Chapters The Trouble With Time Travel
Chapter 1: A "Second Chance"
The original Space Battles thread where this story is updated, and commentary is posted.
Chapter One: A Second Chance
“That is the exploration that awaits you—not mapping stars and studying nebulae, but charting the unknown possibilities of existence.” –Q, Star Trek: The Next Generation
To say that Twilight Sparkle is an impatient mare wouldn’t be accurate. In the thirty years that she had been the bearer of the Element of Magic, she had gotten used to crisis management. From mundane problems such as the annual Winter Wrap Up to the more fantastic problems of dealing with fully grown dragons, even the disaster that was known as ‘Ambassador Rainbow Dash’ wasn’t very far outside of her considerable abilities.
It had come at a cost, though. The more the Elements of Harmony did, the more that they were expected to do. As the group’s fame grew more and more ponies, and even a few non-pony species, asked for their help on a regular basis. Their unique powers were called upon to win the day more and more often, and instead of aging the magic they drew upon made the six friends grow larger and become more regal and majestic in the eyes of the common pony. There were only two other beings in recorded history who grew quite the same way Twilight and her friends were, a fact which made them all uneasy in some way.
In truth it was embarrassing. Twilight Sparkle didn’t want to be revered like the princesses. It was natural to want to be respected for her talents, but the near and sometimes actual worship she received was a bit much. She wasn’t the only one. Rumors were flying like crazy, all of them to the effect of either replacing the Princesses altogether or taking on important positions of leadership. Even if they did not have formal titles outside of their professional ones, for better or for worst the Elements of Harmony were effectively nobility.
Walking through the library that was her home, reorganizing the books that were used by the students of the university that she nominally ran, Twilight found her heart longing. She just wanted some time to enjoy the company of her friends instead of putting out seemingly every proverbial fire. In many was she just wanted to go back to simpler times, like when she just entered Ponyville to check on the Summer Sun Festival for Princess Celestia.
“Easily arranged, my diminutive sentient equine!” a jovial voice declared.
Twilight sighed as she heard the announcement. “And there goes my evening.”
The draconequus slid closer to her, before beginning his over the top theatrics. “Come now, Twilight Sparkle. You wound me! Am I truly that dull, that trite, that I am nothing but an annoyance?”
“In a word, yes,” Twilight said, shelving the advanced agricultural books that Equestria A&M University lent to her library. “You’re really kind of predictable for someone who masquerades as our Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos.”
“And how exactly do you know I’m not the genuine article?” the draconequus asked.
“Because I keep the real one mounted over there,” Twilight responded, pointing to the statue of the vanquished foe standing beside the doorframe. Hanging from Discords horns were a couple of hats, and a sign helpfully proclaiming that quiet areas were on the second and third floors was sized and positioned to be held by his innate stone hands.
“How uniquely brutal,” the draconequus said, appreciatively stroking his beard. “Do you always use the petrified shells of your vanquished foes as tacky ornaments?”
“Not always. He’s actually a time share,” Twilight stated in a casual manner. “It’s a Monday, so you’re not going to cause havoc. And you’re not even making a serious attempt to impersonate Discord. So why are you here?”
“Come now, Twilight Sparkle. You don’t always have to treat me like a stray cat. Today’s a day of celebration! Of joy and merrymaking! Today my child turns five days old!”
“Congratulations then,” Twilight said absentmindedly, before the full weight of statement hit her. “Wait. You have a child?”
“Of course! Producing young was the only way I could end that nasty civil war. If only more conflicts could be solved that way.”
Twilight shook her head. “I don’t even want to know.”
The impersonator rolled his eyes. “Come now, its good news! No bursts of dreadful gamma radiation to cause the mass extinction of all life in this lovely parsec. A shame you don’t understand the concept of ‘radiation’ fully, although I am impressed by your efforts not to invent ‘dying by radiation poisoning’.”
"Well, the statement still stands. Congratulations on ending your war and becoming a parent. Does that mean you’ll be leaving us alone now, Mr. …?” Twilight asked.
“Oh, I’m feeling whimsical today. Call me John. And this is my adorable little rascal, Keegan.” The draconequus said, snapping his fingers. In a brilliant flash of white another draconequus appeared. This one, presumably Keegan, was almost exactly like John in miniature. “Say hello to your future tutor, Keegan.”
The little draconequus pointed at Twilight instead. “She’s a NEEERRRRRD!”
“Now Keegan, what have I told you about telling mortals the truth?” John admonished, causing Twilight to roll her eyes. “Do forgive him, Twilight Sparkle. He was born fully conscious and with all his powers, but he still has the mind of a child. In fact, it’s been such a wonderful thing. Look!”
With another snap, a small planet appeared, floating above John’s right hand. “His first planet,” John said, voice full of pride. “He’s made such wonderful pieces of art with the part of cosmos that he plays in, but this thing, right here, will always have a special place in my heart.”
Twilight was taken aback by how casually John referred to the creation of an entire world, in the same way a parent might refer to a special drawing. This sense of bafflement grew when a small, metallic speck of dust flew away of it. “And he’s master changing the cosmological constants too! His people are developing unmanned space travel.”
“What… are you?” Twilight asked. John smiled.
“Why, isn’t it obvious? We’re omnipotent beings, greater than the petty gods you venerate and fear by many orders of magnitude. And because I’m feeling so generous from my son’s accomplishments, you finally get to have your time off.”
“Now wait just a minute!” Twilight began. Unfortunately, she wasn’t given a choice in the matter, for all it took was the snap of fingers to send her back to a simpler time.
* * *
Twilight Sparkle blinked her eyes, dots seeming to still be flying around from her brief transport. It was like her teleportation spell, only of a greater magnitude. The strangest part was that she did not feel any of the world’s innate magic in the spell. It was as though this John being could change how the universe works on a whim, on a level not even Celestia or Luna could replicate and with much greater technical finesse.
‘That was probably the point. Demonstrate how he could lord over me,’ she thought, shivering.
Her attention was quickly diverted to her surroundings. She was in Canterlot, not a very difficult jump to make. Things were different, though. Everything was both smaller and bigger, brighter and yet more dull. It was as though she were reliving a memory of times past.
She looked around. The park was familiar, and one of her regrets in becoming famous was that she couldn’t just be anypony in the crowd without an admirer doing something either sweet but (by now) annoying, professing their admiration in the same way she would if she met Dr. Neil deGrass Tyson as a young mare or doing something was either creepy or outright illegal. Yet the three skyscrapers that had been built to accommodate Equestria’s nascent export industry were gone. She couldn’t see it directly, but she felt less magic in the air as well.
Finally, looking down, she saw a familiar book on Pony mythology. The page was turned to Nightmare Moon’s exile. The pieces fell together, causing her to sigh.
“It must be a Tuesday,” she muttered to herself. “I could never get the hang of Tuesdays.”
She threw her book into the saddle bag and walked to the river. She leaned over the edge of the bank to see her reflection in the river. Looking back at her was herself in her late teenage years, just before she went to Ponyville for the first time.
“Definitely a Tuesday,” she said, nodding to herself. “Probably a game of some kind, knowing the sort of guy John is. I just figure out a way to win it to his amusement, and then I’ll be back home in an embarrassing pose just like the last three times this has happened.”
“Well there you are Twilight Sparkle,” said a mare on the bridge. “Moondancer is having a little get together this evening. You want to come?”
Twilight smiled at them. It was a trio of ponies on the bridge, each one of them laden with gifts to the birthday party that somepony named Moondancer was having. She didn’t remember these ponies at all, but this part always played out for some reason.
“I’m sorry girls,” Twilight said. “I should have remembered. But the Summer Sun Celebration is coming up and I’ll have to leave soon to check on the preparations.”
“Oh! Well, if it’s for the Princess then I’m sure everypony will understand. Isn’t that right?” the leading mare asked. The other two nodded.
“I wish I had more time,” Twilight said. “It seems all I do is study and run errands. I need to make more time for my friends.”
“There’ll be other parties,” the white mare said. “As long as you aren’t blowing us off...”
“I wouldn’t do it intentionally,” Twilight said. “But I really need to get going. See you later?”
“Sure,” the mare said, as Twilight cantered off. A simple spell could have been used in order to hear what the mares were saying as she was leaving, but Twilight didn’t bother to cast it. These things happened decades ago from her frame of refrence, and she had moved on with her life.
“Now, let me see,” Twilight said to herself as she walked down the road. “John is probably not going to let me off easy, it doesn’t seem his style. I’m here right before Nightmare Moon manifests herself. I could play things straight through and try to avoid altering the timeline, but the timeline probably doesn’t exist. What to do, what to do... Hey Lyra.”
“Hi Twilight!” Lyra replied, grinning happily. “Going to the party?”
“I can’t right now. Planning to be at the Summer Sun Celebration?” Twilight asked.
“You betcha! See you then?”
“Sure. Say hi to Bonbon for me,” Twilight said, walking on in the direction of the castle.
As the lavender pony past them, Lyra’s walking companion looked over to her. “Who the hay is Bonbon?” she asked.
“No idea,” Lyra replied, shrugging. “She’s always been a strange filly. But then again magic students are like that, and she means well. So, about that commission… I was thinking maybe a Vulcan with darker skin…”
Twilight quickly turned off the spell, focusing straight ahead and blushing slightly. Lyra had always been a strange mare, but she meant well. What Lyra did with her spare bits in her spare time was her own business.
Soon enough she was at the tower that was once her home. She carefully opened the door, and sure enough a younger Spike was skittering past to try and avoid it.
‘He’s so small,’ Twilight thought to herself.
“Umm… you okay Twilight?” Spike asked, a present in his reptilian hands. “You’re looking at me all weird.”
“Oh, sorry Spike,” Twilight said as she gathered her thoughts and walked through the library. “I guess I’m feeling… oh, I don’t know how to describe it.”
“Ill?” Spike asked.
“No, I’m pretty sure I’m okay.” Twilight said. “It’s… hard to explain. A lot of big things are about to happen.”
“Well duh, the Summer Sun Celebration is happening soon,” Spike said.
“I know but… how do I explain?” Twilight said. “Okay, it’s going to sound crazy.”
“Go for it,” Spike said, genuinely curious.
“Well, I have good reason to be believe that the story of the Mare in the Moon is based on truth,” Twilight said, walking to a shelf. “And that she is really Nightmare Moon. I also have good reason to believe…”
Twilight stopped, a shiver running down her spine.
“What happened?” Spike asked.
“I don’t know,” Twilight replied. She walked up to the large hour glass in the center of the library, unsure of what she felt from it. “It was like there’s something, just at the corner of my eye…”
As she stared at the hour glass Spike began feeling uneasy. “Are you feeling okay, Twilight?”
“I’m feeling perfectly fine,” Twilight said, before pulling the book and setting it on the stand. “Mare in the Moon… Mare in the Moon… under M… Aha!
“The Mare in the Moon, myth from old pony times. A powerful pony who wanted to rule Equestria. Defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned on the Moon. Ledged has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year the stars will aid on her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal. ”
“Okay, so there’s a myth that’s in a book,” Spike said. “But you’re the one who told that while every myth is based on truth, no myth is absolutely true. And a thousand years sounds too neat.”
“It would under normal circumstances,” Twilight said. “Some prophecies are only for a ballpark range of time, or a certain set of decisions that may or may not happen. Free will hampers the effects of predicting what anyone would do with great accuracy.
“But prophecies are very good for things that are set to happen but can’t be controlled. Volcanoes and earthquakes, for example. For magic this is especially true, since certain numbers have special properties in different places, and some are universally special. Significant events happen in threes, lucky primes can mean good tidings or bad, so on and so forth.
“Some numbers are culturally specific, though. That’s how eight and 108 are lucky numbers in Neighpon, but not in Equestria. We use a base ten counting system, so a thousand years for something that is specifically magical isn’t outside of the realm of possibility.”
Spike looked confused. “Base ten? Lucky primes?”
Twilight sighed. “Right. You haven’t gotten that far in math yet.”
“Some numbers are lucky, some numbers are special,” Spike said, earning a surprised look from Twilight. “I’m not dumb, Twilight. But you’re still talking about an old pony’s tale.”
“I know, and that’s why nopony is going to take me at my word even though I’m absolutely serious. I’ll show you,” she said, before grabbing a piece of parchment and handing to Spike. “Take a note, please. To the Princess.”
“My dearest teacher,
“My continuing studies of pony magic has lead me to discover that we are on the precipice of disaster. ”
“Hold on,” Spike said. “Preci… Prece…”
“Threshhold,” Twilight corrected.
“Eeaahh…”
“Brink?”
Spike gave her a befuddled look.
“We live in a library, Spike,” Twilight deadpanned. “You catalogue books.”
“Well yeah. But just because I know the Dewdrop decimal system doesn’t mean I eat dictionaries,” Spike responded defensively.
“Then what about when you ate…”
“I was four!”
“It was an expensive volume. It had the modern language, all known words of Burguete and Kathiawari, Zebra…”
“It was covered in diamonds! I was hungry!” Spike said angrily. “Can we get back to writing the Princess a letter? Please?”
“Alright,” Twilight said, “Where were we?”
“Something about disaster,” Spike helpfully stated.
“Right. We are on the brink… ‘B-R-I-N-K’… of disaster. I have firm evidence that the mythical Mare in the Moon is in fact Nightmare Moon, and that she is about to return to Equestria and bring with her eternal night. Although it is a foregone conclusion that this letter will be ignored, something must be done to ensure that this terrible prophecy must not come true. I await your quick response.
“Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. ”
“Twi-light… Spar-kle!” Spike said to himself, as he finished transcribing the words.
“Great! Now send it to her,” Twilight requested.
“Now?” Spike asked.
“Of course!” Twilight replied.
“I don’t know, Twilight,” Spike said. “Princess Celestia is really busy getting ready for the Summer Sun Celebration. And that part about ‘forgone conclusion’ sounds a little angry. Besides, you said a thousand years, right? That doesn’t mean this year, does it?”
“That’s just it, Spike. The day after tomorrow will be the thousandth year of the Summer Sun Celebration!” Twilight exclaimed. “That’s why it’s imperative that the princess must at least be told of what’s going on.”
Spike looked down at the scroll. “Impera…”
“IMPORTANT!” Twilight yelled, surprising Spike and causing him to stumble backwards into a bookshelf.
“Okay, okay. Geez,” Spike said, before rolling up the parchment. With a breath of dragon fire the parchment evaporated into so much fine dust, being sent to where Princess Celestia was at the moment. “It’s on its way. But I wouldn’t hold your breath.”
“I know,” Twilight said, sounding all too tired for somepony her apparent age. She walked over a window, looking down at the parts of Equestria and Canterlot visible from the tower. The land was green, yellow, full of trees and crops and untouched by any sort of disaster. It was as though the entire nation was a well maintained garden, carefully watered and pruned and planted, without any touch of strife and burden.
A simpler time.
“Spike, I know I don’t say this enough, but no matter what happens… I really appreciate you.” Twilight knew it was probably meaningless, with this Spike being an illusion or hallucination, but it still felt like something that needed to be said.
“You make it sound like something really bad is going to happen,” Spike said, a touch of concern in his voice. “You’re starting to scare me, Twilight. This isn’t like you.”
Spike then burped, producing a letter. Twilight stared out at the landscape as he read it.
“My dearest and most faithful student Twilight,
You know that I appreciate your diligence and that I trust you completely. But you simply must stop reading those dusty old books.
My dear Twilight, there is more to a pony’s life then just studying. I fear that by doing nothing but studying you’re isolating yourself at such a critical age, an oversight that I feel obligated to correct. It also sounds as though you probably need a break.
So I am sending you to supervise the preparations of this year’s Summer Sun Celebration in this year’s location, Ponyville. And I have an even more essential task for you to complete: Make some friends.
Your mentor,
Princess Celestia ”
Twilight sighed. “See, what did I tell you? A forgone conclusion.”
“Twilight,” Spike began, his concern obvious in his voice. She then turned around, giving him a smile.
“The Princess is right,” Twilight said, “I need a break. Going to Ponyville may be just the thing I need.”
“That’s the spirit!” Spike exclaimed. “So, do you know any good places to eat?”
“I know a few places,” Twilight said confidently. She then caught herself, realizing that she wasn’t supposed to know that yet. Spike didn’t seem to catch on, too busy talking excitedly about the trip in the way only a child could.
Twilight hoped that she could play the part of ‘Princess Celestia's faithful student’ long enough to pass whatever test was being given to her.
The Trouble With Time Travel
Chapter 2: Apple Pie
The magical land of Equestria passed underneath the golden flying chariot. The two pegasus who flew and pulled said chariot were members of the royal guard, and thus solely focused on ensuring that chariot’s passengers had a safe and discreet trip. For the most part this also meant that said passengers could more fully enjoy their trip.
Twilight was glad that she was having the chance to relive this particular experience. Whenever she replayed the Nightmare Moon incident, it always began either during Nightmare Moon’s arrival or while they were in the Everfree Forest. The beings who caused these had a fairly strict mode of operation with obvious goals, although they were apparently coordinated enough to ensure that the crisis always began on a Tuesday.
Tuesday, being the third day of the week in the Standard Equestrian Calendar, was always a significant day to Twilight. This is especially true of the third Tuesday of the month. Even moreso when that third Tuesday happened during March. And Celestia help her if that Tuesday was the 21st.
Twilight could never get the hang of Tuesdays.
She wasn’t brooding, though. She was mature enough not to do that. Instead she looked over the landscape, appreciating the view more fully as they flew from Canterlot to Ponyville. It would only be a short while until they reached what she lovingly called ‘the free range insane asylum’.
Twilight’s plan was simplicity itself. Go to Ponyville. Make friends. Have a party. Then embrace the crazy and kick flank in an entertaining way ‘slapstick comedy episode of the week’ sort of way. She kind of needed to fill in the details, but works in progress seemed to work better than actual, rational plans and organization on Tuesdays.
