Episode 15: Luna on The Daily Show
When it came to making tough decisions, Jon was usually good at making logical choices, but even he had a hard time deciding whether or not he should head back home or stay in Equestria a little bit longer.
It had been only a few hours since Queen Chrysalis attacked him in his own office and, thanks to the help of his friends and the intervention of a mysterious Alicorn, he managed to survive. His wanting to know who that pony was that saved him was almost reason enough for him to stay, but at the same time, he needed to get back home to continue his show and to be with his family whom he had just risked his life to save.
In the end, he stayed in his hospital bed, located in Canterlot castle, a little bit longer at the behest of the pony nurse that was treating him. Even though his injuries had been remedied through healing magic, the attendant that was responsible for monitoring his condition insisted that he stay put. This was alright for Jon, partly because he wanted to know how he managed to survive his encounter with Queen Chrysalis, but also because he wanted to be with another member of his family, Trixie.
For the most part, Jon just found himself sleeping since the incident, but when he was awake, his body ached all over from the injuries to the point where the mere act of standing up turned into an arduous task. It’s for this reason that many wanted him to stay in Equestria.
Trixie on the other hand wasn’t so lucky. She was still hooked up to an unpleasant amount of machines, each of which were helping her stay alive. The only time the two spoke to each other was when they first arrived and she had willed herself conscious for a brief moment. At the present time, Jon was wide awake, but Trixie was still asleep, which was a good thing according to the doctors, but he hated to see her looking so vulnerable.
“You didn’t deserve this,” Jon said out loud.
Usually a doctor would show up every hour to check up on Jon and, on some occasions, scold him for trying to get out of bed, but since he had a good twenty minutes before her next inspection, he tried to see if he could manage standing his ground. He may have been healed, but his body felt like hell.
Slowly, he moved to a sitting position on the edge of his bed which was large yet, at the same time, low to the ground. With a deep breath, he hoisted himself up to a standing position, the cold ground felt uncomfortable on his exposed feet.
Because the medical team at Canterlot castle had no gowns that could even remotely fit him, they opted to leave his boxers on for the time being. This meant that with him now out from under his covers, he was freezing, but that didn’t concern him; he just wanted to be close to his friend. Still determined to move forward with his plan, he grabbed his blanket and draped it around him.
There was a chair just beside Trixie’s bed, but it was on the other side of the room. Their beds were already far apart as it is, so he forced himself to walk all the way around to her side. Every other step he took made him feel like his leg would give out at any moment, so he constantly had one hand against the bed frame to keep himself upright.
His incredibly sore body begged him to lay back down, but just like with the nurse, he ignored it and continued on his path. Eventually, he made it to his chair when his attention was seized by the sound of the door to the room opening and closing.
“Perfect... Just perfect.” Jon thought. He was fully prepared to get an earful from the nurse, but to his relief, it wasn’t a medical personnel coming early to check up on him, but rather another good friend of his. From behind the curtains that surrounded the beds emerged Celestia being escorted by two guards and no one else. She didn’t share Jon’s relieved look.
“Jon.” She began, “I...” Words escaped her as she quietly looked at the ground.
“Oh hey Celestia, it’s just you. For a second there, I thought you were that nurse again.” Jon sighed as he sat down in the chair. Much how one would expect from someone who was recovering from major injuries, he slowly lowered himself on the chair as delicately as possible. “Did you know the doctors here serve Jello as hospital food? You do know what that stuff’s made of, right?”
“Jon, I’m... I’m so sorry all of this happened to you... truly I am.” She finally uttered, “This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t foolishly brought Chrysalis into your world.”
At present, Jon was in no mood to be playing the blame game. He wanted to tell her not to beat herself up over this, but from the looks of it, she wasn’t even close to feeling better about what had happened.
“I can’t imagine the pain that I’ve caused here,” She went on, “So... if you have anything you want to say to me... please don’t hesitate.”
Celestia braced herself for an onslaught of yelling at her expense. Maybe some profane comments directed solely at her, but to her surprise, Jon only had one thing on his mind at the moment.
“Is she going to be alright?” Jon asked as she gently stroked Trixie’s Mane with his left hand.
A silence fell over the room, lasting for a good ten seconds. She was shocked to see that Jon wasn’t mad at her, or for that matter, that his first question regarding everything that had taken place would be about Trixie rather than his own well being. Even after knowing him this long, Celestia greatly underestimated Jon’s caring nature.
“For now... yes.” She answered, “The doctors say that she’ll most likely make a full recovery... we’re just keeping her for now to conduct some more tests.”
“And my family?” Jon continued, “Are they safe from Chrysalis.”
“Since the attack... I’m... I’m sorry to say that she has escaped us once again... but we are doing everything in our power to find her... I also used my magic to analyze your world for any hint of magic or creatures from our world being present,” Celestia explained, “And I found nothing... they are safe and I have made sure that no pony... no matter how strong, can get to your world without my permission."
Hearing all this caused Jon to slowly throw his head back in relief. He took a deep breath and expelled it upwards to the sky imitating a volcano. He stayed in this position without moving except for when he slowly moved his arm to the side to delicately grab ahold of Trixie’s hoof.
While the situation seemed to be better than expected, Jon was hesitant to write this off as a job well done. When Chrysalis first invaded his show, his first priority was getting her back to Equestria and out of his own world, and while that did happen, there was also another priority he had established early on... which was making sure that none of his loved ones got hurt.
For a brief moment, it seriously looked as if both he and Trixie would have died at the hooves of Queen Chrysalis. The only reason they both weren’t left for dead was because, at the last second, they were saved by a mysterious Alicorn.
Since Jon’s awakening from his ordeal, he had replayed the events of the last 24 hours in his head over and over again. He thought about what went wrong, what he could have done differently, and what sacrifices needed to be made in the process. All of it would have been for not had that Alicorn not intervened... it was a thought that regularly went through Jon’s head.
“While you were unconscious... I’ve had my finest officers look into the matter of... what happened.” Celestia continued with Jon still staring at the ceiling, “I’ve been briefed constantly on their findings, and I now have a clear understanding of the situation. I’m sure you’re still trying to process all of this, so... if there is there anything else you wish to know... now would be the time to ask before I am called away.”
Slowly Jon lowered his gaze back to her direction.
“Actually, there is one thing... at one point during the attack, Chrysalis had me pinned down, and she almost blew my head off.” Jon said, his description making Celestia wince with pain, “But before she could... I was saved... by an Alicorn that looked a lot like you... except she was dark and she spoke like she had a megaphone stuck in her throat.”
His facetious attitude for what was going on and his humorous slant on the description of his savior caused Celestia to chuckle for a brief second.
“Who... who was that?” He asked.
“That would be Princess Luna.” She answered, “...my dearest sister.”
“You have a sister?” Jon asked.
