My Little Fortress: Team Is Magic
Twilight Sparkle’s POV
It’s a lazy day this morning, which is good. I have had just too much going on as of late… Especially yesterday. Yeesh.
I mean, don’t get me wrong: Pinkie Pie’s parties are pretty awesome, for the most part. And it was for a good cause as well, it being Rainbow Dash’s birthday and everything.
I just wish it hadn’t gone on as long as it had…
I yawn as I roll over in my bed. I see Spike lazing about in his bed, and I can’t help but smile. He tried to make it all the way through Dash’s party yesterday, he really did… Unfortunately, with him being as little as he is, he just couldn’t stay up all the way through.
I’m just surprised the loud music didn’t wake him up. He’s always been a heavy sleeper, though, I guess.
I get up and stretch my tired limbs. It’s still too early… I don’t really even want to get up. Unfortunately, I kind of have to. Princess Celestia is coming later on today to check out my research on alternate universe-viewing.
I’ve been working on this machine to allow a pony to go to another dimension, but not really. I think they call it virtual reality. Anyways, that’s what I’ve been working on for the past month or so, and it’s finally done.
Now all I need to do is-
Gah. A knock on the door. “Who is it?” I call out.
“It’s me!” says a familiar voice. “I need to talk to you about something, Twilight!”
“Coming!” I call out, hopping out of bed. I head down the stairs and walk over to the door. I open it up, smiling.
“What’s up, Rainbow Dash?” I step aside to let her come in. She’s smiling pretty widely, so I know something’s gone well for her. “What’s gotten you so happy?”
“Man,” she replies, “yesterday was the greatest day ever! I got to spend the morning with Rainbowshine and we played this really sweet new game called Team Fortress 2, and then-“
“Called what, now?”
“Team Fortress 2. And don’t worry, I said pretty much the same thing when I first found out about it. Anyways, we played that until a little after noon, then I went and took a nap and guess what?”
“What?”
“I had a dream!”
I chuckle a bit. “Well, that is generally what tends to happen when you go to sleep.”
She looks at me with a deadpan expression. “Come on, Twilight, you know I wouldn’t even be mentioning it if it were just a regular dream… Anyways, I dreamed I was in the game! I was flying alongside one of the characters- the Scout, I think he called himself- and… well, it was the best dream I’ve had in quite awhile!”
“Wow, that sounds… interesting. So tell me a little more about this game.”
“Well, there are nine classes you can play as; the Scout is only one of them. There’s the Heavy, which is this massively huge guy who carries around a mini-gun, there’s the Sniper, who I think just has a sniper rifle and shoots people from across the map…”
I can’t help but be intrigued by this. Especially by this Sniper character that she’s mentioned. I’m rather liking him already.
“Do you have the game?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Rainbowshine does, though. I’m pretty sure that she won’t mind if I borrow it, if you want to play it.”
I’m about to respond, when a stroke of brilliance comes over me. This is the perfect opportunity for me to test out my virtual reality machine!
“I’ll do you one better, Rainbow Dash. How would you like to help me out in one of my little experiments?”
She looks at me a bit wary. “What exactly does this… experiment entail?”
I smile a bit evilly, which causes her to cringe a bit. “Go get the game from Rainbowfire-“
“Rainbowshine.”
“Oh, sorry- Rainbowshine… and bring it here. I’ve got an idea that’ll make quite a few of us happy…” She’s still looking at me funny, but eventually she acquiesces and flies away.
It’s about at this point that Spike walks downstairs, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “Dang, Twilight… Can you and Rainbow make any more noise?”
I laugh a bit sheepishly. “My bad, Spike… Hey as long as you’re awake, you wanna help me with something? I think I’ve found the perfect first test for the VR machine…”
It’s about another hour or so before Rainbow Dash shows back up. She’s got a mailsack slung over her shoulder, and I can see something rather bulky inside. I’m about to ask whose it is, but then I see the muffin clip on the side of it, and everything makes sense.
“Why did Derpy give you her mailsack?” I ask curiously.
“Oh, this? I needed something to carry the game in. Besides, she was done with her morning mail call, except for one letter which was for you anyways. She just told me to have it for her when she comes by to get it for her afternoon mail run, and she’ll just pick it up then.”