‘Heh, not even there and I’m already thinking like I’m in Ponyville,’ Twilight thought to herself.
“So what do you think Ponyville will be like?” Spike asked, breaking Twilight’s train of thought as he looked over the sides of the carrage in wonder.
“Oh, I’m pretty sure it’ll be like every small town,” Twilight replied. “Brightly colored pastel houses. A restruant, a library, a school. Maybe something like a dressmaker’s shop if enough ponies feel the need to buy something nice.”
“Well that’s boring,” Spike said, before smiling at Twilight. “But I’m betting the ponies there will be nice. Maybe they’ll have all sorts of stories.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” Twilight said, leaning closer as though sharing a secret. “I’m betting there’s a big secret there, though.”
“Really?” Spike asked, curious.
“Oh yes. The apple baron who controls the lifeblood of the town with an iron hoof. The fashion model trying to get away from it all. The obsessive compulsive unicorn, always three steps away from snapping and close to being tardied on an assignment. The premadona dressmaker has figured out a way to get her fifteen minutes of fame. Did you eat the cupcakes? The baker’s always keen on ‘special ingredients’. All that we truly know is that there’s a dead pony in the ballroom, that there’s a candlestick, and that somepony in the house is a murderer.”
Spike looked at Twilight, dumbfounded by all the suggestions. Then he started to crack up. Then it became a full on fit of laughter that he couldn’t control. “You actually read that book,” he managed to asked when he calmed down, smile plastered on his face. “I mean, the board game is great, but the novel and the movie are really cheesy.”
“They are charmingly cheesy pieces of art that nopony properly appreciates,” Twilight said mock seriously, before grinning. “So, who done it?”
“Hmm… must be the weather-pony,” Spike stated sagely. “It’s always the weather-pony.”
The chariot landed, the guard pegusi cantering before coming to a stop. The purple unicorn mare and the purple baby dragon hopped off the chariot, and Twilight took the time to put on a set of saddle bags. As they began walking down Ponyville’s Mane Street Twilight gave the two soldiers a nod of respect. “Thank you, gentlecolts.”
“Well, let’s get to work,” Twilight said. “Where are we staying, Spike?”
“Oh, you’ll love this,” Spike said. “Princess Celestia has arranged for us to stay in the library.”
“Well that’ll be nice,” Twilight said, not quite working up the enthusiasm.
“You okay Twilight?” Spike asked, concern in his voice.
“You keep asking me that question,” Twilight replied.
“Well, one moment you’re happy and fun to be around, and then the next you’re depressed and waiting for something to happen,” Spike said.
Twilight sighed. “I’m sorry Spike. I guess I do feel a little bit off. Maybe this break will be a good thing. I mean, I’m sure that we’ll find some friendly, interesting ponies, right?”
Twilight turned her head from her assistant to a lot of pink.
Time seemed to slow down. Twilight knew Pinky Pie well enough to see the signs. First there was the surprise. Then there was the surprise . Her face was twisting into an almost comical expression of shock. Soon she would run away with one purpose in mind: Party.
Twilight took her normal preventative measures. In the blink of an eye a cupcake seemingly appeared from nowhere, shoved into the pink mare’s mouth by her own hoof. The surprise transformed into an expression of uncomprehending shock, as Pinkie Pie simply didn’t know anypony who could that.
Time seemed to speed up once more. Twilight noticed that all the ponies on Mane Street looked at her with the same shock as Pinky Pie. For Twilight had done something that no mare had ever done before: stopped her from starting work on a party.
“Hey Lyra,” Twilight said casually at the mare sitting unusually on a park bench.
“Umm… hi Twilight…” Lyra responded hesitantly, aware now of the eyes going from the scene before the pony audience to her.
“Quick question, if you don’t mind. How do you get to everywhere so quickly?” Twilight asked.
“… I walk?”
“Of course you do,” Twilight replied, before the pink mare looked at her in wonderment.
“Who are you?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“A friend you’ve already met,” Twilight responded with a smile. “And right now, I want a party.”
“A party?” Pinkie Pie asked, her eyes lighting up.
“A big one. A party fit for not just one Princess, but two!” Twilight replied. Already the little gears in her head were turning very quickly, using past experience with Pinky Pie’s celebrations to fit into the plan. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, and I’m checking on the progress for the Summer Sun Celebration. Princess Celestia is coming here personally for the festivities, and she’ll be bringing a very special guest.”
Pinky Pie looked at her skeptically. “Well that didn’t sound at all happy,” Pinkie Pie said, seeing through Twilight’s façade with the purple mare’s slight change of tone. “It sounds like the special guest is an itchy twitchy rhymes with witchy sort of pony. What sort of party do you really need.”
“The works,” Twilight responded in a matter of fact way. “Nothing held back.”
Pinkie Pie seemed to inhale deeply, before bouncing up and down with a manic grin all over her face. “Ohmyfaustit’sreallyyouititreallyis! My Pinkie Sense went crazy and it felt like I was going to jump all the way down to the center of the Earth, which is silly because everypony knows jumping makes you go up not down, and then I realized I’m going to meet somepony who’ll ask for the biggest bestest party of all time and space forever but everypony knows that the bestest best parties are outside the Milky Way (stupid omnipotent sourpusses) but that doesn’t mean that I can’t try and now you’re here and now I can! Try! PARTY!”
“Umm… that’s great Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said, already getting overwhelmed by the excitable mare. She needed a way out quick. “But shouldn’t you be at Sugar Cube Corner helping the Cakes?”
Pikie Pie gasped. “Oh my gosh you’re right! I left the oven on!” She then broke out in a run. “I’m coming to save you my cupcakes!”
“Umm… Twilight? Do you know her?” Spike asked.
“I’m never sure,” Twilight replied, watching the pink mare run away. “What’s first on the checklist?”
Spike pulled out a piece of parchment, looking down at the list. “Check food preparations at Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Let’s go meet the owners, then,” Twilight replied, as the two made their way to the largest farm in Ponyville. Slowly all the other ponies went back to their previous business, trusting the strange purple mare with a baby dragon to know what she was doing since she handled Pinkie Pie so well.
They had no idea how misplaced their trust would be.
* * *
“Well, here we are!” Spike exclaimed. “Sweet Apple Acres.”
“I can’t say it’s exactly how I imagined it,” Twilight responded.
It truly wasn’t how she remembered it. Sure, the trees were still there, arranged like have been for generations. The same welcoming gate was there. The sign that said ‘All visitors welcomed, as long as they check in’ wasn’t what she remembered, however. Neither was the line of unconnected fence posts, the top half of which were painted purple. For some reason that detail irked Twilight enough to make her ponder it, although she couldn’t really say why.
Then, out of nowhere, Applejack.
“Well howdy-do there partner, and welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!” the enthusiastic Earth Pony practically yelled while furiously shaking Twilight’s hoof. “I’m Applejack, the proprietor of this here apple orchard.”
“I’m Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said through the hoof shaking. Applejack let go, and the purple unicorn was able to stop before making a foal of herself.
“Well what can I do ya’ for, Ms. Sparkle? I can’t claim to have all the same amenities as a fancy city-person like yourself might be used to, but I know my apples and apple accessories. Red apples, green apples, apple trees, apple decorations, big Macintosh’s fancy Apple Computers, apple pastries… although the Apple Trading Cartel doesn’t have a monopoly on that yet. Darn Cakes.”
“Oh…” Twilight said, taken aback again. Never before had she heard of an ‘Apple Trading Cartel’. Something like that wouldn’t have gone under her radar from the political implications alone, not to mention the fact that Applejack couldn’t lie worth a bad apple. “Well, I’m here to check on the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration on behalf of my mentor, Princess Celestia.”
“Well why didn’t ya’ say so?!” Applejack asked. “This is the sort of thing that the annual Apple Family Reunion’s built around!”
“Well, I’ll be glad to… WHOA!”
~ ~ ~
“And finally, Granny Smith! Up and at em’, Granny Smith!”
The elderly mare mumbled something along the lines of ‘wut’, before noticing the large pile of apple products on the table, mumbling something along the lines of ‘soup’s on’ before walking slowly towards the table, half asleep.
“Oh, umm… well, while it’s really nice to meet you all, I’m not sure if I should stick around. There’s still a lot of work for the Summer Sun Celebration.”
There was a collective ‘aww’, as every pony except Big Mac lowered their heads in disappointment.
“Fine,” Twilight muttered.
“YAY!”
“Now bow ya’ll’s heads for prayer,” Applejack said, taking off her signature hat as everypony else bowed their head, again to Twilight’s confusion.
“Dear Faust,
“We ask of thee to please bless this food for the strength and nourishment of our bodies. We ask of thee to please bless our labors, that they may be pleasing unto you’re divine servant, Princess Celestia. We ask of thee to please extend your gracious hooves to the protections and benefit of Her servant, Twilight Sparkle, of whom we’ve only known for a short time.
“And most importantly, we ask of thee to please protect us from our heathen decadent neighbors, the Carrots, this college hoofball season, and that while no permanent harm comes to the e.u. players, that their efforts will be frustrated and our Fightin’ Equestrian Aggies will win the day.”
A mighty whoop came from almost all of the assembled Apples.
“Amen”
There was a reverent silence, of which Twilight felt awkward in.
Applejack was the one to break the pause. “Now then every pony, let’s dig in!”
There was veritable party started, with many more tables then what Twilight remembered. Everything seemed right, with the same proud and friendly (though eccentric) Apple family. But the inclusion of a prayer to a diety she never heard of, much less a prayer like that, didn’t turn well in her mind.
“Umm… about the prayer…” Twilight began as Applejack and Big Mac settled into a seat her, Granny Smith happily serving cider in her slow yet patient pace.
“Oh, I hope we didn’t bother you none with that,” Applejack said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t even Orthodox Celestian, what with bein’ so close to divinity and all. But we wouldn’t be Latter-day Reformed Southern Faustians if we didn’t pay our respects to the Creator and all.”
“I… see…” Twilight said. The clues were enough to follow up on later without seeming too out of place. “So… Aggies?”
“Yep. It’s been a proud Apple tradition, even after they civilinized the place. Big Mac here was in the Corps of Cadets, and was even a yell leader! Isn’t that right, Big Mac?”
“Eeyep.”
“Wouldn’t he have to join the military, though?” Spike asked.
“Oh, they did away with that. Didn't mean he didn't try, though. He tried to join the regular army, but they said he was ‘too tall’, and that his fancy mathematics degree didn’t impress them none. But he’s the captain of the local militia, and that’s good enough for them to fund his big fancy Ph.D. and all of his research.”
“Will ya’ ever tell us why you farm apples with us instead of teaching at the college?” Applebloom asked.
“Nnnope.”
“I... see…” Twilight said, looking at the large stallion in a new light. “Would you be familiar with the magical applications of number theory?”
“Eeyep.”
“Well wouldn’t you look at that? Big Mac finally found himself a ladyfriend.” Caramel Apple (the female one) said to her friends, loud enough for the group to hear. They all seemed to laugh at Twilight’s blush.
“Now don’t mind their teasin’, Miss Sparkle. It just means you’re practically one of the family!” Applejack said.
And thus the party continued, and Twilight finally found someone to share research notes with.
* * *
Ponyville, like many rural communities, did not have much in the way of a night life. There was a bar, true, but that bar was patroned by farmers and working class ponies for the most part. If you wanted to party, you either needed friends and a place to host it that wouldn’t draw negative attention or one of the few local fairs and festivals.
The Apple Family Reunion was such a party in the end. After the foals and Spike tuckered themselves out and went to bed, the cider began to flow even more freely. Twilight and Big Mac had gathered together their own clique of Apples, the “Egghead Corner”. The topic of conversation ranged as freely, from applied mathematics to current events to Apple Cartel politics and gossip. Twilight learned a lot, especially since Big Mac proved a master conversationalist and entertainer.
Which lead to the current predicament.
The ground seemed to shake under her as though it were a ship. She was being supported by Applejack, move slowly towards the library.
“I can’t believe you have a master’s degree,” Twilight slurred.
“And I simply cannot believe how drunk you let yourself get,” Applejack replied. “Besides, it is only a Masters degree in Agricultural Management.”
“Well of course it is, ‘case you’re the Apple Baroness.”
“I will not be referred to as such,” Applejack said sharply. “I only manage Sweet Apple Acres, not the whole Cartel. And not all Apple Cartel members are Apples either, even if they extended family. We have simply come to an arrangement which allows all parties to have a comfortable profit without driving one party or another out of buisness.”
“Yeah. But Big Mac says you’re the leader,” Twilight replied. “That means you’re the leader… pony… leader. And if Big Mac says it’s true, I trust ‘im, ‘cause I’m sure he has a big... a big…”
Twilight belched, which caused Applejack to sigh.
“Ms. Twilight, I know you got eyes on Macintosh,” Applejack said.
“I… well, he’s handsome, and smart…”
Applejack smirked a little bit. “And every filly and young mare in this town will not let me hear the end of it. Now, while I am pleased the protégé of my sovereign would desire the companionship of my brother, but I am still his sister. He is a kind soul, and if you purposefully mislead or hurt him I cannot be held responsible for the ensuing damages to your person or your property.”
Twilight looked at Applejack, her face screwing up a little as she tried to figure out what was wrong. Then she looked at the duplicate of her friend. “Your dialect’s different.”
“I have not the faintest idea what you are talking about,” Applejack replied. “I have always retained my proper dialect, in spite of the boarding school attempts to teach ‘proper English’. It is simply that I can hold my cider better than you can.”
They got to the door of the library, Applejack smiling to Twilight. “Well, I suppose this experience makes us friends now.”
“I guess,” Twilight said, before her eyes went wide. “Oh no!”
“Oh no?” Applejack echoed.
“I got so wrapped up in talking to everyone that I forgot all the other preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration! Rainbow Dash and Rarity and Fluttershy and…” Twilight only stopped at a hoof being pressed to her lips.
“All of the ponies you have mentioned are industrious and reliable, even if Rainbow Dash is a bit of a sloth,” Applejack stated. “For now we will get you some water, and then get you to bed.”
Applejack then opened the door. To both of the pony’s shocks, sitting in plain view of both of them was Pinkie Pie, her mane flat and straight.
“What is thy bidding my mistress?” Pinkie asked, kneeling to Twilight.
There was a moment of silence. Then Applejack looked at Twilight, her eyes as wide as saucers. “How did you gain the fealty of Pinkie Pie ?! What did you?!”
“The worst… possible… THING! Oh Celestia, WHAT DID I DO?!” Twilight started to become more obviously disheveled, but rather than having a magical breakdown she mearly fainted instead.
“Well, that was fun!” Pinkie said with a manic smile, practically bouncing on her hooves. “Better see Miss Belle about more shampoo and conditioner and stuff. My Pinkie sense says tomorrow is going to be a great party! I guarantee it!”
Pinkie then hopped out of the library, around the unconscious unicorn and confused farm pony and straight to Sugarcube Corner. It was only after she was gone that Applejack knew what to say.
“Faust help us all.”
The Trouble With Time Travel
Chapter 3: Summer Sun, Eclipsed
Chapter 3: Summer Sun, Eclipsed
Rainbow Dash was never a normal mare.
She knew this. Her entire childhood after the… incident… had been hammering in that fact. She knew what she did. She knew the damage it caused, even if everyone she admired and loved tried to hide it from her. And she promised herself never to let it happen again.
The cool, brisk nighttime air was just what the doctor ordered. She lived on the ground so that she didn’t have to worry about look strange to her fellow pegasus. The clouds were mostly taken care of, bucked into their constituent dew drops. The weather from the Everfree had been… managed. Now all that was left was flying her normal workout routine, away from prying eyes.
Rainbow Dash isn’t a normal mare.
One hundred and ninety three earth ponies and unicorns. That’s how many were killed directly by the “Great Cloudsdale Weather Factory Explosion”. Celestia said it wasn’t her fault. The convention hall was an experiment, a negotiation center for the great cartels that controlled the production of all the vital resources of Equestria. It wasn’t cheap, and the amount of money spent on transportation and enchanting that came out of the royal treasury signified how important the negotiations were. Yet even as Celestia herself saved over a gross of ponies, and scores more saved by the Wonderbolts and good Samaritans, almost two hundred ponies whose only crime was being at the wrong place at the wrong time ‘slipped through’.
Immelmanns. Barrel Rolls. Tailslides. Something called a ‘Cuban Eight’. A Pucachev’s Cobra. Those were this night’s exercises. If she wanted to be the best, she had to practice like the best. Her wings were well developed, better than some of the most athletic pegasus could ever dream. She wasn’t bad on the ground either, although she was no Applejack.
“Know your limits”, Gunny would say. “Know how far you can push yourself. Then push farther, but only when it is safe or you absolutely need to. We can’t afford to lose you, and it’d be a shame if you make yourself a red feathered splat on Celestia's green Earth.”
Rainbow Dash would never be normal mare.
She had been so proud of herself. She did the impossible! She performed the Sonic Rainboom, proved that it wasn’t an old mare’s tale! And for what? It had been a stupid race. Nothing was actually at stake beyond her own stupid pride. Fluttershy would never have stopped being bullied, and the yellow mare’s special talent meant she would have to live on the ground anyway.
After the incident, Rainbow Dash was quietly hushed away. She received personalized training, from both Celestia and the Royal Guard. Rainbow Dash saw some of the best pegasus kind had to offer not as stony faced tools, but as actual ponies. They took her in as one of their own, and taught her everything they knew.
There was a reason the old ways fell out of favor. They are the hard ways, from when the Pegasus were a culture of warriors instead of gardeners of the weather. But the Guard never went too far. They pushed her, yes, but she wanted to be pushed. She ended was the Guard’s mascot for the better part of her childhood. No harm would ever come to filly everyone treated like their own foal, not if they could help it.
Rainbow Dash refused to be a normal mare.
Rainbow Dash would never be content to just work on the sky or only practice her special talent. She certainly wasn’t going to mope. She would make the world a better place, prove herself one of the best fliers in Equestrian history! She wasn’t going to the princess and say ‘pretty please with sugar on top?’ She would earn her own place, and make everyone who ever believed in her proud.
