I had been listening to the ramblings of my host for a few minutes now, already getting annoyed.

"What an interesting creature.... It stands on two legs, its muzzle is seemingly nonexistent, and its fore hooves seem to be split five ways at their ends... I've never seen anything like it." She rambled on, writing on a sheet of paper using some sort of magical field, which, I guess was drawn from her horns, as it glowed the same color as the currently levitating objects did.

"Alright, can we move on? I'm bored." I said, causing the unicorn to hurriedly finish her writing, and she handed it to the dragon that had brought us here.

Unexpectedly, he burned it.

"What was that? All that writing to burn it to ash!"

"Calm down, I was just sending a letter."

"Have you never heard of MAILBOXES?!?!"

"Trust me, this is the most efficient way of sending letters to the Princess."

"Okay, I'm confused now, what do you mean?"

She proceeded to explain everything to me. Equestria, the Elements of Harmony, the Princesses, and everything else.

"Interesting... Very interesting indeed." I said So this is where the demons sent me, probably to die alone, and they would have free reign. They'll see. They'll all see, and Pay...

"Hello? Are you still there?" The unicorn snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Yes, just thinking."

"About what?"

"Demons, the past, and a whole lot of death."

"D-Demons? Just where are you from?"

"Hell, where else?"

She was about to answer when a knock was heard on the door.

"Coming!" She then got up, and opened the door, as five more ponies came in, four complete strangers, and one I recognized.

"Twilight! I saw some strange creature wandering around town-" The pegasus from before was going to continue, before she saw me.

"Hello there." I calmly replied.

"Twilight, darling! If you're going to invite guests over, at least try to look presentable."

"Sorry Rarity, he just kinda showed up at my door, and with him being a whole new creature, I got right to studying him! Heck, I don't even know his name-"

"Marine." I said flatly.

"Ah don't think you should trust him, Twi." The orange one with a cowboy hat said.

"I recognize that western accent, are you the relative of a young filly by the name of Apple Bloom?" I asked.

"Ah am indeed, how'd you guess?"

"I rescued her and her friends from a bunch of wolves in the forest outside town. Surprised she hasn't told you yet."

"You took on Timberwolves head on?"

"Hell yeah I did! Twelve of 'em. Complete breeze."

"I don't like him, he scares me." I heard the bright yellow one say, just barely.

"Ah, there's nothing to be worried about, little one. I reassured her. "Now, can I get some introductions here?"

"I'm Twilight, pleasure to meet you."

"I'm Rarity, darling."

"Applejack."

"Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier in Equestria!"

"I'm Fluttershy."

"Don't mind her, she's just a little shy, as the name suggests." Applejack confirmed.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! We're going to have so much fun!" The final one yelled as she jumped at my face, causing me to fall out of my seat, and my helmet to roll off.

"Aghh, could you try to be a little less loud?" I demanded, grabbing my helmet again, but just throwing it into my inventory.

"As you were saying before we were interrupted?" Twilight reminded me.

"Oh right! I last left off in the firey depths of Hell." I responded casually.

"You mean to tell me you're from Tartarus?"

"Tartarus is the Greek word for Underworld, and Underworld is just another word for Hell, so, yes." I explained. "But if this place does indeed have an entrance to Hell, then I'll be able to get back to kicking ass and chewing bubble gum sooner than expected." I realized, reaching into my pockets for aforementioned gum. "And I'm all outta bubble gum."

"Here you go!" Pinkie said, tossing me a few sticks of mint bubble gum.

"Thanks." I said, putting them away for now.

Another knock.

"Ah, what the hell. What could possibly go wrong?" I said, walking over to the door. Opening it, I saw two Alicorns about my height, roughly 6'3 maybe a few inches taller.

"Oh, hello, what brings you here?" I said.

"Marine! You're talking to royalty! Please try to be presentable!" Twilight urged me.

"Not to worry, faithful student. We received your letter about this creature, and have come to apprehend it."

"WHAT!?!?!"

Author's Note

This took days to write, and is going to kick of the hijinks. Starting in Chapter 4: Apprehension.

Yeah, I know, those of you with a keen eye are probably typing in the comments But author, that would make two chapters in a row have Half-Life names. I don't care.

This took so long to write because I was having PC issues, and kept forgetting to save, and it took me a while to get down the flow of the chapter. My main issues with writing are a shitty imagination, and a shitty keyboard.

Doomguy out!