Name's Ellis

by MAGO5

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Spike, Comedy, Crossover, Zecora, Human, Main 6, Lyra
Length: 99743

A Left 4 Dead 2 crossover involving Ellis.

Applejack finds a strange visitor in her apple orchard one day, with even stranger stories to tell...
MLP/L4D2 crossover. My first story on FiMfiction.net! May add more tags as story progresses.
Credit for the image goes to brokencreation on DeviantArt.

Published 2011-12-22 04:49:18 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-16 04:44:40 UTC

Contact!

Ellis’s eyes shot open as he half-gasped, half-snorted awake face first on the ground. He coughed and blew out the dirt that he inhaled from the sudden air intake. He grunted as his head throbbed, which sent dull pain up and down his spine. Attempting to move only proved to him that his muscles were far too weak at the moment to possibly stand up. Ellis relaxed and focused on what he felt brushing against his skin. With some effort, he turned his head to the side and cracked his eyes open.

Grass... soft, green, healthy grass...

”Where am I?” Ellis thought.

Through the cloudiness of his head, he tried to grasp a vague shadow of emotion, but to no avail. Like waking up from a dream, the memory of everything that happened before dissipated like fog, possibly lost forever in the annals of Ellis’s mind. His limbs still too exhausted to move, he lay there for what seemed like half an hour, trying to move every few seconds, each time being rewarded with another throb to his head and a little extra distance. Finally, he extended his arm forwards as far as it would go and let it fall back down to the ground. It landed landed in a puddle of cold, clear rainwater sending an icy shock through his systems. The sensation hit his cerebellum like a train.

Wait...

Water...

Ellis’s eyes shot wide open as everything that happened prior filled his head like a divine light. The bridge, the tank, the explosion, him falling to meet the heaving, frigid waters. Strength was suddenly injected into his limbs as if he just took an adrenalin shot. He pushed off the ground and attempted to stand straight up, but stumbled backward as his blood rushed out of his head and crashed against what felt like the bark of a tree. Ellis’s eyes were screwed shut from the pain.

Something was wrong with him, he knew it without having to see it. He felt it by the way his body moved, the way his skin felt. Something was different about him, and his breath got heavier as he debated whether or not he actually wanted to know. His eyes cracked open ever so slightly as he raised his hands in front of his face to see.

But they were not hands.

They were...

THEY WERE...!

Still hands.

He was still exactly the way he’d always been.

“Ah guess ah just ain’t feelin’ right. Coulda sworn I’d been turned into somethin’ else or some other crazy shit.” Ellis mumbled to himself.

Meanwhile, in the Warhammer 40,000 universe, on the forgeworld of Kirrac, a techpriest inspecting a Baneblade super-heavy tank suddenly collapsed to the floor in hysteric laughter, much to the confusion and worry of his peers and superiors, and shouted something about how “bipedalism rules.”

With his fears diminished, Ellis scanned the scenery around him. Vibrant colors and blinding bright sunlight assaulted his corneas, causing him to cringe at such a sharp contrast from the depressing, smoke-filled, zombie infested cities. This wasn’t a city, this was right smack-dab in the middle of a countryside, more specifically right in the middle of an apple grove, completely untouched by any kind of strife or apocalypse. Apple trees as far as the eye could see, their perfectly ripe, red fruit hung heavily upon their branches, glistening with morning dew.

“That tears it. Ahm in heaven!” Ellis exclaimed with glee.

Ellis had only ever been in a peach grove before, but he assumed that the rule of finding all kinds of cool shit still applied to apple groves. Combined with the prospect of eating juicy, fresh fruit, as opposed to junk food, army rations, and beef jerky, made Ellis giddy with excitement. ”First thing’s first,” He thought, ”Time for some eatin’s!”

+++++

Applejack coiled her body and struck out with her hind legs, her back hooves hitting the worn bark of the apple tree. A satisfying thump resounded and reverberated throughout her entire body as the tree leaves rustled and apples fell neatly into her wooden buckets. She cracked a grin of satisfaction.

It was apple-bucking season at Sweet Apple Acres again. The prized fruit was at its prime, which meant it was time for the Apple family to get to working. Applejack, Big Macintosh, and even Applebloom were all out in the grove doing an Apple’s honest work. Applejack wiped the sweat from her brow with her front hooves. She began to hitch the buckets to her harness when Apple Bloom galloped up to her.

“Big sis! Can ah help?” Cried the bouncy filly.

Applejack chuckled. “Sorry, Apple Bloom. Ah got this covered.” Apple Bloom sank dejectedly to the ground.

Applejack sighed. “Maybe yer older brother needs some help. Granny Smith could also use an extra hoof with baking them apple pies.” She spoke earnestly, but lil’ Apple Bloom was not swayed. An idea came into her head. “...Maybe if you help them out, then later ah can teach you a secret er two ‘bout applebuckin’.” That got her attention. She shot back up, a smile sitting on her face.

“Can do, big sis!” With that, Applejack’s little sister ran off towards the farm.

Applejack huffed in relief. She didn’t have anything against her sister, but the filly was just too much energy for her to deal with. ”Oh well...” She thought, ”She’ll get ‘er cutie mark an’ then she’ll settle down and stop all the ‘Cutie Mark Crusader’ nonsense.”

Applejack, now with a load of fresh apples on her back, cantered off on the direction of her apple cart, ready to bring the full wagon back to the farm to be dropped off. Then, her work begins anew. It was only mid-morning, so the farmpony had a whole day ahead of her. Whistling the “My Little Pony” jingle as she got closer to the cart, her ear perked up, catching a distant sound carried by the breeze. To anypony else, this would have been nothing, but to Applejack the noise registered instantly in her brain. She had heard it many times before, the bane of her apples and the blight of her family. Rustling of leaves, a sharp snapping sound as her hard work of growing and tending of her crops was stolen from her.

“Varmints...” She spat with venom.

+++++

Ellis sank his pearly-whites into the juicy, tender red skin of the fruit.

“Ho, man. That’s the best apple I ever did taste.” A few more bites and he tossed the core off to the side and picked another. “Well, best apple so far...”

Ellis leisurely laid on the tree branch, devouring the delicious ruby gems without a care in the world. The fruit’s runoff dribbled messily down the sides of his mouth and dripped on his shirt. It was going to get sticky, but he didn’t care in the slightest. The only thing that was on his mind was the apple in hand and the next one after. Beyond that, Ellis didn’t really ponder upon how he got here, where he was, or what happened to his friends. All that mattered now was snacktime.

Another apple core thumped to the ground, followed by the snap of another one being picked. Ellis inhaled the scent of it before beginning to consume it like the last. It wasn’t out of place for him to suddenly forget his worries and just enjoy life for the moment; it’s what made Ellis Ellis. Right now, he couldn't imagine spoiling this moment fretting about the “small stuff”. It was just him and the apples.

At least until something else showed up.

+++++

Applejack was trotting towards the source of the disturbance, her load now discarded for the moment. Annoyance was set in her expression. She had tangled with all kinds of inconsiderate, thieving critters before, and none of them ever elicited forgiveness from the earth pony. In the distance she could see an apple core being carelessly tossed to the ground. This made her blood go hot. She increased her pace, determined to get rid of this nuisance once and for all.

Applejack arrived at the tree where the pest had littered the ground below. She couldn’t clearly see what was up in the branches, but that didn’t matter to her at he moment. She was fuming at the sheer audacity of whatever was eating her apples! Applejack inhaled a deep breath and, with a voice that would make Princess Luna herself recoil, bellowed at the top of her lungs.

“QUIT EATING MAH CROP YA APPLE-THIEVIN’ VARMINT!!!”

+++++

The shout literally knocked Ellis right out of the tree. He tried flailing his arms to regain balance, but to no avail. With a cry, he slipped out of his comfortable resting place and ended up face-first on the ground. Thoughts raced through his head: He had no idea this was someone else's apple grove! Quickly, he began his patented “frantic apology”, honed over many years of getting into all kinds of trouble in his hometown.

“Oh shit oh shit oh shit ah am so sorry! I really didn’t mean... to...”

Ellis’s sentence trailed off as his head craned up to see the accuser. What he expected to find was an angry human being.

What he got was an orange, hat-wearing pony.

Ellis’s jaw dropped to the ground

+++++

Applejack’s slack-jawed expression mirrored that of the... thing that laid before her. She had never seen anything that looks remotely like the creature, except maybe the monkey Fluttershy showed her once. But this was no monkey. It had a face capable of a full range of expression, fingers that were slender and more flexible, and a posture that was perfectly upright. It had clothes on... it TALKED! Applejack was the first to break the long pause of silence between them.

“...Just what the hay are you?” She asked tentatively.

Just after she spoke, though, the creature’s face spread into the widest, goofiest grin she ever saw. Then, it exclaimed something to the affect of the following:

“OH MAH GAWD A TINY TALKIN’ HURSE!!!”

The next thing Applejack knew was that she was plucked off the ground and submitted to a near bone-crushing hug by the creature’s lengthy, strong arms. Her face started to turn purple as her bouncy, gibbering captor continued to exclaim a long, unending stream of baby-talk. She struggled with all her might, flailing her hooves furiously in front of her, but to no effect. She was nearly out of breath, and this upright-walking ape wasn’t any closer to relenting.

“Is... this any... way... tah treat... a laaAAAady?” She spouted with the last ounce of her breath.

The creature’s face lost its expression and loosened its grip on Applejack considerably. Using this chance, she twisted her body back and fourth, finally breaking free of its grip. Before the creature could sputter out another apology, Applejack blindly lashed out with her back legs, her hooves contacting a soft spot on the creature’s body.

Which happened to be right between its legs.

The creature howled, its voice rising at least three or four octaves. I collapsed to the ground in front of the orange-colored earth pony, groaning and writhing in agony. Applejack stood over it, berating its behavior.

“Now what the hay was that for! Ah don’t know what you are, or where yer from, but ya can’t just go around squeezin’ the life outta every pony ya see!”

It continued to moan, its hands cradling its crotch as it rocked side to side. Its face was screwed up in severe pain. Applejack started to regret hurting it like she did, seeing how much pain it was in. She had no idea that her kick would put it in such a state as it did, knowing next to nothing about its biology. A few more minutes passed and the creature was still hurting, albeit a little less intensely than before, but Applejack felt even worse. It tore her heart to see anything in pain. She timidly stepped closer to the creature.

“Uh... you all right there? Ah didn’t mean tah hurt you that bad.” She spoke softly.

It gave an exhausted chuckle, pain laced through its voice. “That’s all right. Ah figured ah didn’t need kids anyway...”

Applejack’s face went shockingly pale as understanding hit her hard. “Oh mah gosh! Ah am so sorry! Ah really didn’t mean to! Oh no oh no oh no...” She understood what virility meant to a stallion, and she assumed the same rules applied to other animals as well.

The creature only gave a half-smile. “Don’t sweat... the small stuff.” It said between groans, “S’all mah fault... anyway... That’s no way... fer me tah act...”

But Applejack already had tears welling up in her eyes, felling really low for what she had do to... him, apparently.

“Are... are ya gonna be okay there, sugarcube?” She sniffled.

“They might swell up fer a few days, but ah’ve had worse. A lot worse.” He replied, struggling up to his knees. “If ya can forgive me fer the way ah acted, ma’am, I’d feel a lot better. Ah just never thought I’d see myself talkin’ to a talkin’ horse! What’d a story that’d make!”

Applejack smiled a bit, her tears started to subside. “Pony, actually, ahm a pony. And yes, ah forgive ya. We all can get a bit excited ah guess...” A question popped into her mind. “Now can ya tell me what ya are, if it’s not too much trouble?”

“Oh none at all, Ma’am. Imma human: walk on two legs an’ work with mah hands.” He wiggled his digits.

Applejack giggled a bit at that. She decided she like this “human” fellow. He had a friendly accent that sounded almost like hers. Besides his earlier actions, he seemed non-threatening enough, not to mention polite and easy-going. She held out her hoof, a gesture she used for meeting new ponies. The human seemed to recognize it and gripped her hoof with his hand and shook firmly.

“Mah name’s Applejack,” She spoke proudly, “How ‘bout yours?”

The human smiled warmly. “Name’s Ellis.”

Ponyville, Ho!

(A/N: I've decided to put whatever the hell I need to say at the beginning of the chapters instead of putting them in my blog. I'll save that for story previews and updates for my followers. Anyway, take this. You've been waiting long enough.)

“Now, before ah get ahead of myself,” Ellis began. “Ah gotta ask: What the name a’ hell just happened?”

Applejack sighed for a second time. “That there was mah friend Pinkie Pie, an’ you just frightened the frostin’ outta her.” She glared at the human. “What the hay were you thinkin’ puttin’ on a scare like that? Ya got Apple Bloom in shivers!”

The said poor filly cowered behind a stack of empty produce crates, confused and on the verge of tears. Ellis looked and saw her big, woobie eyes that made him feel like dirt. He shuffled uneasily.

“Ahm really, really sorry, ma’am. Didn’t know that y’all would scared an’ shit. Ah may jus’ got mahself outta a zombie apocalypse, but I swear I don’t mean tah hurt nobody.” He hadn't felt this awkward since he accidentally burned half of his neighbor’s house (a story that also involved Keith and 3rd degree burns, no doubt). Here was a shining new world, filled with talking, colorful equines, his favorite animal, and the first thing he did was showboat a dangerous, used weapon. Ellis admonished himself for being so thoughtless.

Applejack’s features softened. “Ellis, ah take yer word for it. Nowhere in Equestria will ya find a better expert on honesty.” She spoke truthfully and without an inch of boastfulness. Honesty was her element, after all. “Ah knew from the moment... er... rather the moment after... that yer a kind and faithful soul. But,” She peered at his now sheathed machete. “this is something ah have a hard time believin’. Fightin’ and... killin’ hordes a’ monsters? Monsters that used to be livin’ things?” The thought of such an atrocity made her stomach turn.

“Well...” Ellis hesitated. “they weren’t technically undead. They were infected, caught the Green Flu a couple months back. They may have looked like humans, but they acted like rabid animals.”

Applejack’s heart nearly took a dive into her stomach. She desperately tried to halt her inflating fears and overclocking imagination and forced doubt and empathy into her mindset. She tried to string her vocabulary into proper sentences, and failed. Only a single word escaped from her lips.

“H-how?”

“Ah sure as hell don’t wanna die.” He replied in a flat tone, one that dramatically contrasted his signature cheerful demeanor. “Ah didn’t wanna kill anyone either, but ah couldn’t have both.” Never had it crossed his mind to regret taking the lives of perfectly innocent people turned zombies. He hadn’t even considered it as he gunned them down in the dozens. It never even entered his thoughts when he golf-clubbed a bloody, decapitated head for sport.

“No, Ellis...” Applejack had calmed down enough to think clearly now. She trotted closer to the brooding human. “Ah mean, how do ya go through all that an’ still be kind an’ happy?” It wasn’t an accusation. She couldn’t fathom how fighting for his life didn’t leave him scarred or heavy shouldered with grief.

He half-smiled at the orange earth pony. “Ah remember a time when mah aunt told me: ‘Ellis, y’all perfect jus’ the way you are. Whatever happens, whatever you do, don’t let the world change ya.’ Now, I took those words tah heart ah did, ‘cause ah love mah aunt, rest her soul, and I’ve been livin’ by ‘em ever since.” He crossed his legs and sat down on the barn floor. Apple Bloom was out of her hiding spot now, no longer afraid of the human. Ellis looked at her once again. “Ahm sorry, Apple Bloom. Didn’t mean tah scare ya like that, ah jus’ do dumb things like that all the time. Can ya forgive me?”

The filly kicked the dirt a bit, unsure of what to convene. “It’s ok, Ellis, ah don’t think yer bad at all. Ah think yer kinda cool.”

Ellis smiled. These ponies don’t seem to hold a grudge for very long, which was a relief for him because he’s pissed off all kinds of people back in Savannah, and most of them never forgave him.

“Ah’d hate tah interrupt,” Applejack interrupted (smooth, AJ). “But we got a problem on our hooves. Pinkie Pie headed off in the direction a’ Ponyville, an’ with that impression ya gave her, ah wouldn’t be surprised if she was warnin’ everypony there to lock their doors. Same thing happened with Zecora. We need to go get this straight before ya get in real big trouble.”

“Ah couldn’t blame her. The way that whole thing looked wouldn’t be too serene tah me, either...” Ellis heaved himself off the dirt, brushing off his pants and motivated his limbs. “So whaddya need me tah do?”

“Yer comin’ with me tah Ponyville.” Applejack explained, moving to the barn door. “We’ll talk tah Twilight. She’ll know what to do.”

Ellis looked a little puzzled. “Me goin’ to the town that’ll be waitin’ tah tackle me? Ya gone siggy er somethin’?”

She rolled her eyes. “It won’t be that bad! A lot a ponies listen to Pinkie, but most of the time it’s just Pinkie Pie bein’ Pinkie Pie. Sometimes she can be a little... uh...”

“Absolutely freakin’ nuts?” Ellis offered.

“Yeah!” Applejack agreed right before her brain caught up with her. “Wait-! No! She’s just very excitable. Probably ‘cause she eats too much sugar, no matter how many times ah tell her it’s bad fer her health.”

“Absolutely nuts. Gotcha.” He grinned playfully at the slightly annoyed earth pony before listing to the fallen cupcake tray. Fortunately, only a couple of cupcakes fell out when the frightened pink pony had dropped and forgotten it. He lifted the tray and removed one of the pastries from it’s divot.

“Ah man these smell good.” He horked an Ellis-sized bite, pink frosting sticking to his nose and mouth. A rush hit his brain as the sugar touched his tongue. “Gub Gob, mamm.” He muffled through the mass of baked goods stuffed in his cheeks. “Bess cubcake ebar!”

Applejack facehoofed. He completely forgot the matter at hoof for a few cupcakes. His cheerful disposition was becoming more plausible by the second.

She addressed her little sister. “Apple Bloom, tell yer big brother that me an’ Ellis gotta go to town for a while. We’ll back by supper.” She observed that the human began to chow down on the next cupcake without even cleaning his face first.

“Hopefully...” She amended.

The little filly nodded her head. “Can do, big sis!” With that, she galloped out the barn door and towards the apple grove. Applejack looked at Ellis and gestured her hoof out the door.

“Anytime now.”

He regained his awareness from the sugar-trance and fumbled slightly.

“Oh, right.” Ellis held out the metal tray. “Want some?”

She sighed. “Well, alright.” Applejack took the cupcake in her hoof and bit into the spongy confection. As always, Pinkie’s creation was absolutely delicious. Apple mingled with cinnamon and the sugar sparkled on her taste buds. Her annoyances with the human dissipated slightly. Finishing the cupcake, she wiped her face with her foreleg and re-gestured to the door.

“Now come on, we gotta get movin’. Daylight’s burnin’.”

“Sure thing, sweetie.” Ellis replied cheekily, intent on taking the cupcakes with him.

As they left the homestead, Ellis restarted their idle conversation. “So how long does it take tah get to Ponyville from here?”

“‘Bout forty minutes er so.” She replied after a bit of calculations. “Not too far.”

“That’s great! Ah can tell ya more stories along the way!”

Applejack smiled. She would love to hear his stories.

+++++

Applejack was close to brutalizing her forehead on a tree trunk until she could see backwards.

They had been walking for over 35 minutes, and since they began their trek, Ellis had been storytelling non-stop. It would have been interesting if it wasn’t complete gibberish. She had no idea what a “truck” was, nor a “gas station” or “Captain America”. He talked about his buddy Keith and him more than half the time, spouting about their misadventures, but what made it unbearable was the way eight or nine cupcakes affected his verbal organization skills. He stopping midway through any given tale to go into finer detail, then again, then again, then he’d forget the story he was telling and start an entirely new one. By about 10 or so minutes in, she tried her best to tune him out, almost counting the very seconds as the seemingly short walk transformed into an eternity. Applejack swore that she would rather be with Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash right now.

Or both.

Anything but this.

“...so then we lit the fuse to the firecrackers, see, and me n’ Keith snuck away. They exploded inside a’ the scarecrow’s head and it make a huge-ass noise! Scared the big flock a’ crows away, but the ground caught on fire. Woulda burned the whole crop, too, but ah told Keith tah roll himself on it tah put it out. Hoo boy... third-degree burns on 95% percent of his body. Kinda reminds me of the time me an-”

“Hey, look! We’re here!” Applejack enthusiastically interrupted, silently giving thanks to Celestia. The humble village of Ponyville emerged from the skyline, displaying the bright, pastel-colored buildings. Ellis noted that they appeared almost cartoonish, the obnoxious outlines of some of them tracing wonky curves. He also noticed a lot of it appeared to be under repairs. Scaffolds and wooden cranes were stacked beside the structures.

“Y’all doin’ renovations er somthin’?”

Applejack sifted the dirt under her hoof. “Uh... just some repair work. Nuthin’ too bad, though.”

The pair closed the distance between them and the town to find that it was, in fact, empty. Off in the distance, they could see some ponies slamming their doors or yanking the window shutters closed. Applejack gave a huff of frustration.

“Well that’s just great! Just dandy! Ya had tah go an’ scare the hay outta the one pony who could make ya welcome!”

Ellis flinched. “Like ah said, ahm sorry ‘bout that. Ah didn’t mean tah!” He looked around at the various buildings as they strolled along the cobbled street.

“Forget it, sugarcube.” She sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time today. This was turning out to be extremely exhausting for the farmpony. “Ahm sorry. I don’t actually blame ya. We jus’ gotta find a way tah sort this out. There are a lot of reasonable folk out herAAAA-!”

“Applejack?” Ellis turned to where the earth pony should have been only to find that she was no longer there. He caught a glimpse of a door slamming close-by, a door belonging to a building that looked like a gingerbread house.

Applejack was submitted to a bone-crushing hug via two pink forelegs.

“Ohmigosh, Applejack! I was so scared that you got eaten by that monster and I didn’t know what I’d do without you I would probably cry and not feel like partying because you’re my bestest friend in the whole world and-” A hoof was forcefully shoved into her mouth.

“Hold yer horses, Pinkie! Ahm fine, ok? That monster ain’t no monster, either!”

“What do you mean? I’ve never heard of anything like what Pinkie described.” A new voice, one she recognized as Twilight.

“What...” Applejack released Pinkie Pie and looked around the bakery or Sugarcube Corner. Accompanying the party pony was Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. They all looked equally relieve to see Applejack as Pinkie was.

“AJ! Don’t kid yourself!” Dash hovered above her, agitated. “Nothing that walks on two legs and carries around a huge knife could possibly be any good!”

Applejack narrowed her eyes at the cyan pegasus. “And jus’ what makes ya so darned sure?”

“Well... what makes YOU so sure, huh?” She retorted stubbornly.

“Well I’m sure of it!” Pinkie interjected. “I even made a song!” She inhaled a large volume of air, prepared to vocalize through singing and dancing, when Applejack shoved her hoof in her mouth once again.

“PINKIE! We don’t have time for this!”

“Um... Applejack?” Fluttershy tried weakly.

“GIRLS!” Everypony looked at an exasperated Twilight. Seeing that she had their attention, she continued. “AJ... I don’t know much about what is going on, but Pinkie Pie ran down the street screaming about some monster, dragged us from our homes to bring us here, and we’ve been waiting here ever since.”

Rainbow Dash continued where Twilight’s recap left off. “We were just about to go and do something about it, too! I told them I could kick that monster’s flank and be back here in no time when you showed up!” She did an aerial flip and some mock martial arts moves. “Did you already kick his flank?”

“What? No! I’m trying to tell you that-” But her voice trailed off when the shop’s door creaked open and Ellis poked his head inside.

“Applejack? Ya think you can keep me up-to-date on this stuff here? I’m no good at following... Hey! These yer friends?” Showing himself in, he stood twice as tall as any of the ponies in the room.

“IT’S THE MONSTER! RUN!!!” Pinkie Pie streaked off through the kitchen door. Ellis reached out into the air and attempted to call to her.

“Don’t worry!” Dash beat her wings to gain momentum. “I got this!” She was about to shoot forward at the human, prepared to unleash her front hooves’s fury upon his face, when she was yanked backwards by her tail. She hit the floor and Applejack spat out her technicolor hair.

“What are you doing, AJ?!”

“I’ve been trying to tell y’all that he ain’t gonna harm none a ya!” She looked over at the bipedal southerner, his arms crossed in front of his face in a desperate attempt to ward off Dash’s attack. “Ellis, why don’t ya introduce yerself?”

He peeked over his arms to see four colorful ponies watching him with curiosity, or in case of Rainbow Dash, hostility. Twilight seemed to take interest in the way he moved, the way he walked on two legs, while Fluttershy regarded him with indifference, which the others noted with subtle surprise; she would usually be cowering in the kitchen with Pinkie Pie in these types of situations.

He cleared his throat. “Uh... mah name’s Ellis and ahm a human n’ stuff... Ah have hands instead of hooves an’ ah walk on two legs.” He repeated the finger wiggling that he did when he first met Applejack. Rainbow Dash seemed to be captivated by the sight of the tiny digits, but kept a hostile posture out of indignation. Ellis did not continue his introduction and an awkward silence followed, accompanied by only a hushed cough and soft clops of shifting hooves.

Finally, Twilight stepped fourth towards the human, tension dissolving in the air as the silence was broken. “Pleased to meet you, Ellis. On behalf of Princess Celestia, and as her personal student, I welcome you to Ponyville. My name is Twilight Sparkle.” She extended her hoof.

Ellis took it in his and shook it firmly. “Nice tah meet ya, Twilight.” He said while trying to hold back a snicker. The unicorn, however, noticed his change in facial expression.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh nothin’... It’s just where ah come from it would probably suck tah have that name, unless ya like vampires...”

Twilight was none the wiser.

“So...” Ellis continued. “Ah already met Applejack an’ her family, but she didn’t tell me that you guys had unicorns and pegasus...es... too!”

“Pegasi.” Fluttershy quietly corrected.

“Got it.” He turned to the rainbow-maned pegasus. “What’s yer name?”

Dash, no longer seeing the need for hostility, switched to her showboating mode. She darted from her place and skidded to a halt right in front of the human, who in turn flinched again.

“My name’s Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria!” She revolved around his head a couple times.

“Well nice tah meet ya too!” Ellis held out his hand for another hand/hoofshake. Dash halted. Her dark-pink eyes locked on his hand, his slender, flexible hand. It was discolored with splotches of dirt and oil and the fingertips were well chewed on, but Dash didn’t notice these traits in particular as she absentmindedly accepted the greeting gesture; she was too busy watching the way his digits bent and curved around her hoof, the way they wrapped and grasped it like the wind that met her face when she flew at high speeds. Such motion... such dexterity...

“Hey, uh... you mind if I... uh... look at this for a while?”

Ellis was slightly hesitant, but considered one’s curiosity to something completely alien and decided there was no harm in sating it.

“Sure, go right ahead.”

Rainbow Dash continued to hover as she experimentally manipulated the hand with her front hooves. Twilight cleared her throat.

“You probably know that the pony hiding in the kitchen is Pinkie Pie, but I don’t believe you’ve met Fluttershy yet.” She called over to the canary pegasus. “Come on, you might as well.”

Fluttershy hesitated. “Oh, uh... that’s ok... he already knows my name. I’ll just... stay over here-” She yelped as Applejack came up behind her and scooted Fluttershy’s haunches towards the human.

“Nonsense, sugarcube! There ain’t nothin’ to be ‘fraid of!” She placed the blushing pony in front of Ellis, and in turn he gave her a friendly smile. Fluttershy wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“I’m Fluttershy...”

“She’s not very good at meeting new folk,” Applejack added. “But she’s real sweet. She ain’t got nothin’ against ya.”

“S’all right. Y’all don’t have to shake my hand to know me.” It should be worth noting that Rainbow Dash, who was still fiddling with his right hand, was getting awfully friendly with it, beginning to rub it on her muzzle, but Ellis didn’t seem to notice. “So these all your friends, Applejack?”

“Not quite. Rarity and Dommy ain’t here. Twilight?”

Twilight glanced back to the kitchen door. “Pinkie said Rarity wasn’t at her boutique. She must have been at the furniture store. Dominic doesn’t come to Ponyville very often.”

“Why’s that?” Ellis inquired.

“Well... because...”

Rainbow Dash looked up from the hand she was so absorbed in. “Because he smells.”

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight admonished.

“What? It’s true! He needs to be ran under a fire hose for like... 5 hours if he’s ever gonna get clean, but that might make him smell even worse!”

The purple unicorn sighed. Dash went back to playing with Ellis’s hand.

“So whadda we do now?”

Twilight pondered for a moment. “Well first we need to clear up this misunderstanding before the rumors start to get out of hoof.”

“Should I get Pinkie?” Fluttershy offered.

“That’ll come later. We need an official welcome for him. I’ll write to the Princess and get Mayor Mare to call a town meeting. Then, we can have Pinkie throw a party for him when the town’s fears have been dispelled.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ellis agreed. “I love parti-”

He froze in mid-sentence when he felt a wave of hot breath wash over his knuckles. He and everypony in the room turned to Rainbow Dash. Her tongue lolled out of her open mouth, her cheeks were crimson under the thin layer of cyan fur, and her eyes were half-closed, gazing longingly at the human’s fingers. She was, apparently, and for whatever reason, prepared to take the small, calloused appendages into her maw. Dash suddenly became aware of the eyes upon her and broke herself free of the trance, blushing profusely.

“Uh...” She stuttered after the long, awkward stillness. “I... uh... think I left my... clouds... on fire.” She said no more and shot out the open front door in a blur of rainbows.

“Ok...?” Ellis looked at his hand, turning it over to try and figure what was so damn interesting about it.

Further Investigation

Pain...

The chaotic serenity permeated under the canopy of Everfree Forest, it’s natural beauty displayed, all for itself. Nopony was present to appreciate it for its glory. Nopony would want to. This was a forest that is shrouded in mystery, protected by fear instilled by old folk tales and the stern warnings of protective parents. Vicious creatures wandered these vegetated grounds, unchecked by the control of Equine society. They fended for themselves against predators who, too, reigned over the wilds.

Pain... Hungry...

A lone stag, majestic and stoic amongst the thick, dark atmosphere and the brooding trees wandered out into a small patch of short grass. Ever wary, he kept his ears perked under the weighty antlers that adorned its head as he bent to chew on the sought after shrub. His hooves shifted on the short, green carpet. Everything seemed silent.

Kill...

A twitch. A flash. Eyes dilated. A breath inhaled. Head raised. Muscles tensed, ready to flee.

Too late.

Movement exploded out of the brush. It caught the stag and sent him flailing across the clearing right into the immovable, blackened bark of a tree. The stag connected with a sickening crack, spine completely severed in several places. He fell to the ground, dead, with a wet, meaty thump.

A throaty bellow. The sound of heavy stomping. A mountain loomed over the corpse. A limb was raised and driven downwards with unholy force, meeting the lifeless head. Antlers broke. Blood spattered. A crack-thump resounded. Another limb was raised and driven down again, this time meeting the ribs. Bones cracked. The hide split. The grass was speckled with crimson. Another crack-thump.

And another.

And another.

And another.

The mangled body was distorted into an red, unrecognizable, leaking pulp under the relentlessly brutal fit of rage and agony. A wail. A yowl. A painted mess was thrown from its epicenter in all direction. It stained the brush. It stained the trees. It stained the dirt. The mutilated stag continued to be slammed further into a growing crater of earth.

Then, it slowed, and finally stopped. All that remained was a heaving breath. Two swollen paws reached to the ground and scooped gigantic handfuls of bloody mush. It was brought up, up past bulging pectorals, past putrid craters covered with rapidly regenerating flesh. It was brought to a jaw-less maw, which stank of rot and tooth decay. The pulp was forced in, ruby lines ran downwards on top of rippling muscle. A gurgle, a grunt of frustration as the mass slid down its gullet and into its toxic stomach. It continued. It continued to feed until its belly bulged, until nothing was left but splattered life-fluid.

Bone fragments needled the inside of its hardened throat. It brought pain.

Everything brought it pain.

Moving brought pain. Yelling brought pain. Hunger brought pain. Thinking brought pain. Living brought pain. All it ever knew was pain. Constant. Intense. Pain.

Only violence, only feeding made it subside. Only the feeling of inflicting something else on its numb, unfeeling skin. The smell of blood... The taste of meat...

It was euphoric.

But it always subsided. It always went away. It growled in anger and hate as the pain returned, faster than last time. It slammed its limbs into the ground in a gorilla-like fashion in hopes it could shake the pain away. It came regardless.

Not the pain...

Anything but that...

The very forest shook as a deafening roar tore from its vocal chords.

+++++

After Rainbow Dash’s... episode... Twilight had opted to relocate to her library. Fluttershy offered to stay behind and coax Pinkie Pie out of hiding while Applejack volunteered to converse with Mayor Mare about setting a town meeting and subsequently find Rarity to meet Ellis. In the meantime, Twilight would ask the human choice questions and rouse Spike to write a letter to the Princess.

“Twi, you sure about this?” Asked the farmpony.

“Of course, Applejack. He’s not dangerous, so what’s the risk of him being alone with me and Spike for a short while?”

Applejack looked at Ellis nervously while he nonchalantly strolled alongside the two down the empty streets of Ponyville. “Well, the ‘misunderstanding’ wasn’t all of Pinkie’s fault. He’s... excitable. Scared me for a good while, too. He said he hunted zombies where he came from.”

Twilight blinked. “Zombies?” She snorted. “Zombies are impossible, Applejack. He’s probably just pulling your leg.”

“He ain’t lying, Twi. He’s got the blood on his knife tah prove it.”

The unicorn eyed his machete, still strapped to his back like he completely forgot about it. “Well, it may look like blood, but we can’t be sure. From the impression I’m getting, there’s no way the guy could be capable of harming anything.”

”That’s what I thought, too...” Applejack monologue'd inside her head, but she didn’t speak about it. Ellis was still an enigma to her, she wasn’t sure about him or what he does at all. He could be a master dissembler, one that could fool her! That couldn’t be it... she was just getting paranoid...

“Don’t you worry, AJ.” Twilight continued. “If he tries anything, intentional or otherwise, I can take care of myself with my magic.” It was a simple fact, not a boast. There was no better precautionist than Celestia’s prodigy. Applejack seem to be convinced enough.

“Alright, ah trust ya. Just, don’t get him too worked up in his stories.” Twilight didn’t know exactly what she meant by that, but she trusted her word and made a mental note.

They came upon the door of the libra-

“HOLY SHEEIT ya live in a tree?!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow at his reac-

“How the hell is that even possible?”

She began to explain the concept of shaping the gro-

“I’d imagine that’d be a huge-ass pest problem...” He realized the purple unicorn was glaring at him. “Oh... sorry. Go ahead.”

“Nevermind.” She sighed. Applejack gave her a “see-what-I-mean?” look. Twilight didn’t directly acknowledge her gesture, but instead pushed the library door open and invited the human in. He obliged, taking care not to bump his head on the low, pony-sized door frame. Applejack merely waited outside, seeing them off before she went to the town hall.

“Ellis, I’ll be gone fer an hour er so and come back with Rarity! She’ll love tah meet ya, ahm sure!” She called inside.

Ellis turned back and gave her a thumbs up. “Alrighty. Lookin’ forward to it!”

The library door closed behind him. She hesitated a moment, feeling disoriented with his talkative presence now gone, before slowly turning around and cantering off in the direction of Ponyville’s mayor.

+++++

As soon as Twilight closed the door, her demeanor shifted dramatically. She loosened up on the professionalism she had been calmly playing and started to nearly vibrate with excitement. A new creature! Intelligent, capable of speech and complex emotional expression! Something like this was unheard of.

And she would be the first to find out everything about him.

Ellis, meanwhile, was listlessly browsing the bookshelves, thumbs in his coverall pockets. The spines were titled and labeled, but he didn’t recognized the writing. It was all strange symbols that usually had to do with equine things. Runes that looked like horseshoes, yokes, hay, etc... It was ridiculous. Why is it that they spoke the same language, yet had completely different written symbols?

“Ellis?” Twilight called from across the library. “You think you can come over here? I just have some questions to ask.”

Ellis broke out of his thoughts and whirled around on his foot. “Sure thing, ma’am.” He strode over to a low table where Twilight prepared a quill, ink well, and parchment, ready to record everything that human would say. Smiling, and close to bouncing in Pinkie Pie-esque elation, she waited for him to sit down at the other side before mentally preparing her questions.

“To start off, what is your full name?”

Ellis took off his cap and ruffled his short, greasy hair. “First an’ last? It’s Ellis McKinney.”

She levitated the quill with her magic, dabbed it in the glass inkwell, dripped off some of the excess, and brought it to the parchment.

“How do you spell that?”

No response. Ellis was too preoccupied by his mind being blown out of his skull.

“How the... what the... who the...” He sputtered senselessly.

“What?”

He pointed at the purple aura that encompassed the writing utensil. “How the hell are ya doing that?!”

Twilight only broadcasted a perplexed look. “It’s only magic.”

“Magic?! Are you kidding me? That’s kinda a big deal!”

“Not really... all unicorns can use magic.”

Ellis rocked back and forced out a breath of air. “Ok... magic...”

“Ellis? You ok?”

“No, yeah, ahm fine. What did you want?”

“How do you spell your name?”

He spelled it for her, taking care to clearly enunciate each letter sharply. Twilight didn’t recognize any of the phonetic pronunciations.

“I’m not exactly sure on what you’re saying.”

Ellis shrugged. “I saw yer writing doesn’t look like any of mine. You could probably jus’ spell it like it sounds.”

The unicorn sighed and wrote it down to her best guess. A question came to her mind.

“How is it that we speak the same language but have different writings? How is it that we speak the same language AT ALL?” Something like him had never been seen before, and yet he speaks perfect Equestrian. Twilight contracted her brow as she mentally prepared to ask him more questions. Spike was still sleeping upstairs, she didn’t feel the need to wake him now. The letter to Celestia could wait. This was going to require further investigation...

+++++

The walk to the mayor’s office was short enough, but the town was so eerie when it was empty. Everypony was still cowering in their homes waiting out a monster attack that never came. To Applejack, it was frustrating. She wanted to yell at them for mindlessly listening to Pinkie Pie like she was some kind of pony prophet. Even she could make mistakes, too! Applejack knew it was all the fault of her Pinkie sense; predicting the future without fail is an amazing gift, but not when the sway she held on the townfolk could cause more problems than it could solve.

Applejack rapped her hoof on the door of the town hall. No response.

“Mayor Mare? Ah know yer in there. It’s me, Applejack! C’mon an’ let me in so I can talk to ya!”

Still no response. She could hear some hushed whispers behind the door.

“Miss Mare, this is important! Ah need tah talk to ya!”

Faint clops were heard from the other side as Mayor Mare slowly paced to the door. She cracked it open just enough to see the pony on the other side.

“Applejack? What are you doing outside? The monster could get you!”

The hat-wearing farmpony rolled her eyes in exasperation. “That what ah need to talk to you about! Now, will you please let me in?”

The door was shut for a moment as the mayor slid the door-chain off. She re-opened it, waving her in while eying the empty streets outside cautiously. When Applejack was inside, the door was slammed, the chain replaced, and the deadbolt was locked.

“Ok, what is it that you wanted to talk about?”

Applejack recapped the events of the day, explaining the misunderstanding to the aged mare. Mayor Mare was skeptical.

“So you say that this... thing means no harm?”

“YES!” Applejack exclaimed. “That’s why ah need you to tell the rest of the town as well!”

“Are you sure, Applejack? If what you say is true, then Ellis... he still has his knife with him?”

The orange pony bit her lip. She had completely forgotten about it. “Uh... yeah...”

“And you brought him into Ponyville?!” Her stress-wrinkled eyes narrowed.

“Well he ain’t done no harm! Ah can vouch fer that personally!”

Mayor Mare shook her head. “You of all ponies! So naive! That doesn’t matter if he’s carrying a weapon! He’s dangerous either way!”

Applejack’s face got hot. “He only has it because he was fighting for his life before he got here! Fer all the things he’s been through, don’t you think he deserves some kindness?”

The mayor huffed. “Just what makes you think he won’t hurt anypony? How can we trust him?”

“Because the first thing that ah did when ah met him was buck ‘em between the legs!”

She winced visibly. Applejack was the strongest mare she knew. “And...?”

She looked to the floor, the guilt of hurting the human resurfacing. “He didn’t get angry. He didn’t try tah hurt me back. He jus’ smiled an’ fergave me, before ah could even fergive mahself.”

Mayor Mare hesitated. “But... how is it even possible? He’s so... strange... and...”

Applejack interrupted. “Haven’t you learned anything from when Zecora first came to Ponyville?” She placed her hoof on the mayor’s back. “Miss Mare, you have mah word that no harm will come to anypony from him or anything that has tah do with him, ok? Me an’ mah friends’ll look out for him. I swear it as the most dependable pony of Ponyville.”

The brown-grey pony sighed, defeated. “Alright, Miss Applejack, you’ve convinced me.” Her gaze hardened. “On these conditions! You have to follow up on your word to watch him and,” She paused and added extra sternness to her voice. “You have to confiscate his weapon. I don’t care if it belongs to him. He doesn’t need it anymore, and we must compromise for the sake of the citizens’ safety and peace of mind.”

Applejack smiled. She could settle on that. “Alright. Can you round up the townfolk for a meeting?”

Mayor Mare turned to her office door. “Yes, in a few short hours. I need to inform the authorities and arrange a public announcement. He’ll be welcome before evening.”

“Thank you very much, Miss Mare. Ah won’t ferget it!”

The mid-aged mare looked back at Applejack. “I don’t trust him, but I trust you. I trust that you and your friends can make sure he won’t disturb the peace that I work to maintain every day. I’ll grant him a welcome, but after that, he’s your responsibility.” She closed her office door without another word.

The farmpony released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. ”That coulda gone better...” She exited the mayor’s home and set off to find Rarity.

+++++

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes shimmered in fascination as Ellis explained how an “engine” worked.

“...So, these little controlled explosions push the cylinder up alongside other cylinders doin’ the same thing, an’ that makes the axle turn, which goes to the drive belt an’ then to the wheels. That’s only the basics of it, but you can kinda get the idea.”

Everything that he said so far had been furiously recorded onto parchment, the notes already made and inch-thick stack by her side. The inkwell was nearly gone, and she broke her quill and had to replace it at one point. Good thing she always had extras. She wouldn’t want to miss a second of this.

The world he had so far described was unreal. Impossibly tall buildings with frames made of strengthened steel, automobiles, computers, advanced technological and medicinal feats... why hadn't she heard of this place before? Was it part of the unexplored territories of the world? Why hadn’t any humans been here prior? Twilight furrowed her brow in cognition. She had to know exactly where he came from.

“Ellis,” She held up her hoof to stop him. “Before you go on, I need to know where exactly where you’re from.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t ah already tell ya? Ah came from Savannah, in the state a’ Georgia.”

She shook her head. “No, I mean where on the map.” Using her magic, she carefully cleared a place on the table. Then, she levitated a rolled-up map of the know world from across the room, unfurled it, and flattened it on the wooden surface. It was old, yes, the parchment was cracked in some places and the ink was starting to fade, but it was still consistent.

“Can you show me where it is?”

Ellis scratched his rough stubble while he studied the map. None of it was familiar. The water bodies were out of place. There were too many land masses. It had been a long time since he actually looked at a world map, but he knew that this looked nothing like it.“Naw, man, this map ain’t right at all. There must be something wrong here.”

Twilight blinked. “The map is as accurate and up-to-date as any!” She placed the tip of her hoof on a large, bordered province near the center of the map. “This right here is where we are, in Equestria. Do you know where Savannah is from here?”

“Nothin’ on this map is right, miss. Ahm no collage professor, but ah know what the world looks like.” He pointed to the various land masses. Twilight noticed that his hand was trembling. “This shouldn’t be here... and this... and...” His chest began to heave. His forehead broke into a sweat. The map doesn’t match... The map doesn’t match... His memory flashed back to the bridge... the tank... the explosion... the water... Ellis, like when one realizes they are in a dream, started to realize something was amiss in his current reality. Talking ponies? Pegasi? Magic? It didn’t make any sense!

Twilight noticed Ellis was straining when he stopped in mid-sentence and started to mutter inaudible things under his breath.

“Ellis? Where did you come from? How did you get here?”

He merely gazed forward, locked in a thousand-mile stare. “Ah... ah died...”

“What?”

“Ah died... oh God... oh God!”

With a clipped yelp, he attempted to stand up too fast, only to stumble back onto his back again and simultaneously kicking the table over. Twilight evaded it in a daze of confusion while Ellis scooted his heels until his back was against the far wall.

“Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit...” He hyperventilated. “This can’t be real... this ain’t real!”

The purple unicorn realized that he must be suffering some kind of delayed shock. She started to panic. She had no idea how to deal with this kind of situation, especially since it involved a being that she had no knowledge about. He might have a completely different psychological order!

“Ellis! Please! Tell me what’s wrong! Why did you say you died?”

He buried his face between his knees, gripping his hair between his fingers. “Ah fell off a bridge! You don’t fall sixhunnerd feet face-first into a river and live!”

Twilight decided that keeping him talking might keep him from the deep end. “What were you doing on a bridge?”

“Runnin’... runnin’ from the zombies... They had us a way outta that hell. We were runnin’ to safety!”

She slowly stepped towards him, not sure of the validity of his story. For all she knew, the events he was detailing may just have been figments, hallucinations. “We? Who were you with?”

“Mah friends... Nick an’ Coach an’ Rochelle... we were fightin’ through the infected.”

As Twilight inched closer, she cradled the fear that Applejack may have left her with a madmare. Why does he reject his reality? Why hadn’t he shown signs of this instability before? She was within a few feet of him by then. She could see the beads of sweat on his face. She could smell his absolute terror.

“What happened? What happened next?”

“Then... then the... the...”

“The what?!”

He fixed his stare on Twilight and pointed a twitchy finger at her. “I shouldn’t be tellin’ you! You ain’t real! None a’ this is real! It can’t be real...! Ahm dead, man!”

She couldn’t let him go insane. She couldn’t possibly tell Applejack that she failed at keeping him safe and sound. So, she had to take immediate action. Rearing up on her hind legs, she climbed on top him, firmly placed her hooves on his chest, and asserted her voice over the din of his hysterics, face to face.

“LISTEN TO ME, ELLIS! YOU ARE NOT DEAD! This is all real! I’m real! You’re real!” Ellis only stared back into her violet eyes, silent. Twilight pressed on. “I don’t know how you got here, but you’re here, ok? That’s a fact! SNAP OUT OF IT!!!”

She panted, exhausted from shouting at the top of her lungs. Ellis remained in place, blankly gazing into her eyes. No expression could be read on his face. The stillness was suffocating and Twilight began to fear that she had somehow made it worse. Then, Ellis slowly raised his arm from his side and placed it upon the side of the pony’s neck, feeling the softness of her coat, clinging to the sensation as his mind’s lifeline to the truth. Twilight shuddered at the contact; his hand was cold, but it was strangely gentle. His hand slid up to her muzzle, rubbing the finer, softer fur of her face in a trance-like state. She still did not move, but a blushed surfaced under her eyes. Her heart, she realized was fluttering with such an intimate contact.

“You’re... you’re real...” He finally spoke. His eyes misted. “Yer real!” Twilight yelped as she was pulled into his arms. She sighed in relief as the tension was lifted from the air while Ellis continued to embrace her. She had averted that crisis, at least, there was no telling what would have happened if he went over.

Twilight tried to wrap her forelegs around his broad chest, failed, and decided to hang one over his shoulder instead. She patted her hoof on his back as his joyful tears moistened her mane.

“It’s ok, Ellis, there’s nothing to be afraid of here. Nopony would ever hurt you.” She was unsure of whether her comforting words affected him or not, but she did conclude that, considering what had happened today with Applejack, he could be a bit touchy-feely. Honestly, she thought, the hug wasn’t really necessary.

“Ok, Ellis, that’s enough hugging.”

No response.

“Really, I mean it.”

He still persisted.

“ELLIS! LET GO!”

“Oh shit, sorry.” He released her from his grip and sat up. Twilight huffed.

“Honestly, do you just have get that close to everypony?”

Ellis twiddled his fingers. “Sorry ‘bout that. Ah guess ah lost mah head there for a bit. This still doesn’t make any sense, though.”

“What doesn’t make any sense?”

“How ah got here and all. I remember free-fallin’ off a’ that bridge. Ah blacked out and the next thing ah knew ah was in Applejack’s apple grove.”

The unicorn was, too, perplexed. It didn’t make any sense that he would wind up here right before his... death. Magic, maybe? Did somepony bring him here? Why him? Why in Sweet Apple Acres? It was moot, anyhow. Neither of them knew the answers. Instead, she decided to ask another question.

“Ellis, do you think you could tell me about your friends? About these ‘zombies’?”

+++++

Applejack clopped through the empty market to the food store. The town’s mood was starting to change. After an hour of waiting, some of the ponies had started to peek out their doors and windows. A few of the braver ponies started to re-populate the streets, albeit most were still locked inside their homes. She came into the entrance of the quill and sofa store, musing that she still had no idea why the store’s owner would choose such an esoteric pair of products to sell. An even greater wonder is why it was still in business. Not a lot of ponies had a constant demand for quills and sofas, save Twilight and some others for quills, but sofas aren’t something that ponies purchase on a daily basis.

Stepping inside to the cool interior, she only had to look briefly to find the alabaster fashionista. She was inspecting a plush piece of furniture with her hoof holding her chin, perplexity on her face. To make it even more obvious, she was wearing a big light-green, feathered hat. Applejack approached her.

Rarity noticed her presence and glanced in her direction, double-taking as she realized it was her friend Applejack.

“Applejack!” She exclaimed in mild surprise. “So good to see you today! I thought you were at the farm working. What brings you here?”

“Ah think we both know exactly what brought me here.” She gestured her head to the window overlooking the empty streets outside.

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Oh, that whole charade? Honestly, there needs to be more ponies in this town that have more sense than to listen to Pinkie Pie’s overreactions. A giant knife-wielding monster? It’s simply ridiculous!” She turned back to mulling over the sofa’s details. “Well, at least I can shop for decor in peace. What do you think of this one? Does it like like it will fit in with the lounge?”

Applejack sighed (YET AGAIN) and remembered the virtues of patience. She didn’t want to get herself worked up more than she needed to. “Rarity, ah came to see ya so you can meet a new feller.”

“Really?” She raised her eyebrow. “What does that have to do with Ponyville in panic?”

Applejack explained the situation to her as she had done with Mayor Mare. Rarity held herself with genuine interest.

“A new creature? Oh, do tell, Applejack, what does he look like?”

“You can see fer yerself, Rarity. Ahm here tah take ya to see him.”

“Really? Haven’t you told him anything about me?”

“Well, no... but he did say he was looking forward tah meetin’ ya.”

Rarity looked at the sofa she was examining. “Well, I suppose I could...” She turned to Applejack, resolute. “Let me finish up a few things here and I shall meet you at the library. Tell Mr. Ellis that I am eager to meet him.”

The farmpony nodded. “Sure thing, Rarity. I’ll go an’ see him now. Hopefully, he hasn't driven her up the wall yet.” With that mixed message, she turned to exit the store. The violet-maned unicorn called after her.

“Don’t worry, Applejack! I shan't be long!” When Applejack left the store, she returned to engrossing herself into the sofa, suddenly wondering why she was so indecisive...

+++++

While Ellis’s previous stories have been fascinating, the story of him killing his way to safety and survival had been terrifying in its implications. Twilight listened with a heavy heart as he described how a vast majority of his hometown’s population became sick with an incurable disease, called the Green Flu. He said that all the people who have been exposed would eventually lose their rational thought and turn into what he called “infected”. Humans who have been debased to mindlessly violent animals who hungered for uninfected flesh. He also explained that they weren’t actually undead, which made his claims more plausible for Twilight. She knew that once a living thing died, it could not be reanimated by any kind of virus. He only called them zombies because they looked like and acted like the unliving legend.

