in while standing. Another pink flash appears, dropping Twilight next to the Elements. She rubs her head, obviously not a master in teleporting.

"Ugh. Just one spark. Come on, come on!" The five orbs are covered in the same glow as her horn. I hear a cracking behind me and see Nightmare breaking out of her frozen prison. I step back, hardly remembering what happens next. Nightmare escapes being frozen, then turns a purple tornado/mist creation and flies in front of Twilight, who is still trying to do something.

The orbs create a weird blast, knocking the unicorn next to my feet. She gets up to see the orbs glowing, sparks arcing between each other.

"No! No!" Nightmare shouts in fear. I can tell Twilight feels good about it. The glowing continues for a few more seconds, then suddenly stop.

Twilight gasps, "But, where's the sixth element?!" Nightmare gives an evil laugh, rearing up and stonping the ground around the orbs. The all burst into a bunch of fragments, littering the ground. Twilight stares in disbelief as they fall.

"You little foal. Did you think you can defeat me?! Now you will never see your Princess, or you sun. The night will last forever!" Nightmare shouted, mane swirling around to create a storm over her head.

"Hey! What about me?" I shout. "What are you gonna do about me?"

"Please, you are merely but a hole in my path," she says, still laughing evilly.

"Bitch please. Not when I know everything," I say, giving the meme face. I check my neck, which is once again, no longer tough. You know the routine.

"And what is that supposed to me-"

"Fo... Krah DIIN!"

I stream of frost shoots from my face. You think it's weird saying that? Try seeing it. The frost hit her entire body, no doubt chilling her to the bone. Once the beam is gone, I look at Twilight, who has large pupils while staring at the stairs where the rest of the girls were ascending. Did I just see a sparkle in those eyes? She turns around to face Nightmare, who is still recovering from the sudden freezing.

"You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony just like that? Well you''re wrong! Because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right HERE!" Twilight shouted, gesturing to her friends. The fragments start to glow different colors and start shaking around, some even floating.

"What?!" Nightmare shouted.

"Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of honesty!" A bunch of fragments that are glowing orange start flying around Applejack. "Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compasson, represents the spirit of kindness!" Many fragments that are glowing pink surround Fluttershy, who attempts once to try to get away, but fails. "Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of laughter!" Many crystals start surrounding Pinkie, who is pretty psyched about it. "Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift, represents the spirit of generosity!" Fragments, that pretty much have no color and only sparkles, surround Rarity, who is admiring them a lot. "And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire, represents the spirit of loyalty!" Fragments that glow red surround Rainbow. "The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us!"

"You still don't have the sixth element! The spark didn't work!" Nightmare shouts frantically.

"It did. A different kind of spark." Twilight turned around to her friends. "I felt it the moment I realized how happy I was to hear you! To see you! How much I cared about you! The spark ignited inside me. What I realized is that you are all-" she turned back to Nightmare. Where's my popcorn?! "-My friends!"

Another orb appeared right in the sky, started glowing, and was gently floating down towards Twilight. Oh, here's my popcorn. Munch munch. Hmm, needs butter.

"You see Nightmare Moon," Twilight spoke up, "when those elements are ignited by, uh, the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element. The element of magic!" The same orb started glowing again, causing the fragment to make amulets for everyone, and a tiara for Twilight. Still glowing brightly, a double helix of a rainbow shot out into the sky, and then coming back, towards Nightmare.

"NO!" she shouted, trying to get away, but I caught up to her and held her down as the rainbow cannon shot us both. Remember when I said that traveling through space like I did a few days ago hurt a lot? Well, imagine that, except with the sounds of laughter, happiness, and memories flashing through your mind. So yeah, I'm guessing it was like death. 'See ya,' my brain said as a tear slid down my cheek.

"Everypony okay?" a voice says.

"I am. Wait where's Christian?!" another voice says.

"I don't know? Wait what's the over there?" yet another voice says.

"Help me move this," the second voice says.

The sound of stone rubbing stone rouses me from unconsciousness. I slowly open my eyes to find they open a little more than usual. Oh great, did I lose the Asian part of me? I sure hope I can still Gangnam Style. A small ray of light enters the tomb I seem to be trapped in. As the light grows larger, my senses regain themselves. First hearing, then sight, taste, which my mouth tastes horrible right now, touch, and finally, smell, which seems to have gotten better somehow.

Before me stand a confused Applejack, a surprised and slightly scared Twilight, and Rainbow that has a certain "hungry" look. Creeped out, I turn my attention to the other two.

"What?" I manage. "Am I dead?" I see my red hair in the way of my sight, so I shake it away. Wait, red hair?

"No, it's just that, um yer a... how can say this?" Applejack asks herself

"Pony?" Twilight finishes for her.

"Y-yeah. Yer now a pony... ah guess. Well more of a pegasus," Applejack says while rubbing the back of her head. "You okay there? You're starting ta act like Pinkie."

Am I okay? AM I OKAY?! I'm a freaking pony! Of course I'm not okay. This is the best day of my life! I attempt to get up, only to fall back down. Repeat process about 8 times, and you'll get to how I'm feeling. I finally realize what I'm doing wrong. I'm trying to stand using two legs! Now I understand why I was being laughed at. You're not Lyra, so stop that, brain! Gathering my breath, I attempt to stand on four legs, which lasts a little longer, before I collapse. I decide to end training session there and ask a question.

"Do my eyes still work?" I ask Twilight. I blur my vision again, but not for too long, and watch Twilight. With a nod, I continue to lay in spread eagle formation. They continue the conversation as I check my new body. So, like I said before, red mane, and pretty large wings. I'm going to need big wings to carry my fat body around. I check my hooves to see my fur color, which is a charcoal gray color. Not black, but not gray, so still pretty dark. Wait a second... buck! I'm a Gary Stu!

"Noooo..." I say, trailing off at the end. this seems to have disrupted the conversation because they stop talking. "Sorry. Continue."

"Anyways," Applejack says, "I reckon we do represent the elements of friendship."

"Indeed, you do," says a mysterious voice. Everyone looks out the window to see what must've been the sunrise in a long while. A bright orb of light passes through the window, slowly descending onto the floor. A majestic angel choir sings with the Aaaaahhhhhh. Wait, never mind, that was me. A tall white unicorn/pegasus exits the light that entered the building. Everyone bows so I attempt to do the same, only to end up with my flank in the air and chin on the ground. I find it comfortable, so I stay like it. Okay, now to see if she really is Celestia. Let's see... coat is completely white, so not Trollestia, and her mane is more than one color, so she is not Molestia.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight says as she walks up to the royal alicorn.

"Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I knew you could do it." Celestia said as she nuzzled Twilight. Quick come up with a pony name.

"But you told me it was all an old pony tale."

"I told you that you need to make some friends. Nothing more.I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return, and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her. But you could not unleash until you let true friendship into your heart." Twilight looked back at her friends and smile before Celestia spoke again.

"Now if only another will as well. Princess Luna!" Celestia said. looking down upon the figure of the dark blue alicorn, who was asleep until her name was called.

"Huh?!" she gasped looking around.

"It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us," she told her younger sister as she lowered herself closer to her sister. "We're meant to rule together, little sister."

"Sister?" Twilight asks.

"Did I forget to tell you that? Sorry," I say, which causes everyone to look at me.

"And who might you be?" Celestia asks. She already forgot? A bit rude.

"Night Stalker," I say, using my OC's name, since, well I am my own OC. I wave a hoof to tell her to continue, which earns me a glare from Twilight.

"Anyways, will you accept my friendship?" Celestia asks. I feel the tension increase, I gets so thick, it can be cut with a spoon.

"Whoa!" Or it can be cut by Pinkie falling over.

Luna looks down for a few seconds, then jumps up to nuzzle her sister, crying. "I'm so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister," she says, floodgates opening.

"I missed you too," Celestia said, other floodgates opening. The sound of someone blowing into a tissue broke the silence. It seems Pinkie has larger floodgates.

"Hey!" Pinkie said, all tears and sadness gone. "You know what this calls for? A party!" she shouted, throwing her hooves into the air.

"Later, Pinkamena," Celestia said, "For now, I want to have a talk with Night over here." Realizing I was the subject of speech, I struggled to stand up. It seems that under pressure, I stand up better. Funny. "Follow me." I oblige, knowing this was the normal Celestia. We start walking down the steps leading to the previous room.

"Yes Princess?" I ask.

"Tell me who you really are."

"I thought you would know that?"

"Yes it seems that way, and by the way actions have gone, I'm sure I made the right choice."

"Yes, and I'm glad they went well."

"This also means I'll be referring to you as the Mustang now."

"The what now?" By now I've stopped walking, staring at her.

"The Mustang is a legendary warrior who uses power like the ones you showed and will be the strongest protector of all of Equestria."

"What?! I mean-Whoa, that's just a lot of land to cover."

"Yes, and I'll make sure you'll be able to protect it all."

"But how? I'm still a pony, I have wings I don't know how to use, and I'm confused on how to pick things up without magic," I look down at my hooves and sighed. "I feel like I'm useless."

"Not for long," Celestia said as a faint yellow glowing brightened the room.

"What are you talking abou-" I was cut off by Celestia's horn touching my forehead. I warm feeling passed through me, not at all like the colorful explosion. After a few minutes, my body cooled down, finally. Don't get me wrong, it feels good to have that warmth pass through you, but like I said, I prefer cooler weather.

"There, now you have the ability to transform back to your original form. While in your original form, You may study spells with my student, but as a pegasus, you must learn how to fight."

So I can learn magic? Awesome! I give a mock salute, "Yes, Princess Celestia."

"Please, call me Celestia."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Let's head back to the rest of the group, shall we?" I give a nod and we start heading back to the girls.

"There you are!" Pinkie says. "Come on. We need to head back to Ponyville and through a huge, gigantic, super-duper awesome party!"

"Yes, let's go. Onwards!" I shout heroically. "Wait, let me get my sword." I find it under one of the smaller pillars. Must've been blown back by explosion. "Now let's go."

We make it back to Ponyville, and man, was that some party.

A Mishap

A Mishap

I slowly rouse from the sleep I was comfortably, and somehow, uncomfortably in. Don't ask me how, for I may have gained a couple of Pinkie's powers.

'Now, where is that crazy pink mare, why did I black out, why do I have a skull splitting headache, and most importantly, who's sucking on my fingers!?' my brain shouted. I instantly regretted doing so, for my head was hit with a lance of sharp pain. Noting that a few of the fingers on my right hand are being sucked on, I put my left hand to my head to stop the pain. Wait, hand?

Opening my eyes slowly so they won't get burned to a crisp, my vision is filled with green and white. More importantly, mint green. I do a double retake and gradually figure out what in Tartarus is going on. I notice the horn, so it's a unicorn, and it seems a bit smaller than me, so it's a mare. With my narrowed down choices, I come to a conclusion on what the buck is sucking on my fingers. Lyra.

Calmly, I get out of the death grip she has on me and ponder on how to relieve my appendages from her eating hole. Ding ding ding! Stop it, brain. POP! The sounds echoes through the room a bit before silencing. I decide to check to see what room I'm in. Ceiling, dresser, large, comfy bed, T.V... wait, what? I look back at where I saw the T.V. and notice it's my television. The different shades of blue slowly swirling in the background, and the words "Press OK to watch AT&T U-verse TV" disappearing and reappearing in a different spot.

"Ugh," I hear somebody moan. I look to my right on the edge of my bed towards the ground where the sound had come from. I might have broken the ground from my jaw hitting it so quickly. On my floor was the Mane 6, only one problem. They were HUMANS! Thank goodness they're also clothed. Looking around some more, I notice Spike is also here, sleeping atop my desk, also human. A glance at Lyra shows she is also human. Only one thought runs through my head.

So, Lyra, the Mane 6, Spike and a scroll are in my room. Scroll? Surely enough, there's a tan rolled up piece of paper that's held together by a red ribbon, laying on my long dresser. On the ribbon was a golden seal with a capital C on it. Knowing this was a letter from Celestia, I removed the ribbon and read the letter.

Dear Christian,

While in your... drunken stupor, it seems you showed a great deal of magic use, being able to turn my student and her friends into humans as well. You were also rambling on about "Skyrim", and something called "Halo?" Anyways, you opened a rift using one of the powers you were given upon entering Equestria. I cannot tell how, for I don't even know. The girls, Spike, and Lyra decided to go with you to see how your different your world is from ours. My student will be taking notes, while the girls and Spike will find something else to do. Until you find out how to get back to Equestria, I'm afraid you're stuck on "Earth" as you call it.

Princess Celestia

I put down the scroll and sit on my bed, pondering on what I just read. Stuck on Earth? Not so great. Stuck on Earth with the Mane 6? MAkes it a whole lot better. Lyra? Not so sure. I look over to the girl in question to find her staring at me,

"Gah!" I shout, nearly flying into the ceiling, Lyra flinching in suprise. She looks around my room, eyes growing more curious with each second. "You okay?" I ask as I recover from my shock.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be-" she cut herself off as she looked down at her hands. Yep, Lyra has hands.

"Now, before you go all crazy, let's-"

"Oh my gosh!" she practically screamed, squealing with delight. I swear, if I didn't have a headache, I would probably enjoy this. I quickly rush over and cover her mouth with one of my hands while the other tries to hold down her arms.

"Calm down! I don't want anyone else to wake up!" I loudly whisper. Too late.

"Uggh. Pinkie, did you spike the punch again?" Rainbow asks as she rubs her head.

"Yep! I had to make the punch special because, you know, we got two new friends and Twilight got to stay in Ponyville!" the party ex-pony said.

"You could at least telaaGGH! I'm in Christian's body!" Rainbow exclaims.

"If that were so, how come I'm right here?" I ask. Dash stares in disbelief at me, then at everyone else.

"Wha-Who-Wh- What's going on!"

"Really? You don't remember?" I idly let go of Lyra's mouth.

"Well, I remember you dancing to this really weird song you made out of magic. But other than that, no."

"Hey Christian, what's that?" Pinkie asks as she points at the T.V.

"I'll tell you later. Right now we've got to get everyone up," I respond as I walk over to Applejack.

"You mean everypony."

"Not in this world."

After waking everybody else up, which Spike complained the most, I gathered their attention.

"Now, I bet you're wondering why we're all in my room."

"This is your room? It's kinda small," Rainbow comments.

"Well, it wouldn't be this small if there weren't as many people. Now the second thing I bet you're also wondering is how you're humans. Well, I gues it's kinda my fault."

"What? But you're not even a unicorn!" Twilight exclaims. How has no one heard us yet?

"True, but let me give you all a quick lesson about what I've learned about Equestria. You see, all beings in Equestria have at least some magic in them. For earth ponies, they are better at growing crops and healing and other things like that. Pegasi have the ability to control the weather, which is also a bonus as they can walk on clouds. Unicorns, however, are the most magical beings, second to alicorns. They hhave more magic, but have nowhere to use it, meaning they are able to cast it out of their horns."

"And you know all this how exactly?" Applejack asks.

"Ah yes, the most touchy subject I can give you all. How I know you before I got to Equestria. Well..." Another explanation to the rest of the group, including Lyra and Spike. Speaking of Lyra...

"Lyra." The girl in question stops messing with her hands(and boobs for some reason) and looks at me. "I know you really like your hands, but you gotta listen. I want you to stay away from people as best you can. The reason is because I don't think it'd be natural for someone to run up to me and start messing with my hands. Got it?" She looked a bit dejected, but nodded.

"Alright, now let's-" I was cut off by many growls at the same time, including my own, "get something to eat." I walk into the kitchen first, and notice the clock saying that it's 7:34. Thank goodness it's Saturday. I spot quite a few apples in the fruit holder. Think of it as two baskets held by the same poles meant for holding food or something. I grab nine apples and begin heading back to the room before a piece of paper catches my eye. Saying it's for my brother and written by my mother, I decide to read it anyways.

Phoenix,

I will be at Walmart for a while to pick up groceries. Be back soon

Love, Momma

I set it back down and head back to my room. I sneak past my brother's room, sneaking a peak of him sleeping. No, I'm not that creepy. Just checking to see if he was still here. I walk back into the room to see Pinkie bouncing around the place, Applejack staring at stuff, Twilight examining my iPod, Spike checking out his still very sharp teeth, Rainbow attempting to stand up, Rarity going through my clothes in disgust, Fluttershy trying to hide behind her long hair, and of course, Lyra playing with her hands again.

"I got an apple for everybody, so, um. Eat up?" I say stupidly. I hand out an apple to everybody, including my self, and once I'm finished before everybody else, I go and get the trashg can from the kitchen.

"Okay, now that we no longer have an empty stomach, let's try to stand and walk."

Rainbow goes first, who was already trying to get used to it. Although she might have been trying the longest, it was still pretty difficult. The first time she almost face planted on a coner of my night stand, fortunately I was their to catch her. The second time she slipped a little, but then righted herfself. Her third time was the best, being able to walk slowly without tripping. Good enough.

"Okay, now who's next?" Applejack offers to go next, a look of determination on her face. Her first time, however, was a bit better than Rainbow's, landing in the cushiony chair that I sit in for my computer. Her second time was worse though, falling and pulling me down, her ending up on top. I sit there for a moment for two reasons. One being I'm kind of stuck under her. Two being that if I move, it will most likely make an inappropriate scene.

"You alright there, sugarcube?" Applejack asks me. I feel my cheeks burn up a bit from the position.

"No, no. I'm fine. Do you mind getting up though?" I ask, my face butning up a bit more. She nods and gets up. We try once more, me hoping that she'll get it right this time. My hopes came true as she was able to walk a little faster than Rainbow.

"Alright, who's ne-" my question was cut off by the sound of the front door opening.

Author's Note:

I apologize for the short chapter for two reasons. One being that this is not coming from any of the episodes, making less ideas. Two being that I started on making this a little late. The next chapter will include the following:

Finding a way back

Some hilarity

Maybe a bit of romance

Spells and dragon shouts

Hope you stay strong and stay tuned for the next chapter. Bye!

Griffin the Brush-off

Griffin the Brush-Off

I walk along the streets of Ponyville to find something to do. Why must I, a person who procrastinates, find something to do? Because I was pretty bored. That, and I wanted to get out of Fluttershy's cottage for a bit. It might seem nice with all those animals and the temperature being warm, but like I said before, I'm a cold-weathered person. And it kind of smells like a barn after a while.

"Have you seen Rainbow Dash?" a happy voice says behind me. I turn around to see Pinkie looking me in the eye, only a few inches away.

"Gah!" I shout, falling over. "Weren't you ever told it's rude to be in a pony's personal space? And no, I haven't seen Rainbow Dash." I get up and brush myself off.

"Okay then!" The pink mare continues hopping away, asking other ponies if they've seen RD. I might also invade other people's space sometimes, but I do that for fun. Go ahead, call me a hypocrite.

I stuff my hands back in my pockets so I don't have to worry about the weight of my arms. I look around and watch as Pinkie asks Twilight about Rainbow's whereabouts.

"Isn't she right up there?" Twilight asks as she points a hoof at the cloud directly above her. I turn my gaze to the cloud and find a blue flank with a rainbow tail protruding from said rump.

"Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie calls. The peagaus's head exits the cloud and frantically looking around for an exit. She chooses to go the opposite direction that Twilight and Pinkie are standing, leaving a rainbow dust cloud and destroying the cloud she was hiding in. Pinkie just hops after her, for some reason taking her time. I follow the trail of rainbow to find three clouds with holes in them, and the trail leading to Sweet Apple Acres.

"Do you know why she wants to see Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asks as me as she walks closer.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with Spike."

"What? Would she need Rainbow for something that involves Spike?"

"I'll give you two hints. Hiccups and too many letters."

"What are you talking abo-" she gets out before the sound of a fast objects erupts. I look up to see a rainbow streak fly over our heads.

"Now she chooses somewhere else to hide." The streak lands in the largest tree in Ponyville. "More preferably, your house."

"Why would she hide in the branches of my house?" the purple unicorn asks.

"Can you see in the branches?" I ask.

"No."

"But Pinkie can." As soon as I finish my sentence, the rainbow haired Pegasus dashes out of the tree, flying to an open field. Pinkie just bounces right past us.

"So how have you been, Twilight?"

"I've been fine, although I still can't believe your world knows about ours, yet we don't know about yours!"

"Yeah, it does seem strange."

"So how have you been, Christian?"

"To be honest, really bored. I think I need to get a job soon. That, or I can help train Spike with the shouts I know."

"I don't think that will be a good idea. He's been slacking a bit on his chores lately."

"Speaking of Spike, where is the little guy?"

"He's getting some scrolls I ordered from town hall."

"Ah. And that's where it'll happen."

"Where what will happen." Twilight asks as she raises a suspicious eyebrow.

"Nothing. Just tell him to drink water upside down or something." With that I start walking around. A weight on my left reminds me of the reason I came out here. I look down to my left to see the same sword I borrowed from before still attached to my side.

"Well, I've got to go get some quills so I can do an experiment I've got to work on. See you later?" I hear Twilight ask.

"Yeah, you go do that." I respond while looking around for the smith shop. I'm responded with a jingling a store's entrance bell. I spot the concrete store and begin my trek over there.

Wait an apple picking minute. If Pinkie's looking for Rainbow, then that means a new visitor is about to arrive in Ponyville soon. My organic thinking machine tells me. I stop dead in my tracks and think for a moment. Be armed, or be civil. Armed or civil? Fight, or talk it out? I choose my ever so wise choice and head back to the cottage I now reside in.

I can give it back later. Besides, I only have... a day left. I can give it back tomorrow. I go back on the path to Fluttershy's house/cottage/what ever you want to call it.

A few minutes later...

"Hi Fluttershy," I speak out to the Pegasus exiting her home. She's carrying a basket full of what seems to be fish food.

"Oh, hi Christian. I was just going to feed some of the aquatic animals down by one of the ponds. Would like like to come with? If that's okay with you." her quiet voice asks.

"Sure. I needed something to do anyways." And so we began walking towards the pond she was talking about. We arrive a good seven and three quarters of a minute there. I head to one side of the pond that is a bit like a horseshoe with a hand full of feed.

"Now, be gentle. The fish don't like loud noises." Fluttershy instructs. I nod and do my quiet walk over to the side I chose. A few fish a leaping out of the water, most likely catching a few amount of the bugs here. I take a few pieces of the fish food and toss it out to the aquatic animals. A turtle soon joins into the feeding session.

The animals soon come closer to shore, forgetting about the bugs out on the water. I take another handful and toss it closer to them. Soon, they're pretty close to land, save for the turtle because he is on the ground. A squeak interrupts the calmness. I turn to the left and see a turtle that looks like he has a few purple or red patches on his shell. I look closer and see that his eyes look a little too much like buttons. Wait a minu-

A stream of water hits me on the nose, the stream continuing for about ten seconds. When it stops, I open my eyes to see water leaking from the turtle mouth. I do a quick check on my body. Face is completely soaked, top of shirt is wet, hair is dripping slightly, and my back is fine.

Laughter is heard by me, the noise on the other side of the pond. I turn my sight up to see Rainbow and Pinkie rolling around while holding their sides. I shake my fist in anger, but end up smiling and chuckling myself.

"Oh my goodness, are you okay?" a quiet voice asks me.

"Yeah, just the victim of a prank. Are we done here?" I ask as I start patting down my long hair. Time to get a haircut soon.

"In a little bit. We have a few more turtles and fish to feed." Fluttershy says as she takes a few more flakes in her hoof and tosses them out to the water. I follow her example, and soon we're finished.

The duo that involves a pony and I make it back to the residence we live in, eat some quick edible dinner, and get ready for bed. As soon as I get my shirt off, I place it out on the open window sill so it can dry off. I remove the sword that I forgot was attached to my side and place it on the dresser, and climb in bed. Don't want to see Fluttershy in my half naked body or anything.

The next morning...

I get up, thankfully and heart-breakingly not to Fluttershy, and take my shirt from the window sill. I put it on and get an immediate shiver sent down my back. It'll warm up soon. Besides, it feels a bit relaxing. I head downstairs, get a couple of apples to eat, and head out the door. I place one apple in my pocket and take a bite out of the other one.

Instead of receiving the crunch of the normal apple, I also get a sound like a deflating balloon. I remove the fruit from my mouth and look at the apple. Okay, so I don't have half a worm in it, so that's good. I look up from the red food to see Pinkie slowly blowing on one of those party whistle things. I do a slow jog up to her.

"What's the matter, Pinkie?"

"Oh, it's just that I had plans with Rainbow Dash today, but she's out flying with her old flight school friend. I hope they're having fun." Pinkie says as she looks up to the clouds. I look up as well to see a blur and brown blur fly by. The brown blur stops to reveal a white feathered and brown furred griffin.

"What the heck is that?!" the griffin asks. The blue blue stops as well to reveal what's behind door number two... Rainbow Dash!

"Oh, that's just a human."

"A human? Looks more like dinner to me." Gilda says. I instinctively reach to my left with my right, only to meet an apple to my hip and nothing else. Great, I left the sword inside.

"Hey, we don't eat ponies here. Or humans." Rainbow retorts.

"Come on, Dash. I can't always eat hay. I gotta have some meat," the griffin complains.

"You do know you're not the only thing here that can eat meat, right?" I ask from down below. The griffin turns her attention back to my with what I assume is a raised eyebrow.

"Really? Then why are you eating that apple?" Gilda questions as she flies closer to the ground. I take another bite.

"I can eat plants and meat. Why, got a problem with that?" I ask with a bit too much force. I take another bite for some juicy fruit, but get the core of the apple. I look for Pinkie, but see that she is no longer there.

"No. But I can see you face need some redecorating." She grabs my neck with one of her claws and raises the other on in a fist. I gag a little then look Gilda in the face. I stare at her face for a second then proceed to utter some words that I will forever regret.

"Why is it that I stare death in the face, that I find it beautiful?" Gilda lowers her fist and blushes slightly. She drops me from the ground and turns around, wings ready to fly off.

"Forget this." The griffin takes off, already a good distance in a matter of seconds. I push myself up and notice my apple on the ground. I frown and pick it up to examine it. Eh, it's almost done anyways.

I chuck the apple as far as I can to the Everfree behind the house. I notice Rainbow Dash just staring at me confusedly. "What?"

"What did you mean by that? When you called Gilda beautiful?" Dash drops onto the ground next to me.

"I just know that 'cool' people or ponies can't handle their emotions really well, so if I complimented her, then she would most likely get somewhere else and think things over." I take out the other apple in my pocket begin eating it.

"Really?" I chuckle through a mouth full of apple.

"Nope! I just made that up! Gotta think quickly." Rainbow just tools her eyes and flies off to where Gilda was. That reminds me. I need to figure out how to become a pony again. I swallow the apple bits in my mouth and begin walking towards Twilight's house.

After a few minutes, I make it into town, where I see Pinkie also heading to the library. Curse you forgetful mind, for I cannot remember what she's doing there. I enter the library not too shortly after.

"But I bet if I have, then she wouldn't have been as mean and nasty as Gilda!" Pinkie says as I open the door.

"Is now a bad time?" I ask. I start backing up to the door in case it is.

"Oh no, we were just talking about this griffin Pinkie keeps talking about. And you know what I think Pinkie Pie?" Twilight says to me then the earth pony.

"Hm?" Pinkie asks.

"I think... you're jealous."

"Jealous?!"

"Ah, green with envy. Well, in your case, pink with envy." Spike says from the stairs with a book in claw. I walk over to some shelves and look around for any spell books.

"We'll, yes, jealous. Listen Pinkie, I don't want to upset you, but just because Rainbow Dash has another friend doesn't make Gilda a grump. I mean, perhaps it's you, Pinkie, who needs to improve her attitude."

"Improve my attitude?! But I... eh... it's Gilda who... are you seri-UGH!" Pinkie shouts. I find the speeds section, but where can I find beginners?

SLAM!

A book falls on my head as the door slams from the angry mare. I look at the assaulting object that hit my cranium, and smile.

"'Spells for beginning unicorn colts and fillies'. Perfect!" I open the book the the first chapter and begin reading by myself.

Chapter One: The Origins of Magic

Magic and spells were created a long time ago...

Nope.

Chapter Two: Understanding Magic

Any creature who's body is filled with magic will be able to find an outlet for the power. Unicorns, for example, have their horns to power the magic within them. However, other ponies like Earth Ponies and Pegasi do not have an outlet, so their bodies have adapted to pool less magic.

For creatures who do have an outlet for magic often have appendages that are used not often or not at all. In order to power up that appendage, one must focus entirely on it and use their minds.

I look at my hand and flex the fingers a little. I guess I can use these. I close my eyes and focus entirely on it. Magic... Magic... Food-NO!... Magic... I feel my have tingle a little. I open my eyes to be welcomed to a new sight in my palm. A multicolored, grapefruit sized, shifting ball in my hand. I take a closer look and see that it looks as if it's made from liquid rainbow.

Based on the magic orb at the end of the appendage, it should differ from other's magic orbs. For example, if the size of it is the size of a grape, it means that you are focusing, but you aren't giving off enough magic. If it is the size of an orange, then you are doing it perfectly, enough focus and enough magic has been given off. If it is the size of a grapefruit or larger, then you have given off to much magic and must close it off immediately.

I quickly make a fist, the other disappearing in droplets that soon vanish.

For the color, if it is red, then you have destructive magic, meaning that you shouldn't use it too much or will no longer have a house. If it is golden, then you have the magic of restoration, meaning that you can help with doctors or medical things well. If blue, then you have passive magic, meaning that your magic is used for most of the basic needs. Purple means you have illusion magic, meaning you can fool with other's minds, and green means that you were given alteration magic which can change the world around you.

If you have more then one color, then you have both of those types of magics.

Okay, so I have many types of magic, but I give off too much. But what about transformations?

I put down the book and get bored, so I decide to play with my fingers a bit. It's he a whole lot more boring if they weren't double-jointed.

"What are you doing?" Twilight asks. I start doing the wave with my fingers.

"Messing with my fingers. Most people can't do this because their hands aren't double jointed, while I am." I begin to make a dog out of my fingers.

"Why aren't other humans double-joint-" she's cut off as a bright light envelopes both of us. I bring my arm back up to my face to block it, but it proves futile. When I bring it down, my vision is filled with a charcoal colored cylinder-like object.

"Hey look. I'm a pony. Fantastic. What was that agin Twi?" I ask.

"Never mind. But can you please put that book back?"

"Sure, just gotta fly up there and- WING CRAMP!" True to what I said, as I opened my wings the muscles cramped up. I try everything to move the expend ages around before ending up twisting them around each other, which Twilight's face turned to one of shock.

"How can you do that?" the purple unicorn asks.

"Uh... double-jointed?" My vision is once again filled with a bright light. I open my eyes again to see hands under me.

"You're human again? But how?"

"Magic!" I exclaim, using jazz hands for emphasis. So it seems that making a dog with my hands turns me into a pony, and unnaturally bending my wings turns me human.

I pick up the book that was on the ground with me and place it where I find an empty space in the shelf. "Well, I've got to go. Griffin business." I take the sword that I placed on the table upon entering and exit the library.

I walk into the town square to find something to do. Upon entering the town square, I spot Gilda shove an apple in her mouth. I look around some more, ponies are talking and selling/buying, and Fluttershy is walking some ducks down the road. I watch as Gilda starts walking towards the butter yellow Pegasus. Aw hell naw.

I sneakily walk up to the griffin's back, the hybrid not noticing I'm there.

"Hey!" Gilda shouts as she stops. I silently remove the sword from my sheath.

"Oh, please excuse me." Fluttershy says.

"I'm walkin' here!" Gilda shouts as she leans closer.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I-I-I was just-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Gilda says with a high-patched voice. "Why don't you just watch where you're going, doofus!?"

Must.. Resist... Urge... To... Rip off... Head.

The ducks fly off, knowing there was about to be trouble. Yeah, from me. I cross my arms, the sword somehow angled to not cut me.

"Bu-bu-but I-..." Fluttershy stammers. Gilda breaths I. Real deep. I move closer to her head, her eyes closed.

"If you want to keep your head, I suggest walking away now." I whisper. However they fall upon deaf ears as Gilda roars right into the face of Fluttershy.

Fluttershy runs off in the other direction, tears streaming from her face. ... My feels.

"Oh please. All these lame ponies are driving my buggy. I gotta bail." Gilda attempts to fly off, but stops immediately as her lion tail is gripped by my hand.

"Hey! Lt go you freak!" She tries pulling me off, but the rage in my chest forces me to hold on.

"Go... Apologize... Now." I say between grit teeth.

"What? To that lame pony? No way!"

"Then you leave me no choice." I yank on her tail, bringing her to the ground ungracefully. She gets up and raises a fist, ready to punch my face in. She pounces on me, her fist raised even higher.

"Fus..."

"What?"

"... Ro..."

"Dude, talk normally!" I shrug and shake my head no.

"DAH!"

The griffin goes flying to the direction of somewhere out of Ponyville.

"No hard feelings! Oh wait, yes there are!" I yell to the griffin flying in the distance. She goes up so high, that she's practically a dot. Is she light? And did I hear a ding?

"What'd you do that for?" Pinkie asks me.

"No one treats Fluttershy like that. And that called for extreme measures. What would you have done?"

"Extreme measures. Only Pinkie Pie Style."

"Okay. I'll be there. Only as a pony. It'll be a surprise!" I say to Pinkie before running off to the cottage. I sure hope Fluttershy's okay.

I walk into the cottage and hear the sounds of crying. "Fluttershy? You okay?"

I look over to the couch to see Fluttershy's hooves over her head, tears staining her face. Angel looks up from Fluttershy's mane and glares angrily at me. He hops off and charges at me, launching into the air with a Kung-fu kick.

I reach out and grab his foot, stopping him instantly. "Hey. I'm not cruel enough to go out and make Fluttershy cry. That one of the seven brony sins." I drop him on the ground and walk over to Fluttershy, who is stilll bawling on the couch.

"Hey, you okay?" I ask as I sit down. Fluttershy instantly grabs onto me with both hooves, staining my now warmed up shirt with tears. I pet her mane, shushing her every often.

"She-she's so s-scary." She whimpers out. I feel her shudders lessen every second.

"She kinda is. Although I took care of her." I wipe some of the tears from her eyes, drying her face a little. She looks up, still misty eyed. She hugs closer to me.

"Thank you. But you didn't hurt her, right?"

"Unless she forgot how to fly, then no." She laughs a little then puts her head back in my lap. I continue running my fingers through her mane, the silk like hair massaging my fingers. After a few minutes, I decide to speak up.

"Wanna go to a party?"

"What's it for?" Fluttershy asks as she lifts her head up from my lap.

"It's for Gilda."

"Oh, I don't know. I don't like Gilda too much."

"Neither do I. But I'm still going. Trust me, you're gonna like it. I can tell."

"O-okay." She gets up from the couch and I follow.

"Wait. Watch this." Fluttershy turns around to see what I mean, but what she gets is a bright light. As it dies down, she removes her hoof from her face to see me, the Pegasus I was after defeating Nightmare Moon.

Pomf

Her wings spread out as she looks me over. I look back to see my wings, much larger than hers. I try to pull the down, but remember that I don't know how to use these muscles.

"Uh, okay!" I say as I try walking to the door.

THUD!

Right. Forgot how to walk again. I push myself up and steady myself. Okay. Right foreleg. Left hindleg. Left foreleg. Right hindleg. I continue the process and eventually get to the point that I can trot.

"Alright Fluttershy, let's-" I look over to Fluttershy to see her still looking at where I turned into a pony, her wings still spread and a blush on her face. With a roll of the good ol' eyes, a put myself under Fluttershy's side and lift her onto my back. She stays perfectly still, as if she were a statue.

"Let's go then, shall we?" I walk out the door with a solidified pegasus on my back.

I walk in the door to Sugarcube Corner to be greeted with Pinkie.

"Welcome!"

"Not now!*gasp* Too tired from not knowing how to walk and extra weight!*gasp*" I quickly make it over to the punch bowl and set Fluttershy down. What I don't notice at first is Fluttershy smiling, wings no longer down, and no blush. Clever girl.

"Thank you." She hugs me quickly before going to talk to Twilight. I make it to the punch bowl and pour myself a cup, not caring about how I don't know how I'm up using my mouth. I down the beverage in one to and sigh with satisfaction.

"You've met Gilda, right? What's she like?" hear Twilight ask.

"Oh, um well... I'll tell you later Twilight." Fluttershy responds. I pour myself another drink as I hear Pinkie continue greeting ponies.

"Um, Pinkie Pie, about this party for Gilda. Um, do you really think its a good idea?" I drink my beverage a little slower this time.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about mean old Gilda. Your Auntie Pinkie Pie's got it all taken care of!" I choke a little on my punch.

"I'm a year older than you." Fluttershy says to the party pony. I love that line so much. I turn to the door to see it be opened by a griffin.

"Gilda! I'm so honored to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie parties! And I really, truly, sincerely hope you feel welcomed amongst us ponyfolk!" Pinkie holds out her hoof for Gilda to shake it. She does so, but ends up getting shocked by Pinkie's hoof buzzer.

She falls on the ground, wall-eyed a her mouth opened. Pinkie starts laughing and reveals the pranking device attached to her hoof. Rainbow starts laughing and so do a few other ponies.

"Oh Pinkie Pie. The old hoof shake buzzer! You are a scream!" Rainbow exclaims.

"Yeah, ha ha, good one Pinkie Pie." Gilda says unsurely.

"Come one, G. I'll introduce you to some of my other friends." Dash says as she walks into the group of ponies.

"Right behind ya Dash!" Gilda shouts, then says something to Pinkie that I can't hear. I go back to the cup in my hoof, suddenly interested at the ice cubes. I drink some more, but his time get an ice cube in my mouth. Sweet frozen success!

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Gilda! A long time dear friend of Rainbow Dash! Let's honor her and welcome her to Ponyville." Pinkie announces as she hugs Gilda then dashes back in the crowd. Gilda's about to get angry at Pinkie, but stops and smiles meekly as every pony cheers for Gilda. Rainbow trots over and puts a hoof around Gilda's shoulder.