“Indeed I do... while I was away, she occupied the castle, and well... according to her, she felt like something was wrong so she investigated.” She explained, “And that’s when she found you.”
“She... she saved my life.” Jon acknowledged.
“Yes, that certainly seems to be the case.” Celestia said.
This was definitely a first for Jon. In his life, he’s experienced many things: love, loss, mid-life crisis, but never had he been through a near death experience. He was still trying to make sense of it all.
There were still some issues left to be resolved, but for the time being, Jon was perfectly content with the information provided for him up until then. So much so that he slumped in his chair with a face that looked like it had never experienced sleep.
“Jon... again I am sorry for this.” Celestia reiterated, “If there’s... anything I can do to help... and I mean any--”
The sound of the door opening caused both her and Jon to look off to the side. Emerging from around the corner was the nurse that had been attending to both him and Trixie. She made her way up to Celestia while weaving in and out of the guards that accompanied her.
“Your majesty... you’re wanted down stairs.” She urged while at the same time noticing that Jon was out of his bed. She gave him a disappointed look before she continued to explain herself. “There’s... some issues that need your attention.”
“I see... In that case, I’m afraid we’ll have to pick up on our debriefing at a later date.” She said to Jon as she turned to leave. Before exiting the room, she leaned in to whisper something in the nurse’s ear. “Do go easy on him.”
Both Celestia and her entourage of guards disappeared behind the curtains leaving Jon alone with the nurse who was glaring at him angrily for once again disobeying her orders.
“Soooo...” Jon cooed with an innocent face as the nurse walked up to him, “Has the ship sailed on that sponge-bath I requested?” Unlike college, his brother’s wedding, and that one time he got pulled over by a state trooper on the New Jersey turnpike, this was one situation he couldn’t joke his way out of.
“I thought I told you to stay in bed!” The nurse scolded as she manually hoisted Jon out of his seat, “You’ll have all the time in the world to be up and about once we know for sure that you’re safe.”
Jon tried his best to fight the doctor’s forceful shoving, but in his current state, he was too weak to put up much of a resistance. The only thing keeping Jon even remotely anchored to his present location was his refusal to let go of Trixie. Eventually, the nurse’s pushing and shoving in the opposite direction caused Jon’s hand to slowly lose grip of Trixie’s hoof.
“C’mon doc!” He begged, “I feel fine!”
“I’m sorry? Did you go to Equestrian medical school?” She asked while pushing him back in his own bed, “Didn’t think so! Now stay put or I’ll be forced to relocate you to another room!”
After reluctantly agreeing, Jon slid back under his covers while simultaneously making plans to disobey her once again.
“I realize you seem fine now, but we’re still waiting on some other tests to get back.” She explained. “Not to mention that if you don’t take it easy right now, there is a good chance that you’ll suffer from...”
As the nurse began to lecture Jon on the dangers of not getting enough rest after an ordeal like his, he looked to the side, unable to stop staring at Trixie who was still sleeping and partly connected to the wall. She still appeared to be in a horrible condition, and he hated how he couldn’t help her.
The sound of the nurse’s lecture to him just sounded like white noise with the only thing audible to him being the sound of the machines keeping Trixie alive, working in rhythm with his own heartbeat. If he had his way, he’d walk over to her, hold her tight, and never let go.
The doctor noticed that his attention was no longer on her so, to help, she closed the curtain between the two patients.
“Now then,” She said, “I advise you to stay in bed from here on out... You may be the Princess’ friend, but for now, you’re my patient.” and with that, the nurse left Jon’s field of vision and exited the room with an audible thud of the door closing. Jon barely waited a few seconds before throwing the covers off of him and swinging his legs to a sitting position on the edge of his bed.
Before getting up, however, the sound of the door opening caught his attention.
“Damn.” Jon moaned, but rather than the nurse once again catching him in the act, he heard a very familiar gentle voice.
“Oh... and Jon... one more thing. I realize that all of this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t offered you my services to begin with.” Celestia explained from behind the curtain, “So... if you want... I’d... I’d understand if, after this, you never want to see us again.”
After that, the room fell silent with no one saying anything. The only sound that followed was the door closing as Celestia left the room leaving Jon alone once more.
Episode 15: Luna on The Daily Show
Interview: Please welcome to the show Luna!
The Daily Show Interview transcript archive:
Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Princess Luna
Date: ???
Location: Canterlot Concert Hall
1758 48th Canterlot, EQ 81522
THIS IS THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART
The executive producers at Comedy Central were making more money than ever before with Jon’s series of Equestrian Interviews. Subsequently, this meant that they wanted to have more control over the program so they could manipulate when they saw fit. Unfortunately for them, since Jon was the only one allowed to speak with Celestia, their influence over the series was limited to spirited suggestions.
One suggestion was that Jon do an episode in Equestria to appeal to an entirely new market, much in the same way he went to Florida during the presidential race. Jon never did fully like this idea since he never had to perform in front of a pony audience before, something which would be well out of his element.
However, with Jon’s request to head back home denied by the castle doctors, and the fact that he had now performed in front of ponies, when he met with Fancy Pants, he felt that there would never be another golden opportunity like this to have an episode of the show take place in the world of talking animals. Especially since his guest was a Princess.
The biggest problem Jon ran into when setting up this special episode of the Daily Show wasn’t the idea itself, Celestia was all too thrilled to have an episode of her favorite program happen in her own backyard. What Jon had a hard time doing was convincing her to let his employees transverse planes of existences and into Canterlot.
Equestria was filled with a variety of talented young mares and colts, but not a lot of them were terribly proficient in the art of television. Even those who did knew a thing about broadcasting or how to handle stage props didn’t know the intricacies of the Daily Show. Plus, there were no Jews in Equestria, so comedy writers were also out of the question.
It was for all of these excellent reasons that Jon requested that his entire staff and crew be permitted to enter her domain. To his surprise, he was met with some opposition. Celestia didn’t particularly like the idea of that many humans entering her world, not because she had anything against them as a species, but because she, for the most part, only trusted Stewart. She was fine with letting him or his wife come over, but this seemed too excessive to her.
Giving up was not something Jon was comfortable with, so it only took a few complaints about his injuries and forced coughing fits to guilt trip Celestia into agreeing with him. In the end, the two of them (unlike the politicians that Jon routinely made fun of) decided to compromise and put together a staff of both ponies, a core group of Jon’s finest workers, and his own personal assistant. To their surprise, things went by swimmingly.
After the initial shock from the helper ponies and Jon’s staff meeting each other, both parties went straight to work on the set. Leading the charge on this project without a second thought was Jon’s assistant, Selina, who did so as if this was just another day at work.
The Canterlot Concert Hall was mainly used for musical performances, but after a few tweaks in it’s interior design, it soon became an ideal spot for an episode of the Daily Show. Usually getting a stage set up for their show in a new area took days, with something as little as lighting and prop placements taking hours, but with the combined help of ponies and humans, it became almost trivial.
