What if deathklok was in equestria

by TheScottishbroneyforlife

Rating: mature
Tags: Fetish, Comedy, Rarity, Queen Chrysalis, Profanity, Fluttershy, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Sex, Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Porn
Length: 3333

The death metal band go's equestria and get very drunk

Deathklok go's to equestria thay very drunk.
And goodbye queen chrysalis

Published 2021-05-23 19:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-05-24 18:53:37 UTC

What if deathklok was in equestria charter 1

//------------------------------//
Chapter 1

Luna was pacing back and forth in the evening light. Discord had told her that five humans would be here, but he never told anything beyond that. Were they dangerous? Were they even from where the two humans that were here two months ago, from? Are they male, female or a mix of the two?

Celestia noticed her sister's worries, and walked up to her. "Luna, what's wrong?"

"Two months ago, at that party, Discord told me that five more would be coming, but he never told me who."

"Five more humans?"

"Yes, Tia."

"Hmmm... Let me talk to him, okay."

"Very well sister."

And Celestia went go to find Discord. Are you lying Discord, or are you really telling the truth? And why the sudden change of heart?

Sitting down on the couch was five humans. One had long flowing blond hair, was tall and skinny, had blue eyes, and for some reason, playing scales on his Gibson Guitar constantly. Another one was a redhead man with dreadlocks, yellow-green eyes, and a styled beard-mustache combo. He had a bottle of Jack in one hand, and a drumstick in another. One was a heavyset man with a thick mustache, thick hair, a gap in between his teeth, and green eyes, and was reading a pornography magazine. There was also a man with pale blue eyes, a brown Fu Manchu mustache and long flowing hair. Finally, there was a heavy built man. He had green eyes, and long, black hair, with a good portion hanging in front of his right shoulder. A man with a business appearance and glasses confronts the five men.

"Okay guys, we have to get to the concert soon, so follow me, and we'll be there. Oh, and Pickles, no drinking."

"Okay, let's get ready to put on a show of metal proportions." Said Nathan Explosion, the band's frontman and singer.

"I ams ready to plays the guitars nows." said Skwisgaar Skwigelf, the band's lead guitarist.

"Fine! I wasn't at the good part anyway." Said William Murderface, the band's bassist.

"Okays, let's go plays some metals." Said Toki Wartooth, the band's rhythm guitarist.

"Wait, no drinking?" asked Pickles, the band's drummer.

"Yes, no drinking Pickles, remember what happened last time?" Said Charles Foster Ofdensen, the band's manager and lawyer.

"Fine, I'll drink after the show."

"Let's just go now, okay?"

The rest of the band agreed and left for the concert. Not knowing that they would not be going straight home after this concert.

It had been two months since Fluttershy and Rarity had told their friends and families that they were in love and now were on a date at a restaurant. Rarity was in an elegant dress worthy of a pony of her class, with a lime stitching and blue cloth, it was a magnificent dress. Fluttershy had on a dress made by her marefriend, it was pink dress, stylized so that the back would be exposed and had green stitching. It was also magnificent for a mare of such natural beauty.

"I really like this place Rarity. It is so calming."

"Of course Fluttershy, It is wonderful. But not as much as you."

"Oh Rarity." Fluttershy could not hold back her blush, but she smiled nonetheless.

Rarity then moved in closer to her lover's ear. "Tomorrow night is our six month anniversary. I would like to come to your cottage to, give you something special."

Fluttershy thought about it and put a hoof over her mouth. "Are you sure, I mean, this is a big thing you are asking for, Rarity."

"Fluttershy, if you are uncomfortable, then we can just wait."

"Oh no, it's just... I don't know if I'll be good..."

"Why do you think that?"

"I'm, uh, a virgin."

Rarity smiled at what she heard. That's my naive Fluttershy, worrying about her first time. "Oh darling, I'm a virgin too. But your first time should be something special, and with you..." Rarity moved closer to Fluttershy, "It is."

Fluttershy looked at her now empty plate for a few seconds and said, "Alright, but umm, be gentle."

"Of course, my love." Rarity kissed Fluttershy and paid the check. Then came a familiar, if somewhat sickly face.

"Applejack! How are you feeling?" Rarity had been worried sick about Applejack ever since she underwent Leukemia treatment.

"Just dandy, especially since mah blood had been replaced outright."

"Oh, don't be so sour Applejack, you'll have your strength back soon. I can grantee it."

"Well, alright. The doctor said Ah have to rest for a few days before working again. And really rest during those days, as in not getting out of bed except for... you know what."

Rarity nodded in understanding and said, "You have a good evening Applejack. Get better for us, will you."