“Ah.” I turn to the machine and give it a showy little presentation. “So? What do you think?”
She looks up at it, after taking the game and my letter out of the mailsack. “Whoa.” She looks it over for a minute, not saying anything. Finally, she continues: “That… is big. How long did it take you to build it?”
“Me and Spike together, about three weeks. I started on it as soon as Princess Celestia gave me the task, and I just finished it last night.”
“It looks… complicated. Dare I ask how it works?”
I laugh softly. “It’s not really all too complicated. Besides, you’re going to have to learn it regardless. I need your help with something.”
Now she’s really looking at me with a wary eye. “Um… okay…”
“You were telling me about that game earlier, and well… I got pretty intrigued about it. So I went on the PonyNet and looked it up.”
“What’d you find?”
“Oh, a whole bunch of stuff! Anyways, the upshot of it is, I’m more excited than ever about it. So, what I wanted to do was to plug the game into the VR machine and see how it runs.”
I must have said something really out of character, because Rainbow Dash looks at me now with the strangest expression on her face. “So wait… you actually want to play the game? Using that machine?”
“Um, yeah… Why, should I not do that?”
“Oh, no, no!” Dash explains, blushing a bit. “I didn’t meant to imply that. It’s just… well, you don’t really seem like a likely candidate to volunteer to play a game.”
This is definitely true. “I guess so, but the way you were talking about it, you broke down my defenses. Now I want to play it.”
Rainbow grinned. “That’s awesome! And if you need me to mann- I mean, man- the machine while you’re in there, I’d be glad to.”
I nod and walk over to the side of the contraption. “And it’s not like you’re going to be in here working this giant thing by yourself, either. Spike is going to be here the whole time, and he knows this machine just as well as I do.” I look around as I say that. “Where is Spike, by the way?”
“I think he went back to sleep. He was mentioning something about not getting his beauty rest earlier… I think I might’ve woken him up.” I can’t help but shake my head at him; Spike and his sleep…
I take a minute or two to show Dash how the machine works, and she seems to get it right off the bat. I told her it wasn’t complicated… Maybe she won’t even need Spike, after all. It’ll be good to let the little guy sleep.
I walk over to the chair and strap on the goggles. “You remember how to fire it up, right?” Dash pops the disc into the tray on the side and gives me a hoofs-up. I take that as my signal, and I start the machine up.
Nothing happens.
“Um, Rainbow… Are you sure you put the disc in on the right side?”
“What side was it supposed to be on?”
I sigh. “You were the one who brought the disc to me, to begin with. I thought you knew.”
“How was I supposed to know? Rainbowshine already had the disc in her laptop when I got there.” She goes over and removes the disc, looking at both sides of it. After a moment, she slides it back in, shiny-side down. “There, I think that does it.”
I power the machine down, then start it back up again. I’m just about to say something to her when-
A blinding flash of light.
It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust, but when I do so, I find myself in a cramped room with a whole bunch of people. They’re all wearing the same color uniform: red. I have no idea where I am at this point, so I go over to the most unassuming individual to speak to him.
“Um, pardon me, sir… Where am I?”
He looks down at me, and his eyes about pop out of his head. “What in the bloody hell are you supposed to be?” His accent is unlike any I’ve heard before.
“I’m a pony,” I reply honestly. “What are you supposed to be?”
“I’m a snoipeh. Pleased to meet ya.”
It takes me a minute to process what he’s just said. When it finally gets through to me, I grin widely. This is the sniper! The one I said I wanted to meet!
“So… what exactly does a sniper do?”
His expression changes, from one of disbelief to one of elation. I think he likes the prospect of showing off his sniping skills.
“Just stick with me, lass. I’ll show ya everything ya need to know.”
Suddenly, a voice sounds from a speaker on the wall: “Mission begins in ten seconds.” After a few seconds, it begins a countdown. When it gets down to zero, the doors automatically open and everyone starts rushing out.
“Remember! Stay close to me!” I run as fast as I can, but his long legs are causing him to run faster than I ever could. I put on my determined face, though, and I try to keep up with him. Eventually, we get to a cabin-like building, and he finally stops.
“Alright, so this is where we’ll stay at for now.” He looks down the barrel of his gun, then fires a shot. “Ah damn, I missed ‘im…” He reloads a shot, then focuses and fires again. “Hah! Bastard didn’t even see the second one comin’!”
