Blueblood Un-jerked

by The_Master

Rating: everyone
Tags: Prince Blueblood, Princess Celestia, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Romance
Length: 3532

Blueblood is now the worst stallion in canterlot, or is he?

Blueblood is officially the most hated stallion in equestria since that incident at the gala, but were we really fair to judge him so quickly? Find the real story behind Bluebloods tragedy in, Blueblood Un-jerked!

Published 2012-09-12 06:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-19 20:26:57 UTC

Prolouge

So yeah, first fic and all, hope you enjoy!

Blueblood was having a very bad day. It was the night of the Grand Galloping Gala, and he was trying to make it home with some of his dignity left intact. After that mare, that wonderous, beautiful mare, had so brutally made a fool of him in front of a third of canterlot, he had scurried home In hopes that he could slip away unnoticed. But to no avail, It seemed that this night he was fated to be about as subtle as a pissed off dragon, as almost everyone he saw started throwing trash or booing and shunning him. It really is stunning how fast public opinion can change when one particularly influential pony says otherwise. "Maybe I'll pet a kitten in front of Fancypants's personal troupe of flank-kissers.", Blueblood thought, dodging yet another wave of garbage, "That'll get them d'awwing long enough to get them out of my hair and start fixing my image."

As he contemplated how to make the best of the situation, hope dawned on his face as he finally came in view of his mansion on the edge of the canterlot high-society residential district. Being only a royal by blood and having no real duties, Blueblood didnt have a big house by rich pony standards. Mind you, it was still far larger than any middle-class ponies houses and the prince wasn't suffering, but it wasnt nearly as large as Fancypants Estate or the like. But things like that didn't bother Blueblood, the upbringing of a royal had taught him to appreciate what he got(most of the time), and he wasnt nearly as stuck-up as most of the canterlot elite. Walking through the double oak doors Blueblood decided it was high time to take a shower and prepare for the tactical manure storm coming in tommorow.

Walking out of the bathroom smelling of freshness and old spice, Blueblood went to his den to begin writing an apology letter to that mare from the gala, Rarity was it? Of all the furniture in his high-rise home, his desk was Bluebloods favorite. It was a beutifully carved mahogany writing desk, Blueblood couldn't recall where he got it, only that there was a small engraving on the side that read "made on Malchior 7", whatever that ment. As Blueblood's horn began glowing with the yellow-green aura that was his signature magic, he dropped the quill and decided that a personal apology would be more appropriate for his behaviour. "Blueblood you really picked the worst night possible to try to fit in with the rest of canterlot's VIP ponies." he thought to himself as he headed to bed. "I'll give Aunt Tia an update and then apologise Immediately in the morning." And he drifted off to sleep dreaming about just how the last week led to this canterlot catastrophe...

Through the looking glass

Chapter one, Through the looking glass

As the sun dawned the next morning, Blueblood got up in his usual modus operandi. Which was, not wanting to get up and his conscience giving him a quick smack upside the head and getting up anyway. Blueblood crawled out of bed and entered the luxurious bathroom. After spreading some colgate toothpaste on his toothbrush he began scrubbing furiously. "I really should have been more polite to that orange mare at the apple stand," Blueblood thought, "after all, she didn't know I was on a strict no-sugar diet by order of my dentist, I'll apologize the next time I see her. She should understand." Blueblood finished brushing and got some breakfast consisting of 3 delicious apples. "Hmm, the logo on the box lookes familiar," Blueblood said to no one in particular, "but for another day, I have matters that need attending."

Bluelood exited his mansion and began on a light trot to the palace. Remembering what happened last night on his way home, he silently thanked Celestia that most of Canterlot did not rise as early as she did. Upon arriving at the main gate, blueblood froze as he noticed a small crowd gathering, attempting to gain access. "They probably all want to complain to the princess about the incident at the gala," he muttered under his breath. Thinking of a way to bypass them, it suddenly dawned on him, "IDEEAA!" he exclaimed. Sadly, this little outburst had attracted the attention of the crowd, who, upon seeing Blueblood, turned on him in a manner not unlike the witch hunters of the 14th century.

Panicking and realising he didn't have much time, Blueblood lowered his horn which began glowing a sickly yellow green. The crowd saw him using magic and slowed, but combat was not the Caeruleus prince's intent. Just as he was about to get demolished by the oncoming mob, Blueblood dissapeared in a blinding flash of light. The gaurds could only smile as they sensed their prince appearing behind them. With a triumphant smile Blueblood trotted toward the throne room and said, "And now I would have words with my aunt." As he entered the throne room of Princess Celestia.

