Lamarr

by robberrito

Rating: everyone
Tags: Science Fiction, Comedy, Half Life, Fluttershy, Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, Discord, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4147

A certain mischievous headcrab is transported into Equestria following the events of Half-Life 2: Episode 2.

After the rocket was launched, everyone celebrated. The Combine could no longer send reinforcements to earth, and the remaining troops were now isolated. However, Lamarr, a headcrab under Kleiner's care, jumps into the rocket before launch and goes along with it to space. Fortunately for Lamarr, an unknown phenomenon occurs, launching the headcrab into dimensions far away.

Published 2021-05-12 20:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2021-05-14 14:47:16 UTC

Terror of the Everfree

The Everfree is a truly monstrous place. The trees were crooked and jagged like spikes. The creatures that roamed ranged from poisonous plants to massive hydras. The timberwolf packs that roamed the Everfree were notorious for being vicious. They hunted in groups and ripped apart their prey with their sharp, wooden teeth. However, the most dangerous creature in the Everfree is the manticore. They are large cats mixed with a scorpion, and they also have large, bat-like wings. Their tails dripped venom and were extremely sharp, being able to penetrate any armor. Their teeth were sharper than that of a sabertooth, puncturing skin like it was a syringe. Their wings ended with sharp claws that would tear anything unlucky enough to be caught in its path while it was gliding.

One of these manticores found itself staring at a creature much smaller than itself. It could easily swallow the creature whole right then, but it did not. This is because the manticore was confused at the sight of the creature. It was unlike any creature it had seen before. It looked much like cooked turkey, and yet, it was different. It had two long and slender front legs, with two short stubs as its back legs. The manticore could not see it, but it had three eyes on the underside of its "face", allowing it to see almost anything in front of it, however, it could be ambushed from behind.

The manticore did not know anything of the creature or where it came from, causing it to looked confusedly at the alien creature in front of it. Cautiously, it picked it up with one of its paws. The creature started to screech and thrash violently, attempting to get out of the manticore's grip. The manticore took a sniff at the creature, wanting to see if it was edible. The manticore gagged as it smelled, leading to it throwing the creature away into the woods.

Lamarr hit a tree, slightly injuring the headcrab as it fell to the forest floor. Lamarr was confused and frightened at its surroundings, not familiar with the sights around it. Not to mention its caretaker was nowhere to be found.

Kleiner... where is Kleiner?

Lamarr was not equipped to deal with the wild, as its beak was completely removed, leading to it losing most of its parasitic instincts. This was not going to help it in the wild, and it aimed to find someplace with human life. If it could, perhaps they would take it in and help it survive. It could clearly see most of the things in the forest were bigger than itself, and it was all too eager to escape this headcrab hell of a forest.

The headcrab waddled through the woods, taking care not to make too much noise that would alert anything nearby. If it was caught it would undoubtedly be eaten right then and there.

Suddenly, it heard noises in the distance. It recognized the sound as humans talking. Eagerly, it jumped up a tree, wanting to see where the humans were. It hopped from branch to branch, getting higher to the top of the Everfree forest as it did so. Once it was high enough to see, it looked toward the voices. What it saw confused it. There were three horse-like creatures below it. One was yellow with a red mane and a large red bow to accompany it, one was white with a purple pink mane, and one was orange with a purple mane. Together, these creatures walked in the woods of the Everfree, staring nervously at the trees of the Everfree while they walked. What surprised Lamarr is that they talked.

The yellow one spoke up, "Girls, are ya sure we should be doin' this? I mean, I know it's ta get our cutie marks, but the Everfree is mighty dangerous."

The orange one turned to the yellow one, "Oh c'mon! If we don't take risks to get our cutie marks then we'll never get 'em!" It tried to appear confident to the others, but it retained a face of nervousness even as it spoke. Nevertheless, they advanced further into the Everfree, intent on getting their cutie marks so they would no longer be "blank flanks", as they were so often called.

Lamarr watched in curiosity as they walked under the branches of the tree he was perched on. As it looked at their heads, it started to hunger. It looked like It could fit right on top of their heads...