"Help yourself!" Pinkie announces. I trot over and reach into Pinkie's mane for something. No... No... Aha! I pull it a cigarette. I don't smoke, but this is special.

"Vanilla lemon drops! Don't mind if I do." Gilda says as she grabs one and tosses it in her mouth. Her eyes immediately close and her mouth/beak stretch out. Her mouth opens and a stream of fire pours out. Pinkie takes out a marshmallow on a stick and puts it in the flame while I put the end of the cigarette in the fire as well. After a second, I pull it out and hold it in my hoof.

I run over to the window and toss it out, yelling, "Don't smoke, kids!"

I look back to see Gilda pouring a drink on her chest. Many of the ponies are laughing now. "We'll, what do ya know? Pepper in the lemon drops, and punch in the dribble glass!" Pinkie points out.

"Ha! Priceless. Priceless!" Rainbow says through laughter. Gilda dashes over to a real cup of punch and downs it.

"'Sup?" I ask with a deeper voice.

"What do you want?" Gilda asks angrily. I shake my head and look away.

"Hey G! Look! Presents!" Rainbow calls out. Gilda flies to the presents with an excited look on her face. He grabs the cylindrical on and pulls the ribbon off with her beak. She gets a face-full of fake snakes, her feathers sticking on end making her look poofy.

"Spittin' snakes! Ha, some pony pulled that prank on me last month!" Applejack tells Rarity.

"Ha ha. I bet I know who that was." Gilda deadpans. She glances over to Pinkie.

"You do?" Pinkie flutters her eyes with innocence.

The party continues on, Fluttershy conducting the birds to sing a song. Everyone's enjoying it as Pinkie comes out with a cake.

"Cake time, every pony!" She announces.

"Hey, can I blow out the candles?" Spike asks.

"Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spike. She is the guest of honor after all." Twilight tells him.

"And you're a dragon. Your fire would probably relight the candles." I point out. Gilda comes out of no where and elbows Spike onto the ground.

"Exactly!" The griffin says. She takes in a deep breath before blowing out the candles, a smile written on her face. The candles relight. She takes another deep breath before blowing them out again, this time she looks winded. All the ponies, including me, are laughing at the display. She continues blowing out the candles, the candles continue to relight.

"Ha ha ha ha. Relighting birthday candles. I love that prank! What a classic!" Spike says.

"Now I wonder who could've done that?" Pinkie asks as she looks around.

"Yeah. I wonder." Gilda glares at Pinkie with the intensity of a thousand suns.

"Mm. Who cares? This cake is amazing!" Spike pops out of the cake, some icing and a candle on his green scales.

"Spike!" Twilight shouts.

"What? It's great! Try some!" Spike says through a mirthful of cake.

"We would, but you practically dug a mine tunnel through it!" I put my two bits in.

"Sorry." Spike says, shrugging.

"Hey G, you're not upset about some silly candles, are you?" Dash asks.

"No way Dash! Like I said, I'm down with a good prank."

"Come on! Let's have some cake." RD runs over to the cake. I go over to the cake too in search of something to eat. I fond a spot and take a bite out of it, smiling because it's delicious.

"Hey y'all, it's pin the tail on the pony!" Applejack announces. "Let's play!"

"Oh, my favorite game! Can I go first? Can I have the purple tail?" Rarity asks. She reaches down to pick it up with her mouth, but gets it snatched away by Gilda. What a bitch.

"We'll I am the guest of honor, and I'll have the purple tail."

"Yeah! Gilda should definitely go first!" Pinkie says as Spike pulls out a blindfold. "Let's get you blindfolded."

"Hey, what are you doing?" Gilda demands an answer from Spike as he puts the blindfold on.

"Getting you blindfolded. Duh. Haven't you ever played this game?" My deep voice asks.

"Hey. Shut up." Gilda says to a wall. Pinkie spins Gilda around really fast in one go, nearly making her a tornado.

"We're spinning you around and around so you can in the tail on the pony." Pinkie starts pushing Gilda towards the poster with the pony on it. "Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail!"

"Now just straight ahead and pin the tail." Gilda mocks. "Huh, yeah right. This is another prank, isn't it? Well I'm going this way!" Gilda starts walking the complete opposite direction. I face hoof at her stupidity.

"W-wait! The poster is this-" Pinkie stops as Gilda slips on some icing I might have dropped there on accident. Gilda is sent sliding into the kitchen, still blindfolded, and screaming. She crashes through the singeing double doors of the kitchen.

CRASH!

Gilda comes waddling out a few seconds later, covered in icing, and the tail on her beak looking like a mustache.

"Uh, Gilda? You pinned the tail on the wrong end." Pinkie points out. I put a hoof to my mouth to stop myself from laughing out loud, although every pony else doesn't stop. Gilda shakes off the tail and icing in a loud roar, silencing the laughing ponies. She flies into the air, anger written on her face again.

"This is your idea of a good time? I've never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life! And Pinkie Pie, you!" She points a claw at Pinkie.

"You're the queen of lame-os with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think you could make me lose my cool? Well, Dash and I have ten times the amount of cool as you all put together! Come on, Dash. We're bailing on this pathetic scene."

She starts walking towards the door, but stops when Dash isn't following. "Come on, Rainbow Dash. I said, we're leaving!"

"You know Gilda? I was the one who set up all those 'weak' pranks at this party." I silently walk up to Gilda, whispering 'Ohhhh.'

"... What?!" Gilda shouts in surprise. Pinkie also 'Ohh's' in surprise.

"So I guess I'm queen lame-o." Rainbow says while walking in front of Pinkie.

"Come on, Dash." Gilda starts begging. "You're joshing me!"

"They weren't all meant for you specifically. It was just unlucky that you set them all off." Rainbow continues.

"I really wanted to do the candles one." I say.

"I shoulda known! That dribble cup had Rainbow Dash written all over it." Pinkie says to Spike.

"No. Way. It was Pinkie Pie! She set up this party to trip me up! To make a fool of me!" Gilda says, attempting to defend herself. It fails.

"Me? I threw this party to improve your attitude! I thought a good party would turn that frown upside down!" Pinkie twists her her head upside down to emphasize. I back away a bit, creeped out by how flexible she is.

"And you sure didn't need help of making a fool of yourself." Rainbow continues. "You know, I never thought this was how ,y old friend would treat my new friends. If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should find some new cool friends some place else."

Gilda thinks about it before flaring her wings in anger. "Oh yeah? Well you... you... you are such a... flip-flop! Cool one minute and lame the next. When you decide to not be lame anymore, gimme a call." She walks out the door of the bakery, slamming it behind her.

"But phones haven't been invented yet!" I shout to her.

"Not cool." Rainbow says.

"Wow! Talk about a party pooper!" Spike exclaims. All the ponies start mumbling to themselves. I think about my next move before walking back out the door.

I look around for the griffin before hearing soft crying. I look up to the shy and spot a cloud with a lion's tale sticking out.

"Hey!" I shout. The tail disappears before an eagle's head pops out, the eyes wet and a bit puffy.

"What do you want?!" Gilda shouts.

"Can you come down please?" I ask with my fake voice.

"Why? Can't you fly?"

"I haven't learned yet!" She rolls her eyes and glides down.

"What do you want, dweeb?" I twist my wings around each other again, making Gilda wince. A bright light flashes before I look at the griffin. Her face is covered with the expression of surprise.

"You again?! What do you want?" She opens her wings again to get ready to take off. I close my hand and focus my magic, giving off less than last time. A purple, orange-sized ball is floating above my hand.

"For what it's worth, I'm gonna give you a song in apology." Before she can object, I throw the ball onto her head, a song playing in my head.

I walk back into the bakery, forgetting to change pony. No pony seems to care though as the party continues. So, a recap of today: Met Gilda, ate apples, Fus Ro Dah'd Gilda, got Gilda outta town, comforted Fluttershy, and gave Gilda her own theme.

10/10 would restart day for fun.

Author's Note

Hey guys! Sorry that I haven't updated this yet! Been busy with my other story and I've been procrastinating. Now, instead of putting in the actual show's name, I'm going to show you the next name of the chapter. I'll let you figure out which it is.

Dovahkind... Dragonshy!
A sleepover gone wrong
Zebras and Poison Joke

Who you gonna call?

Who You Gonna Call?

"Would you like some more tea?" I ask with a very posh accent.

"Why, yes please," Fluttershy says with an equal accent. We both laugh a little at the joke. I clear my throat and pour the Pegasus some more of the well known drink. She gladly accepts it and takes a sip. I pour myself some also and put a few cubes of sugar in it. I stir it a bit so that it's not so grainy and take a sip.

"This is delightful." I continue. Fluttershy nods in agreement. We both share another laugh. I check my recently bought watch and stand up.

"Sorry Miss Fluttershy, but I have to go now." I down the rest of my tea and pick up the little saucer that comes with it.

"Hey!"

I look up to Fluttershy and see that she is also help clean up the little tea party we had... Don't judge me. I like tea. He start rolling up the picnic blanket.

"Hey!"

I look around again and notice a small dust cloud in the distance. I put a hand over my eyes and see two spots rapidly heading towards us. One of the two spots is teal, the other being dark orange. Hey look. It's Snips and Snails.

"Hey!" I hear Snips shout. I give a sigh and continue rolling up the blanket. As soon as I'm done, the two colts are barely ten feet away from me. The both life to a stop, Snails comically springing back and forth. Then again, this is a cartoon world.

"Hey! Didn't you hear me?" Snips asks.

"Yes, we heard you." I motion to myself and Fluttershy. "What is it you two needed?"

"Come on! There's a new unicorn in town, and she's got more magical powers than any unicorn ever!" Snips shouts with excitement.

"I can already guess who that is," I grumble under my breath. I pick up the blanket as Fluttershy picks up the platter with the tea stuffs in it. "We'll be in town square in a bit. Just hurry along now," I tell the two colts. They jump up excitedly and and sprint back to town.

The butter yellow Pegasus and I make it back to the cottage in a short amount of time, mainly because it was in her backyard. I put the blanket in the closet while she puts the platter in the kitchen. I make a dog out of my fingers and turn pony, my vision slightly swirling.

"Come on. Let's go see this unicorn." I call out. Fluttershy walks in, but quickly turns around to avoid looking at me. Curse my large wings. Did I forget to mention that large wings are also sexy in Equestria?

With a roll of my eyes, I lead Fluttershy to the Town Square, where many ponies are chatting in a crowd around a caravan. I quickly make it behind the caravan and turn human. Thankfully, there is also a wall behind the mobile stage. I cast some purple magic on the ground and turn pony again. I make it back to the crowd, where I see Twilight and Spike joining the group. I squeeze in between Applejack and Rarity.

"Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" A voice shouts from the caravan. The stage open up like a pop-out book. A spark sets off, sending smoke flying everywhere. The smoke clears to reveal a sky blue pony with a cornflower mane. She has a wizard's hat, with a matching cape on her back. The crowd 'oohs' and 'ahhs' at her entry.

"Meh." I say.

"Watch in awe, as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feat of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!" Trixie announces as she stands on her hind hooves. Fireworks all around her go off, creating beautiful scenery around her. Too bad I'm not affected by stuff like that.

"My, my, my. What boasting!" Rarity says.

"Come on! No pony's as magical as Twi-" Spike cuts himself off as he notices he's in front of Rarity. "Twi-Twi-Oh! *cough* Uh, hey Raity! I, uh-mustache!" Spike runs off back into the crowd. Rarity looks to me for an answer to which I shrug.

"There's nothing wrong with being talented, is there?" Twilight asks.

"Only if you don't boast about it. Just makes you look a bit... stupid." I say. I look back to Trixie as she teleports in a bouquet of flowers.

"Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make them better than the rest of us." Rarity states. Twilight's ears flatten against her head a little.

"Yeah, especially when you got me around being better than the rest of us!" Rainbow exclaims. Applejack gets up in her face with a nasty glare. "I mean, uh, yeah! Magic, shmagic. Boo!"

"Well, well, well. It seems we have some neigh-sayers in the audience!" Did... Did she just actually whinny? I never noticed that. "Who is so ignorant to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they are in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?!"

I look around the crowd a little bit, not finding a wizard's hat anywhere. "I don't see Starswirl the Bearded." I state. The few ponies around me laugh a bit. Trixie just glares at me, which I return with a smile.

"Pfft. Just who does she think she is?" Rarity asks nobody in particular.

"Yeah, since we all know that Twilight here is-"

"Spike! Shh!" Twilight interrupts the dragon. She pushes Spike out of the crowd to speak to him privately. Some more fireworks go off on the stage. Dash doesn't approve of her show, presenting it by flying up into Trixie's personal space.

"So, the Great and Powerful Trixie. What makes you think you're so awesome anyway?" The Pegasus questions the magician.

"Why, only Trixie has the magic capable of vanquishing the dreaded Ursa Major!" Trixie announces the whole crowd. So,e of the fireworks explode, making a colorful representation of a bear with a star atop its head.

"What?" Snips drones.

"No way!" Snails continues.

"When all hope was lost," Trixie continues. "The ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic, vanquished the Ursa Major and banished it to its cave, deep within the Everfree Fprset!" A small figure made from some more magically enhanced fireworks creates a small version of Trixie. The figure holds a wand and, with horribly animations, waved the wand around. The picture of the bear darkened before exploding into pretty little sparks.

"So sweet!" Snips and Snails shout.

"Meh." I drone again.

"That settles it." Snips sticks out his hoof to prove his point.

"Trixie truly is the most talented, most magical, most awesome unicorn in Ponyville." Snails says as he motions to Trixie.

"No, in all of Equstria!" Snips butts in.

"How do you know? You didn't see it! And besides, Twil-Hmmf hmf!" Spike's rant gets cut off by a magically appeared zipper from Twilight. Trixie gives a delightful laugh from her two colt admirers.

"It's true, my enthusiastic little admirers! Trixie most certainly is the best in Ponyville!" Crickets chirp throughout the crowd. "Don't believe me the Great and Powerful Trixie? Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians. Anything you can do, I can do better."

I highly doubt that, I think to myself.

"Any takers? Any one? Hm? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine that has ever lived!" The boaster stands on her hind hooves, fireworks going off all around her.

Spike unzips the zipper still on his mouth and gets on his knees, holding onto Twilight's hooves. "Please! She's unbearable! You just gotta show her! Please!"

"There's no way I'm going to use my magic now, Spike," I hear Twilight whisper to Spike, "Especially since-"

"Hmm. How about... you?" Trixie points at hoof directly at the purple unicorn. Twilight cowers away a little, hopeful to escape the scene.

"Well how about it?" Trixie asks as she walks closer to the edge. Just a little closer... "Hmm? Is there anything you can do that the Great and Powerful Trixie can't?"

Twilight looks around nervously. "I-I..."

"Well little hayseed?" Trixie taunts further

"That's it!" Applejack shouts. "Ah can't stand fer no more o' this!" She walks up onto the stage.

"You show her AJ!" Spike encourages.

"Yeah, kick her flank with her skills!" I add.

The earth pony somehow attaches a long piece of rope to her tail. "Can your magical powers do this?" Applejack asks as she begins doing amazing tricks with that lasso, muck like hopping through the hole, or spinning it around herself. She finishes it off by grabbing an apple from a tree with the rope and pulling it towards herself. The apple flies from the grip of the rope and into the pony's mouth, who promptly eats it in one bite. The ponies in the crowd cheer for her performance.

"Top that, missy," AJ says as she crosses one pair of legs over the other.

"Oh ye of little talent, watch and be amazed at the power of Trixie!" She removes her wizard's hat, revealing her horn which glows a hot pink. The unicorn picks up one of the ends of rope and levitates it in front of Applejack's face. The earth pony stares intently at it, entranced by its movements.

"It's a trap!" I shout. But it's too late, for Trixie had already begun wrapping the other end around an apple. The entrancing end of the rope suddenly shot out and hog tied Applejack, the other end stuffing an apple in her mouth. The crowd 'Oohs' at the act.

"Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie prevails!" Trixie announces. I help Applejack get the rope off of her before she face planted with the ground.

"There's no need to go strutting around like that!" Rainbow interjects.

"Oh?" Trixie asks.

"That's. My job!" The Pegasus flies into the air. She flies right into the blades of a nearby windmill, causing them to spin wildly. She uses the built up momentum to launch into the air, punching holes through many clouds along the way. She flies right up in front of the Sun, her form merely a silhouette. The daredevil dashes back to the ground, collecting water droplets from the clouds she just injured. The Pegasus flies right back along the windmill before launching onto the stage, skidding to a hault in front of the show off unicorn. The water behind her greets her from behind, crashing into her back and forming a mini rainbow.

"That don't call me Rainbow and Dash for nothin'." She states. The crowd cheers even more wildly at this performance.

"When Trixie is through with you, the only thing they'll call you is Loser." The unicorn fires up her horn again. She blasts a beam of magic at the Pegasus still posing proudly. The mini rainbow above her comes alive and spins around Dash quickly, creating a mini, colorful tornado.

"Whoa!" Rainbow cries as she flies erratically through the air. She continues flying until meeting the ground, the tornado slowing down the spin. "I think... I'm gonna be sick," she says weakly.

"Seems like any pony with a dash of good sense would think twice before tussling with the Great Trixie." She creates a small gray cloud behind Rainbow as AJ and I help her up. The mini cloud zaps Rainbow in the flank, eliciting a frightful shriek. The crowd and Trixie laugh at the scene.

"What we need is another unicorn to challenge her. Someone with some magic of her own?" Spike suggests as he nudges Twilight.

"Yeah, a unicorn to show this unicorn who's boss!" Rainbow exclaims.

"A real unicorn to unicorn tussle!" Applejack agrees. I sit there for a moment before speaking up.

"Sorry guys, but I'm a Pegasus at the moment." The three look at me quizzically. "And I can't use magic as a Pegasus. Other than turning to human, which I will choose when to do."

"What are you talking about?" Rainbow asks.

I whisper to my fellow Pegasus, "I can turn human if I do something with my wings, which you might find uncomfortable."

"Enough. Enough all of you!" Rarity interjects. "I take your hint, but Rarity is above such nonsense. Rainbow Dash and Applejack may behave like ruffians, but Rarity conducts herself with beauty and grace."

"Ooh, what's the matter?" Trixie asks. "Afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane?"

Rarity is dead silent for a second before glaring. "Oh, it. Is. On!" She whispers. She walks onto stage, briskly trotting past the show mare. "You may think you're tough with your so called powers, but there is more to ,aficionado than your brutish ways. A unicorn needs to be more than just muscle." He horn glows light blue as she grips a curtain with her magic. "A unicorn needs to have style!" The cloth spins rapidly around her until stopping in the form of a beautiful dress, her mane also changed than from before. "A unicorn's not a unicorn without beauty and grace."

Trixie frowns before her horn lighting up, a mischievous smile on her face.

"Rarity won't let Trixie get the best of her! She's strong, she's beautiful, she's-" a light flashes before the crowd. Everypony stares in horror at the sight they see, gasping from all the mouths within the vicinity.

