Coitus Contest

Chapter 1

The sun shone brightly in the sky, its rays showering the land with life-giving warmth. Celestia, ever watchful and attentive with an eye worth millennia of experience, noticed something was wrong with their youngest elevated member. Setting her cup of tea down. “My dearest Twilight Sparkle, is there something bothering you?” She asked gently using her motherly, warm tone.

“Bothering me? Why would something be bothering me? Aha ha… heeeee…,” Twilight replied, fingers awkwardly scratching the back of her head.

Luna tilted her head. “Are you… certain? Now that my sister has mentioned it, you look rather frazzled. Please, the Summit may be a time for us to relax and unwind but if there is something that requires your attention, you can leave or tell us so we may help you, Twilight.”

Twilight sighed. “I know, Luna… it’s just… I… I don’t know how to tell you. The only one that knows is Spike and that’s only because I slipped up! I messed up! I messed up big time!” She confessed before slamming her face against the table.

Cadance, ever the caretaker, reached out for her sister-in-law and gently rubbed her shoulder. “There, there, Twilight. Come on now, I’m sure it can’t be that bad, right?”

Twilight mumbled and groaned and let out a few pained whimpers before gathering the strength to look up to her sister-in-law. With teary eyes, she looked around to find the concerned expressions of Luna and Celestia looking at her with intent worry. She swallowed hard, ready to face the consequences of her actions, and confessed her wrongdoing.

“I… impregnated my friends.”

Silence fell on the room for what felt like an eternity and Twilight was certain she could hear Discord’s laughter from his pocket dimension at her, all thanks to her self-inflicted humiliation.

Celestia was the first to react. “Excuse me, Twilight. Did you just say that you impregnated the rest of the Element Bearers?”

“I KNOW!” Twilight cried out, tears finally running down her cheeks. “I-I-I swear I tried everything in my power to prevent that from happening but these… these damn urges! Heat season was already bad enough and now I have to endure it almost every day thanks to my damn, horny cock!” She continued to cry, forgetting all etiquette and tact as she continued to pour her heart out. “E-Ever since I ascended these wings weren’t the only thing I gained! I was so scared when I discovered I also had a penis… you know this… but the damn urges! I got hard just by smelling the scent on any of my friends. Living with Starlight has been a challenge in more than one way!”

Celestia and Cadance moved next to their panicking friend and fellow Princess, hugging her through the emotional storm she was experiencing.

“Ssshhh, Twilight. It’s alright, it’s alright. You’ve done nothing wrong,” Cadance called while rubbing her back in an attempt to ease her nerves.

“Calm down, Twilight. Breathe slowly, now exhale, breathe in, exhale. Yes, good, good, that’s good,” Celestia said softly, guiding her with a motherly touch. Meanwhile, Luna merely stared at her fellow Princesses in an attempt to process what was going on.

A few minutes passed until Twilight had enough control of herself to speak coherently and not sob uncontrollably. Sniffing and letting Cadance wipe away her lingering tears, the pink alicorn asked. “Why don’t you tell us what happened from the beginning, Twily?”

Twilight nodded weakly. “It… it started shortly after I ascended. I know back then I said I had everything under control but that was a lie. My arousal went through the roof. Every mare I much as sniffed at made me sprout a full erection. I was able to handle, heh, handle it, get it?” She chuckled at her poorly made pun. Feeling slightly more at ease after hearing her three fellow alicorns giggle slightly, she continued. “As I was saying, I was able to handle my urges through masturbation. It worked for a long time until it didn’t.”

An embarrassed whimper left her throat. I already told them the worst of it, so what’s a little more life-lasting disappointment going to change, right? She thought to herself a moment before taking a deep breath. “I used to masturbate twice a week and, as previously mentioned, that proved to be sufficient. But then, several months ago… two became three, then four, then five. Next thing I know I’m jerking my cock three times a day. My sexual urges were out of control and nothing seemed to satisfy me anymore, even masturbation left me feeling empty and unfulfilled,” she lamented.

“Then… Spike, my sweet little brother, caught me red-handed in the act. He… he proposed to me that I should ask the girls for their help… and I did. I was desperate. They all pitched in to aid me with my raging hormones,” she stopped for a moment, visibly gathering her senses for what was to come. “It was working at first. It began with handjobs, then I would masturbate while admiring their naked bodies, then oral sex. It didn’t take long to convince myself that sex was okay… and they allowed me to satiate my most base and deepest desires on them.”