Silently, it crawled down the tree, making sure not to make noise. As it got near the bottom, it saw them pass by the trunk of the tree. Now was the opportunity. As the white one walked by the tree, it jumped.

Sweetie Belle nervously walked behind the two ponies ahead of her. She had doubts about how they would get their cutie marks by going into the Everfree forest. As they went farther and farther into the Everfree, she started to regret her decision to follow the rest of the Crusaders into the Everfree forest. The trees seemed to be getting more hostile as they got farther, and she got a nagging feeling they were being watched.

Suddenly, a small figure leaped from above, its mouth pointed right toward the top of her head. It traveled down at an incredible speed, leaving almost no time to react for Sweetie Belle. Suddenly, it landed on her head, right above her horn. It gripped around the sides of her horn, getting into position for it to begin the parasitic process.

Unfortunately for Lamarr, this process could not begin, as it was debeaked and incapable of penetrating the skull or even hurting the creature for the matter. This lead to it awkwardly sitting on Sweetie Belle's head as her eyes widened and she looked up.

As she saw and felt the strange creature on her head, she screamed. She shook her head violently, attempting to shake the creature off her head. Lamarr remained latched on, for fear of getting pelted into the many trees in the forest.

As Sweetie Belle's scream rang out through the forest, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo jumped up in fright at the sudden loud noise. Realizing it was Sweetie Belle's scream, they turned around to see what happened when suddenly they saw the creature on her head.

Apple Bloom blinked before tilting her head to the side, "What in tarnation...?"

Sweetie Belle's screams suddenly became actual words, "GET IT OFF, GET IF OFF, GET IT OFF!"

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo rushed over to Sweetie Belle. As they got closer, they saw the creature in closer detail, which just raised more questions than answers. It looked as if it was some sort of crab thing, but it had smooth skin and they didn't see a head anywhere. They gripped the creature with the hooves, attempting to peel it off. One by one, Lamarr's legs came off Sweetie Belle, and before long they managed to peel the creature off her head. It was thrown to the ground behind Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Quickly, it got back up and growled at the Crusaders.

Scootaloo decided that their cutie marks could wait another day, "I change my mind! Let's get out of here!"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders turned and ran away from Lamarr. They never relented in their sprint toward Ponyville, fearing that another of those creatures would make their heads a meal.

Lamarr was left where it stood, staring after the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Lamarr was now exposed to the forest around it, and as soon as it realized this it jumped back into the bushes. However, it still stared in the direction the Crusaders took off. It considered going the opposite way, however, it realized that if it followed them, then it might reach more of the ponies. More ponies means more food, and that was what Lamarr needed now. With no other way to go, Lamarr followed the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

The Crusaders ran into a clearing, finally free of the Everfree's torment. They quickly fell on the ground, their legs feeling like jello, and taking deep breaths to compensate for how much they ran.

Apple Bloom, being more used to running this much, spoke up first, "What in tarnation was that thing? Ah've never seen anything like that! It was the cooked turkey those griffins eat, but... alive! It had weird spider legs too! Eugh..."

Sweetie Belle looked like she was about to cry, "I-I'm going home! That was scary! I-it scratched me!"

Scootaloo was not as scared, but had the same thoughts, "Me too! I'm not having anything try to eat my head today! No thank you!"

Just as the fillies were about to leave, they heard familiar voices in the distance.

"APPLE BLOOM!"

All of the Crusader's expressions ears fell flat as they heard Applejack. Soon enough, they saw her, speeding toward the Crusaders with anger on her face. Along with her were Rarity and Rainbow Dash, all filled with anger as they looked at the Crusaders.

Applejack slowed to a walk as she trudged toward Apple Bloom. "What did Ah tell y'all about goin' in the Everfree? That place is full of things tryna kill ya!" she grunted as she pulled on Apple Bloom's bow.

Scootaloo spoke up in place of Apple Bloom, "We were just trying to get our cutie marks! What if our destiny-".