"Quick! I need a mirror! Get me a mirror! What did she do to my hair? I know she did something terrible to my hair!" Rarity shrieks.

"Nothing!" Answered Twilight.

"It's fine!" From Rainbow.

"It's gorgeous!" Applejack tried.

"It's green." Spike and I deadpanned. The Pegasus, earth pony, and unicorn stare at us both angrily, causing us to back away.

Rarity stares at her mane with tear filled eyes. "No... Green hair! Not green hair!" She jumps off the stage and gallops away. "Such an awful, awful color!" She cried. A pony with green hair glared at her as she ran by.

"Well, I never!" Carrot Top exclaimed.

"Well Twilight, I guess it's up to you." Spike demanded. "Either that, or Christian over there tries something." I shrugged and thought over my plans with the show off. "Come on, show her what you're made of!"

The ponies stare at the librarian. "W-what do you mean? I-I'm nothing special."

"Yes you are! You're better than her!" Spike argued.

"I'm not better than anyone!" Twilight retorted as she nervously looked around.

"Ha! You think you're better than the Great and Powerful Trixie? You think you have more magical talent? Well come on. Show Trixie what you've got!" Trixie smiled evilly at Twilight. Okay, almost my time to shine. "Show us all," Trixie continued.

"Who, me? I'm just your run-of-the-mill citizen of Ponyville! No powerful magic here. I, uh, I think I hear my laundry calling. Sorry, gotta go!" Twilight runs off, leaving a small dust cloud.

"Twilight?" Spike says.

"Ha! Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself to be the most amazing unicorn in all of Equestria! Was there any ever doubt?" Trixie starts walking behind the curtains.

"Wait!" I shout. The magician stops and turns to look at me.

"What is it you want?" She asks boringly.

"I bet you can't perform something I can." I challenge.

"Oh really? And what is that, some kind of amazing stunt?"

"Actually, I don't know how to fly yet, so no." Trixie raises an eyebrow before bursting out laughing.

"Oh this is too rich! A Pegasus who can't fly? Priceless!" She laughs, whinnying a bit even. I trot up onto the stage.

"Guess what? I may not know how to fly, and I'm not a unicorn, but I can perform more magic than you can."

"Impossible! You don't even have a horn!" Trixie announces seriously.

"I don't need no dang horn," I pronounce incorrectly. Why? Because I can. "Just let me get my fingers."

"Fingers?"

"Fingers." I spread my wings and turn to the crowd. "If you are squeamish with your wings, I suggest you turn away right now." 2/3 of the pegasi either cover their eyes or turn around. I proceed to twist my wings around each other, a couple of pops resounding through the bones. So relaxing.

"What are yo-" Trixie never finished, for a bright light burst forth from my body. She covered her eyes to protect them, but the light only lasted a couple of seconds. She removes her hoof from her eyes to stare at me with wide eyes.

"Wha-who-whe-why-how-what are you?" She stuttered. I put a fist to my open palm and crack some of my knuckles. She shivers a bit from the noise.

"A human," I reply casually. I pop my other set of knuckles, then my neck. "So we ready to do some magic?" I ask.

"But you still don't have a horn!" She protested.

"Like I said, I don't need a horn. Now, what is it you wanted to challenge me to?"

"Um, Trixie doesn't know. What is it you said you could so? Other than transforming."

"Boy, it's a good thing I thought ahead!" I walk off the stage, grab the purple ball of magic, then walk back onto the wooden platform.

"Here, I got some magic." I hold it up and poke my finger into it. A piano song starts playing.

Sideburns...

Nope. Let's see, if I add some more magic, I can change the type of song. I pour a bit of more magic into the orb, and notice Trixie watching. "Can I help you?" I ask.

She looks up from the orb and just turns back to it. I poke the orb again, this time giving me the correct song intro.

"Okay, just sing what you think is correct. And it will most likely come to you. And sing to the crowd at first." I said quickly during the intro. She nodded and began singing with me.

T: I'm Trixie Welcome to the show

Got Magic tricks so here we go

We're gonna have some fun

Hold on to your hats

C: We don't care who you are anymore

Just pack your things go out the door

You claim that your performing

Don't make us laugh

T: I have something more

C: We've seen it before

T: It's much more special

C: We'd rather be in hell

T: It might be the same act

Be patient you'll see

You can call it fake

But this is real magic!

Real Magic!

Look as I make stuff levitate

Making a rope act like a snake

And of course the famous

Bunny from a hat!

Got magic cards

And so much more

I even brought fireworks

For all of you to all to enjoy

C: Who cares about that?

It's all the same thing

All the same tricks

We've seen before

T: It might be the same act

Be patient you'll see

You can call it fake

But this is real magic!

Real magic!

C: Why do you still want to perform?

We tried to tell you all along

That this act is old

You have to face that!

T: I heard all what you have said

But I don't think I should be mad

the most important thing

Is to enjoy what you do!

C: But it doesn't make sense

T: It doesn't change a thing

C: Even if we say it's bad

T: I'm still performing!

C: It might be the same act

T: Be patient you'll see

C&T: You can call it fake

But this is real magic!

Real magic!

The song ends, both the unicorn and I panting a bit. I crush the ball under my hand, some of the magic absorbing into my skin. "Okay, I think I'm done here." I make the weird looking dog out of the criss-cross of my fingers and make a bright light. I look down and see hooves, charcoal colored. I turn my gaze upward to see Trixie staring at me more.

"What? Is there something in my teeth?" I open my lips and bring my hoof to my teeth in case I do. My hoof is stopped by a blue hoof.

"No, it's just that it's very strange. Out of all the species Trixie has entertained, you are by far the weirdest." Her eyes close halfway. "I like it."

And the Nope Train has arrived. Next stop? Home.

"Sorry Trixie, but you're not my type." I pull my hoof from hers.

"What?! Trixie would never stoop that low! She only wanted a traveling companion and partner for entertainment. But since you have obviously declined, Trixie changes her mind." She throws down a smoke pellet, lots of smoke going everywhere. When it clears, Trixie is poorly hidden behind a curtain.

With a roll of my eyes, I turn back to the crowd, who is still standing there, slightly stunned. I kneel down on one of my forelegs, an obvious sign that the show is over. One pony starts slowly stomping their hooves on the ground, then they start to speed up. Another joins them, then some more, until it's a complete applaud. I stand up and look over the crowd to see them cheering and stomping and some even clapping with their hooves.

Trixie slowly peeks out from behind the curtain, curious of what's going on. She decides to come join me, hopefully to also get some applause. I turn to her, blur my eyes and jump off the stage, my shout ready.

"KREN!"

A blue portal opens out of nowhere, upon which I land. When I open my eyes, I see I'm in the cottage again.

"Yep. Today's been a good day." I walk over to the window and look out to the town. "Good luck Twilight!" I shout.

Author's Note

Yep. It's here. It's short. I don't know if I can finish it here or not. If not, which is most likely, then just imagine Twilight doing everything that she normally did in the show. Right, so next vote.

Zebras and Poison Joke
The Parasprite Invasion
Winter Wrap-Up

A Trip to the Land of Souls

A Trip to the Land of Souls

I finish up on the suit of armor I recently made. Finally, I've gotten a job, and it turns out to be the blacksmith. It offers a fair amount of money, plus I don't think any other jobs would suit me well.

That, and a Pegasus is suitable for a blacksmith, not a unicorn like anyone would have thought. They use their wings to fan the fire, so that helps. The downside is I almost burnt off my tongue by holding a burning piece of metal in my mouth. Let me tell you now, that stuff is hot.

I brush off the chest plate and look at my reflection. I smile, then stick out my tongue and cross my eyes.

"Stop fooling around." Forge demands. He looks at the piece of armor and nods his head slowly with a smile. "Might I say, that is a fine looking piece of armor."

"Thanks." I look at it again. I set it down with the rest of my armor, which consists of boots, leggings, gauntlets, and a helmet. I styled it after a Roman set that I could remember the best, but it's smaller to fit my stature. It's been about a week since Trixie was in town. Of course, Twilight got rid of the Ursa Minor, Trixie ran out of town, and everyone now taunts her when they see her.

"How'd you come up with something like that?" Forge asks.

"I used a mold piece against my chest, and formed it into a more comfortable piece, along with the back piece." I say proudly. I put on the armor and shift it around. "There. Now I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Lordran."

I stand outside the library, in my full suit of armor, save for the helmet which I hold in my hand.

"Are you sure about this?" Twilight asks me. I look behind my back and nod.

"Will you make it back alive?" Forge asks me. Most likely so he can keep his worker. That, or maybe he actually cares about me.

"Of course. It may be stupid, but it's also dumb."

Fluttershy hugs my armored legs. "Please, be careful," she whimpers. I rub her mane with an armored hand.

"I will. I have magic, and I will also get Estus Flasks."

"Estus what?" Applejack asks.

"Never mind." I look forward towards the expanse in front of the library. My vision blurs before words escape my mouth.

"Kren... Gron LEIN!"

A blue portal flashes in front of the ponies and I. I get halfway through the portal before turning around and waving goodbye. I put on my helmet and continue my trek through the portal.

Into the land of Dark Souls I go!

I pick myself up from the ground I recently blacked out from. I gaze through the opening of my helmet, which has no face. I set my eyes on the city before me.

The buildings are tall and white, as if they are made from pure marble that is cleaned everyday. Bridges connect from the great wall behind me. In the center of the city is a large castle, about three times as tall as the largest building in the city. I notice that I'm on a catwalk attached to the wall behind me, as well as a corner of the wall. I turn around and look outside the wall, surprised slightly by the sight I see.

The outside has an old and dead feeling to it, ruins cast everywhere. Many of said ruins are either still crumbling from age or the burnings they were left. To my right is a large church-like tower, also looking the relatively newest for it is now completely destroyed. Atop the church is a bell tower, adorned with gargoyles and a, of course, very large bell.

To my left is a mountain, with fewer buildings, but a much larger one. As I get a closer look, I can see small figures moving around, indicating that it is still in function. That must be Zen's Fortress.

I turn around and face the city once more. "Anor Londo, here I come." As I take the first step, a banshee's cry fills my ears. I spin on my feet just in time to get a face full of bleached demon. A force hits me in the chest, sending me off the catwalk. The sudden attack leaves me in shock, meaning I don't even get to release a yell or anything as I collide with the ground. My vision fades to black slowly as I feel my head slowly bleeding, along with a few ribs moving around in my chest. I soon black out, then die as the last few drops of blood leave my body.

"Put him..... He can rot..... Eternity." A deep, gruff voice is barely audible. I strain to move, but none of my body's movements obey me.

"Ha! Look at........ Could possibly... Tonight." Another voice says, this one a bit higher but still gruff. I attempt to open my eyes, but to no avail.

My body is thrown into the ground ungracefully.

"Soon, he will..... And I hate the Hollowed." The first voice says. My hearing is slowly coming back to me.

""I still say... Him. He could...." I don't get to hear the rest of the sentence as the voices fade off some more.

After I don't know how long, I am able to stand up. I look around and see that I am in some kind of prison. I look outside and see a scrawny arm reaching through another barred prison door. I look down and, to my horror, see that my arms are also thin. Not like I lost a bit of weight, but as if I am dead and haven't decomposed yet!

My memory slowly returns. Saying goodbye to the ponies, looking over Anor Londo, falling from a great height with no savior... Am I dead? I feel of my face proves that my theory is correct, feeling nothing but dry and thin skin. I try opening the door, but it is locked. I know that the flailing arm down the hall won't be able to help me. The only thing I can do is wait. I sit down next to a wall and lower my head in order to sleep.

So... Thirsty, I then fall asleep.

After many days of sleep, no food nor water, my savior comes. Footsteps fill the sense of my hearing, though I do not struggle to raise my head. A loud crash gets my attention though. I look up a little to see another body in my cell, a small wisp of white light above me and glowing. I look up higher to see a man in armor staring down at me from a hole in the ceiling. He runs off in a different direction, his footsteps leaving me to the silence of the dungeon. I get up with new strength and search the dead body, finding a key.

I insert the key into the lock and twist it, earning me satisfying click. I push the door open and walk out the door. As I walk, I feel a small weight on my side. I look down to find a sword hilt attached to my belt. With excitement, I remove the hilt, only to actually find only the hilt of a sword, save for a few inches of the actual blade. With a makeshift weapon, I walk down the hallway.

An pink colored zombie hobbles towards me. Although he may not look like a zombie, that is what I'll call them. I hit him with the hilt, knocking him back a bit. After a few hits, he goes down. A strange wisp of white and black something flies from the dead body to me. I mentally check my body to find I have gained about 20 souls. Don't know how I know that, but I think that'll come in handy.

I come across another zombie facing a wall with its hands up against it. I use a bit of strength to take him down, earning me 20 more souls. I walk up some nearby steps that lead into a door. Inside the room through said door is a sewer like room. It is slightly flooded, although not completely because grates surround the room. A spot another zombie in a corner, sitting with his legs crossed. I run over and kill him. I exit the room and am greeted with a small, wet hall way. I walk through and spot a ladder.

After climbing the ladder, walk though another door into a courtyard. Inside the courtyard is a mound if ash with a old, rusted and burnt sword in it. As I walk closer, a voice fills my head. Light me...

I walk closer and the voice repeats it, louder. I stick my hand over the sword and focus on the heat of my knowledge. The ash bursts into flames. I sit down with my legs crossed, and rest at the bonfire. From the flames jumps out a book. I pick up the book and read through it. Inside it has my name, along with lots of numbers beside words, like 'strength', 'vitality', and 'intelligence'. The intelligence's number is a 22, the vitality's is 18, and strength is 20. I try touching a number, but each time a message pops up reading 'Not enough souls.'

I toss the book back into the flames, stand up, and jog over to two large doors on the opposite side of the courtyard. I use as much strength as I can muster I to pushing open both doors at the same time. What? I might need an escape plan.

On the other side of the door is a much larger courtyard, filled with thin urns. A faint stomping fills my ears, getting louder each second.

"RAAGGGHHHRRRR!" A shout reaches my ears. I look up to see a very large creature jump down from a vantage point on the other side of the courtyard. Might I add the creature is an ugly sonuvabitch? He wields a very large club, the weapon very crude and jagged as if it was used up a lot. He has tiny wings, a giant lower portion, and a set of bottom teeth to large to even fit in his mouth.

He charges me with a raised club. I wait until the last second from him to swing to roll out of the way. He slowly pulls his club out of the ground while looking at me. I run past him into the middle of the courtyard, then evade into the archways of the inner courtyard, where I am surrounded with urns. I turn around to see him charging me again. Scheiße! I look around and spot a small door. I run to the door, the demon getting closer. I roll into the door, the rusted metal closing behind me.

The demon attempts to break open the door, but to no avail. I sit down and catch my breath, before my hand slips, causing me to fall down the flight of stairs. I land on some my back, the armor hitting my backside and knocking the wind out of me. I take a deep breath before standing up again. A song fills my mind for a second, probably my favorite verse.

Demons, demons, demons, demons. A transformer for some reason!

I shake my head and focus at the task at hand. I'm greeted with another bonfire, upon which I light by sticking my hand over. The light fills the dark room, just barely. I sit down at the bonfire again, and am given another Estus Flask and the same book from before. I toss the book in and check out the room. It is also filled with water, but has a few glowing marks in the ground. I put my hand to it and a voice fills my head once more.

Get your shield! I look out the next door and am greeted with an arrow wizzing past my face. I quickly duck and slowly look out the door again. Up a slanted hallway is a zombie reloading another arrow to his bow. I look to the left of the hallway and spot a dead guy with the same white wisp from early. I turn back to the undead archer, who already has his bow aimed at me. I bring my head back in to barely dodge the arrow, then run up the hallway. I grab the item from the dead guy, getting a blue, tattered shield that's about my size. I equip it and bring it up just in time to deflect an arrow.

The archer is met with a broken sword, for I had already run up the hallway and taken him out. Unfortunately, he didn't drop his bow. Behind him another dead guy with some item. I grab it and find it is a long sword. I drop my crappy broken sword and equip the new usable sword. I give it a swing to test it out, and am satisfied with the light results.

I continue onwards up some more steps. At the top of the steps is a doorway. Not any normal doorway though. This one has a bright white barrier that prevents me from seeing the other side. I walk up to it and find that I can't enter it normally. I bow my head in humbleness and walk slowly through the white light. I lift my head to see another door in front of me, although the door is broken so I can't open it. I look through the bars and see a man lying on top of some rubble. He looks oddly familiar, though.

I don't worry about it and continue on past the door. It was a singular room, meaning I could go on the left side of the wall and have the room to the right. To my left is a fall straight down to the courtyard, but it has safety bars so I don't fall down like the idiot I am. After getting to the corner of the catwalk, it makes a pathway to the left, leading up to more stairs. I begin walking up them, only to get a crunching sound. I look up the stairs to find a boulder rolling down towards me.

"Gah!" I roll off the stairs, falling onto a different flight of steps that lead down lower. The boulder that almost tried to kill me crashes into the wall that separates me from the room with the man atop the rubble. I walk inside and see him breathing heavily. His helmet that obscures his face looks up at me.

"... Oh, you... You're no Hollow, eh?" He asks me. I shake my head.

"... Thank goodness... I'm done for, I'm afraid... I'll die soon, then lose my sanity..." I raise my eyebrow a bit, but allow him to continue.

"... I wish to ask something of you... You and I, we're both undead... Hear me out, will you?"

"Sure." I say with a nod. I notice my voice is very raspy and oldish.

"... Regrettably, I have failed in my mission... But perhaps you can keep the torch lit... There is an old saying in my family..." He coughs harshly before continuing. "... Thou who art Undead, art chosen... I. Thine exodus from the Undead Asylum, maketh pilgrimage to the land of the Ancient Lords... When thou ringeth the Bell of Awakening, the fate of the Undead shalt know. Well, now you know... And I can die with hope in my heart..."

My feels alarm go off a bit. I don't even know this guy, yet he strikes me as a dying hero. "... Oh, one more thing... Here, take this..." He hands me five bottles filled with a glowing yellow-orange substance. "... An Estus Flask, an Undead favorite... Oh, and this." He hands me a key, for which I don't know where it goes. "... Now I must bid farewell... I would hate to harm you after death... So, go now... And thank you."

I give him a salute before turning around and jogging back up the stairs. Upon reaching the top step, I find an undead waiting for me there. This one has a sword, however. He leaps towards me with a strike, but I have my shield up. His sword bounces off harmlessly. I swing down my side with a wide arc, then upwards. He falls over, giving me the 20 should he has on him.

I hear the eerie sound of souls flying through the air, and am given 100 souls. I run back down the stairs an into the room, not finding the knight anywhere. I shrug and head down the lower stairs. Upon opening the door, I see that I am back in the previous, smaller courtyard. I rest at the bonfire, my body feeling as if it were new. I check my arms and see that they are still dead-looking.

I get up and go back up the stairs, back up to the spot with that zombie jerk with his boulder of doom. What surprises me is that the zombie is somehow alive again. He runs forward and tries a normal attack, but I am ready. As soon as the sword is close enough, I hit it away with my sword, then thrust me sword into the zombie's body. I lower my sword and kick him off my sword, gaining 20 more souls.

