Author's Note

This is a Padded Pony Story, and this chapter will contain the following:

• Octavia
• Nurse Tenderheart
• Diapers
• Diaper usage (Wet, medium)
• Realistic depictions of Depression and Anxiety
• Humiliating moments
• Medical Exam
• Lot's of heartfelt moments

If any of this bother's you, please do not continue.

The Appointment

Octavia sat up in her bed after another long night's rest. Vinyl still wasn't home yet from her trip to Fillydelphia, and it had been a few days. Usually Vinyl's performances were a lot like hers, one show and done, but that didn't appear to be the case. Still she couldn't help but wonder if everything was okay. She felt a squish between her legs reminding her of the protective garment she had worn to bed the night before, though she was fairly certain that she had put it on dry before bed. She pulled the covers back and it was indeed a bright yellow and almost all the patterns were faded. "I must have been more tired than I thought I was…" she said, pushing herself out of bed.

She looked at the calendar and then the clock on her nightstand. "Still have a couple hours before my appointment with Tenderheart. Plenty of time to get cleaned up," she said to herself. Without wasting any more time, she made her way into her washroom. She was getting ready to undo the tapes of her diaper when she felt a familiar twinge. She relaxed and the soft hiss echoed through the bathroom as she pushed the capacity of her garment to the limit. She didn't see the point in taking it off just to squat over the toilet. She was already wet, a bit more wasn't going to hurt.

With a sigh she made her way over to the shower and got the water running. She then undid the tapes and balled up the used garment before disposing of it. When she got into the shower, the temperature was perfect. She let the water cascade over her as she thought about the events of the past week. Today was the first day that she was going to be leaving the house since the incident. Part of her thought it was silly that she was so worried about what other ponies thought and how that might affect her, but at the same time it absolutely terrified her. Ponies can be just as hurtful and degrading as the could be supportive and caring. Was she really over thinking it, or was she right to be worried? Was it going to be worse because she hadn't left the house since then? Would that make ponies think even worse of her? She was really starting to wish Vinyl was here. She'd know how to handle this… Shoot, if Vinyl were here they wouldn't be in this mess to begin with.

It wasn't until the water started to run cold did Octavia realize how long she'd been standing there. With a sigh she used what remained of the lukewarm water to wash herself. She cursed herself for letting herself get to the point where she couldn't even take a shower correctly. She turned off the water with a disgruntled groan before stepping out and began getting ready for her appointment. Just because she felt horrible on the inside didn't mean that she had to look horrible on the outside. She did have the reputation of a prim well-kept pony to keep. Besides, her problems were her own. There wasn't any reason to try to involve anypony else with them to help. She'd figure it out eventually. She always did. She put on her signature collar and tie and took a deep breath before walking out the door.

She had to hold her hoof up to the sky for a moment to let her eyes adjust to Celestia's sun before she could see where she was going. Much to her relief most ponies were just running about their own business. Lyra however had come over from her stall with Bon Bon when she saw her step out.

"Hey Tavy!!! How was The Canterlot Garden Party? I was going to ask you about it yesterday, but you didn't answer when I knocked," Lyra commented.

That comment immediately made Octavia blush. She never heard Lyra knock yesterday, which meant that she had come that morning. "Yeah, I got home much later than I anticipated and ended up sleeping way past the time I usually wake up," Octavia replied.

"I see…" Lyra said. "Well, you're going to have to tell me all about it later. Bonnie's finishing up the last couple stand orders and then we have a delivery to Trottingham so I need to get going," she said before giving Octavia a small, friendly hug before beginning to head back to her stall. "Oh, and Tavy. Do make sure to take care of yourself as well. Equestria would be deeply saddened if something happened to one of our best musicians and friends," she finished before trotting back.

Octavia waved back to Lyra as she started to make her way to the Ponyville Clinic. "Right… take care of myself…" she said in a whisper to herself. "That's not always as easy as it sounds..." she finished with a sigh.

It didn't take too much longer until the bells of the clinic signified her arrival. She sighed once more as the distinctive aromas of the medical clinic filled her nose. Most ponies were put off by then, but she found them enjoyable. She looked at the ponies that were in the waiting room and while none of them even acknowledged her presence she could feel the judgemental eyes on her. "No Octy… everything is fine. Just act normal and everything will be fine," she said under her breath as she approached the counter.

"Welcome to the Ponyville Medical Clinic," the tech behind the counter started. "Oh Miss Melody! Nurse Tenderheart is expecting you. Just got a few forms for you to sign and you can head on in,” she smiled, setting the forms on the table for her.

“Really? But what about everypony else here?” Octavia asked.

“Most of them are here to see other doctors.” the tech replied.

“Right, sorry,” Octavia said before signing the forms and heading through the small halfdoor that was opened for her to go in.

