Cataclysmic Adventures

by -Pinkamena_Pie-

Rating: mature
Tags: Violence, Death, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Profanity, Random, Adventure
Length: 1961

The story of Mena's struggle through Hardmode Terraria!

Still stuck in this new universe... Getting my ass beaten. I really hope this is over soon. Because if it isn't, I don't know what I'll do...

This story is a response to the story Terraria: Hardmode. I'm co-authoring with the awesome Pomp-Neigh on this, so give it a look-see, and don't forget to read it's Prequel!

Disclaimer: Sex tag is there for VERY lewd scenarios, but no actual clop. Cover photo belongs to Coin-Trip39, and I own nothing from MLP: FiM or Terraria.

Published 2021-05-09 23:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-05-12 22:49:50 UTC

Training... Yay...

Y'know, after dealing with a dragon kicking your ass repeatedly and sending you to some brutal places with no help, it's kinda nice just to go for a walk down a nice dirt road, with a breeze... Ugh, I sound really sappy, don't I.

Anyways, hi, hello, I'm finally back after days of not being around. It was kinda weird, actually, dealing with not having that portal thingie I talk to you guys through around. Let me put a scenario in mind for how it felt, being in limbo:

Imagine a white room, with no shading or anything. You can't see a way out, and it's just white with even lighting all the way around, as far as you can see. Now, imagine this room slowly getting dirtier and darker. You've got spiderwebs forming because somehow, spiders can live here, getting in your mane, biting you, biting each other, biting everything, and you just feel like screaming and murdering everything because it feels like you've been abandoned, and you want to cry, but at the same time you feel like tearing every patch of fur off your body until...

Finally, you get dropped back into the world again. Yeah, you imagine that? That's how it felt. I hate it.

I know, I know, it's not your fault. It's the curse of being what is essentially, a character for a story, nothing else... Not what you're here for. Maybe I'll write something about limbo later, who knows.

Anyways, yeah, walking. After the whole limbo thing, I got dropped right to Drago's training cave, and WOW did I pay for it... As it turns out, dragons actually hurt a buck-ton. And that was what the first few days of training were all about. He probably wanted to test my limits or something, see how much I could take. I'm ashamed to say not that much. I never really was super-strong for a GrimDark, after all.

So, he finally realized that after, like, a week. I think that day, he hit me with the bites as well, not just the punching. I swear he was enjoying it a little too much. I know a kink when I see one... I ain't oblivious. He likes me. Not just in the friendly-friend way. More like in the 'if-you-were-bigger-I-would-rut-you-so-hard' kind of way. I don't know why he likes me that way, I just know he does. Getting off-track again, sorry.

So, as a result of actually showing off the fact I can feel pain, he sent me through the damn wringer.

So, first thing he did was toss me into some kind of marble biome and forced me to bring back a pocket mirror. Yeah. As in, the stare at yourself like a noble type. So, I went in, not entirely sure how the buck I was supposed to do that, when to my surprise, some kind of snake-haired demon bitch attacked me. I very much learned how Discord felt when he got hit with my sister's Element...

I managed to get out of that predicament, before immediately being attacked by a bunch of skeletons that apparently even Skelly-Boy couldn't control. I nearly got turned into a bloody pony meat skewer by a pack of them all tossing javelins at me, and it was pure luck that I managed to cut that snake bitch's head off and grab the mirror. I had to run all the way through the cave system to get away from those motherbuckers, too. When I got back, Yharon apologized for sending me into such a dangerous place.

Too little, WAY too late, Drago... I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. He got the message. Next day, we went to the ocean to kill some sharks. He was there that time to make sure nothing went wrong.

Something went wrong anyways, would you believe it?

So, that issue started when I started hearing some kind of singing from the ocean depths. Now, I tried my best to look down there, but I couldn't see anything. Yharon looked worried for me and told me we could leave if I wanted. Now, I'm not the kind of mare to take crazy risks, but I only killed like, four sharks. I wanted to get a couple more shark fins. They looked pretty cool. Don't blame me, alright?

So, I kept going, ignoring the singing and eventually it went away. A good ten minutes more of sharks and I was ready to leave that place after nearly having my foreleg ripped off. As I was killing my last shark, though, the singing started up again, and I caught a glimpse of some kinda creature made of what looked like pure water. It had a big-ass halberd, but didn't do anything. It just stared at me and kept singing. Yharon was freaking out, telling me to get out of the water and all sorts of stuff. So I did.

When I got out onto the sand, it looked like it was glaring at me... I left pretty quickly after that. Later, Yharon told me that he was pretty sure what we had seen was the legendary water elemental, Anahita. Remind me to never go near the Ocean again... Apparently she was some kind of Goddess.

After that little trip, Yharon just reduced my training to fighting some of Yharim's soldiers in training battles. Eventually, he started teaching me about mana and stuff, but training was never really the same after we saw the elemental...

I managed to get back a bit of my GrimDark power, though. As long as I have some kind of knife in my inventory, I can summon versions of them using my inherent magic.

