Chapters You Have Got To Be Kidding Me
"What the?!" I yell. Not in anger, but surprise.
Why am I surprised? My mom seriously just said we're gonna move to Ponyville. Canterlot is perfectly fine! What the hell? This is crazy. Mom never listens. She's too busy having sex with that stupid unicorn. Fuck that guy, he tried to touch me but she doesn't listen. I swear to Celestia, one day i'm gonna punt that guy's face in and he's not gonna like it. She's never home, she would be better off moving by herself if she loves Ponyville that much.
"Mom, I have friends here! Moonshine Pie! Orange mane, red eyes, yellow coat? Ring any bells?" I spat, more confused than angry, but still. I can't believe her! The audacity, how could she?
"Sweetie, we have to move. We can't pay for this house anymore and we have to leave." Mom says, giving me that stupid angry glare she always gives me when shes annoyed.
I have to resist the urge to say "Because your always spending the money on Vodka and Condoms", but I have to hold it back or she'd smack me. That cunt! She told my doctor I was 'messed in the head' too. She loooooves spreading lies, that-
Uh oh. She's giving me that glare again. She knows what i'm thinking about. Can she read minds too? Y'know what, of course she can. She loves invading privacy so much she taught herself to read minds.
"Sweetie," -She pauses, giving me an annoyed smile. Creepy if you ask me.- "If we don't move, we're gonna get in trouble because I can't pay the rent. There also aren't any schools in this area that would be willing to take you after you beat up Pear Shake. Now come and eat your breakfast."
Ew! Okay, one, she was smiling with teeth but she didn't open her mouth. At all. She grinds her teeth so much, they're definitely going to fall out one day. I mean, it's inevitable right? And it's kind of what she deserves. If it wasn't, then I must be a Griffin. Fun fact : I'm not a Griffin. I'm a Pegasus filly. But, i'm pretty sure that means she deserves it. That's what Moonshine told me.
And two, Pear Shake deserved it. She was trying to bully Moonshine, but obviously, she hasn't heard the legend of the "horn cracker". In short, I broke her horn off. She's no longer able to do magic, and I think she deserved it.
I mean, you can't think you won't get karma for being an ass, right?
I pause my thoughts and sit down at the table, the wood on the cheap chair cutting the skin on my flank. I decide to take a look at what's for breakfast. She made my least-favorite, Hay-waffles. She knows just how to spite me, huh?
She knows I hate those, she didn't even give me a drink. But I guess I have to eat it or she gets mad.
I pick up the rusty and bent fork and pick at my Hay-waffles, attempting to hold back a look of disgust. I take a minute to look and obverse what she looks like. She has so much makeup on, she might as well be red instead of purple. The only purple I see on her is in a dark space that separates her hooves from her upper-arms. I look at her face.
Her face... Uhm... She has bright red lipstick on with pink cheeks. Blue eyeshadow is directly above her chunky, weird mascara. Her mascara is put on wrong, but I won't correct her. Not like I can anyways.
She has a black dress on with long sleeves and black high heels. The dress is small and it stops only directly below her plastic ass. If she was walking normally, her bending down would flash her panties. I mean, if she even wears any. I don't expect that from her, she likes to show off. Show off a lot.
Her wrists and neck are covered in gold jewelry, and the tips of her hooves are painted a bright red. Her wavy, curly black hair is styled up into a bun with a long bang hanging off the side of her face, a white streak going through it.
"If you don't want it, go ahead and throw it out." Mom says in a condescending voice.
I get up and fall face first on the floor, looking at her as she tries to hold back a probably snarky laugh and a comment about my slip-up, per usual with anything I do wrong or mess up on. I glare at her weird, makeup covered face and head to the trash bin in the kitchen. The only comfort I have right now is the comforting sound of my hooves trotting against the wooden floor, and that wasn't very comforting, considering everything and anything possible was poking and cutting at my frog. That hurts, y'know?
I throw my dishes in the sink and head to the bathroom where I pull out my stepping stool and look at myself in the mirror.