Instead of having to painstakingly measure the right angles, then having to climb up the scaffolding and carefully install the lights, a human technician would just tell a pegasus were to go, whereupon he or she would just fly up there and just do it themselves.
Indeed, instead of having to physically lug around heavy set ornaments and backdrops, a human would instruct a group of unicorns to effortlessly levitate them to their proper locations.
Even Celestia got to help by offering to enchant Jon’s cameras so their signal could reach earth easily and without complications, something which he thought she was joking, but turned out be very much needed. The only one who didn’t have a hand in the development was Luna herself who took to staying in her room looking down on the concert hall like she would at tiny ants, waiting for her signal to join them. Which she would get during the third segment of Jon’s show.
What was once a quiet outdoor theater for classical music now more closely resembled a festival with a seemingly endless stretch of audience consisting of ponies both local and from far away cities. The promise of an episode of the Daily Show taking place in Equestria brought with it a turn out that surprised even Celestia.
A pegasus who was high above the stage had a camera strapped to it’s person and was in charge of getting a good view of the audience as it slowly flew to the stage to get a good shot of Jon on his desk waving and making hand gestures.
The sound of the audience stomping on the ground as the the show went live was both familiar and, at the same time, foreign to Jon. Obviously, he was no stranger to the sound of applause, but with the ponies stomping the ground as opposed to clapping hands, he got the feeling that he was in the middle of a stampede rather than a concert hall.
Jon may have been in a different world, performing in a different environment, for an entirely different species, but never did he feel out of place. Because the second that camera came into the correct viewpoint, he was in the zone.
“Hey, welcome back to our very special edition of the Daily Show! My guest tonight!” He yelled over the crowd. “She is one of the princesses of Canterlot, the sister of Celestia and the ruler of the night sky.”
Youtube Video
“Yeah, that’s not creepy at all.” Jon commented after the video clip of his guest ended. “Please welcome to the Show, Princess Luna!”
While the crowd applauded and cheered, a Unicorn backstage used her horn to activate a searchlight overhead. She shined it skywards at Canterlot Castle, strategically on the bedroom window where Luna was perched like a hawk.
Before descending down to her spot, the guest of the hour stayed crouched and watched as the audience cheered for her come down. She could just barely hear them over the sound of an electric guitar playing over the speakers which was requested by Jon himself.
After some time had passed, Luna began to move. With a stretch of her wings, she lept from atop her balcony and flew down to the stage, first making it seem like she was going to dive bomb right into the middle of the audience, only to pull up mid-flight to make a beeline towards Jon.
Once she landed in the center of the stage, Jon greeted her with a professional hoof shake which caused the crowd to cheer even more. Slowly the sound of the rock music began to fade away in volume which was a sign for the audience to do the same. Eventually, it was quiet enough for Jon to speak which he did only after both he and Luna found their seats.
"Please, please take a seat...uh...Now before we begin let me remind you once more...you already have a microphone attached to you...if you yell now you'll kill us all." Jon joked as he sat down. “So...Thank you so much for, uh... f-for being here today.”
“It is our pleasure, Mr. Stewart.” Luna said, making sure to not use her full Canterlot voice. “Thine crew did a remarkable job with the music hall... we have seen this stadium countless times, but never like this.”
“Ah well, it was easy when you have interns.” Jon joked. “As you can see, I brought a lot of them with me... BUT THIS ISN’T AN INVASION!...I know...I know the last time a foreign group of creatures... came here, it didn’t end... uh, very well SO... just know, we come in peace.”
Luna didn't have a chance to comment on that since the crowd’s laughter came first. So when she saw an opening to speak, she decided to move on to something else.
“Nevertheless... we are still impressed by such a feat... though we must say... that was some very... interesting choice of music thou choseth to use for our entrance.” She added.
“Oh that? That was from... that was the guitar solo from... uh from, from, from one of Ozzy Osbourne’s hit singles.” Jon explained. He paused for a second to let that sink in for a moment before commenting. “It’s from one of his songs called...’Bark at the moon.’”
Even though most, if not all, of the pony audience in attendance had no idea who Ozzy Osbourne was, the intended joke was still obvious enough for them to understand the punchline.
“Ah... we see.” Luna grunted with a look on her face like she should have seen it coming. “The logical connection is now obvious.”
“Yeah we uh... we were trying to decide which song to use... and let me tell ya... we... we had a lot of options.” He joked as he pulled out a list of names from his pile of notes. “We also could have gone with...‘Moonlight in Vermont’ by Willie Nelson... uh...‘Honky Tonk Moon’ by Randy Travis, ’Fly Me to the Moon’ by Frank Sinatra but that would’ve been too obvious... Uh, we also could’ve gone with, “Howlin’ at the Moon” by Hank Williams, “It’s Only a Paper Moon” by Jim Reeves, “Slow Dancing with the Moon” by Dolly Parton, hell yeah... there was also--”
“Yes, yes, yes we understand!” Luna interrupted only to be cut off momentarily by the crowd cheering for more. “...Thou was doing so in jest... please move along.”
“Oh well... I... suppose I could...” Jon murmured as he nervously played with his notes. “...It’s just that I... I uh... I,I,I had another one.”
The audience giggled as Jon looked up at Luna big eyes like an animal begging for food.
“Very well.” She sighed. “Proceed.”
“OK! This one... by far was the best.” Jon insisted as he cleared his throat. “Are you ready... uh ‘‘Throwin’ Horseshoes at the Moon’ by Tom Russell.”
Before commenting, Luna waited patiently for the audience to stop laughing.
“All Joking aside... I am glad you uh, you agreed to be here today.” Jon grinned.
“Tis an honor for us to have the chance to be on thous television program.” She noted. “We especially appreciated thous offering of cream filled chocolate confectioneries and strange ale that thou left at our bedroom door.”
“Oh you mean the gift basket filled with moon pies and ‘Blue moon’ beer?” Jon asked with a smile, which caused the crowd to laugh at Luna once more.
“...Is that what they are referred to as?” She inquired with a sigh, having now understood his intentions.
“Back in.... back in my world yes.” He answered while Luna rolled her eyes. “Hey, just be happy I didn’t pull down my pants and expose my butt in your face.”
This hypothetical scenario was so outrageous that is caused Luna to blush slightly and recoil as a result.
“Wh... Why wouldst thou do such a vulgar action!” Luna yelled. Jon waited for the sharp audio feedback to end before answering.
“Well...I don't know if it’s the same over here,” He explained. “but where I come from, that’s called ‘Mooning.’”
And with that, Luna slapped the front of her face while the audience cheered and stomped the ground as hard as they could. The way things were going, Luna felt like she was talking to her sister during one of her teasing moods rather than Jon himself.
“Thou seems to haveth a strange sense of humor.” She commented.