What really caught her ear, however, was Ellis’s friends that he made during this event. Three other beings thrown together with him into a fight for survival, they all slowly settled their differences and worked to help each other. He described Coach, an aging man with plenty of leadership qualities, even though eh was a bit overweight. Rochelle, a kind, professional journalist who didn’t seem like the type at all to be in that mess. Then, he told Twilight about Nick. Nick was a conniving con-man who drifted into Savannah at the worst possible time. Ellis’s description of him reminded her of Trixie; narcissistic, snarky, and intent on making gain off of others’ ignorance and gullibility. She couldn’t possibly imagine being stuck with him for any amount of time, but then Ellis told of how, over weeks of battling infected city after city, he transitioned from what he was to a man who held at least mutual respect for the rest of his teammates, although begrudgingly.

It was friendship forged by fire. Alliances bonded through depending on each other in times of violence and war. Twilight had heard tales of such things, but she had no idea they held true. Such traumatic experiences have never occurred in Equestria. No wars had ever been fought since Princess Celestia began her rule.

“Ellis,” Twilight implored “Can you tell me exactly what happened on that bridge before you fell?”

The human adjusted his sitting position. “We were crossin’ the bridge to the other side where the last of the military evacuations were. It would have been the last leg of the run, too, before we were gonna be flown outta there. We started crossing, which came with fighting more zombies an’ shit, but at first it went off without a hitch. We were halfway through when the tank showed up...”

“Tank?” She inquired.

“Some of the infected, over time, and for whatever reason ah cain’t explain, they started to mutate into something else. The ‘special infected’ are tough sonsuvbitches. There are many kinds, but the tank... the tank is the toughest of them all.”

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked tentatively, uneasy on whether or not she actually wanted to know.

Ellis suddenly got on his feet for the purpose of adding effect. “Think of me, ‘cept nothin’ like me. A tank is a guy with huge-ass muscles all over his body, more than humanly possible! It’s like some sorta zombie Hulk, they can charge through walls of solid concrete, throw cars on top of ya, and launch a grown man 50 feet through the air!”

Twilight gasped. Such a powerful thing, only dedicated to wanton violence and killing. Such a prospect was unthinkable.

“W-what happened?”

“He came along, right between us and the way to the chopper. We all tried to kill ‘em, but he decided to come after me. I’m not exactly sure what happened, but I was runnin’ from him when some explosion threw me an’ him off the bridge.” He paused, suddenly melancholy, a mood she had never seen him in. “Ah hope the others got out alright...”

Twilight was about to respond when a knock came to the door. The unicorn used her magic to open it.

Applejack invited herself into the library. “Hey y’all! Hey Ellis.”

Ellis made a tip-of-the-hat motion, but his cap wasn’t on at the moment. It was a library, after all, and he took care to mind his manners.

“What’d you two do while I was gone?”

Twilight waved her hoof to the hefty stack of parchment on the table. “Ellis and I were just talking about where he came from. It’s quite fascinating.” No need to mention his breakdown, though. She justified that it was no longer relevant, since he seemed to be accepting his disposition.

“Ah hope ya didn’t get him too worked up.” She chuckled. Twilight and Ellis shifted uncomfortably.

“Did you get Mayor Mare to hold a town gathering?”

Applejack nodded. “She said It’ll be goin’ in a few hours.”

“What about Rarity?”

“She said she’s on her way. She’ll be here soon. Y’all wanna wait outside? It’s kinda stuffy in here...”

The two noticed that it was indeed getting warm and stale inside. They both agreed and left through the front entrance.

It was now mid-afternoon outside. Twilight realized that they must have talking for over an hour. She inhaled the cooling air. Even though she was a bookworm she still enjoyed being outside at times. Nature had its own intellectual beauty. The trio passed the time out of the front steps talking about small things when Applejack saw her friend in the distance.

“Hey it’s Rarity!” She waved at the white unicorn in the distance. Ellis did likewise. Rarity approached the group, tipping her hat up to catch a view of the newcomer. What she saw caused her to intake a sharp breath.

She choked. She shrieked. She made several frantic and unknown signs to ward off evil, and swore on many old, long forgotten fashion saints. Before her stood a swirling, twisting nightmare of everything she held to be wicked. An enigma of practicality and void of all divinity. Pinkie was right, she thought, this is a monster!

Those pants! “Dirty!”

That shirt! “Ugly!”

That hat! “Garish!”

Rarity’s eyes turned to fiery passion as she glared daggers, knives, swords, axes, halberds, safety pins, and any other sharp tool or weapon known to pony and mankind directly at Ellis.

“This! This I cannot allow to exist within the same plane of existence as I! Your garb is an affront to fashion. IT MUST BE DESTROYED!!!” Seemingly from nowhere, the alabaster unicorn levitated scissors, thread, sewing needles, and several rolls of fabric. Her magical blue aura burned with a furious zeal. She was fear incarnate. On the soon-to-be receiving end, Ellis had been paralyzed with almighty terror.

“Ellis.” Applejack said as the fashionista broke into a juggernaut charge, her instruments of both destruction and creation trailing behind her.

“Yeah, AJ?”

“Run.”

Meet Ellis... Again

6800 words? I really spoil you guys... I hope this tides you over for a bit because I'm gonna work on Grey Warden Gilda and a oneshot er two.

Rainbow Dash occupied four worn hoofprints outside of the apothecarium. She had been standing in the same spot for over 15 minutes. Her mind played every prediction she could come up with of how he would react, and none of them contained a yes. She thought up every way she could approach him. Start with idle conversation and then slip in the question, or just ask outright? She fidgeted with indecision, her wings twitched under the strain of frustration.

“Uhh... hey, Dominic. Do you think you could do something for me? No no no... Uh... I was thinking, since you’re such a great guy and all...! Grr!” Dash quietly rehearsed herself. She wasn’t used to asking other ponies for favors this way. Usually, she’d find one of her friends and politely rope them into whatever she needed them to do, like when she got Fluttershy to come with her to Cloudsdale for the Young Fliers Competition. That wouldn’t work in this case. To start off, Dominic was not, in any sense of the word, a social butterfly. His approachability on any given day was limited. She looked over the stonework building that he lived and worked in. Rusted ironwork jutted from the edge of the roof. The cobbled stones were all shades of grey, grey, and grey. It was pitted with signs of weathering and decay. Twilight had described it as macabre. Naturally, Rainbow Dash had asked what the hay that meant. She said it meant “creepy”. The cyan pegasus replied saying that she could have said that in the first place. Twilight merely rolled her eyes.

On the wall next to the door was a half-circle, curved side facing up. On the left side was a swatch of dark red. On the right side was a swatch of bright green. In between was several other colors that graduated to and from the respective colors. On the bottom center of this half-circle was a pivoting dial, attached to a black and white arrow that would point to the different pigments. This simple, seemingly pointless device was what Dominic used to display his approachability for the day. After weeks of him exploding at ponies due to his impatience, Twilight had set that there as a solution to that issue, so every time his mood changed, he’d set the dial accordingly. Green meant he was probably skipping in joy and breaking out into songs about flowers and birdies (that’ll happen as soon as pigs fly). Red meant he was ready to kill something with his stare. Not surprisingly, the dial was inversely indicative to how absorbed he was in his work. Today, the arrow pointed right in the middle, leaning slightly to the left.

That meant that it was more or less a regular day for the chemist, but that doesn’t help Rainbow Dash at all. She was, after all, about to come to him with the most personal request she had ever asked. She would be in a similar nerve-wracked state regardless of the pony she had to ask. Her eyelids pinched together. She walked up the small, stone porch leading to the building’s heavy, wooden door. Carefully, she put a hoof on the frame and, with some effort, pushed it open. The door ringer chimed.

The first thing that hit her was the smell. Nowhere in Equestria can anypony find the same collection of stenches. It was like a 50-year old rotten sock saturated in cleaning chemicals, left out in the sun to dry, and baked in a dirty oven. It drilled into Dash’s snout relentlessly, nearly making her loose control of her stomach. She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed onward into the dimly lit residence. The store part was, true to its fashion, an area of walls lined with shelves housing potions and mixtures. In the back of this area was a quaint wooden counter, obviously newer than the house itself. Behind the counter was Dominic’s workplace, a room stuffed with tables that were cluttered with funky shaped glassware. A plethora of liquids bubbled and siphoned into other containers from a web-work of tubes and spigots. The smell became stronger as Rainbow Dash got closer to the workplace. Peering around the corner, she could see her intended objective.

Dominic had a quill in his mouth, scribing some notes on a sheet of parchment. His brow was taunt with concentration and his hooves were rested on the edge of the table. He stopped only to dip his quill in a rather gummy and well used clay inkpot before he began to scribble more notes down. Dash stepped into his workplace and cleared her throat softly.

Dominic’s fur bristled as he impersonally spat out the quill onto the table and reared his head towards the intrusion.

“WHAT?!”

She recoiled, her well-rehearsed plan suddenly forgotten. The chemist earth pony sighed.

“I’m terribly sorry Rainbow, I had no idea it was you. I didn’t even hear you coming in! Must have been too engrossed in writing this.” He picked the quill back up into his maw. “Did you need something, my dear?”

Dash fidgeted. Up close, and true to her previous words, he smelled terrible, so bad that it was distinctive from the background smell. “Uh... yeah. Just... just a small thing...”

He brushed his long, unwashed hair out of his eyes and continued to write. “Well? Anything that I can be of assistance?”

She started to sweat. Her words snagged in her throat. “I... I just... need a potion for something...”

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that. If you need a potion, then I could most likely provide it.”

Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth and tightened her eyes together. Her voice cracked. “I need a potion that can give me hands!”

Dominic stopped writing. He stopped thinking. He took several moments to register and re-register her request. When it was thoroughly processed, and when he double-checked to make sure he didn’t mishear, his neck muscles went limp and his head fell to the table with a soft thump.

“Oh Rainbow Dash... you’re killing me...”

Before she could reply, his hooves were thrown up in the air in exasperation. “It’s just so stupidly consistent! Almost every one of you girls come to me with completely random requests! And now you want hands? WHERE THE FLYING FAUST DID HANDS COME FROM-”

He clopped to the ground as a coughing fit exploded from his trachea, wracking his entire body. To Dash, it sounded like he was gonna croak right there and then, but Dominic’s coughs always sounded like that. Something wrong with his lungs or something, she couldn’t remember exactly why at that moment. He finally finished, albeit he was breathing quite heavily.

“Don’t let me get worked up like that...” His eyes watered with the exertion. “But really, I’m afraid of what you girls think about in your spare time. Where did your deep, dark fetish come from?”

His deep-blue gaze unnerved her even further, if such a thing was possible. “Uh... well... this guy came to Ponyville. He’s not a pony. He calls himself a ‘human’ or something-”

“And you just happen to mention this off-hoofedly? Tell me, why wasn’t this new development the first thing to reach my ears?”

“I was gonna get to it...”

He waved his hoof. “Sure, sure...”

She continued, more hesitant than ever as she recalled the embarrassing fiasco she so unwittingly created. What came over her, she had no idea. When she saw those hands, something clicked in her brain. Something that she didn’t believe could exist within her psych. She’d never been this... this... wanting of something in all her life. She’d always wanted to fly fast, she’d always wanted to be a Wonderbolt, but this was something deeper. Something carnal. Something within her body that craved it with a fiery passion. She wanted to feel it for herself. The flexible stimulation. The sensation of dexterity. It almost hurt.

“Well... he has hands... and I thought they were kinda cool, so I want to try ‘em and stuff...” Her voice petered out at that point.

“Why can’t you go to Twilight with this? I’m sure she has a spell that could suffice.”

“She... she doesn’t have one.” Dash lied. She couldn’t possibly face the unicorn after what happened earlier.

“Rainbow, I’m not some kind of personal provider of wanton satisfaction! Where does the practicality come into play? You certainly don’t need... hands to fly.” He was like that. The need for practical reasons was a trait he shared with Twilight.

“I just wanna try ‘em out, that’s all.” She offered meekly.

Dominic thought for a moment. “No.”

“What? Why?”

“Every time I give you girls a potion merely to ‘try’ it always ends up in an embarrassing disaster. I have enough foresight to know that this time will be no different.”

She got closer and implored with all her might. “Oh, come on! Please! A couple hours is all I need! What could possibly go wrong?”

The aged stallion gave her a hard glare. “My disposition still stands. I will not risk yours or anypony’s well-being to sate your... inane desires.”

Rainbow Dash appeared smitten as Dominic went back to his table and resumed his writing. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must return to my work.”

Failing to think of anything else to say that would convince the old-timer otherwise, she rushed out the front door, taking off to the skies immediately thereafter. She was glad to be out of that smelly place, but her urges were still eating her inside-out. She had to think of something else...

Meanwhile, Dominic dried his ink and flipped the parchment over, preparing to mark the other side.

“Mares...” He muttered.

+++++

It goes without saying that you learn something new everyday. Their situation was no exception. That day, Twilight learned much about humans and their futuristic and fascinating world. Applejack gained a new perspective on judging character.

Rarity learned that humans could run fast.

But for the time, the denizens of Ponyville were treated to quite a sight. A rough, dirty bipedal creature hollering at the top of his lungs, running for the sake of his safety and well being, followed by a frothing mad alabaster unicorn sporting tailor’s equipment. Some ponies were scared, some were confused, some ponies realized their destinies to become great heroes and someday bring peace and prosperity to Equestria from the hooves of evil, fashion loving demon mistresses before winding up in a padded room tied up in a straight jacket, cackling madly about their non-existent conquests.

But that’s besides the point.

Fortunately for Ellis, Rarity never had that much endurance to begin with, so she soon tired out and calmed down long enough for Applejack and Twilight to convince her that she and the human could co-exist. The fashionista agreed to allow him to wear his garb for now, which was as far as anypony would get with her. This was Rarity, after all. She huffed and begrudgingly followed the gang back to the library, all the while glaring venom at Ellis.

The orange earth pony approached the human. “Hey, Ellis...”

Ellis looked at her, his sweat made his bangs cling to his forehead. “Yeah, AJ?

“Ah talked to the mayor an’ ah made a promise to take yer... weapon from ya.”

Ellis hesitated. He’s had that machete for a long time; put the grip-tape on it himself. But, since he more-or-less escaped from the zombie apocalypse, he honestly didn’t need it anymore. Still...

“We won’t break it or nothin’. We jus’ need tah keep it so nopony will get scared.” Applejack reassured.

“Well, ah guess that makes sense. Just take care, it’s kinda important to me.” He undid the sheath strap that encircled his chest and held out the blade within its scabbard. A purple aura surrounded his possession and it was levitated from his hand.

“Don’t worry, Applejack.” Twilight brought the object with her back into the library. “I have the perfect place for this, if you don’t mind, that is.”

Applejack waved her hoof. “No problem, Twi. There ain’t no better pony to keep it safe than yerself.”

All four entered the library once again. Twilight went upstairs, Ellis’s machete still floating close to her. She then rested it on a shelf above her bed. With an intense glow from her horn, the cubbyhole faded, replaced with an enchanted invisible wall. It was virtually indiscriminate from the rest of the wall; even the grain matched it perfectly. Nopony, save herself and a few other talented unicorns, would be able to see through the illusion. A perfect plan, hiding something in plain sight. There was no question about the sanctuary of Ellis’s machete. As she turned to head back downstairs, Spike’s bed caught her eye, which reminded her of her intention to send a letter to Princess Celestia. She completely forgot! Mentally facehoofing, she trotted over to her assistant’s crib.

A sudden thought struck her. How could he have slept through that incident earlier? She knew that the little dragon was a heavy sleeper, but not at this time of the day.

“Spike!” Twilight admonished. “It’s way past noon! Time to get up!”

No response.

Using her magic, she yanked the blankets off of what she assumed was the snoring body of Spike. Her fears were confirmed when she found only a collection of pillows and stuffed dolls that were expertly placed to look like him. Anger burned on the unicorn’s cheeks. Spike, she realized, thought he could fool her with such a childish trick! It worked, for the most part, he must have been gone for a long while, considering that Ellis’s episode was at least a few hours ago. The one day Twilight hadn’t bothered to wake him up, he had to go and pull this stunt.

But where was he now?

She was soon answered by the sound of her bedroom window creaking open. In stepped the escapist, a bulging satchel hung around his shoulder. He took no notice of the furious pony and instead relished his loot, holding it up in his claws. He quietly chuckled to himself.

“Safe at last. You’re all mine... -OOF!”

He ran face-first into the librarian. The bag fell from his grip and its contents spilled from inside. They were pearls, an unusual treat for dragons, but not out of the question. They weren’t deep-earth gems, but made by the giant clams off coast. Minerals all the same. Spike sputtered as he met eyes with Twilight.

“Oh, uh, hey Twi! Uh... I brought you some... uh... souvenirs?”

She only glared. “Spike! How could you? You tricked me and snuck away for some pearls?!”

He stood up, frantically shaking his head at her accusation. “It’s not what it looks like! I swear!”

“Where did you even get them?”

“Uh... the merchant outside of town. He was just about to leave, so I got some of the pearls...”

“You STOLE THEM?!”

“No no no! I paid for them! Honest!”

She pointed to the ivory orbs resting on the floor. “You don’t have enough bits to pay for all those!”

“I... uh... sorta threw in a couple of my dragon scales too... the guy seemed to like them...”

Coastal ponies were like that. They treasured uncommon things often, and it wasn’t everyday that you get a chance to collect a few genuine dragon scales. Still, she believed exploiting his own body for monetary gain was wrong. Her glare only intensified.

“Why couldn’t you have asked? I could have let you buy a few!”

Spike tapped his index claws together. “Well... I was afraid that he’d leave soon! You weren’t here, and I didn’t want you to know that I was gone without your... permission...”

Twilight facehoofed. “Spike... it’s been hectic around here... What if I needed an urgent letter to Celestia?”

“I’m sorry, ok? I just wanted some pearls! Is it really that hard to understand? The guy only comes to Ponyville once every few years!” He crossed his stubby arms and pouted.

Twilight sighed. “Do you even know what’s been going on around here?”

He glanced back at the window. “Does it have something to with the town being completely empty?”

Ellis called from downstairs. “Hey Twi! Who ya talkin’ to?”

“Who’s that?” Spike inquired.

“That’s Ellis. He is the reason why Ponyville is empty. We’re sorting that out right now.”

Spike began to pick up the pearls and put them back in his bag. “Why would he be the reason?”

“Go meet him and see for yourself.”

“Alright, alright.” He began to hop down the stairs when the bag he was holding was magically pulled from his claws. “Hey! What gives?”

“Oh no, Spike, you aren’t getting these until you’ve made up to me for sneaking out like that!”

“But... but...” The baby dragon weakly protested. He really couldn’t say anything that would convince the unicorn, so he stomped off in a huff.

When Spike was gone, Twilight went back to the enchanted cubbyhole and hovered the bag through the non-existent wall. It rippled and shimmered like the surface of an agitated pond, but soon it returned to its former disguise.

”Why hadn’t I thought of this earlier?” She silently wondered.

+++++

Ellis gawked at Spike.

Spike, in turn, gawked back at Ellis.

The two merely stared at each other, mouths agape. Their arms hung limply at their sides. Their eyes were as wide as saucers. The silence suffocated the air around them. Rarity and Applejack had no idea whatsoever of what was going on. It was as if they were locked in a wordless conflict to see who would react first. The tension electrified the atmosphere. Finally, the human raised his arm and pointed directly at Spike.

“That...” He said befuddley. “...Is a miniature Barney.”

At that same moment, in a parallel universe, someone, somewhere, suddenly died of a massive stroke.

“I’m a dragon! And my name is Spike!” He shouted with leftover indignity from having his treats taken away.

Ellis scratched his chin. “You cain’t be a dragon! Yer way too small.”

Applejack cleared her throat. “He’s a baby dragon.”

“I’m not a baby!”

The human stooped down to observe the spiteful creature. “If yer a dragon, where’s yer wings? Don’t dragons got wings?”

“He’s an uncommon breed of wingless dragon.” Twilight explained matter-of-factly as she descended the steps. “But he’s still classified as a dragon.”

Spike’s cheeks went hot and he folded his arms. “Thanks a lot, Twi...” He’s always felt ashamed of his lack of wings.

“But you can still breath fire, right?” Ellis questioned. “‘Cause really, breathin’ fire’s the important thing.”

Spike could send notes to the princess via magic fire, but his actual fire-breathing skills were not-so-good. It wasn’t very hot, nor very long; it was only about 2-3 feet, and Twilight forbade him to practice in the library. When he did practice, he’d usually tire out after four or so times.

“Uh... I’m working on it.”

Applejack queried the human. “Ellis, do you have dragons where yer from?”

“Nope.” He replied plainly. “We also don’t have unicorns ‘er pegasi ‘er magic.”

Twilight took interest. “Then how do you know of them?”

“Where ahm from, those are all made-up things from old myth. Magic ain’t possible there, either, as far as ah know.”

“Myth?” Rarity spoke. “How inconsiderate of them!”

“You don’t seem that surprised to meet a dragon...” The lavender unicorn mused.

He raised an eyebrow. “Twi, I’ve seen a lot of crazy shit, and considerin’ what happened today, I don’t think anything can surprise me anymore.”

A soft knock sounded from the door, causing all head in the room to turn it its direction. The door opened and Fluttershy stuck her head inside.

“Um... Mayor Mare sent me to get all of you. The town meeting is going to start in 30 minutes.”

Twilight walked over to her writing desk. “You guys go ahead. I have to write to Celestia first.” Levitating parchment, quill , and ink, she began composing her letter. Rarity, Applejack, Ellis and Fluttershy exited the library and headed in the direction of the town hall. Spike stood beside the writing desk, twiddling his claws.

“Uh... Twilight? Don’t you want me to write it?”

“No, Spike.” She replied without even glancing up form her scribing. “I’ll do the writing this time. It’s only a short note.” When she was finished, she proof-read the letter to make sure it was passable.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I am writing to inform you of the recent events here in Ponyville. A creature by the name of “Ellis” was found by Applejack in her grove. He is not a pony, but something that I have never seen or heard about before. He calls himself a “human”. Bipedal, intelligent, capable of complex emotion and speech. He is friendly, thankfully, and is about to be introduced to the town. I shall keep you informed of any future events.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

“Ok, Spike, send it on its way.” She rolled the paper up and sealed it with a scarlet ribbon. Spike grabbed it out of the air.

“You got it!” Sucking in a deep breath, he incinerated with his signature emerald fire into a twinkling puff of smoke. The two watched it snake out the window and fly towards the palace.

“Come on, lets catch up with the others.”

+++++

Applejack hustled to get beside Fluttershy. The canary pegasus acknowledged her with a nod.

“Did ya have any luck with Pinks?”

“Well... no. She’s out of the kitchen, but then she locked herself upstairs. I tried everything! I even tried getting her with apple-maple hard candies, but she still won’t come out.”

The orange farmpony flinched. “That bad?”

She nodded yes. “I’ve never seen her this irrational before. I don’t know what’s gotten into her...”

“AJ?” Ellis intervened. “I’d just like tah say that ahm sorry fer that again.”

“Ellis, this ain’t yer fault. Pinkie’s jus’ being more stubborn than cold molasses.”

Fluttershy glanced back at the group. “Where’s Rainbow Dash?”

“We haven’t seen her since... well... ya know...” Applejack made a vague gesture, not willing to mention that event. That was something AJ would rather forget.

Arriving at the towering town hall, the five were ushered into the building by a pair of blue-uniformed police ponies. They seemed on edge with the human in their presence, despite Applejack’s assurance. When they were all inside, Mayor Mare stood stoically waiting. Her legs faltered ever so slightly at the sight of the imposing bipedal, but she kept her diplomatic composure to the best of her ability.

Twilight stood between them and spoke, hoping to ease the strain. “Ellis, this is Mayor Mare. Mayor, this is Ellis McKinney.”

Ellis stooped to a crouch and held out his hand, smiling sincerely. “It’s a pleasure tah meet ya, Miss.”

The mid-aged mare took the hand with a half-hearted shake. This was not at all what she had been expecting. She imagined the human looked terrifying or vulgar to cause such a disturbance, but his appearance was only strange. In addition, is mannerism and behavior was polite, yet informal and friendly. Still, she clung to some of her skepticism as a precaution. The population of Ponyville would not be as accepting as Twilight and her friends. She needed to maneuver this carefully.

“Likewise, Ellis, and welcome to Ponyville. I apologize on behalf of everypony in this town for this whole misunderstanding.”

Ellis broke the handshake. “Oh it’s no trouble at all, ma’am.”

A secretary came up to the mayor. “Five minutes, Miss.”

“Thank you.” She turned to the ponies standing next to the human. “I’d like you all to be by my side when I give the announcement. With any luck, having you four will put the crowd at ease.” She sighed. “I’m not going to lie. This is going to be more difficult than you can imagine. I have no idea how hundreds of ponies will react to this!”

”We could hogtie Lily, Daisy, an’ Roseluck. That’ll solve ‘bout half the problem.” Applejack mused silently.

“Don’t worry, Miss Mare, you can count our help.” Twilight encouraged.

Mayor Mare smiled. “I’m sure your help won’t go unnoticed, Twilight.” She paused, then added: “It would probably be best if you four went first. I’ll come to speak for our guest after they’ve been calmed down.”

Twilight, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity took their leave to meet the crowd. Only Ellis and Mayor Mare were left in the room. After a moment of silence, the mayor directed a firm scowl towards the human, causing him to flinch.

“Listen here, Ellis, and listen well.” Her voice, which had previously been polite and neutral, now dripped with unreserved venom and frustration from having to pull together an entire town from the brink of anarchy. “You may have gained the trust of Twilight and her friends, but you haven’t gained mine. You’re trouble, whether you intend to be or not. If you cause any more harm, I guarantee you will hear from me! Do I make myself clear?!”

“Yes, ma’am.” Ellis gulped. She reminded him of his old high school math teacher. He was scared shitless of his old math teacher.

“Good.” She and the human both headed for the door.

Meanwhile, outside, a vast, multicolored crowd of equines endured the idleness. The constant, bearing noise of a hundred conversations at once truncated everypony’s ability to hear. In the front of the crowd were news reporters: earth ponies and unicorns sporting tan jackets, fedoras, pencils, notepads, cameras, and facial hair. They talked amongst themselves above the din of the crowd, vocalizing their impatience, but also anxious to extract some juicy knowledge of what some ponies witnessed as a upright hairless monkey running through the streets. This was definitely front-page news. Pegasi rested upon clouds stagnantly hovering above the grounded ponies and unicorns below. They, too, chatted and waited for the arrival of the town’s mayor. In the back of the crowd stood a sweating, green unicorn, her heart thumped with wild anticipation. Her name was... well, take a friggin’ guess.

The door opened and out came four well-known ponies; four of the six who had saved Equestria twice from the belligerent evils of Night Mare Moon and Discord. Some ponies stopped their conversations to listen to what they may say, while most others continued to buzz on with theirs. The four only conversed among themselves, inaudible to the rest of the crowd, when finally Mayor Mare stepped out with Ellis behind her.

As if one flipped a switch, the background noise ceased immediately when the human came into sight. All that was heard was the after-breath of several gasps. The cameras began blinking out harsh white flashes. The mayor climbed atop the speaking pedestal and panned over the captivated audience before finally speaking.

“Citizens of Ponyville!” The speakers broadcasted to the whole of the crowd. “We are gathered here at this hour to to put at rest the growing fears and unbecoming rumors circulating throughout. Firstly, there is no creature, monster or otherwise, that wishes to do us harm.”

There was a collective exhale of relief. The newsponies furiously scribbled into their notepads as Mayor Mare continued. “Secondly, the one who many of you may have assumed to be hostile has declared his cooperation with our authorities. He is a visitor from a faraway land, and he may look strange, but we mustn't judge him by his appearance. Twilight, prodigy of Princess Celestia herself,” She gestured to said profusely blushing unicorn. “And Applejack, the most dependable pony of Ponyville, have both personally assured me of his good behavior, and I trust that each and every one of you will do the same. Fillies and gentlecolts, Ellis McKinney!”

Ellis was suddenly shoved onto the spotlight in front of the amassed pastel ponies. The crowd started to exchange hushed whispers and remarks as the human began to sweat. He, like any average person, couldn’t smooth their way in front of a huge, scrutinizing audience. Ellis cleared his throat of phlegm and spoke quietly into the microphone.

“Uh... hi. Name’s Ellis. Ahm... uh... new here... and stuff...” He itched the back of his neck with his trembling fingers, frantically searching for more words he could use. “It’s a... uh... nice place y’all got here...”

Mayor Mare saw that he was starting to fumble and leaned into the mic right next to him. “Any questions?”

Dozens of hooves were noisily raised into the air, each one eager to gather information from this new being. The mayor scratched her chin.

“Uh... yes! You there!” She randomly picked a pony.

“What’s your favorite color?!”

Ellis grabbed the mic. “Red, I guess.”

Mayor Mare facehoofed. “Next question...”

“Oh! Oh!” A cross-eyed grey pegasus flailed her forelegs on a stratocumulus above. “Do you like muffins?”

Miss Mare massaged her temples as Ellis answered that question too. “Oatmeal n’ brown sugar’s mah personal favorite.” Derpy squee’d in delight.

“How did you get here?” A more sensible pony asked.

“Man, I’ve been tryin’ tah figure that out all mornin’. Wish ah knew... Jesus...”

The crowd went silent as they contemplated in confusion.

“Who’s Jesus?”

“Isn’t he that guy who hangs out at the bowling alley?”

“Did somepony say my name?”

“He’s kinda a jerk...”

“HEY! DON’T BUCK WITH DA JESUS!”

“That’s enough!” The mayor called out. She pointed to a journalist mare in the front who was waving her hoof in apparent frustration. “Your question?”

“Finally!” She coughed and levitated her pencil to her notepad. “Mr. Ellis? Now that you are here in Ponyville, what is it that you will be doing here?”

“Doing here? Well... ah dunno...” He rested his elbow on the pedestal. “There ain’t no way ah know that can get me back to where ah was... not that I wanna go back to that hole...”

“So you’ll be staying here?”

Ellis nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Another reporter, this one quite cynical by nature, took the opening. “So what next? Are you just going to stay here and do nothing?” Some other ponies agreed at began to jeer.

“No, no, man, ah just haven’t thought it through yet. Ah could do plenty a’ stuff!” He turn back to Applejack, who could see desperation on his face clear as day. “Can ya help me out here?”

Quickly, the farmpony stood by his side, ready to defend her new friend. “Ellis here is perfectly capable of pulling his own weight. He’s welcome to work with me and mah family at Sweet Apple Acres durin’ this applebuckin’ season.”

The human smiled, relieved. “See? I’m pretty darned good with farm work. Thank ya fer being so kind, AJ.”

Applejack tipped her hat. “Sure thing, Mister.”

“Plus,” He added. “Ah get tah spend some more time with ya while we work! Ah still have a ton a cool stories tah tell!”

AJ’s eyes contracted. Her stomach dropped. Her heart went cold as she visualized the result of what she had offered. She would be bucking tree trunks, knocking the prime fruit off of their life-giving branches, letting them fall into buckets and pile onto each other. And Ellis would be there, telling her stories while she bucked. Rambling on and on and on about Keith and cars and Jimmy Gibbs Jr. She wouldn’t wish it on Big Mac nor Granny Smith. She would have to listen to him.

Every minute.

Of every hour.

All. Day. Long.

“HOLD UP!!!” She screamed. The ponies gave her questioning looks. “Uh... I mean... we haven’t explored all the options fer Ellis here. Work on the farm is one thing, but... he could be more use here in Ponyville! He could... help fix up the town!”

The crowded muttered to each other, discussing the idea. Sceptical tones overshadowed the reasonable ones. Mayor Mare trotted to whispering distance of Applejack.

“What are you doing?!”

“Please, Miss Mare!” She implored. “Ya gotta do this fer me!”

“You’re pushing it, Applejack!”

Ellis shrugged, paying no mind to their conversation and addressing the town. “Honestly, ah’d have to say that ah’d probably be better at woodworking an’ shit. Ah think it’s a better idea.”

The mayor sighed in defeat. “Alright.” She placed herself back at her podium. “It has been decided. He will assist in the reconstruction of our town, starting tomorrow. I want each and every one of you to treat him as you would treat any other pony. If he wishes to take part in our community, then he has the right to earn his place.” She paused, processing for a moment. “No further questions for today. I’m sure you all have things to do. With that, I bring this town meeting to a close. Thank you all for your time.” Mare turned the microphone off and dismounted from the podium. Her, Ellis, and the four others re-entered the town hall to discuss the logistics of the human’s job placement.

+++++

Lyra bounced up and down, trying to see past the sea of equines to catch a glimpse of the speaker. Her close friend, Bon Bon, was not amused.

“Lyra! Cut that out!”

She kept hopping, heedless of her words. “But I can’t see him! I wanna see him!” Bon Bon had never seen her so worked up in all her life. She was very near resorting to plowing through the crowd to see this “Ellis” guy they were talking about. If only she had been outside earlier! She heard from a couple other ponies who decided to come out at the time that a tall... thing that ran on two legs was being chased by Rarity. Why she was chasing him, Lyra didn’t care. What she did take interest in is Ellis. Two legs? They mentioned that he was at least twice as tall as any pony in Ponyville. Such a thing was what Lyra had been searching for since...

“LYRA!” Bon Bon abruptly silenced her thoughts. “They ended the meeting! It’s over!”

“What?!” She sank to the ground in disappointment as the crowd returned to their idle conversations and began to disperse. “But... but... I didn’t get to see him...”

“You’ll probably get to see him tomor-” But she was cut off by the wild-eyed green unicorn suddenly invading her personal space.

“You don’t understand! This is really important!” Up close, she could see the beads of sweat clumping her coat together and red veins snaking around her irises.

Bon Bon assertively pushed her away. “What’s gotten into you?”

She only returned a blank stare as her mind caught up with the rest of her. “Uh... I just...”

She didn’t have any time to wait for her answer. “Nevermind...” She clopped off towards the market. “Come on, we still have some shopping to do.”

Lyra took one last glance at the town hall door, trying to imagine the shape of the human behind it before tagging behind her friend with silent determination.

”This isn’t over...”

+++++

Celestia’s orange sun hung just over the mountains behind them, casting the long shadows of Ellis and Applejack in front of them as they walked along the trail they took earlier in the afternoon. This time, Applejack had strongly insisted that she told the stories that time. Ellis didn’t object; he loved to hear stories as much as he loved to tell them, and her stories were pretty exciting. They didn’t involve a choice person being maimed and somehow living, but intriguing nonetheless. It passed the time for both of them as they strolled back to the farm.

“...an’ then Gilda screeched and took off, just like that!”

Ellis shook his head. “Ah tell ya, she ain’t no good to nobody. Ah used to know a guy like that, once...” He trailed off. “Hey, what’s she doing now these days?”

“We haven’t seen her since that day.” She brought up a memory with dread. “In fact, the last pony who saw her was Dominic. That was a few weeks ago. No pony nor gryphon has seen her since. She just...” Applejack hesitated. “...went missing...”

“Ya think she died somehow?”

She didn’t like Gilda, but she hated the thought of death even more. “Ah... don’t wanna think ‘bout that too much.”

“Well, then,” He decided it was as good a time as ever to change the subject. “What about this ‘Dominic’ guy ya talked about?”

“He’s a pony who lives mostly on his own, working on making potions and stuff. He’s kinda old, too, an’ not very easygoing, but deep down, he’s a kind soul. All he needs is some good company once every while.” And a bath, she silently added.

“He makes potions? What kinda potions?”

“...weird ones...” She cringed as she remembered those embarrassing “episodes” not too long ago.

The tall, red barn of Sweet Apple Acres came into view, with the Apple homestead right near it. The pair continued to talk as they converged upon the front door of the house, where Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom were waiting on the front porch. The little filly galloped to meet them both halfway.

“Ohmahgosh, Applejack! What happened in Ponyville? You look terrible!”

The elder sister realized that she did, in fact, feel terrible as well. Bags hung under her slightly pinkish eyes. Her hair was ruffled and messy from chasing Rarity and Ellis for a good quarter-hour. Combined with all the stress of the day, Applejack felt like she could sleep like a rock for a day straight.

“Nothin’ too bad, sis. It’s just been hectic is all.”

Her brother came trotting up. “Ah hope y’all got that sorted out. Ah missed ya here on the farm.”

“Sorry ‘bout that, Big Mac. And yes, we got it sorted out fine. Ellis here is going to work with construction in Ponyville.”

“May as well do mah part since ahm here.” Ellis added.

“He’s working in the town?” Mac itched his mane. “Ah thought for sure he’d be helping us on th’ farm.”

“NO!” Applejack shouted without thinking. “I mean... no. We decided that he’d be better use over there. No offense, sugarcube, but you ain’t made fer applebuckin’.”

“None taken. Ah couldn’t possibly buck apples half as good as you.” He snorted.

“Don’t start that again...”

+++++

Granny Smith took Ellis’s appearance well, considering she didn’t have a heart attack. The ancient matriarch merely rocked back in her chair and took it like meeting any other pony.

“Mah! Yer a tall one! Who’s this ya brought here, darling?”

“Uh... his name’s Ellis.”

But the next thing anypony knew, Granny was snoring loudly in her rocking chair, indisposed for the next few hours or so.

“Ah guess ahm making supper tonight...”

Ellis, Apple Bloom, and Big Mac all sat at the table, waiting patiently for Applejack to serve the food. Round, white places with apple patterned trim sat in front of them on a clean tablecloth. After a few minutes of Apple Bloom questioning Ellis on everything from here to there, her older sister entered the room balancing a large steaming bowl on her back.

“Food’s on, everypony!” She set it on the table and used a wooden spoon to dish up the hearty smelling substance onto their dishes. Apple Bloom bounced excitedly in her seat while Big Macintosh remained stoically as ever. Ellis had both his elbows resting on the table, his hands clenched together. His forehead rested on his knuckles as he appeared to be muttering something under his breath, eyes closed. Applejack could have asked him what he was doing, but instead she passed it off as one of his weird quirks, like the strange words he’d sometimes say with a little extra emphasis. She shoveled the spoon into the bowl and brought it to the human’s plate. Ellis wrinkled his nostrils.

“What is this?” To Ellis, it looked like the crud he used to get at his elementary school. Grey, pasty, mixed with lumps of what looked like raw oats and... grass? It emitted a strange earthy stench. After a day of eating nothing but fruit and cupcakes, he was really hoping for some meat.

“That there’s mah own hay casserole!” She responded with pride.

“Yeah!” Apple Bloom nodded as she bit into the top of her pile. “Iss mah favorite!”

“No talking with yer mouth full, Apple Bloom!”

Ellis couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Hay casserole? That sound like some kinda horse... feed...”

The Apple family gave him quizzical looks as he slapped his palm to his head, the stupidly obvious truth finally dawning on him. These are horses!

They don’t eat meat.

“We might have a slight problem here...”

He's A Workin' Man

A warm, arid breeze blanketed the scenery. The sea of tans and greens rippled and waved like water. A earthly, homely scent wafted to the zebra’s slowly dilating nostrils. She had her eyes closed, but she could imagine the sparse trees dot the landscape of the plains of her homeland. The wind also carried sounds; the sounds of the elephants, mingling loudly as they refreshed themselves at a watering hole. The cacophony of wildebeest thumping in the distance in the form of a large herd. She could taste the adrenaline of the cheetah, the fastest runner alive, locked in the age-old battle of predator and prey. She breathed in slowly, then exhaled slowly, maintaining her inner peace as she sat stagnantly on a wide, flat rock. The sun warmed her coat as the breeze cooled it. This was a moment of absolute serenity.

Her ear twitched. Something was moving in the grass. She could feel it. The disturbance was like a rock shattering the smooth surface of a glassy pond. It reverberated up her spine, a spike of annoyance hitting her brain. No... she must keep her tranquility. Nothing was there. No moving creature, large or small, was supposed to be near her. The elephants, the wildebeests, the cheetah and his prey, they were all leagues away. She was alone. It was only her mind playing tricks; the part of her that does not wish to be calm. She would exert herself to keep her balance. Her concentration increased. The distraction would remove itself in time.

But it did not. The tan stalks twitched again, agitating the air around it, dispatching yet another ripple of disturbance toward her. Her heart started to beat a little faster. Something was indeed wrong... this was no mere illusion. No, nothing is there! But is has to be something. It is not receding. It will go away in time, just like any other distraction! All it takes is patience! You are too confident of yourself. What if it does not mean well to your being? What if it wants your blood...? You will not break my peace!

She fought to keep herself placid, her mind straining like a taunt string. It is only a trick... only a trick... The rustling became more intense. She thought she could smell the putrid breath of a meat-eater. A predator. NO! IT IS ONLY A RUSE! She gritted her teeth, on the very ledge of disruption. You’re in danger... you must react... you must flee... before it is too late...

She could feel the beast slowly licking its lips and tensing its muscles, prepared to pounce on the zebra... the ignorant, oblivious zebra that was too self-confident to prevent her own death. There’s nothing there... there’s nothing there... there’s nothing there... She was wobbling now, her balance way out of sync. It was only a matter of time... Finally, she could bear it no longer. She broke her meditation, turning towards the disturbance. Her eyes widened. She tried to release a shriek. There was a flash of pointy, ivory teeth, outstretched claws, blood-red eyes-

Zecora fell off of her balancing staff and onto the wooden floor of her dank hut with a yelp. She cursed in Zebraani while massaging the flank she landed on. A burst of wooziness engulfed her as the blood rushed out of her head and recirculated throughout the rest of her body. When she regained her focus, she could see her familiar wood carvings and fetishes that hung on her walls. She could smell the ever-present humidity of Everfree Forest, the sound of buzzing insects and the smell of her bubbling pot. Zecora sighed inwardly.

Her meditation was broken, and she could not attempt it again for at least a few more hours, not while she was shaken from the interruption. She picked herself up and rested her staff against the nearby wall before checking the cauldron. The viscous grass-colored liquid boiled over a crackling fire. She tossed a few crushed herbs into the mixture, making it gurgle and emit a sappy-minty smell. Zecora was just about to add another reagent when her head perked up.

The sensation of dread pierced her once again. The feeling of another heavy presence. It bored into her back like a biting parasite. The zebra cleared her mind and filtered out the familiar background noises. Gone was the chirping of insects, the bubbling of the pot, the cawing of the birds.

All that remain was her own breathing.

And another sound of breathing...

Deep... Throaty... Angry...

Unnatural fear penetrated into Zecora’s bones. She began to tremble, her chest thumped loudly. Slowly and carefully she walked to her rudimentary wooden door. The door creaked open and she stepped out into the perpetually dim forest clearing. Barely any light penetrated the thick canopy of Everfree Forest. It was only dark and darker, depending on the time of the day. Zecora scanned the treeline around her, looking for the shapes of the creatures that populated the forest. She was no fool, nor was she a weakling. Her decision to live in Everfree and pursue peace and enlightenment was not a impulsive or unprepared one. Zecora was a skilled fighter, taught by her tribe back in her native homeland, Zebraan. When she first came here, she was immediately attacked by timber wolves. After a quick and intense brawl, they fled back into the sanctity of the thick trees, but they have returned before, and she has defended herself more than once.

But this did not sound like a timber wolf. They snarled and howled, but they did not have this caliber of deep breathing that would belong to a much larger creature. It couldn’t be a manticore... they do not wander far into this part of the forest. She turn and followed the sound. Terror seized her limbs, disallowing her to go any faster than a crawl. Her eyes dilated, searching the darkness for any movement. She found it.

Zecora could not describe it. Idling right there on the edge of the clearing was a massive shape, heaving with each deep, gargled breath. Pock marks dotted its swollen body. It reeked of blood and vomit. The zebra froze, attempting to collect her panicking thoughts. Trying hard not to pant, she slowly, and ever so carefully stepped back-

*SNAP*

The thing reared its head towards Zecora, a dry twig in two parts under her hoof. It stared into the mortified zebra’s eyes. Its face was something that Zecora would never forget for the rest of her life. Even years from that moment, she would sometimes wake up in a cold sweat, shrieking, that demented image burned into her corneas.

Horror. Torment. Rage. Death. It was all these things, twisted into and unholy, nightmarish visage that was so absolutely and utterly wrong. It was missing its jaw, useless pale flesh and tendons hung limply alongside of its lolling tongue, flapping with each massive exhale. Its skin had thinned and receded, defining the edges of its cheekbones and darkened eye sockets. Its hair was patchy and sparse, crusty black scabs covered the areas of baldness where the strands and scalp had been ripped out in a fit of feverish mindlessness. The eyes... those terrible, monstrous eyes. They were stained yellow where it should have been white. The pupils were contracted to mere pinheads, red veins bulging and throbbing around them. They were devoid of all thought, all empathy, all sentience. Zecora did not know what it was, but she could tell that it had once been something else.

But it had been warped into a hideous monster.

“Tewha’lia...”

The beast roared, spewing rancid breath in Zecora’s direction. With one glancing swing of its arm, it shattered a nearby hollowed, rotting tree trunk as if it was only a stack of crusted sand. Fine, dusty splinters billowed out like a fog. It slammed its other fist into the ground, making the zebra vibrate in place. It roared again, its face completely motionless and unfeeling, like a mask of pestilence and decay over the essence of seething hatred. It dug its meaty fingers into the earth and launched forward in a charge towards its stricken prey.

Zecora screamed, unreserved, all rationality gone. Only terror and instinct remained. She stumbled and scrambled on her hooves, sprinting in the opposite direction. She ran. She ran until her muscles caterwauled in agony. She ran until she had no physical energy left in her body, yet she ran on.

The beast, like a single-minded predator, thundered after her through the forest.

+++++

Ellis felt something warm and wet brush across his face. He snorted awake to find a small dog panting smelly dog-breath into his face. Ellis remembered her name. It was Winona, Applejack’s loyal companion. He thought is strange that ponies would have pet dogs, but it was also strange that they could talk, fly, use magic... He concluded that he just shouldn’t question anything anymore. Ellis gently nudged the small canine of of his chest and rose out his cramped, pony-sized, not-quite-human-sized bed. He sat on the edge and rubbed the crust out of his eyes.

He checked the clock. 5:45. The earliest he had ever been up since he had a job. Ellis groaned, muscles aching from the stress of yesterday. Orange morning sunshine radiated brightly through the guest bedroom window. he got up and stretched, arms straining outwards, back arcing. His washed clothes, courtesy of Applejack, sat on the nightstand and he had taken a shower the night before. It was his first shower in what seemed like forever, not that he gave a damn about hygiene, but it felt good anyhow. When he was all clean, he hadn't bothered to put his clothes back on to sleep. He might have been embarrassed to be completely naked in front of Winona, but she was a dog, and dogs don’t really care for modesty. Even now, she thumped her tail on the floor like she would do even if Ellis had been fully clothed. After he thoroughly blinked off most of his drowsiness, he turned around.

And a wide-eyed Apple Bloom sat right there.

“GAH!” Ellis quickly yanked the bedsheets of and used them to cover himself. “Apple Bloom! Can’t ya give a guy some privacy?!”

“Wah? We don’t usually wear clothes.” The young filly tilted her head in dog-like confusion, completely oblivious to Ellis’s discomfort.

“Well ah do! It’s a human thing, ok?” Apple Bloom groaned. He had been using the term “human thing” for all of her questions he couldn’t answer, or refused to answer because “Ya ain’t old ‘nuff.” She honestly couldn’t understand what the big deal was with wearing clothes. She wore clothes once. It was uncomfortable and it chaffed against her coat. She refused to wear anything but her bow tie from that day on.

“Applejack sent me tah get you outta bed fer breakfast. Winona wanted to come ‘long, too.” She looked at her sister’s companion. “Ain’t that right, girl?”

The dog barked exuberantly, her tongue wagged from her mouth.

“Please, Apple Bloom, sweetheart.” Ellis implored, trying not to sound rude or forceful. “Ah need ya to just leave a bit so I can get dressed, ok?”

She couldn’t figure out why he doesn’t want to be seen naked, but she nodded an ok and headed for the door, coaxing Winona to come along with her. When she passed the door frame, she turned back and peeked inside to ask the human yet another question.

“Hey Ellis! Does it always dangle out like that?”

His face turned red hot. “Just shut the door, Bloom.”

+++++

Ellis, now fully clothed in his signature coveralls and “Bull Shifters” shirt, walked into he kitchen. The smell of cooked food filled his nostrils, which made his stomach growl. Applejack stood in front of the cooking range. Her mouth held a frying pan in a hot pad, jiggling it over the flames as its contents sizzled on the teflon coating. Her nose was wrinkled. She noticed the human walked in and set the thick cloth on the counter.

“Why the hay you humans eat this stuff plain I’ll never know. It’s smells like hog.”

“Different strokes for different folks, AJ.” He looked at the skillet. “Ah can probably take it from here.”

In the pan were two eggs, cooking on a layer of butter. Ellis took a spatula and flipped them over to the uncooked side. He liked his eggs fairly well done.

Explaining his food preference to the ponies wasn’t too difficult. The first thing he had to worry about was Applejack thinking that he was insulting her cooking. He explained, as delicately as he could (which isn’t saying much), that humans eat more than just fruits, veggies, and grains. He suspected that Big Macintosh was the first to get his meaning, him being the most mature of the family. Applejack had few problems with it. She knew that some animals that Fluttershy took care of, like bears and eagles, ate other animals too. Apple Bloom really couldn’t understand the concept of eating other living things, but Ellis iterated that he didn’t necessarily need to do so.

”See, this one time, mah buddy Keith dared me to be a vegan fer a month.”

“What’s a vee-gen?” Apple Bloom had asked.

“It’s a human that doesn’t eat meat or anything that comes from animals. Lucky fer me, ah knew a chick who did the same thing, so she gave me pointers on what to eat to get mah proteins an’ shit. It was kinda hard, but ah got through it alright. Then, since ah did that, ah dared Keith back to ride a shopping cart down Salem Hill. That didn’t end well, ho boy...”

But Ellis didn’t have to go full vegan. The ponies used animal products like eggs and cow milk, the former almost exclusively for baking. It was fine for them to eat, even though they don’t get any useful nutrients out of them. So that made eggs one source of amino acids for him. After more than a month of an urban survivalist diet, he wasn’t complaining. So, last night, he showed Applejack how to make fried eggs and ate that instead. Apple Bloom got his uneaten casserole.

In essence, the whole problem blew over without much trouble at all. Ellis worried that they might have been scared or shunned him for his natural eating habits or some other irrational, overly-dramatic reaction that would have conflicted with the flow and pacing of this fanfiction as well as the the over-arcing, long term character development. Deal with it.

Ellis turned off the burner and scooped the two eggs onto a piece of toast, added some cheese, and completed it with another piece of toast. A simple egg sandwich, one of his favorite breakfasts. The wooden legs of the chair groaned as he sat down and pulled himself closer to the table. Applejack sat across from him, chewing on a bowl of honey oats as he bit into his food and chewed noisily. The herbivore grimaced.

“So, Ellis.” She tried to take her mind off the disgusting salty-slimy smell of his food. “Ah heard Apple Bloom caught ya naked this mornin’.”

He coughed softly before swallowing the bite. “Yeah. It’s probably best if that doesn’t happen no more.” He continued, knowing that the pony would inevitable ask him. “We humans have been wearin’ clothes so much that we really can’t be seen without ‘em. Ah wish ah could tell a why, but ah really don’t know mahself.”

Applejack nodded, reaching a rudimentary understanding. “Well ah was washin’ them last night an’ ah found a few things in yer pockets.” She pointed to the wooden bowl where the contents of Ellis’s clothing were placed. Taking a closer look, he saw that his lighter was among them. Ellis didn’t smoke, but he used it to light pipe bombs and molotovs. Next to that was his wallet, an unfired shotgun round, and an adrenaline shot.

“So what are these things fer, anyway?” Applejack queried.