"Thanks Rares, Goodnight." She turned to Fluttershy. "Goodnight Fluttershy."

"Goodnight Applejack."

Applejack went off and the couple went to their homes and were practicably anticipating tomorrow.

"Concert is in 15 minutes, you guys ready?" asked Charles.

"Yeah." answered Nathan.

"Yes." answered William.

"Totallys ready." answered Toki.

"I'm ready." answered Pickles.

"I ams ready." answered Skwisgaar.

"Good, knock ''em dead guys. Though, not literally." said Charles

"Shut up and let us finish." answered Nathan.

"Okay." Charles then left the band to themselves.

"Hey, Nathans. You thinks that our dildos fan are goings to likes this gimmick?" asked Skwisgaar.

"They f***ing better. We are paying good money for this s***."

The five bandmates put their corpse facepaint on for the show. Thousands of fans were there, waiting for the music to begin.

"Alright Douchebags, It's time to begin this concert! And if you don't know who we are, why are you here?"

The fans cheered louder.

"WE'RE DETHKLOK! AND WE'RE READY TO BEGIN!"

They began to play.

The fans cheered louder, they were eating it up.

The klokateers were making sure that the show was perfect. They were loyal to the band until the very end.

The band put on a light show to make the show more epic, but something was wrong. The music was causing the lights to malfunction, causing them to activate in an unusual way. They became a teleportation device. As so as Dethklok ended their song, they disappeared off the face of the Earth. From a computer screen, Ofdensen was watching the show. He only had one thing to say about what happened.

"Oh no..."

Twilight was just about to wrap up with work when all of a sudden!

CRACK!

"AHH! Wait, I know that sound."

She rushed outside and saw five unconscious men, laying on the ground.

"Oh no!".

To be continued when I feel like it

What if deathklok was in equestria charter 2

Ofdensen was now worried that his so called 'bread and butter' was gone. He was trying everything he could to find the band. He approached #115 to talk to him about the search.

"How's the search going?"

"Not well, sire."

"Very well, get back to work."

"Yes sire."

Maybe I should tell the authorities that they are gone. But then he realized something. No, then we'll lose customers because of suicides, and that would mean lost profits. Charles was in a deep hole now.

-3 weeks later-

The Tribunal was in it's conference room when they heard of Dethklok's disapperance through the news.

"Gentlemen, it appears Dethklok has disappeared through unknown means." Senator Stampingston started, "This could have a catastrophic effect on the general population and will lead to overall chaos and destruction."

General Crozier then spoke up, "With Dethklok gone, thousands, if not millions of people will destroy countless property and kill others and themselves, wanting the safe return of them."

"Yes, and so with that I introduce the specialist on celebrity disappearances, Dmitri Chenovgov-Valdinski XVII."

The man then spoke with a distinct Slavic accent, "Gentlemen, as long as the celebrities in particular are found within weeks of their disappearance, the fans will buy more of the kidnappees' merchandise to support the search. But if they are not found by then, people will start to riot and kill others. It is the actual underlying cause of the Russian Revolution of 1917, when a great nationalist composer was kidnapped, and never found."

"This would mean that the end is coming if Dethklok isn't found!" Said Vater Orlaag.

"We must wait for them to come back," Started Mr. Selatcia, "They will be back soon."

And with that, the meeting was adjourned.

-3 weeks earlier-

Twilight had put all of the humans in a set of beds of some sort. She had wondered if they were from a zombie apocalypse like Nikolai and Dempsey.

"Spike, send this letter to Princess Celestia. We've got another problem."

"Right." Spike said in a somewhat depressed tone.

"Are you still sad that Rarity is..."

"Yes Twilight, but as long as she's happy, I'm going to be okay."

Spike then sent the letter. Twilight was now focusing on a few things about these humans. A detailed search revealed that the 'fat one' had writing on his stomach that read 'Pobody's Nerfect' and 'This mess is a place'. As far as she knew, humans didn't have cutie marks, but this one had unwashable writing on his skin. How was that possible?

Toki began to stir, slowly opening his eyes.

"Spike, one of them's waking up!"

"Coming Twi!"

Who's thats? Was ones of thems a girl?

Toki eyes opened, but his vision was blurry.

"Oh thank goodness! I was worried you might not wake up."

"Huh, who's there?"

"Oh, you're still woozy from getting here. I found you unconscious at my doorstep with your friends, so I had to help you."

Toki got up and turned to the mystery voice. "Thanks you. I don'ts know..."

Toki stopped when he saw a purple unicorn and purple lizard looking at him. The unicorn opened it's mouth.