As Rainbow Dash glided in the cool night air, she felt an overwhelming sense of approval. She didn’t how, or from where. It was dark, but not malevolent. Cool and detached, but beautiful, like a star spangled moonlit night. The sky was clear for tomorrow, her exercise routine was done, and now she could just… chill.
With a few wing flaps to keep her in the air, she continued to glide over the Everfree Forest. She wasn’t scared, though. She could handle the most common creatures in the forest. And if she ever met anything short of a dragon that she couldn’t handle, she could just take off and fly away.
Eventually she made her way to a particularly tricky patch of forest. The poison joke was thick here, and she had been treated more than once for being clumsy in her landings. But this time she would stick it! And if she didn’t, well, there was a reason she visited this part of the forest anyway.
She came down to tree level. It was tricky, but she made it past the branches and bramble, onto the cleared ground. Before her was a strange house, and weird looking masks gave her a warm greeting. A zebra walked out of the house, giving her a smile.
“And she has come with her usual lack of flash. If it isn’t my good friend, Rainbow Dash!” The zebra said, with her ussual poetry.
“Hey Zecora,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I figured you’d be the only pony up right now. Or… zebra.”
“Semantics you worry about, but without due," Zecora then beckond Rainbow to follow her. "Come in, sit down, enjoy my latest brew.”
As the sky blue, rainbow maned mare stepped into the warm light of Zecora’s Hut, the aches and pains of her exercise routine began to manifest themselves. Already she was having a warm bowl of tea set before her, which she gladly dranked. “Thanks, Zecora.”
“Little problem it is for a friend so true. Did you come for supplies, or perhaps to taste a brew that’s new?” Zecora asked.
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, not for those. I was wondering if you’d like to come along for the Summer Sun Celebration. I mean, I realize it’s a pony festival, but it should be fun. Right?”
“A pony festive might be fun, But if I joined, everypony would run," the zebra slowly shook her head. "For now it is fate, from your village I am shunned. But worry not my friend, for zebras have their own ways to celebrate the sun.”
“Man, that sucks!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “I can’t believe they treat you that badly just because you're weird. Umm… no offense.”
“None taken,” Zecora replied, before returning to her cauldron. “For now, though, I have a tale to tell.”
Rainbow Dash walked up to the cauldron, wondering what exactly was going on. To her surprise, it was images from the royal archive.
It was one of a dark blue alicorn, her mane etherial, like the nighttime sky. She was looking satisified over something, likely the moon.
“A thousand years ago, more or less,
There was an alicorn who tried her best.
For her job, you see, was to raise the moon,
And to use sky as a canvas, one that was dark blue.
For constellations she installed,
Tapestries set true,
For the Great Father, only the very best would do.”
“This isn’t one of your funny stories,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’m guessing there’s a moral.”
“Not a moral, but a warning. A warning grave, but true,” the Zebra replied. Again the images changed, becoming something appropriate for each scene in Zecora’s poem.
The first one was confusing. There was some sort of lighted figure presiding over a misty Equestria. The alicorns sat at it's right and left hooves. The one to the right was obviously Celestia, but the one to the left was still a mystery.
“For the Great Father left, other children needing raising,
For their jobs well done, he left the alicorns a gift not so brazen.
Dominion over the sky, and pony-folk below,
To be wise matriarchs, and their gifts bestow."
Another scene in the caldron: The blue alicorn was sad, sitting in clouds while the ponies below sleep. Her sadness slowly turned to anger, her coat changing from blue to black as she did.
"Yet the alicorn of the night was corrupted:
‘The ponies of the day sleep during my beautiful night,
None give me attention, so I will instead give them fright.
For if they will not love me, they will fear me, I say.
So I will raise up the moon, and blot out the day.’"
A battle between the sisters. Strange creatures without hooves holding metal sticks fighting alongside ponies, zebras, gryphons, and Celestia knows what else. Funny thing was, Celestia likely did know.
"For that, the sisters fought.
Sigel won over Selene,
The imaged changed to that of the moon. The black alicorn mare was superimposed upon it. Eventually, she faded into it, her likeness becoming the mares and craters upon its surface.
"In the moon Selene imprisoned, exiled and humiliated.
But in the thousandth year, on the longest day,
Selene shall have her final say.
Unless the Heroes arise, and friendship settle the score,
Corruption shall win, and the day come nevermore.”
Rainbow Dash watched the scenes faded away: a group of haloed mares triumphing over a demon from their worst nightmares, and its dark counterpart of a dark tyrant ruling over a broken kingdom. “What can I do?” She asked.
“Who is to say?” the Zebra asked. “We know not our destinies until the chosen day. But be of good cheer, my friend. You are loyal, and the rightous you shall defend.”
“It’s never easy,” Rainbow Dash said, sighing a little bit before looking at her unusual friend. “Well, sleep’s going to be hard enough to come by as it is. Thanks Zacora, but I need to go.”
“It was my pleasure to play the host. Be untroubled, my little pony, and fear not the silly ghosts.”
And with that, Rainbow Dash walked outside, shot up into the sky, and flew home.
* * *
“Ugh... mah head...” Applejack groaned, using her hat to best shield her from the light. The outside streets of Ponyville were fully lit, in anticipation of the coming festivities. Already ponies were running back and forth, carrying bells and fireworks and who knows what else.
Twilight snorted. “'Can hold my cider better' my flank.”
“You best be watchin' what attention you're callin' to your flank, little missy. You just might not like it,” Applejack bit out, before wincing at her own words. Not the harshness, just at how much the noise caused her headache to get worse.
“I'm not even going to respond to that,” Twilight replied, before a light flash went out from her horn. Applejack blinked her eyes a little bit, feeling a bit of relief for the pounding inside her skull. “The Traditional Canterlot Hangover Cure. One of them, anyway.”
“Well thanks, I suppose,” Applejack replied, getting a better look at the scene. “What's the other cure?”
“Do you feel like raiding the chicken coop for eggs?” Twilight asked. The disgusted look on Applejack's showed most definitely that no, she was not.
Ponies walked to the main hall, in which little expense was spared to make it look as though no expense was spared in welcoming the Princess of the Realm. Pinkie Pie managed to shanghai the entire operation, that much was apparent. Confections were on every table, confetti already on the ground from “Party Poppers”, and ponies generally having fun. Even though the Element of Laughter was already at work, Twilight's trained eyes noticed another detail.
Even from the door Twilight could tell that there were pyrotechnics were artfully hidden from view. Pinkie Pie knew her craft well, so they were the obvious ones. Odds were as good that some would be hidden behind the stage as they were that some would be hidden in one of the miniature orchestra's horns. Knowing Pinkie, probably both, and then someplace so random that somebody who knew her for years wouldn't know.
There was a small commotion outside. Twilight and Applejack turned to see it. Noticing that everypony was looking up, they did the same.
It was Rainbow Dash. The powder blue pegasus didn't appear with any of her usual bombastic theatrics, at least from Twilight's perspect. She just sort of... glided. Her flying was efficient, elegant even, with only as much energy needed to go into it and no more. She banked, turning the same direction as Mane Street before angling her wings to slow her air speed. She then hovered, flapping her wings enough to land gently on the ground.
It was all textbook flying according to 'Whirlwind's Guide for Young Pegasus Fliers'. Which is exactly what made it so odd, since pegasus magic meant they could get away small mistakes. Everything Rainbow Dash did while flying was meant for speed, acceleration, and control during near sonic velocities. This sort of graceful movement at low speeds was completely out of character.
“Well, if it isn't Ponyville's finest weather pony!” Applejack exclaimed.
“Well of course I'm the finest weather pony Ponyville has! I never leave Ponyville hanging,” the powder blue mare replied, now having her typical level of bostfulness.
“Aren't you Ponyville's only weather pony?” Twilight ventured to ask.
“Details, details,” Rainbow Dash replied, before getting a good look at her critic. “Hey, AJ. Who's the new girl?”
“Why this here is Twilight Sparkle,” Applejack said. “She's here to make sure that this shindig goes down all smooth-like for Princess Celestia.”
“You were sent by Princess Celestia?” Rainbow Dash asked. Then she connected the dots, recognition lighting up her face. “Wait a minute... I know you! You're the shut in!”
“... the what?”
“Yeah, the shut in. You spend all your time in that library with the baby dragon learning about magic, right?” Twilight could only dumbly nod as Rainbow Dash continued her explination. “I mean, I suppose it makes sense, because pegasus fly and unicorns use magic. I spent all day and most nights flying with the Guard until I got everything just right, and I guess it's the same with you. Oh man, would you believe our luck? Both of Celestia's apprentices, under this roof.”
Applejack chuckled. “Well, I suppose that is a mighty fine string of luck we have. Now lets get inside. Ceremony's about to start, and I wouldn't miss it for the world!”
* * *
She sat in an isolated booth, high above the festivities. Pinkie Pie watched over all the party goers, the guests that she was hosting. Fluttershy was easy to bring onboard, and Miss Belle, although always a tough nut to crack, eventually relented to the Pinkie Pie's force of personality and weird charisma.
Twilight wasn't a normal pony. She was a good pony, and it was the first time 'the works' was ever requested. There was something old and wise about Twilight, but it was obvious that she was still a limited mare way over her head. Which is why Pinkie had to help her! But that didn't mean that she should be all serious and dour either. It wasn't the rock farm, after all. Well, except now it was a 'rock ranch', but those where just silly words and silly rolling stones and boulders and rock things.
The old ways of rock farming were better anyway.
Teasing Twilight would be fun, but surprising Twilight would be even better. And if they could prank together... oh, the wonderful pranks there could be. The purple unicorn was going to make one of the bestest best pranks ever! And even better, she ask Pinkie to help her prank a mean old physical god of being an itchy witchy rhymes with twitchy. Parties and pranks and making friends would make everything better! Twilight didn't know that yet, but Pinkie sure did! Pinkie had a sixth sense about parties and pranks and all sorts of fun stuff and stuff of stuff and things. Everyone called it her Pinkie Sense, which she supposed made sense. It was hers, right?
Oh, this prank was going to be one of the best ones ever! She could feel the eyes of the universe upon her, and a few from outside as well. She didn't know how, but she didn't question it either. She just knew that there was a twitching in her nose, and an itching in her spleen, and her left leg was a going 'thumpa thump thump', horseshoe against carpet like a drumstick on drum.
“IT'S SHOWTIME!” Pinkie declared to no one in particular.
It's party o'clock, and MC Pie is in the house!
* * *
Twilight Sparkle had a sense for when things were about to go bad. One doesn't survive thirty years as the 'Element of Magic' if you don't. One also doesn't survive as an effective leader if one doesn't know how to manage a crisis.
'But do I really know what is coming?' Twilight asked herself. 'Everything about this is wrong. A lot of things don't make sense. A lot of things make too much sense. And now Nightmare Moon was about manifest, and the seeds of friendship haven't all been planted and...'
”You need a break.”
'You know what... buck it. I might as well have some fun with this,' Twilight thought to herself, before looking at the mares she had on hand.
“Rainbow Dash... do you trust me?” Twilight asked.
“...no? I mean, we just met and...”
Twilight didn't give the pegasus a chance to finish. “Applejack, do you trust me?”
“Well, seeing how you were actin' during and after the Reunion, and the hangover, I suppose I do,” Applejack replied. “Only way we could be closer buddies right now is if we went and picked a fight with a police mare. Ya' don't take that sorta sacred bond lightly.”
“Good,” Twilight said, more determined now then she was before. “Luna was always a prude, so I hope this works.”
The two mares looked at Twilight in confusion. It was Applejack who broke the thought. “Twilight, what are you goin' to do?”
“Who the hay is 'Luna'?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Applejack, keep Dash from doing something stupid.” Twilight began. “Dash, as hard as it is for you, don't do something stupid.”
Gasps came from all around. A dark mist seemed to rise up from the surroundings. Through the windows every pony could see the morning sun was rising. Quickly trailing it was a blood red moon, which eclipsed the planet's native star.
“Don't worry, girls,” Twilight assured the two as the dark mist coalesced into the form of a long forgotten goddess. “I've got this covered.”
The Trouble With Time Travel
Chapter 4: Completely Off the Rails
The night air was cool and crisp, as it was expected to. Ponies began to fill the streets, most of them clad in nothing but their coat. Some of the royal guard's agents were already there, in their bright and shiny gold armor. Other plaincoats agents were doubtless already in the crowd, and a third group drew the eyes of first time visitors to Ponyville.
The Ponyville Militia Company was out tonight. Their cadet gray uniforms had red lining visible at the sleeves, and gold trim throughout the ranks. The kepis were the same cadet grey, with a hard black bill and golden insignia that were simple but elegant.
“Lieutenant Belle, why are we wearing our uniforms?” A wall eyed pegasus mare asked.
“Because, Sergeant Doo, we are on duty during a major festival,” Rarity replied.
“But we don't bring out the flak cannons unless there's a dragon attack,” Ditzy Doo replied, before gasping. “Does this mean a dragon is going to attack the Summer Sun Celebration?!”
“No, Sergeant, a dragon will not attack the celebration,” Rarity replied again, exasperated with her subordinate. “We are simply on duty to make a good show to everyone and deter troublemakers and hooligans and some such. The mayor wants everyone to feel safe. So we are out here, in our uniforms, helping everyone to feel safe.”
“But flack cannons don't make me feel safe,” Ditzy replied forelornly.
“That is because you have more of a clue than the civilians,” Rarity muttered.
“What was that, Lieutenant Belle?” Ditzy asked.
“Nothing.~” Rarity replied. She then looked over at her erstwhile subordinate. “So, what are the enlisted saying about my uniform? Do they like it?”
“Well, it's gray,” Ditzy replied. “The uniforms for the Canterlot Guard are blue.”
“Yes, but the Canterlot Guard have access to a budget,” Rarity replied. “All of our money went to the equipment. I'm afraid I had to... compromise on the dye so that the order would be completed with a satisfactory fabric. And that doesn't answer my question, Sergeant. Does it breathe? Are any ponies getting rashes?”
“Nopony's complaining about rashes,” Ditzy replied. “And it doesn't feel hot. Then again, we aren't marching, but we shouldn't be marching right now. So I'm happy with it.”
“Wonderful, dear,” Rarity replied, pleased with herself. “This order may have been at cost, but if somepony likes these I may be able to get a few profitable contracts. Not that I'm trying to make a profit out of being in the militia, of course, it is...”
“Why are you in the militia, Lieutenant Belle?” the wall eyed sergeant asked, seemingly out of nowhere.
“Umm... well, how should I put this? There is a certain... civic obligation that fortunate ponies like myself need to fulfill. A kind of oblige noble, if you will.” Upon seeing Ditzy giving her a confused look, Rarity decided she needed to take another approach. “Helping to defend the town against ruffians and monsters from the Everfree Forest is the least I could do. And it helped to pay for university.”
“Oh, okay,” Ditzy replied. “I hope they'll use my benefits to pay for Dinky's college. I don't make much as a mail mare, and I'm not a very clever pony. But my little muffin is! If I can do that for her, and wear a pretty uniform sometimes, then it's okay to be in the militia.”
Rarity smiled, and gave the mail mare militia sergeant a brief hug.
“What was that for?” Ditzy asked.
“For being a good pony and a good mother,” Rarity replied, before realizing that was probably inapropriate. She cleared her throat. “Well, we simply cannot sit around all day in the street. Lets make the rounds, Sergeant Doo. Hopefully Warrant Officer Hearstrings hasn't scared away the recruits with her strange human fetish.”
~ ~ ~
The bird choir flew away, as they were wont to do. The mayor's speech about the festival was interrupted by the eclipsed, and the ponies watched in horror as the near blasphemous event occurred. A dark mist slowly seeped from the ground, filling the room, gathering at the stage prepared for the Ruler of the Nation of Equestria. A dark, twisted mockery of their royal princess manifested on the stage. She was an alicorn, the same as the princess, but altogether different. She was pitch black, her eyes purple and slitted like a dragon. Her mane and tail were a dark mist, like that of the night. Her flank was covered in a darker black, a moon and stars bright against it. Her armor, dark purple, was clearly made for battle instead of ornamentation.
“Aah~. It's good to be back,” the alicorn sighed, before looking at the crowd. They were cowering before her, their fear palpable and delicious to the wrathful, corrupted goddess. “What is wrong, my little ponies? Why do you cower before me? Have you forgotten your true queen? Am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am ?”
“I know who you are,” a voice challenge from the crowd.
“Oh really? Somepony knows of me, even after my dearest sister expunged the very memory of me from history?!” Nightmare Moon challenged backed.
“Celestia couldn't destroy all the records, even if she tried,” the voice responded. The crowd parted, allowing a purple unicorn to walk forward. To Night Mare Moon's pleasant surprise, the unicorn's cutie mark as a starburst surrounded by stars of a lesser magnitude. “As surely as I know that I am Twilight Sparkle, protégé of Princess Celestia, I know that you are no less then Night Mare Moon, the Mare in the Moon and former co-ruler of Equestria!”
The crowd gasped at the revelation. Applejack and Rainbow Dash stared in shock. Night Mare Moon smiled. “Very impressive that you should know who I am, Twilight Sparkle. Shall you fight me, then, protege of the Sun Tyrant?”
“I shall not,” Twilight replied, causing a murmur to ripple through the crowd.
The alicorn chuckled, a deep and throaty sound. “I see. Very wise of you, to choose your battles. But are you sure? Shall you betray your mentor without even a token effort?”
“Princess Celestia is wise, and very powerful,” Twilight began. “But in this affair she is clearly in the wrong. Instead of attempting to negotiate, or to understand, or even to redeem, her first and last resort was to make war against your people and banish you to the moon for a full millennium. I shall not oppose your response, or the assumption of your rightful place on the throne of Equestria.”
“So you shall follow me? Willingly?” Nightmare Moon asked, pleased at the prospect.