He started with the lighter, flicking open the metal lid and sparking a small flame to life. “This here’s a lighter. It makes a flame-”

“Ah know what a lighter is.” Applejack interrupted. “And ah know that’s a wallet, too. But what about those two things?”

“Oh. Uh...” He gestured to the shot. It was about a hand-length; orange and with a white cap. A label with fine lettering printed the side. “This is an adrenaline shot. Ya take off the cap and use a needle to inject yourself with some kinda chemical that gives ya a burst a’ energy. S’it’s handy for when ya need to get away fast.”

“From the zombies.” Applejack silently finished. She still had a hard time fully accepting his story, but she didn’t think about it too much.

“And this,” He held up the heavy plastic cylinder. It had a brass cap on one end and it was pinched off at the other. The pony couldn’t discern any possible purpose for it. “This is a shotgun shot. Ammunition.”

“Ammunition... ammunition... where have ah heard that before?” She tried to bring up the information from her farthest memory banks, but she just couldn’t nudge it loose.

But she didn’t have to ask for Ellis continued. “Ya know... it’s fer a gun.” She shook her head. The human sighed. “Ok, ya put this sucker in a metal barrel and hit this,” He pointed to a tiny rounded spot in the center of the brass cap. “With the firing pin. That ignites the powder and propels the buckshot outta the barrel.”

Applejack scratched her head. “What the hay does that accomplish?”

“It’s fer killin’.” He stated matter-of-factly.

The earth pony suddenly remembered where she had heard ammunition before. Cannons! Pipsqueak had talked about them on Nightmare Night! He told Applejack about swashbuckling pirates who would get into sea-based battles with cannons, which were used to sink or disable other ships. He said he knew just about everything about pirates, including their weaponry and how cannons needed ammunition to fire! What Ellis must have been talking about was a cannon on a smaller scale, one that could be held in his hands.

“But, since ah don’t have a gun, this thing is just another paper-weight that ya gotta keep away from open flame. Ah don’t really remember why ah pocketed this thing in the first place, to be honest.” He looked at Applejack. “Do ah have to let you confiscate this too?”

“I’m not lookin’ tah take away all yer stuff, Ellis. If it’s harmless as ya say it is, then you can keep it.”

“Well, ok.” He pocketed the shot, adrenaline, and lighter. He hesitated before stowing his wallet away. Considering that this world had an entirely different currency, his paper was useless here.

“Ah don’t think ah need this anymore.” He tossed the black leather tri-fold in Applejack’s direction. “You can give it tah Apple Bloom fer her to look at.”

She smiled. “That’s awful nice of ya, Ellis.”

He finished the last bite of his breakfast. “Just don’t let her wake me up anymore.”

+++++

The walk to Ponyville was a surprisingly quiet one. To Applejack’s relief, Ellis couldn’t recall any more new interesting stories to tell. Instead, they answered more questions about each other until they reached Twilight’s library where she was to show the human to his workplace. Applejack didn’t necessarily need to walk Ellis to Ponyville, but Granny Smith’s old gardening tools needed to be reforged, and Wrought Iron was the closest smith that could do it. She didn’t mind being in Ellis’s for a little while longer. His charm was starting to grow on her.

They reached the Library where Twilight and Spike were waiting outside the front door. The latter rested on the porch, his stubby legs dangling over the cobbled street. The lavender unicorn saw the two and waved them over to her.

“Hey Ellis! You ready for work?”

“Twi, ah was born ready.” He responded confidently.

“Good to hear. Come with me, you’re working with the west district first.” She lead the human and her assistant to the direction of the scaffolding.

“I’ll leave y’all to it an’ come tah get ya when the day’s done.” Applejack called after, turning to part ways and leave them to their work. Ellis and Twilight waved goodbye as they shrank into the distance.

The earth pony finally broke her line of sight and turned to trod off to the smithy. She got that strange sense of disorientation like the last time she left his side. A melancholy feeling of emptiness as his explicit presence was suddenly muted, and all that remained was the deafening familiarity of Ponyville; the Ponyville that was always present day after day after day. The denizens would go about their tried-and-true routines. They would craft their goods and work their services. They would go to the market to buy and trade and barter. They would smile and say hi as others passed by with their business, but then they would be back to work. Nopony would be there to tell her a joke or a story, to listen to what she had to say when she wanted to be heard. Nopony would be there to laugh and smile with her while she worked. It was just business.

Applejack reprimanded herself for such careless thinking. She had a loving family and five of the best friends anypony could ask for. She loved her work and welcomed the humble familiarity of the everyday. For Celestia’s sake, she only just met Ellis yesterday!

So why did she feel so alone?

+++++

Ellis, Twilight, and her assistant strolled along the streets of the town. The human’s presence caught a lot of attention from the ponyfolk. They all waved and pointed like he was a celebrity. A group of rambunctious foals giggled and played at his feet, which Twilight had to solve by gently levitating them away so they wouldn’t accidentally get hurt by Ellis’s heavy stride, who was preoccupied with waving back at all the onlookers.

Finally, they came upon a building that appeared to have had its roof torn off or smashed in by some incredible force.

“Hey, Twilight.” Ellis began. “What exactly caused this damage here?”

“Uh... an accident.” She replied, keeping the real reason vague for Spike’s sake. The baby dragon looked down at the ground and kicked at the dirt, shame burned into his face.

“Accident mah ass! This looks like the work of some giant monster!”

“Well...” Twilight attempted to think of an evasion, but Ellis continued.

“It’s a giant monster attack if ah ever seen one. Lemme tell ya, in mah opinion, them giant monsters got no heart ‘er soul tah speak of. Stompin’ around like they own the place, smashin’ the good, honest work of good, honest people, leaving them broken an’ homeless just ‘cause they can. It’s just plain evil, man.”

Spike was trembling and looked as though he was on the verge of weeping.

“Ellis, it’s not important!” Twilight interrupted. “We’re here to meet your co-workers, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right...”

They circled around to the other side of the building where two hardhat wearing ponies have already begun work early. One was a unicorn with an ochre coat and a sandy, shaggy mane. His red-orange aura of magic surrounded a handsaw that reciprocated and ate away at a wood two-by-four as he held it in place with his hooves. On his flank was an icon of two crossed saws. The other one was an ashen pegasus with a short, ebony mane. He was studying two blueprints on a collapsible table, wings folded. His cutie mark was a hammer and nail. The wooden plank the former was cutting fell to the ground, cleanly cut, with a hollow clatter. It was only then when he noticed the tall newcomer followed by the town’s librarian. He rested his saw on the bench and walked over to greet them.

“Hey.” He hailed in a smooth, carefree tone. His red-orange eyes, the same color of his magic, naturally, were set in a calm demeanor. This was a pony who obviously had little to worry about, living a peaceful, fret-free lifestyle.

“Hello.” Twilight politely returned.

“I heard we were gettin’ the new dude here.” He glanced up at Ellis, not surprised by his appearance. He was at yesterday’s town meeting like everypony else. He held out his hoof. “Name’s Sawdust.”

The human took the gesture into his hand. “Ellis. Nice tah meet y’all.”

Sawdust nodded to his winged companion, who was still engrossed in the blueprints.

“That’s Ball-Peen. He’s kinda 'in the zone' right now.” The construction colt turned around and sucked in a big breath of air. “HEY! PEEN!”

“Wha-?!” Ball-Peen looked as if he’s just been splashed with cold water. Startled, he involuntarily flapped his wings, causing the blueprints to fly off the table. He sighed.

“What is it, SD?”

“We got the new guy here, man!”

“Oh.” He flew over to meet Ellis at head height and shook his hand. “Ball-Peen.”

“Nice tah meet ya.” He replied.

“The boss ain’t here right now,” Sawdust explained. “Were just doing the warm-up work here. You made it here early, dude, that’s good. Boss gets pretty cranky when we get here late. Don’t worry about it too much.”

Twilight cleared her throat. “Ok, then. I see that everything is in order. I’m sure you can take things from here.”

He nodded slowly. “Sure deal, miss. Me and Peen’ll get him up to speed on everything.”

“Well then,” He turned to Ellis. “Mayor Mare wants me to check up on you sometime during the day, so I’ll be back around lunch. Good luck!”

“Thanks Twilight.” He waved her and her tiny assistant off as they headed back to the library.

Ball-Peen hovered up to Ellis with a hardhat. “Safety first, man.”

He took the helmet and adjusted it to his cranium. It was a tight fit, considering it would usually fit on the smaller head of a pony, but it wasn’t glaringly uncomfortable.

“Ready to get going, bro?” Sawdust inquired.

“Ready Freddy.”

+++++

Twilight completed yet another lap around the library, her hair beginning to frizz as a sign of her frustration. Spike followed her with his eyes as she continued to fret. They both just returned to the library, and the lavender unicorn was already back to her routine worry-warting. The draconic assistant sighed.

“Princess Celestia hasn’t written back to me! She usually answers my letters immediately! What could have gone wrong?!” She said with a not-quite-so-indoor voice. Spike massaged his sensitive ears.

“You’re worrying over nothing, Twi. I’m sure she’s- MMBBFFF!” His scaly purple cheeks puffed outwards before ejecting a green gout of flame with a belch. It spun into a tight sphere before materializing into a slightly luminescent scroll of parchment. Twilight sighed in relief.

“Ok. What the heck is up with that timing?” Spike despairingly asked nopony in particular. “This can’t be a coincidence!”

The letter was levitated in front of the unicorn’s face as she broke the seal and unfurled the paper. Inside was quill-scribed lettering, obviously, but it was penmanship that she did not recognize. Her eyes scanned the lines of the letter.

Dearest Twilight Sparkle,

We despair that Oure sister is indisposed in Fillydelphia at the moment on business of the highest importance from which she cannot take leave, temporary or otherwise. Thy letter hath been forwarded from Dearest, which became known to Us but few short moments ago. Oure sincerest apologies for lack of haste; yon events are quite intriguing indeed. We can only offer but a word of acknowledgement; royal duties hath left Us with little time to spare. Oure sister hath utmost faith in the abilities of thee, as do We.

Royal Princess of the Night,

Luna

Twilight sighed. Princess Celestia just happens to be gone when something extraordinary chances.

“What’s it say?” Spike raised himself on his toes to get a better glimpse of the letter.

“It’s Luna, Spike. Princess Celestia is busy in Fillydelphia, and she apparently won’t be back for a while.” She carefully re-rolled the parchment and archived it in her desk.

“So... what do we do now?”

“We stick to the mayor’s plan, simple as that.” Twilight reassured. “There’s nothing complex about this whole situation. We just need to watch Ellis and keep him from doing anything incredibly stupid.”

+++++

“Check out the hot flank on that one, Ellis.”

“Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, Saw. Go fer it.”

Sawdust inhaled a breath and cupped his hooves around his mouth. “YEAH, BABY, I’D LIKE A PIECE OF THAT!” Ellis accompanied his shout with a sharp whistle.

The passing mare blushed profusely before turning her head and trotting away in a huff. Ellis and Sawdust high-fived.

“I guess you aren’t so bad after all, dude.”

The human gave a hand-wave. “I’m a pretty likable guy, if ah do say so mahself.”

The two were currently working on trimming lumber to repair the beams on the roof. The construction pony had commented that Ellis had a knack for using a handsaw. The human had used one before. He told Sawdust that he worked a brief stint in a similar job before he became a mechanic. As the ochre unicorn would find, hands worked just as well as magic. They both would cut the planks, then Ball-Peen would fly them up to the roof where they would be hammered in. Their work was progressing nicely - faster than usual one might add - so Ellis and Sawdust would pass the time cat-calling to passing mares while the pegasus put nails in the roof.

“Say, Saw,” Ellis had asked. “Why do construction workers cat-call, anyway?”

The pony leaned back on the saw-horse. “Glad you asked, brah. You see, back in ye old times, construction was a job passed down from father to son. With that, came the masonic tradition of cat-calling. It was custom for the workers to commend mares for their beauty, and that turned into what we have today.”

“Wow, really?”

Sawdust snorted. “Nah, I just made that up.”

They both shared a bout of ruckus laughter.

The unicorn called out towards the unfinished roof where a rhythmic tapping could be heard. “Hey, Ball-Peen! Ya almost done up there?”

The tapping stopped for a moment as his achromatic co-worker poked his head into sight. “Almost!” He called back. His hammering resumed.

Sawdust nodded and nudged Ellis’s arm. “You’re doing good, man. Wish we had you with us sooner.”

“Just glad tah do mah part here.” He took off his hardhat and shook the perspiration out of his hair. “Kinda wish ah was workin’ on cars, but beggars can’t be choosers. This line a work ain’t so bad.”

The pony lazily nodded and gazed off into the distance, glazing over the town and its citizens for no particular reason. Suddenly, his eyes perked up.

“It’s the boss, man! Quick, act like you’re working!” He levitated a plank, tape measure, and carpenter's pencil and set to “measuring” the wood. Ellis stood over him and pointed to random places on the blueprints as if he was directing the cuts. An earth pony trotted over to the pair. He was as big as Big Macintosh, maybe bigger. His coat was a dark brown with a diamond-shaped patch of white above his nose. His graying mane was shaven within an inch of his scalp. His light-green eyes were narrow, and looked as if they’ve been that way all his life. On his flank was a cutie mark depicting three bricks and a pale of mortar.

“Morning, Boss.” Sawdust waved nonchalantly. The boss only scowled as he looked at Ellis.

“All three of you! Front and center!” He boomed with a well-exercised shouting voice. Ellis and Sawdust zipped into place in front of the boss, their bodies stiff as boards. Ball-Peen took a little longer to get into place. As Ellis has insofar observed, it took the pegasus a little longer to do everything. The hardhatted trio stood in a line as they came under the scrutinizing gaze of the boss. He slowly paced back and fourth, his eyes scanning for even the tiniest mistake. Suddenly, he whipped around and glared at Sawdust. Like anypony would, he flinched a little, but his expression remained unchanged. There was a pause as the boss continued to stare, then he spoke.

“Have you been working hard? Showing the new guy the way we do things around here?!” His voice was slightly hoarse.

“Yes, Big Boss, Sir!” Sawdust replied.

“And has he been working hard too?”

“Yes, Big Boss, Sir!”

He turned to Ball-Peen. “Can you vouch the same, slow-mo?”

“Uh... S-Sir yes, Big Boss, Sir!” He stammered.

Finally, Big Boss turned to Ellis, his neck craning up to get a look at his mug. “And you! What’s your name, huh?”

“Ellis-”

“THAT’S SIR TO YOU!”

“It’s Ellis, Sir!” He tried to stiffen himself as straight as he could.

“Listen here, Ellis, I don’t care if you’re some kinda space-alien superhero king of the galaxy! Here, you will show respect to me! Here, you will work hard and earn your own keep! Pony or not, you follow my rules! You won’t get any special treatment from me! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!?!”

“Sir! Yes, Sir!” He shouted back, sweating.

Big Boss took a moment to gauge the progress of the roof. Whether it satisfied him or not, Ellis couldn’t tell. He still kept that scowl that never seemed to leave his face.

“I expect this roof to be done by the end of today! The world won’t wait for you to get your flanks in gear! We still got five more roofs and seven more wall sections to repair by the end of this month!”

He paused to catch his breath and looked over the three one last time.

“Now, carry on!” With that, he walked off to his office trailer and slammed the screen door.

Sawdust and Ball-Peen both exhaled a sigh of relief. Ellis did likewise, resting his hands on his knees. He’s never been through basic, but he was pretty damned sure that’s what it would be like.

“Is he always such a hard-ass?”

The ochre unicorn shook his head. “Naw, this is just a bad day for him. He just got contracted with more work since another repair team bailed. Paperwork makes him like that. He’s usually a pretty easy guy, as far as that goes.”

“Damn...”

“Don’t worry, man. Me and Peen have been working with him for a long time. We know his routine, so we’ll give ya heads up when he comes around.”

Ball-Peen flew off to return to his work on the roof while Ellis and Sawdust trimmed more lumber and whistled at more passing mares.

+++++

Fluttershy rapped her hoof on the door again for what seemed like the hundredth time today. Next to her stood Rarity, who tried to call inside once again.

“Pinkie Pie! Stop being so dreadfully difficult and come out!”

Pinkie called out from inside her room. “Go away! Big scary knife monster is out there!”

Rarity sighed. “Pinkie! He’s not a monster, and the knife is hidden now! There’s absolutely no reason for you to be afraid, other than his awful attire.”

A pause. “No!”

“Um... Pinkie?” Fluttershy tried. “Ellis is really nice, and I’m sure he wants to meet you.”

“The only thing he’s gonna meet is his FACE with some CAKE if he ever gets near me!”

Fluttershy flinched. That was really harsh coming from Pinkie.

“There’s no need to get violent, dear.” Rarity spoke. “Please, you’re acting irrational! What has he ever done to you?”

“It’s not what he did but WHAT HE’S GOING TO DO!” Came another angry cry from the room.

Fluttershy facehoofed. Ironic, really, the uber-phobic pegasus trying to help her friend, who happened to be the least scared of anything, get over some silly irrational fear. Now she knew how her friends feel about her. Was she really ever that difficult?

+++++

Pinkie Pie cowered under her bedsheets, slowly munching on her secret stash of Nightmare Night candy that the Cakes told her not to keep in her room. She kept them anyway.

She knew that Ellis was no good. She knew it in her gut. A new Pinkie sense combo came up after she locked herself in her room. She didn’t recognize it; it was completely new, but she could tell it meant trouble. The kind of trouble that is really, really bad, and she was certain Ellis had something to do with it.

Hoof-tapping.

Frizzy mane.

Going wall-eyed for exactly 4.5 seconds. One and two and three and four and...

Then, a mid-air barrel roll. Suddenly angry at rabbits and pressing z-buttons.

She had an excellent sense of smell; one of the reasons why she was so good at cooking. As she discovered during her time in Ponyville, everypony had their own unique smell, a scent that usually came from their professions or homes. Twilight smelled like dust and old books. Applejack resonated the scent of, you guessed it, apples. Rainbow Dash: rain clouds. Rarity smelled like glue. No offense to her, but tailor’s glue stinks. Fluttershy either smells like flowers or animal. It varied day by day. And Dominic... Pinkie really didn’t even want to breath around him. Anypony could sniff him from a mile away.

Ellis... To Pinks, he reeked of blood.

+++++

The next few hours of Ellis’s job passed without a hitch. He and Sawdust sawed more planks and Ball-Peen brought them up and nailed them into place. They were making good progress and predicted that they would have the beams and plywood covering done by lunch. After that, they would re-shingle the roof and the interior work would be passed off to another team of pegasi. The team slackened their pace a bit to relax, only going back when Big Boss came around. Ellis realized that Sawdust was right; he didn’t think any other living creature could be more routine than the boss. Incredibly predictable, right down to a few seconds. He would go out to buy coffee at a nearby stand at exactly 10:10, have a conversation with the coffee pony for seven minutes, and be back by 10:22. Then, he would shut himself in the office trailer until 13 minutes before lunch.

Ball-Peen goofed up with a few planks again, so he had to go and work on his own for a while. The saw team trimmed the last of the beams and waited for Peen to yank out some nails and replace them. They were still on track, though, the pegasus botching up was nearly commonplace. He would let his mind wander off, miss a nail, and frantically work to rectify his mistake. Sawdust didn’t mind, neither did the boss, as long as he didn’t know too much. Ball-Peen was still an excellent worker.

Sawdust excused himself due to “the call of nature” and cantered off to the portable restroom. Ellis leaned back on the side of the house and watched the ponies pass by. Some of them waved, and the human waved back. He was getting used to the attention.

A figure appeared in the sky. Ellis shaded his eyes from the sun and squinted into the distance. He saw a speck of cyan followed by a stream of technicolor streaking. It seem to get progressively larger as it came closer to the construction site. Ellis remembered that it was the pegasus from yesterday.

Rainbow Dash decelerated to a listing speed and tentatively hovered to the human’s side. She didn’t want to have to confront him after what happened yesterday, but it was all she could think of to get another glimpse of those hands. Yes, her urges were still eating at her from the inside. She barely slept at all last night, her fantasies running a tight, frantic race around her mind. It made her cheeks burn with guilt. Her heart throbbed noisily in her chest as she got closer to him.

The cyan pegasus rubbed her hooves together as she tried to force a word of greeting from her mouth.

“Uh... hey...”

“Hey.” Ellis replied with a wave.

He certainly wasn’t making this any easier for RD. “Uh... I just wanted to... to...” Look at his face, not his hands. “To... uh... say that I’m sorry for... yesterday...”

Ellis couldn’t recall a reason why Dash would be sorry for yesterday. “Think nothin’ of it, man.”

Rainbow felt the tension melt off of her back. At least he was fine with it, soon she could forget about this whole thing. He resumed watching the streets, not paying any attention to the awkward flier. She couldn’t see the harm in merely observing for the moment, so her eyes trailed back to his flexible appendages-

“Hey, uh, Dash, is it?” He asked suddenly.

She broke from her trance. “Yeah, Rainbow Dash.”

The human pointed to a mare off across the street. It was Carrot Top, if she remembered correctly. Her distinctive carrot cutie mark sat on the side of her yellow flank. Her voluminous orange mane curled over her neck. She was currently conversing with another pony running a flower kiosk, her lips moving soundlessly from the distance as she gestured with her hoof to the brightly colored plants. Why would Ellis be pointing at her?

“On a scale of one tah ten, how much of a hottie is she?”

RD was dumbstruck for a moment. The question took her completely off guard.

“What?!”

“I mean, ah wouldn’t really know, being a human an’ all. I just wanna know so ah can get a good frame of reference for a game me an’ Sawdust are playin’.”

She still couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Dude... what?” She repeated.

“C’mon, man, just a number’s all I’m lookin’ fer. One being ‘hell no’ an’ ten being ‘hot damn!’”

“How am I supposed to know that?!”

“Man, all guys should have a rudimentary hotness scale. Just gimme an approximation. Don’t be shy.”

Rainbow Dash’s face could not convey any visualization closer to the image of complete and utter stupefaction than the expression she wore at that very moment.

“You thought I was a guy?!”

Ellis looked at her. She was fuming, but he still raised an eyebrow.

“Yer not?”

“I’M A GIRL!!!”

He looked visibly stricken, nearly stumbling backwards to catch himself. “Woah, shit!” He shook his head. “That just shatters mah entire reality... Ah really had no idea, ya act so much like a guy...”

He glanced back at her. He ignored the red veins of pure fury bulging from her neck. He didn’t notice what looked like hot steam piping out of her nostrils. The fact that she was grinding her teeth together in barely restrained blood-curdling rage did not even occur to him.

Instead, he made vague circling motions with his hands - when he retold this story he would claim that he didn’t exactly make them to mean anything - and said:

“You wouldn’t happen to be one a’ them girls that... ya know... swing the other way?”

+++++

“HEEEAAAAAAALLLLLPPPP!!!!”

The denizens of Ponyville once again opened their doors and window shutters to see a bipedal creature hollering at the top of his lungs, running faster than anypony could have guessed. Behind him trailed a red-faced pegasus, rainbows streaked behind her as she chased the human at impossible speeds. Some ponies were scared, some were confused, some sighed because they knew the mental ward would be stuffed with even more loonies.

“GET BACK HERE SO I CAN BEAT ON YOUR SKULL ‘TILL I HIT TONSILS!!!”

“Ahm sorry, man- I mean- girl! Don’t go an’ kill me!”

Real freakin’ smooth, Ellis.

It's A Good Workout

“Get... the hell... away FROM ME!” The mechanic shouted between the impacts of his shoe connecting with the face of some guy he had never met before in his life, but was frothing at the mouth an squealing like he was possessed by the devil himself trying to bit a chunk off of his leg. The guy stank of blood and puke. His skin was pale. His eyes were void.

And he had just attacked Ellis with no reason or provocation.

With one final powerful kick, the guy flew backwards. Seeing that he was sufficiently stunned, Ellis rolled over and scrambled to his feet, running fast down the sidewalk. That guy wasn’t the only one acting up; there were others, too. They all made incoherent babbling sounds as they furiously chased after him. Some of them, Ellis knew personally.

”What the hell is going on?!”

He raced through the streets, heading towards the one place that contained the one person he could always count on. The apartment building wasn’t far, just a few blocks from his house, where he left to start out his day when everybody freakin’ attacked him! Ellis nearly tore the front doorknob off as he darted inside, a group of madmen still on his tail. He scrambled up the stairs on all fours to the fourth level. There, he found the apartment door he was looking for. The pursuers were still trying to mindlessly stumble up the second and third flight. It wouldn’t be long until they caught up with him. Quickly, he ran up to the door and knocked furiously, warily glancing at his converging attackers.

“Keith! Open up! It’s me, Ellis! Some crazies are trying tah kill me here! Please!”

The first attacker arrived on Ellis’s level. He looked like a slightly overweight office junkie, vomit-colored spittle dripping from his gaping maw. He looked at the mechanic with empty eyes. God, they pierced his very soul. The man charged at him without hesitation, squealing insanely. Ellis attempted to defend himself by feebly raising his arms when the apartment door opened. Eyes still locked on the man running after him, he dashed into the small, tobacco-smelling room.

The man’s face and arm got caught in the doorway as Ellis attempted to shut it. He yelped in pain amid his animalistic growling, waving his limb and clawing at the air in desperation.

There was a loud bang that made Ellis’s ears ring. He felt something wet and warm spatter on his face. The struggling stopped and the door gave way. Without thinking, he shut it and locked the deadbolt. His chest heaved as he ran his fingers down his face and brought his hand to his eyes.

Blood.

Ellis turned around. There, cradling a smoking under-over, was his buddy Keith. A cigarette glowed between his lips. Keith quit that vice years ago, but Ellis could see why it was a good time to start again. He took the coffin-nail out of his mouth and blew a cloud of grey smoke before flicking it to the ground and putting it out with a stomp.

“Glad ya could make, man.”

Ellis could have said he was happy to see him too, but he was still taken aback by what he just did to that man.

“Jesus Christ, Keith! Ya killed ‘em!”

Keith nodded, his long, jet-black hair bobbing with him. Unlike most guys, he preferred long hair over short. Fear of conformity, mostly. Old, slightly shiny burn scars patched across his thin, gaunt face. He wore a simple Megadeth t-shirt and faded jeans. Oh his feet he wore boots. He always wore boots. Hell, he’d go to a fancy dinner party wearing boots, that is, if he was ever invited to one. His expression was unchanged as he glanced at the bloodstains and reloaded his shotgun.

“They ain’t human no more, Ellis. Ya saw it yerself. Is that any way a normal person would act?”

“But... still...” Ellis protested weakly.

Keith continued. “I saw the signs, man. A lotta people gettin’ sick, the government gettin’ involved, news black-out from the East Coast, military showin’ up... This ain’t a regular flu, man. It’s a zombie virus.”

He gestured to the tables in his small living room that had been recently re-arranged. On top of their wooden surfaces sat nearly everything. Guns, ammo, food, folding knives, first-aid kits, radios, canteens, and anything else one would need if they were going on a hardcore survival trip... If that included taking your own weight in shotgun shells.

“I’ve been stockin’ up. Planned to wait it out here, but that won’t work. This ain’t a regular zombie infestation. The military won’t be saving this place, they’ll be bombin’ it soon.”

“What?!” Ellis nearly shouted. This was their hometown, for Christ’s sake! How could they do that?

“Ya heard me,” He replied in his flat, monotonous voice. “The infection’s already spread ‘cross the coast, and the military is pullin’ out all the stops to get it contained. It’s SNAFU. No option’s out the window at this point.” He continued after a slight pause. “There’s a military evac over at the downtown high-rise. If we can get there before the day after tomorrow, we’ll be choppered outta this place.”

“But what about-”

“All dead an’ gone.” He interrupted. Ellis reeled with the revulsion of this whole situation. All the rest of their friends... dead. He slowly slumped down the surface of the door before finally hitting the ground. Tears started to form around his eyelids, sorrow threatening to completely overtake him. They were dead... they were dead...

“Hey.” Keith stood over him, hand held out. “You an’ me, we’ve been through some tough shit. Maybe not as tough as this, but were gonna get through it, so help us God.” He smiled. It was a genuine, meaningful smile that could only come from the bestest buddy in the whole-wide world. Ellis had known him for so long. He was like a brother to him, and Keith thought the same. Sure, the naive mechanic got him hurt and mangled a lot of the time due to his carelessness or downright stupidity, but their companionship went a lot deeper than a few dozen sorrys and a get-well-soon card. They understood each other. They’ve also had their share of ups and downs, but if any true friendship existed on this damnable planet, it would be theirs.

Ellis slapped his palm and gripped tight, hoisting himself up with Keith’s aid. His tears were long forgotten.

“Yer right, man. We’re gonna do this. Were gonna get outta here and were gonna kill a few hunnerd zombies while were at it!”

Ellis turned and raised his right sleeve. Keith did likewise and raised his left. They both had matching tattoos on their arms.

“You an’ me,” Keith rephrased. “We’re badass zombie killin’ machines.”

Ellis nodded. “Hell yeah.”

To Ellis, everything suddenly became distant and muffled, like he was being lifted and flown away by some ethereal force. He could hear a voice calling... calling his name... calling...

“Dude! Ellis!”

The human snorted back to reality. His head seared with agony. He reached up with his hand and felt a lump on his forehead. Sawdust and Ball-Peen stood over him, worried looks planted on their otherworldly equine faces.

“Aww shit... the hell happened?” He tried to sit up. His head throbbed and almost beat him back down.

“You were running and you tripped. Fell flat on your face.” It was Ball-Peen who spoke this time. He hovered with his wings while holding up Ellis’s discarded hardhat with his front hooves. “I told ya, safety first.”

His memory was fuzzy. “Why was ah runnin’ again?”

Sawdust moved aside and gestured to Rainbow Dash, who was shuffling awkwardly, looking at the ground in shame. Ellis suddenly remembered.

“Oh... yeah.”

The cyan pegasus stepped closer to the bipedal sitting figure. “I’m really, really sorry. I- I just... lost my cool...”

Ellis scrunched his face and chuckled. The chuckle turned into a short burst of laughter. He didn’t know why he laughed, but it felt good in a way, His head still smarted, though. Dash looked him funny, like she broke him or something with that head injury.

“We’ve all done our share of stupid shit, ma- girl.” He quickly corrected himself. “Some of us way more than others...” He really had to drill it in his head to remember that she’s a female. He could admit that her voice would be quite high for a guy. In hindsight, he really couldn’t determine why he assumed her gender incorrectly in the first place. Or her sexual orientation. Maybe it was the hair...

“No, I really mean it.” She insisted with guilt laced in her voice. “If Twilight hadn’t shown up, I probably would have strangled you while you were unconscious.”

Said lavender unicorn stepped forward. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Rainbow. It’s over, it’s done, let’s just drop it.” She looked at Ellis with concern. “Are you ok?”

“Ah’ve had worse.” He wasn’t lying.

“See? He’s fine and he forgives you. You can stop blaming yourself now.”

Ellis finally got a good look at Rainbow Dash. Her eyes were really red and stained with tears. Her lips still quivered and she sniffed softly as she watched the human with emotional turmoil. The sight hit him through the chest where it counted.

“Aww... come now, girl.” He spread his arms open and took her in an embrace. “S’all good. Ya done nothin’ wrong. It’s mah own fault, really.” She whimpered in his gentle hug. Twilight noted that she looked incredibly flustered when he ran his fingers through her mane, trembling a little more than usual. They broke the embrace and Dash stepped back, more maladroit than she intended and blushed brightly. Ellis slowly got on his feet. He wobbled a bit and cupped his forehead, but he soon stabilized.

“How long was ah out?” He asked Twilight.

“A good five minutes. You scared us for a while. We were close to calling a doctor, but I’m not sure if anypony here is qualified to treat a human.”

“Like ah said, I’ve had worse. I’ll be fine, just gotta walk it off.” He stumbled over, catching himself as he tried to move forward. The ponies started in surprise.

“Are you sure, man?” Sawdust asked. “You were going pretty fast, then you just pulled the breaks with your face. Stopped on a dime.”

“Man, I’ve been beaten, crushed, burned, nearly torn apart... hell, I’ve been shot a couple times! Rochelle didn’t have the best aim. This here’s a paper cut compared to what I’ve been through.”

Twilight understood exactly what he was saying, thought the other three were confused and worried beyond belief. He picked himself up once again, acceptably balanced this time.

“Well,” Sawdust said. “I guess it’s back to work, man.”

All five of them headed back to the west district where they would resume repairing the roof. Ball-Peen gathered more two-by-fours and set to hammering the rest of them in. They were almost to the point where they would start covering it with plywood. Then, they would shingle it. Twilight and Rainbow Dash watched Ellis as he rested on a bench. They were still worried about him. He just didn’t seem himself after he woke up.

“Ellis, if there’s anything you need...” Twilight offered.

“Jus’ some time to recover.”

She sighed. He was tough, that was evident. He was tougher than most ponies she knew. Applejack was the only one she could think of that shared his unwillingness to be phased by pain or injury. So far, she assumed that she was the only one to see him in any state of weakness, back in her library when he almost had a mental breakdown. Celestia, that gave her quite a scare. Despite their continued offerings of help, he politely refused. Not because of pride, but because he didn’t want to trouble them more than he had to.

“Ok.” The unicorn concluded, finally giving in. “If you say you’re fine, we’ll just leave you to your job. Come on, Rainbow.”

The pegasus huffed indignantly. “What if I wanna stay and talk to him some more?”

Twilight gave an annoyed glance to the stray clouds that listed overhead. “Didn’t the weather call for clear skies?”

“Oh. Whoops.” She sped off to catch up on her neglected weather-control. Twilight sighed and once again addressed the human.

“Well, Ellis, we all have things to do, so... I guess I’ll be off.” She turned to head back to the library.

“Wait.” Ellis called after. She stopped and turned around.

“Ah jus’ wanted tah thank ya for all the things ya did for me. Ya never asked anything of me in return, though.”

Twilight smiled. “You’re very welcome, but I don’t need you to do anything for me to make up for the things I did for you. After all, what are friends for?” She left to resume her day on that note.

Ellis laughed softly to himself, shaking his head. “Ah have a magical unicorn as a friend now... Imagine that...”

+++++

Spike put his face to the floor and sniffed. His scaly nostrils opened and closed with each inhale. On all fours, he traversed the library, sniffing like some kind of tiny purple bloodhound. His eyes were closed; he was diverting all of his attention to his sense of smell, which, in all honesty, wasn’t as good as Pinkie’s, but just barely enough to get the job done.

He caught the trail. An ever so faint musk of saltwater and fish tickled his olfactory nerves. The pearls! Twilight took them away from him, but that wasn’t fair. He bought them with his own money! She had no right to take them from him. Well, maybe a little, but still he at least deserved a taste. He hasn’t even had a lick of them yet. Why didn’t he have a couple when he was coming back to the library from buying them? Either fear of his mouth turning a different color and Twilight noticing or savoring the moment until he was in his favorite eating spot... Probably a little of both. It didn’t matter now, she didn’t count on Spike finding it with his sense of smell. Why should minerals smell like anything? Usually, they don’t, but these were pearls. They’ve been marinated in the mouth of a clam for years. They practically reeked of marine residue.

His dogged hunting brought him up the stairs to Twilight’s bedroom. There, snout still scanning the ground, he circled around the room several times, gauging the intensity of the scent carefully before it became too familiar and undetectable to him. It got stronger as he came to her bed. Spike rose up and took a large breath of air through his nose, tasting for his oh-so sought after delicacies. It was here, he was sure of it. He climbed up the pristine bedsheets and covers, taking care not to leave too much of a mark. Twilight could tell. Her OCD gave her an attention to detail almost akin to Rarity’s.

His hunt came to an end at the head of the bed, or so he thought. The scent was overpowering here, but there was nothing here. Just a blank wall. The wavy grain of the wood lined its natural non-planar surface. ”Funny...” He thought. ”Could have sworn there was a shelf here...” He reached out with his stubby claw to feel the wall.

He yelp as his weight gave way. The surface rippled around his wrist. In his sudden panic, he quickly pulled away. The wall distorted slowly until finally returning to its original guise. Spike blinked as he realized it wasn’t evil sorcery, but Twilight’s doing. He had no idea she could do that, too! Then again, the unicorn was Celestia’s prodigy. She was full of surprises. Hesitantly, he reached in again, the ghostly wall contorting and shimmering to his touch. He felt around blindly for his bag. His claws ran over a few books, unsurprisingly. Probably late-night reading material. He felt the first non-book object, a strap, and pulled it out.

What came out was not his bag. It was some kind of thin, flat sheath. Perfectly straight, make of super-tightly woven, yet flexible tan material. It was heavy; something resided inside of it. He found something sticking out of one end. Some hard dull-orange thing wrapped in black tape. He smelled a faint metallic tang on it. He manipulated it with his claws, curious. He had never seen anything like it before. Turning it handle down, the thing slipped out slightly, revealing a shiny surface. He grabbed the tape-wrapped knob and pulled it out the object, dropping the sheath.

It was metal. Flat metal attached to a handle. It sprouted fourth from the base, the width gradually crescendo’d until one side curved to meet the other at a 90 degree angle. With closer inspection, Spike could see that it was sharpened, albeit thoroughly chipped. The flat was stained with flecks blackish-reddish stuff which the dragon could not identify. It was just a weird knife. Why would Twilight keep something like this hidden?

He held it out, both of his meager claws holding the handle. Without thinking, he swung it side to side. A peculiar emotion thumped in his chest. He felt slightly lighter, elated. He swung it again, the sharpened side forward. The indescribable feeling came yet again, more powerful than last time. It felt... good. Like he was made to do this. Like a young pony would feel when he or she would get his or her cutie mark. He gripped it tighter.

Suddenly, he wasn’t in Twilight’s bedroom anymore. There was an encompassing whooshing sound as Spike closed his eyes and his mind was sucked into another place. It was dark. Pitch-black, in fact. Nothing could be seen beyond himself. Something appeared to his right. Glowing, red dots. Blood-colored specks against the ebony background. It moved and bobbed, seeming getting closer. Eight of them. More appeared to his left, then behind him, then in front, then off to the side. With them a sound finally ushered above the howling wind. Chittering, the sound of chitin on chitin, clacking together. Raspy, hungry, sucking growls came too. Their nightmarish forms became outlined. Shapeless, inky, slender figures. Their bodies seemed to fluctuate and shift, blending together into a mass of evil and malevolence. There were dozens upon dozens of them, all short of a perfect circle around Spike, reaching out with their obsidian talons in need of something to rip and tear. Darkened spittle dribbled from their frothing mandibles. They were ready to slaughter.

Spike was not afraid. He should have been, but something kept him calm. He felt as if he was wearing the skin of an entirely different dragon. Sure enough, he was not the same. Gone was the stumpy, cherub-like form of a baby dragon. In its place was a 7-foot tall rigid individual. His toned legs were taunt with anticipation. His broad chest spanned over rippling muscle underneath his matured, hardened scales. Armor covered his shoulders, complete with a flowing red cape. His cleft jutted heroically outwards from his lower face. He definitely was not afraid. With his well-trained, powerful arms, he raised his weapon. Braided steel two-handed grip, deadly morning star pommel, a visage of a great, awe-inspiring dragon head on the hilt. It had glorious, shining rubies for eyes, and from its gaping, golden maw sprouted forth a wicked blade composed of a metal only known to dragon-kind, sharpened to an impossible edge. Snaking, grooved patterns traced along the flat, which was also embedded with smooth, glittering gems. It extended above Spike’s head as he rose it to a vertical position, coiled and ready to strike. It was more than just perfectly balanced in his claws; it was an extension of himself. The horde of twisted monsters continued to snarl and jeer, itching, aching to get a taste of his blood. Spike’s brow intensified as he uttered but four words:

“Come at me bro.”

With an unholy screech, the first of them leapt, malformed limbs ending in bladed fingers outstretched. Spike turned and swung. His sword sang the Cantus Mortem as it sailed and hit the atramentous shell, splitting it like a reed. The monster screamed as he met his demise the blade clearing all the way through its chest. Toxic ichor splattered from the cut, staining Spike’s blade, his chest, and his face before the two halves of the lifeless body thumped to the ground and dissolved into black smoke. Another sprang forward. Spike reacted with a downward horizontal, slicing it first through its slender, barbed arm, then through its skull, cleanly and easily as the last. More came, one after the other. They clawed, they thrashed, they bit... but to no avail. One by one, he slayed them all. Corpse after smoking corpse hit the dust. Spike danced a deadly ballad, sword flying and wounding, smiting and vanquishing, stabbing red eyes and hacking piceous chitin. Dark fog rose from the dissolved bodies of the fallen, which he dispersed with a swirling whirlwind of razors. At last the monsters were defeated, their slowly dissipating, mangled forms covered the ground around him as Spike breathed in and out, relishing in the afterglow of combat. He had won. He was victorious.

Spike snapped back to reality. He blinked at the plain machete in front of him, mind reeling from what he had just experienced. To an onlooker, he would have appeared to stand still for several seconds, staring blankly into space with the blade in his claws. He turned the knife end over end once more, exhilarated by the effect it had on him.

“Woah.” He breathed.

There was a familiar sound of the library door opening.

“Spike! I’m back!”

Panicked, he quickly re-sheathed the machete and placed it back into the enchanted cubbyhole. He then jumped off the bed and straightened out the covers, leaving it as straight and tidy as before. Twilight Sparkle came up to the bedroom to find her assistant nonchalantly dusting the furniture, whistling while he worked.

“Oh hey Twilight!” He said, injecting innocent cheer into his voice and succeeding all too well. The librarian found nothing out of order.

“Anything happen while I was gone? Did anypony visit?”

“Uh... nope. Nothing happened. I was only dusting.” He said hurriedly while the feathered tool swiped the bookshelves.

“Well, alright. Carry on.” She walked off downstairs.

Spike sighed in relief. “That was close...”

+++++

It was just a little past 11:00 and the roof was going along swimmingly. All the beams had been repaired and they had just begun trimming plywood to cover it. To haul the sheets up, ropes had to be looped around the corners so Ball-Peen could lift it by the rope. They would be carefully set into place and then fastened in while Ellis and Sawdust were busy cutting them to fit.

Said human wiped the perspiration from his forehead with his arm and set back to sawing. His limbs were starting to get sore, but he kept working none-the-less. Sawdust said that lunch was at 12 sharp, so it was less than an hour until a 20 minute break. The teeth of the blade divided the wood, leaving particles of tan dust to float to the ground and collect on his overalls, which he shook off every now and then. Ponyville was at the height of activity now. The pastel equines trotted about and occasionally stopped to see the human. A journalist even came to ask the human some more questions, which Ellis answered. The pony flashed his camera and went back to the printing house to put it on tomorrow’s paper. Nopony impeded his job too much. Not until...

“Dude, Quick! Hide!” Sawdust suddenly shouted.

“What?” Ellis replied, confused.

The unicorn didn’t wait to explain. Using his magic, he tossed Ellis behind a stack of uncut lumber. Ellis didn’t know why he had to hide, but he trusted Sawdust’s word and laid on the ground, not moving or making a sound. He strained his ears to catch wind of what was going on. A grinding sound signaled that Saw picked up where he left off.

“Where is he?” A unfamiliar voice spoke. It sounded female, slightly tense.

“Oh hey Lyra-” He heard the ochre pony half-reply.

“WHERE IS HE?!”

“He’s not here.” Sawdust sounded like he was trying to remain calm.

“I know he’s here! Somepony said he was here!”

“Sorry, that’s a wrong-a-runo. He’s actually working on the post office in the north-east district.”

A pause.

“GAH!” The one Saw called “Lyra” exclaimed in frustration and stomped off. Ellis still remained noiseless.

“You can come out now, she’s gone.”

Ellis rolled over and got to his feet. “Who the hell was that?”

“That was Lyra.” He explained. “Got tipped off that she was looking for you this morning.”

“Why?”

“Don’t know, but this isn’t the first time she’s acted up. She ain’t right in the head, man.”

The whole situation wasn’t any closer to making sense for Ellis. Why would she be after him? Did she hate him?

“Look, dude,” Sawdust gave a worried glance in the direction where Lyra left. “Just look out for her. Don’t let her see you, don’t let her find you. She’s a unicorn, minty color, white highlights in her mane, lyre cutie mark.” He looked back at the human. “I’ll watch out for you.”

“Ok...” Ellis still wasn’t clear, but he merely returned to sawing. He casted wary side to side takes, watching out for that barmy pony.

+++++

Apple Bloom galloped toward the bright red barn of Sweet Apple Acres. The little filly giggled with delight as she passed the corn, alfalfa, and other secondary crops that grew close to the structure. A friendly cow waved her a hello, but she paid no attention as she sped past her, too. She was trying to get to the house before Ellis left for Ponyville.

As she came closer to the barn, Big Macintosh waved her to slow down. She obeyed. It was her brother, after all. She held respect for the stoic work-pony. He was hitching a bucket-filled cart to his yoke, prepared to haul it out into the fields to resume his work from yesterday. His wheat stalk shifted to the other side of his mouth and looked at Apple Bloom with lethargic eyes.

“Now what’s the hurry here, sister?”

The yellow filly bounced up and down. “Ahm tryin’ tah get tah Ellis before he leaves! I wanna ask him somethin’!”

Big Mac sighed. “Ya just missed ‘em. He an’ Applejack already left for town.”

Apple Bloom hung her head in disappointment. Her bow-tie sagged.

“But,” Her brother continued. “AJ wanted me to give ya this.” He fished into his saddle bag, pulled out a black square, and lightly tossed it to her. She caught it and turned it up with her teeth so she could see it in front of her face.

“Wuw is it?” She muffled.

“It’s Ellis’s wallet. He gave it to ya.”

Apple Bloom grinned widely, her eyes sparkled with wonder.

“Cool!”

“Now you go off n’ play fer now. I’ve got some work for ya later...” He trailed off as his sister ignored him and made a beeline for the house, eager to inspect her new gift.

“Guess ah shoulda mentioned that before ah gave it to ya.”

Apple Bloom shut the door of her room and hopped up onto her tiny bed. She set the wallet in front of her, tilting her head and scrutinizing it vividly. She flipped it over with her petite forehooves and prodded it some more. She was completely clueless on how it worked. So, she did what she always did when confronted with a stubborn small object. She took it into her teeth and shook it vigorously.

The tri-fold came open and out flew rectangular pieces of paper, plastic cards, and other stuff. Apple Bloom set the wallet down and inspected the green papers. They were intricate in design, double-sided, too. One side had a human face on it, the other a picture of some building. They each varied slightly: different faces, different symbols and such. The plastic cards didn’t have too much on them. To her they looked like useless hunks of whatever. Apple Bloom sighed. She shook the wallet again to see if anything else would fall out, but to no avail. This was all boring junk! They were just bits of paper and plastic!

But they’re alien bits of paper and plastic.

Apple Bloom considered the new perspective on the items strewn out on her bed, but it didn’t help make them any more interesting. She was hoping for some out-of-this-world magic device like the aliens have in Scootaloo’s comic books. Awesome technology that could shoot lasers and control somepony’s mind! She plodded and stared at the papers once more. Apple Bloom was starting to think that Ellis wasn’t an alien at all!

Something caught her eye, something she hadn’t noticed before. A small, white piece of paper. It looked kind of old, too. She could tell instantly that there was more to it. She took the paper and flipped it so the other side was facing up. Apple Bloom’s eyes widened.

It was a photograph of Ellis, but another human was in it as well. This human, however, had long a black mane, instead of Ellis’s short brown one. He stood behind Ellis, one arm around his shoulders, the other hand held up with two fingers raised. They were both smiling. Apple Bloom didn’t know why, but she knew that this must be Ellis’s friend. They just looked and acted like they’ve been with each other for a long time.

The little filly felt a pang of sadness for the human. When he came to Equestria, he didn’t have this other guy with him. But why? Couldn’t he come? Maybe he couldn’t afford a ticket for the spaceship, or something. Ellis must miss him. They looked so happy together...

Apple Bloom gathered all the paper, plastic, and the wallet together and put it in a little woven basket for safe-keeping. She stopped herself before putting the photo with the rest of the stuff. With a moment of consideration, she decided to keep the picture in a more special place than the rest. Storing the basket under her bed, she placed the photo on her nightstand and gazed at it for a short while.

“Ah could ask Ellis about him when he gets back! Ahm sure he’ll love to tell a story about him!”

+++++

It was finally noon, lunchtime for the construction workers. Big Boss came around for another pass. His narrowed eyes watched for mistakes and any signs of indolent behavior. Finding none, he noisily rang a bell attached to the side of his office trailer.

“Alright! Lunch break! Back to work in twenty minutes!” He trotted off to his favorite diner, the one he always went to for lunch every day. Sawdust and Ball-Peen exhaled and unpacked their lunches out of metal containers. Ellis’s stomach growled, his internal clock signaling it was time to eat.

Only he hadn’t packed a lunch. He flicked himself in the forehead for being so forgetful.

Ball-Peen saw Ellis’s distress and flew up beside him.

“Hey. You want some of mine?” The achromatic pegasus offered his sandwich. Ellis only had to glance at it to see that it was stuffed with raw oats, hay, and flowers. Horse food.

“Naw, thanks. I’ll get by.” Back during the apocalypse, he sometimes went days without food. That was the true nightmare: not the zombies, not the bombs, but trudging on with nothing in your belly but a cup of water and a single strip of beef jerky. He didn’t like skipping lunch, but he knew he could survive it.

“Well, alright.” Ball-Peen returned and unceremoniously chomped into his food, munching at what another, likely Rarity, would consider a rude volume. The pegasus seemed distant most of the time, seemingly thinking to himself and keeping quiet. Sawdust could bring him out of his shell once in a while, but he was very reserved. He decided that he would ask what was on his mind sometime.

Ellis walked over to sit on a bench just on the side of the street, intent on passing the rest of his break relaxing and observing the townfolk. He smiled to the citizen, and they smiled back. He started to see common street-goers. Ponyville must have a incredibly small population, Ellis thought. He’s seen the brown colt with the hourglass cutie mark nine times already!

Then he saw a familiar face that he didn’t think he’d see for a while. It was Applejack, heading his way, saddlebags on her back. Ellis’s face brightened dramatically as he waved to her. She didn’t look as enthusiastic. In fact, she looked a bit melancholy. He formulated a plan to better her mood.

“Hey Ellis.” She said as she came up to an audible distance with the human.

“Hey AJ. Just wanted tah ask ya something...” He took a pair of shades from his pocket and put them on. “Why the long face?”

YYYYEEEAAAAAAAHH-

“Where’d ya get those?” The orange mare inquired.

“Oh. Uh... Dash let me borrow them fer a while.” He took off the shades and stowed them back in his pocket, disappointed that his joke had missed.

“So ya talked to her, then? Ah haven’t seen her since yesterday.” Applejack hesitated before going on. “...And ah really ain’t the type tah listen to rumors, but ah heard you two got in a scuffle. Is that true?”

He took off his hardhat and displayed the dark bruise on his forehead. “Jus’ a small one. S’all right.”

“Oh mah gosh! Did she do that tah you?!”

“Naw... this was all me. I fell. Got knocked out cold, too. She was just chasing me.” He replied somberly.

“Why?”

“I... uh... may have miscalculated her... gender... by a bit er so...”

“You thought she was a colt?!”

Ellis searched for proper words to respond to that. Finding none, he simply raised his arms and shrugged, like the whole damn thing was just a cheeky little mistake.

That did it for Applejack. She completely broke the frown on her face and started chortling, the hilarious spasms squeezing her for every last breath in a decrescendo’ing chuckle before taking a deep gulp of air and laughing even harder. Her legs gave out and she was brought to her knees, then her belly. She buried her face in her front foreleg and pounded the ground with the other. Ellis merely sat awkwardly as the farmpony lost control of herself for a good half-minute. When she was finally done, she stood back up on wobbly legs, a grin still stuck on her face.

“This is just too much. Why the hay did ya think she wasn’t a filly?”

“I dunno... ah guess it was just the way she acted and all...” She could tell that he regretted that screw-up more than he cared to admit.

“Ah didn’t mean tah laugh at you. Ahm sorry.”

