Five Hundred Little Zombies

by GroaningGreyAgony

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Angel, Fluttershy, Horror, Random, Flitter
Length: 1422

Flitter thought she knew what it meant to be strong, after meeting Fluttershy. When the dead start to walk again, they're both going to need it.

Flitter thought she knew what it meant to be strong, after meeting Fluttershy.

But when the dead start to walk again, they're both going to need it.

Estee has technically approved this travesty of a classic story, accompanied by a slightly raised eyebrow, a look that could wither a freight train, and a sigh that still echoes mournfully in the remote corners of spacetime.

The first draft of this story appeared in the October 2020 Writeoff, where it came in next to last.

This story is also a part of Racc’s Crackfic Storm!

Published 2023-04-01 07:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-01 07:20:01 UTC

Night of the Purring Dead

Evening had fallen and the late autumn sky was leaden-gray, covered with clouds that promised rain but never quite delivered; the storms and winds had been pegasus-quelled all day. Behind a small rustic cottage surrounded by birdhouses, at Everfree’s edge, there was a field full of stones, five hundred headstones, each one marking the end of promises, the end of life. All of them placed by Fluttershy.

She was the one to whom the ponies came when the other vets had their say and there was no hope left for their pets. She was the one who quietly did what had to be done, straining her quality of mercy, and then had filled each one of those graves, full of remorse for five hundred interventions. Five hundred times when the best way to say “I love you” was to use the needle. Five hundred little acts of the ultimate kindness.

Five hundred little murders.

The graveyard was still, as full of portent as the sky, but then, at a stone labeled “CARNIE,” the ground stirred, and a half-skeletal cat’s paw poked out and stretched its claws, suddenly silhouetted by a flash of lightning as the other graves swelled and dark shapes crawled out. A cacophony of grunts and hisses and howls filled the air as the ominous skies finally opened up and the bitter rains fell.

Everyone in Ponyville knew (and mostly avoided) Flitter and her sharp taunting tongue, but that didn’t bother her as she walked her new black-and-white kitten, Killer, along the market square, flaunting her pet carnivore for all to see. Flitter chuckled as Killer shredded a display at a nearby flower stand, then dodged a thorny branch hurled at her by Roseluck. “Is that your sharpest retort?” she sneered as she trotted off with her kitten in tow.

She chuckled, but then frowned as she felt a drop of rain. The clouds were heavy, but no rain had been scheduled this evening…

Just then, the heavy storm flooded down. Most of the stall owners were prepared with tarps and umbrellas, but there was a wave through the crowd as a knot of whinnying ponies fled the square, the whites of their eyes showing, their nostrils flared. “What’s the matter, can’t take a little water?” Flitter jeered after them as Killer ran under her for shelter.

Flitter peered through the harsh rain to see what might have spooked them, and soon she could see small dark shapes in the hissing downpour, coming closer. The one in front, a slim feline shape, looked like… no, it couldn’t be...

“Carnie?!” she cried out in shock. “Is that really you?” Her eyes misted up and she crouched lower to the ground. “C’mere, Carnie, remember me…?”

With a yowl from beyond the grave, the corpse of Carnie leapt upon Flitter, and now she could see the half skeletal form, the rotting worm-crawling flesh! “AIEE! NO! Go away again!” she shouted, trying to swat the cat-zombie off her face, gagging from the smell.

Killer the kitten clung to her left-rear hoof, yowling in fear but doing nothing to help her mistress. It figured, thought Flitter with a mental eye-roll, Carnie would have defended her, at least if she wasn’t rising from the dead to slaughter her former owner. As Flitter bucked and struggled, hordes of other zombie-pets flooded into town, each crawling relentlessly towards their former owners, barking and screeching. The stampede of terrified ponies fled wildly, splashing into the gray rain.

Carnie’s long tail was wrapped around Flitter’s throat and was steadily choking her. Flitter had never thought that any natural or supernatural force could ever prevent her from making another snarky comment, but the stink of death and cat fur was in her nostrils and her vision was dimming...

“I… uhm, I’d like for you to duck, if that’s okay,” came a quiet voice out of the rain.

Overwhelmed with disgust, Flitter gagged and sagged. Looming out of the shadows came a bundle of twigs that clouted Carnie full in her maggot-dripping puss and sent her whirling into the darkness.