She was led into the exam room and a mint green mare was waiting for her. She took her vital signs and jotted everything down before telling her that Tenderhoof would be with her in a moment. Octavia would spend her time in the room looking at all of the plaques on the wall and the different diseases and conditions that ponies should know the warning signs of. There was an assortment of them, but her eyes fell on one. The one that said Know the signs of Depression. “I know most of those all too well…” she said as she heard the door open.

“Good afterno-ooon!” the sky blue earth pony said as she came into the exam room.

“Good afternoon to you as well, Tenderheart. How are you doing today?” she said standing up to give the nurse a brief hug.

“I’m doing great! A bit slow, but otherwise pretty okay. How’s my favorite musician doing? Has it really been a year already?” Tenderheart asked in disbelief.

“I know right? Time just flies by when you’re performing a lot,” Octavia replied with a smile that was a bit more genuine than the one that she was wearing when she had entered the office.

“It does! I can’t wait until I’m able to go to your next one! Your music is always so sweet and serene. I just can’t get enough of it!” the nurse replied.

“You have no idea how much those words mean to me,” Octavia finished.

“Alrighty, all of your vitals look good, so let us begin,” Nurse Tenderheart said as she started to administer the exam. She would start by testing Octavia’s eyes and reactions before moving to physical reactions and reflexes. “Everything’s looking good so far,” she commented. She then moved her stethoscope up into her ears and began to listen to Octavia's chest. “Your heart sounds good,” she said checking things off of the medical list, and off of her own mental list as well that she was keeping track of. “Now for your lungs,” she said, moving the stethoscope. “Alright, breathe in and hold…” she instructed. “And release…” she continued, moving the scope another time. “And in… and release,” she added before moving to Octavia’s back and repeating the commands. Nothing of note or concern there either… Tenderheart thought to herself.

Truthfully she was hoping that she could try to pinpoint an issue to which she might need the package that she had seen by her front door a few mornings ago without having to ask and embarrass the poor mare. If she couldn’t get any ideas though… She was afraid she was going to have some tough questions before the end of the exam. “Alright, I need you to lie on your back for me, so I can get a feel for your shoulders and your spine. X-ray has been backed up all week so I can expedite it by getting a feel of your general structure. If nothing is showing any extra pressure, out of alignment, or exhibiting any pain then we can skip the x-ray all together,” Tenderheart explained.

Octavia nodded and she rolled to her stomach. She felt Tenderheart’s hooves begin to move along her shoulders and knead into them. Judging from this, Tenderheart could have very easily been a masseur of sorts. Tenderheart moved from one shoulder over to the next tracing her shoulder blade and her collarbone a bit, making the mare shiver. She then started pressing in intervals down her spine, checking for tension and any spots that light pressure might prove to be painful. Satisfied with her results she stepped back from the grey earth pony. “Good news, I feel I have enough data that we can skip the x-ray. I wasn’t able to detect any abnormalities within your spine or main skeletal structure sooo we’re good!” Tenderheart said with a smile.

“Unfortunately that means it’s time for the more uncomfortable part of the exam… Roll to your back please?”

“Do we have to do this part? It’s so embarrassing…” Octavia asked, blushing a bit.

“Tavy, you ask me this every year, and every year I give the same answer... “

“We’re both mares and it’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” Octavia said with her.

“Exactly, and if it means we can catch early stage polyps and unusual growths we can treat them sooner and not have them turn into possibly more serious,” she said as Octavia sighed and relented. “I’ll make this as quick as I can,” she said as she went to work on the mare. Overall she was highly satisfied with Octavia’s health, and it appeared that she took good care of herself for the most part. Which only further fueled the nagging questions in the back of her mind. “Everything appears to be in order,” she said, setting the soiled instruments aside for them to be disinfected. “See, that wasn’t so bad now was it?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it exciting,” Octavia countered.

“Of course not dear, I’m your doctor not your lover,” she said with a small laugh getting a glare from the grey pony.

“You know what I mean, Tender!” she said, her face turning redder by the minute. She then saw Tenderheart make sure that the door was locked and stepped on some sort of magical charm. From what she could tell it looked like it sealed the door and then a minty green aura. She then saw a look on Tenderheart’s face that she wasn’t expecting to see. She had that look like she was about to give somepony some very bad news and kept biting her lip. Octavia was growing more confused by the moment. Hadn’t Tenderheart just said that she was in good health? Why did she look like she was about to tell her she was going to die in six months?

“Tavy… You know you can come to me with anything right?” Tenderheart started. Her voice wasn’t quite as firm as it was a few moments ago though as she was still trying to make up her mind whether this was a good idea or not. Octavia hadn’t mentioned it, so it wasn’t an issue… but at the same time… what kind of doctor would she be if she didn’t at least make sure there wasn’t anything hidden going on in her body? Something that would take more than an hour or two to detect.