“You’ll get used to it.” Jon said as he tilted back looking very pleased with himself. “I got a million of these.”
“Thou will excuse us if we don’t see the appeal in such behavior.” She retorted with a flick of her hoof. “We may beith on your program, but this is still our kingdom and as such we demand respect... especially in front of our royal subjects”
Jon understood her wanting to be taken seriously, which is why he decided to move on to his next joke he had lined up from the start. Without saying a word, he pulled out a blank piece of paper and began to scribble some names on it.
“What is thou doing?” Luna asked as she stretched her long neck forward to get a better view.
“Oh this? Oh this is-- I’m just making a list of ponies I’ve interviewed with funny accents” Jon answered as the crowd giggled at the idea, like children in school watching the class clown mess with a substitute teacher. “Now... now unfortunately you are-- you don’t rank higher than Zecora, BUT... you easily top both Applejack and Iron Will.”
Luna would have explained the importance of talking the way she did since it was an honorable, albeit outdated, tradition in the kingdom of Canterlot, however her explanation never saw the light of day with the crowd laughing at her expense.
“Seriously Luna come on! You, you, you need to kick back and relax for goodness sake!” Jon pleaded which got an odd look from his guest. “This is a comedy show not a uh, Shakespeare reenactment... drop the fancy talk and stop being so formal.”
Growing up as a Princess, Luna was always taught to be pristine and orderly, almost bordering on the ostentatious, and then here was Jon who was outright encouraging to her abandon hundreds of years of instinct on her part.
Rather than argue with him, she turned to face the audience like she was trying to consult with them. She was greeted by many of her own subjects cheering at the suggestion and, since Luna didn’t want to disappoint her subjects, she obliged.
“We... I mean I... suppose I can do that.” She mumbled sheepishly.
“There ya go!” Jon roared as he did a quick pump of his fist. “Now that’s what I’m talking about... unfortunately that’s all the time we have left on the show so... goodnight everyone!”
To really bring the joke home, Jon stood and waved to the audience as a confused Luna, who had just finished easing back in her chair, shot up so quickly she almost took flight. She looked behind her at humans and ponies working backstage and noticed that they were laughing. With a sigh, she eased by in her seat and gave Jon a look as he too sat back down.
“But no I’m uh... I’m really glad you decided to... to uh... attend this airing. Because I... okay look.... so... uh, so, so, so just we are clear... I invited you on the show... more or less as a thank you for what you did.” Jon fumbled as he turned to the cameras. “For those of you watching at home... uh this... this nice young lady here saved my life from a dangerous queen who controlles a group of evil creatures called Changelings... Were it not for her... I would not be here today... and I know it all sounds crazy, but... I just can’t thank you enough, Ms. Luna.”
Having previously been subjected to his constant teasing, Luna was surprised to find Jon now speaking in more of a heartfelt tone. The transition was so abrupt, she didn’t even have time to respond.
“So with that in mind and with your permission” Jon continued while Luna nodded her head in bewilderment. “I would like to... that is to officially begin this interview... I, like many others back in my world, know next to nothing about you so... uh p-please.... enlighten us about who you are.”
For a brief moment, Luna didn’t say anything. She just stared at Jon on the off chance that this was just another clever ruse to make her look silly on camera. Soon though, the notion that he was in fact genuine became clear once she saw a look on his face, a look that said he was all too serious. Although the irony now was that she was making herself look foolish by waiting for a punchline that never came so, to help herself out, she finally spoke after clearing her throat.
“Yes, well... as you you seem to already know, I am but one of the princesses of Canterlot.” She disclosed. “Me and my sister are the rulers of the kingdom, and one of our primary duties is to maintain a constant flow of the astronomical seasons.”
“That’s right your sister is-- She is in charge of the sun, right?” Jon ventured.
“Correct Mr. Stewart.” Luna answered. “My dearest sister controls the movements of the sun and is looked upon as the princess of the day, much in the same way I control the moon and, as such, have been appointed as the ruler of the night.”
“Wow... if Celestia ever goes one on one with Superman, he is fucked.” He joked. “So... so, so, so what you’re saying is... that instead of the cosmos working on their own... by the way of gravity and uh... and all that good stuff... you and your sister just... do it yourselves?”
“What you say is the truth.” She responded.
“Aaand some where back in the human world, a furious Neil Degrasse Tyson is tearing apart a science textbook.” Jon said. “But now uh... just setting aside fifth grade science for the, for the time being, I have to ask... what other duties do... do you guys involve yourself with because... what you need to understand... from a human point of view, we have our own queen, over in England, and we don’t expect her to do ANYTHING!”
“The responsibilities of Equestrian Royalty are various and crucial.” She remarked. “My sister does many things, from delegation of treaties with other bodies of government, to handling local problems. I myself do what I can to make sure that each and every pony who walks the roads at night will do so in safety.”
“So, are you guys like the pony versions of ‘Life Alert’? If someone falls down, they call you?” Jon jested. Before Luna could answer Jon already took the moment to speak again. “Now it sounds like... you and your sister have a uh, a good relationship with your subjects.”
“Oh, indeed so.” Luna commented. “Why, as a matter of fact, my dear sister has this program called the ‘open chamber proposal.’”
“Sounds like an invitation I once got to an all-night sex party... uh, right down to the phrase ‘open chamber.’” Jon commented while the crowd laughed and Luna gave him a look like she was asking if she could continue. “Aaaah yeah, but anyways... you were saying.”
“Now then... the ‘open chamber proposal’ is a project that my sister has been using quite recently.” She continued as the crowd still snickered. “It’s a day set aside each week where anypony, regardless of class or background, can address the Princess in the main throne room for any reason, and without the need of an appointment. I myself attend these ceremonies on the off chance that I can help answer some questions and concerns.”
“Wow... that’s actually a really nice gesture from state leaders.” Jon admitted as he nodded his head and sat up in his seat. “It’s refreshing to see people in power do things like... you know, actually our former leaders had a similar program when they were in charge.”
“Is this so?” Luna asked.
“Oh yes, it’s true.” Jon added. “Way back in the day our presidents would allow any and all lawmakers... and community politicians to enter the White House to talk with... uh.... uh, with the president at the time... but this program was only open to fellow politicians.”
“Most interesting to be sure.” Luna nodded her head. “Our program is much different in that everypony from all walks of life are invited.”
“It’s very interesting that... that you see yourself... as someone who handles both large and small problems.” He commented as he leaned forward and made sweeping gestures with his hand. “You’re responsible... literally responsible... uh, for... for, for the constant shifting of astronomical entities yet, at the same time, you try to help the... to help anyone out on a midnight stroll.”
“It's to be expected...It is our philosophy that the concerns of our loyal subjects are to be taken seriously, no matter how small." Luna proclaimed as she held her head high in the air. "The rising of the sun is just as important as helping a local farmer plant the seeds that will use that sunlight.”