She was cut off by Rainbow Dash, "-is in the Everfree? What are you, crazy? The Everfree isn't like anywhere else. I doubt you even can get a cutie mark there."

Suddenly, everyone stopped as Rarity gasped in horror. She was looking at Sweetie Belle to see if she had any injuries, and unfortunately, she did. On each side of her face were large tears in her skin that shed blood and caused the surrounding fur to become dark red. Rarity was now staring at the injuries with shock and worry over her face at Sweetie Belle's injury.

"Sweetie Belle! What in Celestia's name happened to you?" she said in a high-pitched squealy voice. Scootaloo offered to answer for her, "She got attacked! Some weird crab thing jumped on her head and wouldn't let go! We had to tear it off of her!"

Rarity grunted and she stared at Sweetie Belle with anger, "Sweetie Belle! You know better than to go into the Everfree! Things like this will happen to you! Perhaps even far worse! We're going home. I will provide you with bandages so you will not bleed, but you are grounded, understood?"

Sweetie Belle mumbled a "yes" to Rarity while they began to walk toward Ponyville. Rainbow Dash turned to Scootaloo and started to chastise her as well, "You’re going home too, squirt. By the way, I'm totally telling your parents about this."

Scootaloo looked to Rainbow Dash in fear, "Wait no, please! You can't do this! They'll kill me!" she yelled.

Rainbow Dash merely crossed her arms and flew toward Scootaloo, "Welp, that's too bad. Shouldn't have gone in the Everfree then," she said in apathy.

Scootaloo groaned as Rainbow Dash picked her up and began to fly toward Ponyville.

Applejack turned to Apple Bloom, who looked toward her sister in a mix of sadness and fear. She narrowed her eyes and stated to her coldly, "’Cause of yer foolishness, somepony got hurt. What do ya have ta say fer yerself?"

Apple Bloom just looked at the ground in shame as she thought of Sweetie Belle having the crab-thing on her head. She really regretted agreeing to go in that forest.

She started tearing up, and said through her tears, "A-Ah'm sorry A-A-Applejack, Ah didn't want her ta get hurt or nothin'...".

Applejack sighed, "At least yer sorry." She turned to look at Apple Bloom, "Yer still getting punished though. Yer grounded and on top of that Ah've got some work you can do in the mornin'."

Apple Bloom sighed, "Yes ma'am..."

As they walked toward Sweet Apple Acres, a tiny form walked out of the Everfree and observed the ponies as they had their backs turned. As soon as they were out of the sight, the headcrab followed in their footsteps. Lamarr did not want to be seen, but it also was not going to lose sight of where they were going. As it came closer to civilization, it saw a town in the distance.

Terror of Ponyville

As Lamarr waddled toward the town ahead of it, it noted the differences of these buildings from the normal human buildings it was so used to. For one, these buildings were very colorful, while human buildings were generally gray and dull. It also noticed that much of the plant life in the area still remained, while human urban areas often left no trace of former plant life. Lamarr concluded these horse things were much more accustomed to the wild than their human counterparts, which it was very grateful for. As it got closer to the town, it went toward the nearest building. It looked over the building for anything it could jump on. It saw a trashcan near the building and jumped on top of it. Making sure it didn't knock over the trashcan, Lamarr looked over to the window and saw that the top of the window frame could fit itself. It jumped onto it and walked over to the other side of the window, seeing if it could jump higher. It saw a sign sticking out of the house, however, it was a rather large jump to make for a headcrab. Lamarr decided to attempt the jump, and it backed up a bit so it had a running start. Once it thought it had enough distance, it ran forward and then leaped for the sign. Despite Lamarr's efforts, it was barely able to get its front legs to reach the sign. Lamarr's legs strained as it held on to the sign. Seeing as it had a chance to get on the sign, it began to swing side to side. Once it had swung so it could reach the top of the sign, it turned its body so that it landed on the sign, with its front legs left dangling off. Lamarr then took this opportunity to leap onto the roof of the building and ascend toward the top.