“Of course, my liege,” Twilight replied, bowing to the goddess. The ponies stared in shock as Celestia's faithful student betrayed their monarch.
“Hmm... a bit early in my plans, but a good turn of events none the less. A follower, even a harbinger of great wisdom and intellectual skill, and a willing one, only minutes into my reign is a gift of the highest magnitude. I should reward you for your faithfulness, Twilight Sparkle. Rise, and tell me what it is that your heart desires. Is it knowledge? Wealth? Power?” Nightmare Moon asked.
“Nothing so droll, Your Highness. I do not desire those things which are simple mortal dross,” Twilight replied, taking the time to rise from her act of supplication.
“You traitor!” Rainbow Dash yelled, beginning to take off before Applejacked jumped on her, pinning her to the ground. “Let me go, AJ!”
“Not a chance, Rainbow Dash,” Applejack replied, forgetting her affected accent and sounding far too upper crust for a stressful situation. “Twilight said she has a plan, and I am going to let her see it through before I allow you to perform your suicidal charge.”
“The prophecies of your return where quite explicit,” Twilight continued, her voice dropping a husky tone. “I could help but to read them over and again, enraptured by what they predicted. I could hardly ask for a reward when I should be punished for my indiscretions.”
Something about the unicorns tone of voice... unsettled Nightmare Moon. “I... see. And what is it that you have read?”
“Every little thing,” Twilight replied, giving the goddess a wink. She then raised her voice, seeming to preach to the crowd. “For behold, Night Mare Moon, Goddess of Love and Fertility, shall be unbound in the thousandth year of Her punishment! ”
“... what?” the goddess asked flatly.
“And they shall know Her coming by Her Harbinger, and all shall be filled with awe and trembling! And she shall visit the wicked of the world, and reform them through Her Pleasure-Pain! For thirty days day shall be as night, and night as day, and all inhibition shall be removed from pony-kind! Ponies shall frolic, and be as their ancestors, knowing no shame, breeding, breeding a new generation that shall be gifted, and She shall preside over that generation, sending pony-kind into a new gold age and bringing Her people to new heights of Pleasure, Pain and Joy! ”
“... What?!” Night Mare Moon asked again, this time with much more distress evident in her voice.
“Oh, I can't contain my excitement any further!” Twilight exclaimed, launching herself at corrupted alicorn with open arms. “Take me, my Nightmare Queen! I've been a wicked mare!”
“NEIGH!” Night Mare Moon replied, shock and disgust plain in her voice. She grabbed Twilight with her ethereal hair right when she was about to invade the self proclaimed queen's newfound 'personal space', flinging the unicorn into a nearby wall. Twilight flew into the wall, cracking the sheet rock with the force of her impact, but not going through. “I know not what sick ideas and twisted propaganda my dearest sister has planted in your minds, but I shall disavow you of all your foalish notions at once!”
“PINKIE!” Twilight managed to yell, before crumpling at the incredible pain which was flowing through every part of her body.
“OKIE DOKIE LOKI! EVERYPONY RUN!” Pinkie Pie yelled, as warning klaxons started to sound throughout the convention hall. “IT'S PYRO TIME! ”
Twilight could feel herself being lifted, forelegs grasping her midsection roughly (and wracking her body with new pain) as she was flown through the air. “I've got you,” the familiar voice of Rainbow Dash said through the haze, flying through a window and taking Twilight to the nearest hospital as the purple unicorn passed out into a peaceful, dreamless slumber.
Below, it was a much different story, as a pink mare giggled in glee at the sight.
The stampede began, ponies running through the extra-wide doors and opened windows. The stage went up as squibs underneath the paper decorating the floor went up around the goddess, frightening her as she perceived some sort of new weapon being used against her. But it was nothing more than a trick, as the actual fireworks shot from their mortar tubes and saturated the area with blinding chemical explosions when most of the ponies had fled from the hall.
“Pyro time is so much FUN !” Pinkie Pie yelled, enjoying the show. The box was just the sort of thing she needed. It was magically treated to protected anyone inside from things being too bright, hot or dangerous. The reinforced and insulated concrete casing was the same sort of material that pill boxes were made from to protect ponies and zebras from dragon fire or magical flames, while the glass was exactly the same kind as was used when new high level spells were being tested. The panel in front of her with big, pressable buttons were each hooked up to a special section of pyrotechnics or traps, each one something that she had set up in the previous evening.
It took a moment for the pink mare to notice that the alicorn had erected a magical shield between herself and the chemical fire. Inside of the bubble was apparently a fire free zone, and the alicorn was quickly healing herself and regaining her bearings.
“Oh, we can't have that! Good thing Fluttershy found just the right stuff for this sort of thing!” Pinkie jumped forward, pressing a bright green button with butterflies on it.
The floor beneath Nightmare Moon fell away. The pit trap was simple but effective, and gravity suddenly taking effect caught the alicorn off guard. The short fall was not enough to hurt her. The dozen honey badgers at the bottom, angry at the fireworks going off on the floor above their heads and agitated at being moved from their normal homes, were a different story.
Skull piercing shrieks of pain filled Ponyville as the diminutive creature started attacking Nightmare Moon. Pinkie Pie giggled, as she began to press all of the buttons from the safety of her magical bunker. Fireworks going off right above the pit Nightmare Moon was in, to the walls and the support beams of the building. The goddess managed to take off, even with the honey badgers biting and clawing and burrowing through her armor . So Pinkie Pie pressed her last button, and fireworks and flack guns filled the sky with explosions as Nighmare Moon shot straight up into space.
And thus did the Summer Sun Celebration abruptly end the same way it has for a thousand years. With fire.
~ ~ ~
The anti-air guns continued their booming, along with the fireworks. They were the older model, and probably less effective then what 'important cities' got. They were also the pride and joy of a town at the edge of one of the unhealing pits from which all monsters are born in Equestria.
And they were doing nothing.
“Cease fire! Cease fire!” Rarity yelled, the magic of her horn magnifying her voice. This was unacceptable.
“But El-Tee, it's getting away!”Lyra replied, her voice similarly magnified.
“It's already gone!” Rarity replied back. “NOW CEASE FIRE AND STOP WASTING THE CITY'S AMMUNITION! THOSE ARE MY TAX BITS YOU'RE WASTING!”
The battery of guns stopped firing, and although it seemed quick Rarity was disappointed. Those may have been that captain's guns (well, the city's), but it was her section! It wasn't just her usual perfectionism at work. They had the royal guard there was well! They had to make a good impression.
Rarity then got a look at the town. The new Mayor Mare Convention Hall was burning to the ground. The stampede out of the hall had settled into the streets, with scared and confused ponies unsure of what to do. Medical ponies were already being dispatched, their wagons being filled with the worst of the patients as they took them to the local hospital.
“What do we do, Lieutenant Belle?” Ditzy asked.
Rarity looked around, unsure of what to do at the moment. Every pony which were a part of the crew were looking at her expectantly. She wanted to help. Oh how she wanted to help. But now they knew that something bad already happened, and could happen again.
“Keep crewing those guns until I tell you otherwise!” Rarity ordered. She hated this part of the job. “Search the skies, and ask for authorization before firing! I will not have my section shoot down an innocent pegasus because they're feeling twitchy! Get ready to move, we may have to relocate!”
Ponies began working the guns once more, getting ready for if there was another airborne attack. Rarity was trying her best to present a calm front, but deep inside she was praying to Faust everything would turn out okay.
~ ~ ~
The mayor was in her office, coordinating with everyone as best as she could. The hospitals were already starting to overflow, and she was trying to see that the least worst injuries would be treated at nearby medical centers. The fire was contained for now, but there were not enough fire ponies or police ponies for what was going on.
The Mayor's office was a smaller building, with a large open area to serve as a town hall and small offices all around. Right now the town hall was being used to coordinate the response, while the offices were filled with others going about their duties. The Mayor's own office was a mess, new messages and invoices and reports being piled on what would normally be the coffee table, notes strewn across the desk.
“WHAT WAS THE MEANING OF THAT?!” the Prime Minister yelled at the Mayor.
And now, on top of this, she had to entertain a VIP.
“Prime Minister Morningstar,” the mayor greeted, holding a hoof to a phone. “I'll be with you in just a moment.”
“YOU'LL BE WITH ME RIGHT NOW!” The PM screeched.
“Yes, yes. Yes, I know. The Sheriff will be bringing his deputies? Good. I'll call you back later,” Mayor Mare said, before addressing the Prime Minister. “What seems to be the problem?”
“EVERYTHING!” the Prime Minister yelled back. Her wings were outstretched in obvious frustration, and it was clear that she was flustered from having to both run for her life and tracking down the Mayor.
“There is no need to use the Royal Canterlot Voice, Prime Minister,” Mayor Mare said. “Everything is a bit broad, though. Can you be more specific?”
“What were you doing? Why is the Princess not here?!” the Prime Minister demanded.
“I do not know,” the Mayor responded, honestly. “And right now, I'm trying to make sure my city doesn't burn to the ground.”
“Oh, you'll have much more to worry about then that!” the Prime Minister declared. “I've been telling everypony that we should demilitarize for years, and this is a perfect example of why. If it hadn't have been for militia's... things... the Royal Guard would have had a clear shot for pursuit.”
There appeared to be a minor commotion outside. One of the Royal Guard has apparently escorting an obscenely handsome unicorn and a gray mare. The mayor paid them no mind. “Prime Minister, we do not have all the information. The militia is securing the city as best they can, the Royal Guard are leading the search... please, be reasonable.”
“Perhaps I can defuse the situation,” the unicorn said, walking through the door with his escorts.
“This isn't you're consern, Your Highness ,” the Prime Minister spat.
“Oh, but I have met the most wonderful ponies despite this most dreadful turn of events,” the unicorn replied. He then motioned with one hoof to the guardsman. “This is Commander Hawk Eye, who is in charge of the security detail,” he then gestured to the Earth Pony. “And this is Special Agent Octavia.” Said agent gave the Prime Minister a nod.
“Prime Minister Morningstar,” the pegasus said, “I would like to commend the militia for their cooperation. They have done everything we asked in a highly professional manner.”
“So it was you who bungled all this! I should have known!” Morningstar replied, before looking sharply at Octavia. “And you! I've seen you perform at the Royal Orchestra. How can a cellist be a special agent?!”
“Carefully,” Octavia replied with disinterest, her eyes scanning the room.
“No matter. It clear that I am surrounded by nothing by sycophants and incompetents. The moment I return to Canterlot there shall be a reckoning, and then I'll...”
“I tire of your voice. Do be quiet,” Blueblood said.
“And who died and made you boss!” The Prime Minister retorted.
“Aunt Celestia,” Blueblood replied. Prime Minister Morningstar and Mayor Mare paled at the news. “There has been a battle at the castle. Many good ponies were lost in the crossfire, and the Royal District has been razed. My aunt is missing, and presumed dead. My line is next in succession. You were chosen to minister over the parliament at her pleasure, not mine. Leave, before I remove your appointment and force you leave.”
Morningstar nodded dumbly, walking out of the office. Mayor Mare looked between the trio. “Is it true?” the mayor ventured to ask.
“It is,” Commander Hawk Eye replied. “Close the door, Octavia. Your highness, you can drop the act.”
As the door was closed, the aristocrat’s eyes began to swell. Soon he was crying, and sobbing in a very unroyal manner. The mayor was taken back by this very frank display. “Prince... Blueblood was it?” The stallion nodded. “I must thank you for confronting the Prime Minister for me. It was clear that she was just distressed and looking for somepony to blame.”
“Uh-huh,” Blueblood replied, reaching into his vest pocket with his magic and grabbing a handkerchief. He blew into it in an almost comical manner, before letting it drop to the ground with a wet thud.
“But you're the next in the line of succession. Surely you've been taught something of use, prepared for the throne just in case. Maybe held a position that you could draw experience from,” the mayor was clearly reaching deep, but the other two ponies in the room seemed appreciative of her efforts. Well, the Royal Guard pegasus did. The earth pony seemed just as bored and impassive as ever.
“Ruling Equestria was all Aunt Celestia's job,” Blueblood said, clearly on the verge of ranting. “My line has done nothing but wait on the Princess for the past hundred years. It was unimaginable that she might disappear. She's a GOD, for Her sake. A GOD! We took for granted her immortality. But now she's gone. GONE! I'm not fit for this job. I shouldn't even have this job!”
“But you're royalty,” the mayor replied, stating the simple fact.
“But I'm not a politician or a leader,” Blueblood whined. “I'm a cartographer! In a land where all borders and formations and such are known! My station is too high to settle the disputes of peasants, trust me, I've tried , but nopony will fund me and nopony can stand to be around me! All I'm allowed to do is enjoy an epic cruise of luxury, and I bore of it. And now this! I know you're the mayor of a provincial town, but even you must have a better idea of what to do then I. WHAT DO I DO?!”
“Announce that you are forming a caretaker government. Make a speech about pony solidarity, and how all ponies should help one another in these troubled times,” she walked up, and placed a comforting hoof on his shoulder as she began to speak to him like her own colt. “Get cleaned up. You do present a good image when you're not bawling your eyes out.”
“Okay... I can take being pampered to make a good image,” Blueblood said. “But I'm no good at giving speeches. I don't know where to begin.”
“I'll help you,” the Mayor said. “We're on the downhill slide for this crisis, I think. For now... think of the state as a ship. You're piloting it into unknown waters, and must plot the best course.”
A light lit up in Blueblood's eyes. “Of course! I never thought of it like that. I'll need more information, though.”
“All of the appropriate ministers and secretaries have been notified, and are preparing an initial briefing,” Octavia intoned. “Would you prefer that they come here, or shall arrangements be made to go to Canterlot?”
“All of the places I care for in Canterlot are ash now,” Blueblood said. “And I hear Ponyville has some world class leisure facilities. Have them come here, to me. Commander, do make sure this quaint village doesn't burn to the ground. And mayor, I have need of a good chancellor.”
The mayor's mouth dropped. She quickly regained composure. “Are you sure? I'm just a simple country mayor.”
“You have a better grasp of politics then I do,” Blueblood replied. “I'll be venturing into unfamiliar territory. I'll need a guide for these uncharted lands of politics. But first, preparations must be made. My epic cruise of luxury shall have to wait! GENTLEPONIES, TO THE SPA!”
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The Trouble With Time Travel
Chapter 5: The Lieutenant, the Student, the Farmer, and the Forest Ranger
Pain.
Twilight’s world was pain.
The pain went through every part of her body. All the way from her hind legs to her horn, her world of hurt had both breadth and depth. She was able to fight through it and stay conscious, a feat she wouldn’t have been able to accomplish thirty years ago. Yet that did nothing to alleviate her confusion.
“Everything feels wrong,” she muttered to herself. She tried to open her eyes, but her eyelids were swollen shut. She tried to stretch her legs. Beyond everything being painful, there was also the fact they just felt wrong. “Legs are too short. Bones probably broken. Magic’s… tiny. Too little magic.”
“Nurse Redheart,” a familiar voice yelled. “I think she’s waking up.”
“Too little magic,” Twilight muttered again. “But… maybe enough. Spell just needs an open conduit.”
“Nurse Redheart, I think she’s trying to use magic. NURSE REDHEART! SOMETHING WEIRD IS HAPPENING!”
Twilight was using a very old spell, one which required no complex thought. It was a primal spell, from before the days of writing, when the Pegasus and the Unicorn feuded and the Earth Ponies had to fight every year to keep some of what they earned through their hard work. To simply let the magic of the land flow through her, and repair any grievous damage.
The magic felt impure. Contaminated, although not to dangerous and unusable levels. Magic, pure and unadulterated magic, is the potential to change. Like all magic, that change would have to be directed. Twilight simply directed it on a small yet grand scale, one that would not be possible with her level of raw ability save for skills learned over the course of her lifetime.
She could feel her bones knitting, the swelling becoming unbearable before beginning to pull back and go away. She could feel the bruising becoming worst, before healing. She could feel her organs becoming better, as strange as it sounded.
Twilight tried to open her eyes. Standing over her was Rainbow Dash, and a white pony with pink mane and a nurse’s cap. Another pony ran up, this one in some sort of grey costume, the glasses and the purple hair…
“Rarity?” Twilight asked feebly, garnering their attention. “Is it Night Mare Night already? Why are you wearing that costume?”
The trio stared at Twilight, and once again the unicorn fell into a dreamless slumber.
~ ~ ~
Nurse Redheart looked at the two ponies standing beside her. What she had seen, what was happening, was disturbing her greatly. Yet her time in the medical profession and exposure to magical accidents let her stay collected while the other two ponies were in a state of confusion and fear.
“Do you know this pony, Rarity?” Redheart asked the militia pony, looking at her.
“I’m afraid I don’t, Nurse Redheart,” Rarity replied. “I was coming in to check on Sergeant Doo. She had an accident while sending some correspondence to Captain Apple.”
“I’m afraid the minor injuries have been bandaged and sent home,” Redheart replied. “We have serious injuries and not enough supplies.”
“Triage,” Rarity said, more to her benefit than anyone else’s. “I understand. If you need my help…”
“I’ll ask. Your boutique does have a lot of space,” the nurse couldn’t help but to grin a little bit as Rarity tried to hide her flinch. “Now, both of you get out of here. Visiting hours are over.”
“But you said…” Rainbow Dash began.
“And that was before magic got involved,” Redheart replied, cutting the pegasus’s argument short. “Now out. OUT!”
And with that the duo was shooed out of the open room and into the hallway. They stood there, awkwardly.
“So…” Rainbow Dash said.
“…quite” Rarity replied. They were quiet for a few more moments. The unicorn then smiled. “I’m afraid we haven’t met yet. I’m Rarity Belle.”
“I’m Rainbow Dash,” Dash replied, smiling back at her. “Sorry to hear about your soldier, lieutenant.”
“Oh, you needn’t be so formal, dear,” Rarity said with an obvious effort at modesty. “Just call me Rarity. And it’s quite alright. She’s okay, and that all that matters. I’m more concerned with that lavender unicorn. Friend of yours?”