I was looking at the playing field and I didn’t even see the person that he shot. “Um… how far can that thing shoot?”
He looks at me momentarily before grinning and sighting himself back in. “If I can see him… I can shoot him.” Wow. I look around at the battlefield and see a cluster of enemies with blue-colored clothing. “You can’t shoot all of them at once, can you?”
He notices where I’m looking and grins a bit evilly. “Nope, but I’ll show you what I can do.” He reaches into what I think is absolutely nowhere and pulls out a jar filled with a yellow liquid.
Oh god. What the hell? “Is that really-“
“Bombs away!” He launches it out the window at the gaggle of enemies, drenching them all in the contents. Immediately, a very large man pops up from around the corner and unleashes a hail of bullets from a very large gun, demolishing all of the enemies in a matter of seconds.
My sniper friend laughs maniacally. “Bloody hell, you are awful…!” Suddenly, an idea comes to him, and he looks at me.
“You want to try?”
Me? As a sniper? “Um, well, yes I would like to try, but… I don’t entirely know how how well I’ll do.”
“You’ll do fine. Just do what I’ve been doing. Make sure you aim properly before firing, and you’ll get the hang of it.” He takes the time to set the sniper rifle up on the windowsill, using a tripod, before taking out a very long sword-looking object.
“What’s that?”
“Oh, this old beaut? I call this the Tribalman’s Shiv. I make ‘em bleed. That’s the fun part.” He grins again. “Just start snipin’. I’ll make sure no one gets ya from behind.”
I take a deep breath and look down the scope. Immediately, I see an enemy version of the large man from our team lumbering down from the opponents’ hut. “Is that… the Heavy?”
He looks out the window as well. “Sure is. If you see a Heavy or a Soldier- they're the ones with the giant rocket launchers on their shoulders- go for them first. They’re the easiest to pick off, seeing as they’re the slowest.”
Huh. Makes sense. I keep trained in on him for another few seconds before squeezing the trigger. Almost immediately, he flops onto the ground, a nice clean bullet hole in his skull.
“Hah! What’d I tell ya? You’ve got the hang of it already- whoops, hang on!” I look to the side just in time to see him finish off an enemy clad in some kind of full-body suit, but not before the enemy’s gun has lit him completely on fire.
Almost on instinct, I reach over to the side, where he’d set another jar of that yellow… whatever it was, and throw it on him. Luckily, it douses the fire.
He shakes off the excess liquid. “Bloody hell… Them damn Pyros. I hate ‘em- well, when they’re not on our side. Bloody crazy-ass motherf-“
His sentence is cut short, as a gentleman clad in a full suit and ski mask appears from out of nowhere- was he invisible?- and buries a knife in the sniper’s back, causing him to fall onto the floor dead. He laughs, then looks at me, a look of shock slowly coming over him.
“Now what on earth are you supposed to-“
At this point, though, my vision’s already begun to blur and go red. I remember running over to the Tribalman’s Shiv, if that’s what he called it, and picking it up. I slice out at the newcomer, watching him fall to my blade.
I laugh out loud as I stand over his fallen body, and then-
I feel the goggles being pulled from my eyes, and the next thing I know I’m staring at Rainbow Dash, who has a very concerned look on her face.
“What?” I ask. “What’s wrong?”
“You, Twilight… You went all crazy there at the end. Started saying something about ‘no one kills my sniper friend’ or something like that…”
Oh. Well apparently the virtual reality affected my mind a bit more than I’d thought. “Sorry about that. Did I wake Spike up at all?”
Dash laughs. “Not in the slightest. He’s been out cold since you got in that thing.”
I almost don’t hear that last part, because I’m struck with an absolutely brilliant idea. “Dash. Gather up all the others. As many of our friends as you can find.”
She looks at me funny. “Why do you want me to do that?”
I grin like the Sniper did. “Because, my friend… I want everyone to experience this wondrous thing for themselves.”
Success! We Have Secured the Enemy Intelligence!
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My Little Fortress: Team Is Magic
Success! We Have Secured the Enemy Intelligence!