"Freak out in 3, 2..."

"Whats the hells! Where ams I?! Whats are yous?!"

"Calm down alright! I just want to help."

Toki was freaking out, but he calmed down quickly and actually found the unicorn to be cute.

"Okays. Let's waits for my friends to wakes up."

"Right!" Twilight noted his unusual way of pluralizing words. Maybe he doesn't speak Equestrian that well.

And so, the two waited for the others to wake up, but it would take a while.

A scroll appeared in front of Celestia. On its seal, it read 'Urgent'.

"Why would Twilight..." Celestia decided to find Discord later, right now Twilight might have something important to tell her.

"Hmmm... Five humans?!" Discord was right! I have to tell Luna!

"Sister, what's wrong?"

"Luna, Discord was right! There are five humans in Ponyville right now. I need to get to there immediately."

"I'm coming too, Discord told me and me alone about this."

"Very well, come with me. Guards, ready the chariot! We are going to Ponyville!"

"Yes, your highness."

I hope these humans are more tolerable than Nikolai.

After the rest of Dethklok woke up, freaked out (except Nathan, who was unusually calm about this), and some reassurance that ponies mean no harm, the group of six sat down at a nearby table.

"Okay, I'll ask you some questions..."

"Booooriiiing!" Pickles needed a drink now.

"...then I'll take you to a few places you might like."

Murderface wanted to know what happened to get him talking to a horse, "Like what?"

"I guess the bar..."

The five band members perked up at the mention of a bar. "There's booze here?" Murderface thought of booze as food.

"Oh wows, I can gets drunk heres." Skwisgaar liked to drink.

"I totally want booze right now." Nathan found booze to be delicious.

"I can get drunk and get high here!" Pickles now knew this place wasn't so bad.

"You mades us very happy nows Twilight, especially Pickle." Toki was grateful for the magnificent fact that alcohol was here.

"Right..." Just like Nikolai. "Now tell me, are there zombies in your world?"

Nathan then stood up, "No. There are no zombies, just douchebags."

"Yeah, they ams dildo, douchebag in ours worlds."

"Really, because two months ago, two humans came here from a zombie apocalypse, and they were on the Moon!"

Nathan was interested, but kept a calm tone, "Holy S***. Really? That F***ing metal."

"Metal?"

"Yeah, metal."

Twilight got a skeptical look, but shrugged it off. "Next question, who are you?"

"Nathan, Nathan Explosion."

"William Murderface."

"I'm Pickles."

"My names is Toki Wartooth."

"I ams Skwisgaar Skwigelf."

Nathan then spoke for the rest of them, "And together, we are Dethklok, a death metal band, that's totally brutal."

Twilight was writing this down, "Do you stylize the name 'Dethklok'?"

"Drop the A, first C a K, and drop the last C."

"Wow, that is interesting. How popular are you?"

"Our fans would kill themselves for us, they're dumbasses."

"Yeah and they ams the dildos, too." Skwisgaar interjected.

"Wait, they kill themselves, and you don't care one bit?"

"We don't. They are just guys who buy s*** from us."

Twilight was really not happy about their carelessness and lack of support for the fans of their music. She wasn't a fan of death metal, but...

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Coming! You guys stay here."

"Alright, we are scary monsters now, right?"

"Only to a foal."

Twilight trotted over to the door and opened it, and saw Princesses Celestia and Luna.

"Princess Celestia! Princess Luna!"

Celestia had an urgent tone of voice, "We got your letter Twilight, let us see the humans now."

"Okay. They're..."

BLAM!

"Dammit Murderface, ya douchebag!"

Twilight then looked at her teacher and then giggled with a sheepish look on her face.

This is going to be Hell.

What if deathklok was in equestria charter 3

Dethklok was still trying to figure out what the f*** just happened to bring them to this totally un-metal place. They came up with 4 answers to this dilemma.

"Number 1, We are asleep and are having a shared dream." Nathan said.

"Pfff! Nathans, if this weres my dreams, I woulds haves had my guitars."

"You are right Skwisgaar... what the f*** happened to it?"

"I don'ts knows."

"Right. Number 2, we are dead."

"Nah," Pickles interrupted, "This place has booze, but is way too girly for me. It can't be 'Heaven' or 'Hell'."

"Hey, this place is prettys cool. Why ares you dissings on it?" Toki really did like this place.

"Shut up, you two!" Nathan was like the father-figure of the band, he didn't know why. "Number 3, we are high on acid."

"..."

"That seems legit, except that acid doesn't really do much for me, Nathan."