My mane is wavy, but not curly. It was a bit short in terms of length, but not too short. Right up to my shoulder blades, which is the perfect length, just how it should be. My coat is light purple, and my eyes are a dulled down blue, similar to grey. I attempt to grab my comb but I've lost almost all the grip in my hooves because of my hooves being constantly stabbed by the wooden floors.
I run my hooves through my mane, attempting to fix it up. I pull at my lower eyelids, groaning as to let out my exhaustion and annoyance. I wished I could scream, but then again, we have neighbors. Me and my- I. I don't need another reason to be complained about and have to move. I wish this was all a dream. I snapped some bully's horn off, so what? It's certainly not like I killed her. I have a reason to complain about this. Mom is always telling lies and making excuses. I still hate you for that time you promised we'd go to the park together but we didn't because you felt sick. I could hear you having sex in the bedroom, mom.
I can feel my eyes well up and begin to burn, so I start to let go of my eyelids. I thought that was just because of dry eye or whatever grown-ups call it, but it turns out it was because i'm sad i'll have to leave Moonshine, I think.
These floors may be dirty and unstable, but these are the only floors i've ever known.
I quickly move my hoof up to my face and wipe away the tears. The horn-breaker doesn't cry. Tough mares don't cry, and i'm a tough mare.
I leave the bathroom yet the burning in my eyes doesn't stop. I go up to my mom who is reading a book about some dumb grown-up stuff and I nudge her forearm. I look up at her and try to catch her attention, but of course, she doesn't notice. This is the usual, and I hate it. I wish my mom would be like Moonshine's mom. Moonshine's mom always buys her toys and says 'I love you' and always gets her presents and reads her bedtime stories. I wish I was Moonshine's sister. Then I wouldn't have to deal with this... mare. I know I was a mistake too. She can't even remember my father.
"Mom? I have a question." I spoke, pulling her forearm. She looks at my annoyed and raises a single eyebrow, which I assume is saying 'You may ask me, filly.' I take this opportunity and speak before she loses attention quickly per usual.
"When are we moving?" I ask, praying I have enough time to formulate a plan to stop her.
"Today is Saturday, so we're moving tomorrow. And on Monday, you'll start at your new school." She mutters, her eyes slowly floating back to whatever boring book she was reading. Probably some boring grown-up stuff like sex. Sex is probably stupid. But, back to the topic. I slowly trot back to my room.
As soon as I enter, I flop on the bed and ball my eyes out. Tomorrow? She always does things without telling me, and when she does, she always tells me too late!
Tomorrow is the last day i'll ever see this house. I take my bunny plushie in my arms and hold, crying softly. I know I said tough girls like the horn-breaker don't cry, but this is a exception for every tough girl, including the horn-breaker. This is the worst. I don't know why I can't be like the other foals. This sucks. Living sucks. My mom sucks and my dad probably sucks too, even if I don't know him. Everything sucks. School sucks. Ponyville sucks. I hate everything.
I slowly fall asleep, drifting off into the only place where i'm not a violence-addicted maniac with a sex addicted mom who neglects me and a dad who i'm not even sure actually even exists.
The Worst Day Of My Boring Life
I sigh as I pick up my Blue backpack and attempt to put it on my back without crushing my wings, but I fail. Unfortunately, but expectedly. I'm stuck holding it on my shoulder blade, balancing it as best as I can so it doesn't fall off. My mom calls me over with a whistle and I follow the noise, internally groaning as I am about the begin the worst day of my boring life. She's drinking wine on the kitchen table, hunched over. She waves her hoof and makes a small grunt I can only assume means 'Loser, go walk to school yourself because i'm a bad mom who doesn't care about you'. I oblige and she opens the door for me since i'm in 4th grade and far too small to reach it.
I leave the house and look around the street. I see ponies of all different colors, shapes and sizes. I never really got out much as a kid because of my mom neglecting me, and this was a big surprise.