“Of course Tenderheart! I trust you with my life! Quite literally in this instance… Besides, I wouldn’t let a pony I didn’t trust get anywhere near those parts of me, much less with access to a bunch of surgical equipment,” Octavia replied, making both of them chuckle a bit. Then Tenderheart’s face went back to the worried look as she rubbed one hoof across the other.

“So… you don’t have any outlying symptoms or anything that you feel you might need to tell me about? Nothing at all?”

Octavia just kind of gave Tenderheart a blank look for a moment before shaking her head. “Not that I can think of. Everything has been pretty okay for the most part. I mean, There are times when I’ve been feeling a bit lonelier than normal, but that’s about it… Why do you ask?” she asked the nurse pony.

“Well… you see…” Tenderheart started before taking a deep breath. “Alright… there’s no easy way to say this without it being awkward so I’m just going to come out and say it. I saw that package the other day, and I know that was your cutie mark on the box…” Tenderheart said, pausing as she waited for a reply.

Octavia meanwhile had felt all the blood drain from her as she heard the words that Tenderheart spoke… Oh nononono… not her of all ponies… she probably thinks I’m some kind of freak now… she thought to herself as she could feel her emotions starting to well up again. She couldn’t bring herself to even look at the pony in front of her.

“Tavy…?”

“Well! What are you waiting for!? Lay it on me already!?” Octavia burst out making Tenderheart step back a bit.

“Lay what on you? What are you talking about?”

“That I’m freak! And now because I overslept everypony in town knows I’m a freak! And now you and everypony else are going to laugh at me for eternity, and I’m never going to.” she said as she felt herself get embraced into a tight, warm hug.

“Tavy, I would never say any of those things about you and I’m sure as Celestia going to make fun of you…”

“Then why would you even bring it up!?” Octavia yelled, pushing Tenderheart away.

“Because I’m your doctor Tavy. Do you know how many severe medical conditions have incontinence as a side effect!? A part of me wanted to check on you that very morning when I saw it and make sure everything was okay then!”

“Well I can very much assure you that I am fully capable of…”

“Then why? I promise that you can trust me to be not only polite and professional, but caring as well,” she said, putting a hoof on her shoulder. “I worry about you Tavy. A lot of ponies worry about you. More than you realize. So… Do you wanna tell me what is going on then?”

Octavia wasn’t sure what to feel right now. Right now at this point in time… she felt betrayed… Her own doctor had just exposed her secret to the world… Well… okay… maybe not to the world… she didn’t need to be a unicorn to know that flash was likely an aura of silence on the room. Plus, it was only herself and the nurse in the room anyway, and to top it off… it wasn’t Tenderheart’s fault at all. How could she blame Tenderheart for a mistake that she made? Here she was trying to make sure she was okay, and she as Celestia nearly bit her head off… She began to calm down a bit and took a deep breath.

“Alright… but nothing I say leaves this room.”

“Of course Tavy… Even if I was that kind of mare, I’m bound by doctor-patient confidentiality. Everything you’re about to say is safe with me, and I will not judge you in the slightest,” Tenderheart replied.

“Okay, so… everything kind of started several years ago. Now that I think about it, it wasn’t too long after Vinyl and I became a couple and we started living together. Not that I ever regret that decision… on the opposite. The life of one musician is hard enough to juggle. Everypony has all of these lofty expectations of you, and all it takes is one little setback,” she said before motioning to the door. “Like not paying for discreet shipping and over-sleeping for a few hours. To make everything come crashing down. Ponies don’t see the hard behind the scenes work we do. The traveling, the set up, the ponies that it takes to make every show possible. They only see... the show.” Octavia said gesturing with her hoof before putting it back down.

“Everypony always expects me to be perfect. When I walk in for rehearsals, I’m the one that the conductors look to for things to get done right on the first pass. I’m the one that’s expected to help others learn their parts and play them in time. I’m the one that’s required to stay late if things aren’t done correctly, and even if it’s a grand performance, I’m still the one that gets blamed for the little mistakes because I ‘obviously didn’t work hard enough with the others’. I guess over time that just started eating at me. I would look forward to coming home to Vinyl, but she could sense that something was wrong… much like you did… and Vinyl showed me something. Something she did to take her mind off of all the problems that she was facing and just let herself relax,” Octavia continued before placing her hooves over her mouth from the implications of what she said… “Please… don’t tell Vinyl I said anything… I don’t want her to get upset with me… at least any more than what she’s already going to be from the mess I’ve made of things…”
“Not a word…” Tenderheart replied. She was going to say more but she didn’t want to interrupt too much until Octavia finished.