“Don’t be, girl. It’s always nice tah make people laugh.” He put his hardhat on, wincing at the pressure it applied to his tender bruise. “S’ides, ya have a nice smile.”

But that smile disappeared after he said that. Ellis was worried that he may have said something wrong; something unintentionally insulting. On her face was an expression that almost looked like... surprise? He couldn’t be sure. The flash of facial movement only lasted a split-second.

“Well thanks, Elli.” She then reached around into her saddlebag and took out a paper-covered parcel. “Ah noticed ya didn’t bring a lunch with ya, so ah brought ya some. Peanut and apple-butter!”

Ellis took the sandwich and unwrapped it. “Don’t ya mean peanut-butter an’ apples?” He inquired.

“Nope.” Applejack replied plainly.

The human was intrigued, so he gave it a bite. She wasn’t lying when she said it peanut and apple-butter. Crunchy nuts smothered in some kinda creamy and smooth apple jam. It was delicious.

“Mmm...” He expressed his contentment through a stuffed mouth before gulping it down. “T’is is good! Thanks, Applejack!”

“Aww, it’s no problem at all. I was happy tah make it for ya.”

He quietly ate his sandwich as the conversation shifted to awkward small-talk.

“So... how’s work going for ya? Findin’ everything to be alright?”

“Yep.” He said with a bread-filled mouth.

“Anything else happen?”

He wanted to tell her about Lyra, but he couldn’t grasp the situation with her enough to make sense of it. He had no idea why she wanted to see him so badly. None of the other ponies acted this strongly to his appearance.

“Naw, jus’ business an’ all.”

Applejack looked around, apparently trying to find something to talk about. She sighed.

“Alright, Ellis, I’ll leave y’all to it an’ see ya later.”

“See ya!” Ellis waved while she walked off. “Thanks again for the food!”

“Yer welcome!” She called back from the distance.

+++++

”A nice smile...” Applejack pondered while she walked. “That’s a first.” Ellis was either quite good at flattery or that was a genuine compliment. She wasn’t too sure about the latter. Aren’t smiles all the same?

She discarded the thought, setting on getting to Sugarcube Corner where Fluttershy had asked for her help getting Pinkie Pie out of her room. Applejack couldn’t believe that she was still in there. Even she needed to eat once in a while, right? Though this wasn’t the first time Pinkie had acted like such, the orange earth pony still worried due to the fact she had no clear reason to do so. Ellis has been proven to be completely harmless, and the rest of the town knows that. Pinkie was the only one still locked in her home. Maybe she was just regretting the fact that she caused this problem in the first place. Not likely... she’s done the same during the last Nightmare Night, and although, as it turned out, she was just doing it for harmless fun, one would think she would feel something for alienating the princess.

Applejack entered the front door of the bakery. The smell of fresh pastries tantalized her senses, made her mouth water. She reminded herself that she wasn’t here for sweets. Mrs. Cake was busy at the counter, cleaning the surface with a moist cloth. She looked up and smiled at the newcomer.

“Applejack, good to see you.” She greeted. “I haven’t seen you around here for a while. Come for lunch?”

“Naw, ma’am, ahm here for Pinkie.”

Mrs. Cake frowned. “Oh. She’s still upstairs. I think your friends Rarity and Fluttershy are up there too, trying to get her to come out.”

Sure enough, she could hear the calls of the fashionista, dampened through the walls between them accompanied by the faint but punctual knocking sound of a hoof on a door.

“Mrs. Cake, aren't you her employer? Can’t y’all just tell her to get her flank downstairs and git back tah work?”

The pudgy blue baker sighed. “I wish it were that easy, dearie. Working with Pinkie is kind of... non-standard. She’s half the reason why this bakery is so successful. Her extravagant baking, her festive arrangements; she even decorated it when she first started working here! Me and my hubby put up with her quirks and shenanigans because of that.”

Applejack wasn’t convinced. “Is that so?”

“Not really...” Her voice trailed off. “It’s complicated. You’re free to go upstairs and help out. Good luck, though, nothing has worked so far with her.”

“Thanks.” Applejack nodded and ascended the steps to Pinkie Pie’s room, where the alabaster and canary ponies stood right outside the door. The farm pony cleared her throat and both Rarity and Fluttershy looked round to meet her. The pegasus was the first to speak.

“I’m so glad you could come, Applejack. We’ve tried everything to get her out of there.” She said in her soft, breathy voice.

“My patience as just about run thin with that girl.” Rarity stated as she idly trimmed her hooves with a file. “She’s been rather difficult before, but never like this.”

“She still thinks Ellis would hurt her or something.” Fluttershy explained. “I really don’t know much about him, but he doesn’t seem like the type to go around hurting other ponies.”

Applejack groaned. “Alright, lemme give it a try.” She walked up to the bedroom door and knocked. “Pinkie Pie! It’s me, Applejack!”

There was a pause before a reply came from behind the locked barrier. “You’re not getting me out!”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Look, Pinkie, ah can tell you right now, and ah swear- no... ah Pinkie Promise that Ellis don’t wanna hurt ya.” She made the silly gestures that came with the rite of the “Pinkie Promise” and chanted the signature rhyme:

“Cross mah heart an’ hope tah fly, stick a cupcake in mah- OW! Eye...” She accidentally thrust her hoof into her socket a little harder than she intended. There was a short moment of silence. Then, the deadbolt slid and the door creaked open a smidgen. Pinkie Pie could be seen on the other side, but just barely. The room was dark; the shades were drawn shut. Applejack could make out her cotton-candy mane, all frizzy and unkempt from having the bed covers pulled over her head for so long. She could see her eyes. Unease was written all over them.

She whimpered. “You promise?”

“Pinkie, when ah make promises, ah darn well keep ‘em! You should know that!” She lowered her voice. “Can ya tell me why ya still scared a’ him?”

She opened the door a little further. “His smell.”

“His smell? Really? He doesn’t stink that bad. In fact, he took a shower last night. All cleaned up.”

“No, Applejack,” Nopony had ever seen her this quiet or forlorn. It scared them, to be honest. “He smells... he smells like blood.”

“Blood?!” Rarity exclaimed. Fluttershy was also taken aback.

“He was coated in it. I could smell him. I can smell a lot of things other ponies can’t.”

“Oh, darling, you must be imagining it. He does not look like the kind of creature who would... do that.” Rarity suddenly became unsure of herself in mid-sentence. All three turned to Applejack, who looked back with an expression of equivocation.

“Applejack? Do you know something that has to do with this?” The ivory unicorn inquired.

“Ah... ah didn’t wanna tell ya. Ah didn’t want any more cause for alarm. There was a reason he had that knife with him. Last night, he gave me the story of what he went through before he got himself here.” She wavered, not sure how to convey what she had been told.

“Go on.” Rarity insisted.

“Y’all won’t believe me. Ah didn’t think ah could believe it mahself. The place where he came from... it was full of zombies.”

“Zombies? That’s absurd!”

“Ah ain’t lying. That’s what his machete was fer, defending himself against other infected humans. Trying to survive when the whole darned world is out tah kill ya.” She looked at their faces. They were all near-mortified except for Fluttershy’s, who seemed strangely reserved in her reaction, only displaying despondency. “He said he didn’t have a choice. Ah personally think that he did the right thing, puttin’ the tortured souls in a better place. Ah honestly wouldn’t want to be in his place.”

Applejack focused on the pink mare. “Pinks, he’s had it worse than anypony we know combined, and by a stroke a’ chance, he got outta that hole and ended up here. Don’t you think he deserves a chance?”

“Well...” Pinkie Pie was indecisive. “I... uh...”

“One more thing...” Applejack got within whispering distance. “...he really likes yer cupcakes.”

By some force of unknown Pinkie-magic, her eyes brightened and her hair phased back into its normal, neatly poofy state. A bubbly smile spread across her face.

“Then let’s throw him a PAR-!”

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” Mrs. Cake appeared behind them. “You’re not doing any parties until you’ve made up for skipping out on me for yesterday and this morning!”

Bemusement slapped her face. “Wha-? But... Ok...” She hung her head and trudged downstairs, her boss scowling close behind her.

“Maybe tomorrow, Pinkie!” Applejack called. She was glad that was all taken care of. Hopefully, that would be the last of her problems.

+++++

“Alright, dude.” Sawdust vocalized. “Here comes the next part: re-shingling.”

Lunch was over, and so was the process of covering the beams with sturdy plywood. After a quick session of shouting from Big Boss, they prepared their next designated task. All three helped haul the crate of roof tiles from the cart and set it next to the wall of the building in repair. They would all be working on this from the roof. With their combined efforts, they should have it done in no time at all.

“Ok, Ellis, we just need a ladder. I think it’s ‘round back. You think you can get it?”

“No problem.” The human did a two-finger salute and jogged off to the other side of the building. When he got there, he immediately saw the wooden implement. Taking care not to acquire any unneeded splinters, he placed his hands on the side of the rungs and-

A strange and eerie feeling struck Ellis. He felt like he was being watched. Hands still holding the ladder, he slowly turned his head around.

A pony sat behind him. A unicorn, to be exact. If he discerned the gender correctly, the muzzle shape dictated that according to Rainbow Dash, she was a female. She was completely still. Absolutely unmoving. The first thing Ellis noticed was her eyes. The irises were shrunk down to about the size of a golf ball, but the pupils were so dilated that it almost entirely covered the eye color. Only a thin outline of yellow could barely be worked out. The next was the full-toothed grin. Her demented smile. It nearly split her face in half. Ellis really started to feel creeped-out.

Then he noticed her color. Green. Her mane had a white highlight in it. She had a lyre cutie mark. Ellis realized who this was.

“You’re that one...” He trailed off, pointing at her.

She nodded her head.

“Who was lookin’...”

She nodded again. He swore he could hear the creaking sound of rusty hinges as she flexed her neck. Her chilling expression remained the same.

“An’ ya wanna...”

She nodded once more.

Ellis sighed. He knew exactly what was coming next.

“Ok... here we go...” He breathed while he limbered up his legs.

+++++

And so, the citizens of the small town turned their head to the sound of commotion - again - to see the now well-know bipedal creature hollering at the top of his lungs - again - being chased by a maniacal green unicorn for whatever reason most could not fathom.

...Again.

Ponyville was going to need a bigger insane asylum.

“COME BACK HERE!” Wailed the sea-foam madmare. “I WANT YOUR BOOODDDYYYYY!!!”

“Can’t ah go fer five minutes without being chased?!” Ellis yelled over her hysterics.

Sawdust caught the uproar and called out to the human.

“I told you about Lyra, bro! I warned you!”

“IT KEEPS HAPPENING!”

Lyra's Gone Too Far

Rainbow Dash knew of it. A hole in the cobbled home and workplace of Dominic. Something overlooked and unchecked. It didn’t even exist to anypony else but her. She could visualize the loose venting shutter even as she was quietly zooming towards the apothecarium. Since Dominic’s work produced potentially harmful fumes that could be fatal if they built up, he naturally installed a simple ventilation system that he could easily open and close to keep pests and intruders out. Yet, there was one shutter that never completely locked. One in the far corner of his lab, where it was too high and too awkwardly placed to conveniently maintain. Dash first noticed this compromise drifting by on a cloud overhead one day. She did not have an innate attention to detail like Rarity, quite the opposite, in fact, so the discovery was purely incidental. She had meant to tell Dominic about it, but due to her tendency to procrastinate, and sometimes forget altogether, it had never reached his ears. Now, she was using the information against her aged friend.

Dash felt sick. She felt low. She felt like a dirty, grimy, guilty scumbag for betraying her friend’s trust.

But she had to. She had to because she wanted it. She wanted it bad, and she was sure Dommy had a potion that could do it.

The mentally-warring pegasus found the shutter and, ever so slowly, shifted it’s hinges upwards. There was a faint metal slide as the latch bypassed the lock. Dash cringed as the shutter creaked open. She floated into the chemical-heavy air of the lab. Faint sounds could be heard: The dense groan of the ever-running distillery, tiny bubbling of slow boiling flasks, soft snores emanating from upstairs. Rainbow Dash paced her hovering, converging slowly to the basement door, where a plethora of concoctions were stored. A sign on the door depicted a head of a unicorn with a cross through it, the captions stating “NO MAGIC ALLOWED” in bold Equestrian lettering. She carefully gripped the door handle and pulled in tiny, agonizing squeaks. When the entrance was parted enough, she sucked in a breath and squeezed through the crack, sighing as she emerged on the dimly-lit staircase.

Dash descended down the steps, her heart beating sporadically. Sweat clumped her cyan fur together. She concentrated to control her heavy breathing. ”This is wrong.” She thought. “I can’t do this to the old-timer. He’d kill me if he found out!” Her standing with the ebon earth-pony was only mutual at worst, but she’s seen first-hand just how angry and crazy he got at times. She wouldn’t wish it on anypony.

Her descent came to and end as she beheld a truly grand sight. Hundreds of glass containers lined the dozens of shelves in the cool room, all organized and labels to a degree. It wasn’t as tidy as Twilight’s library, but it made sense. Dominic had a habit of using pictures and sketches just about as much as text, a habit even he couldn’t fully explain. He never got confused, though. Dash started at the very beginning, browsing flask after flask of colored fluids, finding things like “Enhanced Mentality”, “Dermal Strengthening”, “Stallionhood Enlar-

She hurriedly skipped over the next few shelves with a blush. That was definitely not where she would find it. She passed by the more magically potent potions. These were the right ones. She kept her concentration on the labels, scanning them all thoroughly. Finally, she came upon a small icon. An icon of a human torso, arms outstretched, face non-detailed, tagged upon a large, spherical flask filled with dark-purple, slightly luminescent liquid. “Score!” She reached out her hoof, intending to grab it, pour a sample, and leave. Then, she would sate her stupid fetish and be done with this whole charade.

Her hoof tapped with another. A sea-foam green one. Both necks snapped around to meet each other's eyes.

“You!” Dash and Lyra said in unison.

“What are you doing here?” The unicorn glared.

“I could ask you the same thing! You here to steals something of Dominic’s, thief?”

“Pots and kettles, Rainbow Dash!” Lyra haughtily retorted. “You’re here to do the exact same thing!”

Dash started to break into a sweat yet again. She was a mediocre dissembler at best. “Uh... no... I’m just... uh... taking inventory and stuff.”

Lyra’s glare intensified. She wasn’t convinced for a moment. “What do you even want with this potion?”

“It’s none of your business!” She raised her voice to a yell. The unicorn did likewise.

“Well you’re not getting it!”

Both Lyra and Dash halted their bickering when a pair of dark hooves shot out of the shadows, wrapped around their necks, and heaved them upwards. They were man-handled backwards on their hind hooves and slammed onto the cold, stony wall. The mares flanked their captor, dazed by the impact, overwhelmed by the stench of putrid body odor.

“Well, well, well...” Tsked Dominic, holding the frightened ponies in his forelegs. “If it isn’t my dear friend Rainbow Dash and her companion, come to this old stallion’s homestead for a midnight rendezvous. I’m humbled... you two truly are the epitome of thoughtfulness.”

Ignominy became visible on the rainbow pegasus’s face. “D-Dommy-”

Dominic suddenly became very serious, his head rearing around to give an angry glare. Dash’s heart nearly stopped. “Not a word from you! I’m incredulously disappointed in your actions, resorting to ferreting your way in here to purloin my hard work for your selfish desires! Twilight shall hear of this turpitude.”

Her guilt compounded onto itself as his words stabbed her heart. Tears ran freely from her dark-pink eyes. “I-I-I’m s-s-orr-” She half-choked. Dominic softened a bit, his own deep-blue eyes sighing away.

“Rainbow... this isn’t you. You shouldn't allow these obsessions to undermine you.” As much as he loathed thievery, he hated to see anypony in tears, especially his friend. Whatever came over the pegasus was certainly strong enough to drive her to espionage. Dominic wondered who else the human may have affected.

The thought was cut short as Lyra wrested herself from the stallion’s grip. She galloped back to her desired flask, swiping it off the shelf and cradling it in her forearms as she balanced on her hind legs with obviously practiced control. Dominic let Dash go to trail the unicorn, the sniffling pony following close after him.

“Don’t come any closer!” She warned frantically, her body twitching slightly.

The alchemist set her in his hard gaze, unfazed. “Lyra... place the flask back where it was before you do something you’ll regret.” He stepped closer.

“I’ll use my magic!”

Dominic stopped in his tracks, knowing very well the full weight of the threat. A vast majority of his potions are extremely magically sensitive. A single arcane spark could agitate his entire stock. Hundreds upon hundreds of chemical reactions all at once... it could turn everything within a mile radius of his home into a smoking crater. That’s why no magic was allowed in his storeroom. A unicorn was a living weapon in here.

He remembered her, the one who came in his apothecarium a few weeks back. She was silent, unsure of what she was doing. Timid. Reserved. In the end she bought nothing and left, but this pony couldn’t be the same one... This pony’s eyes were bloodshot, pupils contracted in a taunt state of mind, ready to snap at any moment. This was a pony driven by a single, all-powerful desire, one that she would even think about killing for. This was a pony that dreamt of being more than what she was... to be... human. Everyday, she cursed her form, she hated its imperfections, its equine limitations. She wished and she pleaded to be rid of it. Dominic met her eyes. They were the eyes of a madmare.

He carefully stepped away, coming to the side of Rainbow Dash, who was equally terrified. “Lyra, please, just calm down. You don’t mean that. You’ll kill all of us in an instant! Is that what you want? Is it?!” Dash gasped, unsure just how far Lyra was willing to go. Their fate was in her hooves now.

She panted heavily, sweat beading the sides of her neck. “I don’t care! This is what I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember! This is my dream! This is my destiny! You won’t take that away from me!” Dominic recognized it. Obsession turned into madness. He knew it all too well. She had convinced herself for years that this is what she needed. Reason did not exist within her thoughts.

Before anypony could react, the psychopathic unicorn ripped off the cork with her teeth and put the bitter brew to her lips.

“Wait!” Dominic rasped helplessly. “You don’t know what you’re doing! Don’t drink it!” Too late. Lyra tipped the bottom up.

“N-not all of it...”

The disgusting-tasting liquid sloshed down her throat past her gag reflex, which she suppressed through sheer force of will. The glowing concoction, countless temporary doses, was consumed in a matter of seconds. Dominic knew full well that such an intake could possibly kill her in the most painful manner imaginable: death by magical inundation.

The glassware slipped from her hooves and shattered on the floor as Lyra doubled over, clutching her sides and groaning in agony. She felt like she was going to explode. Searing hot pain seeped through her stomach lining and lanced through her circulatory system. Raw, seething magic bled into her very bones as she writhed and twisted. Her entire body transitioned from molten hot to icy cold, then hot again, then cold, each time getting faster until temperature held no meaning anymore. Her brain felt like it was on fire, and somepony was trying to douse it with acid. She furiously kicked her legs, wordlessly begging for it to stop.

Meanwhile, all Rainbow Dash and Dominic could do was watch. The chemist knew that there was nothing that could be done now. Her blood was already dangerously saturated with the formula and it was only a matter of time before the natural magic kicked in. As if on cue, the green unicorn’s fur started to glow incandescently, slowly becoming more intense as the seconds passed. They both gasped and shielded their eyes when it became too bright to bear. Lyra screamed. The pain was so intense. It was all over her body, down to her very core. She was sure she would die. She felt her body begin to shift and stretch, bend and change. She felt her hooves reshape themselves, her face getting flatter, her neck getting shorter. She felt her torso broaden, her bones growing spontaneously, her mammary glands moving up to her chest. She felt her fur disappear and her mane growing longer as her skull was reshaped. The agony was unbearable. Finally, the glowing abruptly faded.

Dash and Dominic peeked to look at what had happened to Lyra. They gawked at what they saw.

“Dear Celestia...” Rainbow started.

“Sweet mother of Discord...” Dominic swore.

Lyra opened her eyes. She was standing. Her body felt tingly and numb, but she was alive.

And changed.

She raised her limbs in front of her face to see.

Hands... Droplets of joy welled up in her eyes. They were hands. Her hands.

They were beautiful.

They were perfect.

They were exactly the way she had imagined them.

Slender, long, dexterous, Lyra slowly turned her trembling palms over, absorbing their detail, admiring the soft, fleshy color of her new skin. She brought them down to her torso, feeling the sensation of bare skin touching her toned abdomen. She rubbed her belly, electric bliss tingled through her now upright spine. Her hands moved up the smooth flesh to the small, but soft mounds of her naked bosom. They continued upward, greedily caressing her shoulders and collarbone. Finally, she placed her palms on her face. It felt angelic. Her eyes, her brow, her cheeks, her nose, her mouth, her chin, her ears... perfect perfect perfect! Fingers ran through her cool, green and white hair, the sliding strands tickling the skin between her digits. Her hooves involuntarily clopped on the ground in excitement. She began to wrap the limbs around herself to feel her ba-

Hold up.

HOOVES?!

Lyra’s eyes cracked wide open. She craned her neck downwards to her lower torso. She gasped. Right at her hip, her pinkish flesh ended, tapering off to a V shaped point. Beyond that was her familiar sea-foam green fur. Her gazed trailed lower to find long equine legs ending in hooves. She turned around, finding and equine back, an equine tail and equine hind legs with an equine flank bearing her lyre cutie mark! She hadn’t been turned into a human...

She had been turned into a centaur.

She turned to the incredibly dumbfounded Dominic and Rainbow Dash, her lips quivering.

“I’m... confused...”

Ooh, Plum Been Runnin', Buck a Doz

Ellis, Sawdust, and Ball-Peen all sat on the roof, tacking in the shingles and whistling while they worked. Not all it the same time, though. That would sound terrible. Only Ball-Peen was whistling, whistling something about winter. It was starting to get stuck in the human’s head.

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up~ NO! GET OUT OF MY BRAIN, DAMN YOU!

Only an hour into the shingling and they were already halfway done. Seeing the progress filled Ellis with a sense of accomplishment. Even Big Boss was starting to lighten up. From the outside, the house looked nearly whole again. With the pace they were working at, they would be done with plenty of time to spare.

Unless, of course, any more distractions decided to show up.

The incident with Lyra was in the past, at least. It did not go how she thought it would, that’s for sure.

The unbalanced mare had him backed into a secluded wall, slowly inching closer. She cackled through her clamped teeth, still fixed into a psychotic grin. Froth, by God, actual froth dribbled from the corners of her lips like a rabid animal. Her eyes were still fixated in that frightening stare. Ellis had never been more unnerved, no... absolutely terrified in all his life.

“I’ve got you now!” The words exited her mouth like venom from a fang.

“Wha-what are ya gonna do?” Ellis exhaled between pants.

Suddenly, Lyra’s face returned to a more familiar expression of plain confusion. She wiped the froth from her mouth with her foreleg.

“I dunno. Didn’t think that far...” She mused candidly.

Ellis needed a distraction. He thought up the best one he’ll ever get for the rest of his life.

“Uh... yer fetlocks’r untied.”

“They are?” Lyra looked down at her green hooves for a good three seconds before realizing that she had been tricked. When she looked up, the human was gone.

“Oh Celestia damn it...”

Ellis still couldn’t believe that worked. He also couldn’t figure out the deal with that unicorn, but it was over now, and she hasn’t come back yet. He suspected that she gave up due to not knowing what her own intention was. In hindsight, he should have guessed he would have acquired the attention of yet another less-than-sane pony considering Rarity. He just thought it would have been Pinkie Pie. “All bet’s are off.” He thought. “Ah wouldn’t be surprised if this town’s fulla nut-jobs.”

“Man, Ellis, you’re gettin’ all the mares.” Sawdust added as they continued the current conversation. “Wish I had that kinda charm.”

“Well, if ya know how, you kin take it. Ah don’t want it no more.”

They both laughed. Ellis could even hear Ball-Peen stifle a chuckle.

“You get the same treatment back at home, man?” The ochre unicorn asked.

“Naw. Don’t get chased by girls. Just zombies.” He took another shingle from the pile and began to nail it in. He was halfway through when he looked up and realized that both Sawdust and Ball-Peen were giving him strange looks. He got a bit too comfortable and just let the captious subject slip as if he were around Applejack.

“Zombies? You mean, like, zombie zombies?”

The human sighed and put his hammer down. A lot of explaining would have to be done now, just when he was starting to really enjoy their company. It was like they were already good friends, despite their differences in appearance that would have alienated him from most other ponies, he was sure. Though, telling another human about his survival probably would have enthralled them, but as he had learned with Applejack and Twilight, Equestrians seem to abhor violence and death by instinct.

“Infected. They came down with the Green Flu, got sick, and became zombies.”

“Why didn’t you get sick?” This time, it was the pegasus who spoke. Ball-Peen had been quiet for almost an hour, but he finally found something compelling enough to beat Sawdust to an inquiry.

“Ah was lucky. As it turns out, I’m immune to the virus. That didn’t help, though. The infected are just as bad.” He picked up his hammer and idly inspected it. He couldn’t meet their eyes. “I’ve run fer mah life more times than I can count, traveled hunnerds of miles to try and get outta there.”

“Dude, that’s pretty rough.” Sawdust sympathized.

“I wasn’t the only one, though. Met some other people like me. Immune. We stuck together an’ helped each other out. It all worked out in the end. Well, at least fer me.”

The unicorn glanced at the un-shingled portions of the roof. “We got time, man. Tell us about them.”

Ellis smiled to himself. Even though it was hell-on-earth, he cherished the time he spent with those three. Coach and Rochelle were fine from the start. Nick, however, was a snarky and ill-humored fellow. Originally, he planned to stick with them for a short time, then ditch and stake it out on his own to get back to his old way of life. Ellis didn’t particularly like him at first. He tried to be friendly during the short resting periods in the safehouses, but Nick only made fun of him and taunted his southern ethnicity. Over the weeks of going from place to place, escaping one city after another, Nick had come to respect him and his fellow teammates. Hell, Ellis remembered one time, after he had been near-strangled by a Smoker and incapacitated to the ground, he had referred to Ellis as a friend as the mechanic helped him off the ground and patched his wounds. He had changed, begrudgingly, yes, but it was still a good ways away from what he used to be like. They all changed a great deal, even Ellis. It should be mentioned that he actually enjoyed killing infected to a point, as long as he wasn’t on the receiving end of the punishment, but after being knocked down, burned with acid, ridden by a Jockey into a blazing fire, and nearly torn apart by a Witch over the course of several days... he just couldn’t find the fun in it anymore.

Then came near-death, being zapped back to life, being rescued again and again only to be sucked back down. Ellis just wanted out. His friends probably thought the same. By the time they were at the bridge, they were on their last legs. They all knew they couldn’t take another plunge back into it.

Sawdust and Ball-Peen still stared at him expectantly. Ellis nodded his head.

“If y’all say so, but it’s a long story.”

+++++

Applejack, her saddlebag full of freshly re-made gardening tools from the smithy, approached the familiar sight of home, sweet home. After a morning of traveling back and forth to and from Ponyville, she was eager to return to her applebucking.

Besides seeing Ellis and convincing Pinkie Pie to come out of her room, she had a mildly pleasant time with Wrought Iron. The old unicorn spent most of his days at his sweltering forge, making shoes, tools, and other metal-worked goods. He was glad to see Applejack, Granny Smith’s granddaughter. He and Granny were longtime friends, but, to Applejack, it seemed that all old ponies knew each other. Any mare or stallion past 60 could come to the farm and the aged matriarch would greet them like a long-lost friend. He asked how she was doing, how old were the kids, and other old-pony questions. Despite his stereotypical behavior, he was a kind and happy fellow. The farmpony always thought of him as what Dominic would have turned out to be if he didn’t spend most of his life in seclusion. He worried about the alchemist a lot. Even though he’s long since come to terms with himself, she still suspected that he clung to some of his emotional turmoil. Despite his irrationality, his inconsistencies, his lack of personal hygiene, she still thought well of him.

Applejack entered the house and went to the kitchen. Sure enough, there was Granny Smith. She was making her famous pie crusts for her even more famous apple pies, trimming the edges of the thin dough while rotating the pie tin.

“Hey Granny.”

Granny Smith jumped a little in surprise. She set the kitchen knife down.

“Dooh... sweetie, you know better than tah sneak up on me like that!” Applejack knew she wasn’t angry. She knew that she was easily startled due to her inattention, so she just always said that as a sort of running joke. She readjusted her thick, cats-eye glasses.

“So, how’s our lil’ traveler doing? What news from yonder?”

“Ahm all done with my trips to Ponyville, Granny. Gotchyer gardening tools all fixed up.” She set her saddlebags on the counter and began to unpack.

“Thank you, dear. How’s Iron doing these days?”

“He’s all fine an’ dandy. Says he’s looking forward tah yer pies.”

Granny Smith smiled. “Oh dat old coot. I swear he loves mah pies as much as he loves his wife! That’s all ah hear him talk about.”

Applejack chuckled. “Yeah, that’s about half of it.” She set down the grocery items she picked up while she was in town. Might as well take care of the spices while she was there, she thought. With only the tools in her bags now, she set off to put them in the shed.

“Hold up.” Granny called as she began to resume her trimming. “The lil’ one was all excited ‘bout somethin’ tah do with your new friend. She’s been bouncin’ up an’ down in mah kitchen fer a good while! She got somethin’ tah show ya, ah think.”

“Probably the wallet.” She thought. Anything will get her excited.

“Alright, I’ll go see her before I git back tah work.”

+++++

Applejack slid the door of Apple Bloom’s bedroom open. The small filly was coloring. Papers and a spectrum of crayons were strew across the floor in a tight pile surrounding her. She looked up from her artwork and smiled at her older sister entering the room, a dark blue stick of hardened wax still in her teeth.

“Hey there sis.” The older one greeted.

“Applejack! Ah wanted tah show ya somethin’!”

“And ahm here tah see it.” She returned. “Did ya like Ellis’s wallet?”

“Well... it was kinda boring, tah be honest. It was jus’ weird pieces of green paper an’ some flat bits of plastic.” She said, feeling sorry for not appreciating the human’s thoughtfulness enough. “But ah did find a cool picture!”

She trotted over to her nightstand and picked up the photo with her teeth. Applejack met her halfway to see what she had acquired.

It was a photo alright. She studied it with interest as Apple Bloom held it steady between her lips. She could recognize Ellis in it, but there was another human next to him.

“It’s Ellis an’ his friend, ah think!”

Applejack had an idea of who it was. The “Keith” fellow that the human constantly talked about. She’s heard countless stories of him and how he gets brutalized within an inch of his life almost every other day. Ellis talked about his like he was an authentic friend. From the look of the photo, they looked happy together. Keith must have unnatural tolerance for Ellis’s antics.

“That other human’s name is Keith. Ellis talks about him a lot.”

“Keith?” Apple Bloom repeated. “Humans have weird names. What do you think his special talent is?”

“Indestructibility, probably.”

“But... if this is his best friend, wah didn’t he come to Equestria with Ellis?”

At first, Applejack merely regarded the question with a simple shrug, leaving Apple Bloom to think it over on her own. The elder sister said goodbye and left her little sister to her artistic hobby. As she walked down the hallway to finally head out into the grove and do an honest day’s work, the question precipitously came up in her thought process again.

What happened to Keith?

Ellis loved talking about him, but when he was telling the farmpony about his time during the apocalypse, he only mentioned his other friends. Keith never came up. What happened to him?

Was he dead?

Applejack quickly shoved the whole thought process out of her mind. Ellis always referred to Keith in present tense, which means he’s still alive. Did they go separate ways? Not likely... she couldn’t find a reason why they would break their close lifetime friendship so willingly. It just didn’t make sense...

Applejack donned her yoke and hitched the apple cart containing stacks of wooden buckets. Exiting the cool shade of the barn, she trudged out into Celestia’s solar warmth and headed to the path that traversed the rolling hills covered in countless apple trees. There was plenty of work to be done, and the world waited for nopony. The questions she had unwittingly instated into her mind still nagged at her. She found herself drumming up possibilities and scenarios. Maybe he was away on vacation? Did he move out from Savannah?

Did he not survive?

Her heart skipped a beat. She nearly forgot to breath and stumbled to the ground, cart still in haul, staring blankly at the sun-baked dust that caked the dirt path. She has never... never considered death to be a possibility. Not once. Not even on her worst days. And it just came up in her mind twice.

“What the hay is wrong with me?” All of Ellis’s talks about death and blood and killing must be getting to her nerves. Not even the most dismal of Equestrian fiction has ever gone that dark. She once read a horror story about zombies. Undead ponies that shambled slowly to an isolated farm, where the protagonist had to survive and find a magical cure to end the infestation. As a filly, the book gave her nightmares. For a good week, she trembled under her bedsheets and took wary glances outside the window. Now that she was older and more mature, those stories seemed like a load of hogwash. They were cheesy and entirely implausible. The story even had a happy end; all the ponies were cured and they returned home to their families.

Ellis’s story had no happy end. Thousand of humans, infected and roaming for flesh. There was no cure. He had implicitly mentioned so by telling her that the people he called “The Military” switched to a final solution and began dropping explosives from metal fliers onto the plagued cities. None of them got better. None of them went home to their families. They were already dead to the rest of the world. Applejack told Ellis to stop at that point in his story, and he kindly obeyed. She couldn’t bear to hear any more. Such depressing news from such a carefree person. He explained it all as if it was as tragic as a small foal’s sandcastle had been wrecked by a strong gust of wind. He didn’t seemed phased by the fact that a population of humans that outnumbered Equestrians several times over slowly became mindless killers and lost all of their identity. Was death such a common thing for him that it just didn’t matter? Was his home so utterly dystopian that he just accepted those abhorrent atrocities as a fact of life?

He was an enigma. Applejack’s mind still churned as she instinctually clopped to her destination. She couldn’t figure out how he could be so kind, cheerful, humorous after all that. His given insight only made it more puzzling. She tried to imagine what she would feel in that sort of situation in an attempt to further understand. She tried to imagine all of Ponyville getting violently sick, slowly losing their intelligence. She thought of the royal guard blockading the traveling routes to all other pony settlements, letting nopony get in or out for a reason they would not disclose. She thought of her friends... oh Celestia...

Applejack hurriedly unhitched herself from the cart and removed her yoke in a blur of motion. She drug a stack of collection buckets and hastily placed them around the first tree of the day. The apples all seem to hang heavy and expectant. She stopped, trying to collect herself and silence her horrific imaginings. Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Dash, Rarity... she couldn’t imagine losing them. They were a second family to her. She owed it to herself to always think well of them... always think well of them...

The images came. She couldn’t hold them back. It was like a dangerous overflow of water splashing over the rim of a tense and crumbling dam. She imagined Rainbow Dash moving toward her, not as a friend who wants to talk about her day or ask her to hang out, but as a mindless creature who was not Dash, one that only moaned for her flesh. Dash was gone...

Applejack felt hot tears well up on the bottom of her eyelids. She tried to think of something else. Something pleasant and saccharine. Twilight! She pictured Twilight humming growling a cheerful tune as she diligently hungrily rearranged some books on her library shelves eyes glazed over and bloodshot, empty of the bright and wonderful shine that once existed behind them.

She gasped as she bucked the tree much harder than she intended. The bark chipped and flew off like shrapnel. The red and yellow fruits loosened and dropped off the branches all at once, falling into her buckets and the ground around them. She winced at the small muscle tear she acquired from that careless overexertion. Applejack strained her brow as she tried to bury the gruesome imagery being conjured up by her renegade imagination. She thought of the calm, serene scene of Fluttershy bringing a basket of carrots to feed her rabbits blood dribbling from her scarlet-stained teeth... Nononononononono...

It stuck to her mind like a viscous glue as she readied herself to harvest the next tree. She fought it. She fought the blackened pseudo-realities down with every bit of mental strength she could draw. She beat it down every inch of the way as her muscle-memory took over the repetitive task of applebucking for her. Her perception became cloudy through the blurry, tear-slick windows of her emerald eyes.

Ever so slowly, but surely, the sun sank into the horizon.

+++++

“...So, then the bridge dropped an’ we went a-runnin’. Shot a few dozen as we went, but mostly we were focused on getting to the other side.”

Despite his apprehensions, both Sawdust and Ball-Peen proved to be a fascinated audience. With open ears and wide eyes they listened to his stories between each short time they had to hammer in the shingles. For Ellis, it was mostly the short version. He left out a lot of the stuff that Applejack was really uncomfortable with when he told it to her. Not a lot of good things to say about a zombie apocalypse, that’s for sure.

“So, we stopped tah rest about halfway through when yet another Tank came ‘long. This one was a mean one. We all poured the heat on ‘im, but then, fer whatever reason, he came after me. Ah dropped mah rifle an’ ran fer mah life. Ah don’ know exactly what happened, but there was an explosion an’ ah was thrown off the bridge.”

“What happened next?” Ball-Peen asked, absorbed in the human’s saga. He asked the most questions of the two. Ellis may have finally brought the timid pegasus out of his shell.

“Ah honestly don’t know. Ah... remember fallin’, seeing the water, an’ the rest is just gone from mah mind. Ah wound up here, more specifically in Applejack’s grove.”

Sawdust couldn’t suspend his disbelief any longer.

“What? You’re saying you fell off a bridge and somehow ended up in Equestria?”

“Yeah. Can’t explain it. It jus’ kinda happened.”

“So you didn’t get here by a botched spell or anything?”

“Not that ah know of.”

“No space travel?”

“Nope.”

“No teleportation device?”

“No... Where the hell you goin’ with this?”

The unicorn shrugged. “Things don’t happen for no reason, man.”

“I’ve heard worse ways for something like that to happen...” Ball-Peen added.

“Well, if ah had a better explanation, ah wouldn’t withhold it.” Ellis removed another shingle from the container and gripped his hammer.

But there were no empty spaces left.

“Huh. Looks like we’re done.”

Big Boss withdrew himself once more from his frustration-thick office trailer and nearly nearly flipped at what he beheld.

“Great ‘Tia!” He exclaimed as Ellis and Sawdust made their way down the ladder while Ball-Peen floated to the ground. “Done already?!”

The ashen flyer grounded himself with a exuberant nod. The other two reached the foot of the wooden rungs and hopped off, vocalizing their confirmation.

“That was fast!” Boss complemented in the only way he could: by shouting at the top of his lungs. Ellis massaged his ringing ears “I’m real proud of you boys! Pack it up and you have the rest of day off! DISMISSED!”

The construction ponies set to putting the equipment away in the nearby carts. Ball-Peen gathered the blueprints, hammers, saws, and measuring equipment while Sawdust levitated the ladder to be tied to the horse-drawn vehicle. Ellis was about to follow them and offer his assistance when-

“ELLIS!!!”

He whirled around on one foot and faced the vociferous stallion. “Yes, Sir!”

“At ease.” Boss sighed and relaxed. “You don’t really need to call me Sir, Ellis. I apologize for all that yelling.” His sincerity put Ellis off-guard. “I’m only like that when my blood is up. You know how it is.”

“Sure...”

His eyes narrowed. Some of the earlier animosity returned. “Don’t let me catch you slacking off though.”

The human flinched, but he kept his composure for the most part. “You won’t see me doin’ any a’ that, no Sir.”

“Good. So, anyways, the mayor passed this off to me to give to you at the end of the day.” He held out a small, lumpy sack in his mouth. Ellis took the underside of the bag in his hand. It was a bag of coins by the feel. The weight surprised him.

“This is just some bits to get you started off. Since you probably don’t have any local money, this should tide you over ‘til your next payday.”

Gingerly, he opened the bag to peek at its contents. His eyes widened considerably.

“Hoh shit, man! Is this real gold?”

“Yeah, that’s what bits‘r made of.”

“Don’t ya think this is a lil’ generous? This’ll last me a year!”

Big Boss chuckled. “That’ll get you four loaves of bread and a jug of milk!”

Ellis sighed and cinched the drawstrings. “Figures...”

“You can blame it on the economy.”

Ellis gained a sudden thought, accompanied by a feeling of guilt.

“Ah don’ sit too good with taking taxpayer money, ya know?” He stuck to his family creed about no government handouts. “You gotta earn it yerself.” His mom would say. Ellis didn’t care much - money was money - but his mother drilled the mantra into his head all the same. He wouldn’t feel comfortable going back on her word.

The brown earth-pony shook his head. “This is from Miss Mare’s own trunk, Ellis. The treasury has other things to fund, like the whole rebuilding project.”

That was a bit of an astonishment. Last time he left her, she acted like she wanted nothing to do with the human. Ellis had put so much stress on her already enervated mind, but she hid her frustration from the others well. Public image must be maintained, after all, but when they were alone, the mayor nearly exploded at him. He assumed that she felt nothing but hatred in Ellis’s regard. He bounced the cloth bag in his hand a bit with a smile. “Guess she had a change a’ heart.”

“She also wants you to pay her back in full. With interest.”

“Nevermind.”

“That’s all I have for you. Good job today, by the way. You go enjoy yourself.” His expression darkened. “It’s back to the desk for me.” Big Boss trotted back to his trailer and shut the door behind him. Ellis lingered in place for a few seconds, examining the coin sack in his palm with hazy interest.

“Dude! Ellis!” Sawdust broke the human’s musing abruptly. Ellis turned to the unicorn.

“Help me with some of these! You can take the saw horses.”

“Sure thing.” He stuffed the bag in his spacious coverall pocket and hoisted the two wooden trestles under his arms. As he approached the cart, Sawdust noticed the jingling sound emanating from his pants.

“What did Big Boss want ya for?”

Ellis set the frames on the cart’s bed before answering. “The mayor gave me a little early pay. Good thing, too. Darn near completely forgot that ahm flat broke here!”

“Cool beans, man.”

The trio continued to pack away the clearing of their equipment into the two carts parked on the curb. During that process, Ellis had time to appreciate the work they completed. It seemed like months ago that the roof looked like a mangled hole, but no longer. One could hardly tell if it had been damaged at all. It was good as new. He regretted not taking before-and-after pictures.

“Hey, Ellis.” Sawdust got his attention after they loaded everything up. “What are you gonna do now?”

“I dunno. I guess I’ll head on back tah AJ’s farm.”

“Aw, come on, man! The day’s still young, and you haven’t been around Ponyville that much! We’re not letting you go after that story you told us. You can hang out with us for the rest of the day.”

Ellis shifted on his feet. “I guess ah could.” He honestly liked the two co-workers, but he couldn’t help the feeling of apprehension that crept into his head. Why did it feel like he was doing something wrong? Applejack wouldn’t expect him for the rest of the day, and she would probably understand if he wanted to do a few things on his own. He shouldn’t be feeling bad for spending some time away from her. He felt like he owed her something. Maybe another story from Savannah. He could tell her the “remote-controlled plane and bottle-rocket” story to make up. Oh man, that one brought a grin to his face.

“Awesome.” Ball-Peen, back from returning the blueprints to the office trailer, flew up beside Sawdust.

“Hey Peen.” The unicorn hailed. “We’re gonna go out into town. Ellis is coming with us.”

“He is?” The younger pegasus became more enthusiastic than Ellis had seen him all day. “What are we doing first?”

Sawdust pondered for a moment. “I have no idea.”

They all sat in silence.

“Bowling?” Suggested Ball-Peen.

“Bowling?” Repeated Ellis.

“Bowling?” Re-enunciated Sawdust.

Ellis nodded his head. “Bowling.”

“Bowling?!”

“Bowling.” Sawdust agreed.

They all paused and looked at each other.

“BOWLIINGGG!” They cheered in unison.

+++++

A cacophonous clatter resonated throughout the building, accompanied by other similar sounds coming from the other lanes. Ellis frowned. Another split. It was like he was cursed or something. His second try left two pins un-knocked.

“Bummer.” Sawdust said apologetically. Not a good thing coming from him. He was winning. If only his friends could see him now, being beaten at bowling by a pony. Meanwhile, Ball-Peen clutched the heavy resin-coated ball gracelessly in his hooves while balancing on his hind legs. With a soft grunt, he lightly tossed his ball forward. It glided forward on the slick course for a few feet, then promptly veered off into the gutter. The pegasus sighed. Ellis was thankful he wasn’t in dead last.

“Man, ah haven’t gone bowling in so long. The alley in Savannah’s only open in the fall an’ winter time. Ah never knew exactly why, it was a family-owned alley an’ they went somewhere else during the summer, or somethin’.” The pins on the end of the lane were magically reset and Ball-Peen’s ball ejected from a chute into a holding crevice, clacking next to Sawdust’s and Ellis’s.

“This place is open all year round, except a week or two during the holidays. It’s me an Peen’s favorite spot to hang out.” The construction unicorn stood up and claimed his ball with his orange-colored magic. To Ellis, it didn’t seem fair to other ponies that he had magic and they had to use their hooves in several awkward fashions. It was more for the socializing rather than the playing, really, and the pegasus didn’t seem to mind.

“How long have you two known each other?” Ellis asked as Sawdust blasted away another spare. He penciled in the score on the score card.

“Me and him? Only a few years, when we started working for Big Boss. He’s a bit of a shut-in, if you haven’t already guessed.”

“I’m right here, man.” He called from the seat next to his friend.

“And I’m right here.” Sawdust gestured to all of himself like it was a catchphrase shared between the two. He turned back to Ellis. “It took a while, but he’s a good guy to be friends with. He’s just short for words.”

Ellis nodded. “It’s nice to be working with both of ya. Couldn’t have asked for a better job.”

“What about Applejack’s farm?”

“Well, tah be honest, ah probably would have gotten sick a’ apples if ah went with that.”

“Fair ‘nuff.”

Ellis stood up and grabbed his ball by the finger-holes. He stopped himself as a question hit him like a truck.

“Hey, why do these have holes fer yer fingers if y’all have hooves?”

Sawdust shook his head. “It’s not a very good idea to ask those kinda questions.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because you’ll probably end up like Lyra.”

Let it be known that, on that rapturous day, someone (more specifically somepony) successfully gave Ellis a good reason to stop talking.

The human line up his feet, took a fluid step forward, swung the weighty orb in an arc behind his back, and jumped as a sudden sound jarred him out of concentration just as he released the ball.

“IT’S HIM!!!” Shouted two young, girly voices. The ball plunked into the side-canal. Ellis groaned and turned around.

Two little fillies stared in awe of the tall figure with their shimmering, saucer-like eyes. It was a alabaster unicorn with multi-colored, curly hair. The other was an orange pegasus with purple hair and chicken-sized wings. Ellis had not seen them before.

“You’re the new ‘human’ guy!” Said the orange one.

“Apple Bloom told us about you!” The other one squeaked. “She said you were a cool alien that fought monsters and stuff.”

Ellis shrugged. “Close enough.”

“I’m Scootaloo.”

“And I’m Sweetie Belle!”

“Nice tah meet ya.” He bent down and took each of their tiny hooves in his thumb and index finger and gave it a soft wiggle. “So yer Apple Bloom’s friends? Ah think she may have mentioned ya once ‘er twice.”

In reality, Apple Bloom spoke about them non-stop for about an hour, going on about their adventures and mishaps. Ellis kinda spaced out for most of that, but hey, who could blame him for trying?

“Oh, hello there.” Said a more mature voice behind the two fillies. A dark-purple mare trotted up to Ellis’s eye level. “They’re with me. I’m Cheerilee, their school teacher.”

“Pleasure to meet ya too, ma’am.” Ellis decided that he liked Cheerilee. She had a friendly smile and a calm voice, even when she had two hyperactive children under her watch.

“I’m just chaperoning these two while we go bowling. They can’t be here on their own anymore.” She shot a glare a Scootaloo, who shrank with a guilty smile.

“I’m actually glad I had the chance to meet you, Ellis. I’ve heard about you. Things like this don’t really happen in Ponyville very often.”

“Have you met Rainbow Dash yet?” Pipped the tiny pegasus. “Isn’t she awesome?”

“Yeah, she tried to eat mah hand an’ gave me a good run through the town.” Ellis thought, but did not vocalize. Instead, he nodded and turned back to Cheerilee.

“So, did ya wanna ask me a few questions?” Ellis could assume as much. Almost everybody - no... - everypony he met so far were not short on trivia. He might as well pick up the local pronouns while he was at it.

“I have a few, but It can wait until you’re done with your game.” She pointed her hoof at Ellis’s lane. Sawdust and Ball-Peen were waiting impatiently for him to take his turn.

“Oh! Right!” He bounded off to make his throw. Cheerilee called after him.

“I’ll be over at the far lane! I look forward to talking to you!”

Stupid is as Ellis Does

A rapid knock came from the cottage door. Fluttershy was shocked out of her reminiscing like a splash of cold water to the face. Quickly, but carefully, she closed her precious iron locket and tucked it away in the folds of her pink mane. Out of sight, but still on her person at all times. She hurried to her door and turned the knob...

“HI, FLUTTERSHY!!!” Pinkie Pie, abrasive and vociferous as always, sported an ear-to-ear grin and a pink envelope between her teeth.

“Oh... hi Pinkie Pie.” The canary pegasus whispered.

“I just came by because Mrs. Cake let me off the hook for now and I just wanted to give you this invitation to Ellis’s Little-Big Welcome Party! It’s my own invention ‘cuz I thought I should do something different for somepony SO DIFFERENT! And since he loves my cupcakes so much, I’m not gonna make him a cake, but a big stack of cupcakes! That’s why it’s called ‘Little-Big’ because it’s a big helping of little cupcakes...” Her voice trailed off. Fluttershy waited for her to go on, but she was only looking at her with a perplexed expression.

“Fluttershy...” She began. “Have you been crying?”

“Oh!” The caretaker exclaimed. Her eyes were red and puffy and the fuzz on her cheeks were still moist and darkened. She looked like a wreck, but she hadn’t been expecting company for the rest of the day. “It’s nothing.” Came her terse reply.

“It doesn’t look like nothing, girl!”

“I just... stubbed my hoof.”

“Ooh!” Pinkie winced for her friend. “Bummer! I hope you feel better soon, because I was gonna ask you to help me with the party preparations in Ponyville! Do you wanna come?”

She glanced back into her cottage. Nothing needed to be done for her animal friends until the next morning, so no worrying about that. Angel was napping upstairs, but he’d probably stay like that for the rest of the evening. She had no reason to stay in the melancholy of her lonely cottage.

“Sure, I’ll come help you.”

“YAY!” The sugar-fueled mare cheered. It was a good thing Fluttershy’s ears were folded.

“Oh! Just remembered!” She motioned the letter in her mouth. The pegasus took it gingerly. “It’s your super-special V.I.P. (Very Important Pony) invitation! It’s only for my bestest friends in the whole world!”

“Well thank you Pinkie, but how’s it different from the other invitations?”

“IT’S PINK!”

“...Ok.” Fluttershy exited her home and shut the door behind her. The pink party-pony was already bouncing off towards the town.

“C’mon! Time’s a-wasting!”

“Coming!” She called after and followed her friend down the road, but not before wiping her eyes of soggy irritation and checking if the locket was still in place.

+++++

“Alrighty.” Said Ellis as he seated himself on a chair across from Cheerilee. “Ask away.”

The schoolteacher began with the usual questions that everypony had asked before. Things like “Where are you from?”, “How did you get here?”, “How do you walk on two legs?”, “Can I wear your hat?”. Ellis answered these with no problem. The purple mare buzzed with well-contained exuberance. She seemed to enjoy asking questions, a contrast from always answering them for the young ones. Speaking of which, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle seemed to have gotten into a scuffle about one of them accidentally using the other’s ball.

“Settle down you two! Don’t make me assign any more homework than I have to!” Cheerilee scolded. The effect was immediate; the fillies stopped their bickering and resumed their game.

“You were sayin’, ma’am?” Ellis motioned. She collected herself.

“Uh... I forgot what I was going to ask you, but I had another question that I’ve been meaning to ask. How did you come to meet Applejack?”

He adjusted his sitting position and rested his elbow on the table in front of him. “Well, as ah said before, ah ended up in her apple orchard with a headache an’ a face-full a’ dirt. By that time, ah was kinda hungry, an’ bein’ in a field fulla apple trees, ah couldn’t pass up the opportunity. She found me sittin’ on a branch eatin’ her apples. I swear, if ah knew ah wouldn’t have done it.”

