And A Big Desert Where Our Protagonists Do Nothing But Chat
It was another peaceful night as the Dazzlings slept like logs in their van. Adagio and Aria were sitting right up on the front seats while Sonata, who didn’t even have a pillow to rest her head on, layed on the floor at the back of the van. It wasn’t that comfortable to sleep in but they were tuckered out after going on another tour and it was certainly quieter than the homeless shelter they slept in after Star-Swirl banished them to this world. Out of the three sirens, Sonata was the one who was the deepest in her sleep, snoring loudly and getting drool all over the floor. But her slumber wasn’t going to last long.
“Sonata,” a voice whispered to her.
Sonata slowly opened her eyes, wondering where the whisper came from. She groggily stared up and saw what appeared to be a taco floating in the air. She rubbed her eyes to check to see what she was seeing was real. Unsurprisingly, it was. There was a floating taco right in front of her surrounded by a blue aura that illuminated the inside of the van. And it can talk to her.
“Mmm, tacoooooos,” Sonata said, entranced by the delicious-looking magical taco before her.
“Follow me,” the taco whispered, to which the eager and somewhat peckish Sonata complied.
The van doors magically opened as the taco floated away, with Sonata drowsily staggering after it. Just as Sonata was getting closer to the taco, it paused for a moment. Suddenly, it was sucked away by a portal that had spontaneously appeared right under it.
“Wait!” Sonata exclaimed, “Come back so I can eat you!”
In a complete violation of common sense, Sonata dove into the portal as if it was a swimming pool filled with the spiciest tacos ever made.
The winds of the sandstorms of Saddle Arabia bellowed as the mare once known as Tempest Shadow trudged through the unforgiving onslaught of sand. It was a good thing she traded her armour for the scarf that she wrapped around her head lest she get sand in her eyes, though she questioned whether her old cloak would have offered the same protection her armour once did. As she struggled through the sandstorm, she noticed something in the distance. It looked like a portal that just spat out a pony, one that was getting closer and closer. The wind hurled this mysterious pony at the Storm King’s former second-in-command, sweeping her off her hooves. Conveniently, the sandstorm stopped right at the moment both of them landed on their flanks.
“I can’t feel my fingers,” the other pony said drowsily before fainting.
Fizzlepop got up from her position and inspected the pony that just flew into her. She was an Earth pony with a light-blue coat. Her mane was a darker shade of blue with two even darker streaks in it and was done up in a ponytail. Knowing what it’s like to be helpless and having some experience with these sandstorms, Fizzlepop picked up the unconscious pony and plodded on. If they’re lucky, the nearest village should be just twenty miles away.
“Ow, my head,” the pony grumbled as she slowly woke up, “Where am I?”
“Somewhere in the middle of Saddle Arabia,” Fizzlepop bluntly replied.
“Saddle Arabia...” the pony said as she put a pondering hoof to her mouth, “Does that mean I’m back in Equestria? But if I’m back in Equestria, why am I not a siren?”
Fizzlepop gave the pony an odd look. Clearly, the pony must have hit her head really hard to believe she was a siren of legend.
“Hey, have you seen a flying taco around here somewhere?” the pony asked, “I nearly had it but then it got sucked into this weird portal.”
Mildly amused by the strange pony on her back and her talk of magical portals and flying tacos, Fizzlepop smirked a little. It reminded her of Grubber’s obsession with cake.
“No, but there was a portal that appeared out of nowhere,” Fizzlepop replied as she hid her amusement, “You flew out of it and right into me.”
“Oh, yeah!” the pony air-headedly said, “Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine,” Fizzlepop said reassuringly.
“So…” the pony asked in an attempt to continue the conversation, “What are you doing all the way out here in the middle of nowhere?”
“Just helping ponies out,” Fizzlepop replied.
“Ooookay, but why?” the strange pony asked.
Fizzlepop was slightly taken aback by the pony’s question, especially considering how nice and friendly the majority of ponies she encountered are. So to see a seemingly friendly pony question why she’s helping out other ponies was a bit jarring.
“Because it’s the right thing to do?” Fizzlepop replied, “And because I’ve done some bad stuff in the past and therefore want to make up for it.”
“Ooh!” the pony said excitedly, “What kind of bad stuff?”
Fizzlepop turned her head away, "I don't wanna talk about it."
“Does it have something to do with your horn?” the pony asked as she pointed at Fizzlepop’s broken horn.
“Again, I don’t wanna talk about it,” Fizzlepop replied in a more agitated tone.
“But it’s soooo boring out here and there isn’t anybody else for miles!” the pony exclaimed.
“Well, considering we’ve been talking for a while and yet don’t know each other’s names, we could always start with introducing ourselves,” Fizzlepop suggested, “My name is Fizzlepop. What’s yours?”
“Sonata Dusk,” the pony replied, “Nice to meet you.”