"Woah..." I whisper, the word slipping out of my mouth accidentally. I was so confused. Everypony here looks so... nice...?
I see a stand that's selling apples and I walk up to it. There was a big line, but from what I could see there was an orange pony with long, blonde hair tied at the bottom selling apples. The pony has a country accent, and that was pretty silly to me, considering i've never seen a country pony before.
As I walk around, I see so many trees, flowers and ponies around me. I feel something in my chest getting bigger, almost overwhelming.
This was so different. Canterlot was full of snobby know-it-alls from my experience of the little times i've ever went out to do something besides going to school or... Moonshine's house. Man, I miss her. And I miss Canterlot. I get a growing feeling i might like it here, but it's overshadowed by guilt. Guilt for breaking off Pear's horn, but not because I feel bad for breaking her horn. In fact, she was a brat. She deserved it. I feel guilty because i'm my own reason for having to move.
I caused this by snapping Pear's horn off, but it was also slightly my mom's fault for wasting the money.
As my train of thought races, i'm snapped out of it by seeing a sign in-front of me reading "Angel Fillies Elementary School".
I enter. I take a look at the paper my mom gave me yesterday and look for class 402. As I see it, I walk in and everyone in the class look at me in surprise. I take a deep breath and attempt to manage my uprising anxiety. I've never been infront of so many ponies.
I look up at the teacher. She has a magenta coat with a pink mane. In the middle of her mane she has a lighter shade of pink. Her mane looks fluffy and soft, and she looks nice. I want to touch her mane.
"Oh, hello! Class, this is our newest student! Do you want to introduce yourself?" She looks at me and smiles sweetly, and I feel something i've never felt with my mom, which was quite frankly surprising, considering I thought I would never feel something like that. I trot over to the front of the classroom, and take a deep breath, before beginning.
I get nervous and almost tense up before I can say it, but I manage.
"H-Hello. I am Loonie Stars and I also go by the horn-breaker. Questions?" At the beginning I sounded like a complete dunce, but eventually I felt like I sounded more confident with my words.
A pink earth pony raises her hand, and I nod and let her ask away. I pray she isn't a bully, but unfortunately, not all wishes come true.
"What's a horn-breaker? Is it another word for a pony without a cutie mark?" She spat. A grey pony with purple eyes giggles, and I assume they ruled the class.
"I'm the horn-breaker for a reason, but if theres anypony who doesn't understand that they are absolutely worthless and tries to act like they own everything and everypony, i'll be glad to become the leg-breaker." I snap back. This is exactly what I wanted to say to Pear Shake, that cunt.
"And you , four-eyes. If you want to lose all your eyes, then continue being ru-" I was stopped by the teacher telling me off.
"Loonie Stars! I do not tolerate bullies in my classroom, but it's your first day so i'll let you off with a warning. Sit down next to Sweetie Belle."
The class goes quiet, and I can hear a gasp coming from the pink pony.
I shrug and look for the empty seat. I see a white unicorn with an empty seat next to her assume that's Sweetie Belle.
After a while, I hear whispering next to me and I look over, giving my best 'death glare'. I learned it from my mom, after-all. Mom was always giving me the cold shoulder when she didn't want to have to take care of me and be responsible for not using a condom one night, and that's stupid. But I guess i'm obligated to say I learned it from her, and it's true.
The whispering stops and I fall asleep. A few hours later, I wake up and hear a bell ring.
"Loonie, can you stay for recess?" I hear the teacher say. I rub my eyes with my hooves and walk towards her desk, pulling my seat along. I sit down, and she starts talking. I zone out because it was boring. Veeeery boring. Suddenly I hear someone calling my name. I snap out of it and- it's my teacher.
"Loonie? Did you hear what I just said?" The teacher asks, waving her hoof in front of my face in an attempt to catch my attention.
I shake my head and she facehoofs.
"I'm Cheerilee, your new teacher. Your mother told me you had anxiety and an unusual aggressiveness. I know what happened at your other school. It might be hard in a new school but please, be nice? Some fillies don't know what they're doing and don't understand the consequences." She says. Every time i'm about to zone out, she stops and catches my attention again.