I used that today. When he told me to go get Spider Fangs. I had no idea how literal that would be for him to say. I had to fight these things called Black Recluses. They're real nasty things, similar to a few... uh... unsavory things back home. Point is, they bite you, you die. So it was real fun trying to get a whole cluster of like, fifteen of them off my back before they could bite me.

Anyways. Now you're pretty much caught up. Limbo, snake bitch, literal goddess, spiders. Way too many spiders...

So yeah, I'm hoping this damn portal stays for a while. Really don't want to be tossed aside again. I'll talk to you later.

What ARE you?!

Oh hey, back again? Eh, you're not missing much. Still on my walk. Though what I find pretty cool is the meteor shower happening tonight. Sometimes in life, you gotta hold onto the little things, y'know? That includes the fact that somewhere, someplace, my sis is looking up at the same sky as I am. Don't give up, sis... Soon I'll come back to you with your soul. That bastard won't be able to hurt you anymore.

Hey, that meteor's coming pretty close... I swear to god if Yharon is attacking me on my only hour off... WHOA!

Damn, that was close. Doesn't seem like Yharon is around though... Might've been a lucky meteor. Eh, whatever.

So yeah. Heist is coming up in a little bit. All we gotta do is grab the evidence for the slave witch and get her to unleash some kind of flesh thing on Yharim. After that, I'm gonna have my sis's soul and I'm getting the hell out of there. If Crystal wants, she can come to, but I dunno if I'm more important than her 'father' or not. As someone once said, even Greed would make a better father than Yharim. Or Oblivion. Don't ask where I heard that from.

"That is absolute bullshit. The only reason I wasn't there for you two was because I got banished. Besides, Greed would treat you like an object. Worse yet, he might try to absorb your soul."

Lighten up, Dad, I'm teasing you. Can't tell what a joke is?

"I just want to be able to hug you after all of this shit. I love you, kiddo, you know that. I haven't felt right only being capable of watching while you two risk your lives."

...Love you too, Dad.

Hey, wait a second, I can hear something behind me...

"I'm not exactly in the bucking mood to deal with anyone right now, so BUCK OFF!"

Aaaaaaand nothing. Well, I feel stupid now. I'm getting paranoid... Then again, Yharim could literally bitchslap me whenever he wants. And I wouldn't be able to do shit. Still a bit unnerved by the thought of that worm pet he has...

"Pony, can you hear me?"

Yeah, I hear you Skelly-Boy. Hard not to when you're in my mind.

"You're a more entertaining host than Steven, I'll give you that."

Uh-huh, laugh it up, pal. Only reason I'm more entertaining is because we have a deal with one another. Makes us more open to talking.

"My powers have returned completely. However, I can sense a presence, Mena... it is rather strange..."

Well, first off good, second off yeah, I'm pretty sure IT'S ON MY BUCKING HOOF. Get off, you slimy bastard! Ugh, never seen something like this before... It's kinda gross. Get. the. Buck. Off!

"Hey, HEY! Stop shaking me around! I'm not gonna eat you! Just stay still will you?!"

OH DEAR SILENT PONYVILLE IT'S IN MY HEAD NOW. GET OFF ALREADY, GROSSGROSSGROSS!

"Do you need me? Or would you like me to give you two some privacy?"

What kind of fucking joke is that? I don't even know what the buck this thing is! I'm literally slamming it against everything but it's not getting off!

"Klyntar, I'm a Klyntar! I'm called Toxin! Now stop shaking me arou- whoa!"

Trying to squish it on this rock, but it's still not working. This thing has an EXEdamned iron grip!

"Oh god, I'm dizzy..."

WHAT THE HELL IS IT TRYING TO DO? It's wrapping itself all around me right now! Eugh, it's really, REALLY slimy.

"That's what your mom said."

NOT NOW DAD.

"Heh, sorry, couldn't resist. I find this situation very... enWRAPturing."

I swear to Silent Ponyville...

"What, are my jokes annoying you in this STICKY situation?"

Well, I guess I'm fucked then. This thing feels like it's attaching itself to my spine at the moment.

"Look, I'm not here to hurt you. If I had my way, that weird tentacle guy wouldn't have destroyed my world, and I wouldn't have been afraid that I might die if I didn't bond to you."

Tentacle guy, huh... Sounds like that Razeem bastard.

"Interesting... This creature is almost like a slime and a piece of the Crimson Biome, melded together."

"Not connected to your brain yet, no idea what that means. Just, give me a couple seconds, I'll prove that I'm not here to hurt you. And there. Um... Don't mind if it feels like I'm part of you, so to speak... That's normal."

Why do I feel like I could go another round with those spiders? And why does it feel like you just replaced my organs with your slime?

"Uh... Well, you feel like going another round with these spiders because I've empowered you to be a lot more durable or something, I never really found out. As for why your organs feel like slime, that's because I've wrapped around each of them in order to make you a superhuman, if that makes sense...?"

That doesn't at all, but I'll take your word on it.

"So, any idea where we are? I kind of dropped out of space on a fragment of my planet."

Welcome to Terraria, you unlucky bastard.

"I'm not gonna like it here, am I."

Nope.