“More like ‘fellow student’,” Rainbow Dash replied. She then grinned. “She’s pretty cool, though. You should of seen it! That black pony that looks like the Princess started giving a high and mighty speech, and Twilight… I think her name’s Twilight… comes in acting like she’s about to pledge undying loyalty to her.”
“I assume by the word ‘act’ that it was all just a deception,” Rarity replied.
“Oh yeah!” Rainbow Dash said, nodding her head enthusiastically. “She then jumps ups and makes this fake prophecy about how Night Mare Moon is this sex goddess and is really into the kinky stuff. The look on her face! I don’t know if Night Mare Moon really a goddess like the Princess or a fake, but if she is then that makes it even better !”
“Oh my…” Rarity said, with a faint blush. “Is that how Twilight got injured?”
“Heck no!” Rainbow Dash said with a wide smile. “So that fake goddess is just standing around there like ‘wat?’ and the Twilight goes all ‘Swoon! Take me now, my kinky bondage mistress!’” Rarity blushed even more, although she had to admit that the giggle was genuine. The eyes falling upon the loud rainbow maned mare was particularly obvious. Rainbow Dash’s laughter then became more subdued. “And then Night Mare Moon threw Twilight into a wall. Twilight almost went through the thing, she was thrown that hard. She then yelled for Pinkie, passed out, and I got her away before all those fireworks went off.”
The two were quiet for a few moments. The silence was palpable, and the stallions and mares went back to tending and comforting the wounded. Rainbow Dash face screwed up in concentration though, something that Rarity noticed.
“What’s wrong dear,” Rarity asked.
“It’s just… weird,” Rainbow Dash said. “Okay, I realize I’m not a clever pony. Well… okay, I am clever, but flying is what I’m best at. Everything just fits together too well. I can appreciate a prank as much as the next mare, maybe more, but it looked like Twilight knew exactly what buttons to press to get the best reaction. And she knew mine, too, or else she wouldn’t have had AJ hold me back when it looked like she went traitor.”
“She did seem to know me as well,” Rarity replied, catching on to Rainbow Dash’s line of thought. “Even if she talked like she has never seen a proper military uniform before. I must admit that I am quite flummoxed by all this. I surely would have remembered a unicorn as distinctive as her.”
“Yeah, and if she’s a shut in, how did she get along so well with Applejack,” Rainbow Dash continued, noticing an odd look from Rarity. “Hey, just ‘cause I know a pony’s reputation doesn’t mean I know them. Everything I heard would make you think that she would spend all her time in a library, but the two of them were just walking around, getting along like drinking buddies.”
“Hmm… this case is most perplexing,” Rarity added. “Oh, how I wished I had more time. This is just like that quaint board game I would play as a filly.”
Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Weather-pony with a candlestick holder, right? I think I’ll talk to AJ about it. She has a good sense about these sorts of things. So, did I miss anything?”
“Well, I don’t know what you heard,” Rarity began, gossiping. “But the Princess is missing. Prince Blueblood has formed a caretaker government.”
“Wait, that spoiled brat?” Rainbow Dash asked. She saw the shocked expression on Rarity’s face. “Oh, come off it! I know the guy, okay. All he does is wander around those stupid bush mazes and act like a rude idiot.”
“Well, he certainly seems to be doing a fine job of rallying everyone together,” Rarity said, a little stand offish. “They’re publishing his speech into the newspapers right now. I must admit I’m a bit confused by all these comparisons to sailing and exploration, but it was quite a good speech and certainly was ‘off the cuff’, as they say.”
“Maybe he finally found his calling,” Rainbow Dash said noncommittally. “Some ponies are just screw-ups until the right thing happens. I’ll have to see for myself. But I hope he doesn’t screw this thing up.”
“I hope so as well. And you can see him yourself. He has taken over the spa and the park, and has named our Mayor his Chancellor.” Rarity said. “Which makes sense, I suppose. Nopony’s using a spa at a time like this, even if I do so want to luxuriate!”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Officers,” she muttered. She then gave Rarity a small smile. “Well, I can’t keep watch over Twilight and this isn’t getting anything done. I guess I’ll be seeing you around. Our luck, and Princess Celestia has another faithful student tucked around her somewhere. Me, then Twilight, hmm… wonder if she’s an Earth pony. Or he, Celestia doesn’t seem the sexist type.”
Rainbow Dash cantered off, leaving a confused Rarity blinking in her wake. Then the realization struck. “I was talking to one of Celestia’s personal students?!”
~ ~ ~
Applejack looked over Ponyville, satisfied with the work that was done so far. She wasn’t nearly as selfless as her brother, who was at heart a big softy. She took care of her own, first and foremost her kin-folk, her friends, her employees and her community. It just so happened that the kin-folk were alright, and both the Apple family and the cattle that were under their employment were happy to help the locals with good old Apple family hospitality. Which left Applejack with her obligation to her friends.
At the edge of the Everfree Forest there was a cabin and a tower. That tower was home to the Forest Ranger, a pony who was very fierce and powerful in her own right and inclined to care for wild animals and trees more than ponies. But said ranger’s… eccentricities… made it too easy for her to isolate herself.
So, like any good friend, Applejack had to check on her.
“Fluttershy!” Applejack called out. “Fluttershy! Where are ya’, Fluttershy?!”
There was a light thumping against her back. Applejack looked back, noticing a very irate white rabbit bouncing up and down.
“Why howdy do there, Angel,” Applejack said, lifting the bunny by the scruff of it’s neck like a cat and setting it on the ground. If anything the white ball of anger seemed to become even more annoyed at Applejack. “Now, do ya’ know where Fluttershy is hidin’ herself?”
The bunny scowled, pointing to the tall watch tower which sat at the edge of the Everfree forest.
“Well why didn’t ya’ say so?” Applejack asked, causing the bunny’s frown to go into a full scowl. “I’ll talk to ya’ later.”
Applejack began to climb the spiral staircase that lead from the ground to the top of the tower. Thankfully both sides had rails, in case anypony had to stop and catch their breath or a gust of wind came. The climb was no trouble for Applejack, and soon she was at the room.
“Hey there, Fluttershy,” Applejack said, causing the yellow Pegasus to jump from her table. “Whoa, easy there. I didn’t mean to scare ya’.”
“Oh…I’m sorry if I scared you,” Fluttershy apologized rather unnecessarily. Like always she was wearing an unadorned light green shirt with epaulets, her field hat hanging by the door instead of on her head.
“Hon, ya’ gotta’ learn that ya’ don’t need to say ‘I’m sorry’ for every little thing,” Applejack replied, walking across the room. It was certainly cosy, with cushions on the floor and a nice carpet, as well as windows that could open and close. There was a small kitchenette to the side. She then got close enough to look at the table. “What ya’ got there? A bunch of bottlecaps?”
“Bottlecaps?” Fluttershy asked, before realizing what Applejack said. She then smiled, as if Applejack said a joke. “Oh, those aren’t bottlecaps. Those are medals for doing a good job.” The yellow mare then walked across the room and poured tea from an electric kettle into a couple of cups that were already on a tray. “Would you like some tea? Angle doesn’t want to have tea time since that copperhead tried to play with him.”
“I wouldn’t mind the tea, but what exactly makes ya’ think these are medals?” Applejack asked, gladly accepting a cup when Fluttershy offered it to her.
“Oh, they’re just the rewards described in the ‘Equestrian Forest Ranger Manual’,” Fluttershy replied. She then started to point to specific ones. “This one is for three years of service,” she said, indicating a bottlecap with a ‘3’ on it. “And this one is for seven,” she then moved on to the seven. “Although the book says there has to be one for five, and doesn’t mention a seven. And this one is for being a good ranger,” she then indicated one with a leaf on it, “This one is for all the astronomical records I mail in,” she indicated a bottle cap with a star, “And this one is for last year’s fire,” she finished, with one that had a stylized flame on it.
“And if they’re medals, why don’t they have any pins or ribbon parts on them?” Applejack asked. For some reason the room seemed to be getting bigger.
“I’m… umm,” Fluttershy looked around, “Maybe it’s a ‘do-it-yourself’ project? I thought my superious would be thoughtful enough to give me something to do. I get so lonely being here in this watchtower. Sometimes it’s like you’re the only pony who visits me.”
“Well, your first hint should be if your boss gave them to you. Did he?” Applejack asked.
“Umm… no. I thought he left it by the road, like a scavenger hunt. Why else would all those toys and candy be on the road?” Fluttershy asked.
“… that actually solves why Applebloom an’ her friends keeps on goin’ on about a ghost in the watchtower. But how do you get paid? Does Ditzy Doo give your checks to you in the mail?”
“… I get paid?” Fluttershy asked, genuinely confused.
“Oh come on!” Applejack yelled, feeling outraged. “Don’t you go into Ponyville to buy groceries and food and stuff?”
“Well, you let me have some of the apples and vegetables from your farm. And you bring me so many wonderful things! Especially when I ask nicely. And there’s so many things left on the side of the road, and there are a lot of delicious plants and berries in the Everfree if you know where to look and what’s not poison. It also helps to know where all the obvious death traps are,” Fluttershy said, with entirely too much certainty. It seemed as though her voice was getting lower, and Applejack was straining her neck to look up at her.
“Oh my Faust you can’t honestly be sayin’… wait a moment, you’re Ranger Fluttershy. Of course you can,” Applejack started pacing. “You’ve been doing this since you were a filly, and everypony has been asking about the Ranger. And I keep tellin’ them it’s fine every since I took over on checkin’ on the Rangers from Granny Smith. And Granny Smith has probably been saying the gol’ darn thing. I just kept on assumin’ that you were needin’ little things instead of everything , and besides those art and photo supplies that I give you for special occasions and those books you ask for every now and then you live a very modest lifestyle. What the hay have you been doing all this time?”
“I’ve been cataloguing and observing the wildlife and natural processes in the Everfree Forest. It’s really quite fascinating. I’m almost done with my seventh book, and I’ve even made a few educational cartoons for if I ever get children to visit!” Fluttershy said, clopping her hooves in excitement for finally sharing her projects. Unfortunately, from Applejack’s perspective, Fluttershy was already larger than Big Mac with a voice several octaves too low. “I’ve always been so proud of them! I do all the drawings and voices. That equipment to make the film reels and the recordings are the best Hearth Warming Eve gifts that anypony could ever ask for. You are the best friend I’ve ever had, Applejack.”
“I think I’m trippin’,” Applejack said, realizing what’s going on with a sudden lucidity. “I haven’ tripped this badly since I was a student at Bale. Fluttershy, why am I trippin’? What did you put in my tea?”
“Well, umm… I ran out of tea leaves, but I found this pretty blue flower in the Everfree that I had already proven wasn’t toxic. So I… um… improvised?” Fluttershy replied, with a sheepish smile on her face. She was entirely too cute for someone who now had the voice of a blues singer.
“Danggit Fluttershy!” Applejack yelled with a squeek. She then took charge of the situation. “Okay, here’s what we do. We walk into town, casually. Find out what’s been going on with Twilight Sparkle, and see Rainbow Dash about what all we need to do to get your back pay. Then, we’re going to find you some friends.”
“That sounds nice, Applejack,” Fluttershy said, beginning to argue with the farm pony.”But I already have lots of…”
“PONY FRIENDS! Not all these dag-nabbin’ animals from the Everfree!” Applejack yelled back in her tiny, squeaky voice.
“Oh,” Fluttershy replied, visibly deflating. There was a very large thump on the window. Applejack looked up to see a fox slowly sliding off of it, a look of panic across its face. There was another dull thump, presumably from it hitting the deck that surrounded the room and formed a sort of balcony for the watch tower.
“One moment, Applejack,” Fluttershy said, in that strange deep voice, before walking outside the door. “ANGEL THEODORE BUNNY! I’M VERY DISSAPOINTED IN YOU!” She yelled down. There was some chittering going on from below, which Applejack was sure were actual words. “HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THE CROCHET MALLET TO BEAT AROUND OUR CARNIVOROUS FRIENDS!? THEY’LL GET THE WRONG IDEA AND NEVER VISIT US AGAIN!” Straining her ears, Applejack could almost make out the words in that wierd screaming that started up. "JUST BECAUSE I AM NOT YOUR BIOLOGICAL MOTHER DOES NOT MEAN I AM NOT YOUR REAL MOM!"
“Oh my Faust,” Applejack moaned, taking off her hat and burying her face in it. “That's too much like Fluttershy to be the drugs. Is everypony in this town crazy, or are me an’ Dash just the weirdness magnets?”
[Author's notes: Continuing thanks goes to the Space Battlers who read over my thread and provide input. Thanks is also to be had to everyone here who posts comments. I realize that I don't reply back often, mostly to keep all the premadona BS to a minimum, and I know that I can't please everyone, but for the most part your comments have been helpful and entertaining.
For the most common complaints: Yes, I realize that there are pacing issues. This is the longest story I've written yet, and the first to surpass the mark that most publishing houses consider 'novella legnth'. I'm trying to slow the story down a bit without getting into the trap of letting the story stall. There will likely be more editing down the road, but for right now I want to see this through to the end instead of getting stuck fussing over the detail like a nest-building Rarity. The fact that I'm releasing this like most fan-fics, as a serialized story instead of one big novel(la), also doesn't help when compared to professional standards.
An SBer by the screenname of RK_Striker_JK_5 has made this fic a a TVTropes page . I used to find editing tropes pages a lot of fun, and some of you might too. Also, please keep it from becoming a hug fest. I'm a big boy, and I need to get used to being poked for when I have to defend my thesis four years or so from now.]
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The Trouble With Time Travel
Chapter 6: Friends and Enemies Were Made That Day
Chapter 6: Friends and Enemies were made that day
Night Mare Moon descended from her flight from the edge of space in a slow, controlled manner. There was no need to hurry, even if she did grow to despise the cold vacuum of her domain. Yet it was all she could do make the accursed creatures stop. It took a full six minutes of being exposed to space to kill them, and even then the fallen princess could tell if they were truly dead or merely sleeping the ill effects of space off.
She had instead decided to teleport them into the old vault in the castle of the Everfree. She would reclaim that castle as a base of operation, and plot the takeover of her sister’s realm. And from there, take over all of Equestria.
Still, there was time to enjoy the view of Equestria. There were many parts best seen up close, many changes. For example: there were those settlements on the other side of the Everfree Forest and its surrounding mountains. The ponies of Equestria were a cautious, timid breed if you discounted certain deviants. Clearly whoever built them was civilized, and she could easily make out several large buildings.
She began to circle around the settlements. Thick plumes of steam rose from the large buildings, something very unlike most pony method of manufacturing. Windmills and patches of large obsidian panels were easily seen from her height in the sky. There were several distinct towns and villages, visible farms being tended to by strange machines. The structures themselves were very pony-like, yet at the same very different. Most were either made of wood or brick, like most Equestrian homes. Some were metal, which was very strange from Night Mare Moon’s perspective. Yet all of them were almost uniformly some sort of box. Sure, there was some variance in the external displays, but it was clear that it was built around some sort of box.
Also strange was the extensive use of glass. It was all so clear and perfect, and whoever built the settlements were able to afford it in such quantities as that they could put it in their houses as a common item. On some of the larger buildings they even put so much of that crystal glass up as to create the illusion of an open space without sacrificing shelter. What a novel luxury!
And the roads! Such magnificent feats of engineering! Instead of cobblestone they were paved with a strange, grey stone that was perfectly smooth saved for some cracks and wear. These roads linked the cities, with others branching out throughout the settlements. Even the unpaved roads had hardly a stump in sight, and all had deep trenches along the sides for good drainage. Night Mare Moon could appreciate such efficiency.
And yet the oddities continued to mount. Strange, metal pony-less carrages drove along the roads, most of them having a cart welded to the back. The creatures themselves were too small to be ponies, or diamond dogs, or any of the number of sentients that Night Mare Moon was familiar with. There was also the use of large metal towers with some sort of cable strung between them, which served some arcane purpose she couldn’t yet fathom. What other oddities and wonders did they have? She decided to land in one of their cities to take a closer look.
They were strange creatures, she noticed as she landed in one of their open parks. First was the fact that they were bipedal, like a baby dragon or a chimpanzee. Like a chimpanzee they had very expressive faces, which clearly showed the awe they held her in and that she so rightly deserved. Unlike those creatures were mostly hairless, save for patches at the top of their heads analogous to a mane, their brows, and for some like male ponies a mustache or beard on their faces. They wore a variety of clothing all over their bodies, generally favoring a sort of denim leg coverings, leather shoes upon what on a pony would be their hindlegs, and tunics of varying styles. These beings seemed very much familiar, although how it was so did not immediately come to mind.
Night Mare Moon displayed her wings for a few more moments after landing, to clearly allow the creatures to take in their majestic beauty. She then pulled them close to her body, smiling as she had their undivided attentions.
“Take me to your leader.”
~ ~ ~
Fluttershy and Applejack made their way to Ponyville at a comfortable pace. Applejack was able to sit on the brim of Fluttershy’s ranger hat, while the pegasus was careful not to step on an errant flower, earth worm or insect. It was not the exercise, or the distance, but the sheer awkwardness of the situation that made the two uncomfortable.
“Umm… Applejack…” Fluttershy began to say in her bass voice.
“What is it, sugarcube?” Applejack asked in her appropriately pitched voice.
“Well… what if this isn’t a hallucination? What if it’s some other side effect of the pretty blue flowers…” the pegasus gasped at the implication. “What if it’s magic? Could it be zebra magic? They use a lot of plants and herbs in their alchemy and medicine.”
“Well, sugarcube, that’s one possible interpretation,” Applejack said. “But at this point I’m reminded of the noted philosopher Renaldo de Cart, who theorized that it was possible that his perceptions were wrong. It could very well be that nothing exists but myself, and all of reality is simply my mind or soul trying to entertain itself. Or it could be that an outside world exists, but all that I perceive is a trick by a mad wizard who’s done put my brain in a jar like a cheesy ol’ SF movie. I can’t be sure of anything ‘ceptin’ that I’m here and I’m thinkin’. Cogito ergo sum, if you’re feelin’ all fancy like.