“Do you have any hobbies?” Fizzlepop asked, “Or did you forget when you came through that portal?”
“I like eating tacos,” Sonata replied, “Especially when it’s Taco Tuesday.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” Fizzlepop deadpanned.
“I used to like singing but, after me and my bandmates got hit with a rainbow laser, we can’t hold a note to save our lives,” Sonata said casually, “But we got this thing called auto-tune and, when we’re really not in the mood for singing, we just put a CD on loop and lip-sync to it so…”
Fizzlepop gave Sonata a puzzled look, “Did you say you got hit with a rainbow laser?”
“Yeah,” Sonata replied, “Why?”
“Considering we recently defeated a trio of villains by firing a big magical rainbow at them, it does seem a bit odd that you would lose the ability to sing the same way we defeated the three villains,” Fizzlepop replied.
“Yeah, I think those magic rainbows have a thing against people that come in threes,” Sonata said air-headedly.
Fizzlepop chuckled, amused by her ditzy companion’s deduction.
After a long trot, they had finally arrived at a village. Due to having a sore back from carrying Sonata, Fizzlepop chucked her off and onto the floor.
“Hey!” Sonata exclaimed as she got up, “A little warning would be nice!”
Suddenly, they heard a malicious cackle bellow through the air. Deciding to investigate, Fizzlepop trotted onward with Sonata following her. Unsurprisingly, as she got closer to the centre of the village, she saw two Saddle Arabian delegates tied to a rocket. And next to that rocket was the archnemesis of Daring Do herself, Ahuizotl, accompanied by two of the Storm King’s henchmen. Given how their former boss was smashed to pieces, Fizzlepop wouldn’t have been surprised that some of them would have taken up mercenary work.
“Now with Equestria’s other threats out the way, Daring Do’s reputation in ruins, and the element bearers not being aware of my plan to temporarily alter my own memories in case I fell under the spell of the Truth Talisman,” Ahuizotl monologued, “No-one will get in my way to bury all of Saddle Arabia in sand unless I get one million bits!”
“Then what’s the rocket for?” Fizzlepop dryly asked.
Ahuizotl turned to face Fizzlepop, “The rocket is there so I can have something to tie the delegates to and to hide my sandstorm machine underneath.”
“If you have to hide it, then that means there’s a red self-destruct button, isn’t there?” Fizzlepop asked.
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Ahuizotl snapped as he held up a remote, “The only red button here is the one in my hand. And when I press it, it will create another sandstorm! Ahahahahaha!!!”
Fizzlepop looked at Sonata, “Sonata, go find a red button somewhere near the rocket.”
“What’s in it for me?” Sonata asked.
“You get to be a hero,” Fizzlepop replied.
“And?” Sonata asked.
Fizzlepop sighed, “And I’ll help you find the magical taco you’ve been looking for.”
“Okay!” Sonata said excitedly as she galloped towards the rocket.
“You fool!” Ahuizotl bellowed, “You will never find the sandstorm machine! And even if you did, you will never know which button is the-”
“Found it,” Sonata said as she pressed a button.
Ahuizotl climbed over the rocket and saw, at the back of the rocket, Sonata near the controls of the sandstorm machine. When Sonata let go of the button she had pressed, he saw that it was red and had the words ‘self-destruct’ printed on it with big black letters. He climbed back to where he was and glared menacingly at his two minions, who immediately pointed at each other in an attempt to shift the blame.
And then the sandstorm machine beneath the rocket blew up.
“CURSE YOOOOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!” Ahuizotl exclaimed as he and his goons were sent flying into the air.
Miraculously, both Fizzlepop and Sonata were left unscathed by the explosion.
“Are you okay?” Fizzlepop asked.
“Kinda,” Sonata replied, “I have this weird ringing in my ears. So, can we find the magic flying taco now?”
“Soon,” Fizzlepop replied, “But first, we need to free the delegates.”
Fizzlepop pointed towards the rocket, which had landed near her and was upside-down, buried nose-deep in sand. Just like Fizzlepop and Sonata, the two delegates were alright.
“Oh,” Sonata said, “Right. You see, I’m just not used to the whole ‘helping people out’ thing.”
Fizzlepop smiled, “Don’t worry. You’ll learn.”
Somewhere in Chaosville, Discord was looking into the crystal ball he used when he pretended to be Grogar. Looking through the ball, he saw Fizzlepop and Sonata freeing the two Saddle Arabian delegates.
“So far, so good,” Discord said, “Hopefully, this will go better than the whole Grogar fiasco.”
Author's Note
Ah, the old Straight Man and (ironically named in this case) Wise Guy trope. Perfect for buddy comedies.
BTW, if you're wondering why Tempest is more comfortable using her real name in this fic, it's because it takes place after The Ending of the End so I assumed she had plenty of time getting used to helping people and put her past as the Storm King's second-in-command behind her.