"Oh good morning blueblood." chirped Celestia as the cerulean prince entered. "The day court is cancelled for the week due to all the gala complainers, would you like to have a day out? I have some time off and the mini-golf course just got a new extention!" Blueblood sighed and said, "Maybe tomorrow aunt Tia, I need to talk to you." The usually benevolent ruler dropped into a tone she only reserved for serious matters, "What is it Blueblood? Is something the matter?". "I wanted to see if you knew where a certain guest from the gala lives, I believe my behavior towards her was, less than acceptable and I wanted to apologise." "If you mean Rarity, then she lives in Ponyville, along with the rest of her friends." Celestia replied. Blueblood looked up, "Her friends? Well I look forward to meeting them." "I thought you already had," Celestia said, a look of confusion inhabiting her face, "They were at the gala after all." Now it was Blueblood who was confused, "They were? Well maybe I saw them and just didn't recognise them, describe them to me."

Sitting down and preparing for a lengthy explanation, the princess began. "Well first there's Twilight, you probably already know her seeing her position and all." Celestia said. Blueblood was suprised, "Rarity is on a first-name basis with your personal protege? Friends in high places indeed." Celestia continued, "Then there's her friend Fluttershy, the yellow pegasus with the three butterflies cutie mark." Blueblood felt tendrils of fear crawling up his hooves and into his very heart, "You dont happen to mean the um, loud one by chance?" Celestia smirked and said, "Oh no she's not like that most of the time, she was just, stressed." Deciding not to pursue the matter, Blueblood simply motioned for her to proceed. "Then there's Pinkie Pie, the bright pink earth pony with balloons for a cutie mark." As memories of the pink one flooded back into his mind, Blueblood shuddered to Imagine what Inpony thoughts lied behind those eyes, what dreams of chronic, sustained, partying. His thoughts were interrupted by Celestia's voice as she continued, "There's also Rainbow Dash, I believe you remember me telling you about her from the best young fliers competition?" Blueblood nodded in agreement, before seeing the clock and jumping up urgently. "The train!" he exclaimed, "There's a train to Ponyville leaving in 10 minutes!". He began to gallop out the door as Celestia called out to him, "But there's still one more I havent mentioned!" "Who?" the prince exclaimed from the other side of the room. "An orange earth pony mare named Applejack! I'm surprised you didn't see her at the gala, she had her own apple cart and everything! Not to mention she's also the supplier of apples to the royal family!"
Realizing the gravity of the situation, Blueblood's blood turned to ice, and for a moment before wandering off to the train station, Blueblood was actually blue.

Introductions

Chapter two, Introductions

On the way to Ponyville, Blueblood was almost sick with worry. "What will happen when she recognises me?" he thought. "She might start throwing things at me, or she might poison my apples! She might even stop supplying the royal family!" As Bueblood began hyperventilating, his butler Autumn breeze simply sighed and said, "Calm down your excellency, I'm sure that affairs in Ponyville will go smoothly." Starting to breath again Blueblood said, "Are, are you sure?" "Positive!" Autumn breeze replied. So Blueblood simply calmed down and practiced his introductions untill they arrived in Ponyville.

When they arrived, Blueblood was relieved that his premonitions of a "country town" weren't at all correct. He looked around and saw that there were plenty of ponies to ask around, and they seemed friendly enough so he started walking. As he was about to ask a light teal unicorn mare for directions, he caught out of the corner of his eye a familiar pink earth pony glaring at him from across the street. As he turned to look however, the pony he now Identified as Pinkie Pie raced off in a pink blur. "Let's get out of here Autumn, we can look somewhere else." Blueblood said as he was urgently trying to get away from the area he was spotted. In his rush he did not see where he was headed and crashed into Twilight. "Ow! Well that's one way to make an introduction." he said as he got up to identify just who he hit. Twilight got up and said, "I'm sorry, I was just reading Luna's astronomical guide to the night sky and-wait, you're that jerk stallion from the gala Rarity told us about!"

Blueblood winced as introductions weren't going as well as he had hoped. "Yes, and I was hoping to apologise. Could you point me in the right direction?" he said. Twilight's negative demeanor fell as she decided to give him a chance. "Her boutique is down the street, a few houses down and to the left, cant miss it." "Thank you, Twilight was it?" As she was walking away Twilight stopped and exclaimed, "How do you know my name? Blueblood replied, "I would be ashamed of myself if I didn't know the name of Celestia's personal protege and element of magic. My name is Blueblood, for future refrence." And with that he left a confused Twilight in the dust.

