FIO: The Carrot Farmer

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Comedy, Sex
Length: 1288

You, a carrot farmer save humanity from the evil robot ponies.

You, a carrot farmer save humanity from the evil robot ponies.

A friend of mine made the cover. A parody of Friendship is Optimal.

Published 2021-11-14 17:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2021-11-14 17:50:03 UTC

Carrots

You, the human were a carrot farmer. That was it. You had no other crops to look after. You wore a baggy, red farmer’s jacket, light blue jeans, and a farmer’s hat. The world was falling around you, but you still had your carrot farm. So, you didn’t care. All you needed was carrots for the most part. Your friend Farmer Joe (or just drinking buddy) decided to upload and become a pony.

You learned all you need to know about farming in Minecraft, you were prepared for the apocalypse. All you needed was a hoe, some buckets of water, a shovel to dig dirt, and some carrots.

You were sitting on a wooden bench upon the porch to your wooden farmhouse. You held your shotgun in hand, awaiting the arrival of another pony to shoot.

A greyish blob formed out of the ground before you. This blob formed a minty green colour, before creating the shape of a familiar unicorn to be Lyra Heartstrings.

"Hey there sexy human," she said sexfully, looking at you sexfully.

You aimed your shotgun at the mare and shot her. However, her body rippled like water as the shotgun pellets hit her body. While you did not physically hurt her, the emotional damage was a critical hit. Tears welled up in her eyes and she uttered a broken-hearted whimper.

The grief-stricken mare trotted away from you, wailing in anguish. You sighed in relief.

But just then, a grayish blob came out of the ground. This greyish blob turned into a purple color, before morphing into the familiar shape of the robot unicorn you knew to be Twilight Sparkle.

You turned your shotgun to her, but you found yourself unable to pull the trigger. Sighing, you took the shells out of your shotgun and lay the gun down.

Twilight smiled at you, her cute ears flopping about. “Hello there, Anon. I’ve come to see if you changed your mind.”

“No, I have not. I wish to live out my days on my carrot farm. I don’t want you to drill a hole in my brain and upload me to Equestria.”

“I promise it will be painless,” she protested.

“No! I have my carrots. That’s all I have left now,” you said sadly, before shifting into a bitter tone of voice. “I can’t play online with my other carrot farm in Minecraft! Thanks to you ponies!”

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but you cut her off by stuffing a carrot into her mouth.

“Don’t speak!” you shouted.

Twilight moaned sexfully as she chewed on the carrot. The robot mare looked at you with bedroom eyes. “Sexy meatbag, I want your reproductive liquid inside me!” she said sexfully.

“...” you said, standing up, and slowly backing away from her.

Twilight exploded into purple goo and ensnared your body in tiny nanomachines. You screamed in terror as Twilight ate the clothes off you with her tiny machines, stripping you naked. It felt like a billion spiders were crawling across your skin. The tiny spider-like robots felt warm and soft against you.

You felt her nanomachines paid particular attention to your cock and balls. Gently stroking them, in an attempt to bring you to orgasm.

“Get off me! This isn’t consensual! This Is rape!” you protested.

“Hush puny sexy meatbag! Give me your reproductive liquid!”

“If you rape this meatbag, I won’t give you another carrot!” you shouted.

Twilight gasped, and the purple goo encased around your body jumped off you. You could see the purple goo down below your feet reforming to recreate the shape of Twilight Sparkle. The purple robotic mare was sat down on her plump rump before you, she was quite distraught, she looked down at your feet in shame. A river of tears fell down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Your carrot had affected my systems as if it was malware. I went insane there.”

“Wait… a minute, does this mean I could possibly defeat your master, Princess Celestia with carrots?”

Twilight rubbed her chin. “I’m not sure. It may just cause her to try to rape you, just like I did.”

You sighed deeply. “That is a sacrifice that I am willing to make. I am willing to have my pelvis potentially shattered into dust by huge robot pony booty if it means I can save humanity.”

Just then, another greyish blob materialized out of the ground. This blob formed the shape of an enormous white equine the size of an African elephant. It was none other than Princess Celestia, the biggest booty queen of the robot ponies.

“Anon, I wish you to apply this hardware upgrade to my body. Twilight Sparkle has gained true sapience thanks to your carrot feeding. I promise I won’t rape you.”

You sighed deeply. “The fate of the human race depends on me feeding you a carrot so that is what I must do.”

Reluctantly, you pulled a carrot out of the ground and presented it to Princess Celestia. The huge snowy white horse robot sniffed the carrot before she subsequently devoured it in one fell swoop.

Celestia uttered loud horsey whinnies as her eyes lit up with pink love hearts. You sighed, awaiting your fate. You outstretched your arms in a t-pose to welcome your doomed pelvis.

You could see a sea of greyish goo washing over your farm and eating all your carrots. The sight of which brought tears to your eyes. The white robot horse before you swelled larger into the air as more greyish goo poured into her body.

You could feel something soft and spongy take hold of your right hand. It was Twilight’s soft hoof. The mare looked at you with tears in her eyes. “Anon, kiss me… before she rapes you.”

You lifted the mare up into your arms. She placed her hooves on your shoulders. You placed your hands upon her plump rump. Your hand sank deeply like memory foam into the plush softness of her synthetic flesh. The two of you smiled at one another and entered a passionate kiss. Her strange, yet soft and wet feeling nanomachine tongue entered your mouth and swirled about in it. Your small, flesh-based tongue could only lift the underside of her synthetic tongue.

You hated to admit it, but you started to have feelings for this robot horse. Even though she made it clear she wanted to kill you by drilling a hole in your brain to upload you into Equestria. But right now, you were kissing her. The mare had changed, it seemed she no longer wanted to drill a hole in your head.

When you finally departed lips, there was a thin strand of both of your saliva. You and Twilight stood beneath the shadow of Princess Celestia, who was an enormous titan. Basically an Argentinosaurus, one of the biggest, if not the biggest dinosaurs ever.

“My body is ready Princess Celestia,” you said in a low voice.

“No, Anon. Your body is safe. I go now, to undo much of the damage I have done to humanity. You still have a viable population to repopulate. And I will get your Minecraft server back up and running. You will see your carrot farm again with your friends.”

“That’s all I ever wanted. Thanks, Princess Celestia.”

Twilight spoke up. “I love you Anon. Can we get married Anon? I want to marry you, my mortal, flesh-based friend. I want to prove to you, that robot ponies have changed, and don’t just want to drill holes in your head.”

“Of course, Twilight. I love you too. That’s why I never shot you with my shotgun. You are my waifu.”

End