“Wow.” Jon said as the sound of the audience pounding the ground with their hooves filled the night air. “I just... it’s good to see-- it’s good to know that there are leaders who truly care about those they govern.”
The audience continued to applaud in agreement which made Luna feel slightly uncomfortable. She appreciated their admiration, but it was something that she wasn’t used to.
“Now... if we can, I’d like to go back for a second to your guys’ roles as... uh I guess gods of the stars.” Jon said as he waved his arm in a circle. “I’d like to know... just how involved you are in this role.”
“I am unsure of what you are asking me.” Luna said.
“Well I mean where... how do you move the moon or... how do you know when and where it’s positions will be.” Jon explained. “You know that kind of thing... I mean like... uh have you ever even been to the moon?”
Jon was unsure why, but upon asking his seemingly innocent question, the entire audience went quiet. Both they and Luna stared at Jon with a face like he’d asked her something wildly inappropriate.
The reaction from everyone who heard what Jon asked was split evenly between humans and ponies. Those in the latter were shocked that he would even ask such a question, while those in the former were confused as to why there was the sudden tension in the air.
“Um... was it something I said?” Jon asked. With a deep sigh, Luna begrudgingly answered
“No it’s... Yes... I... I have been to the moon.” She answered dismissively. Jon was tempting to comment right away, but based on how she answered, he wasn’t sure whether he should offer his congratulations or condolences.
“I feel like I’m missing something here.” He said in a low tone.
“Like I said... I have been on the moon before... but it wasn’t of my own free will.” She recalled. “A long time ago... I was forced to the moon as punishment for my misguided behavior... You see... at one point, I was envious of my sister and her authority... so much so that I foolishly tried to usurp power from my her and, as a result... I was banished to the moon.”
This sudden revelation surprised Jon to no end. Since his first encounter with Luna, he’d seen her as nothing but a hero and a saint... but to know that, at one point, she tried overthrow her own sister had seemed unbelievable.
“I’m... I’m sorry.” Jon said. “I had no idea.”
“Tis alright, Mr. Stewart... I blame not my sister for my own actions... it was something she needed to do.” She continued, followed by a quick sigh. “Besides, the point of an interview is to ask questions, is it not?” Whether or not that was in invitation for Jon to continue, he decided that he couldn’t let an opportunity like this pass.
“Well... I have to ask... what... what was it like on the moon?” He asked cautiously.
“It... it was horrible” Luna answered. “It was an experience I hope to never relive again, nor would I wish such a fate on my greatest enemy.”
Everyone went quiet as Luna recounted her experience during the darkest days of her life.
“Someponies assume that my going to the moon was the real punishment, but they are wrong... what really made it a true nightmarish experience was the loneliness... the curshing isolation of it all.” She explained as she looked up into the night sky “The moon itself wasn’t my prison, but rather, I was the prisoner of my own mind... I was up there for so long that I began to lose touch with reality and, as a result, I... transformed to something... evil.”
“Evil?” He asked. “I’m guessing you don’t mean like... you just returned with a dastardly mustache?” The decision to crack a quick joke to liven up the tension was done very reluctantly by Jon... To his relief, Luna didn’t seem to notice.
“You don’t seem to understand... as I said, I was away for so long that my mind began to deteriorate... The petty jealousy I once felt for my sister festered until it manifested into an intense hatred.” She explained. “Tell Mr. Stewart... have you ever heard of a creature called ‘Nightmare Moon.’”
Jon didn’t answer, but instead, just laid back in his seat and continued to listen to his guest.
“You see, after many years of isolation on that desolate rock, I eventually returned... only by the time I did, I wasn’t reformed as some had hoped, but the opposite... instead, I was a shell of my former self and, for a while, I reigned terror over the land as a dark creature of the night known as ‘Nightmare Moon.’”
Again, Jon found himself hard pressed to believe that, at one point, Luna was anything but a savior. Her description of a power hungry monster did not fit the image he had of her. It was for this reason that Jon tried again squeeze an ounce of levity out of this.
“That’s... I couldn't even... be... begin to imagine what that must have felt like.” He nervously stated. “One could almost say that you’re time on the moon had made you into a Lunatic.”
This time around, his weak attempt of to lighten up the mood was met by Luna glaring at him with somewhat angry eyes. Despite their cultural differences for the subject at hand, she still didn’t appreciate his joking on such a serious subject.
“It baffles us on how thou could speaketh of such things with such disrespect!” She scolded in a calm though strong voice.
“I... I do apologize!” Jon frantically blurted. “I meant nothing by it.”
“HMPH! I suppose I shouldn't expect you of all people to understand.” She added. “How could you possibly... you humans have never been to the moon before.”
Just like before, the reaction of what Luna said was split between the humans and ponies in attendance. The various ponies watching merely waited to see Jon’s response, while the humans chuckled to themselves.
“Actually,” Jon chimed with a grin. “We have.”
Before Luna and those who watched were in a slight melancholic mood but now, much like how Jon intended, the tone of the interview had shifted. In Equestria, only one person had been to the moon and that resulted in a new evil emerging, so to them, going there was synonymous with disaster. Hearing that a human had done the same instantly seized Luna’s attention... She had never heard of someone other than herself having gone through what she did.
“There... there have been humans who... who’ve been... to where I’ve been?” Luna asked as the pony crowd whispered to each other.
“Oh yeah, a bunch of times.” He commented offhandedly. “In fact... I remember when I first saw the moon landing back when I was... uh, let's see I would have been only seven years old... I’ll never forget it... I was watching TV at home and I uh... I was just... I was mesmerized by the image of Neil Armstrong... taking his first step on the moon’s surface... It was incredible.”
“I... I must admit, I thought I was the only one... who ever...” She said pausing to take this all in. “Tell me Mr. Stewart... this Neil of which you speak of... What were his crimes?”
“Beg pardon?” Jon asked.
“This human you speak of with strong arms... what did he do to earn the punishment of being sent to that horrible place.” She explained.
“Uuuuuh Luna... this wasn’t a punishment... he went there of his own free will.” He explained.
“Wha-- I don’t... EXCUSE ME!” She blurted. “Are you telling me, this Neil actually wanted to go to the moon!?”
“Of course he did.” Jon answered in a tone like it was Luna who was spouting nonsense.
“And your people just let him go through with this!?” She added.
“‘Let him? We footed the bill.” He replied. “The entire nation was behind Mr. Armstrong in his mission into space. We funded the entire operation, followed his movements and, when it was time, hoped that he’d make it there safely.”
“...Wha.... I.... wh...what is wrong with you people!” Luna exclaimed. “You sent one of your own to a horrible... loathsome place!”