I groan internally and try to resist saying what i'm about to say, but, unfortunately, some wishes don't come true, do they?
"Bullshit." I mutter quietly, just enough so Cheerilee can't hear.
"Hm? I'm sorry sweetie, can you repeat that?" Cheerilee asked, nearly stammering.
"I'm sorry Ms. Cheerile but..."-I pause for a moment and Cheerilee tilts her head to the said in a questioning manner.-"But that's complete bullshit." I complained, earning a gasp from Cheerilee.-"These fillies know exactly what they do, and that makes me sick. They pick on other fillies because they want power, and school never does anything. It's just what I said, bullshit."
The bell rings and I return my chair to my seat and almost sit down, but Cheerile just has to interrupt me.
I doze off as soon as the lesson begins, and i'm soon awoken by the bell ringing loudly in my ears. I pick up my backpack and leave, listening to nothing but the sound of my hooves clicking against the smooth wooden floors. It was different from the creaky wooden floorboards I had in my old school.
As I left, I started comparing things in my head.
As I think about it more, the more my frog hurts. I rush home, but I almost pass by something I wanted to see. The apple stand. The stand is being packed up by the same pony and there are no more ponies in the area. I run over to her.
"Hey, miss, what's your name? I'm new in town. My names Loonie Stars." I queried, praying to Celestia I don't sound pushy to the mysterious pony.
"Ah'm Apple Jack. Nice to meet ya, Loonie Stars. Ah'm sure ya will enjoy it here down in Ponyville." She said, her country accent being much more noticeable now that i'm up close and personal.
I give her a quick smile before walking away and heading in the direction of my house. I'm feeling good but my stomach growls. I pass by a fallen apple on the ground and bend down to inspect it. It seems good so I pick it up and eat it. It's crispy and juicy and sweet, and honestly much better than the apples back in Canterlot.
When I finally reach home, i'm done with the apple and throw the core in the nearest public trash can. I enter my house and quickly head to my room, being careful not to wake up my mom since my mom gets really angry when I wake up her up late if it's not a serious emergency.
I set my backpack down and hop on my bed. Today felt nice. I think i'm gonna like it here.
Not bothering to take a shower and brush my hair, I doze off immediately, happy I can finally rest peacefully on a soft bed.
Outsmarting Your Spite With More Spite
Loonie awoke to her mom shaking her awake. She groaned. ‘The first thing I see in the day is a fat, ugly, paint covered mare.’ Loonie stirred for a bit, avoiding her mom’s gaze. Until, she felt a pair of fat, ugly, paint covered eyes staring at her, probably burning holes into her back.
She sat up rubbed her eyes with her hooves. Although annoyed, she held back a snarky comnent because she knew exactly where that would get her.
“Looonie, you have school today.” The mare croaked.
Loonie almost talked back, but quickly stopped herself. Mares are scary. Don’t blame her.
She stayed silent, asking herself why her mom was telling her. Was it some special occasion?
"You'll be late if you don't go now." Mom said, grinding her teeth through a giant, fake, and ugly smile.
She internally facehooved, remembering that since she moved, her mom wanted to make a good impression. It happened last time too. When she was a really young filly, she had vague memories of living in Phillydelphia.
"Haha... Okayyyyy." Loonie said, quickly getting up off the bed to avoid the allmighty wrath of the Lord Of All Fat Mares.
"Don't be late."
She looked back and nodded.
Loonie went to the bathroom and closed the door, listening for hoofsteps so she could make sure her mom was gone.
Once she heard her door close, she turned around and trotted over to the mirror.
Loonie began looking at herself in the mirror. She attempted to grab her comb, but. Oh yeah. Nevermind. She ran her hooves through her mane as much as she could as an alternative. Although she knew she might be an asshole, she certainly wanted to look presentable. 'A well dressed asshole is a deceptive hot bitch. A badly dressed asshole is a ugly, fat bitch.' That's what her mother would always say.