I open the gate that was behind him and walk through. I spot another patch of glowing scratches in the ground. I touch it and a voice fills my head. If one were to dual wield a sword, that would make their attacks stronger. I put the Heater Shield on my back and hold the sword with two hands.

"Nah," I replace the shield in my left hand and continue on. After a few more steps, I reach the edge of a wall, which has a drop that is very high on the other side. Footsteps are heard by me to my left. I bring up my shield up just in time to stop a zombie's attack. He recoils from the defense and ends up with a sword slash through his chest. Slower zombie walks out through the ruined doorway that the other zombie came out from. I back up into a more open area. He walks up to me, his sword already raised. I dodge to his right and end up behind him.

"Backstab!" My raspy voice shouts as I stab the zombie in the back. I kick him off of my sword as well. My armor clinks as I jog through the doorway, into an arrow. The arrow lands into my shoulder, causing me to grab it in pain. I suck in a breath through my clenched teeth. My shield is raised up just in time to block another arrow. I dash forward and jump in the air, thrusting my sword into the zombie archer. I pull the arrow out, causing me more pain. I chug down one of my five Estus Flasks to heal myself.

I turn to the left to see another fog gate. I lower my head and walk through, finding myself on a ledge. I look down to see that ugly, giant demon from before, although he doesn't see me. I put my sword in both of my hands and prepare myself.

"Geronimo!" I shout as I jump down. I thrust my sword downwards, the blade stabbing through the demon's giant neck. He roars in pain before shaking me off. I get up from the ground to see him raising his club. I roll behind him, just in time to see him swing the club as if he were playing golf. I raise my shield just in time to block the wide range, for he turned around slightly whilst swinging. I swing my sword through his leg, damaging him a little.

I attempt another swing, but he dug the club through the ground while swinging it, knocking me into a wall. My vision is blurry before I shake my head. I get up and roll just in time to dodge another attack. I jump onto the demon's back and stab him. He shakes around in pain before shaking me off again. He landed on my back, my stamina drained. He stood over me for a second before raising his club to crush me.

"Bah... Ag DU!"

A large fireball erupts from in front of me, hitting the Asylum Demon head on. He shook around as the flames engulfed him. He turned around to me once more, anger in his puny eyes. I out the shield on my back and the sword in both of my hands. I raises his club to crush me once more, while I dash forward. The club comes down, but I dodge and run around behind him. I jump onto his back and run up to his neck. I raise the long sapwood with two hands, bringing it down it to the base of it's neck.

The demon gives a howl of pain before lowering its head. I jump off from the neck and roll. I turn around to watch as the demon starts glowing white. It gives another howl of pain before completely glowing with, and explodes harmlessly into lots of tiny white specks. In its place is a small, glowing wisp, this one golden. I walk over and grab it, holding it out with my hand. In my palm stands a smaller, spirit-like object that is black with a white outline. I feel the souls enter my body. I check to see how may I have, finding out I have 2732 souls. That's a lot.

I jog over to the opposite door and open it like I did with the other two large doors. My gaze meets a small hill, with the background of a mountainous landscape behind it. I jog up the hill, which is occasionally strewn with steps from ruins. When I reach the top, it extends a little farther than the actual mountain. I look over the edge and see death, also known as a very high drop. I look over the mountains taking in the beautiful sight of something.

It is so beautiful, I don't even hear the wing flaps. The thing that shakes me out of my trance is the sudden appearance of a ver large raven. I flinch by stepping back a bit. It grabs me in its talons, holding onto my arms. I do t struggle, for my brain locked down half of a second ago.

The giant bird carries me for about ten minutes, three of those were circling the city. It drops me off very quickly on a small spot outside the city. I bend my knees to absorb the shock, although my legs still hurt a bit. I look up to see ruins in a large place, the only living creature a man in a suit of armor, leggings, and gauntlets. No helmet, though. I stares intently at a bonfire which is already lit. He only glances up at me, then back down to the bonfire. I walk up to him.

"Well, what do we have here? You must be a new arrival. Let me guess. Fate of the Undead, right? Well, you're not the first." I tilt my head to the side with a raised eyebrow. "But there's no salvation here. You'd have done better to rot in the Undead Asylum... But, too late now. Well, since you're here... Let me help you out.

"There are actually two Bells of Awakening. One's up above, in the Undead Church. The other is far, far below, in the ruins at the base of Blighttown. Ring them both, and something happens... Brilliant, right? Not much to go on, but I have a feeling that won't stop you. So, off you go. It is why you came, isn't it? To this accursed land of the Undead? Hah hah hah hah..." His laugh fades off as he goes back to thought.

"Hey, how do I restore my humanity?" I ask.

"Hm, what? Restoring your humanity? Well, there are a few ways to go about it... Collect it bit by bit from corpses, or you can butter up a cleric, and get yourself summoned. And the quickest way, although I'd never do it, is to kill a healthy Undead, and pillage its humanity. Coveting thy neighbor is human, after all! Hah hah hah hah..." His laugh trails off again. I nod and turn back to the bonfire. I sit down at it, my health being restored, and Estus Flasks restored.

The book pops out again. I look at the stats again. I tap my vitality, it going up from 18 to 19. I notice my souls are a bit depleted. I level up my dexterity from 15 to 16, and my endurance from 13 to 14. I try leveling up something else, but find I have not enough souls. I toss the book back into the fire and stand up. I look around the ruins a bit more until I find a well, with a dead guy hanging over the edge with an item on it. I go over and pick it up, finding, not one humanity, but three.

I jog back over to the fire and rest again. I take one of the four humanities and offer it to the flame. I feel my body restore back to normal, my arms, legs, and everything else becoming normal again. I sigh in relief. I turn back to the guy who constantly laughs. He turns to me with an annoyed expression.

"What?" He asks. I stand up and walk over to him.

"You there. My mission is complete, so I need you to ring the Bells of Awakening." I say with a knightly accent. He sputters a bit before standing up.

"Listen here, child. I have duties to fill, and I will not take orders from a youngling!" I points a finger in my face. I return the hard gaze.

"Very well, then. It seems my mission will not be completed due to you. I bid you farewell." I turn around and blur my vision.

"Kren... Gron LEIN!"

The same blue portal opens up. I turn around a give a salute before walking through.

I pop into the library, my armor making a lot of noise. Twilight turns around to meet me.

"You're back!" She jumps up and dashes over to hug me. I return the hug. "Thank Celestia you're safe!"

"Actually, I did die once." She backs off a bit and stares at me in horror.

"What?!"

"Relax. It was only once. I think it was supposed to happen anyways." I remove my helmet.

"H-how did this happen?"

"Well, it was when I teleported into Anor Londo," Twilight levitates over a quill and parchment. "And then a flying demon swooped in and knocked me over an edge, sending me to my death..."

I tell Twilight the story of my time in Lordran, the Asylum Demon, and the Estus Flasks.

Author's Note

Hey guys. An update already?! Yep. Anyways, since many of you don't vote, you can vote again here. Make sure you do vote, though. I want to have an actual poll. Kinda.

A Zebra and Poison Joke
Parasprite Invasion
Winter Wrap-Up

A Zebra and Some Poison Joke Pt. 1

A Zebra and Some Poison Joke

I began to play a small tune on my ocarina... Right, let me tell you how I got the ocarina.

Link picked himself off of the ground and watched Ganondorf ride on his horse after the Princess. He has to help her, but he is still you too weak and too young to do that. But what did Zelda throw into the moat?

Link turns back to the gate of Hyrule Castle and walks up to the small river. He peers into the body of water and watches Navi, the annoying blue fairy, hover over the sparkling object. He jumps in and dives under to grab it. The boy swims back up and holds the Ocarina of Time like everything else he does.

(Just watch a clip of what happens next)

Link opened his eyes to see nothing but the field of Hyrule. How did he get out of the water? He doesn't know, nor does he care. He just needs to get the door open.

He spins around and walks into another person.

"Oof!" the other person shouts. Link looks up to see a boy, a few years older than him. He just stares at him, surprised that he didn't hear him.

"Right, you don't know me, nor do you care. I'm not here for anything important, just your ocarina." Link pulls out his kid-sized sword and gets ready to fight. "Pfft! My words are worse than that thing! Anyways, I'm not here to fight, I just need the ocarina." Link didn't move at all. "I mean your fairy ocarina, not the blue one."

Link raised an eyebrow. He forgot he had two ocarinas! Well, he didn't need two, so he could give it to the stranger. But Saria wouldn't be too happy...

He pulled out the tan instrument and gazed upon it before giving it to the boy. He accepted it gratefully.

"Thanks. And don't worry, I'm sure your friend will be okay with it. Now go save Hyrule." Link nodded and ran into the city. But his ears will never forget that strange thunder that crashed though the town.

Now that you know, I-

"Psst!" I flipped my head up and prepared myself for the snake. After finding none, I continued walking. I had the day off from work, so that leaves me with nothing to do.

"Psst!" I twisted my head around again, and searched the buildings. They're all dark, and the windows and doors are shut. Except for the top half of the door to Sugarcube Cor-

"Christian!" Pinkie's head jumped out from the top half of the open door. I narrowed my eyes to get a better look, but get a face full of Pinkie. "Get in here! Hurry!" She loudly whispered, her head disappearing once again inside.

I slowly looked around before walking inside, my mind full of questions. I hopped in through the open half and look around. "Uh, Pinkie? It's a bit dark in here." A flashlight shined in my eyes suddenly. "Never mind."

"She didn't see you, did she?" Pinkie asked with the light below her chin.

"Who? And might I ask why you're alone in the dark, although I might not want to know."

"I'm not alone." I looked around to get a good view of five ponies faces a few inches below mine, one of them another foot.

"Hey guys." I said. I took a quick head count. "Where's Twilight?"

"I don't know, probably locked up in the library, hiding from her!" Rainbow Dash pulled back a curtain to reveal a hooded figure in the middle of the road, digging up a mound of dirt.

"Why would you hide from her?" I asked. The figure turned from her mound of dirt to us, causing all the ponies in the room to hide from the windows. Pinkie pulled me away from the window.

"Because she's evil!" She said, not three inches from my face. I stared at her face for a few seconds before looking around, but she stayed in my vision.

"Is that it?" I asked with a voice like Private from Madagascar. I love asking that question like that.

"What?! Don't you understand anything about evil?" She asked, nearing closer. I backed away so nothing of our anatomy touches and makes it seem like what it's not.

"Uh, no. But I can shout evil loudly. Ahem, E-!" My shout is cut off by a pink hoof. Pinkie pulled out a piece of rope from her mane and tied my hands together, then another piece for my feet. A piece of cloth is pulled out as well, and used to gag me.

"If you don't think she is evil, then you must be evil as well! And that's why you must be kept silent." Pinkie said. None of the other ponies responded to my pleading gaze, except for Applejack who put me on her back and carries me to a corner.

"Whew, you're a heavy one," The farm pony said barely exhausted. She ignored my glare and joined the rest of the group.

After a couple of minutes, Pinkie called in Twilight by warning her of getting caught. The unicorn also jumps I'm through the top half of the door. Pinkie closes it and shines the flashlight in her face as well.

"Who? The zombie pony?" Spike asks worriedly.

"Zo-o-o-ombie pony?!" Pinkie shool the flashlight under her face from fear.

"Spike, there are no zombie ponies!" Spike got off of her back, still looking worried. "Pinkie, what are you doing alone here in the dark?"

"I'm not alone in the dark." The room somehow brightens slightly to reveal the other ponies.

"Okay then, what are you all doing in the dark?"

"We're hidin' from her!" Applejack pulled back the once closed curtains to reveal the hooded figure still digging at the dirt. The ponies stared at her in fear, except for Twilight, before the cloaked pony turned to them, revealing yellow spots for eyes. Yes, even from my dark corner on the ground, I can still see her. The ponies react the same way, save for Twilight who glares at them.

Apple Bloom put her fore hooves on Spike's head to elevate herself. "Didja see her, Twilight? Didja see Zecora?"

"Apple Bloom! I told ya ta never say that name!" Applejack scolded.

"Hey, she's not Lord Voldemort," I attempt to peak, but ends up coming out more as "Hmf, shmfs mf mhrd vhldmhmf."

Twilight turned to the corner where I lay before rushing over to me. "What happened?"

"Apparently, I'm evil now according to Pinkie." I rubbed my mouth to get the feeling back from the cloth. "As I was saying... Nevermind."

"What have you done, Twilight?!" Pinkie dashed towards me, but I stuck out my hand to stop her. She comically collides with the appendage, her hooves still flying forwards.

"Pinkie. If I was evil, the town would be burned to a crisp." I retort monotonously. "Anyway, Apple Bloom had a question Twilight needed to answer."

"Yes, Apple Bloom, I saw her glance this way." Twilight said to the filly.

"Glance evilly this way." Pinkie interjected, forgetting about me. Twilight ignored her.

"And then a bunch of you flipped out for no good reason."

"No good reason?! You call protectin' yer kin no good reason?" Applejack asked as she pulls her sister closer. "Why, as soon as mah sister saw Zecora ridin' inta town, she started shaking her lil' horse shoes." She begins shaking her sister emphasize.

"Di-i-id no-o-o-ot." The filly said through being shaken.

"So Ah swept her up an' brought her here." The filly was thrown onto her sister's back to prove it.

"Ah walked here mahself!" Apple Bloom cried out.

"Fer safe keepin'"

"Applejack! Ah'm not a baby! Ah can take care o' mahself!" Apple Bloom crawled off.

"Not from that creepy Zecora." Applejack argued back.

"She's mysterious." Fluttershy stated.

"She's sinister." Rainbow added.

"And spoooooky!" Pinkie said.

"And normal." I gave in. Pinkie readied herself to jump on me, but a glare from me kept her down. Twilight rolled her eyes and turned back to the window, only to get assaulted from behind by every pony else. That's what she said. I just sat back and continued whistling whatever crap song I was playing before. Pinkie made me drop my ocarina, dammit. Zecora pulled back her hood to reveal her earrings, neck bands, and Mohawk, along with the stripes. Every pony gasped at the sight. I waited a second before mock gasping after everyone was done.

"Will you cut that out?" Twilight demanded.

"No!"

"Just look at those stripes! So garish." Rarity complained.

"She's a zebra." Twilight said.

"A what?!" Every pony shouted.

"Ahem. The zebra, a horselike mammal from Africa with black and white stripes and is from the genus group of Equus." I say all nerd-like.

"And her stripes aren't a fashion choice, Rarity," Twilight added, "they're what she was born with." Rarity held a hoof too her head in a drama queen fashion and fell over with a whimper.

"But what's Africa? I've never heard of that place." Applejack asked.

"It's a places on Earth where zebras are mostly found. But I don't know the name of the place the zebras here live."

"My books say that zebras come from a far away land, but I've never seen her in Ponyville. Where does she live?" Twilight aske d.

"That's just it. She lives in tha Everfree Forest!" Applejack' exclaimed. A loud boom resonates through the building, much like lightning.

"I didn't do it!" I shouted with hands over my head.

"Spike!" Twilight called to the kitchen.

"Eh, sorry." Spike apologized with a cupcake in his claw.

"Tha Everfree Forest just ain't natural! The plants grow..." Applejack said first.

"... The animals care for themselves..." Fluttershy second.

"And the clouds move-" Said Rainbow.

"All on their own!" The other two ponies join Rainbow on that one.

"Oh my gosh! Sounds just like Earth!" I slapped my face in fake surprise. Rarity fell over the exact same way again.

"And that evil enchantress, Zecora," Pinkie piped up, "doing her evil, uh, stuff! She's so evil, I even wrote a song about her!"

"Here we go..." Rainbow complained.

She's an evil ENCHANTRESS!

And she does evil DANCES!

And if look into her EYES,

She'll put in TRANCES!

And what will she DO?

She'll mix up an evil BREW!

And she'll gobble you UP!

In a big tasty STEW!

So, WATCH OUT!

"Wow. Catchy," Twilight remarked.

"It's a work in progress."

"Needs to be changed a bit if you ask me," I mumbled.

"This is all just a lot of gossip and rumors. Now tell me, what exactly have you seen Zecora do?"

"Turn around and stare at us," I began.

"Not you, the others!"

"Well, once a month, she comes into Ponyville," Rainbow said.

"Ooh," sarcastic Twilight said.

"And, she lurks by the stores," Rarity added.

"My goodness!" I exclaimed.

"And then," the quietest of the group said, "she digs at the ground."

"I do that too... sometimes."

"How is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to visit," The purple one said.

"Yeah! Maybe she's just trying to be neighborly," the one with the bow said.

"And maybe she's not lurking by the stores, maybe she's going to them."

"Lurk-free," I mused.

"To do some shopping?"

"Yeah! Everypony likes to shop! You know what I think?-"

"Apple Bloom!" Applejack interrupted, "Hush and let the big ponies talk."

Apple Bloom walked out of the group while mumbling something under her breath.

"Come on, isn't she big enough to give her idea?" I asked. Sadly, I'm ignored again. I should probably speak up... Nah. That would just ruin the fun of this episode.

"What about digging at the ground? You gotta admit, that's weird," Rainbow Dash tried.

"Like before, I said that sometimes I dig at the ground. Sometimes."

"Why?"

"I dunno. Might find something useful, like a new plant or bug. And I'm bored." Rainbow just sadly shook her head at me.

"I told you to meet up with me near the lake to practice flying!"

"Well I'm sorry, but I've got a medical condition!"

"Really? What's that?" Fluttershy asks.

"Procrastination."

Rainbow facehoofed at my excuse. While she was distracted, I reached into my pocket and-

"Nowhere and everywhere!" I threw a smoke bomb on the ground, causing smoke to go everywhere. While everyone was blind and having a coughing fit, I quietly made it out the door and spotted Apple Bloom following the cloaked figure of Zecora.

"Christian!" Twilight shouts from the bakery.

I attempted to use some of my magic to turn me invisible. Just because I don't want to fly doesn't mean I'll learn magic. It's awesome. As the spell flowed over my skin and clothes, I took a look at how it works.

"God dammit!"

If one were to spot me, I would look like a glass creature or a ghost. In a rush of disappointment, I dispelled the spell and turned into a pegasus. If I can't become invisible, I'll have to be camouflaged.

I followed behind the filly as quietly as possible, staying in the shadows, the only noise is a few pebbles moving. She constantly checked behind herself to see if anypony were following her. Thankfully, she didn't notice me. I love wearing black, even if it is part of my body.

Soon we reached the Everfree Forest, with Apple Bloom close to the edge and me hiding behind a rather large bush. The filly looked scared before swallowing her fear and galloped into the trees. I waited a couple of seconds before following after her,

I admit, the forest is scary. If you know what is in there, then you will most likely be sane enough to not go in as far as possible. Why, with all the dangerous animals, possibly deadly plants, and lack of shelter, why would you go in there?

I got so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice the ponies behind me, nor the flowers starting to surround me.

"Apple Bloom? You git back here right now!" Applejack shouted.

"You too, Christian!" Twilight followed.

"I told you, it's Night!" I called back.

"Don't care!"

"Beware, beware you pony folk!" Zecora called as she backed away. "Those blue leaves are not a joke."