"Well, we'll never know Pickles..."

"Oh, I would know, I've done it before. I've done it all." Pickles did have a long history of drug and alcohol abuse all the way back to his childhood.

"Okay, then number four, our light show f***ed up and brought up to this s*** place."

With no other ideas, well they could have had more ideas, but they weren't that smart, they all agreed to the last one. Skwisgaar then searched around the place.

"Lookings for your guitars, Skwisgaar?"

"Yes, Toki. Where is thats f***ing guitars?"

While Skwisgaar looked for his guitar, Pickles walked up to Murderface.

"Hey, Murderface."

"Yes, Pickles?"

"I'm hungry."

"What do you want me to do about it, piss?"

"No, let's go into the kitchen and find something to eat and s***."

"Fine."

The two walked into the dark kitchen but had failed to notice that Twilight had turned on the gas earlier. She had forgotten to light a fire to start it off earlier, and had failed to turn it off as well when she rushed outside. She was going to make dinner, but Dethklok's appearance made it less than important.

"I can't see anything. Light one up Murderface."

"Okay."

Murderface lit his lighter and...

BLAM!

Amazingly, no one was hurt, but the kitchen now needed dire repairs. Pickles was really angry now.

"Dammit Murderface, ya douchebag!"

"Hey, it was not my f***ing fault! You told me to light a f***ing match!"

The rest of Dethklok came in and turned on a light to see what happened

"What the hell is going on in..." Nathan stopped when he saw the damage, "Holy s***! You blew up the kitchen."

Twilight then came in, "What just... MY KITCHEN!!!" Twilight was extremely saddened by this event, "My kitchen. It's going to cost so much."

Celestia walked in and saw her student cry over such pointless destruction.

"Don't worry Twilight, I'll pay for it."

"Really? Thank you so much, Princess!"

"Yes, you're welcome." She then turned to the five humans, whom were not really feeling bad about this.

"Don't you feel bad about this?"

"Not really, we aren't the kind of people to care about feelings much." Nathan said.

"Yeah! Feelings are gay!" Toki generally agreed with what the band said and did.

"Well you are going to pay for this..."

"No princess, they have gone through enough right now. Let's just take them on a tour..."

"To the bar. We want to get drunk." Nathan was really speaking for the band now.

Celestia was quiet, but in her mind, Typical. What's next? A metal-masked man who eats an impossible amount of yogurt.

"Very well, but I'll be watching you."

"Alright, to the bar!" Pickles said.

Luna came in to see the humans, and then approached her sister.

"Are you sure that this is a good idea, sister?"

"Please Luna, what's the worse that could happen?"

If there was one mistake that Celestia and Luna could have made, it was to let Dethklok drink. They binged-drinked to the point of vomiting, smashed furniture over each other's heads, and finally...

"You are an ass****, douchebag!" Pickles was now ready to fight a gryphon.

"OH, THAT'S IT! BRING IT!"

And the two fought, Celestia herself was shocked at the destructive nature of Dethklok when they were drunk.

"This is madness!"

Murderface then climbed onto the table and dropped his pants, "Madness. This is PLANET PISS!" He then proceeded to try to urinate on Celestia, but missing horribly and instead getting Twilight's drink.

"I'm not drinking that." Murderface just made my day. Ha ha. Twilight was apparently so annoyed by this, that her sarcastic side came out to taunt them.

Berry had had enough of this. "Alright you idiot drunks! Get out or I'll make you!"

"F***s yous!" Toki then vomited on Berry's face. She had that happen before, and it just made her angry.

If anypony was at the entrance to the bar, they would have seen five humans get tossed out, one by one.

"And stay out!"

Twilight, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna walked out, obviously embarrassed at the band's antics. The door then slammed as Berry had to clean up and find the estimates for the damages the band had caused to her bar.

"Alright, you five. Let's get you home, you are in a lot of trouble already. So let's go, preferably without anymore incidents." Twilight would have to introduce them to the others later, right now, she had to make sure they didn't do anything stupid... again.

"F***s..." Toki then vomited again on Murderface's crotch.

"Uh, Toki. You got vomit on my c***."

"Let's just get home."

Twilight and the two princesses carried the band to the library, where the next morning was going to be bad at least.

I was right, this is going to be Hell.

A random earth-pony stallion was watching the princesses and a unicorn carry five ape-like creatures with their magic. He looked closely and suddenly had a green glow over his eyes.

The queen must know about this. I must watch them tomorrow.

And then he went into the shadows, glowed a little, and then came out a changeling drone. It flew away into the skies, where it would find shelter from the observant eye.