“Well, with all due respect Luna... We-- that’s not how we saw it... the idea of putting a man on the moon seemed impossible... like something out of a sci fi movie.” He explained. “To us, this was more than just a few hours of walking on a floating rock... It-- to us it represented something so much more. For us it was a turning point in human history... A day where we uh, where we looked at ourselves and said ‘This is only the beginning.’ To us this meant that if we can put a kid from Ohio on something we thought was unreachable then we could do anything.”
“I... never thought about it that way.” Luna confessed. The way Jon described it made Luna feel the same kind of jealously that landed her on the moon in the first place. To hear about how someone else went to the moon like she did, but with drastically different circumstances, made her feel small by comparison.
“I’ll never forget hearing those famous words for the first time... ’That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.’” He quoted with a hand over his heart. “And then... he still did the impossible and returned back to earth safe and sound... He returned a hero.”
“A...hero, huh.” Luna said as she looked upwards into the sky.
“Yeah; just like you.” Jon said.
“I... I-I’m no hero.” She replied. “When I came back from the moon ponies feared me. I’m just a--”
“Hey... you are to me.” Jon said as he placed a hand over her hoof. “The fact that I’m still alive today is a testament to that.”
“I... thank you.” Luna said, still unfamiliar with such praise.
There was a brief pause followed by Luna’s turn in trying to desperately change the tone around.
“So uh... this Neil Armstrong... uh, how long was he on the moon?” She asked.
“Well let’s see... if I remember correctly, he was up there for less than a day.” Jon answered. “And memory serves, he was actually walking on the moon even less... basically enough time to plant a flag, but not enough to pee his name on the surface... so a few hours I’d say.”
“Oh... that’s it?” She asked causing the audience to laugh.
“What do you mean ‘that’s it!?’ At the time it was the single greatest human accomplishment of man AND fun fact... the day we officially declared that the moon wasn’t made of cheese?’” Jon blurted. “It was an... incr--it was an amazing feat!... How bout you? How long were you up there for, huh?”
“1000 years.” She said, her tone more blunt than a roofing tile.
Jon’s eyes, as well as those of his entire human staff, widened like a light was flashed in their face. Jon’s mouth had fallen open, but he didn’t know what to say which was ideal since no one would be able to hear anything he would’ve said over the noise of the crowd laughing.
“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Jon yelled. “You were up there for 1000 years, I don--... wait... YOU’RE 1000 YEARS OLD!?”
“I’m actually much older, if you must know.” She scoffed. The look on Jon’s face told Luna that he still didn’t quite understand her position. “Oh uh... Alicorns live forever... I was on the moon for only a small portion of my life.”
“Jesus Christ I--Well then... uh... let me just say this.” Jon pointed with his pen as he took a deep breath to calm himself down. “You don’t look a day over 400.”
For the first time during the interview, Luna actually found herself laughing which was a surprise, not just to herself, but by everyone watching.
“Might I ask you a question, Mr. Stewart?” She ventured as the crowd leaned forward in anticipation for what she’d ask.
“Of course.” He answered. “And please, call me Jon.”
“If that is your wish that I will oblige... but tell me, do you know this Neil Armstrong.” She asked. “I would... very much like to meet him.”
“I don’t, I’m afraid.” He answered. “And I’m afraid meeting him is out of the question... He died not too long ago.”
“Oh I see... how tragic.” She said. “How old was he when he passed on?”
“He was... I think 82 years old.” Jon guessed correctly..
“My, so young... during my 82nd year on the moon, I was still crying.” Luna answered. “What a shame... It would have been nice to have talked with another being who has been through what I have.”
“What uh... what would he... I mean, what would you two talk about?” Jon asked. “Because aside from the whole moon thing... eeeeeh, you two are kinda different.”
“I am... unsure.” Luna answered. “It just... would have been nice to share experiences.”
“If you don’t mind me asking...do you even remember much about your time up there?” He asked. “I mean 1000 years is a long time.”
Before answering his question Luna leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes to think.
“I shall be perfectly honest with you Jon... I do not.” She answered. “Once my mind began to dissolve, I lost a lot of memories of what I did... I do remember being incredibly incredibly woeful, and hearing the phrase ‘AEIOU’ over and over again, but when I try to recall more than that I cannot ... it just would have been nice to know if Neil’s time on the surface was anything like mine.”
“Well, I’ve never been to the moon and I can guess that it wasn’t very much fun.” Jon commented. “I hear that place is reeeeally lacking in atmosphere.”
Against their better judgement, the crowd laughed while Luna playfully shook her head and gave Jon a half smile.
“How very clever.” She said.
“Like I said, I have I have a million of them.” He smirked. “Speaking of big numbers...1000 years!... My god that... you must have been so bored!”
“Yes well... it wasn’t meant to be for my pleasure.” Luna said over the laughter of the audience.
“I get that but still... I mean they should have at least given you a magazine, or a Gameboy or somthing to keep you occupied.” He added.
“A what?” She asked.
“A Gameboy.” Jon repeated.
“I do not understand.” She commented. “What is this Game of boys of which you speak of.”
“It’s a videogame?” Jon answered.
“A what?” She repeated, causing the audience to laugh at the pair of old people on stage making small talk
“Okay, let me see here,” Jon said as he threw his head back to try and recap all that he knew about the subject which was extremely limited. “Okay, you guys have movies over here... right?”
“But of course, Jon.” Luna answered.
“Well, videogames are like those... only you get to control what happens.” Jon surmised hoping he would be even remotely close.
“How... intriguing.” Luna said, now slightly mesmerized. “A form of media that is completely interactive. Sounds fascinating... tell me more!”
“Uh, I’m afraid I don’t know much about... I mean I’m uh, I’m sure my assistant can tell you more than I could after the show.” Jon advised, not entirely sure if Selina knew more than he did. “But going back to uh... to, to, to, you for a second... if you are indeed 1000s of years old then you... you my dear, must be very skilled in the art of magic.”
“I am... though I may not be as powerful as my sister, I am indeed an expert in the art of Magic.” She admitted.
“I hate to have... I mean I hate to ask, but would you mind demonstrating some of your magic for us tonight?” Jon asked. “I think the audience at home would love to see... what a Princess can do.”
Like before, Luna turned to the audience to gauge their reaction and, also like before, they encouraged her to proceed at will. Her decision was already made up for her.
“Very well then, Jon!” She said as she extended her wings. “Prepare to witness the power of the Guardian of the night!”
“Actually, I’m going to stop you right there.” Jon interrupted. “On this show, we’ve already seen some magic so, just know if what you’re about to do is any form of: Teleportation, levitation...or power beams, just know we’ve seen it before.”
“Ah... I see.” Luna said as she sat back down. “In that case, I humbly request you give me time to think.”
Luna concentrated on what to show the audience which was difficult with them still chuckling at her. It was only when both they and Jon stopped did she think of an idea to wow them.
“Aha! I got it!” She exclaimed.
“Alright!... So what are ya gonna do?” Jon asked.