She seemed to ignore his frantic assurance and instead pressed further for details on his story. “So, what happened next?”

“Well, eheh... it ain’t that important how it all went down,” He shifted in discomfort due to his injury he acquired from Applejack. “But we walked on back to her barn and...” He paused, unsure of exactly how much information he wanted to disclose. “And... well... I’m sure that whole thing yesterday kin fill ya in.”

“Hmm. I wasn’t in town that day. I was grading papers at the schoolhouse, but I heard of it from my sister. I didn’t believe her.”

“Did ya come to that meeting tah find out?”

“No. Didn’t bother.”

“Why not?”

“You haven’t met my sister...” Cheerilee gave a frustrated huff. “It’s lucky, though, that you managed to meet the Elements first. Believe it or not, they’re probably the most sensible ponies in this town. Couldn’t imagine what it would be like if you got roped with-”

Ellis suddenly raised his hand, signaling a full stop to the conversation.

“Hold up now. What did ya call ‘em?”

“The Elements? The Elements of Harmony? Didn’t they tell you all about that?”

“‘Bout what?” Ellis had not even caught the slightest hint of the word “Elements” coming from Twilight or Applejack. By Cheerilee’s tone of voice, it sounded important.

“Twilight and her five friends are the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, a power created and sanctioned by the Alicorn Sisters themselves! They used the Elements to defeat Nightmare Moon and Discord!”

“Who?” Ellis replied, still not registering any of it.

“Did they really not tell you? Those six mares are probably the most important ponies in Equestria! They saved it twice using the Magic of Friendship!”

Ellis burst into a snickering fit.

“What? You don’t believe me?!” Cheerilee, at this point, was rapidly approaching full hysteria.

“Ma’am, no ‘fence, but just about everything ah’ve come across in this place is unbelievable. Ahm darn-near tired of constantly questioning mah notions of reality, so ah jus’ accept whatever ahm told. Lot easier that way.” He leaned back in his chair. “Ah take yer word for it, Miss Cheerilee, ah just thought the whole ‘Magic of Friendship’ thing sounded silly. Just one thing ah’d like tah ask: If Applejack and her friends are so darned important, why don’t they get much attention all the time?”

“Well, first of all, they’re guardians, not celebrities. Also, when there’s no impending doom, they’re just normal ponies and they go about their lives in their own way. Most Equestrians respect their distances and leave them be.” Cheerilee glanced over to the Crusaders’ alley. Sweetie Belle was using her hoof and a soft cloth to spit-shine her ball. She grinned and made several comical faces in the ball’s reflective surface. Where was Scootaloo?

“That would make sense. Tah tell ya the truth, if that were me, ah would like all that extra atten-” His speaking was abruptly cut off as an orange blur came up from behind and latched on to the back of his head.

“Gotcha!” Giggled Scootaloo playfully. But Ellis reacted in a way that nopony would have expected.

“JOCKEY! JOCKEY ON ME!!!” He shot up in his seat, knocking it backwards, attempting to tear the filly from his skull. Scootaloo’s childish glee quickly transitioned into panic. She clung for dear life among the swaying, stumbling movements of the tall biped. It just so happened that she held on in such a way that it impaired Ellis’s vision. Cheerilee gasped. Everypony in the alley turned their heads to the commotion.

“GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF!!!” His inner-ear functions went into overdrive as his feet took him in whatever direction required to balance himself. His rational thought had yet to catch up with him. Blinded, his imagination conjured images of his time back in southern America. He saw himself being ridden towards everything: from fire to acid, from fatal falls to a horde of angry zombies. Meanwhile, Scootaloo, still frozen in fear, did the first thing any pegasus would do when in danger. She fluttered her tiny wings as rapidly as she could, propelling her and Ellis backward.

“GET THE FREAKIN’ THING OFF MY BA- Whoa!” His legs caught on a low rail and he and his assailant went tumbling head over heels. He landed painfully on the ground.

+++++

“And what do you have to say for yourself?” Cheerilee chided, glaring to convey disappointment rather than anger. As a teacher, she learned that it helped children learn from their mistakes. Scootaloo fidgeted in place, eyes to the ground. She brought her head up slowly, attempting to meet her teacher’s scowling gaze. She opened her mouth and tried to force the words out without choking up. It took her a hoof-full of seconds before it came out in quiet croak.

“I’m... I-I’m sorry...”

“At least she regrets it.” Thought Cheerilee. The ruckus she cause brought the manager out of his office. He was disconcerted, to say the least. She had to explain the whole thing while most of the patrons of the alley looked at her and whispered behind her back. What they said she didn’t hear, but it definitely wasn’t something they would say to her directly. Sweetie Belle had nothing to add to the matter. She only remembered Scootaloo saying that she was going to the little filly’s room. The orange pegasus didn’t really have a reason, either. She just “thought it would’ve been funny”. Sometimes, kids do the stupidest things for reasons they could not cite. Not one of them was amused by her stunt.

Not even Ellis.

“Now apologize to him. Clearly, so everypony can hear you.”

Scootaloo craned her neck up to see the tall human’s face. He had his arms crossed and an expression of annoyance, but his cheeks were still hot. The ordeal was just as embarrassing for him as it was for her. Maybe even more. He let himself phase back to the apocalypse and made himself look like a looney. Lucky for him, Cheerilee was so preoccupied with reprimanding her student that she didn’t bother to ask why he reacted in such a way. He may have mentioned what exactly Jockeys are to Sawdust and Ball-Peen, so they might understand. Probably not, though. As beasts of burden by nature, they probably couldn’t comprehend just how jarring it is to have something suddenly hop on your back. It ain’t right for a man to be ridden like that...

“I’m sorry.” Were the words she pushed through her quivering lips. Ellis nodded.

“Jus’ don’t do that again, kay?”

“Ok...” Scootaloo let her eyes return to the ground.

Ellis released a loud huff. He dismally surmised that, when he became an old man, he would be one of those unapproachable war veterans that would have occasional episodes and convince themselves that they were still fighting the Charlies. Like his grandpa.

“Don’t think for a second that you’re coming back here anytime soon.” Cheerilee added. “You were in enough trouble as it was. You’d be lucky if you could come back here at all.”

“Ok...” She squeaked.

Ellis returned to his lane where his co-workers were sitting at the bench, waiting for the human’s return. He waved as he approached. Ball-Peen scooched over to make room for him as he sat down.

“Sorry ‘bout that. I really thought ah wouldn’t have to deal with any a’ that anymore.”

Sawdust leaned over. “So... that was-”

“Let’s just ferget about, ok?”

The unicorn raised his hooves in a gesture of non-apprehension and didn’t press the matter any further.

“What now?” Asked Ball-Peen.

Ellis was the first to reply. “I’m tuckered after that whole deal. Ah think it’s time fer me to head back to AJ’s. It was nice hanging with ya.” He lifted himself off the bench.

“Wait!” Ellis stopped at Sawdust’s request. “We were just about to head down to Rum’s place for the night.”

“What’s that?”

“Rum Run owns the tavern here. It’s called The Prancing Show-Pony, a rustic little place. Looks just like a tavern from a hundred years ago. Best place to go for a drink in Ponyville.”

Ellis blinked. “You mean you guys have alcohol here?”

“What made you think we didn’t?”

A shrug. “I dunno.”

“Well, do you wanna come with? I’m sure Applejack won’t miss you too much.”

It seemed to be a very likeable idea to him. An evening at the bar, hanging out with his new friends, and having a taste of the local brew while he was at it. That last prospect was irresistibly tantalizing. Since it came up in his mind, he was dying to know what beer made by ponies tasted like. Hopefully not like horse feed. But, as he contemplated it further, that guilty feeling came up again. He feared that Applejack, his gracious host, would not agree with it. To be fair, Ellis hasn’t known her for long, but his gut told him he would be letting her down somehow.

“Well,” He thought. “We didn’t exactly agree on a time, jus’ as long as ah get back there.” An acceptable justification. If it really started to bother him, then he could always leave and head down the road to Sweet Apple Acres.

“Ah think ahm down.”

Sawdust grinned at his answer. “Awesome. Let’s give the house balls back and head out. It’s not too far.”

After returning the heavy bowling balls to the rack, the trio began to head for the door. Through the transparent surface of the glass door, the sun’s radiance was slowly transitioning to an orange glow as it sank into the distant mountains. Shadows grew longer, the air became cooler. The bustle of the streets was gradually waning. Ponies began returning to their homes for supper and a good night’s sleep. Sawdust pushed the door open for his friends, Ball-Peen quietly thanking him with a mutter and a nod. Ellis was about to head out the door with them when Cheerilee caught up with him.

“Ellis!”

He turned around. “Oh, hey! What’s up?”

She came to an awkward stop right in front of his legs. “I just wanted to thank you for the chat, and also apologize for the mess Scootaloo made.”

“It’s all behind us now, ma’am.”

“It was nice talking to you, we should do it again sometime. Where are you heading now?”

He pointed his thumb back at Sawdust, who was still holding the door, allowing a cool breeze to invade the alley. “Me an’ the guys’r going out to the bar.”

“Which one?”

“Prancing Show-Pony, ‘er something.” He turn back to the unicorn. “Right?”

He nodded.

“Yeah, that one.”

“The rough and rowdy tavern where everypony consumes irresponsible amounts of alcohol and makes foals of themselves?”

“Uh... I think so.”

Her expression deadpanned. “Say hi to my sister for me...”

+++++

After a short, calm stroll through the streets of Ponyville (no running and chasing this time), they arrived at the tavern. Sawdust wasn’t kidding when he said it was rustic. A creaking wooden sign hung above the wooden door, gently swinging in the soft wind. It proclaimed the name of the establishment in archaic Equestrian lettering, which Ellis couldn’t read, of course, paired with a silhouette of a rearing earth-pony. The building itself was made from aged, but dense and robust wood. Warm candlelight flickered in the imperfect surface of the windows. Thumps of hooves on the hollow wooden floor could be heard even from outside, accompanied by the occasional burst of baritone laughter.

“Here we are, dudes.” Said the ochre unicorn.

Upon ascending the steps and pushing the door open, they were greeted by a number of heads turning their way. There was a few quiet gasps when some laid eyes on Ellis, but not enough attention was drawn to deter the clamorous ambiance. The interior looked cozy and inviting. In one end of the room was a burning hearth, which cast an orange glow. The floors, just like the walls outside, were sturdy, yet weathered. Oak tables of non-matching shapes and sizes were strewn artlessly across the floor. Ponies of all colors and professions either sat with their haunches on the floor or in low chairs. Iron-bound wooden tankards with handles big enough to fit a pony’s hoof through were tipped to the mouths of the merry drinkers while they spun out stories and dirty jokes. Oh look. There’s that brown, hourglass-cutie-mark colt again. That makes, what, sixteen times?

From behind the counter came a wave to the construction workers. Said welcomer was the bartender, Rum Run. She was a mid-aged mare, though a bit younger than the mayor. She had perky eyes, the color of her namesake. They shone with a youthful demeanor of a mare who chose to ignore the advancing of her age. Her jonquil coat was smooth and shiny. Her mane, which was a rich auburn, was fashioned into four tight braids, two on each side, matching her tail, which was one thick braid. Her cutie mark was an inverted rum bottle splashing out some of its bronze substance. Rum gave a smile, a thin line of ruby lipstick barely showing on her lips, as the three converged to the high bar stools and took their seats.

“Evenin’, mates.” She greeted. A shocking contrast to her sumptuous appearance, Rum Run had rough-and-dirty accent that hailed from the untamed Outback.

“Hey, barkeep. Brought a new patron for ya.” Saw tilted his head towards Ellis. The human was huddled over the counter, the distance between the seat and the table made to accommodate the dwarfish form of a pony. He gave a little wave. The bartender raised an eyebrow.

“My, you’re tall one. You’re also that new ‘Ellis’ fellow I’ve heard about. Of the hundreds of ponies ya could be with, how’d you get stuck with these two gits?”

“Nice to see you, too.” Sawdust sarcastically remarked.

“Ah got a job workin’ with these guys.”

“Oh. Lets hope you don’t have to be anywhere in the mornin’.”

“Tomorrow's our day off.” The unicorn interjected. “You know that, dude. We come here every week.”

“I ain’t a ‘dude’.”

“Dude, I call everypony dude. Heck, I call my mom dude.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She turned to Ellis and reached over the counter with her hoof. “I’m Rum Run.”

He took the hoof in his hand and gave a quick shake. “Ellis. Nice tah meet ya, ma’am.”

“See?” She said, looking back at Sawdust. “This here good fellow addresses me right an’ propah.”

He didn’t grace her with a response, only a roll of his eyes.

“So,” She uncorked a bottle of gin and spoke to Ellis. “What can I get ya?”

“What do ya have?”

Rum tilted the bottle to a hoof-made shotglass, carefully poured it, set the bottle down, and slid the glass across the counter to a pony to their right. He caught it with a nod of thanks.

She turn back to the human. “We have ‘bout every brain-killin’ booze under the sky, but none a’ the pansy stuff they have in Canterlot or Manehattan. Just got in a shipment of vodka, straight from Stalliongrad.”

“Ah’d rather start with the small stuff. Not much a’ hard drinker. A beer will do.”

She trotted over to a large barrel nestled in the wall’s alcove with a stein in her mouth. Placing in under a spigot, she cranked a lever, filling the container with foamy, amber liquid. She brought it back to the counter and set it in front of Ellis.

“You softies need love too, I guess. Some a’ the local brew for ya.”

Gingerly, Ellis gripped the handle and brought it up to his face. He took a long, skeptical look at the drink; sloshed it around, sniffed it. Rum Run became impatient.

“Drink the bloody thing, will ya? I haven’t been in this business for half my life to poison some random sod.”

“Sorry.” He tipped the cool drink to his mouth and took a slow swallow. The boldness of it made his eyes go wide for a moment. He set the stein down with a sigh.

“Still stronger than what ah usually drink.” He commented.

She seemed to be taken aback. “And what the hay do you drink? Water?”

“Ah can take it all right, this is just different for me. It’s like the real expensive beer.”

“I only serve quality stuff, mate. Wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t.”

“It’s good.” Ellis took another sip. “An’ it doesn’t taste like alfalfa, thank God.”

“What about you, Saw?” She addressed the unicorn.

“Probably some of the cider.” He said, staring off into space for a bit. Then, he jumped in his seat and groaned in dismay. “Crap! Forgot my coin at the alley! I need to go get it before it closes.”

“I think it’s about time you started using that brain of yours.” Teased Rum Run. Sawdust ignored her and hopped off the bar stool. He turned to Ball-Peen, who was sitting on the other side of Ellis.

“Peen, I need you to watch the big guy while I’m gone. Shouldn’t take too long.”

“Alright.” He replied, yet not really sure of himself. Sawdust took no notice and hastily left the building. A moment of silence for the three hung in the air as Ellis gradually sipped down his ale. Rum was the one to break it.

“So, Ellis,” The one in question looked at her and acknowledged her with a brief “Hmm?” “What would you call yourself?”

He set his mug down. “Uh... human. That’s what yer lookin’ fer, right?”

“Yeah, human. I just gotta know; are all humans this pansy, or is it just you?”

Ellis scowled. “I jus’ have a preference for the light stuff, ok?”

“I’ve heard that fifty bloody times before. First time we Ponyvillians get an alien and he can’t even hold his liquor. Why, I think whitey there can take more than you.” She challenged, referring, of course, to Ball-Peen. Said pegasus stiffened. He really wished Sawdust was here.

The human sized himself up to the brash bartender. “Listen, sister, ahm a big guy, an’ ah kin hold it alright. Ah kin take anything you kin throw at me.”

Rum Run cocked a mischievous grin. “That so?”

+++++

Since time immemorial, labor has always been the well-known creed of the earth-ponies. It was a part of them as strongest and most enduring of the three races of Equestria, and they took pride in it. They were not able to fly or use magic like pegasi and unicorns, but this did not put them at a disadvantage. They earned and maintained their equality through the sweat of their brows and their near kinship with all things that grew in the ground. Ask any earth-pony elder and he would tell you the same saying, word for word, that had been chanted by their ancestors for as far as anypony could remember:

Work is the greatest consultation to the soul. It hardens the hooves and strengthens the bones. It burns the idleness from the muscle and cleans the mind of doubt. Work gives purpose to a pony; with purpose comes accomplishment; with accomplishment comes happiness, and happiness is the key to a long life. Those who work hard shall live it well.

Applejack did not feel consoled. She did not feel strong. She did not feel clean or accomplished or cathartic.

She did not feel happy.

Empty eyes fixed to the dirt, Applejack limped towards the farm with a full cart in haul. The wooden wheel hit a small divot, causing the cart to bump. The orange earth-pony grunted as a lance of stinging pain stabbed her legs. A group of apples tumbled out of their buckets, but she didn’t even notice the lengthy trail of apples she was carelessly leaving behind. She merely continued to trudge on thoughtlessly, with the occasional shimmering droplet falling from the rivers on her cheeks.

Applejack could not recall exactly when she gave up. Maybe when fighting the nightmarish visions became too much. Maybe it was when she hadn’t the constitution left to stop them. Maybe it was when she realized that, the more she fought, the faster they came, so she accepted the hopelessness of her efforts. Whatever the reason, the haggard mare allowed the corruption to invade her mind. Each image of horror and butchery struck her mind until she was numb; until her conscience was saturated with blood, grim, spittle, and vomit. They all blurred together into a thick screen of revulsion and gore-filled profanity. And all she could do was work. The instinctual action that has been carved into her very bones from years of her routine. Her mind was too chaotic to think. She could hardly remember what her friends looked like back when they were alive...

Applejack blinked away the blurriness of her vision, inhaling a cool gasp of reality before expelling it in a moaning sob. They were still alive. Right? Right? She was not sure. The white-hot malevolence had charred every corner of her brain, leaving nothing but a blackened blemish on her innocent mind, so utterly undeserving of this torment. For a while she could not feel anything but pain and sorrow.

Now, she could not feel anything at all.

After what seemed like several eternities, she arrived at her destination, the barn. The doors already swung wide open, Applejack carried her burden inside and unhitched the cart. She failed to hang her yoke on the wall mount; it thumped to the ground and tossed dust into the air. She didn’t care. She was too tired to care.

It was only when she reached the front door of her house when it clicked in her mind that it was already dark outside. She had ignored the passage of time during her day out in the orchard. The significance of it did not register, though. She told herself that she just worked a bit too late. Nothing unheard of. Applejack opened the door and hobbled inside. It was dim in the living room, but she could hear a snore and soft creaking coming from the direction of the rocking chair. She felt relieved knowing that she was not alone with her revolting thoughts. She was reminded that she had her family, her friends. They would not leave her anytime soon. It did not put her mind completely at ease. The sickening sensation of having to endure all that torture still festered inside her belly. Applejack concluded that she only needed sleep, which she hoped would be dreamless.

She was halfway across the room, planning on heading upstairs, when when all the sound in the room halted abruptly. The earth-pony stopped in her tracks. The snoring and the creaking were absent, which could have only meant one thing.

“Sweetie, yer late. Ya missed supper.”

Applejack lowered her head. “Ah know, Granny.”

“Ah slave away all evenin’ cookin’ a good meal for ya, an’ you think dem apples are more ‘portant than yer poor ol’ granny?”

A tear dripped off her fur. She tried not to choke up. “A-ahm sorry, Granny.”

There was a silence, only filled with Applejack giving an occasional sniff. It may have been dark, but she could make out the outline of her wizened features straining to get at look at her grandchild. She could not see her expression.

“Applejack, what’s th’ matter?” She asked, all traces of disappointment and scorn gone, replaced only with worry.

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong-”

“Dooohhn’t you give me that hogwash! Yer mah Lil’ Cauliflower an’ ah know you like the backside a’ mah hoof!” Her chair could be heard squeaking forward. “Mah eyesight’s not what it used to be, an’ it’s darker than th’ underside of a rock in Everfree yonder, but ah know when you’re feelin’ down ‘cuz ah feel it in mah heart! Right now, it’s achin’ somethin’ fierce, so tell me what’s goin’ on.”

Applejack looked away and clenched her eyes shut. “It’s somethin’ between me an’ mahself, Granny. No n-need to be c-concerned.”

Granny Smith sighed and slid off her rocking chair. Without hurry, she walked up to her granddaughter and gently lifted her chin with her withered hoof. Her green eyes were stained pink. The lines that dictated the path of her tears were clearly visible and it was apparent that she just let them run free off her face. Thin mucus trailed down from her nostrils. Applejack struggled to maintain her breathing. She hated being seen like this; not full of pride and confidence, but weakness and despondency. There was no way her image of strength and independence could be kept with crying eyes.

“Dearie, there ain’t no such thing as you an’ yerself. You got a granny who’s loved ya from the day you were born. Ya have a big brother who’d never think twice tah help ya when ya need it. Ya have a sister who’s always happy tah see you. Ya have five of the nicest girls in all a’ Equestria tah call yer friends. We love ya with all our might, Applejack. Sometimes, it’s hard tah see how that would help with yer troubles, but jus’ never ferget that there are plenty a’ ponies who care ‘bout you.”

The orange pony threw her hooves around her grandma and hugged her tightly, nearly knocking the wind out of her.

“Ah love you, Granny. Ah love ya... Ah love ya...” She held on like she feared that her benevolent guardian would be swept away at any time. The floodgates opened.

“Ah love ya too, Sweetie. Ah always will.”

Applejack continued to sob softly on Granny Smith’s wrinkled shoulder, letting the moment pass wordlessly in the darkness. The matriarch patiently held her cherished grandchild in her forearms and gave her all the time she needed. When her racking body finally calmed enough, Granny broke the silence.

“Don’t ever be afraid tah share yer troubles once a while, sugarcube. Sometimes, jus’ talkin’ tah ponies kin make ya feel right as rain.”

The cowpony gazed up with her blurry irises. She wanted to speak, but she could not find the proper words. Her grandma took the chance to talk instead.

“‘Sides, ya have that Ellis fellow, too. He seem like the kind tah talk to.”

Applejack’s lids flew wide open.

“Ellis? Where is he? Is he back yet?!”

Granny scratched her chin. “Ah don’t think so. There’d be a lot more noise comin’ from lil’ Apple Bloom if he did. She seem to think the world a’ dat stallion.” Apparently, she was still clueless to the fact that he was not a pony.

Applejack felt inexplicable terror clutch her heart. Her breath quickened. He wasn’t here. He hasn’t come back. A thought wormed into her mind. Something might have happened to him. She felt the paramount need to make sure he was alright. She couldn’t think of anything that might have happened to him, but the demons that had scourged her mind swooped at the opening, doing away with her rational thought and replacing them with harrowing and implausible conclusions. She didn’t want to lose her new friend, who deserved happiness and protections for all that he’s endured. Applejack was panting feverishly now.

“Oh ‘Tia... Oh ‘Tia... Oh ‘Tia...”

Granny Smith was confused. “Hold up, now! Where’s the fire?”

Fire?! An atrocious vision of Ellis being immolated into a charred corpse inside of a burning build conjured itself in her mind, all the while screaming in agony. Obsidian banshees cackled upon their twisted perches, watching, drinking in his suffering for their own evil amusement. Applejack’s worst apprehensions reignited, but so did her energy and determination. She grinded her teeth together. She would not allow anything to happen to him!

Without another word, she bolted out the front door and galloped down the path that led to Ponyville, leaving Granny in a daze among the turbulent gust that her grandchild just created. She went to the door and tried to call out to Applejack.

“Wait! There ain’t no need for frettin’! Come back here!”

She couldn’t hear her. She had already sprinted a lengthy distance between her and the house. Her soaked cheeks stung in the whipping wind. Eyes only looking forward, set on her lantern-lit destination, she ran on.

“Ahm-a comin’, Ellis! Don’t you worry! Everythin’ will be fine!” She yelled those words so she can hear herself say them, and prayed to Celestia that they were true.

+++++

Sawdust entered the tavern once more, now with the inclusion of his coin purse. Getting it back had been relatively short and not too frustrating. The owner was just about to lock up when he got there, but he was a reasonable pony, so he let Sawdust run inside and get his belongings without a question. He was thankful that karma had blessed him once again.

Upon walking in the door, it seemed that the merriment had reached full swing for the bar. The general air seemed charged with enthusiasm and the auditory ambiance was so loud that one had to shout to be heard. What put him off guard, though, was that Ball-Peen was waiting for him inside the door. His anxiety was plain to Sawdust.

“Peen? What’s up?” He vocalized over the dense noise of the room.

“Well... uh... we kinda got a problem.”

The problem became apparent with only a quick glance to the human sitting at the counter. His voice stood out from the others, since it was probably the heaviest southern accent in the room. His cheeks were pink and he swayed in his seat, a glass of sloshing whiskey held under his palm as he regained his compromised balance. An idiotic smile plastered itself on his face as he rambled on with the bartender.

“So you ever play Team Fortress 2? Awesome game-” His body convulsed slightly with a muffled hiccup, then he continued. “You kinda remind me a' the Sniper. Alls ya need is a hat an’ a vest. You’d be a perfect match.” He knocked back the rest of his drink and slammed it back down with a cough, followed by wheezing laughter. Rum Run had no idea what he was talking about, nor anything that he had said before, but she didn’t mind. She was too busy relishing in the glow of yet another flawless victory.

“What the hay happened, Peen?!” Sawdust exclaimed.

Ball-Peen shifted uncomfortably on his hooves. “Well, Rum Run gave Ellis a few free drinks to see how much a human could take. Turns out... not a lot.”

Both turned back to Ellis, who had an equally intoxicated purple mare careening in his arm on the seat next to him. The pair were engaged in an abysmally deep philosophical debate on the subject of the connotations of love and beauty, the likes of which had not been known for centuries since the legendary unicorn scholars of the Pre-Classical Era. Alas, our myopic, unsophisticated comprehension of linguistics and subtlety could only perceive these groundbreaking revelations as the following:

“Yer sexy.”

“No, you’re secshy!” Berry Punch slurred back.

“No, ah think yer the one that's sexy!”

“My sexynessh levels are not as good as yoursh.”

“Ah think you may be *hic!* slightly more sexy than me...” So on, so forth.

Sawdust could not be any more exasperated. “Dude! I was only gone for thirty minutes!”

“Yeah, and he’s only had three glasses so far.” He responded phlegmatically.

“You were supposed to watch him! Why didn't you stop Rum?”

Ball-Peen hesitated. His eyes darted around.

“Uh... well...” The achromatic pegasus stuttered. “Ya know... she’s not very approachable... ya know? And...” He trailed off, but Sawdust spied the redness surfacing on his face. Realization dawned upon him.

“Oh hay-freakin’-no, Peen! Don’t tell me that you have the hots for Rum Run!”

“What?! No!” He broke eye contact. “Well... maybe just a little...”

He was not convinced for a second. “Dude, she’s like... 20 years older than you!”

Ball-Peen stood there for a long time, looking at the ground, then to his friend, then back to the ground, then to his friend once more.

“Does that... does that really matter?”

“Oh forget it.” Sawdust pushed past him and strode to the bar where Ellis was blundering. He took his seat next to the human, clearing his throat.

“Hey Ellis.”

Ellis swung around in his chair and grinned at the sight of his friend.

“Saw! How ya been doing?”

“Been better.” He replied.

“That’s great...” He tipped his glass up, but when nothing touched his tongue, he squinted into his raised shot glass and set it back down on the counter with an expectant look to Rum. She kindly obeyed with a smirk, pouring him another fill of whiskey. “Thank ya kindly.” He said before taking another drink.

“Your friend made a mule of himself, thinkin’ he could best me.” Rum Run boasted to Sawdust. He glared at the bartender, but let her continue. “Stinking drunk from the first three drinks. That’s almost a new record.”

“Hey!” Ellis spoke up. “I ain’t ‘too drunk’ ‘til ahm dead, kay?”

“Sure... sure...”

“How could you do this to me, Rum?” Sawdust complained. “I keep myself in good standing, I pay my tab, I don’t cause trouble... Then, I turn around for half-a-freakin’-hour, and what happens? You get the first human in Equestria’s head up his plot.”

“Oh no, oh no. He did that all by himself.”

“You provoked him!”

“I’m jus’ the barkeep, mate. I only gave him the drink, made a recommendation or two.”

“Well now we have to deal with him, so thanks a lot.” He snorted.

“Oh don’t be so glum. He’s doin’ fine so far, jus’ been sittin’ here chatting with that lovely mare.” She began wiping the counter with a moist cloth. Nearby, Ellis had resumed his conversation with Berry Punch, same subject. They were both starting to use terms like “times infinity” and “infinity plus one”. Ball-Peen, by this time, had quietly crept up and taken his place beside Sawdust. The timid pegasus gave a meek wave to Rum Run. She, in turn, gave him a wink.

Sawdust glanced about. “Has he said anything, ya know, strange or scary?”

The bartender displayed bemusement. “Strange, yes. He’s been talking nonstop ‘bout Celestia-knows-what. Scary? I don’t think I could even take the bloke seriously. Why do you ask?”

He sighed in relief. “Forget it. Can I get a cider now?”

“Comin’ right up, Ace.”

The unicorn received his mug shortly, topped with hay-colored froth. Contouring his foreleg around the tankard, he raised it to his lips. All of the sudden, Ellis sat up in his stool as if he had just been smacked hard with recollection. He nearly fell out of his seat. Sawdust coughed up the cider that he swallowed too forcefully due to the human’s impulsive action.

“Ah jus’ remembered!” Ellis exclaimed.

Half a dozen ponies turned their heads toward him. Rum Run raised her eyebrow.

“Ah jus’ remembered the time me an’ Nick found this store a’ *hic!* moonshine in this swamp saferoom!”

Sawdust’s stomach did a flip. He knew this story, he knew how it went. He also knew that the “z-word” would come up one way or another. He was not a pony to be troubled with apprehension, quite the opposite, actually. It has always been his personal principle to not worry about the future, to relax and let the currents of time gently float him wherever fate dictated. This was an exception. He did not have to have Pinkie Senses to know that what would happened next couldn’t be any good.

“So, we found like, what, three crates of this stuff packed in the bathroom, all sittin’ in glass jars an’ shit. Nick took a couple for himself, but the rest we didn’t want tah go tah waste, see? *hic!* So what we did was we tied gas-soaked rags to them, stuffed as many as we could in a backpack, an’ took ‘em with us as ammunition. Ah got tah carry it, though. *hic!*”

Rum Run leaned in to try and get a better understanding of what he was trying to say. With more or less 25 years of experience making drinks behind the counter, she had heard some fascinating stories coming from those too inebriated to tell up from down. A story coming from a non-pony intrigued her even more. This one was certainly odd, just like his previous dribble, but for the first time since he had become consciously drunk, this actually had some coherence.

“Ya know what happened? Hunter pounced on me and tore the pack off before we got tah use any of it! He could probably smell them from a mile ‘way. Darn shame.” He looked at the mare across the counter, who had stopped idly cleaning a glass and stared back at him with stupefaction.

“Hunter?”

Ellis grumbled. “Ah jus’ gotta keep explainin’ an’ explainin’...” Slowly, and almost lethargically, he stepped off of his bar stool and shambled away with bouncing steps, thumbs in his pockets. Abruptly, he wheeled around with speeds Rum could never have expected from one with that much alcohol in his system and slammed his hands on the counter. Sawdust yelped, Berry Punch tumbled off her seat, Ball-Peen quickly dived to catch a glass that he had knocked off, and everypony in the room reared their heads to the source of the commotion. Nopony made a sound. All that could be heard was the crackling of the incandescent fire.

“Lemme tell ya what a Hunter is!” He raised his voice so everyone in the tavern could hear him. “A hunter is one mean sonuvabitch. He can leap 30 ‘er 40 feet into the air, pin you down, an’ rip yer guts out before you kin blink!” Without waiting for any sort of response, Ellis lifted his shirt for everypony to see. Some of them gasped at what they saw. Rum Run had seen lots of things in her days, but she had never been more taken aback by what she saw that night.

Scars. A messy criss-cross of puckering gouges and old lacerations covered his abdominals. It was a wonder how he could still move with that many cuts. His muscles should have all been torn beyond repair. He languidly rotated a full 360, vaunting the wounds to all of the onlookers. Even Berry Punch, still on the floor, caught a glimpse.

“Scars are sexy...” She thought quietly to herself.

“An’ that ain’t even the worst of it.”

He pulled up his pant leg to show them acid burns. “Spitter.”

He displayed the bruises on sides of his ribcage. “Charger.”

He traced a pinkish rash that circled his entire neck. “Smoker.”

“And Witch.” He grabbed the waistline of his coveralls, but then stopped himself. “...On second thought, probably better if ya didn’t see that one...”

He turned around once more and faced his captivated audience. “Now y’all may be thinkin’, ‘Ellis! Ya got more scars than th’ number a’ breaths ya took tahday! Why you still alive?’ Truth be damn-well told, ah should be dead six ‘er seven times over, but ah AIN’T!”

To escalate his speech, he bounded off and leapt up onto the nearest wooden table. The patrons sitting there jeered when their drinks were spilled. He swayed slightly on the uneven surface before continuing.

“Look at me now! Still livin’ an’ still in one piece! Ya know why? ‘Cause, them zombies, they tried tah kill me, ah jus’ killed ‘em back!” He stepped around the center of the table in his drunken showboating. “That’s right! Ahm Ellis, the one an’ only professional zombie killer! Ah take care of the monsters so y’all have a place tah come home tah,” He bent down and breathed his whiskey-saturated breath into the face of some random blue earth-pony. Said pony sunk into his seat. “So y’all don’ end up as some undead guy’s lunch.”

The pony gulped hard.

Ellis hopped off the table and took one last canter around the room. “Ah certainly don’t got nothin’ tah prove tah you folk. Ah certainly don’ gotta hold mah liquor tah show y’all that ahm ah man. Ah already paid for that with mah sweat an’ blood!”

“Imbecile!” Came a shout from the far end of the room. Everypony, Ellis included, turned their gaze to a table of four unicorns dressed in fancy clothing. From their posh appearance, all of Ponyville could immediately recognize that they are from Canterlot, more specifically, they were a group of unicorn fencers from Canterlot, ponies who used magic and traditional swordplay as their sport. The apparent leader of the group set his hat on the table and left his chair.

“You are an imbecile!” He repeated. “Ghastly creature, you may not be a pony, but you certainly are not a fighter! You lack the qualities and discipline required to even wield a weapon, let alone use one!” He addressed the rest of the room. “You don’t honestly believe him, do you? He is only a drunken foal, spouting off lies and tall tales!”

Ellis squinted to get a better look of his accuser. He was a reddish-brown unicorn with a tightly curled dark mane. In his stupor, he couldn’t clearly describe his eye color, but his cutie mark looked like two crossed sabers.

“So ya callin’ me a liar, are ya?” He challenged. The air choked with sweating tension, not a word came from the audience. The unicorn glared back at him with every bit of confidence that came with 3 gold dueling tournament medals. He was not intimidated by his size.

“I’m calling you on an outright fabrication! You insult me to say that you can ‘slay monsters’. You can barely stand!”

The mechanic narrowed his eyes. “What’s yer name?”

“Curved Swords.”

Ellis made a overly animated gesture and cupped his hand around his ear. “Didn’t catch that.”

“Curved. Swords.” He enunciated rather harshly.

“Well Mr. Swords...” He put his left foot past the right and balled his hands into fists. “If you think you kin go toe tah... hoof with me, then ah got no problem with that. We’ll see once-an’-for-all who’s right an’ who ain’t!”

Curved Swords tensed his muscles and scraped his hoof across the ground. “I accept your challenge!”

“Ellis! What the freak-all-out hay are you doing?!” Sawdust trotted up to the side of the tall human. Ready for fisticuffs, he only acknowledged his co-worker with a fleeting glance.

“Ah got this.” He said. The two brawlers began to circle each other.

“You’re drunk, man! You can’t win it!”

“That don’t matter none. Just you watch, I’ll have his ass on the floor in Ten. Seconds. Fla-”

*12 seconds later*

Ellis barely had time to give a yelp as he was tossed out the door and hit the dirt rolling. A fresh hoof-mark was stamped on his face. Standing in the doorway, Curved Swords spat on the ground in front of him and curtly turned around. The door slammed.

Coughing, he used shaky arms to roll himself onto his back and lay there, drained of the strength and motivation to get up. He merely stared into the stars, into the glowing crescent moon. He had no memory of the fight and nothing to show for it but a pounding braincage and a kicked ass. Ellis groaned and rubbed his hand over his face. The Prancing Show-Pony’s door opened once more.

“Quite a show ya put on in there, mate.” Rum Run coolly walked out of the bar and strutted around Ellis’s splayed form. “Kinda was wishing you’d put up a better fight with that stuck-up Canterlot sod, but I guess this ain’t a perfect world after all.”

He grunted.

“No, mate, think nothing of it. I like you. You’re a charming lad, a bit koo-koo, but you’re certainly the most interestin’ thing I’ve come across in a long time. Come back some other time, ok? Now, about that payment.”

She reached into his pocket and took out his pouch of gold. Opening the drawstrings, she scooped out a little more than half of its contents.

“My, my, a big tipper are we? I’m flattered.” She added the bits to her own coin purse and stepped back into the tavern. “Pleasure doin’ business with ya.”

Ellis sighed and continued to watch the somber night sky.

+++++

The oppressive stench of perspiration, clot, and tobacco mingled with the atmosphere of the confined saferoom. Howls and screeches, ever-present, pierced through the thick iron door. Ellis sat on an old, abused couch staring at his shotgun and pistols. The cushions, which had long ago lost its springiness, sank with his weight. Keith stood at the kitchen counter sorting through a large pile of miscellany for things he could use. He was speaking, a smoldering cigarette hung from his lip and bobbed with his moving mouth.

“...so then the dumb fucker tried tah grab me with his other arm, so I shot off that one too. He musta figured out he was fucked with both a’ his arms gone, so he tried leaping away. Missed by a mile and smashed his own face into a window. These zombies‘r a lot stronger, but they ain’t any smarter, ya know what ahm sayin’? Ellis?”

Ellis shook his head and cleared out of his daze. “Sorry, man, ah totally spaced out on ya.”

Keith turned back to the jumble of stuff. “S’fine. I was jus’ ramblin’ anyhow. Hey, how many do ya think ya killed?”

The grease-monkey scratched his hat. “Ah... might have lost track.”

“Me too.”

They both shared a quiet laugh, but it petered out and Keith resumed sorting. Ellis picked up one of his pistols and scrutinized it in great detail for no particular reason, only trying to pass his time while they rested and waited for another round of zombie hell. For them, it was mostly a blast. Ellis had forgotten about all of his troubles as soon as he started shooting them. Fighting for survival wasn’t so bad when you have plenty of shotgun shells and your best friend at your side. With the help of Keith, he had quickly gained all the savviness he needed to defend himself from the hordes of monsters. The special infected are really the only ones they needed to watch out for. He said it wasn’t a regular zombie infestation like in the movies or video games, and that was why. One of those things could have wiped both of them out. It was lucky that they haven’t come across anything big yet.

Suddenly, Keith’s cig flew from his mouth as he pitched over in a loud coughing fit, muffled into his sleeve. Ellis stood up. They sounded painful.

“Jesus, man, you alright?”

Keith recovered with but a moment of time, just like he always has. “Yeah, man. It’s just these damn cigarettes. I know they ain’t good for me.”

“Ya quit a long time ago. Why’d ya go an’ start again?”

He shook his head. “I used tah be a heavy smoker. Even when ah quit, a bit of it stuck with me. That kinda stuff, man, ya think it’s gone, but it ain’t. That kinda stuff never goes away...”

Ellis nodded in understanding and sat back down. “Yer gonna have a hell of a time kicking it again after this.”

“Yeah... that’s gonna be a bitch... after all this...” Keith said with his head bowed. He hoped with all of his will that his friend wouldn’t see the dark stain on his sleeve that wasn’t there before.

He yanked out two items from the pile. “Hey, Elli.” With a gentle toss, they landed on the couch next to Ellis. It was a brand-new machete and a roll of tape.

“Found this stuff here. That’ll come in handy when ya run out of bullets. Ya kin wrap that grip-tape ‘round it, too. Should hold better.”

Unsheathing the tool, Ellis keenly inspected the machine-sharpened edge. The feel of the blade felt perfect in his hand. He smiled with the anticipation of using this against the next zombie unlucky enough to get within range of him. With his friend’s advice, he covered the handle in tape. It felt like he could never let go of the gift.

“Thanks, man. Ya remembered mah birthday.” He joked.

Keith chuckled. “Merry Christmas to you, too.” He grabbed his shotgun and pumped the slide with a satisfying *clack-clack!* “You ready tah kill some som’bitches?”

He grinned with mirth as he mimicked his friend’s action with his own shotgun.

“Ah was born ready.”

+++++

“Ellis? Ellis! Sweet Celestia, where are ya?”

Applejack galloped through the dank streets, bare hooves clopping on the hard, cobbled stone. Her vision was strained. The only source of light was the dim, flickering lamps from inside the buildings overlooking the roads, the number of which decreasing as the denizens extinguished them and went to their beds to sleep. Applejack had no time for sleep, even though her limbs threatened to give at any moment.

She saw it. A shape that could only be Ellis and nothing else lying on the cold ground in front of the local tavern, alone and unmoving. Her breath caught in her throat.

“Oh mah gosh!” She rushed to his side and nudged him firmly with her front hooves. He stirred, but Applejack didn’t allow herself any relief until she was sure that he was ok.

“Ellis, please! Say somethin’! Anythin’! Please be alright!”

With agonizing slowness, Ellis brought his arm up and put his hand close to Applejack’s face. Then, he grabbed her pony nose and squeezed it twice.

“Honk honk.” He snickered.

All the worry that the orange farmpony built up climatically pancaked into plain annoyance as she caught the whiff of whiskey on him.

“Wah do ah even bother...”

Troubled So Hard

A centaur.

A fausting centaur.

Dominic was sure that fate was woven in such a manner as to mock him and his efforts.

He, as perfectly capable and willing he was to fulfill his friend’s request, denied it for the sake of her safety. He learned from the recurring patterns of the past and found that trouble always happens, one way or another, when he grants those girls their alchemical curiosities. It did not seem that way to Rainbow Dash, and forget the lack of practical application, but refusing her was probably the most difficult thing Dominic had ever done in his non-professional life. Not that he had much of a non-professional life. How could he say no to one that he owed so much? And that sad puppy-dog face that she makes. It almost made his heart want to explode.

Dominic stopped what he was doing and felt for his chest. Good, it’s still beating.

And yet it did not end right there and then. He thought it would have. He thought it was only a simple entreaty, a whim which Dash thought she could gratify by asking him. He thought that, when he said no, that would be it. He would go back to work and wouldn’t be bothered until Twilight or another one of them made their regular visit. He did not expect for Rainbow Dash to betray her own element for it. He did not expect that her ardor for hands was strong to the point of carnal lust, that she would even think about breaking into his laboratory in the middle of the night for such a ridiculous fancy!

In the end, it was not her that caused the problem. It was the unicorn, Lyra Heartstrings, who happened to intrude his home on the very same night at the very same time! He still could hardly believe it. Because of some silly and petty greed, he was almost killed and all of his work would have been destroyed with him. Because a faust-all unicorn with some sort of lifelong mental illness wanted a potion that she could have just asked for! For a small price, of course. Dominic still had a business to run. But no, she had to somehow break into his home and empty the entire fausting thing down her gullet! She very well could have died! Good riddance, he would think.

Yet she somehow survived a more-than-likely lethal ingestion of pure, concentrated natural magic.

And turned into a centaur.

What the faust.

Dominic grimaced as he recounted those embarrassing events.

Lyra grunted as her new, yet unbalanced form was thrown to the cold floor by a charging streak of technicolor. Pinned to the ground by the cyan pegasus, all six of her limbs hung in the air and her back was flat against the ground.

“What’s wrong with you?! You seriously wanted to kill us?!?!” Dash screamed in her face. Lyra cringed and shut her eyes tight. In the transformation, she had lost her horn, the source of her magic. She no longer had the upper-hoof, or in her case, since she’s a centaur now... uh... I really have no idea. To put in laconically, she was in deep dirt.

“I’m sorry, ok?! I’m sorry!” She squealed back.

“Not good enough!”

“Settle down, Rainbow Dash.” Rasped the aged alchemist. “I don’t believe she’s in any position to harm anypony. Allow me to speak to her.”

Begrudgingly, she hovered off of her and landed by her in a fashion as to blockade the narrow aisle and prevent Lyra’s escape, if she was so bold as to attempt one. She didn’t look like she could go anywhere soon. She was not yet used to her new body. The slightly-wizened earth-pony slowly stepped to the centaur’s side and craned his neck so he was face to face with her. She bit her lip in trepidation. Dominic took a deep breath...

“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW CLOSE YOU WERE TO HAVING YOUR BONES COMPLETELY LIQUIFIED AND YOUR BODY TURNED INSIDE-OUT THROUGH YOUR NOSTRILS?!?!” Lyra winced in pain. Her ears rung, but he was not done yet. “Might you have the slightest inference as to how fortunate you are to not be a bloody pile of magic-soaked meat on the floor?! That was years worth of stock potion, a potion that was only to be ingested in small, precise doses... AND YOU JUST DRANK THE ENTIRE FAUSTING THING!!!”

Her mouth hung open and her lungs seized, but she had nothing to say. The implications of what her actions might have caused were beginning to sink in. Even Rainbow Dash, who was more used to his demeanor, took a small step back in fear. Dominic snorted in unbridled anger. If his body odor made a pony heave, his breath could be used as a deadly weapon. His long, grey mane heaped itself on Lyra’s human chest and the floor beside her.

“How you are not utterly and absolutely dead is a mystery to me, child. Count yourself as one of the luckiest things to grace this planet.”

“S-sorry...?”

“YOU SHOULD VERY WELL BE SORRY! This is where your luck runs out and your punishment begins!”

Her eyes, so small now compared to what they used to be, began to water. “W-what are you g-going to do?”

“Nothing.” He stated bluntly and withdrew himself from her face. “I think living with the results of your recklessness is enough.”

“Wait, what?!”

Dominic slowed his breathing to a more comfortable pace before continuing. “You may not be dead, but with the amount of potion you took, your transformed self will not be going away anytime soon.”

“But... don’t you have...”

Oh faust, she’s going to say it, isn’t she?

“...An antidote?”

The alchemist groaned loudly and smacked his hoof on his own face, pulling in down and stretching his skin in absolute irritation.

“What?” Lyra asked.

“If I had a bit every time somepony said that word, I’d have enough money to replace all of my faulty glassware five times over, and believe me, that is quite a sum.” He looked at her straight in the eye and raised his voice so she could understand him clearly. “Contrary to the majority’s fantastical assumptions, potion-making does not work like that. You can’t make something less wet by throwing more water on it, now can you? Effects, once absorbed into the bloodstream, cannot be reversed until the formula is dissociated from the body. It’s not as simple as taking another potion to negate the effects of the first. Too many unpredictable variables, too many contradictory chemicals to take in account. Theoretically, it is possible, but I have yet to find a way to safely dispel the natural magic that is bonded to the formula. That is why they are only to be taken in small amounts; so that they only last a desired timespan.

“You, however, took several, no, an abhorrent amount of doses in that impetuous little stunt you pulled, and that’s never been done before, but I know that the effects will last a greater period of time than originally intended. The exact prediction, I have no idea. All that I have discovered in my life of alchemy is built upon and supported by hard evidence and scientific trial. Regular doses vary slightly with each pony due to their metabolism, body mass, etcetera... etcetera... With you, I can only make a few logical assumptions. With duration amplified, the discrepancy may also be extended, which means that it could last anywhere from weeks, months, years... More likely it will last a span of time synonymous with rest of your natural life.”

“T-the rest of my life?!” Lyra parroted. She looked at her hands, then bent her head to look at her green hooves. She looked like a freak. How could she ever be seen in public like this? How could she face Bon-Bon like this? “How can you say there’s no antidote? Isn’t this kinda like Poison Joke? That can be cured with Zecora’s bubble bath!”

“The effects of Poison Joke come from their magic-saturated pollen that tenaciously sticks to the fur. That bath is merely a mix of chemicals that neutralizes the pollen and dis-adheres it from the body’s surface. Without its source, the pollen, Poison Joke can no longer affect you.”

“What about that time Apple Bloom had cutie pox?”

“That... isn’t technically body transformation, but it still involves natural magic. Heart’s Desire mostly remains in the digestive tract and distributes its effects from there. The Flower of Truth is its negator.”

“But what about the love poison during Hea-”

“OH! PLEASE! I INSIST! Do try and contradict the one who’s been studying and practicing this longer than you’ve been ALIVE!!!”

She said nothing more.

“Heh, it’s not entirely bad.” He allowed himself a wheezing chuckle. “At least you got half of what you wanted.” Lyra began to sniffle.

“You deserve it!” Dash reviled.

Dominic shifted his glare to the cyan pony.

“I have not forgotten about you, Rainbow Dash! I don’t need to remind you that it was you as well who nearly attempted thievery of my creations!”

She shrank back with a nervous titter.

“Go home, girl, I’ll deal with you later. I will have a word with Twilight about this.” After a short pause, he added: “And don’t even think about beseeching anything from me for a good while!”

“Ok...” Despondently, she began to trudge out of the storeroom. Without warning, she turned right around, flew to the splayed centaur, clutched her wrist between her hooves, gave her hand a long, wet, forceful lick with her lolling, orangish tongue, shuddered in ecstasy, and shot out of the basement in an unreadable blur. Dominic stood in place and blinked.

“Eww, gross.” Lyra wiped her saliva-slick palm on her sea-foam fur.

With the unsavory happenings behind him, Dominic could resume his work. It was probably a little past midnight, but that was not an issue to the apothecary. He had trained himself over his lifetime of working to only require 4 or 5 hours of deep sleep in order to function and remain relatively healthy. It gave him more time to work, more time to discover new things and new ways to improve his grand profession. It was peculiar, though, because he never remembered creating that particular potion in the first place. Why would anypony want to be a centaur? It must have come from that chaotic little... mental vacation he experienced a few years back. A lot of strange things came out of that episode, but he remembered nothing from it. Dominic was still sorting through all the things his insane creativity brought into the world. What a mess...

So, Rainbow Dash flew back to her cloud castle home. What she was doing there, all alone and such, frankly, Dominic did not want to know. As for Lyra... well... she couldn’t just go off on her own. For one thing, Everfree was dangerous at night. A small foal could tell anypony such, but she also couldn’t go back to Ponyville looking like that. The chemist did not want to have to explain the source of panic and mayhem. Not at that moment. So, he had to keep her there, in his lab. He had her promise not to cause any trouble, and the unicorn-turned-hybrid creature did so without much hesitation. Dominic may have put a bit too much fear into her with all that yelling. His throat smarted like a bee sting. He merely worked diligently at his aged wooden tables stacked with glassware and boiling liquids like he did every day from the crack of dawn to late into the night. It was peaceful. The quietness calmed his frayed nerves while he dealt with the tedious tasks of an alchemist. Lyra did not give too much trouble. In fact, she was sitting on her haunches near the stairs, head tilted downward in keen fixation. Her newly acquired hands were at her chest, playing with her...

Her...

“Excuse me, what the faust are you doing?” Said Dominic, torn from his concentration for whatever the aberration was doing with herself.

She didn’t even bother looking up. Her hands continued to knead. “They’re so squishy and soft... feels weird, too...”

“Stop that.”

“Why?” She finally cast a fleeting glance at the scowling ebon pony.

“It’s disgusting... and annoying...”

“You told me not to bother you, so I’m not bothering you.”

“THAT is bothering me.”

Lyra pouted. “Nothing pleases you, old-timer. They’re cool, they’re there, and they’re mine. What else am I supposed to do?” She resumed her actions, experimentally groping the fleshy chest-bumps, when suddenly a red sash was thrown around her chest and constricted from behind.