Rainbow Dash's POV
I’m just a simple pony, with simple pleasures. A nice, long nap… The comfort and companionship of my best friends in the world… But most of all, I take pleasure in being fast. I’m the fastest pony around, for sure. I mean, who else has pulled off a Sonic Rainboom in recent memory? No one, besides me that is. So I automatically know I’m pretty special.
Tomorrow, also, is the most special day of the year. What day, you ask? You really don’t remember? It’s my birthday!
I already know that Pinkie Pie is throwing a massively huge party for me. I mean, she pretty much has to. I coordinated her birthday party earlier this year, so she kinda owes me big time on this one. It’s not like she won’t want to, either. I mean, she is the Queen of Parties. It’s kind of her thing.
It sucks, though. I gotta pretend I don’t know anything about what’s going on. It kills me every year, trying not to think about the 24-hour spectacular that is Pinkie’s annual birthday party for me. Yeah, that’s right. It goes on… All. Day. Long.
You can start envying me now… If you didn’t already, that is.
So anyways, I’ve gotta figure out something to do. So I head up to Rainbowshine’s house. I’ve always liked her; she really looks up to me, plus she’s got this really cute way about her. Naturally, I’m welcome at her house anytime I like.
When I get there, she’s already waiting for me. Which is kinda weird, considering I didn’t tell her I was stopping by. I wanted it to be a surprise. Oh well, guess the cat got out of the bag.
“Hi, Rainbow Dash!” she yells, waving animatedly at her. I come in for a landing and put on my trademark grin.
“Sup, Rainbowshine?”
“Oh, not much. Hey, I got something that I think you’ll really like. As far as I know, I’m the only one in all of Cloudsdale who has it.”
Okay, now she’s got my attention. I follow her inside. When we get to her room, she throws her front hooves spread-eagle towards her bed. “Ta-da!”
I’m looking for something I’ve never seen before, but all I see is her laptop computer, and I’ve used that enough to know that it’s not exactly new. “Um, Rainbowshine… Not trying to be rude here, but I’ve already seen your laptop before-“
That’s when I notice. It’s not the laptop that she’s trying to show me… it’s what’s on the screen. “What the hell is a Team Fortress 2?”
“Oh it’s this awesome new computer game!” she says, all bubbly. “You get to play one of nine characters, and you kill everyone else who’s not on your team! It’s so fun!”
Wow, she’s really fired up about this. Then again, I can’t really blame her; it sounds pretty fun, actually. “Okay, you have my interest. Show me how this works.”
She uses her specially-made pony-friendly mouse (made possible thanks to the one and only Twilight Sparkle) to click on the button that says “Browse Servers.” She then goes to “Favorites” and chooses one. It starts the process of logging her on… or whatever it’s called.
I look at the server name. “What the heck is a Nighteam…? Is that a pony?”
“I think so,” she replies. “I’ve talked to the pony who runs the server; apparently, they live right here in Cloudsdale! I’ve been pretty busy lately, just getting everything ready for Storm Day.”
Oh yeah, that is coming up pretty soon. I need to remember that- oh hey, it’s finished loading. Once she goes through all the initial screens, she comes up to the character selection screen. She chooses the Scout, and off she goes.
“Damn,” I murmur. “He’s really fast.”
“Yup!” Rainbowshine replies. “He’s the fastest character in the game. Watch this!”
For the next few hours, she shows me all the cool tricks that the Scout can pull off. She even earns a few achievements in the process. When she finally logs off, I look at her and grin. “Okay, you’ve convinced me. This is now the official coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Where’d you get it?”
“A pony friend who lives all the way out in Manehattan. She got it for me, for an early birthday present.”
“Oh? Well you know my birthday’s tomorrow. When’s yours?”
She lights up like a Christmas tree. “Oh my god, no way! We share the same birthday!” She starts jumping up and down animatedly; she reminds me a lot of Pinkie Pie, actually, when she’s doing this.
“Yeah, I guess so,” I reply. “Hey, I already know for a fact that Pinkie Pie is hosting a birthday party for me tomorrow. Why don’t you talk to her about making it a double party? Both of our parties rolled up into one.”
“Hmm… I’ll have to talk to her about that.” She looks at the clock. “Oh man, I’m almost late for my second shift! I’ll catch you later, Rainbow Dash!” She winks at me and flies out her window.