Once it had reached the top, Lamarr looked down at Ponyville from its perch on the roof. What it saw were a lot of ponies. They crowded around the shops that merchants had set up and, when not doing that, they walked through the marketplace to travel to their homes, jobs, meetups, and many other things. Ponyville was alive with the busyness of business.

Seeing this amount of ponies made the headcrab nervous. They would quickly overwhelm Lamarr if it attempted anything that would threaten them, and Lamarr wasn't exactly big. Plus, it was still debeaked, so it couldn't really do anything anyway.

Still hungry, Lamarr looked around some more when it found its savior. An orange mare in a stetson was at a stand, selling many apples as well as other apple-related products. Lamarr was focused on the apples. They were small enough for a headcrab to eat and there were enough of them so that the headcrab would no longer be famished. Now that it had a goal, it set out to relieve itself of its hunger. Lamarr walked down the roof, watching carefully so to make sure it was not seen. As it got to the edge, it looked down. A wagon was right below it, with many ponies clustered around it and making their purchases at the mobile shop. It waited for them to avert their attention, and as soon as they turned away, it leaped onto the top of the shop. Quickly, it jumped down onto the ground and went under the shop, making sure to stay away from the hooves around it. Suddenly, the wagon began to move as the shopkeeper picked up the wagon by its handles and began to move it. The headcrab scrambled to follow the cart but found that its safety was overtaken and fast. Looking around, it saw another shop to its right and ran for it. As it was exposed to the light of the sun, it began to take in the sight of many ponies around itself. Luckily, none were looking at the headcrab, and it escaped to the other shop without incident. Lamarr soon realized it had lost sight of its prize and was relieved when it saw the orange mare right where she was earlier. This time, she was much closer, and Lamarr had a good shot at getting to the apples. Looking around the area, it saw many ponies were not looking at the path Lamarr planned to take. Lamarr knew this could its only opportunity to get to the apples, and it took it. Quickly, it scurried after the cart. Its legs carried it as fast as it could, but it could only go so fast. In the corner of Lamarr's eyes, it saw a pony began to turn toward itself. Seeing this, it leaped for the cart and ended up flipping itself over as it fell into the cart full of apples.

Today was a good day for Applejack. She had made more bits than she usually made today, and they were beginning to become a rather large pile in one of the shelves. Soon, she would have to start putting them on the next shelf. Smiling as she made yet another sale, she thought of what she could do with the bits. Perhaps she could take the family out for dinner at one of those fancy restaurants? The thought was certainly enticing, as she didn't really have anything else to spend it on, other than Big Mac's new plow, which she already had covered. She almost lost herself in her thoughts when she heard a loud noise behind her. Turning around, she saw that the noise had come from somewhere near the apple cart. She walked over to where she heard the noise and looked around. There was certainly nothing near the cart. She wondered if it came from inside the cart, and took a quick look inside it.

In the cart, she found nothing but the mountain of apples she had come to Ponyville with. Deciding the noise was probably nothing, she turned around and walked back to her stand.

Lamarr would have breathed a sigh of relief if it could, as it heard the sound of the pony's hoofsteps fade away. It had managed to avoid giving itself away, and now had access to a mountain of food. Making sure it couldn't hear any hoofsteps around, it dug itself out of the huge pile of apples it had buried into and began to feast on the apples through the bottom of its body. It did this for quite some time, eating way more apples than something as small as a headcrab had a right to eat. As it continued eating, it lost itself in the food, and all sounds around it became blurs. Lamarr started making noises that were loud enough that a pony who listened hard enough would be able to hear it. It also began to move the apples around much less gently than necessary, causing some apples to outright fly out of the cart.

Applejack smiled as a familiar face walked up to her stand. It was Rarity, a snow-white pony with a purple mane. She was a professional clothing designer and had a fascination for all things fancy.

Rarity greeted her friend, "Hello there, darling! How has the stand been going?"

Applejack smiled at her friend and chuckled, "It's been goin' great! Ah've not sold this much for a while. Ah might take out mah family fer dinner somewhere. Well... maybe not Bloom."