Applejack picked up Apple Bloom onto her back. "You keep your creepy mumbo jumbo to yourself, ya hear?" All the rest of the ponies, not including Twilight and Fluttershy, jeer at her as well.

"Beware! Beware..." Zecora's voice continued echoing until some random fog seals her away in the forest.

"Yeah! Back at ya Zecora! You and your lame curse are the ones who better beware!" Rainbow shouts at the fog.

"And you!" Applejack looks behind her at Apple Bloom, "Why couldn't ya just listen to your big sister?"

"Ah-"

"She's growing up," I defend Apple Bloom, "and it's part of growing that young ones sometimes disobey their- OW!"

"Nope. You get no say in the matter," Twilight told me as she pulled me back by my ear with her magic.

"Ugh. Yes, mother."

"As Ah was sayin' Apple Bloom, who knows what kinda curse she put on you?" Applejack restates.

"Guys, there's no such thing as curses!" Twilight argued.

"Well that's interesting to hear," Rainbow flies through the blue flowers-which I didn't notice we were standing in- tossing one into my yawning mouth, "coming from Miss Magic Pants herself."

"My magic, real magic, comes from within. It's a skill you're born with! Curses are artificial, fake magic! They're conjured with potions and smoke n' mirrors to appear!"

"Ptooey! These flowers taste terrible. Like raw blueberry pie."

"Eww!" everypony exclaimed.

"Why were you eating them anyways, darling?"

"Ask my flight coach. Anyways, let's get going."

We head back, reaching the outskirts in under ten minutes. Everypony headed back to their homes, and me going back to the cottage. I help Fluttershy feed her animals, then help her create a small dinner, then we go to our respective rooms for the night.

Why do I crave enchiladas?

*****

Author's Note

Hey guys! Been a while, huh? That's because I've been grounded for liking ponies and using this site. I mean, this chapter shouldn't have taken so long, but I haven't had contact with a computer in a while or any other technology. So, yeah.

I decided to cut this chapter in half because I felt that you needed an update from this story, and it's taking too long to do the whole thing.

And now, the vote:

Fluttershy
Rainbow Dash

A Glimpse of My Future

I look down at the gravestone, which held six different symbols on it.

Three apples.

Three balloons.

Three gems.

Three butterflies.

A cloud with a multicolored lightning bolt.

And a six-pointed star with many smaller stars behind it.

Yes, they have finally passed, yet I haven't. It may be because I'm human. It may be because I was infused with two different lives. I don't know.

I have grown older during the time I've been here. In fact, the last time I looked in a mirror, I reminded myself of Nathan Drake. Except I don't have his clothing, and I have a beard to go along with it. The mares dig the beard. Right, getting off track.

The Mane 6 have passed on, but their heroism will last for a long time. I also have a bit of fame, but the Mustang normally would get that. You know, being Equestria's protector and all.

A few light thumps brings my attention away from the rock. I turn to see Spike, who has also grown as well, land next to me from his flight. He finally got taller than me, as well as is spikes. Hence his name I guess.

"Hey," I say. He looks down at me.

"Hey," his deep voice answers. I turn to my left to see three alicorns standing next to me.

"Greetings, Spike," Luna says.

"Hello, Spike," Celestia doubles.

Cadence is silent as she gazes upon a smaller grave next to the monument. This one has a shield with a six-pointed star on it. Shining Armor didn't make it through a battle we had together. When Cadence heard the news, she was devastated. I was too. Shining and I were great friends. And I'll never forget his last words.

"Sir, permission to be dismissed?"

"Permission granted..."

My eyes burn with tears as the memory flashes by.

"I really wish they were still here," I say to myself, "They were the main cause of most of my happiness before coming here."

"I do as well," Celestia agrees. I turn to her and notice her head is low, eyes closed and a tear rolling down her face. Some more soft wing flaps draws our attention. We notice our new visitor, a familiar pegasus that I love.

"Hey son."

"Hey Dad."

Yep. Have my own children, a filly and a colt, just now entering adulthood. I have yet to tell them the non-benefits to it.

I lean on my sword, which I modified so it can act as a walking stick. I may be in my thirties, but I feel like I'm in my sixties.

My thirties. Has it already been that long? So many ponies and people have passed by. Last time I went to Earth, I found out I'm the last of my family there. My sister has recently passed away. And by recently, I mean six Equestrian years ago. I really wish I spent more time with them. And I wish I knew what was going on back home.

This sadness has sometimes become unbearable. Yes, I know that suicide is wrong, but what if you lost almost everything that made you happy? Yes, I know I can survive on my own, but what is the point of going on if you have no new goals?

"Let's get this over with," I say as I wipe away a tear. I turn my head to the sky, as well as the other two males.

"Yol... Toor SHUL!"

A stream of fire erupts each of our mouths. We do this for respect and honor in the Elements of Harmony. Like how a few men shoot rifles at a funeral. And yes, my children can shout like I can.

The fire soon dissipates, and turn my back to the sky. I clench my eyes to get the tears out of them, but more return. I forget about it and slowly walk away, the memories of them coming back.

I sit in Joe's Donut Shop, although Joe isn't here anymore. His son took over after Joe... left. A sprinkled doughnut sits in front of me, barely even touched. I don't even like sprinkled doughnuts.

A poof knocks me out of my state and a scroll lands on the doughnut. Good, I hated that doughnut anyways. I oen up the scroll.

Dear Christian,

I apologize to interrupt anything you may be doing, but Equestria is in a small predicament. The minotaurs have come to a disagreement, and have ordered their troops to attack in a week in the forest east of Vanhoover. I must ask you to join in this battle, for you will be needed greatly.

Princess Celestia

I roll up the scroll and put it in my pocket, which has been enchanted to hold larger objects. Have I mentioned I love putting things in my pockets?

I head to my house, which is in the middle class area of Canterlot. I moved out of Ponyville, so there would be less travel and I can be closer to my current family.

After half an hour of gearing up, I have my armor, my sword, and a bag of potions attached to my body.

The barracks have been greatly improved, technology wise. Instead of chariots, they had pony-fitted jeeps, tanks, and helicopters. I may have been at fault for that. They also have computers, which might be from the 1980's on Earth. Again, I might have been responsible.

A pony in uniform trots up to me and salutes.

"At ease," I demand. He lowers his hoof and turns to the clipboard in his magic grip.

"We are to send out troops in four minutes, and a few squadrons every four. When will you join them?"

"I was told to never throw the first punch, but that sure as hell doesn't mean I'm not going to throw the last," I respond. "I'm going with the first group."

"Yes sir!" I salutes once more before galloping off. Their weapons are still medieval, but only a few are modern, which are just black powder rifles and other stuff like that.

I jog to one of the helicopters with the spinning rotors and hop into the cargo bay. There, I see sixteen stallions, all dressed in armor and a sea of emotions. Scared, angry, sad, you name it. Hell, one was even excited.

I sit on one of the benches and lay my sword angled next to me. I feel a few stares, but ignore them. I've gotten used to it, mostly because of Canterlot snobs. A few whispers are passed around, and I use my magic to sneakily enhance my hearing.

"Is that the Mustang?"

"Is he going to battle with us?"

"Do you think I can get an autograph?"

"What if he can't help us win this war?"

I stop right there and think. What if I can't? I mean, I've made allies with other nations, but the minotaurs are another story.

The helicopter jolts upwards, meaning we're taking off. I reach into a pocket and pull out a picture. A picture of my wife.

"Who's that, you're sister?" a stallion asks me. I could detect a hint of sarcasm in there. Good thing I've gotten better at not punching others in the face.

"Nope, that's my wife."

"Oh. Well, she's pretty, that's for sure. Going to see her when we're done?"

"I wish I could." I put the picture back in my pocket before staring at the floor again.

The helicopter slows down and drops a bit, meaning we're about to land. I look back up from the ground to see the stallions getting their gear ready.

I put on my helmet and activate the HUD. It may look like a knight's helmet, but technology is amazing. The display shows where my allies are, my heartbeat, and a quick recap of my mission.

I open the cargo door and am met with a bright light. The helmet reduces the glare through some filters and I can see properly again. The large trees stand tall, still fresh with any leaves. The grass sways gently, and the wind is barely there.

I grab a large tent and put it over my shoulder. A few of the ponies do the same and start setting up tents. By nightfall, a camp is already set up and a few more helicopters have dropped off some more soldiers.

Here's the calm before the storm

One week later...(Didn't want to write the awesome battle /._.)

I drop the satchel, which is now empty of potions. My breathing is shallow, there is a cut in my right arm, and I think my nose is broken. My magic is drained, and I'm about to pass out. I put my hands on my knees, and take a few deep breaths.

"Hahaha!" the laugh resonates through the forest, shaking my spine from a chill. I look up to see a larger than normal minotaur standing a ways from me with a smug grin. I'm the last on my side for now, but hopefully I'll get some backup soon. But not soon enough.

"Look at you. Tired. Wounded. And all alone. How pathetic of Equestria to send this weakling to face me, Chief Firehorn!" the minotaur gloats. I cough to clear my airway.

"You may have not noticed it, but you are also alone." He looks around before chuckling once more.

"It does not matter, for I can take you on easily!" Man, what has this guy been drinking?

"Okay, Mr. Hot stuff. Come over here and prove it to me!" I ignore the burning in my lungs and charge forward, sword in hand.

He stops laughing and pulls out the ax on his back. I continue charging, and evade the obvious downward blow. I attempt a stab at his leg, but get smacked away.

"Phah! Is that the best you can do?! Pathetic!" he taunts. I push myself up and use some recharged magic to heal the wound in my arm.

"I've faced the Lord of Fire, defeated a thief from a desert, and murdered the eater of worlds! YOU ARE NOTHING!" I charge forward once more and jump over a sideways swing. I cut the wooden handle of the ax easily, sending the double sided blade flying. I take a second to admire my handiwork. Rule #1 of War: Never turn you back on the enemy.

I turn around just in time for a dagger to get thrust into the right side of my chest. And by dagger, I mean minotaur sized, which is the length of my sword. A pop and a few cracks are the only sound I hear. Then comes the deep laughter.

"Fool. You could have defeated me right here, but you became reckless. And now here you are, slowly dying on my dagger." Firehorn breathes into my face.

"I've still... *cough* one more trick up my sleeve." It's an old trick I accidentally made a long time ago. I grab hold of his horns, allowing my body to slide down the blade a few inches, which hurt. The look on his face is priceless.

"Fus... Toor DIIN!"

An explosion blasts through the forest, sending a mix of shock wave, fire, and ice. Yes, I mixed up shouts.

As the smoke clears, half of my body feels like it's frozen, half feels like it's on fire, and the whole feels like it got hit by a brck wall.

I strain my head up to see a minotaur body with no head lying a few feet away from me.

"Groovy," my head falls back onto the ground, my eyes starting to close.

"Dad!"

"Huh?" I force my eyes open to see my son's head above mine. "Hey."

"Dad! You're injured!"

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not! I'm getting help!" He begins to run away, but I grab his hind leg.

"I said I'm fine. Don't both-"

"Hey, you!" A familiar voice calls. I turn my head to see a griffin face within sight.

"Sup, Gil?" Gilda was still alive, and the Griffin Kingdom was united with Equestria. Gilda lost her purple tint and now they're turning gray and silver, such is the way of life.

"Don't tell me you're dying on me already, right?" We had become friends, even though we still insult each other often.

"No promises."

"I'll get hel-"

"For the last time, I don't need any help. It's my time." A gasp grabs my attention.

"N-no! I can't let you go like that, Dad!"

"No, you can. *cough* You just aren't accepting it yet." My colt's eyes are tearing up. I put a hand to his face and give him a smile.

"First Mom... and now you...*sniffle*."

"Listen to me carefully. I am entrusting you *cough* to be the Mustang." A bit of blood makes its way into my mouth.

"I-I can't do that!"

"Yes you can! Take this." I pull out a circle of harmless fire and hand it to him. "This is the Darksign. *cough* With it, you can not die of battle wounds or injuries. You will be revived back at a bonfire, but use these to return to your normal self. Otherwise, you won't get any mares." I hand him my humanity I held on to. He gives a wry laugh at the last comment. A faint light shines through the clouds above.

"Are you s-sure?"

"Positive."

"... Thanks."

"Any time." I give a wink before holding a ball of magic that holds music. My body feels significantly colder, and I don't like this kind of cold. The light grow brighter as well. "Well, here I come."

I let go of the ball and allow it to flow up, starting to play a song as the world grows into a brightening white.

The light dims down to a the sight a figures walking around. Many creatures of different species walk around on clouds, completely ignoring the fact they can't do that without magic. Oh wait, we're all dead.

"There he is!" a voice I'd never thought I'd hear again shouts. I turn to see a pink ball of fur land on me. I open my eyes to see baby blue eyes staring back.

"Oh my gosh! I can't bel-" Pinkie doesn't get any further before my hand envelops her snout.

"Yes, I'm here." Five more ponies wrap me in a hug. "Miss me?"

"Surely you don't think we didn't, did you?" Rarity asks.

"There could be chances."

"Glad you're here, sugarcube," a cowpony tells me.

"It was painful but worth it."

"Don't tell me you forgot about us," a familiar voice calls out. I turn from the ponies to see some very special people standing above me.

My dad, mom, brother, and sister. I stand up and walk slowly towards my dad. One step forward. Then another. And then I'm in front of him. It takes a few seconds for me to register what I'm seeing. My father. The one who I haven't seen in over twenty years. Standing in front of me.

I launch forward in a hugging motion and latch on. I feel his great arms wrap around me as well. We stand there for a minute. Then two. And then I let go and look up to him with tears in my eyes.

"I missed you," he says.

"I-I missed you too." I turn to the rest of my family and wrap them in a hug.

After introductions-which were already made when I was alive-I noticed a large tower in the distance. It seemed to be made of giant speakers, and many smaller speakers were around it like a trash dump. The tower was cylindrical, and the top looked flat. It seemed really familiar...

"Hey Phoenix. Remember Guitar Hero III?" I ask him. He looks confused before nodding. "Then let's go."

We climb Speaker Mountain and make it to the top. There is an altar with two giant speakers for its base and a Viking helmet that has wings, except replace the wings with glowing rock-and-roll hand signs.

"So what are we playing?" Phoenix asks.

"A quick story about my life," I find a guitar and pick it up.

"Seriously?" he asks sarcastically. "We're going to play that?" He receives a smack across the back of the head. "Okay! Well, I can't believe I actually get to play it!"

"What are you talking about?" I wrap the strap in the correct position on my shoulder. "You're singing."

"WHAT?!"

"Yep. I've gotten better at real guitar, so I'm doing it."

"Wha-.... Fine..."

I take a few seconds to begin before I tighten my grip on the pick and start.

Author's Note

Sorry I've been dead, guys. To make up for it, have a chapter I really wanted to write.

I own none of the songs.

A Zebra and Some Poison Joke Pt. 2

My peaceful dream of being a macho Mexican wrestler(and losing) was interrupted by a manly scream.

"Que fue ese rudio? Es esto mi voz?!"

Fluttershy jumps into the room with a slam from the door. "Christian," a bass voice comes from her mouth, "we have a problem."

"Yo se," I said in Spanish as I got on my knees and throw my fists in the air.

"POORRRRR QQUUUUUEEEEEEEE?!?!"

+-x%

"Yes, and there doesn't seem to be a problem with neither Fluttershy nor Christian!" Hairity complained, her dreadlocks swishing all over the place. Do I have to say it again? It's Night! I should really wear a sign.

We were back in the library, every pony having problems from the Poison Joke. Except for Pike, the lucky bastard. Apple teeny was on my head, her orange coat blending in nicely with my red mane. Oh, and I'm in pony form.

"Fluttershy, is there a problem with you?" Twilight asked. The Pegasus nodded.

"Can you tell us?" She shook her head.

"Can you tell us, Night?" She threw emphasis on my name so she wouldn't have to listen to complain. I lifted my hoof and shook from left to right, giving the "kinda, kinda not" expression.

"Good heavens, just tell us already!" The tiny pony on my head stamped her hoof into my scalp, causing me to flinch

"I don't wanna talk about it," Flutterguy said.

"Yo tambien."

Every pony gasped before Spike started laughing uncontrollably. "Ha ha! So now we got Hairity, Spitty Pie, El Nighto, Rainbow Crash, Flutterguy, Appleteeny, and uh... I got nothin'. Seriously, Twilight Sparkle. I can't even work with that." Wow. I'm surprised he came up with a name for me already.

"Ha ha, this is no time for jokes!" Twilight shouted at the dragon, "We need to find out how to reverse this curse!"

"Que es esto?" I held up a green book with a plant on it.

"Hmph!(Insert spitting noise here)," Pinkie spat out.

"No! I've already told Spike there's no way it could be in there."

"Pero ese es el libro!"

"Enough gibberish! We need to fix this!"

During our argument, Rainbow freed herself from the deadly trap known as a ladder. "I think we'll find the cure to this curse at Zecora's place!"

"It's not a curse!"

"Ya mind settin' me down? Yer mane smells a bit... funny," Applejack said. I positioned my head for her to jump onto the table.

"I agree with Dash. We'll go to Zecora's and remove this hex!"

"It's not a hex either."

"Adios amigos!" I shout back to the group as I walk out the door. I'm quickly pulled back and onto the ground, and am met with the glaring eyes of Twilight. "¿Sabes que eres bonita cuando te enfadas?"

"If that was an excuse, it's not going to work." It was worth a try. Soon the whole room is in a state of confusion, making me trot of to a table and- Ohh, are those muffins?!

"Forget it, Twilight. It's time to pony up and confront Zecora! Come on, girls. Are you with me?" Rainbow cheered.

"I amphft!"

"And I as well."

" I don't know. Seems awfully dangerous," Fluttershy's bass voiced rumbled. Spike failed at keeping his snickering under control.

"What about you, whatever you choose your name to be?" I shrug. Twilight trots over and knocks the muffin out of my hoof. "And you, Applejack?" No response. "Applejack?"

Pinkie spits something I can't understand while Rarity gasps. "Did some pony step on her?" Every pony checked there hooves, finding nothing.

"Or sat on her?!" We checked our flanks as best as we could.

"Rarity's hair and Christian's mouth! It's big enough!" Pinkie checked Rarity's hair while Twilight forced open my mouth.

"Uh, alli?" I tried with my mouth still open.

"Ugh, heard of a toothbrush?" Twilight noticed something besides the mashed up muffing in my mouth. "Apple Bloom is gone too!" I push her away and pointed at the door. "Oh. Right..."

"Every pony to Zecora's!" Rainbow cheered right before sliding on the ground. "A little help?"

"Oopsie," Flutterguy said as she and Pinkie tossed her up, only for her to crash into a wall. I then dragged her by her tail through the streets.

"I can walk on my own!"

"No. Necesitas ayuda."

"Let me go!" She escaped my grip and began flying again, only to crash into me. "Hehe, sorry." I only glared back at her.

We soon reached the hut, losing Rainbow somewhere along the way. We looked in through a window and saw a cauldron and the same zebra from before, this time with no cloak to conceal her jewelry. I began to walk around to the front door and nearly avoided Twilight biting for my tail again.