“But the real reason I’m sure I’m high is ‘cause I’m gettin’ all philosophical like.” She stood up, lightly if dramatically stomping on the brim. “And that just can’t stand! Ah didn’t get my fancy degree just ta walk the stage in a silly gown and funny hat and sit around in a library reading books all day. Ain’t the Apple way, ‘cause an Apple worth their salt solves practical problems!”
“And how do you solve practical problems?” Fluttershy asked.
“With the right attitude, a head for business, and my good friends Bucky McGillycuddy and Kicks McGee!”
“What interesting names! I hope I get to meet your friends,” Fluttershy said. She then became contemplative. “I wonder what their cutie marks are.”
She then heard a gasp from above. “Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy looked up, cause Applejack to slide down her hat. The farm pony managed to jump off unto the ground before the yellow Pegasus was tackled in an overly energetic hug from above.
“Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash yelled, hugging the pegasus tightly. “I haven’t seen you in ages! I mean, I wanted to write to you but they said you moved from Cloudsdale right after took me away to be trained by the Princess. I knew you’d become something like a ranger, heck you were like a sister, no are like a sister to me and that means you’re going to be awesome, just like me!”
Rainbow Dash let go of the mare she declaired to be ‘like a sister’, oblivious to her panting. “So, what's up?”
“Oh… um… you know… stuff…” Fluttershy said in her ridiculously deep voice. Rainbow Dash gave her a confused look, causing the mare to back up a little and try to shrink herself.
Rainbow Dash gave Fluttershy a good look over, before looking the Pegasus in the eyes with that same confused look. “You’re not a colt.”
“Hey, RD!” Applejack yelled, waving her forelegs in the air to get Dash’s attention. Rainbow Dash looked down, seeing the tiny Earth pony.
“I… what?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking between the two. She then stomped the ground, giving an anguished yell as she felt a headache coming on. “What’s going on?!”
“I think I might of caused a problem,” Fluttershy said apologetically, before looking to the ground in guilt. “I’m sorry.”
“Doesn’t matter now, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “RD, am I high or is Fluttershy right about this bein’ all real?”
Rainbow Dash looked down at Applejack, eyes seeming to become unfocused. “What if I’m high? Or asleep,” the Pegasus gave an uncomfortable laugh. “Yeah, I must be asleep. This must all be some sort of bizarre dream.”
“Oh for the love of Faust!” Applejack yelled, before running to Rainbow Dash and jumping up on her back. Applejack then grabbed Rainbow Dash’s mane with her teeth, causing Dash to cry out in pain.
“Ow! What are you doing?!” Rainbow Dash yelled.
“Gettin’ ya’ to snap out of all this! We got ourselves a problem, and I’m bettin’ that a certain unicorn is our only solution!” Applejack yelled back. “Now would ya’ kindly take me an’ Fluttershy to Twilight Sparkle?”
Rainbow Dash nodded. “Okay, I’ll do that. But I’m not promising anything.”
~ ~ ~
Night Mare Moon was escorted to the building of which these ‘humans’ housed their government. It was supposedly a council, elected by the citizens of their towns from the ones who possessed the most merit. It was an admirable attempt at creating a just government for beings who’s divinity preferred to keep a hands off approach much like she used to. The fact that it was very similar to the Earth Pony tribe’s style of governance did allow the pony goddess to stand on somewhat familiar ground.
For the moment she was waiting in a large room. A few bookshelves lined the walls, with the rest of the space being tastefully adorned with human art. The similarities between pony and human sensibilities were astounding, although there were obvious differences in nuances and themes. Human paintings were less stylized, and although they included notable figures and natural scenes they also included a few large machines and a larger than average number of paintings depicting notable hardships in their society’s history.
The table which had occupied this room now stood to the side, and the blankets used to quickly make her seat on the plush carpet was more than adequate for the time being. The lighting was warm, and the red carpet and wood sidings lent the room an organic feel even despite it’s blatantly artificial and utilitarian nature.
The attendants had acclimated to her presence quickly, seeing to it that her basic needs were cared for. They were guarded about certain types of information, such as where they were from, but Night Mare Moon did not feel the need to alienate a potential ally.
Speaking of which…
“You there, human female with blond hair,” Night Mare Moon said.
“Yes, Your Highness?” the woman asked. Night Mare Moon was sure that she introduced herself at some point, but the amazing thing about being thousands of years old is that one develops enough of a poker face to keep from bouncing around giggling like a filly at all of the strange and wonderful things the strange creatures have.
“I was told that you specialized in protocol. Is that correct?” Night Mare Moon asked, making sure that the right not of condescension entered into her voice.
“It’s a useful skill to have,” the woman replied. “Although we’ve never had a First Contact event, so forgive us for any missteps.”
“If you are mindful of your place I shall be mindful of mine,” Night Mare Moon said. “What are the titles that your people use?”
“Governor Chapman is most formally referred to as Madam Governor,” the blonde woman said.
“I see,” Night Mare Moon replied. “Who else shall be at her court?”
“Well… it’s not really a court, but the special session was called, approved and rushed in. We’ve got about a third of the legislature in right now from their day jobs. The Comptroller, Transport and Minerals Commissioner, Commissioner of the General Land Office and most of the Territorial Board of Education managed to make it here as well.”
“Territorial? Your people answer to a higher sovereign?” Night Mare Moon asked, before a man opened the door.
“They’re ready for you, Your Highness,” the man said aloud.
“That question shall have to wait for later, then,” Night Mare Moon declared with an air of finality, before walking through the hallway. Again it was a fairly modest affair, utilitarian as an Earth pony’s council halls but with a few touches of high society as one would expect from the unicorns. Soon she was at the chambers, a rectangular room with numerous long tables and chairs. Some of the humans had tablets of a sort, while others were reading paper or had work on some sort of strange rectangular device. At the front of the room was the same general set-up, a picture of several older human males (patriarchal figures?) and their seal.
“Good afternoon and greetings, Protector Night Mare Moon,” the woman at the podium said. “I am Governor Jacqueline Chapman of the Colonial Territory of Navarro. It is my duty and privilege to welcome you on behalf of the people of Navarro, our mother countries of the United States of America, the Dominion of Canada, the Federal Republic of Germany and the human race.”
“We thank you, Madam Governor,” Night Mare Moon replied, taking on her formal court persona. “We hope to conduct much business for both of our races benefit. What of the current political situation do you know?”
“Fairly little,” the Governor admitted. “Navarro is apparently fairly isolated. We discovered the portals, then we discovered this world. Among others. We settled this world under the assumption that it was fully uninhabited. We never thought to look, quite frankly.”
“A mixed blessing it is that you have, Madam Governor. If it would please this assembly, allow Us to bring you up to speed.”
~ ~ ~
Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Applebloom walked through the streets of Ponyville, mostly happy with how the day was turning out. No new threats from the outside for Rarity, and no school for the three fillies. So far they seemed content to walk around with Rarity, looking at all the ‘cool machines’ and ‘awesome soldiers’. The innocence at which they viewed the camp was endearing to the dressmaking unicorn, and they weren’t causing mischief, so Rarity was content to keep an eye on the three fillies for their respective guardians.
“So why exactly are ya’ going to be takin’ all those summer classes, Scootaloo,” Applebloom asked, as the three made small talk amongst themselves.
“Well, I spent a lot of time in the hospital while they were fixing me,” Scootaloo said. “I know that my heart and a few other parts are mechanical, and a couple of my bones are mostly enchanted mythril now. So I can’t exactly be a normal Pegasus. But it’s cool, since I get to hang out with Sweetie Belle. Nurse Redheart and Lyra are pretty cool too.”
“What does Lyra do?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Oh, all sorts of neats stuff. She built these wings, for one thing,” Scootaloo said, stretching out the appendages. “I need to get them refitted for the growth spurt. These are just to keep me from sticking out too badly, but the next set should let me fly a little bit at a time.”
“It is quite simply amazing what that mare can do,” Rarity commented to the three. “Which is why it is also very puzzling. Her cutie mark is a lyre, not a gear or some other obviously mechanical thing.”
Scootaloo shrugged. “Beats me. She said that ‘Cutie Marks don’t really matter that much.’ I mean, your cutie mark are gems but you make clothes.”
“Well darling, a special talent can only take you so far. You need to broaden your horizons and learn other things to truly make it stand out,” Rarity said. “In any case, here’s the radio tent that you three wanted to see. Just remember that you can not… touch… A THING.”
The three sighed to the older unicorn. “Yes ma’am.” They all said in unison before they entered into the tent.
What they saw was several tables and large stacks of equipment. For the most part there were only one or two unicorns who were tinkering with this radio unit or that. In the middle, though, was Lyra, fretting over a television. She was apparently reassembling the housing, while carefully managing a few wires.
“Warrant Officer Heartstrings…” Rarity began.
“Lyra,” Lyra countered. “Name is Lyra. Just because judge won’t change papers doesn’t mean the fact is false, just not recognized. Argument from authority no way to win debate.”
“Heartstrings, are you in one of those moods you get? Why exactly is there a television in the company’s radio shack?” Rarity asked, ignoring the comment.
“Well, explaining is involved,” she began, before continuing on. “Noticed unusual broadcast. Normally in band that is of limited range, likely bouncing off of ionosphere. Ionosphere supercharged after attack, might have something to do with the Princess’s dissaperance… matter for another time. Signal unusually strong, likely relatively close… just over mountain?
“Unusual pattern, indecipherable… then Insight. Experimental digital transmitting technology. Output not unlike television broadcast, no… is television broadcast. Little development, royal monopoly stymies innovation in field, amateurs disenfranchised by junk band allocation, cartels and military have stronghold, partial reason for enlisting, even then tinkering disapproved of. No matter. No current interface, technology in infancy… so made own interface. Cheated, liberal use of magic to compensate for lack of direct knowledge of encoding, very high energy use and prone to quick degradation. Should be interesting. Always have taken after father when Insight occurs. Mercury’s genius well regarded in magi-tech engineering circles.”
“I see,” Rarity said neutrally.
“You’re being polite.” Lyra countered.
“I am. But I am amazed by what you’ve done. Just noticing the signal could save us a lot of trouble,” Rarity commented. “It’s times like these that I forget why I’m constantly annoyed by you. Well… besides the wild personality shifts… and the mad science… and the theft of property during the mad science… and the conspiracy theories… the breaking and entering… the human fetish… that creepy way you’re always at the same places I am…”
“Thanks,” Lyra said, before blinking. She swayed a bit on her hooves, before finally regaining her balance. “Okay, Insight’s over. By the way, your parents are going to need a new TV.”
“And now I’m reminded of why I am constantly annoyed by you,” Rarity said flatly.
“You love me for my eccentric charm and you know it,” Lyra said playfully, before noticing the fillies. “Hey girls. You want to see what’s on the other side of the mountains that nobody wants to cross because of the gaping wounds in reality from which all monsters are born?”
“Sure!” the three fillies replied egerly. Lyra smiled just a broadly, before pressing the on button with a hoof. At first there was static, which caused her to apply magic to the internals of the television. When the spell matrix didn’t align the way she wanted it to, she then hit the television’s side housing with a forehoof, causing Rarity to wince.
The image on the television screen resolved itself. Two creatures, both of the recognizably dressed in formal business suites, although one was of female cut. They both looked vaguely like hairless apes, one of a light pink and the other of a dark brown color.
“They exist!” Lyra said, wonder in her voice. “They really do exist. All those years… all that fanart…”
“Quiet!” Rarity ordered. “They’re saying something.”
“… Territorial Guard members are to ensure that their issued combat rifles and personal deployment bags are ready. The Maritime Dragoons, QRT and Military Police Regiment have been officially ordered to muster at full strength, and all Regimental Headquarter Companies have been officially called into Stated Active Duty. We repeat that there has been no declaration of war, but the appearance of the alien and the abrupt closing of the wormhole that is our only link to Earth has prompted the government to respond with caution until more information becomes available.”
“… what’s going on?” Sweetie Belle asked, worry in her voice. “They’re trying to appear calm, but the one in the pink suit is almost ready to cry.”
“Some sort of mass mobilization,” Rarity said. “They could be in trouble. Wherever this ‘Earth’ is, it’s probably where they’re originally from.”
“And now to Dr. Jacobson, at the University of Navarro,” the female said, “Dr. Jacobson, what exactly are we dealing with.”
The scene on the television then changed to what they recognized as a university office. “Well, what we have for the first time is something that is truly alien. It appears to be some sort of female equine creature, a mish mash of the mythical unicorn and pegasus.”
A photo of Night Mare Moon then appeared on the screen. “She calls herself Night Mare Moon, Lady Protector of Equestria and Goddess of the Night. As you can see, she is wearing some sort of armor of a clearly artificial origin. We currently believe that it is a sort of ornate, ceremonial armor, since it does not provide protection of what the areas we believe the vital organs are. The damage you see is probably recent, likely from some sort of creature.”
“Is it true that the alien is dangerous?” the male reporter asked. Rarity and Lyra shared a look, and the other ponies in the tent were watching the screen with intent.
“Potentially, yes,” the scientist said. “Her horn is as sharp as a kitchen knife, and she can probably run through a full grown adult if she had the mind to do so. She has also been observed to use some sort of telekinesis to manipulate objects. We’re not even sure what the mane and tail are, but they appear to be prehensile and responsive to the ambient environment.
“Also notice the eyes. I know they look creepy, but see how they’re positioned like a person’s, a cat’s or a dog’s instead of a horse? Herbivores have their eyes positioned to the sides of their heads to increase field of view, and run away from a predator. Predators, on the other hand, have their eyes positioned in the front to allow maximum view of what’s dead ahead for the chase.”
“So you are saying that Night Mare Moon is carnivorous?” the female reporter asked.
“Possibly. We’re observing her now, trying to gather more data. The fact that she’s a sentient limits our ethical options for study. Hopefully we can pry more information…”
“We’re sorry doctor, but a film crew has gained access to the legislative chamber. We’re broadcasting now…”
The scene on the television then switched to some sort of large chamber, just as promised. A number of humans filled the seats, but at center stage was an alicorn.
“… And so the Sun Tyrant Celestia saw in her infinite wisdom to banish Us to the Moon, and subjugate all goodly ponies under her authoritarian rule. No longer would the three tribes be sovereign, nor would ponies be allowed to rule themselves! There would be no more Unicorn Monarchy, Pegasus Senate or Earth Pony Parliament, but one rule! Her rule! The very thing we sought to prevent she embraced, and…”
Lyra had enough tack to turn the volume down to zero, allowing them to see the rant without hearing Night Mare Moon’s agitation. “We need to tell the Captain.”
“Not just the Captain, but it’s a good start,” Rarity agreed. “Get somepony to find Technical Sergeant Scratch Pad and have him transcribe everything. Against my better judgment, would you mind keeping the girls out of trouble while I find Captain MacIntosh?”
“Not at all,” Lyra agreed. “Radiopony Resistor, go to the bar and find Scratch Pad.”
The male unicorn nodded, setting his project aside and running off. The other unicorn continued with his work. Rarity gave her Lyra a small smile of appreciation before running off herself, leaving the green unicorn with the three fillies.
“So, what do we do now?” Scootaloo asked.
“Well, I was thinking about your wings…” Lyra said, grinning at the three. “Should Scoot have normal wings, awesome wings, or creepy awesome wings?”
“Umm… I think that’s her decision,” Sweetie Belle said.
“I kinda’ agree,” Applebloom said. “And I’ve only just met Scootaloo, so I can’t rightly make a suggestion.”
“Hmm…” Scootaloo said, thinking. “Tough call. If I go all mechanical, would there be enough room for the talismans to do really cool things? And can I get it in black? Or rainbow?”
"Well, tell me what you'd like to do," Lyra said, grinning at the other two. "You two can pitch idea to me as well. We can maybe get a good brainstorm, teach you fillies a few things... science can be fun, after all."
~ ~ ~
“Does thou knowest what a truth table is?” Luna asked, in the front of a lecture hall.
Twilight knew. Twilight knew that she knew, but she couldn’t remember what was being asked. It was frustrating, infurating, but she could not lie to the oft misunderstood princess of the night. “Umm… no?”
“'TIS THE TABLE WE BREAK MATH UNDERGRADS ON!” Luna declared, magically pulling the cover out of the countertop. The table had tape arranged in grid like lines on it, ‘p’s, ‘q’s, ‘r’s, ‘T’s, ‘F’s and a number of stranger symbols like ⋀, ↔,~, and ≡. With a flick of magic the princess turned the symbols into solid objects, the pointy ends of which went straight into the air. Then magic gripped Twilight, and she was yanked from her desk and made to hover above the point symbols.
“WHAT ARE THE SET ADIQUET CONNECTIVES IN SENTENTIAL LOGIC?!” Luna demaned with sadistic glee.
“I DON’T KNOW!” Twilight yelled. She was speaking the truth, the knowledge evaded her and she was more focused on trying to break the grip of the Princess’s magic. Yet even with all her power, Twilight remained as powerless as when she was a foal.
“WHAT ARE THE MOST COMMONLY USED EQUIVALENCES IN THE SYMBOLIC ALGEBRA?!” Luna demanded again, this time raising Twilight into the air. Twilight struggled, although it was in futility.
“I DON’T KNOW!” Twilight yelled again, scared witless and on the verge of tears.
“HOW DOES ONE CONSTRUCT A KARNAUGH MAP?!” Luna demanded again, using her magic to press Twilight against the ceiling of the lecture hall.
“I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW! I JUST DON’T KNOW!” Twilight cried, tears flowing freely. “I JUST WANT TO READ MY BOOKS! LET ME GO! PLEASE LET ME GO!”