Tears returned to her eyes but they didn’t fall. “I swear. I swear that I was careful and used protection! Every contraceptive spell I knew and several more I studied! W-We stopped using condoms early on because they didn’t help at all and I made my best to ensure they wouldn’t pay the price of my thirsting lust!” She covered her face with her hands, ashamed. “But it was all for naught! We all grew suspicious when all of them began to show signs of bulging bellies and other early-pregnancy related symptoms. We all got the confirmation yesterday. All five of them… My best friends are pregnant. I put a foal in their wombs. All because I couldn’t control my damn lustful urges!”

Retreating her hands, she turned to Celestia with a distraught expression. “And the worst part is that deep down I feel proud I managed to knock them up!”

A deep, rasping sound caught her attention; distracting her from her inner turmoil long enough to face what had made that sound. To her surprise, she found it had come from Luna, the Princess of the Night that was now staring at her with an aghast expression. Feeling a great pain in her heart, Twilight looked down, not wanting to see Luna’s expression for more than a few seconds. “I understand why you’re appalled, Luna. I can hardly stand myself as it is… say your mind. Whatever you have to say, I deserve it for the horrible actions I’ve committed.”

“Twilight Sparkle,” Luna’s booming voice echoed in the room. “Your assumption is quite correct, for I am certainly shocked and appalled by your actions!”

“Sister, please-”

“Auntie Luna-”

Twilight merely shrank on her seat further and further, her shame infinite and her punishment due, whatever it may be.

“Honestly, I can’t believe you’ve endured for as long as you have to use the gifts of being an alicorn to their fullest! What’s more, you have further restricted yourself from spreading said gifts to more than the rest of the Element Bearers?”

“...What?” Twilight muttered, confused. “What? Wait… What? I… you… w-weren’t you going to punish me, reprimand me for my selfish actions, and turn me back into a unicorn?”

“Whatever in the world made you think that, Twilight?” Luna said, frowning and crossing her arms in anger. “My distaste is not directed at you but rather at the two idiots sitting next to you!”

“Sister, please, don’t make a scene!” Celestia implored while Cadance blushed in embarrassment.

“Oh, I am not making a scene. We’re in a Sumit! There are no prying eyes to watch me nor ears on the wall to hear me say that you two did this! I told you you were coddling her too much! Celestia, you assured me that you disclosed the duties, privileges, and expectations that came with being an alicorn!” Luna reprimanded before turning her gaze at Cadance. “And I told you that sheltering her too much would cause a disaster eventually, didn’t I?”

“I’m sorry,” Cadance lowered her head, doing her best to avoid looking at her aunt in the eye.

“Waitwaitwaitwait! Hold on! Can somepony please explain to me what the hay is going on!?” Twilight demanded, confused. “In case you didn’t hear me, I got my friends knocked up! I’m going to be a mother… father? Mather? How does that even work? A-Anyways, why are you mad at them and not me?”

Luna scoffed. “Why should I be angry with something that’s completely normal and natural, Twilight? I’m mad at those two for not guiding you properly. I never should’ve let you two handle her ‘welcome to alicornhood’ talk!” She narrowed her eyes and her mane swirled violently while her sister and niece returned to her seats. “Twilight, don’t be ashamed of what you’ve done,” she said, her voice returning to normal. “Be proud! You’re finally doing one of the most important obligations all alicorns have to engage in: spreading our blessed seed far and wide so that strong and healthy foals may be born to ensure the future of Equestria and pony kind. It is one of the most important duties a Princess must do.”

“Now,” her friendly, understanding expression turned into a sour one as she frowned and glared at her older sister. “Mind telling me why you never told her about that little detail, dearest sister? Your intentions were well-meaning, I understand that, but your lack of action has led Twilight Sparkle to believe what she has done is monstrous and degenerate!”

Cadance remained still and expectant while Twilight felt the guilt that was threatening to devour her whole, was now diminishing until it was reduced to the size of a speck at the back of her mind. It was then thoroughly squashed by her raising confusion as she looked back and forth between the Royal Sisters.

Celestia sighed in defeat. “The Coitus Procedure was needed after we defeated Discord, sister. Every virile penis and every drop of sperm was needed in those days. But circumstances change and we are no longer in peril,” turning to face her former student with an apologetic expression, she continued. “Back then Equestria was a very different land than it is now. Monsters ran rampant, there was disorder everywhere, hardly any land was right for settlement. Hunger, attacking animals, raids from other creatures, starvation, diseases… we needed to ensure that ponykind could survive. We discovered pretty early on that any foal that was born from our seed was stronger, healthier, smarter, and more likely to survive in such a hostile land.”