“Well... first let me start by saying that, throughout this interview, you’ve asked most of the questions about my life and I still know very little about you.” Luna smirked.
“Oh well... by, uh... by all means feel free to ask me anything you want.” Jon said. “I'm more than willing to answer any question you might have for me.”
“Weeell.” Luna chuckled. “Thanks to my magic... I don’t have to.”
With a shift of her head, Luna pointed her horn directly at Jon’s face. Although she was complying with what Jon requested, he still didn’t like the idea of a long horn being shoved in his face; not after the last time something like that happened.
“W-w-w-what the hell are you doing?” Jon asked, as he backed away slowly in his seat.
“There is no need to be frightened.” She said. “I am simply going to cast a spell on you... It is harmless, I assure you.”
A white light began to develop on the top of her horn. Eventually, it got bigger and bigger, to the point where it was roughly the size of Jon’s head. Once it was finished growing in size, it slowly made it’s way to his face where it enveloped him for a few seconds, then came back to Luna. Soon, the white light was absorbed by her horn and eventually into her her head where it rested in her brain.
“And there we go.” She said.
“Sooooooo...” Jon cooed. “What did you do to me?”
“I simply casted a spell that allowed me to access your mind.” She answered. “Basically... I now have a working knowledge of everything that is Jon Stewart.”
While the crowd began to gossip amongst themselves, Jon was busily touching the side of his head while sporting a look of disbelief.
“No way.” He said. “I don’t believe you.”
“Oh I assure you, what I say is the truth.” She assured him.
“Oh yeah... prove it.” Jon said in a disbelieving tone.
“As you wish.” Luna added with a chuckle as she closed her eyes. “Your real name is Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz, and your parents are Marian née Laskin and Donald Leibowitz. You were born on November 28, 1962 in New York City, New York, of the United States, but you spent most of your childhood in the further off kingdom known as New Jersey.”
Jon was all but ready to call her on her bluff, but everything she was saying was true, as if she was reading off his profile page on Wikipedia. In his time in Equestria, he’d seen different forms of magic, but this was by far the most shocking. And she was only just warming up.
“You graduated in 1984 from The College of William & Mary in Virginia, where you played on the soccer team and initially majored in chemistry before switching to psychology.” She continued. “You later decided to pursue your long love of comedy in nightclubs in the City. Your very first performance came in the form of a standup act in a place within New york called 'The village' at one o’clock in the morning...you were so nervous to be on stage for the first time that you almost--”
“OKAY, OKAY, I GET IT! YOU'RE NOT KIDDING!” Jon yelled almost as if he, himself, was attempting to add the royal canterlot voice to his repertoire of impersonations.
Everyone from the audience, to Luna, and even Jon’s assistant Selina, was laughing at the now blushing comedian. Jon was determined to get revenge.
“So... you now know everything about me, huh?” Jon said with an unimpressed face.
“Correct.” Luna boasted.
“In that case... do you know what happened to me that uh... that uh, one summer when I was thirteen... and uh... my mom caught me in my room doing something when I thought she was out grocery shopping?” Jon asked.
“No... but I can find out if I wanted to.” She bragged as she once again cocked her head back and accessed her memory bank. In time, her face began to scrunch in protest, she immediately regretted her decision. .
“Uh... I... Oh!” She groaned as her face turned red. The look on her face was that of a pony who saw something she shouldn't have. “I... really wish I didn’t see that.”
While some of the audience members were left wondering what she saw, Jon was now laughing so hard Luna could almost smell his breath from across the table.
“Okay now, here... here is... here is, uh, the real question.” Jon said while still trying to regain his composure. “Since you know everything there is to know about me... can you--how would you describe me... or, or, or how bout...you...try to summarize me in a single sentence?”
After convincing herself that his was a legitimate question and not another prank, Luna closed her eyes to search her new found memory. After a while of searching, she returned to the interview with a summary she felt was most accurate.
“You... Jon Stewart.” She said, pausing to get her facts straight. “...You seem... to be obsessed with another human by the name of Bruce Springsteen.”
This revelation was news to absolutely no one who knew Jon on a personal level, and for the second time that night, indirectly or otherwise, Luna had made Jon laugh so loud that he had to place both his elbows on the table to balance himself.
“Okay... now I’m convinced you know everything about me.” Jon said as he cleared his throat which was aching from all the laughing. “But tell me... I’m not the only... I mean... do you... uh, do you ever use this... uh, this memory grabbing spell on anyone else?”
“Not as often as you might suspect.” Luna admitted. “But I do have a similar spell that allows me to access pony’s dreams.”
Jon’s laughing was cut short by this new bit of information. At first he didn’t believe it, but once he realized what Luna was capable of, such a skill didn’t seem so farfetched.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa there Freddy Krueger!” Jon stammered. “You... can go into people’s subconscious... while they sleep?”
“I am the guardian of the night, Jon.” She answered. “Remember how I said I protect those during the night... that applies to both their physical and mental form.”
“Wow... and here I thought Bush illegally reading our emails was the biggest invasion of privacy a leader could do.” Jon joked.
“You make it sound so unpleasant, but I assure you, it is done solely for the benefit of those who need my guidance.” She retorted. “In fact, most of the time, the ponies dream the most wonderful thoughts... while others have some of the most interesting imaginations.”
“Alright but uh... tell me... do some of the other ponies ever have some like... really messed up dreams?” Jon asked as he leaned in and whispered. While, normally, Luna would have refrained from talking about other’s private thoughts, she was too swept in the moment to take that into consideration.
“UGH! Like you wouldn’t believe it!” She grunted. “Some ponies dream of... for lack of a better term, interesting sequences while other’s have overly creative fantasies... I recall this one incident where I entered the Mayor Mare’s thoughts during her REM sleep... let’s just say if she had her way, she’d be more than just Mayor of Ponyville.”
“I... I don’t want to sound like a gossip.” Jon chuckled. “But what other interesting dreams have-- Okay, like how about uh... uh Derpy Hooves... what are her dreams like?”
“Ah yes... the one with... special eyes. She... doesn’t really dream much... it’s mostly just empty space.” She said. Jon laughed wholeheartedly since her recollection sounded spot on. “And when she does dream, it’s either of muffins, her husband, or some odd combination.”
“Who--are there any... any ponies whose dreams you just... totally avoid.” Jon asked. “You know like--”
“Well... in some cases, experience had taught me to skip over every now and again.” Luna answered. “Some ponies have regular recurring dreams that are not worth dwelling over... such as young Rainbow Dash who either dreams about being a Wonderbolt of herself and Applejack in the middle of a--”
“OKAY! Well on that note, I think we’re just about done here!” Jon interrupted. “But before we, I just want to say that... Luna, it was an absolute pleasure to get to know you here today.”
“Likewise, Jon.” She said as Jon grabbed her hoof to give it a shake. “I find you to be a most interesting character.”