Applejack shrugged as she thought about Apple Bloom and how she went into the Everfree Forest. She remarked, "If she works hard 'nuff Ah'll give her a treat."

Rarity sighed, "I still cannot believe they went into the Everfree! They got poor Sweetie Belle hurt and now she has two HORRIBLE bandages on her face! She looks like a mummy! It's truly the VERY, WORST, THING!"

Applejack rolled her eyes before speaking up again, "Well, Ah don't think they'll do it again after that."

Rarity sighed once again, which annoyed Applejack, "Well, I'll be going off now. Hope you..." she trailed off as she looked past Applejack.

Confused, Applejack turned around. She looked at the cart of Apples as she heard strange noises come out of it. It almost sounded like...

Applejack suddenly burst toward the cart, with a look of rage on her face, "SOME CRITTER'S EATIN' MAH APPLES!"

As she got to the cart, she turned around so that her back legs aligned with the cart. With great speed, she bucked the cart. The cart tilted over and spilled all of its apples onto the ground, as well as one confused headcrab.

As all the ponies around looked at the scene, they all had one thought on their mind.

Rarity spoke her mind first, "What in Celestia's name is that?!" she screamed.

Lamarr knew it was in trouble as it stared at the ponies around it. All of them had shocked or confused looks on their faces, and they hesitated in doing anything for a good while. Lamarr took this opportunity to leap away. As it flew, ponies quickly got out of the way in order to avoid the strange creature jumping at them. As soon as it landed on the ground, it started to scurry away.

Applejack after the headcrab, "GET BACK HERE YOU DAGGUM VARMINT!"

Applejack ran after the creature as it attempted to escape. Many of the ponies watching started to worry more about the creature's safety than how it was an unknown creature. Applejack lunged after the headcrab when she was within distance, but only ate dirt as the creature lept out of the way with surprising speed. Applejack spit the dirt out of her mouth and scrambled to get back up as the creature landed on a box. As soon as it gathered itself it jumped to the top of a window frame. Applejack finally managed to get back up and chased after the creature. She went to the window and jumped up, planting her front legs on the sides of the window. She swat with one leg as the other leg held her up.

"GET DOWN YOU LITTLE VARMINT!"

Applejack finally managed to get a hold on the creature, and flung it off the window toward the ground. Lamarr flailed and screeched as it flew through the air, attempting to balance itself while it flew mid-air. Before it could hit the ground, it was grabbed a pair of yellow hooves.

"Oh, you poor thing! It must be scary to be surrounded by all these ponies in someplace so unfamiliar, " Fluttershy said in a quiet, motherly voice.

Applejack rushed over to Fluttershy, anger still on her face as she looked at the headcrab lying limp in Fluttershy's hooves.

"Get yer hands off that thing, Fluttershy! That there thing tried to eat mah apples!" she yelled.

Fluttershy looked toward Applejack with a stern look on her face, "He was very hungry, Applejack, and saw your apples as the best thing to feed it. While he should have been more considerate in that it was your food, you have no right to attack him like that. You are much bigger than him, " she chastised Applejack.

Suddenly, Lamarr let out a loud, "yelp" sound. Fluttershy looked down at Lamarr before looking off to the side and blushing, "...or um... she."

Applejack growled in frustration before walking off, deciding that the headcrab could wait. Fluttershy looked down at the headcrab in her hooves and started to wonder about it. What was it? Where did it come from? What's that big hole in its bottom? Well, she didn't want to know about that.

Fluttershy simply sighed and began to talk to Lamarr again, "Don't you worry. I'm going to take you to my home and you won't have to deal with this again."

She smiled as she talked to Lamarr, seeing that the creature was calming down, "I'll have you fed whenever you need it, and I'll help you live a comfortable life," she spoke with that motherly voice again.

Lamarr looked at the pegasus and was entranced. For some reason, this thing felt right to be around. It felt safe and protected. It felt like everything would be just fine. Lamarr decided that the pegasus was probably the best thing to follow around her. Maybe it could help it find Kleiner.