Diaries of the Smooze Research Crew

Magic books were to be found in the living spaces on the tables. Of course they were blank right now and it would take a few hours before they would be filled with content. I would need to make a request and that had to travel around an hour to reach Equestria and then it would need to be processed and matched against some papers and then those papers would need to be sent back to the magic book, so that alone probably took around 2 hours and that wasn't even counting the time I would need to formulate a request in the first place – I wouldn't want to clutter the magic books on the station with stuff we won't read only because I was too lazy to express my needs properly.

Just an outline from here on out

{Leave showers}.

"Hey Twilight, what are you up to?"

{Acknowledge Rainbow Dash}. My stomach curled into a knot.

"What are you doing here?"

"Huh?"

I wanted to argue - I just had been cheated out of my great pride. Rainbow Dash had been here before me. Of course she had to be first again, no matter how important it had been to me. As if she even cared about that particular station. She could just speed around on any other planet, show off wherever she wanted, but she needed to steal from me the biggest opportunity I would ever have. Who had allowed this to happen? How cold Luna do this to me?

"You have no idea how important this was to me, do you?"

I had intended to hiss, but the last two words where accompanied by spittle. The embarrassment added to my rage.

"You couldn't just let me have this tiny opportunity to once, only once..."

"Whoa, now just a minute! You've got this totally..."

"Yeah, of course there is some explanation why you are here first once again - I wouldn't trust myself either with a research station, because, frankly, I am no astronaut and no engineer or..."

"It's got nothing..."

"...maybe I have just shown to be too damn labile to stay up here all alone. How very nice of the Academy to prepare some company! Wouldn't have a disaster like last year..."

"Damn, shut up! It's complicated enough as it is without you making a fuss. As if I'd do this to you! Just let me explain!"

"Ha! That's an explanation I'd like to hear!"

"Well, basically, there some stuff going on with your neurons and the planet and probably you have no idea about now and what just was and... Damn, if only you could explain that stuff to yourself!"

"Yeah, that sounds very convincing. How stupid do you think I am?"

"Look, I was not here before you."

"Don't tell me you landed just after me!"

"No! I..."

"So the other option is that you're only a figment of my imagination."

I stopped. This seemed disturbingly plausible. The image of me yelling at empty air appeared in my head. Maybe I was to labile to stay on a planet all on my own, unbelievably far from the next pony or even familiar living creature.

"I am not a figment... You know what, forget it! Let's just go with that.

"I think you made some notes. Let's just go to your room and then everything will become clear."

She turned to her left, opened the door. I felt very tired and embarrassed. It must have been a while before I got my nerves together and followed.

When I spoke again my voice shivered a bit.

"I really have no idea what you're getting at."

I went after her.

Rainbow Dash wasn't in the room.

The sudden loneliness was worse than the anger. Worry crept into my head. I felt sick.

I made some shaky steps.

"Rainbow Dash?"

It seemed like her to mess with me.

"Rainbow Dash? This isn't funny!"

Then again she probably wouldn't be messing with me in a situation like this. I made my way to the locker, stopped at the table on the way to collect myself, peered inside. She wasn't in there.

I must have hurt her pretty bad just then, maybe she had been angry enough to torture me like this.

"Come on, Rainbow, I apologize! Please, come out!"

There was no answer. Of course. There was no Rainbow Dash. There couldn't be - she'd only arrive here a week after I explicitly sent a request.

We had talked about this - the team, Luna, Rainbow, the others. Everyone had agreed it was my responsibility to prepare the station, to make a schedule based on what I'd learn.

This left me with one conclusion - I was going mad.

Maybe it was the loneliness. It only had been a few hours but I knew I could become agitated easily under pressure. I was no psychologist and had no idea about neurology - maybe the subconscious knowledge about my solidarity was enough to make me conjure the images of friends? Even trained astronauts were known to crack when left alone for long enough. How would someone untrained like me react?

Another, maybe less frightening, possibility entered my mind: There may be a leak in the station and some unknown hallucinogenic substance was responsible for what I had just experienced.

My heart was beating fast. My tongue felt like a washcloth that had lain unused and unwashed for too long. There was no sense in marching into madness deliberately. I needed to calm down.

I sat down on the floor and started to breath consciously. First out, long and slow and then some more. Stop. In, slow, into the belly. Stop. Out...

My heart calmed down a bit. I went to the sink and drank.