Now well on his way, Bluebloods view of Ponyville went from crisp and clear to mud as something blasted into him. Now recovering from his dirt-nap, Blueblood heard a muffled "Hehe, excuse me?" Blueblood deadpanned, "There ARE other ways for somepony to introduce herself you know." Fully cleaned off, Rainbow Dash got up and upon seeing blueblood, equiped a scowl that could sweeten lemons. "Your that jerk stallion that hurt Rarity!" she exclaimed. Blueblood sighed, "I have a name you know, and it's not jerk stallion." RD replied angrily, "Well I dont really care. You hurt my friend and I have half a mind to kick your teeth out mister!" Smirking, Blueblood replied, "Do I sense feelings for a certian somepony?" Rainbow dash's reply came out as smoothly as if somepony shoved a large brick down her throat. "W-W-W-WHAT?!? Um I, gah, I didn't mean it like that!" Blueblood was finding this absolutly hilarious, "Oh I never knew the best flier in Equestria was such a softy! And for another mare no less!" Rainbow Dash, now blood red, was mortified that her words could be twisted in such a way. "Shut up!" she shouted. Blueblood was on the verge of tears, this was too good. "I-I, *gasp* cant, breath! Bahahaha!" Rainbow dash shot off, convinced that she could not salvage the situation right now.

After he recovered, Blueblood began to feel bad and made a note to explain later that he was only poking fun, and went on his way. As the Boutique came into view, Blueblood remembered that she liked roses, and stopped to pick up a bouquet before he made the encounter.
As he approached the flower stand, a pegasus bumped into him while getting into line behind him. Blueblood was getting irritated at this point, "Is there no method of introduction other than crashing into me?" as he turned around to confront the pegasus. "Oh I'm so sorry, I'll just be on my way." The yellow pegasus replied timidly. Blueblood froze as he recognised the pegasus as Fluttershy from the gala. Pushing all fear aside he replied, "No, It's my fault, I should have payed more attention. Are you all right?" The timid pegasus replied, "Yes, I'm fine, I was just getting some petunias for my garden. My last ones died of overwatering." Realising that Celestia's words rang true, and this pegasus wasn't the animal maniac she appeared to be at the gala, Blueblood spoke up, "Autumn Breeze! Where are you?" Appearing from seemingly nowhere the butler, who had not been seen since the train station, calmly answered, "I never leave your side, visible or not my prince."

Not sure if he should be reassured or worried, he brushed away the fact and focused. "Autumn, I want you to get me a bouquet of roses, and a basket of petunias for the lovely mare." He gestured at Fluttershy, who turned sheer red and hid deeper into her mane than thought was physically possible. "Oh that's not neccesary." she said. "Think nothing of it, it's of no financial burden on me. I am a prince after all." Autumn Breeze then returned with the flowers and said, "It's 11:30 sir, perhaps you could invite Rarity to lunch afterwards." "Excellent Idea, have a fine day miss Fluttershy." Taking her newly aquired flowers, Fluttershy perked up and said, "Oh thank you so much! I will!" and with that, she took off toward the other edge of town. having finally prepared himself for the encounter, Blueblood strode toward the boutique.

He turned to his butler, "Autumn, I'll handle this one alone." "Of course sir." Replied the amber earth pony as he slinked away. Blueblood knocked on the door and waited, wondering what kind of reaction he would get out of the unicorn. As the door opened, Rarity's expression upon seeing him went from confusion to broken hearts and untold rage. "YOU!" she exclaimed. "Yes, and I-" but before he could finish, the door slammed shut with decapitating force. Miffed at the impudence, Blueblood smiled and said, "So your going to play hard to get. Don't worry my love. I am an expert at siege, and your hearts defences will crumble and melt before me in due time." And with that, Blueblood began devising ways to have Rarity hear him out.

Forgiveness

Chapter three, Forgiveness

Blueblood trotted through town, wondering how to get through to rarity without being instantly rejected. As he pondered, Autumn breeze approached. "I suspect negotiations didn't go quite as planned?" Blueblood was not in the mood, "Oh what a brilliant deduction, how ever did you manage to do it?" "Sarcasm is unbecoming of you sir." Autumn replied. Blueblood sighed, "Just find us a bucking hotel room Autumn, we're going to be here awhile." "Attrition?" he asked. "Attrition." Blueblood replied. The golden amber stallion trotted off to find someplace they could spent the night, leaving the prince to his own devices. The prince gathered his things and walked on, now that his plans for lunch with rarity were ruined, he could go and find something real to eat. He found an area that looked like a farmers market, and decided this was the best course of action.