"What are you doing?!" she whispered angrily. I waved my hooves and put on of them in front of my mouth as a sign to stay quiet. I gave her a look that said 'trust me.' She responded with a roll of her eyes and tip-hoofed back to the group. I calm myself and enter the front door of the hut.

"Hola!"

"Ah, one of you many common pony folk."

"Zecora, por favor socorro! Mis amigos ha estado plagado de broma veneno!"

"And you've brought the plague of poison joke! Please follow me, and I will fix you up quickly." As I walked by a window, I heard the group talking.

"See? She is really nice and going to help him speak normally," Twilight said.

"But what about the cauldron, the decor, and the chanting?"

"We'll get to that eventually."

Zecora brought me to the green liquid in the cauldron. She took a lick from it, making me hungry once more. "Ah, the perfect temperature for ponies I presume. Now, where is that young Apple Bloom?"

"Yo no se." A loud scream from outside the rang through the hut, followed by a colorful blur bursting through the door interrupted the peace. A small orange figure lassoed onto Zecora's ear and wrestled with it, being ineffective, while the colorful blur knocked over the cauldron. The rest of the group charged into the door, Twilight leading.

"No! You ponies know not what you do! You've knocked over my precious brew!"

"We're onto you, Zecora. I didn't want to believe in curses, but the evidence is overwhelming!"

"You made me look ridiculous!"

"You made me sound ridiculous!"

"Plfft lfft lfft lfft!"

"You ruined my horn!"

"... Meh."

"How dare you?! You destroy my home, destroy my work, and yet you accuse me of being a jerk?!"

"You put this curse on us, and now you're going to get this curse off of us!" Rainbow shouted.

"It is unwise to venture down this road. Your actions will make my anger explode!" Her fury made the ponies flinch in fear.

"Where is Apple Bloom?!" Twilight and the zebra butted heads together.

"Zecora! Ah've got the things you asked for!" Apple Bloom called out. She walked in an gaped at the mess that, for once, I hadn't made.

"Hola."

"What in Ponyville is going on here?"

"Apple Bloom! Yer alright!" Applejack called from Zecora's ear.

"Of course Ah'm alright. Why wouldn't Ah be?" Twilight jumped in front of h as if to protect her.

"Because Zecora's a nasty enchantress who put a curse on us and was going to cook you up in soup!" This statement caused Zecora, me, and Apple Bloom to erupt in laughter.

"Oh Twilight, did that silly filly get inside yer head? There's no such thing as curses."

"Apple Bloom, sweetie, you can't look at this and tell me this isnt a curse!" She gestured to the afflicted ponied in the room.

"This isn't a curse!"

"If you remember correct, the words I spoke were quite exact." We remembered the words she spoke when we were standing in the blue flowers.

"It was a warnin'. About that blue plant. It's called 'Poison Joke'."

"That plant is much like poison oak, but its results are like a joke."

"What in the hay does that mean?" Applejack asked from atop Zecora's head.

"It means this plant does not seek wrath. All it wants is just a laugh."

"... Will somepony please talk normal?"

"No," I say before heading outside. "No necesito estar aquí." I sit outside and lay down like a dog would, waiting for every pony to get out. Soon, my boredom takes over. Might as well have fun with my Spanish while I can.

La cucaracha, la cucaracha,

ya no puede caminar,

porque no tiene, porque le falta

marihuana que fumar. (x2)

Las muchachas son de oro;

Las casadas son de plata;

y las viudas son de cobre,

Y las viejas oja de lata. (x2)

Las muchachas son de oro;

Las casadas son de plata;

y las viudas son de cobre,

las viejas oja de lata. (x2)

La cucaracha, la cucaracha,

ya no puede caminar,

porque no tiene, porque le falta

marihuana que fumar. (x4)

As soon as I finish, every pony is walking out, Zecora with them this time. I trot up next to them, Applejack jumping back onto my head.

"Yer mane may still be smelly, but Ah can see better from up 'ere."

"Si, señorita."

Author's Note

And I don't know how to end it there. Everything happens that goes on in the show, and it's back to normal.

I feel like this chapter somehow came out a bit quicker than it should have.

Now, the vote(PM this time):

Fluttershy

Rainbow Dash

Why this vote again? Because I don't think only one vote will suffice for the story

Something's not right (rewritten)

Something's not right

So, today was a horrible day. Oh, not enough description? How about, today was warm, sunny, and very noisy day at school. I like my peace, my cool, cloudy days, and don't like fevers, sore throats, or headaches. I guess that's enough of a description.

Anyways, I got home off of the bus #449 and walked the street back to my house. It's not too far, and I like the long walks anyways. It reminds me of that one guy from My Little Dashie. Oh, have I not told you I'm a brony yet? Must of slipped my mind. So yeah, I'm a brony, have a couple pictures and wallpapers on my iPod touch, and have a Twilight Sparkle figurine. She may not be my favorite pony, but she's number three. My favorites go: Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, you know who the next one is, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity. Dang it, stop getting off track brain!

So, after I made it to my driveway, I noticed that a few houses were getting ready for Halloween. A few had pumpkins, others decorations, but the one that surprised me the most was a house, that usually had the most decorations, had actually none. I walked in my house, noting a large amount of cleaned, folded clothes on the couch, and walked into my room down the hallway one the right.

Upon entering the organized chaos known as my room, I spotted my younger brother, Phoenix, playing 'Ratchet and Clank: Tools of Destruction.' This rustles my jimmies, because when my brother, who is nearly the same age as me, is playing a game that is not as awesome as Skyrim. I've only had the game for about, what? Two to three months? Yet at the same time, I was already a level 61 Nord, and pretty much killed everyone and had the highest bounty ever known to man. True story.

"Hey Phoenix," I called to my brother who was engrossed to the T.V. We didn't share a room, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't stay in his own. Not receiving an answer, I walked up to my brother my smacked on the back of his head, not hard enough to hurt him, but to get his attention. He quickly paused the game and made his 'angry face.' In all reality, it was really him giving a scowl and putting his lips behind his teeth, biting them. He said it stops him from screaming, but I think it's because he can't make an angry face. It also looks absolutely ridiculous.

"What?!" he shouted, still making that face. Must. Not. Laugh.

"Why are you playing this instead of Skyim?" I questioned as I dropped my book bag next to my vent in the ground.

"Because I don't want to. Skyrim got boring," he said, resuming his game. Oh heck naw. Time to smack some sense into him.

"Time to eat!" my mom announced from the kitchen. I sigh inwardly because I didn't get a chance to smack my brother in the head. He pauses his game and follows me into the nearly completely white kitchen. The only things that weren't white were the walls, the fridge, oven, microwave, dishwasher, table, and other miscellaneous objects. I smell noodles and a hint of pumpkins, as the whole family was carving pumpkins the night before. I tried making a carving that looked like this, but I failed horribly. I glance at the clock and see it's already 7:00. Was I really that distracted by my brother playing?

"Hey! How was your day at school?" my mom asked as she always did.

"Good."

"Got any homework?" she asked as she got our plates ready. I see my five year old sister walk through the door, most likely coming from her friend Stephanie's house.

"Christian!" she shouted, running towards me, arms open. She runs into me, barely budging from the force, hugging me.

"No, I don't have any," I tell my mother.

"What are you making, momma?" Allyson, the five year old I mentioned, asked my birth giver.

"Tortellini, ravioli, and garlic bread," she answered, putting the plates on the part of the counter we usually sat at. The youngest three sat on the stools, while the oldest stood up and ate like usual.

"Wait!" my sister interrupted before we could dig into the heavenly gift known as food. "We forgot to say pray first." We all folded our hands, bowed our heads, closed our eyes, and began praying a very cheesy, but easy to learn prayer.

God is great,

God is good,

Let us thank him for our food,

By his hands,

We are fed,

Thank you Lord for daily bread

Amen

We made the cross by touching our foreheads, chest, and shoulders. I'm not one to be always praying and always going to church, but I sometimes do both. I dig into the dinner of champions, finish, and head back to my room. I ponder on what to do, but finally decide to read some Mlp fan-fiction. Better be something worthy to read...

Four hours later...

Done with some reading today, I decide to lay in my bed and listen to some music.

He was different from the rest of the world

He chose the lovely every time

With a smile, he would bravely soldier on

Yeah, was that such a crime?

He did not wear cynicism well

He chose the lovely every time

And they cut hi-

My music was rudely interrupted by a large golden light being shone on me, as if it was made into my ceiling. A warm feeling, strangely, made me feel more relaxed, as if it was like the laughing gas at the dentist's, only not numbing.I could only hear the slight stereotypical jingle of heavenly lights, because my headphones were torn from my ears. A voice entered my brain, as if someone were living in it.

"Your time has come to meet the others," she, I assumed it was a she bye the tone, said. It was a motherly tone, trying to soothe my confuddled body. Yes, I mixed two words. Deal with it. Also, it was around 11:30, so I decided to try to keep it down.

"Sure," replied, still feeling as if I was high.

"... You don't know what you're doing, do you?" she said, changing her tone. Why did this voice sound familiar, yet so vague?

"Well, I'm half asleep, and what ever is going on with me is making my body less aware, so yeah, I guess you can say that."

"Well, time for Equestria!" she shouted

"Wait wha-" was all I could make out before my body felt like it was being burnt up. Since I'm used to temperatures that aren't as extreme as boiling or hypothermia, I was used to it... Okay, I've gotta stop lying. It felt like I was to close to a fire above a volcano that was on the biggest star in the universe. Don't ask how I know what that feels lie, because I'm not going to explain.

Too much pain took over my body, not even allowing me to scream in pain. Blacking out, I took the last remaining milliseconds to hope I live...

A small breeze washes over me, slowly waking me up. I feel the cool grass under my arms and head, brushing my cheeks. The breeze is comforting,

Well, that could've been less painful, I think to myself. My body decides to say "Ha! No way you're gonna be thinking, because you've still got a headache!" To prove its point, my brain tried forcing itself out of my skull. I quickly, but painfully, brought my hands up to my head, attempting to calm the now sensitive nerves. I open my eyes, expecting them to be burned to a crisp by the sun, but only get a bunch of leaves and branches. Lucky me.

Okay, time for a body check. Arms? Here. Legs? Here. Head? Here. Torso? Here. Organs? Here. Other things? Here. Okay, looks like I'm still alive. Now to find out where the buck I am. Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, I keep my swearing to a minimal. I slowly stand up, getting a see of my surroundings. I see nothing but trees, rocks and-Hey what's that?! Oh wait, that's a tree.

I decide to walk and ponder, because that's what everyone does. 'So let's see, I was in my bed, on my iPod, my I was hit by a large gold light. A voice, female, calm and tender, spoke to me, telling me to go to-Wait,she didn't!' I stop in my tracks, staring at nothing, mouth agape. If I'm asleep, don't wake me. If I'm crazy, I don't want to be sane. If I'm dead... deal with it. Because I'm in Equestria!

I squat down a bit, readying my fist for one of those sitcom endings where the characters do a group jump, fist pumping. I release the tension in my muscles, spring me forward. Forward because I was caught off guard by a low throaty growl. My blood turns to ice before I look up to see a wooden creature with golden eyes, staring at me. A wild timberwolf appeared!(How original. A timberwolf?) My brain shut down, even though I can feel it pulsing, and my instincts. Anyone else know what to do? I do. Run mothabucka, run!

I swiftly put my self in position, hands as if they were ready to do push-ups, and spin around, catching the creature off guard and knocking it off its paws. with it disoriented, I kick it in the head, hopefully knocking it out. Kicking a tree hurts. Kicking a timberwolf is worse. Adrenaline getting rid of the pain, I hop over it, launching myself forward into a sprint.

I hear more growls behind me, guessing in half a second that its a pack of the wolves. I push my body farther knowing that if I die, I'll go down, guns blazing. That's why I'm not fighting them. No combat experience, save for play fighting with my brother, and a not so strong body. Sure, weightlifting can make you stronger, but only after a longer amount of time, not a couple months.

I run for what feels like about five minutes, until I start needing to breathe heavily. In gym, which is also my weightlifting, we jog for about ten minutes, making everyone who was jogging be out of breath. My legs, made of lead, start wobbling. My throat and lungs, only able to hold less air then normal because of my sore throat, start burning. I forget why I was running, only to be reminded by a loud bark.

I risk a glance back to see how many there were. Only three, so that means I can probably defend myself. I stop in mid-step, surprising the first one. The other two, smaller than the first, stop easier than the big guy, who is most likely the alpha. Remember when I said that kicking one of them hurt? Well, having one run into you full speed is worse. During the collision, I heard a bone in my right shoulder go POP!

With the larger one disoriented, my brain decides to run this time, instead of sprinting. It's much harder, given my current condition, but it saves me a bit. I hear the pounding of beats behind me again, this time closer. Fortunately, I see a light that happens to be around thirty feet away. Giving it all I can without hurting myself, I run to the end, only to have a warm, moist feeling go down my right leg, which somehow freezes my blood. Yep, they're gaining on me.

Summoning the last reserves of my strength, I swing my leg as hard as I can into the location causing the warm air to move. With a satisfying Crack! and me foot feeling it hit something sharp, I'm guessing I kicked it in its open mouth. The light quickly approaches me and I embrace it.

The cool, dense forest gives way to a warm, bright meadow. Given how I'm most likely safe, I run a couple more meters, hoping I lose the abominations. Knowing I'm far enough, I lay down, clenching my shoulder so it doesn't pop out, and begin pondering again.

'Okay, so I'm in Equestria, that's the Everfree Forest, and I was recently speaking to Princess Celestia. That means I'm close to-'

"Oh my goodness! Are you okay?" a voice whispers loudly. Score! Knew it! A banana yellow and hot pink mass enters my vision.

"Well, besides my headache, sore throat, and shoulder, I'm guessing I'm perfectly fine," I say, trying to keep down a cough. She seems a bit surprised I can talk.

"Oh, well, if you come with me, I can help your shoulder... that is if you want," Fluttershy said meekly. It was very difficult to not squee this instant.

"That would be great, but it seems I'm in a predicament," I say as I rub my shoulder, also wiping off as much excitement as I can. It takes a second for Fluttershy to get the message.

"Oh! Why yes, of course!" she exclaims quietly. I stifle my chuckle and turn my attention to standing up. Now for the hard part. I put my left hand on the injured shoulder and attempt sitting up, Fluttershy pushing me up from the back of my shoulders. Painfully, I make it to a position with my legs flat on the ground, while my body is nearly perpendicular to the ground.

Luckily, I'm on a hill, so that means I can face Fluttershy, get on my knees, and attempt to stand up from there. I do so, only more painfully than I thought it would be. Fluttershy, still waiting patiently, was watching me be in pain. Once at my full height, I stared in awe and fear of me. I understood the awe part, but why the fear? I run a tongue through my mouth in concentration. Found it! Dang teeth, always getting me in any amount of trouble.

"Hey, hey. Don't worry about these," I say as I point to my teeth, "They're not meant for you, or anything else here." Dang, now I'm really hungry. "Why don't we head to your home for the night?"

Fluttershy shakes here head, regaining her senses. "Oh yes! I have to help your shoulder, remember?" Oh boy, do I remember? I nod in confirmation and we head to her small, overgrown cottage. It looks peaceful. Like nobody lives in it, but it's also really well kept.

"It looks really nice," I compliment. She blushes a bit and whispers something inaudible. Shrugging, albeit painfully, I walk into the house with Fluttershy following close behind. I find an assortment of small animals running around. Bunnies hopping, squirrels running, and birds flying. Did I see a deer?

One animal catches my eye though. A small white as snow rabbit wearing a glare. Attempting to lighten his mood, I smile and give a small wave. His glare gets more intense, making me realize it's hopeless. I roll my eyes and walk over to the small green couch. It takes a moment, but I sit down and recline a bit in the sofa.

"Now please wait here while I get some first-aid supplies, that is if you don't mind," she said. I shake my head to save my voice, and then she briskly trots up the stairs next to the door. I hear some hooves against the wood floor, a creak, a shuffling noise, something falling, an 'eep!', some more shuffling, and finally, creaking. I look up, not realizing that I turned my head down, to see Fluttershy walking back down the steps with a box that has a red cross on it in her mouth.

She sets the box down next to me on the couch, and then she opens it with her hooves.

*Loading*

*Done*

How did she do that? Oh wait, I'm in Equestria, which also has Pinkie Pie in it. So, buck physics.

"Now, if you don't mind," Fluttershy started, tearing me away from thoughts, "could you please lift your right foreleg?" she asked, holding up a bit of gauze in her left foreleg.

"Okay, and please, call it an arm," I say as I hold up my right arm. She slowly wraps it around, using her hooves. I am one again confuddled. Once she finishes, she pulls out a sling that looks a bit small for me, but will still fit. Once again, the butter yellow pegasus starts maneuvering the object with her hooves.

I'm guessing Fluttershy decided to strike up a conversation, since this was getting boring. "If you don't mind me asking, what animal are you?"

"Well, I'm a human, or homo sapiens if you want to get all fancy," I finish as she ends attaching the little velcro pieces. "Thanks. I really appreciate it."

"Oh, no problem. I help anypony who needs it," I put on a confused look at "anypony." I knew what it meant, but I decided to play stupid.

"What do you mean 'anypony'?"

"What are you talking about? Doesn't your kind say that?"

"No, we say everybody. Anyways," I say, hoping to change the subject, "I need to find Twilight Sparkle."

She adopts a confused face. "I'm sorry, but I don't know a 'Twilight Sparkle'."

A way back to Equestria

A way back to Equestria

Crapcrapcrap. I frantically think as I pace around the room. What's my mom going to think when she finds out I have seven girls my age in my room?! Think think think! Ah ha! I'll just distract her!

"What's the ma-?" I cut off Twilight with a hand to her mouth. I put a finger up to my lip, hoping she'll know what it mean, then walk to the door, nearly tripping over Spike. I open the door and shut it behind me quickly, then turn around to find my mom walking the other way into the kitchen. I quietly follow her into the kitchen, her hands full with grocery bags. As she sets the bags on the counter, I tap her on the shoulder

"Gah! Phoenix, you scared m-" she cuts herself off when she sees me, her eyes welling up with tears. "Christian? But... How?" She hugs me with a hug that will make a car smasher seem like a pinch. I feel sobbing in my shoulder, my shirt getting stained with tears.

"I thought you were gone!" she shouts from the cloth.

"Why would I be? I wasn't gone that long, was I?" I ask as I hug my mom. Let's see, I was in Equestria for two days, so that's not too long.

"You were gone for two weeks!" Mom shouts once more from my shoulder. Two weeks!? Man, Celestia needs to get her clocks fixed soon, or we'll be having a problem.

"Really? It seems only two days to me," I say nonchalantly. My mom picks her head up from my shoulder and looks me in the eye.

"Where were you?" she asks sternly.

"What?" I hope I can avoid this.

"Where were you?" she asks again, this time more forcefully.

I give a defeated sigh, knowing I won't escape this. "You know that's show, My Little Pony?"

"How is that relevant?"