“Hey! What gives!” She shouted, and yipped as the impromptu clothing tightened around her ribcage. Securing the knot tightly, Dominic then administered a drop of his own patented adhesive into the porous fabric of the sash, hardening it and making it impossible to untie without the use of a sharp object.

“Lyra, I don’t care. They were distracting me, and I need my concentration.”

She spouted an indignant huff and crossed her arms, but then she took a moment to observe his workplace for the first time as he trotted back to his table.

“What do you even do here all day?” She asked.

Dominic faced the clueless centaur. “Were you not so infatuated with fiddling with your mammaries you would have observed that for yourself!” He gestured to his proud setup of glass and metal. “Here, I create magic the only way an earth-pony can: with the use of the mystical vegetation out here in Everfree Forest.”

“Really? That’s all you do?”

He was taken aback. “This is my place in life, Lyra! I couldn’t imagine myself doing anything else.”

“But... don’t you get out? Don’t you have fun?”

Dominic held back his answer for a short moment. “My work has its own merits.”

“Alright.” She rolled her eyes, not convinced that anypony could be satisfied with only doing work day in day out. A hopeful thought hit her. “Hey, do you think you could just change me back by giving me a ‘pony potion’?”

“Absolutely impossible.” He replied immediately, re-absorbed in his chemical testings. “The transformation magic still resides within you, and the formula flows too strongly through your blood. Likely, it may have completely re-written your genetic code. Any attempts to transform your body into anything else would be fruitless.” Dominic picked up a flask with his teeth and poured its contents into another beaker. It went cloudy and viscous. He scribbled his observations on a piece of paper with an old quill.

“Why?”

He sighed. If he had a list of things he hated the most, explaining his work to ponies without the slightest bit of knowledge of his subject would be on there, right next to thievery and sugary foods. He could use an analogy. They tended to help explicate things to the more obtuse ones; the ones that aren’t Twilight Sparkle, who apparently was the only pony he has met so far that had enough intellect to understand what he said half the time.

“Imagine...” He glanced at his writing utensil. “...Placing a drop of ink in a flowing river, whereas the river would be you as a centaur and the drop of ink is another transformation potion. It wouldn’t accomplish much, other than make a dark blot for a short instant and subsequently be swept away and dissolved completely in the water. The chemicals in your bloodstream are already too potent to be altered, therefore your form will remain the same in spite of any magic used to revert you or change you into something different, be it a potion, unicorn magic, or otherwise. Fun fact, you’re completely immune to Poison Joke now. You can tell me how they taste.”

“So I’m stuck like this forever?”

“For the sake of not having to reiterate myself further, yes.”

She held up her fingers and clutched them curiously. Then, she shifted her four lower limbs on her equine torso. “I... guess I could get used to it.”

The alchemist didn’t bother with a response. He simply kept at his trials, mixing, heating, and decanting; furthering his frontier in the modern age of supernatural elixirs.

“I don’t think I ever got your name.” The centaur said suddenly.

He gave brief eye contact. “It’s Dominic.”

“What kinda name is that?”

“My own.”

She placed her hands on her hips, a strange sensation for her palms to feel the border between her skin and her fur. “What’s your real name?”

“One, it’s none of your concern, and two, it matters little. I am referred to as Dominic by everypony who knows me.”

“It’s just that ‘Dominic’ doesn’t sound like any kind of pony name to me.”

“That’s because it isn’t.”

“What?”

With a careless movement, his long hair fell in front of his eyes. Growling in frustration, he parted the strands with his hoof and swept them to his sides. “You don’t need to know anything about my name, other than the fact that my name is Dominic! End of story!”

She flinched. “Chill out, man. I was just asking.”

He narrowed his dark eyelids around his deep-blue irises. “You are wearing my patience thin. I did not ask for a pestiferous little brat in my mane!”

“Well maybe you should get a mane-cut!” She retorted.

Dominic ceased his actions and kept his mouth clamped shut. He withdrew himself from the table he was propped on, trotted past the counter, and stopped at the front door, all while Lyra watched him with confusion. He turned the locks on the wooden entrance and it swung open with the ring of a bell.

“Out.” He declared, thrusting his hoof toward the chirping darkness of the forest outside.

“What? What did I do?”

“NOPONY TELLS ME TO CUT MY MANE! I LIKE IT EXACTLY HOW IT IS AND I INTEND TO KEEP IT THAT WAY! GET OUT!!!”

“You’re kicking me out because I told you to cut your mane? Really?!”

“You’ve overstayed your welcome here, not that I gave you one, you depraved psychopath!”

His words stung her harder than she thought they would. “I-I’m sorry...”

“Out of my house.”

“But it’s dark... and it’s so close to Everfree Forest...”

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with that when you SNUCK IN HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!”

“I... actually came here during the day and waited until night...”

Dominic, still holding the door open, was speechless.

“But... but then what? What were you planning to do when you acquired the potion?!”

“I... didn’t think that far.” It seemed that Lyra had a habit of short-sighted planning.

“...You really are crazy...”

“I’m not crazy!!!” She shouted with tearful eyes, standing up on all four hooves and squeezing her fists until her knuckles were white.

“You’ll have a hard time convincing me.” He snarked.

“I’m not, I’m not, I’M NOT!!!!” Her front hoof stomped on the wood floor like an angry foal.

To the complete surprise of both Dominic and Lyra, a flash of black and white shot into the room from the open front door, tripped, tumbled head-over-hoof, and slammed into the counter with a harsh bang. Lyra gasped.

“Zecora?!” Dominic exclaimed. She was hyperventilating. Her eyes were red, her usually mohawked mane was ragged and windswept. With what little strength she had, she hacked up all the words she could muster from her parched, dry throat.

“Shut... door!”

Galvanized into action, he slammed the store’s entrance and refixed all the locked into their place. He surmised that the zebra would not be running unless she was running from something. Opening the metal eye slit and peering through, he saw the reason.

“Dear... Celestia...”

To be more accurate , he heard it first. He heard a thundering gallop in the distance, accompanied by a howling roar and explosive snapping sounds. Though he could barely see in the darkness, he could see movements in the treetops. By faust... they were actually being knocked over. The aged stallion began to sweat. The angry roaring became louder, coming closer and closer, when it emerged into the clearing in a blast of vegetation and splinters.

He had never seen anything like it in his entire life. The muscled monstrosity was completely hairless, save the spare, patchy ropes of lengthy, black hair that hung down its face, thinned by decay. I charged for the apothecarium, mindlessly following the scent-trail left by his prey. Dominic flinched, prepared for an impact, but it never came. Upon coming within range of the building, it came to a full halt and buried its face into its tumorous paws. Growling in hatred, it beat its cumbersome fists into the ground, each blow resulting in small earthquakes. Dominic realized that the chemical stink that hung around his home was assaulting the beast’s painfully acute senses. Giving one last bellow, the thing turned away and stomped off toward the dirt path. The earth-pony closed the slit and collapsed in relief. He turned back to Zecora. Her chest was rapidly rising and falling and her legs were twitching.

Dominic knew of the witch doctor beforehoof. Having potion-making skills that were similar to his, she was bound to come up in conversation sometime or another. He had heard much about her, but this was the first time he had seen her in person. Her hut was situated miles away from his stone homestead, so he never bothered to make a long and dangerous trip for a simple “how-dee-do”. Twilight, acting as sort of a messenger, told Zecora all about him. From what he heard the following day, it seemed that the zebra did not care for his unique, alchemical methods. He suspected that when the modest bookworm said “did not care for”, she actually meant Zecora was insulted that he did not follow the traditional ways of elixir brewing. He had met other zebra travelers in his youth, and they tended to be disdainful in that respect. He really couldn’t blame them. He was, after all, bypassing the limits of ancestral witch-doctory and meddling with the natural order for the sole sake of gaining power.

She needed help, and Lyra certainly wasn’t going to be the one to give it. She was tentatively inching closer, both afraid of herself being seen and unused to walking with a displaced center of gravity. Quickly, Dominic scanned through the concoctions he had on his store shelves.

“No... nope... no... Ah, yes.” He swiped “Recovery” from its place and brought it to the heaving zebra. Her eye fixed onto him.

“I need you to drink this.”

She did not reply, only scowled.

“Damn it, Zecora, drink it before you die of exhaustion!”

Reluctantly, she allowed him to put the scarlet draught to her lips and tilted it down her throat. The zebra felt her yowling limbs relax as a warm sensation enveloped her body. She sighed and her breathing slowed to deep, calm intakes. Sitting up, she collected her raspy voice.

“Thank you, dear alchemist. My stubborn pride was very remiss.”

“So that was the idiosyncrasy Twilight mentioned. Rhyming. How peculiar.” Dominic thought to himself. Zecora appeared to want to speak again, when she caught sight of Lyra. Her jaw hung agape.

“Oh. Meet the most recent imbiber of one of my alteration potions, Miss Lyra Heartstrings.”

Lyra waved meekly. “Hi...”

Zecora turned to Dominic with a few hundred urgent questions, but he stopped her.

“Please, it’s a long story, and we have much more pressing matters at hoof. Tell me, what in the name of faust was chasing you?”

She seemed to grimace at the recollection. “What it was, I do not know. What concerns me is where it will go!”

“Where it will go...” Understanding crept up his spine. The path... The beast was heading down the path... to Ponyville. “Oh no...”

“This beast is thirsting for blood, aching for prey. If we do not stop it, Ponyville will be in dismay!”

“There will be more than dismay, they’ll all be dead.” Both Lyra and Zecora were appalled. Dominic knew... something with that much power, the strength to rip trees from their stumps... the small town would never be prepared for an attack like that in the middle of the night. “We need to warn them. We need to warn them this instant!”

“Despite its size, the monster is also fast! If we leave now, we shall not hope to last!”

“Not if I have anything to do about it!” Rushing behind the counter, Dominic went out of sight for a few moments. A rustling was heard, followed by a crash, followed, in turn, by several angry swears. He soon returned with saddlebags and bundles of soft cloth.

“Make some use of yourself, Lyra, and help me pack.” The centaur complied, but not without some degree of chagrin at his bossiness. The alchemist went around the store shelves, pointing at all the liquids and flasks he desired to take, and Lyra carefully put them in the pack that was specifically designed for this purpose.

“Careful, Lyra. Some of these are incredibly corrosive. I don’t want a hole in my back.” She stuffed the soft cloth around the glass bottles so they would not move in transit.

“Ok, I think they’re good.”

“Really? That was rather brisk. Those hands have quite the advantage over my mouth.”

She nodded and secured the straps on the satchels and checked it to make sure they would stay in place. She seemed eager to use her new limbs, which have proven they were just as effective as unicorn levitation. Zecora, still convinced of this task’s folly, merely observed them prepare.

“What is it that you hope to achieve? How we can warn them, I cannot conceive.”

“Have a little more faith in my abilities, Zecora. We can, and we shall.” He cradled three vials in the pit of his foreleg and hobbled over to the other two. “The path to Ponyville is one long curve; it does not go directly to the town. If we sprint a straight line through the forest, we should arrive before it does.”

“You expect me to run? All of my energy has been undone!”

Dominic held out one of the vials filled with bright-green fluid. “This should help. I pray that you are comfortable with sleeping for a few days afterward, for that is probably what is to come in your disposition.”

The zebra may have been grateful for his help so far, but she was hesitant to drink anything that he made. It seemed so unnatural, his methods, not working with nature to make arcane tonics, but twisting it to whatever purpose suited him. She was a firm believer of tradition. It had been taught to her by her elders, and their teachings have guided her safely for as long as she could remember. No zebra in their right mind would go back on the creeds of their ancestors.

But she had no other option.

Without a word, she took the glass container, braced herself, and forced it down her throat. Within moments, she felt a fiery sensation seep into her fatigued muscles and charge them with electricity. She felt her blood fizz with magical power. She felt like she could run forever, across the grassy plains of her homeland, not as the zebra, the prey, but as the cheetah, the predator. She was filled with a seething purpose, accompanied by a hunger for revenge.

“We must not delay, for this monster will pay.” She snarled through gritted teeth. Forget inner peace, forget the natural cycle. If the beast wanted her blood, then she shall have some of its.

“Right!” He held out another to Lyra. “You’re next.”

She took it and uncorked the mouth, but she stopped. “I thought you said potions couldn’t affect me anymore.”

Dominic sighed. “Only transformation magic. This an entirely different... oh for Celestia’s sake, just drink the fausting thing.”

She obeyed, scrunching her face at the horrific taste of it. It was no more pleasant than the one she took earlier, but soon it gave her a energetic charge just like with Zecora. Dominic was the last to drink his, and he did so without even the smallest flinch.

“Don’t break my glasses.” He unlocked the door and nearly tore it off its hinges. “Come on! Lets go, lets go!”

Urgency overtaking them, they all ran out the door and followed Dominic’s lead. He took a hard left and went straight into the forest. The dank, gnarled trees and bushes blurred by them as they galloped without pause, concentrating on dodging vines and branches. Lyra didn’t seem to have trouble with her new body. Though she was taller and had to be extra careful with forest debris, she was running with as much vigor as Zecora. Speaking of which, the zebra casted her hard gaze in only one direction. She was focused on the path ahead and her own inner priorities. So focused, in fact, that she brought herself to the front of the group, determined to reach her goal. With her in the lead, Dominic couldn’t help but take an inexorable glance at the exotic mare’s curvacious-

“Well! Now that is an admirable quality...”

+++++

It was tired. It was hungry. It was in so much pain. Chasing that morsel of food had been exhausting. Its limbs burned. They ached. The agony was so intense... it couldn’t stand it.

Even then, it still continued to stomp down the dirt path, not taking any more chances with the forest. Animal instinct taught it that the easiest prey took the easiest paths, so it followed the trail of least resistance, eager to catch scent of a new meal after the last escaped from his clutches.

It took a slight pause in its gorilla-like lumbering and snorted the air.

Blood... Clean and untainted...

A mucus and spittle-filled moan extruded from its ever-gaping maw.

“Sslleeeshhh... Nnngeeeett...”

The beast, rejuvenated by the overpowering smell of food, lumbered towards the dimly lit town.

+++++

Fluttershy winced as Rarity applied the sterile bandage to her open cut. The red-weeping wound had been cleaned of infection prior.

“Dearie, you’ll have to be more careful in the future. The common cart has a lot of nasty sharp spots.” She said with just a hint of weariness in her voice. She, too, had been dragged into Pinkie’s party planning. Usually, the exuberant mare would have a full day to prepare, but since work came first, she was determined to labor well into the night. Fluttershy and Rarity, however, weren’t as enthusiastic of being deprived of their sleep, but they were still willing to help their friend.

“Wow, Fluttershy, first a stubbed hoof, then a big cut? Today just isn’t your day!” Pinkie Pie vocalized while bouncing in a circle around the pair, the alabaster unicorn still tending to the pegasus’s ministrations.

“Oh, I’ve had worse...” Fluttershy whispered.

“Nonsense, dear. I’ve known you for years and years, and this is the worst scrap I’ve ever seen on you.”

The canary pegasus suddenly bit her mouth closed. Using her magic, Rarity gently yet assertively wrapped her leg with an elastic band of white cloth, tied it tightly, and snipped the excess.

“Rarity, you’re so good at this. I never knew that you had training in first aid.”

“I haven’t, Fluttershy. Dressing an injury isn’t so much different from dressing in style. I suppose I have an affinity for all things that have to do with cloth.”

Fluttershy wobbled up on her hooves. “Thank you.”

“Any time, dearie, I’ll always be happy to help.”

“So...” Started Pinkie. “Are we good now? Can we get back to party preps?”

“Yes, and your friend is fine, too. So thoughtful of you to ask.” Rarity deadpanned.

“You’re welcome!” She chirped with no less sweetness than her very own “Triple Sugar” cookies. Rarity rolled her eyes as the hyperactive mare zipped back to the cart she was hauling. The unicorn returned to hers. Fluttershy floated by each of them to make sure none of the colorful cargo fell out as they headed back to Sugarcube Corner. She took extra care to watch for protruding metal.

The fashionista panted under the strain. “Please tell me, Pinkie Pie, why do you need so many supplies for one party?”

“Well, actually, I was running low, anyway, so I’m re-stocking my stores.”

“Stores?!”

“Makes it a lot easier to put together parties without having to go to the market every time. This is about four months worth.”

Rarity shrugged. “At least that makes one thing that you plan ahead for.”

If the pink pony had a reply to that, she could not give it, for her body seized and she started to vibrate.

“Pinkie?” Fluttershy wafted to her friend.

“Pinkie Sense! Combo! Big one!” Was all she managed to get out amidst her convulsions. Luckily, she had the foresight to wriggle herself out of the cart’s harness before her preternatural seizure went into full effect. Her companions could only gape with solicitude.

Hoof-tapping.

Frizzy mane.

Wall-eyed for 4... no... 4.5 seconds.

Then, she hopped into the air, did one full rotation on her longitudinal axis, and flopped onto the ground.

“SHUT UP PEPPY! I KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!” She shouted impulsively.

“Pinkie Pie! What on earth was that?” Rarity inquired.

“I... I don’t know!” Pinkie stood up. “It’s happened before, but I thought it was Ellis who would cause it!”

“Cause what?”

“I’m not sure, but something bad. Something really bad! Ellis isn’t around here, so it must be caused by something else!”

Rarity and Fluttershy looked at each other, not knowing what to say. If Pinkie says something bad will happen, and she has her Pinkie Senses to back it up, then they would believe it.

Fluttershy broke the silence. “What do we do?”

“We have to get these party supplies to Sugarcube Corner PRONTO! They’re not safe out here!”

Rarity facehoofed.

“Really, Pinkie? You’re getting all worked up because your party is in danger?”

“No! Parties mean everything, so EVERYTHING IS IN DANGER!” She slipped back into her harness and carried her cart, double time.

“Wait! You can’t expect me to go that fast!” She mushed on, bringing the heavy load to her momentum and running after the hysterical mare. Fluttershy hovered in place, chewing her hoof in anxiety. She seemed to be warring over the gravity of Pinkie’s prophetic instincts. Was it real danger, or just a false alarm? Rarity, calling from the distance, interrupted her thoughts.

“Come on, Fluttershy! We can’t let her off on her own!”

She jerked back to awareness, right forehoof falling from the side of her waist.

“Coming!” She sped to the aid of her friend.

+++++

To say that Applejack was angry was a downright understatement.

To say that she was absolutely, unreservedly furious? That would be a little closer to the truth.

But not all of that rage was directed toward the idiotic, intoxicated human that hung limply over her back as she cantered home to the farm. No, most of it was to herself. She let herself get all worked up. For nothing. For an insensitive foal of man. Her worries were severely misplaced. The only one who needed to worry was Ellis, because when he woke up tomorrow, Applejack would give him what’s what.

“Ah can’t believe it. Ah just can’t believe it!” She repeated for the twentieth time. Ellis may or may not have acknowledged her with a hiccup. “Ya get yer hands on a bag a’ bits, an’ the first thing ya do is get stinkin’ drunk! What the hay?!”

“Now, in mah defense,” He slurred from his bouncing seat. “We went bowling first.”

“Shut it.”

From his place on the ground where Applejack had first found him, his co-workers were close behind. Sawdust and Ball-Peen recounted the events of the night, including him boasting about his actions prior coming to Equestria. She was fearful of what might happen to him since he revealed his past endeavors, but the construction ponies said that nothing would come of it. Sure, he’d get a bit of notoriety for the brawl, but nopony would believe a drunken idiot. Scars or no scars, zombies were just too far-out for any of them to accept. With no shortage of chiding or scolding, Applejack heaped his slack torso over her back and started to carry him back to the farm.

“Now, ah know ah was drunk,” Pipped Ellis. “But ah swear, ah saw this one pony. She... looked like she was make a’ glass - but still movin’ an’ all - an’ filled with soda, ‘er somthin’.”

The farm pony didn’t know what to say to that.

She clopped on, the moon only barely lighting her way. It was a mere sliver, near the death of this cycle and the rebirth of another. The path was clear, though. She could just make out the distinct profile of the Apple Family barn. What she couldn’t make out was why she was , looking after him. After what he had done, after what he had put Applejack through, she shouldn’t be carrying him back to her home. She should be in her bed, resting up for another day of labor. Instead, she’s dragging an asinine drunkard on her back through the dead of the night. She should be telling Ellis to hit the road. She gave him her hospitality, and he repays her by being an irresponsible foal.

But she couldn’t leave him. One, she had her duty to do; the one Mayor Mare entrusted her to do, the one she promised she would carry out.

Two... she just couldn’t imagine life without him. It sounded stupid to Applejack, but she could not fathom why his presence meant so much to her. Was it because he was the most interesting thing to come into her life? A being from another world; a world so different, yet so morbid and dreary. Besides the occasional threat, Equestrian Rodeo, or other happenings, her life was more or less uneventful.

Applejack skipped a beat in her pacing, fatigue finally hitting her after a long day of applebucking and the postponement of her rest. The weight on her spine suddenly got heavier. Her limbs ached for relief. All she could think about is collapsing in a heap and drifting away, but she was not yet home. The barn was only a short distance away, though. If she couldn’t make it to her bed, then a stack of hay will do just fine. She changed course and headed for the red-painted double-doors.

“Hey, AJ.” Ellis finally spoke after some time. “Ahm real sorry ‘bout this. Wasn’t thinkin’ too well.”

Applejack shoved the barn door open. “Ellis, ya knew very well that we were expectin’ ya home, you just plum didn’t care! Ain’tcha got no brain, or do humans lack that particular muscle?!”

“Ah... ah kin make it up to ya! Ah... uh... this one time, me an’ mah buddy Keith-” Ellis was silence as Applejack tossed him off her back and into a mound of dried straw. She whirled around and met his startled expression with a sharp glare.

“Ah definitely do not wanna hear about yer stupid friend, or all the stupid things ya do together! Ahm tired-!” She bit her tongue and flinched away, trying to prevent her anger and her frustration from spilling out, but it was too late. The words came out. She yelled them right in his face. For the second time that day, she had let her emotions get the better of her.

Ellis merely stared back blankly, as if his mind was shoved out of sync and trying to catch up. He sighed and cast his head down.

“Well, if ya don’t wanna hear ‘bout it, that’s fine with me.”

“Ellis, ahm sorry. Ah didn’t mean-”

He stopped her with a wave of his hand. “Naw, ah think yer right. These stories are stupid. Ahm stupid. An’ because a’ that, stories are all ah go tah show...”

Applejack couldn’t see his eyes in the darkness, only the faint colors of his hat and shirt. She had never seen him this somber before.

“Ahm... ah may jus’ be the stupidest jackass on the planet. Ah could have been smart... ah could have been careful... but no. Ah had tah go be stupid again.” His voice began to falter. “A-an’ now all I have is me an’ mah stories. Nothin’ more. Jus’ me re-tellin’ ‘em as ah see fit. Nobody tah reminisce with, nobody tah laugh ‘em off with... Jus’ me... jus’ me...”

As he curled up and bit his knuckle, things were beginning to make sense to Applejack. She’d only gotten vague hints of it before, but now it was clear. There was more to him than the image of happy naivety. He regrets something. Regrets it with all his might. He’s been constantly pushing it down; beneath his cheerful smile and carefree demeanor, beneath the horrors and evils of the Apocalypse, beneath the blood-curdling moments of near-death, beneath his deepest, darkest fears of which he would never disclose to anyone. Those regrets were threatening to resurface. The friendly shine of his eyes were dimmed with an undercurrent of sorrow. Applejack knew exactly what she needed to ask; what she needed to know.

“Ellis, a pony ah hold very dear once told me that... there ain’t no such thing as you an’ yerself, that ya need tah share yer troubles with others so it ain’t so hard on you.” She moved closer and lay down on the hay next to Ellis. The human didn’t even look up. “Ah don’t feel like it’s any of mah business, but ahm here for ya, willin’ tah listen tah anything ya got tah say. But... ah think ah know what’s eatin’ ya, and frankly, ah think it’s been eatin’ me, too.” She scooted closer and gently rested her hoof on his shoulder. The shiny streaks reflecting the sparse moonlight were unmistakably there on his cheeks.

“Ah just gotta know, Ellis... What happened to Keith?”

+++++

Forceful knocking interrupted Twilight’s late-night reading. “Who could that be?” She wondered to herself. Marking her page and setting the book on the nightstand, she carefully slipped out of her bed. Spike was snoring softly in his tiny cot nearby, tuckered from a long day of library maintenance. As she quietly descended the steps, she accounted that Owlowiscious was out hunting. No nocturnal work needed to be done that night. The knock came again, more frantic than before.

“Coming! I’m coming!” She called, crossing the length of the main floor to the front entrance. Using her signature lavender aura of levitation, she turned the knob and swung the door open, surprised to find the ponies on the other side.

“Dominic?” The ebon earth-pony nodded, his wheezing breaths disallowing him to speak for the moment. He never comes to Ponyville, what was he doing here now, of all times? But he was not alone. Twilight looked to her right to find another surprise. “Zecora?” The zebra is also a rare visitor, hardly ever leaving the boundaries of everfree unless it was a special occasion. She looked to the left-

“DEAR SWEET CELESTIA, WHAT IS THAT?!?!” She literally jumped backwards at the sight of the abnormality. Lyra turned away morosely.

“That’s not fair, Twilight.” Dominic stepped inside. “Of all the ponies, I predicted you would have the calmest reaction.” His two companions filed in behind him.

“That is definitely a cause for alarm!!” She shouted, sticking an accusing hoof in the centaur’s direction. “What the hay is it doing with you?!”

“Really? Don’t you recognise Lyra here?”

Twilight’s face softened as she saw the lyre cutie mark on the side of her flank. “Lyra? Is that really you?”

Lyra nodded. “Yeah...”

“What happened?”

“She drank one of my potions and turned into that, to sum it up as briefly as possible.” Dominic interjected. “As significant as that may seem, that is not why we are here.” He paused to catch his breath.

“Why else would you be here?” Said the librarian.

“HOLD ON! I’m getting to that!” He took a few more deep breaths. “Twilight, I need you to rouse the entire town and get them to safety.”

“The entire town? At a time like this?”

Zecora spoke up this time. “A monster is coming, fetid and insidious. Its body is swollen, its face most hideous.” She winced at the recollection of its image.

“Monster?! What did you say it looked like?”

Zecora reared on her hind legs. “On two feet it stands,” She clopped back to the ground. “Walks like a giant ape. Its eyes are sunken and lifeless, its maw always agape.”

Giant ape, walks on two legs, swollen muscles, lifeless eyes... “That sounds like...” A memory clicked into place. “No... it can’t be...”

Dominic spoke again. “Now is not the time for delay! It is imperative that everypony is woken and evacuated! We don’t know how far it is from here. For all we know, it may already-”

A shrill screech cut a jagged rent of horror through the air. Panic, noisy destruction, and a monstrous bellow followed.

“Oh no...” He breathed.

All the ponies raced outside. The commotion was evident. Terrified equines galloped for their lives, screeching all the way. Mothers clung to their foals, husbands clung to their wives. Everypony abandoned their beds and their homes and took to the streets in search of safety.

A deafening crash resonated from their immediate right. The group ducked and shielded themselves as the remains of a produce cart pelted them with wooden shrapnel and ruined fodder. The mangled frame of the cart slid past them in a useless heap of miscellany. Shaking the debris from her mane, Twilight peered through the darkness of the near-moonless night in the direction of where the cart was hurled from.

It came with a audible rumble, a constant thunder as its burdensome mass impacted the cobblestones, lifted, reached forward, and fell to the ground again. It clawed its way forth, tearing the earth underfoot, a juggernaut of raw power focused on a single-minded endeavor, not acknowledging the wagon it had swatted aside as indifferently as a pony might shoo an insect. With another glancing swing of its weighty limb, it gouged a hole in the brick wall of a nearby building. The aged stone, stone that had stood in its place since the first founding of Ponyville, crumbled in an avalanche of rubble and dust. The beast thundered on, nostrils overwhelmed with the stink of flesh, its jawless mouth dribbling with sickly froth. It raised its mighty arms overhead and slammed them down on the road in an upheaval of broken rock, barely missing a fleeing colt by a hair-length.

Twilight’s joints locked in place. Her body froze in shock. The abomination that heedlessly mutilated the streets before her was unlike anything she had seen or read about before. It was a soulless leviathan, destruction incarnate, an immense husk of what used to hold intelligence, sentience, maybe even compassion, but no more. It was a monster by every meaning of the word.

And it was coming straight for her.

“Twilight! Run!” Dominic shouted after he urged Zecora and Lyra to take to the streets to give any aid they could muster. Twilight, however, was still paralyzed. The world seemed so disconnected around her. The screams, her aged friend’s insistent cries, the thumping of the beast’s strides, gradually getting louder and louder... it felt dull and muffled through her ears. Her mind moved in slow-motion. She recalled the time she was chased by a hydra, and barely escaped with her life. She remembered walking through Everfree Forest, seeing a flash of beady, red eyes and knowing nothing more until she woke up to Fluttershy. She recollected all the times of danger and near-death she had faced in the past...

Nightmare Moon, Discord, Cerberus, the dragon, the entrance exam, her first Summer Solstice, mom, dad... No, it was her life that was flashing before her eyes.

“Twilight?! Twilight!!” No response from the lavender unicorn. “Celestia fausting damn it, Twilight! Come to your senses!!!”

She snapped back to reality to see the hulking behemoth charging toward her, malevolence beaming from its decayed pupils. Its egregious nidorosity assaulted her herbivorous taste buds and throttled her gag-reflex. Her legs broke from their petrification, wheeling backwards while never taking her eyes off of the sickening fiend of wanton slaughter.

“T-TANK! TAAAAAAAANNKK!!!” She cried as she joined the tide of pandemonia.

+++++

Ellis broke through the foyer entrance and stumbled to the ground, shotgun still gripped tightly in his hand, a fistful of shells clenched in the other. His chest heaved with exhausted respiration. After a few moments of breathing, he wheezed out a chuckle and shakily rose to his feet, reloading the magazine with the soft click of each shot.

“Some run that was. Mah ol’ soccer coach always told me ah couldn’t play mid fer the life a’ me. Look who’s laughin’ now...” He pumped shell into the chamber. “Ain’t that right, Keith.” He glanced around. “Keith?” He desperately scoured the immediate area for his friend. His only friend. “KEITH?!”

Sprinting out the door, he came to the high sun casting its harsh rays on his barren, deteriorated hometown. The once proud and bustling streets were lined with abandoned cars and raging gasoline fires. The once clean buildings were in a state of apocalyptic disrepair; broken windows exuded charcoal smoke. Infected corpses were piled on the pavement leaking blackened blood from buckshot-inflicted wounds. The mechanic called repeatedly for his buddy; he hollered and searched with all his capacity. His friend’s name rang and reverberated through the empty, lifeless streets with no reply.

“Keith! Keith!!!” He kept calling and calling. Where was he? He remember that he was at his side, there was a horde of zombies... too many to take on their own. They rushed to the evac building, where safety and relief awaited them. He ran on, only looking back to see if Keith was at his side, and he was. His scar-patched face was smiling and laughing, a defiant middle-finger to any and all danger, characteristic to his firm belief in immortality that he shared with Ellis. Ellis smiled in return and fired away at the snarling zombies while backpedaling to their destination. There was a lot of running, a lot of shouting... his shotgun clicked empty, so he turned and raced ahead, Keith doing the same. That was ten minutes ago.

“Keith! Oh God... Keith!” His shotgun slipped from his fingers and clattered to the ground. He sank to his knees and buried his face in his palms. Droplets trickled between his digits and pittered to the ground. “Keith... Ke-e-eith...”

There he sat, mourning his friend, stolen from him, silence only broken by the cacophonous roar of a helicopter overhead. The evac chopper, the one that would take him to safety, but what was the point of living when you are all alone...

So that’s how it happened.

He was no witness to his companion’s tragic death.

He did not hear Keith’s final words coughed out of his bloody mouth before sighing his last breath away.

He just... got lost.

“An’ it’s all mah fault!” The turbulent emotions made themselves known, splitting open the forlorn wounds and spilling out the tears of woe and guilt. “Ah- ah let him go! Ah jus’ ran ahead! Ah shoulda... ah shoulda... Ahm sorry!” He fell apart. Uncontrollable convulsions seized his body. After weeks and weeks of pushing it down, denying his fate, hoping that he would see his buddy again, knowing that he’s survived things that would kill man several times over, he couldn’t refuse the truth anymore. He couldn’t hide behind his mirthful mask, he couldn’t avoid shame of his mistake, he could no longer bring him back with the retelling of his most cherished memories with him. He was gone. Nobody, not even someone as tenacious as Keith, could survive the Apocalypse alone. His time with Nick, Coach, and Rochelle taught him that. He was his brother in all but blood. They would have traveled to the ends of the earth and back together, but fate took him away all too suddenly. All he could do was lament; moan and grieve and curse God for this cruel bastardization of grace.

Applejack watched him with a broken heart. To see such an unmovable individual fall to pieces before her eyes... it was unbearable. She thought him to be naive, yes, but she knew he had strength in not allowing himself to change in spite of the hardships he had endured. She thought he had, through the constitution of his will, overcome the grim blights of the past and strove to be kind, caring, and considerate. He wanted to enjoy life, feel the warmth of his smile and revel in the fruition of his own laughter, not be oppressed by regret or turmoil. She realized that, like herself, nopony could be without weakness.

The farmpony paused at this revelation. So different they may be, but they shared the same desire to remain strong in the face of tribulation. She gained a kinship, an understanding for his harrowed soul, for she strives for the same goal, and suffers the same weakness. Applejack thought it was impossible to discern Ellis; he was so different, so strange. Now she knew what had plagued him, what he had never told any other. Now, it was as if she knew him like she knew herself.

While he was still occupied with his weeping, Applejack wrapped her forelegs around him, bringing him close in a comforting embrace. She gently rocked him back and forth as best as her petite body could.

“Elli, don’t say that. It ain’t your fault.”

“...It’s... it’s all my fault...” He whimpered.

“No, it ain’t! Don’t blame it all on yerself. Sometimes, there’s nopony to blame. Sometimes, it’s just just a cruel twist of fate.”

He said nothing, only continued to expel smothered sobs into Applejack’s mane.

“Ahm sorry. Ahm sorry for yer loss. Ah wouldn’t know how to deal with losing my closest friends.” She let him settle down for a moment before going on. “What you did was real brave, Ellis. Ah ain’t talking about the kind of bravery ya need to fight monsters or zombies, or to stay tough when ya should be sad. Ahm talking about the real kind of bravery; the kind that ya need to show your emotions, to show that ya ain’t afraid tah cry. If ya held it in, it woulda eaten you away from the inside. You jus’ gotta open up the barn doors an’ sweep it all out.” She withdrew from his shoulder and met his eyes. They were puffy and red. They exposed his inner pain. “He’s gone, Ellis, but that don’ mean it’s the end. You hold on to all those wonderful stories. Keep tellin’ them with happiness in your heart. You gotta know that he ain’t comin’ back, but ya also gotta keep him close, because friends are forever. That ain’t all, either. Ah’ll be here for ya, too. Ah’ll be here tah listen to yer stories, tah help you when ya need it, tah hold you when yer feeling down, ‘cause ahm yer friend, an’ that’s what friends’r for.”

Ellis threw his arms around the mare and pulled her as close as he could. It wasn’t a life-squeezing hug, but it momentarily startled her. She relaxed and returned the glowing snuggle. He moaned and sniffled faintly into her soft fur as the last of his sorrows bled away in a cathartic stream of dewy droplets. He clung on, intent on not letting go for a very long time.

Applejack was elated that she was able to help a friend with his troubles, but did she really think of him as such? Have they shared enough time with each other, gained enough understanding of each other as to be called friends? When she was with the human, she felt upbeat. She felt she could smile a little wider around him. She loved his charm, his careless affect. She loved the times when he made her laugh. She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard. And while it irked her when he shirked on his responsibility, she was certain she could find it in her soul to forgive him. To her, Ellis was more than just a friend. He was...

He was family.

So they laid there on the springy pile of hay, locked arm in arm in the midst of the nebulous night. Gradually, the sniffling went silent and they both drifted away into much-needed sleep.

+++++

The hysteria spread like a wildfire. In but a few short minutes, the panic had reached the downtown districts of Ponyville, where the bartender of The Prancing Show-Pony was just about to close shop for the night, taking count of the liquor bottles and cleaning the floor with a straw broom. Only the stuck-up Canterlot unicorns remained when she got the alarming news from a passing evacuee.

“What? What is it? Would ya please calm down an’ tell me what in the bloody name of Tartarus is going on?” Rum Run asserted to the brown colt in front of her while she leaned on the broomstick. It was the same one that she served drinks to that night, the one with the melodious Trottingham accent.

“Some great big bloody monster is attacking the town! We need to get out of here, pronto!”

“Look, mate, last time I heard that, it turned out to be some sorry plonker who can get his plot thrown to the ground by a guy half his size.” She said while tilting her head to the unicorns who were still sitting at that same table over yonder. Why do the jerks always have to be the last to leave? She’ll have to kick them out soon. She let them stay and chat long enough.

“Yes, I know, I saw that too, but this is real!” Came his frantic reply. “I saw it myself! It’s huge! Flicked away a fully loaded cart like it was a balloon!”

Rum Run rolled her eyes. “Do you know how hard it is to lock this place up? Damn door’s so old I gotta do some pagan ritual dance and pray that the sodding tumblers will turn.”

“This is a bit more threatening than a minor inconvenience, ma’am! You lock it every night anyway, so can we just hurry and leave?!”

“No, never locked that door. Not once. Nopony’s had the bollocks to come in here and take anything from me. You know why?” She reached under the counter and brought up a large, flashing bowie knife, handle clenched between her teeth. The brown colt scooted back a few inches. “‘Cause I sleep with ol’ Sally here!” The knife thwacked into the wooden surface. “I think I know how to defend myself against a couple’a misbegotten monsters, mate. I ain’t leaving this place for as long as I live, come hell or high waters.”

He sighed. “I suppose there’s no convincing you, then. I’ll just get those other ponies over there.”

“Don’t trouble yourself.” She took a deep breath. “Oi! How about you sorry lot stop slouching around and get out of my tavern! It’s closing time!!”

Curved Swords scoffed and rose from his seat, his comrades doing the same. The begrudgingly made for the door.

“Ok! Well!” The spiky-maned earth-pony turned and cantered away. “Good health to you, ma’am.” He courteously held the door open for the Canterlot duelists, casting a glance outside. “Come on, fellows! Allons-... Oh dear...”

*Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump THUMP THUMP*

CRASH!!!

Tables overturned, chairs went flying, bottles fell off of their places on the shelves and shattered on the floor. A barrage of torn lumber scattered itself across the room as the Tank made its destructive entrance. Screaming all the way, the hourglass-cutie-mark colt sought paltry safety in the corner, putting anything and everything he could leap over between him and the raging behemoth. Curved Sword’s band did likewise. A gargled bellow shook the building, belched from the mutilated maw of the twisted hellion. Unfurling his fist, its swollen fingers wrapped around Swords, who was dazed and immobilized by the impact. He began to flail helplessly as soon as he realized he was being lifted off the ground.

“Unhand me, fiend!” The unicorn was raised nearly to the ceiling. Dread overcame the duelist. “P-please! Help! I don’t want to die-!” The Tank smashed his body into a table, splitting it to fragments and leaving the pony broken and lifeless.

“YOU WANKER!!!”

The Tank reared its head in Rum Run’s direction. She snorted in unbridled fury, her bowie clamped in her mouth.

“YOU SORRY PIECE OF GARBAGE! YOU PICKED THE WRONG PUB TO TRASH! NOW I’M GONNA GUT YOU AND TAKE EVERY DROP OF YOUR BLOOD TO PAINT MY NEW WALLS!” She charged fearlessly at the monstrosity. “I’VE WRESTLED BASILISKS TWICE AS TOUGH AS YOU!!!”

The barkeeper was effortlessly swatted aside with a glancing swing from the beast. She sailed across the bar, over the counter, and crashed into the shelves of liquor. They exploded in a spray of slicing glass and fuming booze. Rum Run fell to the floor like a ragdoll with almost every bone in her body fractured. The alcohol seeped into her gashes, engulfing her bleeding body in unbearable, burning pain before finally slipping into unconsciousness. Now unhindered, the Tank lumbered across the length of the room and ripped open another fissure to make its exit.

+++++

“Pinkamena Diane Pie! Slow down this instant!”

“No time! Bad things! Coming this way!”

“I think something is happening over there...”

Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy raced towards Sugarcube Corner with reckless abandon. The party pony showed no signs of relenting, drawing from some enigmatic source of energy to aid her endeavor. Rarity, however, was on the verge of collapsing, with Fluttershy flying between the two. Colorful parcels occasionally fell out of the confines of the speeding cart, but Pinkie was set on reaching her destination without delay.

“I can’t go on!” Wailed Rarity. Sweat clung to her pristine fur and her lovingly curled mane was bedraggled and windswept. “Pinkie Piiiiieee! Think of your friends! I simply cannot endure this toil!”

“Target sighted!” Shouted Pinkie, oblivious of the fashionista’s circumstance and just plain ignoring her complaints altogether. “We have visual contact! Standby for drop-off!”

Her hooves dug into the ground, skidding to a complete halt in front of the gingerbread bakery. Rarity’s eyes widened as she tried to halt her cart’s forward momentum, half succeeding in parking the trestle next to Pinkie’s.

“Mission accomplished!” She gave a wide, joyous beam.

“I hate you so much right now...” The alabaster unicorn grumbled between feverish gasps.

“Girls...” Fluttershy whimpered. “I think I hear something...”

They all perked their ears to the sky. There was indeed something to be heard. It was ever so distant, but clear:

A crunch of severing rock...

The quiet pitter-patter of pebbles tumbling to the ground...

A vehement grunt of exertion...

“T-twitchy tail!” Pinkie yelled, her tail moving on its own accord.

“LOOK OUT!” The winged caretaker swept Rarity and Pinkie Pie aside right before the falling slab of stone collided with the carts, demolishing both of them in one fell blow.

“My party supplies!!!” The pink mare exclaimed despairingly. She squirmed from the pegasus’s grip and hastened to the wreckage. On her knees, she scooped up the shredded balloons and ruined streamers and cradled them in her quaking hooves.

“No... no... nononononono...” Her bubbly mane began to deflate. “We were so close... we were so close...” The dirt-tainted pink decorations slipped from her forelegs. Her hair straightened completely. “It was gonna be such a great party...”

The stomps of the approaching menace caused her to look up. She sucked in a scream. Her eyes fixed on the odious beast, she scrambled backwards, kicking out her hind legs in desperation. The Tank slowly pawed towards the terror stricken victim, drool dripping off its hanging tongue, aching to sate its pain and taste the flesh and blood of its prey.

“Pinkie! Run!” Shouted Fluttershy. Rarity couldn’t speak, her throat was constricted in abhorrence. Pinkie Pie did not heed the pegasus. She was going into a fatal shock, and the Tank was converging on her at an alarming rate.

Having no other option, Fluttershy gave a mighty flap of her wings and surged to Pinkie’s aid. She placed herself between her and the monster.

“Run! Now!” Finally registering her friend’s command, the baker rolled onto her hooves and sprinted away in a blur, managing to scoop up Rarity along the way, without protest from the unicorn. The two escaped together, galloping off into the distance and to safety.

The Tank motioned after the fleeing ponies, but a pair of outstretched yellow wings impeded its path. Snarling at this impetuosity, his eyes met those of the interloper.

Big mistake.

A blazing spark had ignited in the back of Fluttershy’s brain, turing into a seething fire that bled straight to her eyes. Her pupils dilated, her eyelids wrenched open, and pure, psychological dominance lance into the beast’s corneas, locking them in place. It’s incomprehensible rage was forced down into submission. It beat its fist on the stone below, but to no avail. No living creature, no matter how powerful or ferocious, has ever broken from the fathomless control of the Stare. Through the Stare, Fluttershy pierced its very soul and saw everything that constituted its being, then she would twist it to her command.

She saw... Death... Torment... Rage... Pain... Pestilence, Decay, Violence, Slaughter, Destruction Hunger Evisceration Rot RegretAngerSorrowMadnessLongingDispairHatredBlood-

Gasping, she tore away from the eye contact, ejecting the contents of her stomach on the ground before her, reeling at the repulsive thoughts filling her mind, polluting it, destroying it. A throbbing headache banged against her skull. She couldn’t think. The Tank was suffering similar repercussions, moaning and holding its head in place. Fluttershy was the first to recover, shaking away the mental haze to find the monster still disoriented. Whatever this beast was, it didn’t come from Equestria. Nothing in this peaceful land could have suffered so much. This creature was afflicted with a sickness, one that denied its rightful peace. There was sentience behind those eyes, suspended in limbo, begging for an end to the torture. It made her sick to think that such a thing could happen at all.

The Tank was finally starting to regain awareness. Fluttershy felt her spontaneous courage melt away. With an enormous intake of breath, it threw back its arms, spewing forth a braying roar, consuming the infinitesimal pony in rancid breath. It was a fetor of putrefied meat and the abominable odor of countless opened graves. Toxic spit splattered against her face, her ears rang, her nose felt like it was aflame, and her stomach threatened to heave again, but there was nothing left to empty. The Tank raised its wrecking-ball limb above his head, prepared to grind Fluttershy into dust for all the difficulty she had caused.

Its fist came crashing down.

+++++

Dominic, Lyra, and Zecora all tried in vain to corral the sea of ponies into order. The numbers were too great. Having a centaur there wasn’t helping, either. Dominic surmised that her presence was actually fanning the proverbial fire, and with that probably adding a few gallons of confusion as fuel and a dash of the explosive powder of insanity.

“I really need to cease with the analogies that come into my head...”

“Ponies of Ponyville, head this way!” Zecora attempted to project her voice over the din of panic. “This path is safe from the monster’s foray!” She was trying her best, but the potion was beginning to wear off, making her woozy. Soon she would collapse and be indisposed for the next hoof-full of days.

“Yes! Follow her!” The alchemist assisted the zebra by coaxing more equines her way. “Follow her to the far side of town! With haste!”

A good majority of them complied, but the streets were still filled with chaos. It was like the third coming of Discord.

“Lyra!” He shouted to the centaur hiding in the alley behind him. “We need your assistance right about now!”

“I can’t!” She responded. “They’re all afraid of me!”

She was right, in a way. The ponies did fear her appearance almost as much as the monster, which was allegedly termed as a “Tank” by Twilight. He began to question the wisdom of bringing her here. He certainly wasn’t going to leave her all alone in his lab! No, that was out of the question, but having her in Ponyville was more of a hindrance than a blessing. The sight of her would make fleeing citizens veer off into another direction before any words could be said.

“Come out here anyway! We may be able to use that to our advantage! Keep them from diverging!”

“So you want me to help you by scaring them away?”

“Yes!”

“I don’t want to do that!”

Dominic sighed. “This is most intolerable...”

A wailing evacuee decided right then to path her way down the same alley that Lyra was hiding in. Without thinking, the centaur sidestepped, stooped down, and caught the pony in her lithe arms. She instantly recognized her.

“Bon-Bon?”

The earth-pony stopped mindlessly struggling and raised her head to a familiar, yet alien face.

“Lyra?”

The awkward silence that ensued was thick enough to choke a dragon.

“So... Yeah...” Lyra began. “You remember what I wanted to be for last Nightmare Night, but I couldn’t pull it off?”

Bon-Bon fainted in her arms.

She heard a bout of raspy laughter. “I occasionally wish I had that effect on other ponies.” Dominic snickered.

“It’s not funny!” She shot back. “She's my friend!”

“Well, in that case, I’m sure she’ll get used to it. Eventually...”

A call came from the distance. Dominic turned his head to see Twilight in company with Pinkie Pie and Rarity, the latter two looking particularly dreadful. The three trotted up to meet the alchemist. The first thing he noticed was that Pinkie’s mane was straight. He may not have known her for very long, and, quite truthfully, her presence was a long shot from being desirable for a stallion of an introversive lifestyle, but he knew that something was amiss when somepony’s tightly curled mane suddenly goes flat. The second thing he noted was that neither Rarity nor Pinkie were speaking. Now that was definitely when one should start assuming the worst.

“Twilight? What happened to them?”

“I don’t know! I found them running and brought them over here as quick as I could!”

He kneeled down to the drooping pink mare. “Pinkie Pie, tell me what happened.”

Her voice came out trembling. “F-F-Flutter... sh-sh-...”

“Speak up! What about Fluttershy?” He rose and did a head count. “Where is she?”

Suddenly, a thunderous boom sounded from across the town, followed by a guttural bellow that echoed forebodingly. Everypony’s heart froze.

“Fluttershy!” Cried Twilight. She turned around to rush to the source of the sound.

Dominic stopped her. “Wait! You can’t go out there alone! You’ve seen what it is capable of!”

“Fluttershy needs help, and I don’t think there’s anypony more qualified to deal with monsters then me! Stay here and get Pinkie and Rarity to safety while I go save her!”

“Twilight, I know it is your sworn duty to help a friend in need, but-”

“IT’S NOT UP FOR DEBATE! I’m going to help her and you are not stopping me!” She whirled around and galloped away, leaving Dominic hopelessly calling after her.

+++++

The lavender unicorn arrived at Sugarcube Corner. It was in disastrous shambles, like some sort of hurricane had gouged its way through. Craters and divots dotted the cobblestone ground, buildings were nearly ripped asunder, a sweltering fire raged in place of the broken husks of Pinkie’s party supply carts. She desperately searched for any sign of her friend. Canary-yellow feathers were scattered in various places on the ground. Twilight’s anxiety grew with the number of feathers she found. Her fears skyrocketed when she spotted one stained with blood. Out of the corner of her eye, she found a hoof sticking out from under a pile of rubble located in front of a gaping wound in the structure of the bakery itself. Without hesitation, she ran to the wreckage and used her potent magic to yank the heavy stone away.

When enough was removed, Twilight’s soul nearly fell apart. There was Fluttershy, spattered head to hoof in blood, gashes, bruises and dirt. Both of her wings and one of her hind legs were bent at sickening angles. She lay there, twitching pitifully, eyes flitting open and closed, chest heaving erratically.

“Oh... my... gosh... F-Fluttershy... I-I-I’m so sorry!” She wept painfully, the sight of her dear friend, whom she loved like a sister, so utterly broken before her eyes too much for her to bear. She didn’t know what to do to console herself for allowing this to happen.

A breath escaped from Fluttershy’s lips, weak and gargled with blood. “G-gone...?”

Twilight’s reddened eyes met hers. “What?”

“It... G-gone...?”

“Yes, it’s gone!”

“G-g-good...” She sighed.

The unicorn cupped her hooves to her mouth. “Somepony! Anypony! Help! Please, help!” She turned back to Fluttershy. “Don’t worry, we’ll h-have you all f-fixed up, a-a-and everything w-will be better...! Fluttershy?”

She was still. The twitching had stopped.

“Fluttershy?!”

Her eyes were shut. Her chest was no longer moving.

“FLUTTERSHY!!!!!”

The Aftermath

I intended this chapter to be longer, but I know how much that cliffhanger left you wanting, so l'll break it off at 5300 words so you can all breath a sigh of relief.

Warming sunlight crept through the crack of the door as the radiant ball in the sky slowly made its climb to the heavens. Over the course of an hour, the ray had moved the width of the barn, finally casting itself on someone’s closed eyes, which contracted in irritation.

Ellis stirred from his sleep. He could feel dried straw poking at his back. Annoying, but still it provided him with a comfortable place to rest. The morning’s beacon of light stung brought irritation to his retinas, multiplied by the migraine seething in his brain. Ellis doesn’t get drunk too often, but he knew a hangover when he felt one. It was like pain came in many particular flavors: stinging pain, burning pain, aching pain, and then there was the pain that usually came with a shit-ton of confusion and worry. He tried to recount his memory from yesterday, blocked out by a fog of haziness. Attempting to waft the fog away, he stirred a bit more and finally opened his eyes and looked around. He was in a barn, at least, not a back alley with his pants around his ankles. Ok, that was something he didn’t want in his mind at the moment. Barns are a bit more familiar, more friendly. It dissipated some of his anxiety. Then, he became aware of the constricting weight on his torso. What could it possibly be? Ellis craned his neck down.