“As thou wishest,” Luna said, with an air of finality. The magic grip was released. It took Twilight a fraction of a second to notice this, to realize that she was falling to her death, to know that her ignorance cost her her life.
Twilight screamed.
~ ~ ~
Twilight woke up screaming. The magic manifested itself through her horn, and overloaded the monitoring devices that were connected to her by the wires and pads scattered across her body. Sparks flew across the hospital floor, although thankfully nothing caught fire.
“Whoa there, sugarcube! I was just going to ask you what’s going on, not torture you or anything.” A tiny, high pitched voice said to her right.
Twilight’s breathing was still hard and raged. She looked down, wondering where the voice was coming from. What she saw was a tiny orange earth pony, her mane and tail tied up in ponytails and wearing a brown Stetson hat, sitting on a small wooden table that had a vase of flowers..
“… Applejack?” Twilight asked. She then looked at the door. “Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash? What’s going on? Did Applejack get into some Poison Joke?”
“I was goin’ to ask you that,” Applejack said. “What’s really going on, I mean. But first, I think proper introductions are called for. Who are you?”
“We… we went over this. I’m Twilight Sparkle, and I’m a student of Princess Celestia sent here to…”
“WRONG ANSWER!” Applejack yelled, stomping her hooves into the wood. “If you know us so well then you know I've got a knack for seein' if folk are being honest-like. You ain’t lying completely, but you’re hidin’ something. You go on acting like you know everything, and then turn up surprised when things don’t go the way you think they should. And you’re all familiar like with ponies you haven’t even met or know, especially since that doesn’t line up with the Twilight Sparkle everyone who’s ever come into contact with her remembers.
“Now you’ve grown to an unnatural size in a short time, and are startin’ to look like a Princess proper. Gangly as a filly after a growth spurt, but bigger than most. Whatever you’re doin’ or sayin’ ‘bout bein’ Twilight Sparkle ain’t the whole truth. I’d be willin’ to let sleepin’ dogs lie, ‘cept now too many things are going on that could hurt my kin folk or my friends.
“So I’m going to ask you again, before I start becomin’ truly unkind to ya’. Who are you, really?”
Twilight looked between the three, and the panicked Nurse Red Heart in the doorway, before sighing. The way Twilight looked between the three was as an old friend, reminiscing about better times.
“You want the truth?" she asked, giving each of them a smile before closing her eyes. "Okay then. My name is Twilight Sparkle. I am a Doctor of Magic, the Chancellor of Ponyville University, Agent of the Royal Princesses, the Element of Magic... and I am stuck in a time and place where my best friends in the whole universe don't remember me. I'm just a tired old mare who just want to read some books in peace.”
"Aww... you poor thing," Fluttershy said, walking up to the bed and giving Twilight a gentle hug. Twilight hugged the pegasus back. Rainbow Dash walked to the bed as well, happy to show solidarity with the group.
"Well, that just raises more questions then it answers," Applejack said, hopping onto the bed as Fluttershy let go of the hug. "But it's a start. Now, tell us exactly what all is goin' on?"
~ ~ ~
1) Itching along the feet, calves and groin area.
If left untreated after transformation Poison Jock can also be transmitted via body fluids.
[Author's notes: I may be doing some editing on previous chapters.]
The Trouble With Time Travel
Chapter 7: The Last of the Preparations
[Author's note:
Fair warning, first. The first part of this chapter is parliamentary procedure.]
Chapter 7: The Last of the Preparations
“AND THUS WE WOULD URGE ALL GOODLY LIFEFORMS TO JOIN WITH US, AND GIVE BIRTH TO A NEW LUNAR REPUBLIC!” Night Mare Moon declared at the top of her impressive voice. Fortunately the effect was somewhat dampened by the fact that the ponies in the temporary center of government for Equestria were viewing it through a television, although most of the humans were clearly wincing at her volume. Those that were not looked grave, save for a few that were openly snickering for some reason.
“Ven vill ve tell ze little horsy zat ve already have one of those? And zat’s just the moon colony that openly succeeded from ze Chinese.” a voice to could be heard.
“Your mic’s on,” another voice said.
“I do not hear ze mike.”
“The audio’s been cut from the chamber, but it’ll be on the television.”
“Oh. So zat’s why zat light is green!”
Rarity was in the temporary royal office, as was Lyra. Prince Blueblood stared at the television, unsure of what to make of it all. Mayor Mare seemed equally baffled. Their agent, Octavia, was as unreadable as ever. The brown earth pony Scratch Pad was scribbling every word down in that shorthand that he gained fame for. Lyra, for her part, was physically exhausted, having to replace the set twice already. The three little fillies were still with them, occasionally becoming enraptured with the television but for the most part enjoying being so close to a place with a lot of different things happening.
One thing that Rarity noticed since this began was that the chamber seemed to be filling up with more humans, in various forms of attire. Most were wearing attire that she recognized as being formal, or at least businesslike. Some seemed more casual, and a few seemed so rustic and utilitarian in her eyes that they would probably fit in well with Sweet Apple Acres.
There were also a larger number of guards. Quiet a few, in fact. Enough for a princess at court. Rarity found that she could at least approve of their taste in uniforms and their currently silent display of discipline. Grey pants did not clash with the high colored green coats, and those coats in turn were adorned in golden embroidering on the collar and sleeves. Gold was also included in the buttons and the epaulettes, and a white sash with a large gold buckle in the center. Leather calf high boots were also used in their uniform, as were black leather and gold decorated ‘jocky caps’ with white and red plumage. It was probably a display of elite status within the unit, as well as their wealth. Foreign, but not alien in the slightest.
Most peculiar were their weapons. A few had curved silver sabres, flashy but the sort of sidearm one would expect. Most of the guards were shouldering what appeared to be a miniature gun, about 40 inches in length, which could be held in two hands. It was perhaps the most alien element, practically useless to anything without their fingers and made of black metal and an unusual sort of black plastic.
There was an awkward silence. A few of the humans in the chamber talking among themselves. Prince Blueblood was fidgeting from where he sat.
“They’re being quiet. Is quiet good? Is it about? Are these things going to ally with the enemy? Are they our enemies?” Blueblood asked with nervous energy.
“Your excellency,” their Governor began, clearly trying to remain composed and break the silence in as tactful a manner as possible. “I appreciate being brought up to speed as to the current events of our newfound neighbors, as I am sure my fellow colleagues are. However, we need some elaboration. You want the Colonial Territory of Navarro to ally with you and to provide material and military aid in your efforts to enact regime change against what you have present as an illegitimate government. Am I mistaken?”
“You are not, Madam Governor,” Night Mare Moon said. “We see much potential in your people, and wish to bring them in. If not as partners, then as close friends. But time is of the essence.”
“I’m afraid the decision is not in my hands,” Governor Chapman said.
“Of course. You may communicate with your sovereign and extend to them Our greetings,” Night Mare Moon said in an understanding tone.
“I’m afraid I cannot do that either,” the governor replied. “Not out of unwillingness, but inability. As we have mentioned previously, we are not native to this world. We arrived by means of a phenomina known to our people as a wormhole. That wormhole has collapsed, and we are cut off from our homelands.”
“A most unfortunate turn of events,” Night Mare Moon said. “But that simply means that it imperative to make a decision. Shall you side with us, Madame Governor.”
“I’m afraid, again, the decision is not in my hands,” the governor stated.
“We grow impatient with your stalling. Are you not the governor of this territory? Do you not rule these people on behalf of your sovereign? Or are you so weak a viceroy that you need to be tended to as a small foal?” Night Mare Moon challenged.
“I am the Head of Government, and the Commander and Chief of the Militia and the Division of Rangers. But I do not make decisions in regards to our sovereignty. The lawfully selected representatives of the electorate will,” the governor said. She then looked over to her right. “Dan…”
“Jack,” the Lt. Governor replied, before standing up. The governor let him take the podium, and he cleared his throat.
“An issue has arisen that is beyond the legal scope of this Legislature. Wherein we have been cut off from our homelands, wherein we have been contacted by an alien, foreign power seeking an alliance, and wherein the question of sovereignty still remains on the tabled, and wherein the Treaty of Austin and the Navarro Territorial Charter does lay down the authority of a congress and the calling of a congress, the Governor has thus suggested that a Congress therefore be called. Is there a motion from this joint special session of the legislature to call forth a Congress?”
The camera shifted, showing a man in a blue button shirt. “The Representative from District 8 motions to call forth a Congress in regards to the current emergency.”
The camera shifted again to a woman in a black dress. “The legislature is empowered to deal with the emergency. And this situation shows exactly why we must move on from your Texan obstructionism on certain crucial matters. The Senator from Orleans County motions to call forth a Congress in regards to sovereignty and nationhood.”
It shifted again to a man wearing a plaid shirt and Stetson hat. “That issue can be tabled for another day. The Senator from Gun Town and Mathew’s Ranch motions that a Congress be called forth to establish formal diplomatic contact with Equestria and expand our universitys’ exploration programs in light of recent discoveries and circumstances.”
Another shift, this time to a man in a suit. “Ze Represtative from District 11 sees no reason vhy ve cannot decide on both things at once.”
Another shift, another person, an olive skinned woman in a red and white business attire in particular. “The Representative from District 1 agrees. We cannot make a binding treaty on our own behalf if we are not a nation in our own right, and regardless of what we decide it is obvious now that we are not alone.”
“Does this motion please the Senator from Orleans County and the Senator from Gun Town and Mathew’s Ranch?” The Lt. Governor asked.
“I find it acceptable.”
“As do I.”
“A motion from this joint special session of the Navarro Legislature has been put forward to call forth a Congress to determine the issue of nationhood, establish contact with the nation styled Equestria, and to expand current exploration programs with an eye towards finding other thinking beings. Madam Secretary, do we have a quarom?”
“We do, Mister President.”
“Then a vote shall be put forward. Please indicate a vote yea, nay or abstaining through your terminal now.”
There was another moment of silence, which stretched for half a minute. The screen then showed a list of names, divided into the categories of ‘yea’, ‘nay’, ‘abstaining’ and ‘absent’, listing party affiliation and district.
“The vote had been determined to be 53 yea, 11 nay, 4 abstaining and 7 absent. The 4th Navarro Colonial Congress shall commence at eight o’clock in the morning tomorrow. This special session of the Legislature is now abjourned.”
“Finally. Now can bring some good sense to these bumblers and rednecks.”
“Why do people keep on forgetting that we have these things called microphones that lets them be heard to people not around them?”
From that one comment the chamber soon devolved into a flurry of yelling as every personal and ancestral grievance were aired out. The focus was on Night Mare Moon, looking around confused and wondering what exactly she had gotten herself into. When it switched to the podium, the Lt. Governor was banging his gavel against the wood block loudly while yelling. The Governor had leaned forward, covering her face with her hands in frustration and shame. For some reason Rarity could almost hear her say something about desirable objects, and why they cannot maintain possession of said objects.
Lyra turned down the television once more, likely trying to save herself a headache.
“How charmingly liberal,” Octavia deadpanned. “Your majesty, I believe Equestria has all the time needs.”
~ ~ ~
“… and that’s how I got here.” Twilight concluded, laying back down against the bed and closing her eyes.
She felt exhausted. A part of it was a side effect of her spell, as forcing so much foreign magic and growing so quickly was very tiring. But it was also emotionally exhaustive. She had believed that she had travel through time. Actually explaining things, though, and hearing the differences from her… from this version of her friends… lead to another conclusion.
‘What if the many worlds theory is true?’ Twilight asked to herself. ‘What if I’m never going home.’
“Well, I’ll admit that’s a bit of a tall tale,” Applejack said. “But at the very least ya’ believe that you’re telling the truth.”
“Everything’s been going crazy, so might as well this thing go crazy too,” Rainbow Dash said, before looking between Fluttershy and Applejack. “So… what exactly happened to you two anyway?”
“Oh, well, um…” Fluttershy said in her deep, manly voice.
“Fluttershy made some sort of strange tea that did this to us,” Applejack said.
“It’s poison joke,” Twilight said, still not opening her eyes. “Puns, actually. ‘Appletiny’ and ‘Flutterguy’.”
Rainbow Dash snorted a little in laughter, earning a harsh look from Applejack and an embarrassed blush from Fluttershy. “What?” the blue pegasus asked. “It is kind of funny. I can go ahead and fly to Zecora’s and she can brew an antidote.”
“I wouldn’t just go to the Everfree,” Twiligth said, looking between the trio. “Night Mare Moon retreated there the last time we confronted her. This time she’s just as likely to have traps prepared.”
“Well… that makes sense…” Rainbow Dash said, figiting. “But it doesn’t feel right to just leave her there.”
“Zecora…” Applejack said quietly to herself. “Sounds like a Zebracan name. Sweet Apple Acres has an export deal to their lands, and they can’t get enough of our cider.”
“I wouldn’t mind meeting a zebra…” Fluttershy said quietly to herself.
“How exactly do you know Zecora?” Twilight asked.
“It was a… night flying accident,” Rainbow Dash said, earning a look of curiosity from Twilight. Rainbow Dash began to look uncomfortable, almost backing away from Twilight. “She helped me out when I needed it the most. Let’s just leave it at. Please?”
“Okay,” Twilight yawning a bit.
“You look tired,” Fluttershy said. “Maybe we should come back later.”
“I agree with Fluttershy. Ya’ need your rest. We don’t need ta’ run off half-cocked when we still got the sun an’ all,” Applejack said.
“I’ll need more information. A lot more,” Twilight said. “I’d like to walk in with a bit more of a plan than ‘go towards the old castle and hope for the best.’”
“We’ll see what we can do,” Rainbow Dash said. “See you later?”
“Sure,” Twilight said, laying back down. She could hear the three leave, and a muffled greeting.
“Lunch time,” a feminine voice said from the door. Twilight assumed it was one of the nurses. She heard her pushing a small cart as well. “You look beat. Need another blanket?”
“That would be nice,” Twilight said. She could hear the rustle of fabric, and soon felt another blanket fall over her. The nurse then adjusted it for her. “What’s for lunch?”
“My own special recipe. Why don’t you see for yourself?” the nurse asked.
Twilight nodded, bringing herself to open her eyes and look at whatever the nurse brought. The nurse seemed familiar, until the sudden realization hit her. Her pink fur seemed dull, and she was wearing a curly black wig, but it was obvious that it was none other than Pinkie Pie wearing a nurse’s gown and hat. She had a manic look on her face that frankly scared her, holding a tray of pastries in her hooves.
“WHO WANTS CUPCAKES?!”
Twilight laughed nervously. “Oh… well… I can’t… I mean, it’s so late... I mean, early... and I'm so tired…”
“Oh Twilight, you're treading dangerously close to o/~heresy o/~ . 'Cause it’s never too late for cupcakes,” insisted Pinkie, taking one and stuffing it in Twilight’s mouth. Twilight tried to crew, but it was too much at once and didn’t taste that good, so she spat it out over the side of her bed.
“Aww… now you’ve made a mess,” Pinkie Pie said.
“Dear Celestia, what’s with you Pinkie?!” Twilight asked. “And why did that cupcake taste like flavored chalk?”
“Oh you silly goose, the cupcakes are cellular polypeptides! With mint frosting! They’re good for you ‘cause they have polypeptides and electrolytes and stuff,” Pinkie said, setting the tray on the bed. “But I heard everything because I hear everything and boy I gotta tell you your story is a doosie. But you’ve had a biiiiiig growth spurt so you’re a growing pony, which means you’ve got growing pony needs and need to be eat right and stuff and things and stuff. But all going to be okay because you’re Aunt Pinkie is here to help her little cousin! Now let me going and find the doctor so that we can get some those itchy wires and stuff off of you.”
Pinkie Pie began to bounce on her hooves, and quickly left the room.
“Wait,” Twilight yelled. “That’s completely unnecessary! AND I’M THIRTY YEARS OLDER THAN YOU!”
~ ~ ~
It was evening in Ponyville. The sun was setting, painting the sky with majestic hues of orange and yellow. There was a fair showing of red, more than usual, which the weather ponies believed to be from the fires in Canterlot. The city no longer faced the threat of being razed wholesale, but the fires were enough to destroy many important government offices and cultural artifacts. For now Equestria was a nation with two capitols, the de jure seat of government where the parliament and the majority of the bureaucracy performed their work, and the de facto resident of the sovereign.
During a normal day the city of Ponyville would be winding down, it’s residents preparing to enjoy an evening with their family and friends. Instead the city bustled with work. Soldiers sent to protect the Prince were put to work rather than be left to patrol and sit in garrison. Themselves and numerous contractors were busy assembling temporary buildings so that those attending to Prince could live and work in relative comfort without quartering in the homes of Ponyville’s residents.
The restaurants were busy preparing meals for the new ponies in town. Pegasus couriers darted across the sky, sending letters and bringing cargo. The roads of the city were already filled with drawn wagons and carriages bringing with them a variety of goods and supplies.
Through this mess walked a small collection of ponies. Most of them were in the ornate golden armor of the Royal Guard. Four in particular stood out, however. Blueblood, the man they were protecting, Rarity, who Blueblood was talking with, and Lyra, who appeared worn out and simply along for the ride. Octavia walked along as well, silent and observant as always.
“I must admit that I have admired your performance during this crisis, Lieutenant Belle. Of both yourself and the ponies of your militia,” Blueblood said.
“Oh, you flatter me,” Rarity said. “My ponies do deserve it, though. Even Warrant Officer Heartstring’s…”
“Lyra…” the mint green unicorn half heartedly corrected.
“… ingenious devices made from stolen parts.”
“Yes. The signals corps has detected a very large amount of transmissions, now that they know what to look for,” Blueblood said. “And I’ve contacted the Royal Academy. The transcripts and recordings that have been taken thus far are being analyzed by the nation’s equinologists. So at the very least the diplomats will be ready for ‘first contact’.”
“An ugly phrase for what should a magnificent event,” Rarity said. “I am worried, however. If their documentaries are anything to go by, this ‘Navarro’ would be a formidable military opponent.”