"Just hear me out. I may have been sent to their world, then brought my self back here. Don't ask how, I don't even know."

"Well then, who sent you?"

What is this, 20 questions? "The ruler of the the land."

"So you were sent to a world full of ponies by a ruler against your will? At least you're back now, huh?" she asks playfully. I give a fake laugh to show I agree. "I'm glad your back home, honey." She gives me one more hug before going back to the groceries. "What did you do there anyways?"

"Let's see. I defeated an evil spirit, got turned into a pony, became a powerful warrior, changed my new friends into humans, got drunk, and got back home. All in two days." I feel proud at what I just said. However, I don't think my mom feels the same way.

"You got drunk!? At 14?!" Seriously? I defeat an evil spirit, and she's worried about me getting drunk?

"We'll, sorry!" I shout sarcastically. "How was I supposed to know some pony spiked the punch?!"

"Some pony? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's the grammar they speak there. Trying to get used to English again. Welp. I'm going back to my room," I say before cheesing it out if there. If you don't know what I mean by cheesing, watch some of the Creatures on YouTube. Anyways, when I make it back to my room, I open it to find every pony else with confused looks.

"What?" I ask.

"So how did it go?" Twilight asks. Could they not hear the shouting?

"Well, I've been gone for two weeks in Earth time, so that's new. Also, it seems I forgot to blame someone on spiking the punch," I scowl at Pinkie, who's sitting on my bed innocently. "Can't fool me Pinkie. I know it was you."

"Who, me?" Pinkie asks innocently. I give her another glare. "What? How could I not?! I mean, I got two new friends, and we just defeated Nightmare Moon, one of the biggest villains of all time! There's no way we could of had a bit of fun!"

"You could at least warn me next time!" I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. "You know what? Forget about it I'm home, and that's what matters. Now, who's next on trying to walk?" Before anyone can answer, I hear my door open and I see Phoenix, my brother, walk in.

"Could you keep it down? I'm trying to-" He cuts himself off as he sees the human-turned ponies in my room. Is it me, or is everyone cutting off their sentences today? He stands there opened mouth for a while before I walk over to him and push him back to his room. Before I can push him on his bed, he pushes my hands out of the way.

"Are they the Mane 6?!" he nearly shouts. I put a hand over his mouth and close the door so my mom won't hear me.

"Yes. Now, before, you act like a fan girl or something, I need you to be quiet about it. Got it?" He shakes his head yes. "Good, now let's introduce you to the human ponies."

I lead him back to my room, planning out how I'm supposed to do this in my head. I open the door, let Phoenix in first, then close the door behind me.

"Now Phoenix, I know you know them, but they don't know you, so I think you should intr-" I get cutoff again, thus time by my brother glomping Rainbow Dash.

"Gah! Get off of me!" Rainbow shouts as she shoves him off of her.

"Sorry, it's just that you're the Mane 6!" I can just see the excitement oozing off of him.

"I know, I am pretty awesome. But do that one more time, and you won't see anything ever again!" Dash threatens.

"Oh. Well, I guess I could just choose a different pony to be best pony." Is that a smile I see on his face? Rainbow seems shocked at his statement.

"No no! I didn't mean it! I-" she stops herself when she sees the smile on Phoenix's face, which turns into laughter, soon joined by Rainbow. "You know, that was pretty funny. We can hang out some time later and prank other ponies."

My brother stops laughing and raises an eyebrow. "Why would we prank ponies? We don't have those kinds of ponies here you know."

"Wait, what? What does he mean Christian?" Twilight asks.

"Well, you see, humans are the only sentient animals on Earth, so that means that we don't have talking ponies here. In fact, we don't even have unicorns or pegasi. Think of non-sentient earth ponies."

"Really?" Applejack asks.

"Really. I'm afraid to say this, but we really only keep ponies as pets or workers."

"So what do we say here instead of ponies?" Rainbow asks.

"Twilight, take notes so you can remember this. We say people, everybody, anybody, and anymore pony expressions. Got it all Twilight?" Twilight nods after writing down the last notes with her telekinesis. Where did she get the quill and parchment?

I choose Fluttershy to walk next because I don't have time for volunteers at moment. I help her, although she falls about four to five times, her also landing on me. Fortunately, she got the message quicker than Applejack. Also fortunately, Phoenix didn't understand what was happening quick enough. He's a bit young.

"Um, Christian? Where's the bathroom? If you don't mind me asking." Fluttershy speaks up.

"When you exit my room, go left and it's the first door on the right," I say. "Phoenix, your presence here is no longer needed."

The person in question gives a groan and is about to complain before I give him a glare. He starts pouting and walks out of the room with his arms crossed.

"Now that he's out of the question, you're up Twilight." Twilight seems a bit worried for a second, but gets over it and stands up using her arms to hold her up on the dresser. After two tries, she seems to have gotten it. Wow, she really is a fats learner.

"You're next Rari-" A Fluttershy-esque squeak cuts me off right outside the door. I turn around quickly to find Fluttershy closing the door quietly.

"Fluttershy? You okay? What happened?" I ask.

"I think your mom saw me," she says softly. Crap. Now how am I gonna explain this? I dash to the door, open it, and put my back up against it.

"What was that?" I hear my mom ask.

"What was what?" I ask. Let's hope she loses interest.

"Who was that that just went in your room?"

"No one."

"No, someone just went into your room. I just saw it."

"Actually, I was varying something in there. There's nobody else in there." I say defiantly.

"Then why are you blocking your door?" She crosses her arms.

"Because I brought back a surprise," I say as I cross my arms. Her face turns into one of confusion.

"I'll show you later. For now, head in your room and do... something."

She seems excited, sad, and mad at what I said. Thankfully, she lets up and goes into the room next to mine. I wait until she closes the door to go back in my room. I look to the eight ex-Equestrians and address them quietly.

"Okay, now we need to be quiet, because my mom's in the room next to us. Sounds travel easily through the wall and I don't want her to hear you. Rarity, your turn to Lear how to walk." She seems reluctant to practice.

"Would you mind telling me why we have to try to walk dear?" Rarity complains.

"Because if I can't find the way back to Equestria soon, you'll need to learn how to mobilize without me carrying all of you. Now, don't cross your legs." She uses my shoulder as a holding point to not fall. After a few seconds, I let go to see if she can stand. That proves to be a mistake by her feet crossing.

She ends up falling and frantically grabs around for a place to hold herself up. The spot she grabs? My shoulder and hand. I end up grabbing onto her waist with one hand to stop he from falling and step to her side so I don't land her 150 pound body on her. The end result looks like this. Why did it end up like that?

She looks up and smiles at me, failing to notice the faint blush on my face. "Thank you very mush darling," she says with a small smile. I pull her up to get out of the awkward position. Today is just made up of awkwardness and sentence cut-offs, isn't it?

"You're welcome. Your turn Lyra." The mint-green haired girl gets up from the bed and tries standing up alone, resulting in success. She dons a confident smile until she ends up falling onto her knees, not in her face because of me. "Not that easy, isnit?"

She she shakes her head no. I hold out my hand for her to hold onto. She accepts it, but then starts squeezing it with a large smile. I face palm loudly.

"Will you just stand up?!" I nearly shout as quiet as I can. She looks up and gives me a sheepish smile. We practice walking for a few minutes, failing none, and I set her back on my bed. I give my attention to Spike, who is messing with my computer by pressing random buttons on the key board.

"Now, you don't have to worry about trying to walk, because you're small enough for me to carry around on my shoulders. that, and you could already walk on two legs." I go back onto my bed, opposite of Lyra. No need to teach Pinkie, since she's already able to walk like a biped.

I blur my eyes once to get the details of my room and the people in my room. Rainbow Dash has a light blue tank top, dark blue shorts, and mostly white sneakers. Applejack has an orange flannel shirt, her signature Stetson, jeans, and leather boots. Note to self: Don't tell her what the shoes are made of.

Pinkie has a pink shirt with a couple her cutie mark on it, a pink pair of shorts, and pink shoes. Maybe she likes pink? I ask myself sarcastically. Twilight has a purple button up short, a black business-like skirt, and black dress shoes. Rarity is donned with a white, elegant dress, and red high-heels. Fluttershy has a yellow sweater, a brown skirt that isn't too formal, nor frilly.

Spike has a purple jacket with a light green shirt, jeans that are rolled up, and, Vans on his feet. Why? I don't know. Lyra has been graced to wear mint green dress shirt, a darker green skirt, and tan heels with a hint of gold.

Out of boredom and procrastination, I decide to pop my joints. First the knuckles...*pop pop pop pop* Then the second set of knuckles...*pop pop pop pop* then the-

"Why are you doing that?" Twilight asks.

"Why my dear Twilight, it makes me feel pleasant!" I say with a deep, posh voice. I continue to twist my back using my hands to help. I then put my hands on my chin and the back of my head to pop my neck, but get cut off by a couple of pops. Am I able to pop my neck by touching my chin?I glance around to see Rainbow Dash finish popping her neck.

"Is that how it's going to be? You're on then!" I pop my neck, this time with my mouth open to make it louder. Yes, that does work. I see Rainbow go on to pop her knuckles by repeating what I did. I go on and pop my toes, which you are able to do. RD goes onto to pop her back, although not using her hands to help her. Well, I've run out of things to pop. She looks at me expectantly, only receiving a shrug from her competitor. She dons a smug grin and says, "I knew I'd win."

An idea suddenly pops into my head. "I think I know a way back, but I need my computer. Spike, if you will please remove yourself from the desk." The used to be dragon jumps down and stands next to the desk as I power up the monitor sod my computer. The screen comes to life in a few seconds and the login scene pops up I proceed to type in my password and wait for the slow piece of technology load.

"Watchya doing there?" Twilight asks as she stumble walks over.

"I'm looking up the dragon language to see if I can find the words to the shout I used last night. If only the stupid thing was clean and faster." I'm not really sure on what kind of computer mine is, but I know it needs to be cleaned of all the crap it has. Never get mods for games unless you know your computer can handle it.

"Really? You can do that? With this?"

"Yes. The computer is magnificent. You can type up stories, like the typewriter, but less messy, you can run games, and then there's the Internet. The Internet is one of mankind's greatest and worst inventions. Greatest and worst for the same reasons. Think of it like a large series of tubes that can deliver information to you in a matter of seconds to a minute. You can listen to music, search for certain data, watch videos, and, like I said before, write things." The desktop shows, the default background like I've always had it, and now I have to wait for the pop-ups to show.

Twilight's goes slack-jawed at the information I just gave her. "Seriously?!"

"Eeyup." The first pop-up appears, which I click the exit window quickly. Tango down.

Fifteen minutes later...

After many questions answered by Twilight, and many pop-ups deleted, I finally got to the dragon language wiki.

"I forgot to ask, why is it called the dragon language?" Twilight asks.

"Yeah, I don't speak that," Spike says.

"That's because there's a game called Skyrim that has dragons in it." I walk over and pick up the case for the game. "These dragons are not like the ones where Equestria is. The speak a different language, like I did with my powers. Other than that, there's not a lot different, other than the wings." I show the case to the group to show them what it looks like.

"That's it? It just looks like something that goes on a necklace," Rainbow says as she points at the symbol of Akatosh.

"Ever heard of the phrase 'big things come from small packages'?"'I ask as I put the case back on the ground near the PS3. I head back over to the computer and start looking for the words I most likely used. Let's see. Fus means force, Wuld... Nah. Kren? That means break. Break a wall? I guess. Now what about-

"Ugh! I'm bored!" Rainbow exclaims. I give a sigh and walk over tithe dresser and pick up the remote turning on the T.V. The theme song for My Little Pony starts playing. I roll my eyes because most likely my sister starting watching a show, but stopped early for some reason.

"... That's us!" Twilight says. Did she forget that I already told her about the show, or did I imagine that?

"Yes. Don't you remember?" I ask as I sit back down and continue looking for the words. The beginning ends and I can feel eight pairs of eyes staring at me.

"Yes?" I ask, not turning around.

"Would you like to explain that?" Lyra asks.

"No, but Twilight can. Twilight?" I look over to the purple haired girl for help. She nods and begins to tell the group what I told her. I tune them out as I look for the words that I used.

A couple of minutes later, I come up with only one possible word. That's it. I know there was a shout like that in a fan fiction. I close out of the tab and open up fimfiction.net. Hopefully they don't notice. I look back to see something strange. Me, and Twilight Sparkle talking together. In the show that's on. Wat.

"Since when am I in the show?" I ask no one in particular.

"Apparently, this is what happened when Twilight was sent to Ponyville. Wow, it all seems... strange." Spike says.

"I know, I mean when I first saw this, I wasn't in it."

"What do ya mean?" Applejack asks.

"Remember how I knew so much? That was because a lot of what I knew is also after this episode. Also, I was never i the show when this first came out."

"Really? Wow." Rainbow comments. Yeah, she's too engrossed in the show, waiting for part.

I shake my head and go back to the computer. Let's see, it was a Skyrim crossover, and I favorited it. I see a story, named Alduin Unbound. I look through the chapters coming up to the sixth chapter: Madgods and Dragons. In this chapter, Alduin uses a shout to travel through Oblivion.

"Found it," I say out loud. I glance back at the t.v. to see where the show is. I sea nightmare Moon laughing evilly while Twilight and I are in the front of Ponyville.

"Hit me with your best shot," the me on the show says. I quietly face palm at those words. They sound so stupid right now. Thanks brain.

You're welcome.

I suddenly get an idea about something fun I can do.

"Hey guys, follow me outside," I say as I stand up.

"Why? It was just getting good!" Pinkie says.

"I've got something fun I can show you." I grab my oPod Touch and walk out the room. Thankfully, my Jon's door is closed. I walk into my brother's room and see him on his PSP, playing Patapon. One of the best games ever.

"Hey Phoenix, wanna see something cool?"

He hits four beats before looking up with a confused expression.

"Just come one. It deals with Skyrim."

I head out of the hallway and turn around to find the Mane 6 and Lyra slowly walking down the hallway, using the little designs on the wall to help them walk. Save for Pinkie who's walking fine. Phoenix opens his door to see them walking past him. He looks to me with an excited face, getting a glare in return.

I walk out the front door, opening both the wooden and the glass one slowly so as not to alert anyone. More specifically, my mom. I hold open the glass door so it doesn't male more noise when anyone else opens it. After we're all outside, I see it's a sunny day, save for a couple of clouds.

"Why are we outside?" Rainbow asks.

"So I can show Phoenix here something awesome. That, and you might get a kick out of it too," I state as I start walking down the steps. "Use these rails to hold you up while going down. Don't want to fall."

The six girls slowly walk the steps, while Spike walks down as quickly as I did, and Pinkie jumped down the four steps. I go to the west side of my house and head to the center of our side of the field. Our neighbor takes up the other half. I pull or my iPod and open YouTube, waiting for it to load due to being away from the wi-fi of my house. After that loads, I search the Skyrim Trailer and wait for that to load.

"What are ya doing there?" Rainbow ask as she keeps her wobbly legs steady.

"I'm going to show you what I'll be doing soon." I say as the bass drum begins to strike.

"You should've acted," the person in the video begins.

"Who's there?" Fluttershy questions as she hides behind Rainbow.

"It's just the video, Fluttershy," I say. The video continues with stride.

"They're already here. The Elder Scrolls foretold of their return." The man says.

"How is that possible?" Twilight asks, amazed.

"Shh." I put a finger to my lip. The vid goes on for another minute before getting to the part I needed it to.

"FUS RO DAH!" The Dovahkiin in the video shouts. I pause it right there so they don't have to see anything else.

"Hey! That's kinda like-" I put ah and over Pinkie's mouth to stop her.

"Now Phoenix, I want you to repeat what that guy just said.

"Which one?" he asks.

"Duh. The old sounding guy." He rolls his eyes and begins repeating it.

"In their tongue, he is Dovahkiin. Dragonborn!" He says as best he can. Close enough. I blur my eyes and inhale deeply.

"FUS RO DAH!"

A blue-ish force erupts in front of me, quickly heading towards the forest behind our house. As it reaches, it back the trees as if a stone wind was pushing them. As the dust settles, I turn towards Phoenix who's jaw is about to hit the ground. I bet it would if it could.

"Hello? Earth to Phoenix!" I wave a hand in his face to get his attention.

"That was awesome!" he shouts.

"Yes, it was. Didn't you see me in the show?"

"Yeah, but it's like 20% cooler in person!" I know he did not just say that. I'll let it slide for now.

"Now, what do you gals, and Spike, think about that?"

"It was awesome, but not as awesome as me," RD says.

"It was loud," the one in the yellow sweater said weakly.

"Do you think I could do it one day? Because you did say that was dragon language." Spike's right. He is able to do it.

"Later. Now, Phoenix, I want you to tell Mom I'll be gone for some time. Tell I'm heading back to where I was." I know I'm making the right choice. I've gotta be in Equestria.

"What? Already? Can I come?"

"No, I've got a reasone to be there while you don't you're just gonna annoy everyone there most likely. Sorry, but the Mustang's gotta protect Equestria, and I can't watch you and protect the country at the same time." I rub my neck to see if it's tough and the results come in positive.

Phoenix looks like he's about to cry, slumped shoulders and head facing down. I put an arm around his shoulder and pull him close.

"You know, I can take you when there isn't any trouble, like say Hearth's Warming? No trouble, and it's after Christmas." He looks up and smiles, wiping away a tear. "And tell Mom to not worry. I will be back."

I turn to the rest of the group. "Ready to go?"

"But I didn't learn enough of this world yet," Twilight says. I run back inside and grab my history book off the dresser on my dresser. When I exit my room again, I see my mom blocking the way.

"Why do you have that? And what was that loud noise outside?" Another 20 questions.

"I'm giving this to a special friend of mine, and that loud noise was my power." I walk up to her and give a bear hug to her.

"Why the hug?"

"To let you know I'll be back and that I love you." I look up and see her confused again.

"Where are you going? To Blake's"

"Phoenix will explain it. Love you!" I shout as I run out the door. I make it back to the group and hand the book to Twilight.

"Here. This is our world's history until a few years ago." I say as I turn to Phoenix.

"Go and tell Mom what's about to happen." I turn around and see my mom standing on the porch staring at the group. I wave to her and turn towards the forest. "Let's go."

"But-" Pinkie starts.

"We're going to Equestria. Back home." I head to the really old used-to-be-a-baseball-field behind our house and look around. One last look before going to the brightly colored world of ponies. I turn to see the group closer behind, most likely from better practice of walking. I turn towards the forest and blur my vision.

"Kren... Gron LEIN!"

A blue rift opens in front of me. I allow the rest of the girls and Spike through first, although Twilight stops and turns towards me.

"You sure you want to go? You've got family here." I smirk and shake my head.

"Twilight, I can just come back if needed to. Now get in there!" I push her in and give one last look around before turning to the gaping maw of the portal in front of me. I begin walking towards it.

But end up tripping into it.

Author's Note

This whole chapter was written from my iPad. If you see any mistakes, let me know and I'll try to fix them. Sorry it took so long.

Also, I'm taking a vote to see which episode you guys want me to be in next.

Ticket Master
Apple buck Season
Or Griffin the Brush-Off