There was Applejack, snuggled in his arms, sleeping softly on his chest.

If anyone could see Ellis’s inner persona, it would be furiously smashing the panic button.

“Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit...”

Applejack, roused by his erratic movements, blinked away the bleary screen out of her eyes and looked up at the wide-eyed human with her head still resting on his pectorals.

“Mornin’, sugarcube. How’d ya sleep?” She asked with a smile.

Ellis’s thoughts were in full freaking Armageddon mode, trying to clear away the drunken brume from his memory, trying to extract any solid evidence to contradict his worst conclusions. It wasn’t working.

“Ooohhhh shit. Look, AJ, ah... ah think yer... ya know... pretty an’ all, fer a pony, but... oh shit... ooOOoohh mah Gawd...”

She raised an eyebrow in lethargic confusion. “What the hay you frettin’ ‘bout, Ellis?”

He nearly ripped off his hat, trying to relieve the pressure. If felt like his head was going to explode. “Look, ahm sorry... ah- ah don’t think... Ah wasn’t thinkin’... Ah was drunk... Oh shit...” He wiped away the hot sweat on his forehead. “What the hell happened last night?”

“Nothin’.” She replied plainly. “We jus’ talked.”

“Talked?!”

“Yeah, ‘bout you, ‘bout yer troubles, ‘bout yer friend. Ah listened to it all.” She tightened her forelegs around him a little bit more. “We got a lot off our chests. Never knew how much better you kin feel after a lil’ heart-to-heart. Don’t you remember?”

Ellis let his head fall to the hay and exhaled deeply. To his relief, his memory was trickling back to him. “Yeah, ah remember.” A pang of sadness washed over him briefly. “Ah don’t think ah’ve told anyone ‘bout that. Kept it to mahself. Always hoped that he was still out there somewhere. From what ah’ve been through, that jus’ don’t seem too hopeful no more, an’ since ahm here now, in another world, ah don’t think I’ll ever see him again.” He sighed again. “Ah guess yer right. Ah feel better now that ah’ve told you. Thanks fer listenin’.”

“No problem, Ellis, ah will always be here for ya.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“Hey, AJ?”

“Yeah?”

“You think you kin...”

“Oh! Right.” She straddled off of him and stepped aside.

“Kinda gotta move an’ all.”

“Yeah, sorry...”

Another awkward silence. Ellis placed his hat back on his head.

“One more thing...” He asked suddenly.

“What?”

“We talked... an’ that’s all we did, right?”

“Yeah, we jus’ talked. It was late, we were both tired, ah brought ya here tah sleep, we talked a bit, an’ then we both fell asleep.”

“Thank God!” He exclaimed.

“What? What’cha think we did?” She was absolutely oblivious to Ellis’s trepidations.

“Nothin’. Ferget it.”

Ellis stood up and began stretching while Applejack dismissed the matter and headed outside into the cool morning air. She took a glance at the sun’s position to determine the time. About five or six in the morning was her guess, plenty of time to start working. She felt great, like she was all clean on the inside. It felt like all the fatigue and pain she had built up inside was all washed away and wiped clean. She may have only gotten a few hours of sleep, but it was the deepest sleep she ever had. She took a lung-filling breath of the fresh country air through her nostrils. The farm pony had a good feeling of things from here on out. Sawdust did say that it was their day off for the week, so she and Ellis could spend the day together, talking. It seemed like a likeable idea now that she knew him a little better.

A sudden shout made her head whip around.

“APPLEJACK!” Rainbow Dash soared towards the orange pony at top speeds.

“Dash? What is it- OOF!” The cyan pegasus halted all of her momentum on a dime with a crushing hug around her friend.

“Thank Celly you’re alright, AJ! I went to your house, and Granny Smith said that you went back to Ponyville during the night and hasn’t seen you since! I thought... I thought something happened to you! I-I don’t know what I’d do without you!” Her embrace showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. Tears and weariness were evident in her reddened eyes.

“Rainbow Dash!” Applejack struggled to breath in the pegasus’s grip. “‘Course ahm fine! What are you... talking about?!”

“AJ?” Called Ellis as he stepped outside the barn. “Oh, hey Dash.”

Dash looked at Ellis, then she looked at Applejack, then back to Ellis, then Applejack. A blush surfaced on her face.

“What... Did you two...?”

The mechanic shook his head. “Please, girl, it really ain’t how it seems.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank Celestia!”

Applejack was becoming irritated. “What?! What in tarnation are you two talkin’ about?!”

“Never you mind.” Ellis replied.

She huffed, but didn’t press the matter further. Rainbow Dash looked like she’d been through a lot. She was panting hard, like she’s been flying fast all morning. Bags hung under her eyes, like she has been deprived of most of her sleep, or just came back from a bout of crushing depression. From what the earth-pony was about to hear, it was both.

“What happened, Rainbow? Wah did ya think somethin’ happened to me?”

She met Applejack’s eyes with hers, so belittled with grief. “Ponyville... Last night, it was attacked... by a monster. A Tank.”

Ellis had been re-tying his shoes when he heard that word. His head shot straight up.

“A what now?”

+++++

Devastation.

Total and absolute devastation.

It was the only word Applejack could use to describe the sight of Ponyville when they arrived. It was worse than Spike’s episode that had occurred only a month ago. Smoldering pockets of dying fires scorched various places throughout. Buildings were torn to pieces, windows were broken, debris was scattered on the crumbled streets. The atmosphere reeked of smoke, fear, and blood. Families were huddled outside of their destroyed homes, weeping and hungry. All of the cheery new outlook that Applejack gained was gone. Ellis merely gazed around with an unreadable expression. Rainbow Dash floated a few feet away from him, equally downcast at the sight of it all.

“Applejack!” Twilight ran up to her friend, accompanied by a haggard Rarity, a drooping Pinkie Pie, and Dominic. The collection of companions and their demeanors confused her. The alabaster unicorn looked like she had neglected her outward appearance for days, while the usually exuberant pink mare looked sunken and depressed. And Dominic... well, she hardly ever saw the dreary chemist, but he looked positively grim.

“Twilight!” She met the unicorn halfway they each gave each other a quick, friendly embrace. “What happened here? What sorta monster coulda done this?”

Twilight glanced at Ellis. “The kind of monster that isn’t from this world. Ellis would know of it.”

“Yeah...” He said without taking his eyes off of a foal that was crying out for his mother. “This looks like a Tank’s been through here...”

“Well, this is an interesting development.” Dominic spoke in his usual verbose manner. “From another world you say? And from the same one as the ‘human’. This is most puzzling...” Because his eyes were out of focus, he had to squint to gain a better look at Ellis. His eyes widened for an instant, as if hit with recognition, but then returned to their usual state. He cleared his throat. “I apologize for my unbecoming lack of etiquette. I am Dominic. I specialize in alchemy and all things volatile.”

Ellis observed the curmudgeonly earth-pony, who was a stark contrast to all the ponies he had met so far. His face was weathered, but robust. His eyes were a deep, ultramarine blue. His coat was black, his mane was long, grey, and greasy-looking. His cutie mark appeared to be a collection of three differently-shaped flasks, regarding his profession. He expected to shake his hoof, but the chemist did not move.

“I only wish the circumstances were a bit less morbid, for I was looking forward to finally meeting you, even though you may have inadvertently caused a bit of trouble for me.” He shot a glare at Dash. “No offense to you, of course, but the effect that you had on some ponies was entirely unpredictable.”

“Sorry...” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“Right, so I’ve heard...” He said, not yet convinced of her sincerity. “In other news, Lyra is busy distributing the potions I’ve brought to those who need assistance in getting to the hospital. She is probably the only being that can effectively handle them without the use of magic. Zecora is resting soundly in Twilight’s library. I don’t believe she’ll be waking up for at least another day.”

+++++

Spike yawned as he stretched his cherub-like arms past the edges of his crib. Still in a sluggish state of torpidity, he rolled out of the confines of his bed and thumped on the cool floor, laying there until he had the motivation to get up.

“Urg... I slept like a rock...” He grumbled, looking to Twilight’s bed and finding a pony-shaped bump under the covers, rhythmically rising and falling. Spike narrowed his eyes.

“How dare she sleep in! That’s my job!” Stomping over to the bed, he hopped up onto the mattress, and angrily pulled off the covers. Expecting his caretaker under the sheets, he received a shock when lavender fur was actually black and white stripes.

“Gah! Twilight’s been turned into a zebra!” He shielded himself instinctually. When there was no reaction from the sleeping equine, he lowered his arms and stepped closer. The baby dragon prodded the zebra’s cheek gently. She stirred and muttered something unintelligible under her breath, but did not wake. “A sleepy zebra, apparently.”

Without warning, in a dreamy trance, the zebra lunged out with her front hooves and caught the unlucky dragon in her forelegs. Spike yelped in surprise as he was pulled close and his face was forced against the nape of her neck. The zebra smiled and mumbled something in a foreign language before she began to suckle on one of Spike’s spines like a newborn foal. The dragon attempted to struggle out of her grip, but it was too strong for his scrawny body.

“Uh.... help?”

+++++

“They did their best to help evacuate the town.” Continued Dominic. “Of course, we’re still accounting for the damage...” He lowered his voice. “...and casualties...”

Dash spoke next. “So... uh... where is Lyra, anyway?”

The aged stallion rolled his eyes. “Post office.”

“Cool... ‘cause I’m gonna... help her with stuff... and nothing else!” She sped off with a gust of turbulence and a streak of chroma. Dominic watched her fly away.

“I swear, I’ll unlock the secrets of the universe before I decipher out the mentality of you mares...” He mused. “Anyhow... recovery is well underway. I expect, once Lyra has done her work, I shall return to my lab.”

“Applejack.” The voice came from Rarity. She was trembling. “I was so worried about you, that you were in Ponyville when the monster attacked, and you... you...” She gritted her teeth to stop any more tears from being shed. “You’re a dear friend to all of us, Applejack, and that monster was... absolutely horrid! I-I’ve never been more frightened in all my life when I saw it! What were you doing to avoid such an atrocity?”

“I slept with Ellis.” She replied nonchalantly. Everypony was hit with a look of utter stupefaction. The applebucker looked at all of them in confusion. Ellis pinched the bridge of his nose.

“She really don’t mean it like that...”

“Yes, ah do!” She shouted, now agitated by their strange reactions. “What’s so wrong about it, huh? All ah did was hit the hay with him!” Their faces turned red.

“Applejack...” Ellis spoke with his face still resting in his hand.

“What?!”

“Please... please stop talkin’.”

“Wah should ah? Ah come back to a town that looks like a timber wolf went through a chicken coop, an’ each an’ every one a y’all are...!” She trailed off, counting only five out of her six friends, including Rainbow Dash, who was not present at the moment.

“Where’s Fluttershy?”

They all looked to the ground.

“Where is she?!” Applejack demanded.

+++++

“I have no idea of any other way of telling you girls this, so I’ll speak plainly.” The doctor unicorn removed his glasses with his magic and carefully wiped them with a soft cloth before continuing. “In all my years of medical practice, I have never seen a pony with as much constitution as your friend. It’s almost... frightening.”

“What does that mean, doc?” Applejack was brought to the hospital by her friends. The usually quiet building was flooded with injured ponies and sweat-slick hospital workers. The air beheld the battle between the stenches of sterility and tangy blood. The atmosphere was abuzz with the murmur and moans of the sick and the urgent shouts of the doctors and nurses. The surgeon they were talking to looked particularly haggard. The bags under his eyes told of built-up fatigue from being woken up in the dead of the night and put to work immediately. He’s been up ever since.

“It means that, against all odds, your friend Fluttershy is still alive. We had to shock her heart back, but once it started beating again, it showed no signs of stopping.”

“Can we see her?” Twilight asked hopefully.

The doctor sighed. “Under normal conditions, we wouldn’t allow that, but these aren’t normal conditions, and I know how much you care for your own, Twilight. I let you all see her, but only for a few minutes. Nurse Redheart will show you to her room. I have many more patients to attend to.” Without any more pleasantries, he clopped off briskly. A preened white earth-pony nurse bid Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Dominic, and Ellis to follow her down the hall. They passed by roomed with bandaged ponies, all groaning in pain. The sharp blips of monitors echoed across the building. The hospital had never received so many injured patients at one time, some of the rooms had three or even four ponies in them all at once. The smell of antiseptic intermingling with pus wafted through the air all throughout. The group finally came to the end of the hall, where Nurse Redheart promptly veered to the left and entered a small room.

Applejack stifled a gasp. There was Fluttershy, wrapped in gauze and hard casts, carefully propped onto a bed in such a way that her wings threaded under metal bars, which allowed them to stick straight out without her weight pressed onto them. Her hind leg was suspended by a system of pulleys. Tubes ran to her forelegs, depositing blood to replenish what she had lost. The heartbeat monitor chimed out a steady rhythm of bleeps and her chest moved as a sign of proper respiration.

“She’s resting right now. We’ve done all we can for her.” The nurse explained, scanning through the clipboard. “She’s suffered three major fractures--both of her wings and her hind leg--and several minor fractures. Aside from some cuts and bruises, that’s about it.” She set down the diagnostic papers. “Given her rate of healing, she’ll make a full recovery. The doctor wasn’t kidding when he said your friend is a fighter. We’ve never seen somepony bounce back like that.”

Despite her encouraging words, Fluttershy’s friends could only look upon her ruefully. She had faced a monster all alone, and though she somehow survived, she was nearly torn to pieces. Twilight had to personally rush her to the hospital herself, eyes dripping with tears, mouth moving to its own accord, blubbering out words of assurance that she was going to be ok, that she wasn’t dead. The doctors shoved her off into the emergency room immediately, where they used their magic defibrillator to restart her heart and bring her back to the waking world. The last time Twilight saw her, she was awake, screaming in pain, half-yelling out what sounded like a name while being covered with white bandages and carted away to her room. For the rest of the group, this was the first time they saw her since her encounter with the Tank. But, of all the ones in the room who held the gentle pegasus close to their hearts, Ellis was the most upset.

“Goddammit.” He shambled to the achromatic wall. “God DAMN IT!” He slammed his white-knuckled fist into the wooden surface. Everypony jumped. “WHY DOES THIS HELL HAFTA KEEP FOLLOWING ME?! WHAT HAVE AH EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS?!?!”

“Ellis...” Applejack attempted to calm the human.

“Ah tried to get out! I fought an’ shot an’ killed my way out, but ah jus’ kept getting sucked back into it!” All of his pent-up rage and frustration was finally tearing through the now-impotent screen of optimism. “Ah lost EVERYTHING, an’ now, even when ah thought it was all over, that sonuvabitch followed me here tah ruin the lives a’ people that don’t have anything tah do with this!” He heeded not their disheartened looks and turned skyward to address one he had not addressed in a long time. “I haven’t done anything tah deserve this! They haven’t done anything tah deserve this! Why do you hafta keep tormenting me! I’m sorry, ok?! IS THAT WHAT YA WANTED TAH HEAR?!?!”

He finally ran out of breath and sank into a wooden chair beside the bed, his palms holding his face.

“A-ahm sorry. Ah never meant any a’ this tah happen...”

Applejack trotted up to his side. “Ellis...”

She was ignored. “Ah only wanted y’all tah be happy...”

“Ellis.”

“Guess that’s jus’ too much tah ask fer...”

“Ellis!”

“Maybe it woulda been better if we both died on that bridge like nature intended-”

*SMACK*

Everypony in the room didn’t so much as breath. Ellis brought his quavering hand up to the spot on his face where Applejack had hit him.

“D-don’t you EVER t-talk like that, Ellis! You may be just as sad and angry as we are about this, but if you ever start regretting the fact that yer still alive, so help me Celestia, ah will put you in a hearse mahself!” She threw her forelegs around him. “This ain’t yer fault. Nopony coulda known that... that thing came here with ya, an’ you certainly didn’t bring it here. Ah don’t know what did, or what it wants-”

“...Peace.”

They all turned their heads to the thought-to-be-sleeping pegasus on the bed. Fluttershy was awake. Her eyelids flitted half-open, as if that action alone took monumental effort. Her voice was so weak, so full of pain.

“Peace. All he wants is peace... He’s trapped inside of his own body, begging for release. I know, I saw it in his eyes. He may look like just a monster, but he used to be... a human. That human is still there, buried under all that rage... a-and agony...” Thin lines of moisture could be seen around the edge of her eyelids. She tilted her head to the human. “Ellis, I know it’s asking a lot, and it’s like nothing I’ve ever asked of anypony before, but he needs his rest... Eternal rest. There’s only one way to give him that.”

Twilight spoke before Ellis had a chance to respond. “Are you asking him to kill it?!”

With much sorrow, she nodded.

“This is incredibly uncharacteristic of you, Fluttershy.” Dominic said. “You believe this creature is beyond salvation?”

“He’s already been through so much; more than anypony should ever have to bear. He doesn’t want help... he just wants to be free of his torment...”

“I hear ya.” Ellis stood up from the chair. “Better tah die than to live as a monster.” He paused, unsure of what to next. Then, he kneeled down to the side of the small pony-sized bed and removed his hat. “Hey, ah may have not know ya for very long, but for what it’s worth, ahm sorry this had to happen to you.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Thank you, but don’t worry about me. I’ll... I’ll be fine.” She seemed to be nudging her head back to indicate Ellis to come closer. After a few tries, he finally got the message, leaning towards the injured pegasus to hear words only meant for him. She whispered softly in his ear.

“I don’t know why, but he seems to hate you the most.”

Ellis shrugged. “Ah may have called him ugly back at the bridge.”

She appeared to want to say more, but winced in pain as the strain she had put forth so far finally collapsed onto her. Putting herself back in resting position, her eyes shut once more.

“I think that’s long enough.” Interjected Redheart. “Come on, the patient needs her rest.”

Saying their last, heavy-hearted goodbyes, Fluttershy’s friends left the room. The nurse dismissed herself to return to her duties, of which she had no shortage of. There were many in the hospital who still needed treatment and care, and they had only a small workforce to do it. It was generous enough that she allowed them to stay for so long. So, the group traversed the hospital halls, intent on leaving the building, when Ellis caught sight of pallid fur and a hammer-and-nail cutie mark.

“Ball-Peen?” The human poked his head inside the room. The construction worker pegasus was sitting in a chair by the bed, conversing with the one laying on said bed. At the mention of his name, he turned around to find Ellis, smiled, and gestured for him to come inside.

“Guys? I’m gonna catch up with y’all later.” He called to his friends and entered the room. Peen pulled up a chair for him, and Ellis graciously accepted it.

“What brings you here, Elli?” The pegasus asked.

“Ah was ‘bout tah ask ya the same thing.”

“He’s here for me.” Said the pony on the hospital bed. Ellis didn’t recognize her at first, being wrapped in white cloth to the point of mummification, but he instantly realized it after hearing her voice and catching sight of her braided, auburn mane. Her foreleg was in a cast and her eyes were covered tight. She tilted her head towards the sound of Ellis’s voice.

“Oh, hey. Ah think ya took a heavy sum of bits from me.”

“You think that wasn’t fair?” She asked, surprisingly sincere-sounding.

“The price’a being a stupid jackass, ah guess.”

“Least you realize it. Most men wouldn’t let their ego take a blow like that. I like you for that. You come back to my bar any time, an’ if anypony gives you guff, leave ‘em to me.”

He was enjoying this lovely conversation, but Ellis had a more pressing question on his mind.

“What happened to ya, Rum? How’d you get in so bad a’ shape?”

She grumbled. “That bloody heathen of a monster tore through my tavern like propriety took a mental-health day. There are two sodding holes in the walls, my furniture is in shambles, an’ I’m here because it tossed me into my liquor shelves. I’ve probably got more cuts than coat!” Something extra crept into her voice; something that nopony had heard for a long, long time. It was fear. “I... I probably could have died. What a way to go, right? Covered head-to-hoof in gashes, lying in a puddle of your own booze while the alcohol slowly poisons you to death. I haven’t been the saintliest of souls, so they probably had a special, cozy place in Tartarus waiting for me.” She smiled and turned her head towards Ball-Peen. “But this lovely young lad carried me to the hospital.”

“I just... ya know... did what I could...” He stuttered.

“Don’t be so modest, whitey. Take pride in that you know how to treat a lady right.” She turned back to Ellis. “He’s been by my side ever since. It’s good to have company, ya know, and he’s quite charming. Wish I’d known him more a bit sooner. He’s just gotta learn how to come outta his shell.” Ball-Peen was blushing profusely.

“That’s great how y’all’r safe. What ‘bout Sawdust?”

“He’s fine. Came by here earlier.” Peen replied.

“Tried to pull my whitey away from me. With bowling.” Rum Run inserted. “Didn’t you blokes do that yesterday?”

Ellis shrugged. “Bowling’s pretty damn fun.”

“I can see why you guys would enjoy swinging your balls around.” She snarked.

After a small, hearty snickering fit, the human had nothing else to say.

“Well, ah can see you two have it all worked out, but ah think ah gotta deal with that monster problem. It came here with me, so it’s only natural that the responsibility should fall to me.” He got up and went for the door.

“Wait.” She stopped him. “So you really weren’t making it up? Your friend here had me in stitches when he said you told the same story sober, but they really seem to believe you, and given recent events, I’d be hard-pressed to dole out any feckless doubt. Come closer.”

Ellis obeyed, walking towards the sightless barkeeper.

“If you’re going to deal with it, then do me a small favor. Go to my bar and take the door to my cellar. Take the strongest bottles you can find and use it against that bastard!” She lowered her voice to a menacing whisper. “He wrecked my bar and threw me aside like leftover dandelions. I want you to burn him for me, savvy?”

Ellis’s face twisted into a wicked grin.

“Ma’am, it would be mah genuine pleasure.”

+++++

It took it from her.

Pinkie Pie moped into her darkened room. All the shades were drawn. Little sunlight touched the colorful decor of her bedroom. All the colors seemed to be just as melancholy as the only inhabitant of that area. Her slackened mane brushed the floor as her heavy hoofsteps brought her across the floor and to her bed. There was no more crying for her. Her pillow was already soaked with tears. She merely lay in her bed, sunken in the soft folds of her fluffy pillow-top mattress, recumbent in her own despondency. Pinkie didn’t feel like being happy. She didn’t feel like smiling, or laughing, or partying... All of that was sucked out of her when that slab of stone came crashing down on her party supplies. She works hard to earn those bits for her decorations. She supports the party shop owner as a frequent customer. He was a good friend. Now, he’s in a full-body cast, laying on a bed in a room with three other similarly injured ponies. All because of the monster.

That thing...

It took it from her...

Her party... Her efforts to make welcome the one she had erred. The one that she had shunned when everypony else accepted him... She had so much planned to make it up to him. To bake him all the cupcakes anypony could ever want and play games and tell jokes and sing karaoke... All gone on the careless whim of a mindless beast...

She felt something ignite within her heart.

The nerve...

The arrogance...

The audacity!

HOW DARE IT DO THIS TO HER!!!

With reckless fury, of which she had not experienced in a long time, she leapt off of her mattress and thrashed around blindly. Tables were knocked over, stuffed animals went flying. She became a hurricane of ruinous anger. The potent emotion emotion took hold of her body and made it act without her brain. Her pet alligator, Gummy, who was standing on top of a stool, blinked his eyes out of sync and stared at the howling mare phlegmatically. She screamed and bucked and raged until her room was a lurid mess. Pinkie Pie sat in the middle, panting hard, basking in the bitter glow of her destructive release.

It wasn’t enough. She still felt hatred, hatred without anywhere to channel it. She thirsted for vengeance. Somepony needed to be punished.

With renewed purpose, she strode to her dresser. Going to one side of it, Pinkie gave a mighty heave and pushed the flamboyant furniture aside, revealing a small door. She yanked a key--decorated with an icon of a cupcake--out from under her candy-colored mane and thrust it into the keyhole, turning the tumblers and unlatching the bolt. The door swung open.

It was her stash of surprises; a collection of all the things she used for practical jokes or super-special occasions. It was more spacious than the entrance. Leaning against one wall was her trusty Party Cannon next to a stack of confetti-filled ammunition. It was only one item to her gratuitous arsenal. The store was filled to the brim with weapons of mass celebration, and any of them could be re-purposed. Streamer-firing crossbows, balloon bazookas, tasty treat-throwing trebuchets... none of them were good enough. She had to go right to the latest and greatest.

She squeezed herself through the door and tiptoed her way to the very back. There sat a reinforced chest, one that she had never opened before. The party pony had declared it too powerful for her soirees and too dangerous for pranks. She never found the right niche for it. Not until now. Flipping the the latches open, the dust-caked lid was pried off, releasing the intoxicating odor of freshly-manufactured goods. Pinkie Pie drank the scent in deeply. A twinkle shimmered in her cerulean eyes.

“That big meanie will get his just desserts!”

Pray Harder

I was busy.

Fighting aliens.

In spess.

Have your free entertainment now.

“Bon-Bon?”

The confectioner fidgeted side to side. She was slowly being withdrawn from the encompassing darkness of her sleep. Something nudged her foreleg.

“Bon-Bon?”

Finally placed back into the waking world, Bon-Bon cracked her eyes open. She was in her bedroom; the annoying striped wallpaper she never got around to replace indicated that. Her body felt uncomfortably warm under her sheets. Releasing a groan, she messily pushed the covers off of her and let the cool morning air regulate her temperature. She knew this particular lethargy. Again, it seems, she ate too much candy, fell asleep too late, and woke up bone-tired from the craziest dream she had ever dreamt in... probably forever. It was more akin to a nightmare. She attempted to recall some of it before it faded away forever. Some horrible-looking monster attacked the town. She was running for her life, trying not to look back, when she--quite literally--ran into her good friend Lyra. But it was not the Lyra she knew, it was some hybrid creature that half-looked like Lyra, but the other half had pale flesh, two extra limbs, and a peculiarly flat face. She could recall no more, which probably indicated the point when she woke up. Bon-Bon had no idea how or why her subconscious conjured up these ludicrous, surreal things in her sleep, but she dismissed it like every other strange dream, assuring herself that it wasn’t reality.

She was nudged on her foreleg again. Odd... It felt like something was wrapped around it. “Hey! Bon-Bon! You awake?”

She sighed. It was her roommate, Lyra, being obnoxious as ever. She may have been her friend since she was a little filly, but there was a good reason why Bon-Bon strove to wake up early every morning: So she wasn’t woken up by her. At least she didn’t use the miniature gong-

*BWAASHHHHHH!!!*

“Are you awake now?”

“YES! I’M AWAKE!!” She yelled. Out of spite, she didn’t bother turning to her direction, which was the other bed to the left of her. She just continued to stare at the annoying wallpaper.

“Ok, cool... I thought you went into a coma or something.”

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes. “Better luck next time, right?”

“I hope not...”

“You know what?” She felt her temper flare again, but she didn’t bother to quell it. She felt it completely justified to berate her friend from being so Celestia-damned abrasive. “Why can’t you just leave me alone for once, huh? Do you feel that it is your sworn duty to make my life miserable? Do you think it’s funny when I squirm?”

“No, it’s just... I thought...”

“I can’t even get away from you in my dreams! You were there, except you were some... mutant thing.”

Lyra said nothing for a long time. “You... thought that was a dream?”

A jarring sensation hit Bon-Bon. It made her put into question her initial assumption of the fantasy she experienced. The memories didn’t fade away. They were real. The monster, the running, the town in panic and ruins, Lyra...

Bon-Bon turned around.

“OH MY CELE-*hhmmphh!*”

“Please, please, please don’t freak out.” She tried to calm her writhing friend, her hand clamped firmly over her mouth. Still, she struggled, wide-eyed, attempting to twist out of the centaur’s grip. She persisted for a few more seconds, but then started to get weary of it. Lyra held fast.

“Ok.” She said after Bon-Bon had stopped thrashing. “I’m going to let you go, and then I’ll tell you what happened. You gotta promise me that you won’t scream, alright?”

With quivering eyes, the candy-maker nodded her head.

“Ok. I’m gonna let you go now.” She release her. Bon-Bon sat in place for a moment.

Then sprinted for the doorway.

“No!” Lyra leapt up and caught the terrified mare before she could make it across the room. She kicked and flailed with all her might.

“Help! Help me! Somepony-” The hand was forced over her mouth again.

“Bon-Bon, please! Don’t run away from me! Aren’t we still friends?”

That seemed to have an effect. She slackened, ceasing all attempts of breaking free. Lyra let go of her mouth.

“I’m sorry... I wasn’t thinking...” She admitted. The centaur released her from her arms and gently set her on the ground. Bon-Bon observed Lyra’s new form closely for the first time. She was still wearing Dominic’s red sash around her chest. Besides the fact that she never bothered to take it off, it made running a little more comfortable for her.

“What happened to you? How did you get like this?”

Lyra met her eyes with such remorse. “I... I messed up, Bon-Bon. I messed up bad.” She lowered herself to the floor. “I snuck into that alchemist’s lab. You know, the one near Everfree? I... took one of his potions. I didn’t care for my own safety. I... I threatened to... to...” She couldn’t speak any further. Bringing her hand to her face, she tried not to break down in front of her friend. “I-I’m sorry. I think you were right. I think I am crazy...”

Bon-Bon comforted her friend as best as she could. “It doesn’t matter, Lyra. You can be... difficult sometimes, but I’ll still be your friend, no matter what you look like.”

“But now I’m stuck like this forever!”

“What?!”

Lyra pulled away. How would she explain something like this?

“Well... uh... I kinda-sorta drank all of it. A good couple liters. Dominic--that’s his name--he said I’m stuck like this for the rest of my life for doing that.”

“Isn’t there an antidote?”

She shook her head. “He said no and told me why that wouldn’t work.” Lyra paused. “...I forgot what he said. His breath stinks really bad, by the way.”

Bon-Bon took a few steps back, eyes to the ground. “I’m sorry about that, Lyra, That you have to live like this for the rest of your life.”

“It’s not so bad.” She said, her gloom evaporating almost instantly. “I mean, at least I got these babies!” She held up her hands and flexed her slim fingers. “Just as good as magic! I can still play my lyre.”

The confectioner raised an eyebrow in scepticism.

“No, really! They’re awesome!” She moved a little closer. “Just feel them!”

Bon-Bon flinched away. “No, that’s ok. I take your word for it...”

“No, wait! Just let me run ‘em through your mane!”

“Lyra, I really don’t-”

“It’s harmless!” The hand still moved closer.

“Really, Lyra, I-” The hand met the curly strands of her mane, penetrating the thick, bundled layers of the hair and touching her scalp. Slowly, the hand ran down the length of her neck. A tingling sensation drained all the tightness from her muscles. She cooed unintentionally, but inaudibly. Bon-Bon shuddered as Lyra’s hand pulled back.

“Good?” She asked.

“Yeah...” Her friend replied, eyes fluttering.

“Again?”

“Yes~”

She moved her hand towards her friend again, but this time she went for the chin, then the neck. Bon-Bon rolled onto her back, legs splayed. The centaur began rubbing her chest while the pony lay staring off into space, tongue hanging out of her mouth.

“Can you rub a bit lower?” Bon-Bon requested. Lyra complied.

“Lower.”

Lyra went lower again, but with more hesitation.

“Lower.”

Lyra only went an inch downward, staying on the belly, the expression of discomfort plain on her human face.

“Lower~!” Bon-Bon said while a moan forced its way out of her throat.

“Wow, Bons,” Lyra retracted her hand. “This is getting kinda weird...”

The confectioner whipped her hoof out and stopped her hand. She glared a deathly gaze at her friend.

“Don’t you dare stop.”

+++++

Applejack waited outside of the hospital with her friends. Rarity and Pinkie Pie had to leave for their homes. Only the librarian and the alchemist remained. Ellis said he wouldn’t be long, but the wait was starting to agitate Twilight, who could not stand to be idle while the town was in ruins. Dominic, in his patience, sat on the other side of the doorway, humming some sad tune she did not recognise.

She hated it. She hated to see Ponyville like this. With every breath she took, she could smell smoke and fear through her nostrils. She could smell blood and broken spirits. Never in the history of the quaint village had anything like this happened. Applejack never would have thought that only a small taste of Earth’s dystopia would have this impact. Ellis said that there were at least dozens or even hundreds of these “Tanks” back where he come from, and all it took was just one of them to rend the ponies’ peace-loving society to shreds. She felt the festering sickness of melancholy wedge itself into her stomach again. As much as she wanted to be happy, fate just decides to take another course. Off to the side, Dominic suddenly blinked, as if he remembered something, and grumbled to himself inaudibly. He probably forgot to do something back at his lab.

Applejack’s thoughts were shifted to the Tank itself. Only anger and hate were present in the subject of monsters for the farmpony, but Fluttershy had reminded them all that the monster was once human... like Ellis. How could something so unassuming turn into something so big and scary? What kind of evil force does this “Green Flu” command to make such a horrible abomination? For the first time, she wondered about the human behind the monster. Was he as kind and carefree as Ellis? Did he have a wife? Children of his own? Did it matter? Everything about his previous life was gone, for he had been reincarnated into a mindless beast. Insanity tore at the frayed edges of his mind until he gave way to the corruption, forming the hellion he was today. It was only a monster with an insatiable lust for violence and destruction. It didn’t care for the victim its wrath ensnared, nor the hopes and dreams of the ponies who were unlucky. It killed some of the townfolk, she knew. The downfall of being the Element of Honesty is that she must be brutally honest with herself. There was nothing they could do to stop it, either. The Royal Guard was miles away, the Elements were scattered, and she wasn’t there, a fact that she would never forgive herself for.

That brought up a curious question: What made it leave?

That thought was cut short as the hospital doors opened and Ellis’ tall, bipedal figure stepped out. Immediately standing up, Applejack went to greet him.

“What was that all ‘bout?” She asked.

“Mah friend was there. We talked a bit.” He paused. “Listen, Applejack, Twilight... There’s somethin’ ah gotta do. Can ah get mah machete back from ya?”

“Ellis,” Twilight spoke. “I’m not sure if I can do that. The mayor said-”

“Things have changed, Twilight.” Dominic interrupted. “A monster just ran amok in your town, and the human is the only one who knows how to destroy it. Were you prepared to take action after the Tank had gone?”

She said nothing.

“That’s what I thought. If he’s going to remedy this problem, then he must at least be equipped for it.”

“We’re gonna hafta tell the mayor ‘bout this, though.” Said Applejack. “We can’t keep her in the dark, ‘specially at a time like this.”

“And she shall hear about it.” Dominic said. “The well-being of Ponyville falls to her. It’s only fair.” He turned to Twilight. “You retrieve his weapon while we inform Miss Mare. Are we in agreement?”

“Sounds like a plan, man.” Ellis confirmed.

“I’ll be right back.” The librarian almost turned to gallop off. “Where should I meet you guys?”

“Either at your library or...” He trailed off when he noticed that the townsfolk were wandering in the same direction. Twilight approached one of them.

“Excuse me.” She got the attention of the brown, hourglass cutie mark colt. “Where is everypony going?”

“The mayor’s called another meeting.” He replied. “Every able-bodied pony is to attend and such.” With that, he trotted off with the flow of the crowd.

“Why do ah keep seeing that guy everywhere?” Ellis queried.

“That’s Doctor Whooves. He’s pretty busy, from what I’ve heard. Has a lot of places to go to.” Twilight answered.

“Well, I suppose that is where we’ll be joining up, then.” Dominic concluded. “Find us at the meeting after you reclaim his weapon. We may not have much time before it comes back...” Everyone took a wary glance at Everfree Forest.

“I’ll be back soon!” Said Twilight. Without another word, she galloped off to her home.

“Come on, y’all!” Applejack spoke up. “Ah have a feelin’ it’ll start soon!”

+++++

The library door creaked open to reveal the darkened room behind it. Twilight carefully stepped inside and used her faintly glowing magic to shut the door behind her. The house was strangely quiet.

“Spike?” She called. “Spiiiiike?” No answer. That was strange...

She continued upstairs to her bedroom. Zecora was still in her bed, right where she left her. The zebra was laying on her back, legs splayed in an unladylike fashion, snoring up an earthquake with the bedsheets in shambles around her. Twilight couldn’t help but giggle at the contrast between the mysterious, collected witch-doctor and her languid sleeping habits. She didn’t know her personally, being almost as reclusive as Dominic was, but it seemed she wasn’t as different as one might think. She had her... quirks, just like everypony else.

But now was not the time to muse. There was a monster on the loose somewhere in Everfree Forest that only Ellis knew how to combat. She needed to find his knife as soon as possible, though she couldn’t see how that comparatively small thing could hurt that hulking thing. It was the only weapon Ellis had when he came here, so they would have to make due. Somehow.

Twilight illuminated the enchanted cubbyhole with her unicorn horn. She was surprised how well the spell held up. All physical enchantments naturally decayed over time--unless it was imbued with magical runes, but she didn’t have the time nor the proper reason to do so--and the effectiveness of the illusion would wear with it. Though it was dark, it seemed her invisible wall was still as perfect as the day she casted it. The spell itself wasn’t particularly advanced or powerful, but it was more difficult than the usual spells she casts day to day. She expected the wall would have at least lost some detail within 24 hours, but it’s been more than two days and none of the magic has deteriorated. Her skills must have been improving. She took pride in that.

“Now, to dispel it.” She thought to herself. The process of dispersing the illusion was simple, but she was a bit crestfallen that such a prime example of her gift with magic had already run the course of its usefulness. Why, if Princess Celestia wasn’t so busy, she would invite her over to see it...

“No!” She chided herself. Now was not the time to get attached to little things. With a bright spark of magic, a bead of sparkling power floated from the tip of her horn and flew towards the cubbyhole. As soon as it connected, the barrier dissolved into a shower of magic dust, causing Zecora to turn a bit in irritation. The air cleared and Twilight looked into the compartment.

The machete was gone.

Twilight blinked. Frantically, she searched the recess. The books and everything else that was there prior was still present, but the sheathed weapon was nowhere to be found. The librarian started to panic. How could have it been gone? Was it taken? Her spell was perfect! Nopony could have seen past it. Did she accidentally misplace it and didn’t remember? NO, she wouldn’t do something as careless as that. She kept track of everything, and what she couldn’t keep track of, she left Spike to do it... Hold on...

She looked again. Her suspicions were confirmed, for the machete was not the only thing that was gone. The bag of pearls was gone as well. Twilight snorted in frustration.

“Spike...”

+++++

“SPIIIIKE!!!”

With his deadly, massive blade in claw, Spike turned to meet the source of the tremors that shook the earth to its core. From the hardened rock of the burning battlegrounds rose a towering, chitinous abomination. Its body was as black as death itself. Its mandibles spat out a combination of frothing spittle and pure malice. Its beady, red eyes penetrated the soul of all who dared to meet its gaze. It cast a great shadow, blotting out the blood-red sun for Spike and his comrades, who were engaged in furious battle all around him against the twisted creatures that came from beneath the ground. Giant, insectoid arms ending in honed, razor-sharp talons churned crumbling rock beneath its weight as it stomped towards its foe: the one they call Spike the Monster Slayer. Its terrible voice rang over the din of war, as loud as a thousand cannons and deep as the Hell from whence it came.

“Spike!” It repeated as it clawed closer. “Your insolence will be tolerated NO LONGER! Many of my kin you have slain, but they were weak; their chitin was not as thick as their resolve, but now you face ME!” It reared up, displaying the segmented, natural armor it so prided. Harder than the strongest steel and more dense than the most stalwart of heroes, its body was a timeline of a millennia of battle. Gouges and scorch-marks covered every inch, none of them ever came close to defeating the behemoth.

“Many have tried to best me, but their efforts were for naught! I have endured centuries of conflict, killed your greatest champions, toppled many of your petty, mortal kingdoms with my own claws! You are but a speck to me!” Its thunderous voice was paired with the foul stink of his breath. It was the smell of despair and a thousand opened graves. The very presence of this monstrosity would make any regular dragon cower with fear, but Spike stood his ground, heroically stoic to this horror.

“I am going to destroy you--slay the slayer--and then all of Equestria will meet the same fate!” It made sweeping gestures with his ebony limbs. “Nothing will stop me from erasing everything you love from the face of the earth!” Its beady, red eyes gazed upon the insignificant figure of the dragon. “Including your... betrothed.”

Rarity...

A low growl surfaced from his throat. With muscles strung tight as the mighty steel cable of a ballista, he raised his glittering blade to a ready position.

“You shall not lay a talon on her, fiend!” Spike snarled through gritted teeth. He didn’t actually know what “fiend” meant, but it came naturally to him. It seemed like the right word to use to describe something that would dare hurt Rarity. “Your tyrannical reign of fear is over! You may have killed our great champions before, but you shall not have me, this fair land, or my fair lady!”

The great towering abomination bellowed forth gargled laugh. “Such petty, foolish sentiment. A great shame you cannot win battles with WORDS!” It raised his massive limb above its head, ready to bring it down on the warrior. “I will send you to the fiery pits of Korr like the gnat you are!”

The talon came hurling down on the battle-ready champion with the force of a hundred battering rams. Spike stood unmoving, poised to take action. The limb impacted the ground and the monster widened all eight of its eyes. It pulled back, screaming out a horrific wail from its thrashing mandibles, clutching the wound on its hand that was gushing out black ichor. Spike was on one knee, holding his greatsword, covered head-to-foot in the lifeblood of his foe. A crater had formed around him where he stood.

“I think I will prove to be more of a challenge!” The dragon shouted defiantly.

“Gah! Insolent creature! You mortals shall know your place soon enough!!” Holding aside its bleeding palm, it took another massive swipe with another of his many arms. Spike jumped backwards, feeling the vivid sensation of a gust of turbulence cooling the layer of slick blood on his scales as the claw missed him by mere inches. He executed a perfect roll and dodged another attack. The behemoth made its second mistake by using another overhead strike, which the dragon warrior sidestepped instinctually. For a moment, the razor talons were embedded in the ground. The monstrosity used its massive strength to wrench it out, but before that, Spike devised a plan to use this error to his advantage, hopped onto the limb, and charged up the arm towards the beast’s head.

“You dare?!” It slapped its palm on its arm in an attempt to rid the pest once and for all, but Spike dodged it flawlessly and continued up the monster’s chitinous appendage. Seeing that that didn’t work, it shook the arm vigorously. Spike stumbled and tried to keep purchase on his arm, digging his claws into the armored shell as much as he could, but he couldn’t hold on forever. Then he was hit with a brilliant tactic. Timing it correctly, he let go when the arm was swinging upward. Launched by the creature’s own force, the warrior soared through the air, arcing towards the twisted face of the abomination. The beast could see his undoing before his eyes and attempted, in vain, to stop it. He backpedaled on his towering legs and lashed at the air to ground his attacker. The dragon evaded these strikes in mid air while still rocketing down to his target, the eyes. He reversed the grip on his sword, tip down at his enemy. His cape billowed and fluttered in the wind as he gave a powerful warcry.

The sword connected with the soft flesh of its eye and sank hilt-deep. The monster shrieked in agony.

“Spike!” It gurgled with its blood cascading to the ground like black rain. “What are you doing?!”

Spike yanked out his sword and slashed away at the incoming claws before stabbing into the next eye. The ichor coated every inch of his body. Another warped howl exploded from its mouth.

“I’m slaying you, vile monster! Nothing as evil as you could possibly live forever!” Batting away more attempts to knock him off, Spike swung down below the creature’s jaw and proceeded to try and pry off its segmented armor with his mystical flamberge. He thrust into the soft part between the plates, gripped the handle with both claws, planted his feet firmly on the beast’s surface, and pulled with all his might. The behemoth felt this.

“Spike! Where are you? Are you down here?” That was no good. The armor was too firmly attached, and Spike feared that he would be dismounted before he got it off. All of Equestria was counting on him to defeat this menace and bring peace to the land. He couldn’t lose now! Grunting with effort, he put more strength into his pull. His muscles screamed in pain, but he could feel the armor start to snap off its tendons. Strange... the last time the monster spoke, it sounded off. Higher pitched. More feminine. More... familiar.

There was a sharp snap and the armor came off partway. A roar of agony and wounded pride followed. That same armor had stayed in place for centuries, and now the realization that it may be the end began to dawn on the monster. It thought it was indestructible. Nothing is indestructible.

Still, the beast would fight to the end. He tried to claw the infiltrator off of his armor, but Spike had already shifted position. He now had the handle of his blade on his shoulder, giving more push to the lever, driven by pure determination. He was partly protected by the creature’s own defenses.

“Spike! Where are you?!” The voice came again. He had to keep going, even though his body was begging for him to stop. Just a little further...

“SPIKE!!!”

“Twilight?”

The baby dragon dropped the machete. As it clattered to the floor, the illusion shattered. The smell of blood and smoke was replaced with the smell of dust. The sounds of battle were replaced with the silence of the library’s candle-lit basement. The gigantic monster was no longer. Instead, a couple of slapdash wooden dummies were there, chipped away by the hacking of his dull blade. And there was the unicorn known as Twilight Sparkle, looking at him with such burning contempt. Spike couldn’t find any excuse.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” She berated.

“I... uh... um...” He looked at the fallen machete as he stuttered out the words. “Stuff?”

Twilight couldn’t even begin to fathom the proper words to chide her assistant. She started by taking the knife with her magic and glaring down at Spike hard.

“This is a dangerous weapon, Spike! You could have hurt yourself with it!” She paced around him, her anger disallowing her to stay in one place. “All of Ponyville is in ruins from a giant monster, and here you are playing with Ellis’s knife like... like a toy!”

“N-no! It’s not like that!” He blurted defensively. “I didn’t know it was his! I swear! I... I just...”

“DON’T TALK BACK TO ME!” Twilight shouted. Whatever words Spike would have said became lodged in his throat. “I thought you knew better! I thought you had an ounce of common sense in you! I thought you had an ounce of respect for me in you! Evidently not, because here I am, scolding you like a child! Do you have any rational reason for doing...” She pointed to the crude dummy. “Doing this?!”

Spike was taken aback by just how angry she was. She was never this angry, not even when she found that charred book he kept from her. She only talked sternly to him. This was different. It scared him.

“I-I don’t know... I just... pick it up... and I start seeing things. Things that I’ve never seen before...”

Twilight stopped him before he could carry on with this manure. She bucked the dummy to pieces before his eyes. Splinters clattered to the floor, and Spike gasped as all the work he put into those was ruined.

“I don’t have time to put up with your lies, Spike! Everypony in town is reeling from what happened last night, and I...” She faltered for a split-second, blinking off into space like she was thinking inwardly. The edges of her eyes became moist. “You don’t even acknowledge that... just... ponies died, Spike! Nopony will ever see them again! It may be a foal who’s lost his mother, or a colt who’s lost his best friend. They’re gone, and... and I couldn’t... I didn’t...” Her emotions threatened to go into a landslide. She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut.

“Where’s the cover?” She said curtly.

“Over there.” Spike pointed to the strap sitting by the doorway. He couldn’t bear to look at her.

Twilight picked up the sheath, put the machete in it, and walked out with only a suppressed sniffle.

He didn’t know exactly how or why, but Spike felt like dirt. He didn’t know that the town was destroyed. He didn’t know anything about how serious the situation was outside. Still, he felt the shame come all the same. Here he was, acting out a delirious fantasy while suffering took place elsewhere. His rump fell to the cold, stone floor. He sat there in the light of the flickering candles, quivering, trying his hardest not to cry. Warriors don’t cry... warriors are tough as nails, but Spike knew that he was no warrior. He was just... a stupid idiot who thought he was a warrior. Still, he held back his tears, because despite the fact that he knew he was just the baby dragon assistant of a librarian, who he loved like a sister, he kept telling himself that warriors don’t cry.

Upstairs, he could barely make out Twilight sobbing loudly in the lobby.

+++++

Outside the town hall, where the last meeting took place, the entirety of the town waited before the stage. Unlike last time, however, there was no excited buzz amongst the crowd, only quiet, disconcerted murmurs. Everywhere they looked they beheld the chaos of the rampaging beast. There was no part of town one could go without being reminded of the destruction that took place prior. Even the very ground they stood on was broken and churned. Sometimes, one would find that there were entire chunks of cobblestone that were missing, only to discover the missing piece embedded into a building. Some ponies lost their possessions, some lost their homes, some even lost their loved ones. Though tragic, death was a thing most ponies could accept. Everypony had to die someday. Murder, however, was something they couldn’t. In the near-utopian Equestrian society, virtually nopony had a reason to kill another. It wasn’t completely unheard of, of course, but Ponyville has not experienced anything like this since its founding nearly a hundred years ago.

There was movement on the stage. A somber Mayor Mare came slowly trotting up to the podium, a slip of paper in her mouth. There were bags under her eyes, evidence of her lack of rest and the weight of the town’s tragedy set firmly on her back. Her greyish-white was not as neatly kept as it usually was. The burden she had to bear was unspeakable. She barely knew how to cope with it. Any lesser mayor would have given up, but even in the worst of times, Miss Mare had always stuck with it. She promised the ponies of Ponyville that she would uphold the law and the well-being of the town, no matter what the personal cost. The piece of paper was placed on the podium.

“Citizens of Ponyville.” She announced through the mic. Everypony hushed almost immediately. “Thank you all for coming, and... bless all who couldn’t make it...” She stole a moment of silence. Then, she got right to business. She didn’t want to waste her breath on mindless pleasantries. “I regret to announce the statistics of the results of the attack last night. WE have a total of thirty-nine injured, three critical, and... nine dead.”

Not a soul in the crowd dared to even draw a breath.

“But...” She went on to say. “We shall persevere like we always have. We will mourn the loss of those who did not live to see today, and we will rebuild what has been destroyed. On the subject of the monster, I have sent a letter to Canterlot requesting troops from the Royal Guard. They will protect our borders. In time, this tragedy will be forgotten. Let us hope that, with care and caution, nothing like this will ever happen again.”

When her head turned to the ground, the ponies knew that the major’s speech was done. Short and simple. Mayor Mare didn’t have any affinity for soaring speeches, and if she did, now would not be the proper time. Her will was hanging by a thread. She had much work to do.

+++++

“Ya sure, man? She’s up on stage.”

“We will not get another chance to convene with her.” Replied Dominic. “She’ll bury herself in paperwork as soon as she steps inside of her office.”

Ellis wiped the sweat from under his hat. “Alright, but if this goes sideways, it’s on you.”

Ignoring, or just not plain not hearing the grumbles of irritation from the dark earth pony, Ellis jaunted up the brief stairway that lead to the stage floor and got the attention of the mayor. When Mayor Mare caught sight of the human, her expression turned sour. He was the last... thing she wanted to see right now.

“Hey, uh... Miss Mare! Ah wanted tah talk to ya fer a sec!”

The mayor scowled. “What could you possibly want now of all times?”

Ellis stopped right in front of the politician at the front of the podium to catch his breath. The remaining crowd of ponies all became interested in the presence of the human.

“Now hear me out, Ma’am. Ah know ya got a lot on ya an’ stuff, but ah kin help. Ah kin take care a’ yer monster, if ya just let me have mah machete back.”

The mayor’s glare intensified. “Why on earth would I allow you to help with anything! You’ve done nothing but act like a buffoon since you got here! You’ve ran across town screaming at least three times and instigated a drunken brawl!”

The human shifted uncomfortably. “Now in mah defense, only half of those were my fault.”

“I’ve stuck my neck out for you, too! All yesterday morning I’ve been conversing with the chief of police, convincing him to not arrest you for public disturbance!” She pressed on aggressively. “You know what you are? A foal! A childish foal! I don’t care about where you're from, or what you’ve done, but your actions clearly speak for themselves!”

Ellis grimaced, but recovered. “Yeah, ah know ah’ve been actin’ kinda stupid, but jus’ listen to me. Y’all have no idea what yer up against!”

“I have the royal guard on its way, straight from Canterlot. Any monster, no matter how big or vicious, will think twice if they it sees the golden armor of Celestia’s chosen few!”

