Cataclysmic Adventures

Oh hey, back again? Eh, you're not missing much. Still on my walk. Though what I find pretty cool is the meteor shower happening tonight. Sometimes in life, you gotta hold onto the little things, y'know? That includes the fact that somewhere, someplace, my sis is looking up at the same sky as I am. Don't give up, sis... Soon I'll come back to you with your soul. That bastard won't be able to hurt you anymore.

Hey, that meteor's coming pretty close... I swear to god if Yharon is attacking me on my only hour off... WHOA!

Damn, that was close. Doesn't seem like Yharon is around though... Might've been a lucky meteor. Eh, whatever.

So yeah. Heist is coming up in a little bit. All we gotta do is grab the evidence for the slave witch and get her to unleash some kind of flesh thing on Yharim. After that, I'm gonna have my sis's soul and I'm getting the hell out of there. If Crystal wants, she can come to, but I dunno if I'm more important than her 'father' or not. As someone once said, even Greed would make a better father than Yharim. Or Oblivion. Don't ask where I heard that from.

"That is absolute bullshit. The only reason I wasn't there for you two was because I got banished. Besides, Greed would treat you like an object. Worse yet, he might try to absorb your soul."

Lighten up, Dad, I'm teasing you. Can't tell what a joke is?

"I just want to be able to hug you after all of this shit. I love you, kiddo, you know that. I haven't felt right only being capable of watching while you two risk your lives."

...Love you too, Dad.

Hey, wait a second, I can hear something behind me...

"I'm not exactly in the bucking mood to deal with anyone right now, so BUCK OFF!"

Aaaaaaand nothing. Well, I feel stupid now. I'm getting paranoid... Then again, Yharim could literally bitchslap me whenever he wants. And I wouldn't be able to do shit. Still a bit unnerved by the thought of that worm pet he has...

"Pony, can you hear me?"

Yeah, I hear you Skelly-Boy. Hard not to when you're in my mind.

"You're a more entertaining host than Steven, I'll give you that."

Uh-huh, laugh it up, pal. Only reason I'm more entertaining is because we have a deal with one another. Makes us more open to talking.

"My powers have returned completely. However, I can sense a presence, Mena... it is rather strange..."

Well, first off good, second off yeah, I'm pretty sure IT'S ON MY BUCKING HOOF. Get off, you slimy bastard! Ugh, never seen something like this before... It's kinda gross. Get. the. Buck. Off!

"Hey, HEY! Stop shaking me around! I'm not gonna eat you! Just stay still will you?!"

OH DEAR SILENT PONYVILLE IT'S IN MY HEAD NOW. GET OFF ALREADY, GROSSGROSSGROSS!

"Do you need me? Or would you like me to give you two some privacy?"

What kind of fucking joke is that? I don't even know what the buck this thing is! I'm literally slamming it against everything but it's not getting off!

"Klyntar, I'm a Klyntar! I'm called Toxin! Now stop shaking me arou- whoa!"

Trying to squish it on this rock, but it's still not working. This thing has an EXEdamned iron grip!

"Oh god, I'm dizzy..."

WHAT THE HELL IS IT TRYING TO DO? It's wrapping itself all around me right now! Eugh, it's really, REALLY slimy.

"That's what your mom said."

NOT NOW DAD.

"Heh, sorry, couldn't resist. I find this situation very... enWRAPturing."

I swear to Silent Ponyville...

"What, are my jokes annoying you in this STICKY situation?"

Well, I guess I'm fucked then. This thing feels like it's attaching itself to my spine at the moment.

"Look, I'm not here to hurt you. If I had my way, that weird tentacle guy wouldn't have destroyed my world, and I wouldn't have been afraid that I might die if I didn't bond to you."

Tentacle guy, huh... Sounds like that Razeem bastard.

"Interesting... This creature is almost like a slime and a piece of the Crimson Biome, melded together."

"Not connected to your brain yet, no idea what that means. Just, give me a couple seconds, I'll prove that I'm not here to hurt you. And there. Um... Don't mind if it feels like I'm part of you, so to speak... That's normal."

Why do I feel like I could go another round with those spiders? And why does it feel like you just replaced my organs with your slime?

"Uh... Well, you feel like going another round with these spiders because I've empowered you to be a lot more durable or something, I never really found out. As for why your organs feel like slime, that's because I've wrapped around each of them in order to make you a superhuman, if that makes sense...?"

That doesn't at all, but I'll take your word on it.

"So, any idea where we are? I kind of dropped out of space on a fragment of my planet."

Welcome to Terraria, you unlucky bastard.

"I'm not gonna like it here, am I."

Nope.