“But as time passed and our civilization began to rise, to push back against the darkness and all the threats that surrounded it, we began to see that our seed was starting to be no longer needed.”

Luna scoffed, again. “Speak for yourself, sister.”

Celestia didn’t rebuke her sister’s words. “It only got worse after my fight against Nightmare Moon. With the Elements of Harmony rejecting me after that and now my duties encompassing the work of two Princesses, I had little time to keep spreading my seed further. I still did it on special occasions for the sake of following old traditions. Equestria had outgrown the need for it and it was now strong, healthy, and ready to stand on its own hooves without our direct aid in the gene pool,” she smiled warmly as if remembering fond, old memories. “It allowed me to focus my efforts, energy, and time on other more pressing duties rather than being balls deep in some mare’s pussy.”

Twilight instantly gawked at her former teacher for using such crude, vulgar language but she couldn’t fault her in any way for doing so. Cadance remained silent. Meanwhile, Luna was nodding to herself, deep in thought.

“Ah,” that word carried more weight and potency behind it than expected. Her eyes sparkled and she eyed her sister firmly. “I see. So that’s the full story. Now I understand what happened. I’m sorry, my dear sister,” she sighed heavily only for the corners of her mouth to curl into a smirk. “I’m sorry that you lost your fire, Celestia. Your sexual prowess waned over the centuries without a worthy rival at your side.”

“I beg your pardon!?” Celestia asked with an outraged blush.

“Yes! It makes perfect sense. You needed an excuse to hide your dying flame. What was the turning point, Celestia? Rumors? Pointing fingers? Or the disappointment in the eyes of mares that you could no longer satisfy?”

“LUNA!”

Said Princess suddenly let out an exaggerated gasp and pointed a finger at her sister. “Don’t tell me-” she slowly dropped her finger until it was pointing at the table and she playfully moved it from side to side like a piece of meat. “-you are no longer virile and can’t make your soldier stand up anymore!”

“Wha-- youu! L-LUNAAAAA!” Celestia cried out, her face now redder than a strawberry.

Getting up from her seat, Luna proudly beat her chest. “Spending a thousand years on the Moon has one notable silver lining, I see now! While your seed has grown stale and sterile, I have regained my full strength after cleansing the Nightmare away, I have made a point of impregnating at least five mares a week, dear sister. I am at my prime while you have gone dry and senile!”

Celestia jumped to her hooves, her chair flying off behind her as her mane swirled around her and the temperature of the room went up by a couple of grades. “Says the mare that only knows how to hump away at a mare’s hindquarters, acting with all the diligence of a heat-crazed beast!? Your animalistic rutting and breeding techniques were suitable in the olden days, but sexual arts have developed tremendously during your absence, dear sister. You could not please a mare in heat even if you tried!”

Luna licked her lips. “I hate to inform you that I have done so already, mine sister. And they were quite pleased with my performance. Enough to beg me to sire their second and third foals~”

“Then they must surely not know of the pleasures that I can provide. Yes, you heard me! I am quite capable of ravaging mares, I simply don’t have the time to do so nowadays. You may be more energetic but I have experience and mastery over the sexual arts. Tartarus, I wrote half the chapters in the Ponysutra!”

“I could tell, my dear sister. I was wondering why half of it was filled with sentimental nonsense and useless positions!” Luna retorted.

While the two sisters continued their bickering, Twilight turned to Cadance. With an awkward smile, she raised a shaky hand and pointed at the older alicorns. “Should we, like, try to stop them?”

Cadance giggled before shaking her head gently. “Twilight, they’re sisters and quite competitive, too. Trust me, it’s better to let them sort it out themselves. I’ve seen it happen far too many times to know that if we try to stop them, things will get worse and they will fight over whose side we’re on and so forth and so forth,” she ended with a wink. “Being a babysitter has its perks, you know~?”

Well… on one hand, I don’t feel that bad about what I did anymore. So that’s good, I guess? But now what’s going to happen? She thought while watching the two older alicorns bicker and fight, throwing second-handed insults and slights dressed as compliments about the other’s sexual prowess. Mmmm, I should probably just wait until they’re done to ask them what am I supposed to do next.

Chapter 1 End.

Author's Note

Special thanks to anyone that read this!