Flitter rose, rubbing her throat, and whirled around to see Fluttershy, the one pony Flitter hated most in the world, the one who had the courage to use the needle, the one who had showed mercy and spared Carnie pain in her final hours of life... and who had now sent her unwholesomely animated corpse back over the rainbow bridge.

“I should have figured it was you. What’s that you’ve got there?” Flitter demanded.

Looking flustered, Fluttershy held it up. “This… is my broomstick,” she said. It had the word KINDNESS painted on the handle. “I’ve got another one here. Uhm, maybe you can help me? Sometimes dead pets return from the Shadowlands and they don’t understand that they’re not cute anymore, so they crawl around in decaying bodies until we help them go back.”

“That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard. Okay, I’m in.” Muffling her sense of disdain, Flitter shrugged and grabbed the other broomstick, using it to clobber an oncoming chihuahua, which burst into a pile of stinky slimy guts.

“Ugh,” she sneered, “I thought they were just full of yaps and failure.”

Fluttershy didn’t reply, for the whole horde of reanimated pets was now converging upon her and Flitter. Dogs shambled and yelped, their tails wagging so hard they fell off; rabbits and guinea pigs drooled as they shuffled forward, squeaking “Grains... Graaaiiinnns... Brans...!” Zombie mice rattled the ribcage jails of predatory snakes. Rotting goldfish, their scales forever tarnished, leapt from puddles menacingly, and the mob of putrified pets closed in...

Flutter and Flitter glanced at each other and raised their weapons. The pair made a clean sweep, splitting the oncoming zombies into manageable streams amid the howls of enraged cuddly critters .

“Dalmatian at 3:00!” shouted Flitter. Fluttershy swung expertly, killing it with Kindness, as Flitter gave a rotting Rottweiler the brush off. Working together, they slowly turned the tide, until a larger shape loomed over them, snarling with red eyes and patchy fur and dripping claws.

“Any bright ideas, Butterbutt?” asked Flitter as she took an involuntary step back.

“Oh, it’s Mr. Snugglehunny, I was wondering when he would show up...” Fluttershy drew forth a pink bazooka that had been modified from a used party-deployment munition, aimed and fired. A white bunny dressed in a ninja outfit, bearing adorable little swords, flew forth and slammed into Mr. Snugglehunny’s snout, toppling the undead ursine.

“ThankyousomuchAngelandIreallyappreciateitandyou’llgetanextracarrotlater!” breathed Fluttershy as she threw the expended bazooka at a row of hamsters, popping them like creampuffs. Meanwhile, Flitter dispatched a chameleon whose bones had given it away.

“Er, parakeet on your back!” warned Fluttershy. Before Flitter could turn, Killer the kitten leapt up from her back and snatched the undead bird, then started to eat it.

“Rah-rah, Killer! Gross Fluttershy out!” cheered Flitter.

Nothing daunted, Fluttershy swept away more lurching crittercorpses, identifying them as she went. "Winnowill. Chaser. Fleetfoot. Garnet. Midnight… sorry, but we have to get you all back to your graves... Your time in the Sun is over."

The falling rain started to lose its force as they made progress, forcing their way out of town, and soon the parting clouds were showing the way with pure clean moonlight. Still, midnight had passed before Flutter and Flitter managed to sweep the entire zombie-pet hoard into a mountain of wriggling carnage at the graveyard center. The two heroines swayed and almost collapsed as the reality broke in upon them. They had persevered, and won through

Flitter glared at Fluttershy, her glance of hate softening very slightly. “You just... you just always had to be stronger than me, didn’t you...” she panted. “Undo any rejoinder I could make, take the words out of my mouth...”

Fluttershy blinked as she wiped green filth from her forehead. “Oh, no, I would never say that about you. I think you’re very strong, actually, much stronger than me. Which is good, because...” She held up a pair of shovels with the word SANITATION painted on the handles. “Now we just have to bury them all again, and I wonder if you could help—”

Even as she spoke, a swift zoom announced the departure of Flitter, with a dopplered sound of Killer mewling along with her as they disappeared into the clouds.

Fluttershy sighed, grabbed a shovel and started to dig, apologizing softly to each and every corpse as she packed the earth firmly around them.

Again, always.