She tried to grab her toothbrush, but- Yup.
She nudged the toothpaste towards her mouth instead and poured. And poured, and poured, and poured. After lots of pouring, she put water in her mouth by using the faucet, she began grinding her teeth together and gargling it. A filly labeled helpless is no longer helpless if they can find alternatives. Nobody ever said that, but she liked to think some famous, inspirational pony said that once. Probably. Maybe.
Loonie was snapped out of her thoughts about quotes her mom and probably famous people have said by the burning and itching in the skin of her inner cheeks.
She put her head towards the faucet and turned it on, filling her mouth with water.
She gargled for a few seconds, grinding her teeth again but resisting the urge to grimace at the feeling.
She spat the water into the sink, turning on the faucet once again to make sure it all went down the drain.
Loonie smiled at herself in the mirror, before smelling herself. Ew.
She nudged some perfume towards the edge of the desk and pressed on the top with her hoof, praying to whatever the hell could be up there besides the princesses Celestia and Luna it wouldn't fall.
She inhaled some of the sweet scent, trying to identify what it could be.
Loonie looked at herself again, smiling.
She trotted out of the bathroom and over to her room window, pushing out a tiny chair to stand on.
Loonie got on the chair and leaned over, separating the curtains.
It was dawn. Dawn.
Her mom had woken her up at dawn to annoy her.
Loonie smiled, happily. Maybe evily.
"Jokes on you mom! I love dawn!" She whisper-yelled, glad to spite her mom's spiting.
She got off the chair after closing the curtains on the windows, pushing her backpack onto her back and quickly headed out of her bedroom.
She almost started running before she saw her mom, fast asleep on the couch. Of course.
She went back into her room and checked to make sure she had everything.
"Notebooks? Check. Pencils? Check. Books on how to get away with murder? Check. Aaand, lastly... Snacks!" -She paused, licking her lips at the sight of the Human Crackers her mom bought sometimes if she wasn't annoying the entire week.- "Glad I put some in a ziplock, huh? I'm probably not getting any more after this week. Maybe. And check."
She smiled, before grabbing the zipper with her mouth and pulling it, closing the bag.
Loonie slowly opened the door, tip-hoofing over to the front door and unlocking it veeeery slowly, before opening it veeeery slowly and trotting out. She closed it behind her veeeery slowly, listening to make sure she didn't hear the click of the auto lock.
She sighed and continued on her way, checking out the sights.
She went to what she thought was a bakery and peered inside the window. Nobody there.
"Guess it's closed. I'll just come back later, if I ever have any bits later."
She looked around for a while before seeing what she though was a pink blur or some ugly, weird hallucination. How could a pony even go that fast? That's obviously impossible.
She blinked and turned around, before opening her eyes and seeing two, giant blue eyes in front of hers.
Oh no. Is this the pony people talked about? Pinkie, was it? Oh my Celestia. No. She was everything she didn't like in a pony. Hyperactivity, chatter mouth, etc, etc. For Celestia's sake, why won't life stop being so cruel! Why life, why?
She heard talking but she couldn't even comprehend what 'it' was saying.
She took a deep breath, facing the bouncing, bright pink, ball.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She yelled, nearly shaking the ground. That's what she thought. She's a filly, everything is much bigger to her.
The bright pink ball of annoyance stopped. Loonie took this time to run off into her house as fast as she could and quickly lock the door and all the windows.
Her mom stirred before sitting up, raising an eyebrow.
Loonie knew she was expecting a good explanation.
She stuttered for a bit and tried to point her hooves, but just went to her room with her head down. What a blessing, her mom was too tired to scold her.
"Kill me." she groaned before climbing under her bed and falling asleep. She was skipping school today, whether her mom liked it or not.
'I'll just tell them I was sick, no biggie. Mom wouldn't care anyways, I think.' she said to herself in her head before drifting off into a state of unconsciousness, or whatever those scientific fancy words grown up ponies used.