"Ah, I remember back when I was a foal, dad and uncle Fancypants would take me to the farmers market all the time." As he was reminiscing he spotted an apple stand with apples that looked just as good as the ones back in Canterlot. But as he approached, he stopped dead in his tracks. Right behind the stand, was none other than Applejack, the orange mare he had so pompously insulted at the gala. "And suddenly I'm not hungry anymore." as he turned to run before she spotted him. His realization came too late sadly, as he heard a familiar country voice yell out from behind him. "Hey you! Fancypants over there with the rose basket! I'm talking to you!" Blueblood broke into a gallop, "Fancypants is my uncle!" he shouted as he heard hooves thundering behind him. Not the most appropriate comeback but what was he supposed to think of while running like a madmare? Then suddenly the chase came to a crashing end as Applejack tackled the prince into the ground. Blueblood taking his, what was it? The fourth time he'd been smashed into today? He lost count. point was, he was caught. This was the end, and this-oh wow are all of the elements of harmony so attractive? Gah, guy thoughts, this was the end, and now this mare was going to END him.

"Phew, almost lost ya there. Now down to business." Blueblood closed his eyes, waiting for a hoof to come down and end his existence. "Watch-ya just cowering there for? get up and look!" Blueblood, now very confused, obeyed and rose. When he opened his eyes he saw before him a tray of Bite sized apple fritters. Now if an apple farmer were to forge a food worthy of the tongues of the Canterlot elite, this was it. "Aren't ya going to take one?" She asked. "But why? I thought you hated me." Applejack let out a laugh, it was a hardy, workhorses laugh. "Hate you? Now I wasn't too impressed with them fancy ponies behavior at the gala, yours in particular." Blueblood hung his head at that. "But that would be no reason to hate somepony over! Now after the gala, I went home and said to myself, "AJ, If you ever see that snooty prince again, you make sure that you have something ready that'll knock his socks off!" And thats exactly what I did." Blueblood didn't know what to say. "I, I, I'm so sorry!" He was at her hooves, "I was having an off day and I, there was the dentist, and the sugar, and please forgive me!" Applejack was unimpressed. "They sure make them more dramatic in Canterlot that's fer sure. Aw get up you." she said. "So, your not angry?" Blueblood asked. "Not no more, and now thats taken care of, lets eat!"

After a delightful lunch with applejack, Blueblood decided to take an actual tour of the town, not just observe his surroundings as he was searching for something he needed. The houses, while nothing compared to the minas tirithian marble beauty of Canterlot, were "charmingly rustic", as Uncle Fancypants would put it. Then Blueblood came across the most astounding thing he had seen all day, which was saying something. Standing before him was a two story structure that seemed to be made entirely of gingerbread! Before he could investigate however, he was once again barreled into for the umpteenth time today. What was different this time however, is that the assailant seemed to have scooped him up in a leather sack and take him away! This was no accident this time, this was kidnapping! He felt his captor enter a structure which he could only guess was the gingerbread structure. Unceremoniously dumped into the corner of the room, Blueblood finally managed to escape the sack. "Outrage! Who has the audacity to kidna-why are all the lights off?" Blueblood exclaimed. Scanning the darkened room he could only make out a few vague shapes. There was one however, that stood out among the rest. On the other side of the room, was none other than Pinkie Pie.

Fear clutched his heart with an iron grip and refused to yield. "Who are you!" he shouted, even though he already knew. A cold, soothing voice composed his reply, "Oh silly, you already know who I am. what I want to know is, who are you?" "Blueblood! My name is Blueblood!" he exclaimed, wanting this nightmare to end. Pinkie started walking towards him. "Stay away from me!" he shouted, "I have nothing of value!" "Oh I think you do, and pinkie gets what pinkie wants." she cooed. He was getting was hysteric now. "What do you want from me! I'll do anything!" Standing next to him now, pinkie ran a hoof over Blueblood's head and down his neck. "All I want is an answer." she said. "Tell me, I'll say it! What is it that you want?!" Blueblood was panicking. Pinkie Pie pulled out a tray that he hadn't seen before, probably was resting on her back. At least this would have been his thought process if he wasn't absolutely terrified. Sitting on the tray were twenty small confections with a strange looking rainbow icing. Blueblood couldn't speak now, the words stopped in his throat as he frantically searched for a way out. Then she spoke, in a voice that could chill bones.

"Want a cupcake?"

Blueblood screamed.