I look at the clock. Wow, it is getting late. I need to get back to Ponyville and rest up for my big party tomorrow. I fly back at supersonic speeds, though barely not getting up to Sonic Rainboom-levels. Once I get back, I find my favorite cloud and smile. My blanket and pillow are still there.
I settle in, and soon I’m dead to the world.
A loud explosion goes off near me, which wakes me up immediately. Are you kidding? Where’s my cloud? And where the hell am I? I’m in the middle of some dusty field… I see something land beside me. Is that…?
It explodes and throws me back a few yards. Yep, I was right. That was a grenade.
I hear a yell from further up the way, in a really weird accent. “Here I come!” is all he says. Soon, he comes into my vision. Oh shit, this guy is huge. Plus, he’s got this gigantic gun with him. He’s using it to mow everyone down in his path. One of the bullets takes a direct trajectory towards me. I fly up to avoid it.
That’s when I realize that I’m wearing clothing. For the first time in my entire life, I’m wearing clothing. They seem familiar, though… Where have I seen these threads before?
“Woohoo!” I hear from below me. Okay, now I definitely recognize that voice. But it’s impossible, isn’t it? I look down. Okay, definitely not impossible. That is most assuredly the Scout.
But wouldn’t that mean… I’m in that Team Fortress 2 game that Rainbowshine was showing me earlier? That isn’t possible… Is it?
I fly down to the Scout, just as he fires his gun and kills some random guy in a red suit, who was shooting flames everywhere. “Hey!” I yell. “What the hell is going on here?”
“We’re trying to get the intelligence!” the Scout replies. I think he just then realizes there’s no one around him, so he looks up. “What the fuck?!” he yells, jumping back a step. “Who are you?!”
“My name’s Rainbow Dash,” I reply. Is this guy seriously scared of me?
He stops to think for a second. “Dash, huh…? Well, it looks like you’re on BLU team so you’re kinda stuck here for the moment. You wanna make an intel run with me?”
“Sure…” I reply tentatively. “How do we do that?”
“Simple. We go into the RED base, steal the red briefcase, and bring it back here. We do that three times, we win.”
“Sounds easy enough,” I say. “How many times have we done it so far?”
“None,” the Scout replies dejectedly. “And RED team already has two captures on us-“
I’m not waiting for him. I zoom off and find the enemy base. Once I’m inside, suddenly this gigantic gun on a tripod is firing bullets and missiles at me. I see a really short guy standing behind the gun, whacking it with a very large wrench.
I zoom around and dodge the bullets and missiles. As I fly above it all, suddenly this guy in a blue tuxedo appears out of nowhere and throws some mechanical gadget onto the giant gun.
“Oh no!” the short guy cries out. “Spy is sappin’ mah sentry!” Huh. He sounds a lot like Applejack… except, you know, AJ isn’t a guy.
I remember what I’m here for, and fly around for a bit more trying to find the damn thing. Eventually, I find it downstairs, and I zoom back to our base to drop it off.
A voice sounds from nowhere. “Success! We have secured the enemy Intelligence!”
I fly back over to the Scout, who’s gaping at me with an open mouth. “Seriously?” he asks. “There’s no possible way you can be that fast.”
“Oh, it’s possible alright. Watch this!” I fly off and pick up a pie that’s just randomly laying around. Then, I fly over to a guy who has a really long gun- I think I remember Rainbowshine mentioning he was called the Sniper- and I throw it right in his face. This throws his aim off and and he glares at me angrily.
“Hey!” he yells. “I thought I told you not to-“ He cuts himself off suddenly, presumably when he sees what I am. I grin at him and do an Applejack-style kick right to his midsection. He flips over the railing and lands on the ground below. I guess I killed him…
Oh god. I just killed somebody. I race back to the Scout. “Did you see that? I killed him…”
“Yeah, I saw. You was pretty good. Don’t worry, he’ll respawn in a second and you can kill him again.”
“Oh, so deaths in this game aren’t permanent?”
“Nope. Closest thing we have to that is an Arena game, and that only lasts until the next round.”
Well, I feel much better now. I may love to rough things up every once in awhile, but killing? Nope. I dash off again, and return a few seconds later with the briefcase.
“Success! We have secured the enemy Intelligence!”