“I wasn’t sure what to expect at first, and I was… probably about as shocked as you were when you saw my package when I saw Vinyl come out of the bathroom wearing a diaper. I didn’t even know that she had them at the time! Naturally I was curious about it… and honestly asked a lot of the same questions that you asked me, come to think of it. But she said she only did it to help her relax and take her mind off things. Eventually she talked me into trying it with her, and the first time I tried a diaper on… it felt… well there really aren’t enough words to describe it. Safe, secure, warm, cozy, and surprisingly comfortable, and using them felt even better,” she said, blushing a bit from the soft smirk that graced Tenderheart’s face. “Hey! You said no laughing.”

“I’m not, I’m not! I just find that bit really, really cute. Please, continue,” Tenderheart replied.

Octavia nodded. “After that night, it became something that Vinyl and I would start doing to destress after shows. We would make sure that we got some of our favorite foods the night before... enough vegetables and stock to make a delicious vegetable soup and Vinyl loves it when I make noodles in the broth, and then we would spend the entire next couple days in our padded relaxation time, taking care of each other and showing each other unfiltered love and attention. Lately though, we’ve been getting pulled further and further apart. And things have been feeling lonelier and lonelier to where I’ve been wearing them a lot more as a way to help cope with it,” she said with a pause.

“There’s also been mornings where it’s been hard to get any sort of drive to get up and move around, but I know I have to because others depend on me to do so. So I try to put a mask on so that no pony else can tell that I’m hurting, and sometimes… like the other day after I discovered that I’d left that clearly labeled package of diapers by my door for four hours… that shell will break and I will just cry and start berating myself for my own stupidity. Then adding to it that I burned myself doing something so simple as making soup, I had a second break down in the kitchen, and then last night for the first time since I was a filly, I apparently had several accidents overnight, because I remember the diaper I put on last night was dry, but when I woke up this morning… it was almost leaking…”

“Tavy… Why haven’t you told me about this? About any of this? I could have helped you!”

“Well, last night was a one time thing… and I thought it might have just been because of how exhausted I was and it was everything from the entire series of events catching up with me. That probably would have been something I came to you about in the future if it was something that started happening on a regular basis. Like you said… there’s a lot of bad things with that side effect.”

“That’s true… but Tavy everything that you just told me are all symptoms of acute depression!”

“I am well aware… and… that was why I was ordering more… We were out, and I was just coming off a soiree at a charity event for the princess followed up with just enough time to get prepared for the Canterlot Garden Party. I was planning on spending a long week with Vinyl but when I got home on Sunday night, she’d been called to Fillydelphia and she still hasn’t been back yet…”

“Now now, I’m sure everything is going to work itself out. But what you’re going through you are not going to be able to get through on your own. There are a lot of ailments that you might be able to get by with handling on your own. Depression is not usually one of them. Have you thought about antidepressants?”

Octavia immediately shook her head. “I know many performers that used antidepressants ended up worse off with them than they were without. It might be a bit unconventional… but diapers are more comfortable and way less dangerous. I don’t have to worry about any potentially lethal side-effects of wetting myself…” she said, unable to help her blush when she said the last phrase.

“I definitely understand where you’re coming from and I’m not going to pressure you into doing anything. However, if you get to a point where you feel this method is no longer working for you… come back and see me and we’ll work something out. And don’t be afraid to lean on your friends. They all care about you and they aren’t going to care if you decide to wear a bit of padding around your flank now and again so long as they get to keep having their friend,” Tenderheart replied.

“Thank you Tenderheart… I… I actually already feel a whole lot better just getting to talk about it… I’ve been holding everything in for so long because I always felt I never had a choice.”

“We all have a choice, Tavy, and that includes you. Don’t be afraid to be who you are. Not what everypony else wants you to be. Now, just to be on the safe side, and to calm my own nerves on the matter, I want you to come back in a week to get some bloodwork done and to let me get a few urine samples. Especially since you’ve mentioned already having at least one legitimate accident I still want to make sure that there isn’t anything else going on. I’m also going to up your scheduled visits from yearly to quarterly. Depression isn’t something to be taken lightly,” Tenderheart said as she turned the door handle, thus unlocking the door and canceling the silencing aura.

“Alright. I hate needles, but I suppose if it needs to be done, I’ll be here,” she said as she stood up and started making her way towards the door. “And Tenderheart?”

“Yes Tavy?”

“Thank you, for making me do that… I… I didn’t know how much I really needed that,” Octavia said with the first genuine smile she’s had in public in a while.

“Any time dear. That’s what I’m here for. Take care of yourself, and I’ll see you next week,” Tenderheart said returning a smile of her own before she departed to take care of the file.

The bells of the clinic went off once again as Octavia departed having set up the appointments that Tenderheart wanted her to set up and she looked up to see the sun still in the sky by definitely farther west than it was. “Well, that took longer than expected, but… I actually feel pretty okay with that,” she said to herself before starting the walk home.