“That’s not the worst of it,” Blueblood said. “There is a larger geographical issue, which will have its own political implications. Think about it Lieutenant. A strange group of beings happens to show up in the disputed lands of the Principality of Equestria and the Griffonic Empire, an area seemingly healed from the scar left upon it by the Last War, which is now on the verge of declaring itself a full and independent nation. A republican one, at that. And the first pony they meet is none other then that pretender who did something to Auntie.”
Rarity made an uncomfortable noise. “The Griffins wouldn’t think…”
“I’m not sure,” Blueblood admitted. “I’ll have to find some ponies to start working on that contingency. When they aren’t working on how to contain Night Mare Moon.”
“How is that coming along?” Rarity asked.
“My generals and your captain are deciding what to do,” Blueblood said. “The generals are impressed with Captain McIntosh’s knowledge of theory, and the Ponyville Milita has more field experience then most companies of regulars.”
“Surely you’re joking,” Rarity said. “All we’ve done is our part.”
“Risking your lives and sacrificing your treasure to contain that,” Blueblood said, point a hoof at the Everfree forest. “There was a very good reason that our people have abandoned the Old Capitol, so do not sell yourself short. The ponies here are far more noble then the titled courtiers. And you are a lady of considerable talent.”
“Oh, well, I…” Rarity stuttered, flustered at the compliment, before giving a nervous laugh.
“Just kiss already,” Lyra groaned out, earning a sharp look from Rarity. “What? I’m tired and it’s not like I’ll get a promotion anyway.”
“And now we are at your destination,” Blueblood said, giving a wave to Carousal Boutique. “It has been wonderful making your acquittance, Lieutenant Belle.”
“And it is my pleasure to make yours, Prince Blueblood,” Rarity said, giving him a slight bow.
“And don’t worry about my safety. Agent Octavia is more than scary enough to prevent any harm from coming to myself.”
“I’m right here, your majesty,” Octavia deadpanned.
“Most excellent. Then I know that you’ll hear the compliments I give you. Now, the Baroness of Everfree has requested an audience and I do not wish to leave her waiting. Good day to you both.”
The group began to walk off, heading in the general direction of hospital. Lyra at least had the good sense to collapse after royalty walked out of eyeshot.
“Don’t you have your own home to go to?” Rarity asked suspiciously.
“Bonbon’s boyfriend’s in from Canterlot,” Lyra said. “I do not want to wake up to them… well… let’s change the topic. Where’s your sister?”
“With Captain Macintosh. They’ll be here for a sleepover later,” Rarity thought for a moment. “I suppose I could use an extra set of hooves.”
“Thanks,” Lyra said, slowly regaining composure. She then looked up, for some reason. Rarity followed the direction of the look, and noticed a certain blue pegasus flying down.
“Hey,” Rainbow Dash said. “So, since you’re both in uniform…”
“We’re off duty,” Rarity responded.
“Oh thank Faust,” Rainbow Dash said in relief. “Listen, I’m running damage control right now. Pinkie Pie’s trying to take care of Twilight Sparkle. Applejack’s smaller than Applebloom right now because of a magic plant, and she’s demanded an audience with the Prince. My friend Fluttershy has gotten into the same plant and doesn’t know the first thing about dealing with other ponies. She also sounds like a blues singer.”
“And what am I expected to do?” Rarity asked.
“I don’t know!” Rainbow Dashed almost yelled in frustration. “It’s like I’m the only sane pony left. First I find out that Applejack has some obscure title, and then I…”
“Wait,” Lyra said, confused. “Applejack? I thought Granny Smith had the title.”
“She passed it on to Applejack,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Big Mac just wants to play with magic and numbers and to raise apple trees. And do the whole ‘run the town militia’ thing I guess.”
“Hold on,” Rarity said, quickly catching what everyone else is saying. “Applejack is titled? I knew she was effectively head of the Apple Cartel, but not nobility.”
“Yeah. Baroness Everfree, apparently,” Rainbow Dash said, noticing the look of shock on Rarity’s face. “I know! I live on her farm and even I didn’t know about it. So now there’s going to be a big mess of confusion and…”
“Say no more,” Rarity said. “Heartstrings…”
“Lyr… why do I even try anymore?”
“I’ll need you to foal sit again,” Rarity said. “Consider it payment for your imposition on me tonight. Rainbow Dash, where do you need me most?”
“Hospital. AJ’s convinced that Twilight has some big plan. Twilight’s just about ready to burst into flames. I know a back way. If we hurry, we can get there before the Prince does and get Pinkie to start acting normalish again.”
~ ~ ~
Twilight Sparkle was at the end of her rope, literally and figuratively.
The room bustling with activity. Pinkie Pie and Nurse Redheart were in a heated argument, and it looked like Redheart was three steps away from taking a needle full of sedatives and shoving it into Pinkie’s flank. Fluttershy was trying to act as mediator, but so far her stuttering efforts did little to defuse the situation. Applejack was content to sit on the heart monitor, watching the situation with detached interest.
That did not help Twilight in the least. She was bandaged like a mummy, her legs held up by some contraption. She tried to struggle out of it, but Pinkie Pie was freakishly good at binding things. Worst of all, she had a headache.
“But your majesty, surely you need more time,” she could hear Rarity say in the distance.
“IT’S A FREAKIN’ MADHOUSE IN THERE!” Twilight could hear Rainbow Dash yell. “I MEAN, I KNOW YOU DON’T HAVE THIS WHOLE ‘PRINCE’ THING DOWN, BUT CAN’T YOU MEET THE COUNTESS SOMEPLACE A BIT MORE REGAL?!”
“YOU NEED NOT USE THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE! I KNOW IT FAR TOO WELL TO BE COMPELLED BY IT! I MAY APPRECIATE THE COUNCIL OF MY AUNTIE’S STUDENTS BUT I AM NOT BOUND TO ACT UPON IT WHEN IT IS OF THINGS THEY KNOW NOT OF!” Blueblood yelled.
It was too much. Blueblood and his entourage were walking into the room. It was too much. Demands were being made, there was yelling all around. It was too much. Now ponies were scrambling around, no regard to for each other or herself.
It was all too much. She was angry, frustrated, tired… the world seemed to turn red. Her bindings broke, her bandages where incinerated with the flames of her fury. Her mane turned to fire and her coat turned to the purest white as she entered in a rare state of rage that few unicorns could achieve.
“SHUT UP!” Twilight yelled.
“Holy manure,” Applejack muttered.
“I HURT!” the flaming pony yelled, her voice gaining an ethereal echo of the divine use of the Royal Canterlot Voice. “I HAVE A HEADACHE! I HAVE A HORN ACHE! MY WHOLE BODY ACHES! I’M TIRED! I’M DEPRESSED! PINKIE PIE WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE! MY FRIENDS ARE CROWDING ME! AND NOW THE MOST USELESS HALF OF THE ROYAL COURT IS HERE!”
“WHAT DO YOU PONIES WANT FROM ME? DO YOU JUST WANT TO SEE ME SUFFER?!” She then turned to Pinkie Pie, pointing an accusing hoof at her. “ESPECIALLY YOU! I AM FAR TOO OLD TO BE FORCED TO DEAL WITH THIS JUVENILE CS! ONE PRANK, FINE! I’M A BIG ENOUGH PONY TO HAVE A LITTLE BACK AND FORTH! BUT THIS SUFFOCATING TORTURE, YOUR SMOTHERING ATTEMPTS AT MOCKING THE HEALTH CARE PROFESSION GOES TOO FAR!
“SO, WHAT DO YOU ALL WANT FROM ME?! ANYPONY?! ANYONE?!!!?”
“Did… is Celestia’s student on fire?” Rarity asked, deathly quiet.
“DID TWILIGHT SPARKLE JUST BURST INTO FLAMES?!” Rainbow Dash yelled out.
“DO WE HAVE ANOTHER GODDESS?!” Prince Blueblood asked, panicked. “Why does this town have a goddess. Why didn’t anyone tell me we have another goddess?! Is she the pretender, or somepony else?”
“QUIET!!!!” Redheart yelled. Although a common earth pony, and a simple medical pony at that, she had years of uncooperative patients to give her voice that needed authoritative edge. Even more, years of being a caretaker had effectively made her Mom. Every pony froze, except for Twilight, who looked around the room before finally returning to normal.
Twilight then screamed in pain. Redheart moved, firmly but gently holding the unicorn to keep her from injuring herself.
“Shhh… everything is going to be alright,” Redheart said, holding the larger pony, letting her rock and cry. “You’ve had a lot of things happen at once.”
“It hurts,” Twilight sobbed.
“You’ve been using too much magic,” Redheart said. “It’s hard, but you need to stop. At this point even simple telekinesis may cause irreparable damage.”
Twilight nodded, still quietly sobbing as everyone stood around the room. There was an awkward silence for about thirty seconds, before Redheart looked sharply at everyone.
“Visiting hours are over,” she said, venom in her voice.
“I’m afraid there’s been a misunderstanding,” Blueblood began. “I’m Prince Blueblood, acting regent of the crown, and…”
“Visting hours… are… OVER!” Redheart said again. “I’m not letting anyone stay unless they’re the Lady Faust as Divine Empress of Ponykind.”
“I’m ‘fraid it’s my fault,” Applejack said, hoping down from the heart monitor and curtsying towards Blueblood. “Your majesty.”
“… Countess…” Blueblood acknowledged. “A very causal meeting between peers, would you not say?”
“It’s how I roll,” Applejack replied. “Guess you’re wonderin’ why I’m so tiny, huh?”
“Among other things,” Blueblood admitted.
“Well, answer has something to do with the Everfree and the Old Capitol. An’ Miss Sparkle here has herself in the inside track as far as book learnin’ an’ plannin’ goes.”
“That’s all well and good,” Redheart said. “But I not allow…”
“It’s okay,” Twilight muttered. She breathed in and out a few times, before sitting up. Despite the tears, she held herself well, her composure more like nobility then a hurt pony or a bookish student.
“I’m very sorry for what happened, and for my outburst. I thank you all for coming to see me,” Twilight began, calm and composed. “But the crisis seems well in hand for the moment and I still need medical attention. We’ll need to mount an expedition to the Old Sister’s Castle in the Everfree to recover the Elements of Harmony. We’ll also need to stop by Zecora’s hut to treat my friends.”
“My staff is already overworked,” Blueblood said. “But I’ll see what preparations I can contribute. It won’t do to have Auntie’s favorite student loss.”
“What of the pretender,” Rarity asked. “The militiaponies may be brave, but against a goddess, even an imposter of a goddess as powerful as Night Mare Moon…”
“The Elements of Harmony will take care of Night Mare Moon,” Twilight said. “But the Everfree has it’s own dangers. I’ll need more information on both.”
“I can help,” Fluttershy offered. She seemed to shrink as everyone turned to look at the soft spoken but deep voiced pegasus. “Umm… if you don’t mind…”
“I don’t mind. In fact, I’m glad you want to help,” Twilight said with a smile, before looking over the assembled group. “There’s a lot that’s different here, but I’m sure that together we can overcome whatever challenges we face. Tomorrow. Right now, I would like to get a bit of sleep.” Twilight then made a small show of getting under the covers of her hospital bed.
“Of course,” Prince Blueblood said. “Come along now, everypony. Lady Sparkle needs her rest, and there are better places to plan.”
The ponies began to filter out of the room, talking amongst themselves. No doubt rumors would spread, but for the moment Twilight didn’t care. Soon all that were left were Pinkie Pie, Nurse Redheart, Applejack and herself.
“So… um… Twilight…” Pinkie Pie began, nervously. Twilight turned her head quickly, staring daggers at the pink party pony. A small meep escaped from her mouth as involuntarily backed up a few paces.
“You want to make this up?” Twilight asked, venom in her voice. Impressively, it surpassed even Redheart levels.
“Um… yes?” Pinkie Pie meekly replied.
“Go to Canterlot. There will be a store, ‘Libra’s Telescopes and Law Offices’. Purchase a Coronado PST and an EQ-1 Equatorial Telescope Mount. Tell Libra that it’s a special order from Sparkle. And bring it back in twelve hours. If I do not have it by then, I swear to Celestia that I’ll…”
“YES MA’AM!” Pinkie said, ramrod stiff, before galloping out of the room.
“Awefully harsh of ya’,” Applejack said, earning a sharp look from Twilight. “I ain’t sayin’ nothin’ needs to be done, but her heart’s in the right place. Poor girl’s gonna to be runnin’ for hours.”
“No she won’t,” Twilight said.
“Ya’ sure about that?” Applejack asked. “Canterlot’s a far clip from here.”
“Yes,” Twilight said, again with venom. “Another headache, for myself and modern arcane science.”
“Well, if you’re suffering from a headache, I have just the cure,” Nurse Redheart said, opening a nearby cabinet. She took two items, depositing them on the bed. One was a tiny circular device in a clear glass case. The other was a tub of cream.
“Analgesic cream?” Twilight asked, reading the label.
“An’ a neck thingy?” Applejack asked, walking over to the case. She gave it a tap with a foreleg. “What is it with you an’ neck thingies?”
“The ‘neck thingy’ is a magical inhibitor. You’ve been using magic too much magic for your current condition, and I wasn’t kidding about causing irreparable damage. Not just to your baseline abilities, but also to your nervous system,” Redheart explained.
Nurse Redheart took it out of the case, and carefully put it on Twilight’s neck in a place where the unicorn couldn’t reach on her own. Already Twilight could feel her magic being restricted. Not suppressed, but all of a sudden even the easiest of cantrips seemed impossible. “It directs magic along the same way as an Earth Pony or a Pegasus, depending on which side of the triangle your family favors. The analgesic cream is my own special blend, for all your little aches and pains.”
“… it’s the one that feels like fire, ain’t it?” Applejack asked.
“The burn means it’s working,” Redheart cheerfully replied. “It’s because it’s part rainbow, you see.”
“Well… thanks… but I feel like…” Twilight began, before yawning.
“Of course. Countess Apple?” Redheart asked.
“I’m commin’, I’m commin’,” Applejack replied, hopping on Redheart’s back. Soon enough the duo left the room and turned off the lights, leaving Twilight Sparkle alone with her thoughts.
Soon enough, Twilight fell asleep, dreaming of simpler and more carefree times.
~ ~ ~
Luna wasn’t quite sure what was going on.
She was like that sometimes, during the moments when she lost control. She was used to using the persona of ‘Night Mare Moon’, adopting the styling of the old mare’s tale from her time to wage her war. But it was these out of body moments, when she felt like a passive viewer watching players on a stage, that she thought of herself as ‘Luna’ once more.
It was a rather disconcerting feeling.
Before she blacked out, she was watching the humans having congress. It was rather like a combination of the old Earth Pony Parliament and the Pegasi Senate, with their own innovations thrown into the mix. For one thing they were less prone to physical fighting. There were “back room” negotiations, some of which she were party to, which seemed to be going along swimmingly. She was willing to allow them to exist as an informal protectorate (she would have the tact not to advertise this to advertise this to the humans, of course), since for all their technology they lacked ‘manpower’, some raw materials and a market to sell their ridiculously excessive bulk agricultural and manufacturing productions.
Now their capitol district was on fire.
There’s something charming about these flames.
If they shall not march with me as their ally they shall bow to me as their overlord.
The soldiers were still there, of course. The ones in the fancy green uniforms were apparently ‘marine dragoons’, while the khaki clad ones were ‘guardsmen’. They had turned their arms on her for some reason. Their aimed fire would have cut down a normal pony, but passed through the semi-ethereal goddess and even hit a few of the fleeing citizens.
How loyal and brave in the face of the impossible. These ‘dragoons’ and ‘guardsmen’ should be commended.
How very foalish. An example must be made.
Magic flowed, engulfing the soldiers in the alicorn’s will. They were thrown into the building, and their screams punctuated the already frantic scene. It was a shame, Luna thought in her detached state. She would of at least offered them a chance in her elite, to lead her heavy infantry in a glorious charge.
There were little else that she was apparently doing, beyond maintaining a shield. Various people were trying to escape the area after her little display, and a greater deal more were trying to enter to respond to the fire. What she could only presume to be firefighters and practicing field doctors were among the most frantic trying to get in, along with the soldiers. Already one of their dashing red trucks wrecked itself trying to ram through the shield, and the rest have attempted to turn their hoses and their guns to break through.
Another valiant display.
Futile. These humans should accept their place.
And so Luna was content to watch a part of the human’s proud city burn. There was little else she could do, and the flames were just so pretty.
At some point during the night, though, Luna was in control of her body once more. Back to being Night Mare Moon. And so she took to the sky, flying to her old home and stronghold.
We’ll salvage this later. It would be a shame for our empire to be incomplete.
The Trouble With Time Travel
Dear audience members,
Thank you for your support and your readership. However, with time and my family’s health situation becoming more stable, I have found that this fic… is really clunky. And using language that would make, to everyone's surprise, Rarity blush instead of Fluttershy, I think the structural problems are so big that I cannot fix it without being an Orswellian editor. It's a glorious failure, and it will stand as it is.
I listened to critiques, read from outside sources, and made the decision to remake my story. This was a first attempt, a wonderful failure on my part. I’ve learned a lot about the craft of writing doing this. I haven’t abandoned the story, but I have… holy Hannah I don’t want to say ‘rebuild’, with Eva fandom and all…
Tolkien once said that his world seemed alive because there was something over the horizon… that by having a mystery the world did not seem constrained or artificial. So I’ve changed a few things. Instead of Twilight Snarkle’s journey being by DisQord, it’s through some unknown providence. The world is both smaller and larger. The novella has been planned out, and the first third of the story has already been completed. (I’m working on the basis of novellas and short stories now, in the vein of ‘The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi’.)
For those of you who haven’t read it yet, give Troubled New Home: What’s Old is New Again a try. It's basically the revised draft of the same story. Even if it doesn't have a TVTropes page, I think it's a lot better.
Again, thank you for your readership and patience.
You're humble eccentric Texan,