“Alright!” the Scout yells. He sees another Scout heading right towards him. He looks up at me and grins. “Play ball!” I fly behind him and kick him in the small of his back, which causes him to fly right at my Scout. While he’s in mid-air, my Scout puts his gun away and takes out a wooden bat with spikes driven into it. He grins evilly and swings it, decapitating the enemy Scout with one fluid motion.
“I call this beauty the Boston Basher!” he yells as he races off. I grin as I follow him.
“Only one more left!” I cry out. “Let’s do this together!”
“Yeah, let’s waste ‘em!” he replies. Soon, we are in their base and grabbing their intelligence, and a few seconds later, we deposit our hard-earned cache.
“Victory!” a female voice sounds off. All of the players on our team cheer.
“We won!” the Scout says, looking at me. “Good job, kid. You’re gonna go far.” I smile again.
Suddenly, we’re teleported into this room with a whole bunch of equipment on the walls and what looks to be a huge cabinet in the corner. Hey, it’s got Nurse Redheart’s cutie mark on it! Awesome!
“Mission begins in sixty seconds!” It’s that same female announcer again. The Scout leans in to me. “Ya know, there are rumors that the Pyro is the announcer lady…”
The who? Oh, he must mean the flame-throwing guy from earlier. I give a non-commital shrug; I really could care less either way. The voice keeps counting down the time until the mission begins.
Finally, it hits time. “Mission begins in ten seconds!” the voice says. “Five… four… three… two… one…”
“Surprise!”
Huh? I open my eyes to see Pinkie Pie bouncing on a cloud beside me. How did she get up here-
Wait. I was just in that room, waiting for the mission to begin. Was… was it all a dream? No, it can’t have been. It felt so real.
“Wakey wakey!” Pinkie says with a grin. “It’s your birthday!”
Yeah… yeah it is. Though it seems kinda anticlimactic, considering what I just witnessed. Dream or not, that was pretty sweet. I stand and stretch. “So where’s the party being held?”
Pinkie looks shocked. “Who told you??”
I laugh. “Pinkie Pie, you throw me a party every year. It’s not exactly a surprise anymore.”
She actually looks kinda sad now. “But… surprise parties are the best kinds of parties…” I feel pretty bad now.
“Tell you what,” I say. “I’ll act surprised. You know, for everyone else’s benefit.”
She looks at me oddly. “Surprised about what?” I don’t even want to know… “Never mind,” I say. “Let’s get going.” I give her a ride down to the ground.
“Oh! I almost forgot. Rainbowshine wants you to go to her house right quick-like. She has a surprise for you.”
Huh? “Okay…” I reply. I take off in the direction of Cloudsdale. What on earth could she have for me? Oh. Maybe a birthday present. But why couldn’t she just give it to me at the party?
I arrive at her house a bit later. Oddly, she’s not out there to greet me. “Hey, Rainbowshine!” I yell. “I’m here! What’s the surprise?” No answer. Huh.
I fly into her window. Her laptop is gone, so she must be out someplace. There is a box on the bed, and it’s addressed to me. I pick it up carefully and shake it. There’s definitely something inside. I tear it open and look inside-
No way. It can’t be. I heft the bat with one hoof, careful to avoid the long spikes coming out of it. There’s a note attached to it, so I read it. It’s pretty short.
“To Rainbow Dash: Thanks for a great time. Hope this makes your birthday awesome. –The Scout”
Wait. So… it wasn’t a dream after all? I smile. Maybe that means… I can go back there someday.
I sure do hope so.
A/N: So... many... in-jokes... Allow me to explain some of them to you.
-Nighteam is the server group that I'm the most active with, in TF2.
-I didn't want to make the Scout break the fourth wall down too many times, but I eventually figured out it was going to be kinda unavoidable.
-Rainbow Dash + Engineer meme = Duh! Winning!
-Did you catch the reference to Machinima's fake "Meet the Pyro" video that they put out before the real one got released? No? Go look for it again.
-Apparently, according to jkh5330, there's an unintentional reference in one of the Scout's lines to The Offspring's song "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid." I didn't realize this when I wrote it, but it's awesome anyways. So yay.
Again, I hope you enjoyed it. Leave me love in the comments section! Muwah!