“And again... I cannot thank you enough for saving both Trixie and I.” He said. “Were it not for you, that evil creature would have... neither of us would still be alive.”
“And as I said before... I just did what anypony else would do.” She commented.
“Well... I don’t know if that’s 100% true... which is why I’m glad it was you that was there in the castle that day.” Jon continued. “Back in my world there is saying that goes: ‘All it takes for Evil to prevail in this world is for enough good men to do nothing’... I’ve seen so many instances back home, and covered stories where this was true... I’m just glad this world showed me that there are those like you and Trixie... who, despite what they’ve been through, are brave enough to stand up to evil.”
The audience began to cheer for the guest of the evening which, at this point, no longer felt an alien concept to Luna, but something that she would gladly accept.
“Now then... before we go to our last commercial break, I think our audience would like to see just one more... one more princess level magic spell.” Jon announced, which made the crowd roar in agreement. "Whad'ya say?"
This time Luna didn’t need to think of a spell to impress the judges. She already had the perfect incantation in mind for her new human friend and, like before, she needed to use it directly on Jon himself.
“For you Jon... anything.” She said as she once again lowered her horn and pointed it at his face. Again, he wasn’t too thrilled to have her horn pointed at him, but he knew he was safe, so he didn’t make a fuss about it. Although, like with the previous spell, he was somewhat nervous at the prospect of being used as a guinea pig for whatever magic she had in mind. “Now then... Stay still.”
At first, her entire horn began to glow the same color blue as mane. Whatever she was cooking up, it obviously needed a lot of power, but before Jon could ask what she was going to do with such a large amount of magic, it leapt from her horn and straight into Jon’s chest.
“WOW!” He yelled as the magic quickly spread throughout his body. From an outsider’s point of view, Jon was momentarily engulfed in a bright light that made it impossible to see him as anything other than a walking glowing figure, but just as quickly as the magic took hold, it eventually disappeared, leaving a bewildered Jon sitting in his chair.
“That... was... INCREDIBLE!” Jon yelled as a mysterious power flowed through his veins like he had never felt before. “Oh man, Luna I don’t know what you did to me, but I feel GREAT!”
To demonstrate his newfound energy, he quickly stood to stretch his muscles and arched his back as far as he could. All the aches and pains from his encounter with Chrysalis were now a thing of the past as his body felt like he had just awoken from a thirty year nap. Even the restrictions from before his encounter with the Changeling Queen seemed to have suddenly vanished. His eyesight was better, he felt stronger as if his bones were just fortified, and he could swear he had just lost some weight.
“I have never felt... so alive!” Jon said as he rotated his head from side to side to stretch his neck. “So what kind of spell was that like some kind of... rejuvenation spell or what, because I--“
When Jon tilted his head to the side of the audience he noticed that every single one of them was staring at him with mouths agape and a look about them like this was the first time they’ve ever seen a human.
His own staff and crew, who were watching from the sidelines, had a similar shocked expression. Even Selina was so surprised to see Jon that she dropped her clipboard onto the ground.
“What?” Jon said as she slowly raised his hand to his cheek. “Is there something on my face or some--”
The moment the warm feel of his face made contact with his hand, Jon stopped talking and froze in his seat. Something was different about him, only now he could feel it more directionally. His once wrinkled skin now felt smooth and pure like a newborn baby. He could also hardly feel the stubble of his chin from his lack of shaving that day.
The second thing he noticed was the very hand he was still holding up. Like his face, it too was now lacking in any form of blemishes or creases. The old saying “I know it like the back of my own hand” no longer applied to Jon.
“What the... what the hell did you do to me?” Jon asked Luna will still looking at his open palm.
“See for yourself.” She chuckled as she used her magic to produce a large rectangular object in front of him. At first, Jon mistakenly thought she had summoned some kind of portrait or something similar, since it held an image of a young looking human that Jon didn’t recognize. After a few seconds of continued staring however, he finally made the connection. Jon was looking at a mirror... only, instead of seeing what he expected, he now saw himself as he was thirty years ago.
“Oh. My. God.” Jon stammered as he slowly raised his hands to see if the image would follow, slowly running them through his long dark black hair.
“In case you haven’t figured it out yet, the spell I infused within you was an age reversal spell.” She explained while Jon played with his face as if it was made of a kneadable clay. “Congratulations Jon... you are now 20 years old again.”
“I... wha... I just...” Jon struggled to speak. He always liked to joke to his friends that taking over the Daily Show had aged him by 10 years to the point where he didn't recognize himself from back when he did his first episode. This was very much like that but to an extreme degree.
To further test this newfound longevity, Jon began flex his arms and throw a punch or two to see how fast his reflexes were.
“Well I... that is... um.” He stuttered “Is... is... is this... uh, is this permanent?”
“I’m afraid it’ll only last 24 hours,” Luna answered. “If you want, I can make it so you’ll stay this age.”
“Uh... no, uh... no thanks, I uh... that’s, that’s alright.” Jon fumbled with his worlds. “My uh...my wife would kill me if I ever outlived her.”
While Jon continued to admire himself in the mirror, Luna playfully leaned forward into the mirror and made it disappear, forcing Jon to look at her in the face.
“Aren't you going to ask me something?.” She chuckled.
“I... OH! Oh, you’re right!” Jon fumbled as he grabbed her hoof. “Uh Luna... tha-thanks for... for uh being here today and uh... would... would you mind st--”
“Yes, I’ll stay a little bit longer for the show.” Luna interrupted.
“Okay... uh... thanks.” Jon said, he wasn’t used to being thrown off guard this much by a guest.. “Um... P-princess Luna everyone... we’ll... uh.. we’ll be-- actually NO! I’m... I’m going to try something first!”
Without even so much as an ‘excuse me’, Jon jumped from his chair and ran to one end of the stage where he positioned himself on the very edge without falling over.
“I haven’t done this in years!” He said.
Everyone watched as the now younger and vivacious Jon Stewart sprinted across the stage as fast as he legs could take him. When he reached to about the halfway point, he threw himself forward, only to catch himself by placing his hands on the ground and tossing his feet in the air. The crowd frantically stomped the ground; praising Jon for having done a perfect cartwheel.
“HELL YEAH!” Jon roared, as he pumped his fists in triumph. “PRINCESS LUNA EVERYONE! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK!”
The pegasus operating the camera high above the crowd had to fly carefully to the side in order to get a good shot of Jon who was excitedly playing to the crowd with hand gestures and smiles. Those watching at home got to see the last scene where Luna snuck up behind to join him in waving to the audience.
The Daily show logo eventually found its way onto the camera right before Jon hugged Luna on the stage and whispered something in her ear. The camera then panned slightly inward to get a good shot of the massive amount of ponies who came to watch the show before the the screen turned to black for the last commercial break.