Applejack and Dominic caught up with him on stage. They watched the argument swing back and forth with intent.

“But that’s just it, Ma’am! It ain’t some rampaging wildlife creature from some parts unknown!”

“What are you saying?”

“It ain’t gonna back down from any show a’ force. It don’t think no more, it just kills.” Ellis explained darkly.

For a Moment, Mayor Mare said nothing. She inhaled a long, quiet gasp to calm her nerves. Before long, though, she regained her perpetually cool composure. She couldn’t let fear and uncertainty overtake her now. She had an example to set.

“And how do you know this, hmm? How is it that you’re suddenly a monster expert?”

Ellis hesitated. “Well... Ah’ve dealt with these things before.”

“From where? Where did this creature come from?”

A little voice inside his head told him that he was being played. Mayor Mare wasn’t the best at verbal skirmishing, but she had a way with words, a few tricks, and Ellis was an easy target. Nonetheless, the mechanic stuttered out an answer.

“It came from where ahm from.”

The facts were becoming clearer to Miss Mare. She had him on the anvil. Now it was time to bring down the hammer.

“What are you saying? How did it get here?”

Ellis paused for a moment, unsure of what to say. “Well, like ah’ve said before, ahm not really sure how ah got here, but it may have gotten here the same way-”

“IT CAME HERE WITH YOU?!”

She may have let too much anger and volume slip into her voice. She only wanted to be aggressive to get her point across. She knew Ellis’s type. He was a thick-skulled ignoramus that wouldn’t listen to reason if he set his mind to something. She only wanted to chide him into submission and get back to dealing with the problem on her own terms, but that idea completely dissolved in an instant. She felt as if her lungs iced over and her heart ceased to beat when she heard her shrill voice echo over the loudspeaker. She sensed the wide-eyed stares of shock and confusion locked on the stage coming from the crowd of ponies that still remained. The air itself held it’s breath and not a even a murmur was heard. Calm before the storm. Applejack, Dominic, Ellis, and Mayor Mare all went numb with dread.

She had, again, forgotten to turn off the microphone.

“Ah shit...” Said Ellis.

Like a spark catching on tinder, a hot flame was born into existence. From the tribulation of the common citizen who felt the panic of last night’s events, to the sorrow of those who lost their homes, to the agonizing grief of the few who lost a friend, family member, or loved one, the pendulum swung and that all turned to bitter rage. The assembled ponies began gritting their teeth and raising their voices, shouting curses and ugly obscenities at their nearest source of pain, which was Ellis. The fire spread, and soon, the entire crowd was consumed by dissent and anger. Gone was all rationality and compassion. Only chaos and the threat of absolute anarchy was present. Mayor Mare had her hooves rooted to the floor. Her heart was racing. She may have made the greatest mistake of her life. Maybe her last.

When she gained what was left of her senses, she made her way back to the podium. “Now, there’s no need to act violently! I’m sure-”

“He had something to do with this!” One bystander yelled.

“I knew no good would come of him!”

“How could you do this to us?!”

Mayor Mare had never had an angry mob on her hooves before, but from what she learned from her earlier days of apprenticeship, she knew there was no stopping the turbulent emotions that took hold on a large group of ponies. “It’s a spectacular phenomenon,” He used to say. “In the same manner a crowd could be fueled with adrenaline at a sporting event, they could also be roused into a singular entity of public unrest.” How he used to talk of it so nonchalantly. Being face-to-face to one was too terrifying for words. Meanwhile, Ellis slowly backed away while the crowd threatened to spill onto the stage like a pot of boiling water.

Then, Applejack pushed the mayor off the podium and sucked in a deep breath.

“WILL Y’ALL SETTLE THE HAY DOWN?!?!”

They did.

“Ahm darn near ashamed to live in a town where y’all lose yer heads at the first whiff a’ trouble! Whatever happened to compassion? Forgiveness? Love and tolerance?”

The majority cast their eyes downward.

“Ellis is guilty of nothin’ but the pursuit of happiness. He’s fought an’ bled for that goal, just as we’ve all had! When he came to Equestria, he had no friends, no family, an’ he owed nothin’ to us, but he put a smile on his face an’ worked to help Ponyville! He worked to earn your trust an’ become closer to those he met here. Ah’m proud to call him mah friend.

“There’s a monster out there, yes a monster that came from Ellis’s home, but it’s the same monster that destroyed his home as well. It’s his enemy as much as yours, except he’s fought them before. Now, he wants to help put it down fer good, an’ all you ponies kin think of is taking it out on the nearest unlucky fellow?”

The crowd was silent. They all felt regret.

“Pull yer heads outta the dirt, Ponyville! We’re better than this! Go home an’ think about how you’d feel in his position, but before you do, know that all this pain an’ sufferin’ ain’t fer nothin’. We’re gonna make sure this monster does no more harm. You have mah word.”

The crowd finally dispersed, heads hung low, trudging back to their homes. Applejack released a huge sigh, letting her muscles slacken before hopping off the podium and returning to the group with a smile.

“Ah think ah did good fer- OOF!”

She was caught breathless as Ellis stooped down and picked her up for a mighty, two-armed bear-hug.

“Thank ya, AJ. Outside the whole ‘zombie apocalypse’, that was the bravest thing anyone’s ever done fer me.”

He squeezed her hard. It was not unlike the constricting embrace when they first met, but differing from last time, Applejack hugged him back. While blushing up a storm, one might add.

“Ah’d do anythin’ for a good friend, Elli.”

While they were busy, a harrowed Mayor Mare slowly backed towards the door of city hall. She was stopped when she hit something solid, yet not wood, and her nasal passage was assaulted by the most horrific stench.

“Going somewhere, Miss?” Spoke a deep, rasping voice.

Gasping (and regretting the intake of air), she turned around to meet the eerie, deep-blue gaze of the alchemist Dominic. His breathing was slightly audible.

“Who are you?”

“Dominic, Miss. You may not know me, but that is due to me not concerning myself with politics these days. However, my associate still needs your express consent on the repossession of his weapon.”

“I... I can’t. I can’t let him put himself in harm’s way for the sake of my town.”

“Your town? I was under the most convincing impression that this town belonged to the citizens that resided within it.”

“But I was charged with protecting and governing it!”

“Maybe the only way to protect and govern it at this moment is accepting the help we are offering you.”

“I can do it myself!” She exploded. “It’s my duty, my responsibility! What good am I as a mayor if I can’t do that?!”

“Look at what is happening for one fausting second!” He shot back. “This is much bigger than you! You cannot possibly handle this yourself!”

“I can and I will! I owe them nothing less!”

Dominic narrowed his eyes. “That’s not what your father would have done.”

Mayor Mare’s eyes widened, but she gritted her teeth once more.

“You know nothing about my-”

“Mayor Mane? Yes, I just so happen to have known him quite well. He was a good leader. An inspiration. Wise beyond his age.” Dominic shook his head to rattle the memories and stared beyond the mayor. “I remember a quote of his, one he told you, I’m sure. ‘I could do so much for these ponies, but I am still but one pony. You must know, Gingersnap, that there are some things you cannot do alone.’”

She was speechless. She hadn’t heard that nickname since she was just a little filly. Tears almost flooded to her eyes, brought by the seemingly ancient feeling of nostalgia. There was no doubt that this strange stallion knew her father.

“...Or have you forgotten such words?” His gaze returned to her. “I believe you know what has to be done.”

+++++

Ellis and Applejack were just finishing their rather lengthy hug when Mayor Mare approached them. Slowly, she brought her eyes to the tall human.

“Ellis, I know we’ve had our differences, and admittedly, some of them were not entirely rational, but I had good reasons to doubt you. You came from nowhere. That alone was enough to raise suspicion.”

The mechanic had nothing to say. Now that he saw it from her perspective, he could see why she would distrust him.

“Your friend tells me you are able to help. I want to hear it from you.”

Ellis kneeled down to the aged politician to meet her at eye level.

“Miss, the last few weeks of mah life were a livin’ hell. Taking down a Tank ain’t a walk in the park, but ah’ve killed hunnerds of infected, an’ they only managed to kill me once ‘er twice.”

The mayor blinked in confusion.

“Er... The point is, these things trashed mah home an’ killed jus’ about everyone ah used to care for. Ah would give mah life--again--tah make sure that don’t happen here.”

She was silent for a moment. “Very well, If you say your intentions are truly selfless, then who am I to deny you. You may have your weapon back, as well as anything you require to do the job.” Mayor Mare clopped back to the town hall door and stepped inside.

“Thank, Miss! Ah won’t disappoint!”

She stopped just before she closed the door and looked back with weary eyes.

“Just... get rid of it.” The door slammed.

Dominic joined up with the group, receiving a raised eyebrow from Applejack.

“How the hay did you change her mind? Ah know the mayor. She ain’t the type to be swayed.”

The aged alchemist smirked. “I have a few methods of persuasion I’ve acquired over the years. Let’s dismiss the matter on that note.”

The farmpony scowled. “Now hold up! You can’t just-”

“Hey, Twilight!” Ellis suddenly shouted, cutting Applejack off in mid-thought. She and Dominic turned to see the librarian returning from her tree-home with the machete levitating beside her with a mystical, lavender aura. The human gave and exuberant wave with both arms in the air (as if he thought Twi couldn’t make out his stark appearance). The trio hopped off the stage and met Twilight halfway. Applejack noted that she looked as if she was dragging her hooves.

“Did the mayor say yes?” She croaked.

“Yeah. Red tape’s all cut an’ such.”

“Well here you go.” Ellis watched in fascination as his possession floated into his hand. Magic was still new to him, so it still left him in awe, no matter how small or nonchalant the use. Once the object was in his hand and the magic had dispersed, he unsheathed the blade and held it in front of his face, carefully inspecting it. Without proper warning to the others, began to swing it through the air. The ponies jumped back a few inches as the metal cut through empty space. Ellis brought it over his head, around his shoulder, behind his back, and to his right hand once more. He twirled it in his hand, twisting his wrist in familiar coordination. He tossed into the air, where it flipped twice and fell back into his palm. It was as if it was an extension of his body, not just a tool. A smile crept on his face and a hungry look seeped into his eyes.

“It’s good to have you back, old buddy...” Ellis sheathed the blade, fixed the strap over his shoulder, and turned back to Twilight.

“Thanks fer keepin’ it safe.”

“Sure thing...” She replied.

“What’s the matter?” He asked, perplexed. He kneeled down to get a better look at her face. “Have you been cryin’?”

She flinched away. “It’s nothing. Just... all the dust in the library. It got in my eyes.”

“Alright.” He stood up and turned to Applejack. “Well, we got one part of it. Rum Run said she’d supply me with some incendiary devices, but...” He trailed off.

“But what? We got everythin’ ya need tah get it done. What else could ya possibly need?”

“Believe it or not, AJ, a Tank is one ugly mother. It ain’t gonna even let me get close enough to use this, and if ah do get close enough, it’ll turn mah bones to gravel. Naw... every time ah’ve faced down one a’ these, ah had three other guys backing me up. With guns. Even then, it’s still a lead-absorbin’ sponge.”

“We’ll stand by ya, Ellis. We’ll help ya.”

“Aye.” Dominic agreed.

“‘Preciate it, but that won’t make a difference either.”

“You’d be surprised.” Twilight countered.

“It’s not that ah don’t think y’all can hold yer own, it’s just that, unless you kin shoot lasers outta yer eyes, it’s a suicide mission.”

“Well what can ya do?” Applejack queried while Twilight was still reeling from the “lasers from her eyes” notion. “Ya have everythin’ ya came with. What you have on yer back is probably the deadliest thing in Equestria right now!”

Ellis rubbed his chin in contemplation for a moment. He stood there for what was about thirty seconds before his hand dived into his pocket and he extracted a heavy cylinder made of plastic and brass. He turned the shell in his fingers, pondering deeply.

“It’s crazy, but it just might be possible...”

“What?”

He turned to Applejack. “You know a good blacksmith?”

“Wrought Iron. One’a the best smithies around. He trained in Stalliongrad.” She replied. “Why?”

+++++

Within the sweltering pits of the forge, an old pony worked. A steady beat of clangs resounded through the room, signaling each fall of the hammer. Sparks splashed out like white-hot water from every staccato of metal-on-metal. The place smelled of liquid iron and burning fuel. More clangs rang off the anvil before, finally, it ceased for a moment, and the noise of the room was replaced with the hissing sound of instantaneously vaporizing water.

Wrought Iron, a stallion in his early 80’s, wiped the buildup of perspiration on his brow with an overused rag while his unicorn magic brought the horseshoe out from the steaming pool of water and held it in front of him. From his worktable came a pair of pony-sized spectacles. Donning them on his face, he inspected his work, scrutinizing every square centimeter for flaws or irregularities. When there was none to be had, he smirked in satisfaction and willed it to a rack over by the wall, where it was hung with the rest of the newly-made horseshoes.

Taking a deep sigh, he carefully bent his neck until a cluster of small popping noises were heard. His mottled blue-and-grey coat was clumped with sweat and grime. He had a long, wiry, grey beard rolling from his chin, knotted in two places. He had some hair left on his scalp. He wished he had a bit more. His frosty eyes matched the white aura of his magic as it held his hammer. Now that his work has been done, he thought of appeasing the growling of his stomach that had been bothering him for the last hours of work. He thought of his wife cooking up a hearty supper at home. He thought of Granny Smith’s apple pies, and all other thoughts were pushed out of his head. He loved her pies. They were at the top of the things-he-couldn’t-do-without list. Life would be dull without the occasional taste of that sweet, flaky, tart flavor, with just a hint of cinnamon, and whatever unknown, but immaculate ingredient she puts in them.

There was a ring at the door as somepony entered the forge. His daydreams faded while the sound of steps descending the stone staircase was heard. From the hallway emerged Applejack, the sweetie that came by yesterday to have her grandmother’s gardening tools fixed. Her company was refreshing to Wrought. Following her was a figure that almost gave him a start. It was the strange, tall creature the orange farmpony spoke of yesterday. He furrowed his brow while he attempted to remember his name. It would come to him eventually. He set his hammer and adjusted his spectacles as he took his place behind his workbench, which doubled as a counter.

“Hello, sweetie. What can I do for you today?” A distressing thought came to him. “Oh dear, were those tools no good? I-I am sorry for any mistakes I made. The fire didn’t seem very hot yesterday...”

“The tools’r fine, Mr. Iron. Just like always. But ah ain’t here for fixin’ things. Ellis would like to ask somethin’ of ya.”

The human gave the blacksmith a wave and walked towards the table. “Nice to meet ya, Mister. This is askin’ a lot an’ all, but we got a problem on our hands, and ahm prepared tah pay whatever price tah get this done.”

He thought for a moment. “Is this about that monster?”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

“Hmm...” Wrought Iron had his share of toils during his time in the bleak, wintry lands of where he trained, but he had never been more fearful of his life and love than the events of the previous night. The commotion alone was enough to scare him and his wife half to death, but when they heard of a monster, he thought it was the end for sure. In the end, they came out unscathed, but the memories were still unnervingly fresh in his mind. If there was something he could do about it, then he would take that opportunity.

“I’ll help, but what did you have in mind?”

The human’s hand was clenched around some sort of small object. What it was, Iron did not know. He would soon find out.

“Well, to put it simply,” The shell was placed on the table in front of him. “We got a special order tah fill.”

Official Instructions

It was a tremendous undertaking to say the least. Wrought Iron was charged with creating a weapon, something he hasn’t done since he left Stalliongrad nearly 40 years ago. Weapons were not unheard of in Equestria. All manner of swords and knives were put into use from border to border. They were fairly simple. A sharpened piece of steel could be a great peacekeeper in the right hooves, fending off all manner of beasties and such, but this was no simple construct. As Ellis explain the basic premise of the design to the old blacksmith, he gained some apprehensions. Such a concept has never been attempted before because what he described sounded far too deadly to make with good intentions. But, he wasn’t sure he could live with himself if he didn’t assist Ellis in any way he could. He had made up his mind. It was the only way he could possibly hold his own against such a beast.

The largest and hardest part came first: the barrel. Ellis, with the best of his drawing ability, and penciled out the basic structure of it. Two dense metal tubes melded right next to each other, capable of withstanding extremely high pressure from the inside. He explained that it must be able to contain what was essentially a miniature explosion time after time, shot after shot. Wrought Iron said that this could never be crafted with simple tools.

Nor simple iron.

The aged unicorn made his way down the dusty basement stairs to the storeroom, followed closely by the human. As he opened the creaking, decrepit door, the room inhaled a gasp of air. The area had been untouched by the elements for at least a couple of decades. The blacksmith had no reason to come down here regularly, for none of his plain alloys resided in this room. Oak shelves held a number of heavy crates and other objects the mechanic couldn’t quite name. They seemed to have an arcane presence of wonder.

Iron used his horn to light his way. The room was quite small, complete with a ceiling too low for Ellis to stand straight up. He crouched uncomfortably with his shirt covering his mouth, taking care not to inhale the choking air. The unicorn, however, didn’t seem to mind.

“Here.” He said suddenly. With his magic, he levitated a small crate out of its cobweb-ridden place and set it in front of Ellis. “Over the years of my travels, I have come in possession of a great many things. Some of these things are very precious and valuable, such as this. In truth, I have had no use for it until now. I don’t want something like this to be collecting dust when I die, so I give it to you in hopes that you will use it well.”

With a flash of white aura, the wooden cover came off. Inside were metal ingots of a dull silvery color. They shimmered with a mystical luster against Iron’s magical glow.

“Hol-ley shit...”

“Do you know what this is?” He asked the human.

Ellis slowly shook his head no, mesmerized by the glimmering alloy.

“It is Mithril.”

Light as a feather and strong as a dragon’s scales, so the saying went. Mithril was one of the rarest metals on the planet. In addition, it was a great magical conduit. Wrought Iron obtained it as a parting gift from his mentor. It was more than enough to meet the requirements of Ellis’s weapon. Now, there was the matter of molding it to the desired shape. The process would require vast amounts of magic, so Iron could not do it alone.

There was a knock on the shop door. Ellis made no hesitation to open it for his expected guest: Twilight Sparkle.

“Glad you kin make it, Twi.” The mechanic greeted, smelling strongly of body odor. He has been sweating in the heat of the forge for a few hours by now.

“Don’t mention it. Magic is my specialty. It’s only natural that I come here if I’m going to be good for anything- I mean, do good... for you...” She collected herself. “What do you need me for?”

Iron was the one to answer that one. He was standing over a cauldron of liquid metal, using some of his magic to fuel the fire to make it even hotter. His perspiration came partly from the heat, but mostly from the mental strain.

“We need your magic reserves to help me shape this metal. Once it has cooled, regular tools won’t make a scratch on it. I’ll have to shape it using levitation, but I cannot do so without you as the catalyst.”

“Um... ok.” She replied meekly. Then she got a proper look at the metal itself. Her eyes widened considerably. “Is that..?!”

“Eeyup.” Confirmed Ellis. “Bilbo kin eat his heart out.”

“The unicorns of Stalliongrad would use this technique to shape beautiful metal statues. What we’re about to attempt here is similar, but much more precise. There will be little to no margin of error.” He gave the roaring fire one last spurt of magic. “We must begin right away. I can’t keep it melted much longer. Twilight, direct a flow of your magic to my horn and keep it as steady as you can.”

“What? We’re doing this right now? But... I’ve had so little time to prepare-”

“Twi.” Ellis spoke. “C’mon. Applejack told me you kin put a giant, rampaging bear tah sleep. Yer overqualified.”

Twilight knew he was right. She had no reason to doubt her abilities when her friends believed in her. Nodding wordlessly, she planted her hooves firmly on the ground and lit her horn. It glowed with a potent, lavender-colored magic, then was released in the form of a beam. Ellis had to quickly sidestep to avoid it. The magic connected with Wrought Iron’s blue horn. He shuddered in surprise.

“Find a flow you can keep steady!”

“I can keep this steady!” The librarian shouted.

“Alright! I’m casting the spell!”

He beamed an aura of swirling purple and white into the caldron, lifting the white-hot, glowing liquid out of it and bringing it to a basketball-sized sphere. He squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating on the mental image of the gun barrel. The liquid sphere began to shift and fluctuate before their eyes, forming itself into two long tubes. It took a monumental amount of concentration. The barrel widths had to be only slightly larger than the shell, and they had to be perfectly circular throughout. The hinge and the parts that would connect to the furnishing had to also meet the specification on the blueprint to the letter. The floating fluid was starting to take a more solid shape. The image of the double-barrels was becoming clearer. Twilight was beginning to sweat from the strain, but she kept her focus. Iron, however, was drenched in his own perspiration. His body was old and weary, but his honed mind would not relent. When the final shape began to form, the blacksmith strained even harder to whet the finest of details down to perfection. The metal gained viscosity as it cooled in the air

“Almost there!” He cried. The incandescent metal was slowly floated down to the water trough. This was a crucial part. He had to hold the metal in its exact shape while it cooled in the water. The piece was eased into the hissing pool. Steam quickly filled the room, filling the forge with the smell of boiling wind and hot alloy. The surface of the water bubbled and sizzled, but Iron only tightened his magical grip on the part. Finally, the hissing stopped, and he let go. Ellis rushed to catch the weary stallion before he collapsed. Twilight nursed a migraine with her hooves. The steam began to clear from the air. Wrought Iron stirred in the human’s arms.

“I’m alright, Ellis. I just need some rest. With luck, our work has rewarded us.” With some effort, he managed to stand on all four hooves again.

“Lemme see how we did.” Ellis made his way to the still-smoking pool of water.

“Careful,” Iron warned. “It’s still hot.”

He disregarded the warning. “Pfft. I was a dishwasher fer three years back in high school. Ah think I kin take a little ‘hot’.”

Without hesitation, his had dived into the water and pulled out the gun barrel, only to yip in pain and drop it back into the water with a splash of scalding liquid. He winched hard and flailed his rose-red hand around wildly, screaming human-flavored obscenities. Despite everything weighing on her mind at the time, Twilight couldn’t help herself. She burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

“Ok, Twi, fer the record, HIGH SCHOOL WAS A LONG DAMN TIME AGO!”

“I’m... sorry...!” She squeezed from her lungs between racking chortles. She lay on her back, clutching her sides to keep them from falling apart.

After a few minutes of letting the barrel cool (and Twilight trying to regulate her breathing), Ellis withdrew it from the warm water, letting the excess trickle back into the pool. It was truly a sight. The barrel gleamed like polished silver with a hint of ivory. He held it up to the light and squinted down the inside.

“How is it?” Wrought Iron.

“Perfectamundo.” He caressed the smooth surface with his palm. “Thank ya fer yer help, Iron.” He turned to Twilight. “You too, Twi.”

“But...” She said. “We aren’t done yet, are we?”

“Nope.” Ellis smirked. “Not yet...”

The next step would be the furnishing and the inner mechanisms. The wood stock could be crafted by any proficient woodworker, but the small, moving parts would present a challenge to the blacksmith. He merely beat and shaped iron into tools and such. Making tiny, precise pieces was not his specialty. However, he did know one who could do it.

Wrought Iron regularly provided brass and other soft metals to a clockmaker named Mr. Fob. Watch Fob was his full name. A unicorn tinkerer hailing from Trottingham, he was instantly recognised by townsfolk with this leather-brown coat, blond, shortly-curled mane, and his unusual jacket and rectangular glasses. His cutie mark spoke of two gears--one bigger, one smaller--quietly grinding in motion. Although he and his family had only made Ponyville their home a little less than a year ago, he’s a regular part of the community. The ponies of the town have really warmed up to his charming demeanor, and they greatly appreciate his craftsmanship.

Ellis approached him one afternoon with a plan. It wasn’t the most concise plan; he only knew a little about the inner workings of a shotgun, but he was certain that, between the two of them, they could work out a rudimentary design.

“My word...” Mr. Fob quietly exclaimed. “This seems like a stupendous feat of engineering. I have never attempted a design such as this before, and given your limited knowledge of the matter, we’d be feeling around in the dark on this, so to speak.”

“So... that a problem?” Ellis asked tentatively.

The clockmaker only smiled. “No, this merely presents a learning opportunity.”

They were discussing the specifics in his quaint, tidy shop. All manners of timepieces lined the walls. Tall grandfather clocks, simple wall clocks, pocket watches, wristwatches... the list went on. Most of them even worked. The room was filled with the clicks and thunks of their mechanisms. Bells and chimes went off occasionally, creating a cacophony of machinery as a testament to Watch Fob’s ingenuity. Yes, it seemed a bit egotistical, but this gentlecolt was proud of his work. On his huge table that dominated the center of the room, gears, cogs, and springs were all scattered here and there in a sort of organized chaos. Rattling parchment with framework sketches and mathematical equations almost covered the table like paper-mache. Ellis loomed over the unicorn artisan while he worked the housing according the the blueprints. The specially made brass parts and springs were fit in like a jigsaw puzzle. Even with all the noise of the room, the unicorn was completely focused on the task at hand. Hoof. Whatever.

Days of trial-and-error later, they settled on a double open-hammer design with two triggers neatly set within the guard and a thumb-lever that would open the chamber. Mr. Fob went a bit further and fabricated a mechanism that would cock the hammers in place during reloading, leaving the shooter with only the action of firing. He and Ellis went over the finalization and maintenance of his creation. They tested the stress of the springs and replaced parts as needed.

“This is quite the achievement, if I do say so myself.” Said Watch Fob as he fitted the cover over the housing with a grin, completing the product.

“Credit all goes to you, man.” Said Ellis as he picked up the housing, examining its various parts and getting a feel for the weight. “Yer a bonafide genius.”

“‘Bonafide’?”

“Hellifiknow what that means.” He placed the housing back on the table.

“Well, now,” The clockmaker began. “All that’s left now is the matter of payment.”

Ellis stood there, dead silent.

“Oh shit.” He swore.

Mr. Fob merely chuckled. “I suppose that’s what I get for not arranging a price beforehoof. Don’t fret, Ellis, I’m sure we’ll work something out.”

Ellis breathed a little easier. “Thank ya, sir. Ah can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

He was about to add to that, but was interrupted when he felt a poke through the leg of his pants. Wincing slightly, he looked down. Right at his feet was a tiny, mottled foal looking up at Ellis with big, round eyes and a wooden sword in his mouth.

“Hab ap bee!” He mumbled through the handle.

“Pipsqueak.” Fob chided softly. “Is that any way to greet my client?”

Pipsqueak dropped his mock sword, face burning profusely. “Sorry.”

“My boy’s been pulling this ‘pirate’ act ever since Nightmare Night.” Mr. Fob explained. “He’s become absolutely infatuated with sailing the high seas and plundering them for all their worth.”

“S’alright.” Ellis stooped down and held out a hand to the little colt. “Nice tah meet ya, little guy.”

Pip hesitated for a second due to the human’s overwhelming stature, but those apprehensions were dispersed as soon as he shook his hand.

“Th’ pleasure’s all mine, sir.” He chimed in his squeaky Trottingham accent.

The fate-tossed mechanic couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face. He was an adorable little guy, that much was certain, but Ellis also saw a bit of himself in him. The colt was brimming with naivety and childhood wonder. His imagination was afire with a world of daring and adventure, paying no heed to a single worry life would cast at him.

Pip’s father cleared his throat. “Ellis and I were just going over the final details...”

“Hold on, man.” He smirked. “Ah think there should be a ‘Captain’ in there somewhere.”

Fob rolled his eyes. “Oh Celestia, don’t encourage him.”

“I wanted to be the Captain...” Pip whined.

“Sorry, ya look like first mate material for me. But...” He handed the colt his wooden sword back, removed his own hat, and placed it on Pip’s head. “...one of these days, ah ain’t gonna be around to be Captain anymore. Then, that title’l go tah you.”

The hat was a little sweaty, and it obscured Pipsqueak’s vision, but he was enjoying every second of it. Beaming widely, he pushed the bill of the hat up to see Ellis’s face. His expression wavered as he saw the human gazing into the distance, deep in thought. A thousand-mile stare.

“Captain Ellis?”

That seemed to snap him out of it. He looked back at the little colt and gave a half-hearted smile.

“Shall I assume you are quite satisfied with the mechanism, then?” Mr. Fob spoke.

“Yeah, man. It’s perfect.” He paused. “Hey, mind if me an’ Pip go outside for a bit an’ play?”

“It’s fine, but don’t you have more work to do if you’re going to complete this project of yours?”

Ellis took a deep sigh, as if he was suddenly very weary. “Yeah, but none a’ us’r gonna live forever.” He lifted the colt into the air, his hat still covering his head. “Might as well enjoy whatever time we... we have left.”

A giggling Pipsqueak in his arms, he walked out the shop door to their backyard, voice trailing off as he told another story from his past.

“Ah have a bit’a sailing experience, ya know. Me an’ mah bud once built our own raft to float down the river with. We strung up a bunch a’ scrap two-by-fours together, an’ thought that woulda been enough...”

+++++

All that was left was the furnishing and the ammo. For the stock and handle, they went with an unorthodox structure. The handle itself was a pistol-grip style that branched off to the stock from the top and bottom, making an open triangle between the grip and the butt. Ellis said it was something he always wanted to try. The wood itself was a rosy-colored oak to match the dark metal of the housing and contrast the ivory-silver of the barrel. It would withstand a good deal of strain and weathering. With that finished the gun was practically complete. The parts were assembled and the mechanisms were tested. Watch Fob and Wrought Iron stood side-by-side outside the forge as Ellis exercised the break action and the hammers. As it turned out, mithril made an excellent gunmetal. The firearm was light enough that Ellis could comfortably wield it with one hand, arm outstretched. The unicorns would be lying if they said the sight didn’t fill them with pride... and a bit of trepidation.

“It’s missin’ somethin’.” Ellis said suddenly. Mr. Fob nearly choked. Iron merely furrowed his brow in puzzlement.

“What could possibly be absent?” The clockmaker exclaimed. “Its in perfect working order to the letter!”

“Yeah, it is. Fer all its intents an’ purposes, the gun works. The barrel breaks open nicely, the hammers cock back fully, an’ the triggers pull neatly. But, ah think it needs somethin’ extra.”

“And what would that be?” Queried Iron.

“I dunno.” He held the unique firearm up to the light, getting the full picture of it all at once. He ran his eyes down every part, every curve, every surface of the weapon. The mithril barrels shimmered like dull diamonds in the light, while the metal housing and the stock only gave a dark gleam. There. The stock. To Ellis, it felt so... empty. What could it need?

“Ah think...” He began as his fingers brushed along the sturdy, oak tail. “Ah think it needs a name.”

+++++

The last, and probably the most complicated part of the creation of the gun, wasn’t actually part of the gun itself. It needed ammo. This presented a serious problem. While metal and wood could be shaped into virtually anything with proper skills and magic, a shotgun shell was something Ellis wasn’t too clear on. Sure, he had some knowledge on how explosive powder propelled objects (accompanied by rather unpleasant memories), but the inner workings of it were an enigma to him. And, it was clear to everyone that it would take more than one shell to kill a Tank. Back in the library with Applejack, Twilight, and Dominic, they discussed how they would create them from the one he had. Twilight had offered to scrutinize the shell with her magic to figure out how it worked, but, at that moment, Dominic had interrupted and offered to make them himself. Any objection, opposition, or even question was met with harsh shushes and vague explanations. The alchemist took the shell and promptly trotted back to his laboratory. No one has seen or heard from him since.

That was a week ago. Twilight said it was time to check in.

The librarian went first, alone, to make sure Dominic hadn’t hurt himself again. Ellis and Applejack followed her shortly after. The two walked down the dank path that cut through the edge of Everfree. The dirt-covered surface was beaten down more than it should have been. There were fading marks of what looked like fist imprints. Ellis knew exactly what they were. It made him glance toward the forest with sweaty unease. The shotgun was slung over his shoulder in a specially-crafted felt scabbard, courtesy of Rarity. The weight of the weapon on his back made him ease up a bit, but that didn’t help the fact that he was without ammo.

Applejack was faring no better. For the first time in a long time, she tasted the bitter flavor of true fear. Not fear for others, but fear for her own life. Fear that, at any moment, this monster could come crashing through the brush and tear them apart like it did to Ponyville. She feared what she would do if that scenario became a reality. She fear that she would forget her friendship and sprint in the opposite direction. She knew her legs were prone to acting before they think. That instinct came into play with her first meeting with Ellis. The shadow of guilt touched her with that memory once again.

Maybe she was giving herself too little credit. She stood by her friend with every encounter with beasts like the Manticore and the Hydra. The Tank couldn’t be scarier than that, right?

“Jesus Christ...” Ellis swore suddenly, stopping in his tracks. Applejack halted behind him, addled at what could possibly catch his attention.

The smell hit her before the sight did. There, planted right in the ditch to their left was a mangled pile of festering meat. Flies and other carrion-feeding creatures hovered noisily over the rotten flesh and splintered bones. Only a couple parts were still identifiable: a large, chitinous, scorpion-like tail and the head of a lion. The face was twisted into a disfigured visage of rage and agony moments before its death. Applejack clamped her mouth shut, struggling to keep the contents of her stomach at bay, which were quickly surging up her throat. Too late. She heaved on the ground with a disgusting retch. Ellis quickly took several steps back.

“Shit, you ok?” He eased back to the woozy pony’s direction, who was having trouble staying upright on her hooves. Her eyelids were wet.

“Ahm fine, E-Ellis” She regained her stride and carefully stepped around her jettisoned lunch.

“Ah didn’ know ponies could puke...” He took a sniff of the air. “Is all ya eat just apples?”

She didn’t respond. She didn’t even look like she heard what Ellis had said. Her eyes were fixed morbidly to the ground as she trudged on. The human just bit his tongue back and walked past the Manticore’s carcass.

+++++

The duo finally reached Dominic’s iron and stonework laboratory. Even in broad daylight, the two-story relic-of-a-structure seemed to cast itself an eerie shadow. The building looked like it grew with the dank forest surrounding it, for it held the same qualities of brooding umbra that the trees of Everfree retained. A hazy smoke rose from the cobblestone chimney, adding the only sign of life to the building. If not for that, it would look abandoned.

Outside, right on the front porch, sat Dominic and Twilight. The librarian’s expression implied anxiety. The alchemist, however almost looked as if he was smiling warmly to himself with pride. As Ellis had come to learn, he had a difficult time displaying expressions of joy. That aside, there was a small, round table--weathered to a horrendous quality--neatly propped on the crabgrass. On the surface of the table were four shotgun shells. Ellis was bewildered, to say the least, that the idiosyncratic stallion had been able to produce them. And, in a timely fashion, Dominic would later add.

“Welcome!” He bellowed. “The neigh-sayers have finally arrived. Come to deny the worth of my abilities further, hmm?”

“We’d never doubt ya, Dommy.” Applejack retorted. “It’s just... well... from what ah know, you don’ make too much stuff outta plastic ‘er metal.

Dominic glowered, his robust features darkened further. “Oh, and I suppose the copper instruments that reside in my lab just instantaneously materialized out of nothing.” He ranted sarcastically. “Please, I know my basic metal-shaping. I’d be damned if I’ve lived here long enough and didn’t know how to maintain my distillery. And the plastic? I synthesized it myself. ‘Twas foal’s play.

“The real challenge was actually assembling those parts. Between the housing for the primer and the wadding behind the shot, I believe I had to strain the better part of my intellect to deduce the proper system. I labored day and night just to manufacture these few shells, but I think you’ll find them to be... quite satisfactory.”

Ellis picked up one of the shells. The weight certainly felt right in his hand. It looked like the real thing, too, minus the fact that the bottom casing was copper instead of the usual brass.

“Looks good.”

“Test it, then.” The alchemist insisted, pointing to the crude wooden targets across the clearing, assembled from loose branches and twigs into a vaguely humanoid shape, wooden arms raised. It appeared that the creator of the dummies was trying to mimic the visage of a Tank.

“I... helped build those.” Twilight mentioned.

“Should they merit the desired outcome, I’ll be able to produce more, tailored to better efficiency with the feedback of this test.”

Ellis pulled the shotgun from its scabbard and began to ready it, thunking the shell into the barrel and snapping it close, when Twilight noticed a bright, yellow shimmer from the stock.

“What’s that on the back part?” She asked with a gesture of her hoof.

Ellis turned to her and smirked. He held the gun to better display the golden inlay he commissioned. It was a short, pulchritudinous bout of human lettering that spanned the width of the stock on the right side. Applejack strafed around to get a better view of it, and, just like Twilight, was captivated by its appeal to the eye. Though they could not read it, it look as if it completed the entire image of the gun with flying colors.

“It’s her name, that’s what it is.”

“Name?” Applejack said, puzzled by his notion of giving this inanimate object animate characteristics. “What does it say?”

“Zoey.”

“Zoey?” The farmpony pronounced, the syllables coming off very alien from her tongue. “Strange name.”

“It’s a pretty name.” Ellis replied with a nostalgic smile. “Ah don’t think ah’ve told y’all the story ‘bout the time when me an’ the gang-”

“Ellis!” Dominic snapped. “Stop wasting our time and fire the fausting thing already!”

Red-faced, Ellis huffed and faced the targets. He spread his feet into the proper firing position, brought the stock up to his cheek, and squinted his eyes as he looked straight down the barrel. His finger found the first trigger.

“Y’all better cover yer ears.” He shouted. The ponies obliged, shielding their heads with their solid hooves. Ellis tensed up and squeezed.

What happened next came as an unsavory surprise. There was a flash of blue light, a painful stab to his shoulder, and a loud, booming whistle. The firearm was forced into the air above his head and almost ripped from his hand. As for the target, one of its “arms” appeared to be completely vaporized. The air around him tingled with energy while the azure smoke that rose from the barrel end smelled of ozone. Ellis was wide-eyed and breathing heavily, struggling to recover from the shock.

“What the hell was that?!”

Dominic threw his head back and bellowed out an ugly, rasping laugh that would make a Gorgon cringe.

“You thought it would be mere explosive powder?” He cleared his throat to speak easier. “I could produce that in my sleep. I opted to increase the effectiveness of the ammunition by coupling the powder with raw magic.” He glanced over to the smoking target. “The outcome seems to indicate that I was, again, correct.”

“It damn-near tore mah arm off, man!” Ellis shouted hysterically.

“Yes, I may need adjust the powder-to-shot ratio...”

“COULD YA HAVE AT LEAST WARNED ME FIRST?!?!”

Dominic rolled his eyes.

“I’m surprised, Dominic.” Twilight said, finally able to hear herself.

“That I’ve outdone myself yet again?”

“No, that you didn’t try to make it shoot acid.”

Dominic’s face shifted to an expression of sudden revelation, as if he was struck with the most wonderful idea-

“NO!” The librarian screamed. “ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!”

He scowled. “Spoilsport...”

By that time, Ellis had already ejected the spent shell onto the ground. The alchemist nearly swooped to pick it up with the other three he had set out.

“Well, I must make haste.” He trotted toward the thick, wooden door of his lab. “I shall have a dozen or so complete in a few days time.”

“But...” Applejack began to ask, wondering how he could possibly make that many in such a short time. Dominic cut her off.

“No questions at this time, I’m certain that we all have much to tend to.”

*SLAM*

*click*

“Ferget Pinkie, Rarity, n’ Lyra,” Ellis commented. “That guy’s fuckin’ king of the nutjobs.”

Twilight sighed. “You don’t know the half of it.”

+++++

The process of creating the barrel, mechanism, stock, and ammo took the better part of two weeks. While Ellis wasn’t working on the gun, he worked extra hours with his friends Sawdust and Ball-Peen to help rebuild the town. Every day, they toiled endlessly under the hot sun hauling debris and hammering in new wall sections. He sometimes forgot the need to eat and, when the hunger became too much, would even eat pony-exclusive food (some of which he considered pretty tasty). Every night he would come back to the farm, late, and collapse onto the bed, snoring vehemently until dawn, when the cycle began again. Applejack worried about him. Something seemed off. He didn’t smile nearly as much as before. He spent most of his time thinking to himself, not talking to others. She tried not to dwell on it too much, though. She merely focused on harvesting the Apple Family’s prime crop, bucking tree after tree with the conviction of a true workhorse. As she had learned, fretting only caused more problems than it solved.

In the meantime, the regiment of Royal Guards came as Mayor Mare promised. They patrolled the borders of Everfree with caution and keen eyes. Nopony has sighted the Tank since the attack, but the darkened forest sometimes carried its hellish roars with the wild wind. It was still there, that much was for certain. The citizen of Ponyville went about their business as usual, but fear was rank in the air. They’ve all heard its cries, they’ve all seen the destruction it could wreak. The same question was on everypony’s mind.

How long until it came back?

+++++

Hurt. It hurt.

*CRACK!*

It was thwarted. Cheated. Robbed of its prey.

*CRACK!*

It was denied of its relief. Its peace. Its violence. Its murder.

*CRACK!*

It was beaten, bruised, cut, slashed, burned... yet it was not enough. It had nothing but pain now.

*CRACK!*

All because of that puny yellow one.

*CRACK!*

The beast pawed up another fistful of stinking meat and forced it into its maw. Blood and pulp spurted from between its thick fingers, splashing against its face and chest. It stuffed its gory meal past its numb, lolling tongue. The life-fluid ran like ruby streams, cascading over its furiously regenerating flesh. All the while its yellow, insane eyes stared ahead, focused on the direction of Ponyville. It had to keep looking in that direction. It had to remember. Thinking hurt it, but it was no more painful than the agony it has suffered every second of its hellish life. The beast, with all its animalistic instinct, kept thinking of that place and that pony. That pony. It wanted to kill that pony more than anything. That pony... she... nnnggg... with her staring and... nnnggg... shouting...

It clenched its fists until its palms ran with its own blood. That fight was almost faded from its memory. It could remember so little. So little. It couldn’t even remember its own name, but it knew that didn’t matter. All that mattered was pain. Inflicting pain. Receiving pain. Pain, pain, pain. That pony would get her pain. She would get all of it.

Its eyes shifted to the pile of dead meat at its feet. After it had healed, it concluded.

+++++

“So, this poor gentlecolt, after being subjected to one of the worst storms in Ponyville history, came up to my door in what was left of his good dress clothes, and only said ‘I’d like to commision a suit.’” Rarity laughed quietly. “I know I’ve always been wanting to be among high society, but those Canterlot fellows aren’t so sensible when it comes to reading weather forecasts.”

Fluttershy said nothing. The fashionista’s half-hearted smile dissolved away. There was only relative silence, accompanied by the steady beep of the heart monitor. Rarity cast her eyes to the sterile, tile floor. Seeing her timid, gentle friend wrapped up like a broken coat hanger was not something she would seek out, but she owed it to herself to give her company. She was all alone in this dreadfully boring hospital. Rarity glanced back at her charge in the rail-bordered bed. Her leg and wings were strung like a marionette from the ceiling. Her fur was matted and untidy. But, worst of all, was the look in her crusted eyes. They looked as if they belonged to a corpse; staring straight into nothing without feeling nor warmth. It was too much for the alabaster unicorn. The walls came crashing down.

“I’m... I’m sorry, Fluttershy. For everything.” Rarity’s preened cheeks were subjected to a stream of tears. “I should have stayed. I d-don’t know what possessed me to l-leave you with that monster...”

“Rarity.” Fluttershy spoke with nothing more than a whisper. Slowly, she turned her head towards her sobbing friend. “I don’t blame you for leaving.”

“I blame myself.”

“I told you to go...”

“I shouldn’t have listened!”

“Somepony needed to make sure it wouldn’t go after the rest of the town...”

“And look where that got you!” She yelled, all semblance of reservedness and composure out the window. “You almost died! Your heart stopped! It was only by the slimmest chance of fate that you are still alive! And I did nothing but run away! Friends don’t abandon friends! How heartless am I to have you left for dead?!” She buried her eyes in her hooves. “I failed you! I’m a disgrace. A shameful disgrace. I’m no better than that monster-!”

“RARITY!”

Fluttershy had planned to be patient and let her go through the motions, but she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Rarity’s head shot up, eyes pink with grief. The canary pegasus channeled a stern glare.

“I did what I did for your sake, for our friends’ sake, for everypony’s sake!” She raised her voice considerably. “If I hadn’t stopped him, he would have gone to cause even more destruction. I had to do something. If I died back there, I... would have been okay with it.”

To Rarity, that last notion sounded like it was lined with some great emotional pain, but she wasn’t focused on that. She thought that Fluttershy would be the last pony to make a noble sacrifice, to make a fearless stand against all odds. This was a side of her that she had never seen before. It scared her.

“Don’t say that. Never say that.” Rarity clipped. “Generosity may be my element, but in truth, I’m a selfish mare. I can’t take losing the ones I love.” She took the pegasus’s hoof into hers. “I want you to live, Fluttershy. Please, you can’t just throw your life away, no matter how great the cause. There’s always a better way. Just... just live. If not for yourself, then just do it for me. Just know that there ponies who could never live without you.”

Fluttershy didn’t know what to say to that. They sat in silence, Rarity still holding fast onto her hoof. They sat there for what seemed like hours with only the beep of the monitor and the ever so distant sounds of the hospital at work to permeate the air.

“Maybe she’s right.” Fluttershy thought. “Maybe I was too quick to try and throw my life away. I never thought of the hearts I’d break, the grief my death would have caused. I would have made my friends miserable, broken the bonds of the Elements of Harmony, and hurt the ones I care for. I don’t want to hurt my friends...”

“Do you really think he can do it?” Rarity said suddenly, interrupting the pegasus’s thoughts. “Do you really think Ellis can... dare I say it... kill that tortured creature?”

“Yes. I believe in him. He’s done it before, too.”

“But...” The unicorn bit her lip. “He doesn’t seem like the kind who would do that sort of thing.”

Fluttershy remained silent for a moment. She stared at the whitewashed hospital wall, inhaled a deep sigh, and closed her eyes.

“Sometimes the most unlikely of people do the most unlikely of things when they are called upon by fate. We don’t choose our future, we merely combat it.”

Rarity couldn’t bring herself to say anything.

“Fluttershy... that was surprisingly deep. I never took you for the philosophical kind.”

The pegasus blushed. “Oh, it’s just... something I heard from some... pony.”

+++++

Applejack, with her sweat-soaked orange fur, trudged back to the farm from another long day of hard work. The sun was sinking over the horizon, casting a warm glow over the orchard. The leaved rattled in the soft breeze, the grass flowed in waves like a great, green ocean. The cart of apples the farmpony was hauling squeaked loudly, thumping with each rock and divot the wooden wheels passed over. Her muscles were sore and tired, but it was a good pain. Work was exactly what she need to take the stress of the week off of her. For more than a few moments during her apple harvesting, she completely forgot about humans and zombies and Tanks. It was just her and her work. Her and her apples. Eventually, she had to remember where she need to go, where she made her home, and the ponies that were waiting for her. And Ellis. That was hard to forget.

The sturdy barn of the Apple Family finally came into view. The rustic, stalwart building indicated that the house wasn’t far. Applejack’s mouth watered. She could almost smell it from where she was. Granny Smith said she was making some of her famous apple pies, fresh for dessert. She could hardly wait. Then, it’d be a long, relaxing sleep ‘til the morning light.

Something, or more specifically somepony, appeared peripherals of her vision. Applejack immediately recognized the big, red bow bobbing on her head as she galloped closer. Apple Bloom screeched to a stop in front of her older sister, disturbing a cloud of dust in her wake. She panted hard, eyes wet and bleary.

“Bloom, what’s wrong?” Applejack asked, concerned.

The yellow-and-red filly sniffed. “I-I-I don’t k-know, I-I sw-wear. I-I... I just showed E-Ellis that p-picture I found, a-and he g-got all sad a-and angry...” She collapsed and sobbed loudly into her forelegs. Applejack picked her up and hugged her tightly.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry...”

“Shhh... It’s alright. It’s alright.” She rocked her with as much motion the apple cart would allow. “You ain’t done nothin’ wrong. I’ll go talkin’ with him. You jus’ get yerself home and wash up fer supper.”

After Applejack safely stowed the cart away, she went searching for Ellis. It didn’t take that long to find the unique figure of the human casting a long shadow from atop a grassy hill against the setting sun. The farmpony briskly trotted up through the cooling grass to meet him. Ellis noticed her coming and turned his head. His fingers held the small photograph that was previously in Apple Bloom’s possession. In his other hand was the barrel of his newly-crafted gun, stock propped up on the grass. He heard the pony coming to meet him and gave her a lazy wave of acknowledgement.

“Hey AJ. S’alright, you kin come an’ join in. It’s only me an’ Zoey up here.”

Applejack said nothing as she took a seat next to the human. They sat in silence, gazing into the distant sunset as it sank into the mountains. It cast a resplendent orange glow over the grove, washing the chittering green leaves in light, reflecting off the shiny skin of the ripe, hanging fruit. Ellis drew in a long, tired sigh, picture still in hand, gently flapping in the breeze.

“Ah told you ‘bout Zoey didn’t I? The gal ah named this baby after?” Applejack might have, but she couldn’t quite recall. Ellis continued without her response. “See, some time after we drove out of the mall, we came to this raised bridge that we couldn’t lower ‘cause it had no power and there were no generators on our side. Now, there were these three other survivors up on the bridge scaffold. One of them was hurt real bad in the leg, by the way, but one of them... well... ah swear, she was jus’ the purdiest thing ah ever did see. Man, she just had these eyes... and this hair... and her face... and the sweetest voice... it’s kinda hard to explain, but ah swear if there was such a’ thing as ‘love at first sight’, that’d be it. Ah was thinkin’ we’d get together and get straight to the marriage part, ‘cause the zombie apocalypse don’t make no room for datin’...”

Ellis’s story petered out and silence reigned yet again.

“Ah miss them.” He said finally. “Coach an’ Nick an’ Ro. Ah miss how Coach would talk about food all the time an’ make us all hungry. Rochelle didn’t say much, but she was real nice to me.” He laughed inwardly. “Hell, ah even miss Nick, that asshole...”

His smile faded as he held the picture up. “But... ah miss him the most. Ah... ah just... you can’t have a friend like that ever again, AJ. He was one-of-a-kind. We were brothers. Ya can’t jus’... ferget him like that...”

Ellis squeezed his eyes shut, trying to banish the tears that would come. He hated crying. He was tired of crying. Applejack pulled herself closer, wrapping her tail behind him.

“Nopony’s askin’ ya to forget him, Ellis.”

“Ah know... ah know...” He sniffed hard. “Sometimes ah wish ah could, but I couldn’t imagine what mah life would have been without him. Ah mean, he’s the guy who got me into cars in the first place, and our band name,” He tapped his “Bull Shifters” shirt. “That was his idea, too.”

He stared at the shiny photograph once more. He looked at Keith’s smiling face next to his own. Those times felt so distant, like ancient history. It almost hurt. Never once in his time with him had he ever considered what life would be like without him. The tears swelled again. He held them back. He hated crying. Ellis laid his shotgun on the soft, vegetated carpet and used that arm to pull Applejack against him. The orange pony drew a breath in mild surprise, but stayed calm as the human buried his face in her stetson.

“Ah don’t think ah’ve ever properly thanked ya fer everythin’ ya done for me.”

She blushed. “Oh, s’nothin’, really...”

“Naw, girl, ahm serious! Ya gave me a home and food, ya helped me get a job, ya stuck up fer me when everyone else was scared a’ me, and you dragged mah drunk ass home that one night.” He removed her hat so he could see her smiling face under the brim. “Yer the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Applejack looked perplexed. “What about Coach an’ Nick an’ all that?”

Ellis snickered. “They’re good friends, but ah don’t even think Coach would wanna give me another piggyback ride.”

“...And Keith?”

The smile disappeared. His eyes returned to the photo.

“Keith’s gone, that’s fer sure. Only took me a month an’ a couple days in another world tah figure that out. He ain’t comin’ back.” He bit his lip and allowed himself a moment to recover. “Ah know he’s gone, but... ah’d still give anythin’ just... just tah see him one last time.”

+++++

“War... War never changes...”

In a dim room that smelled of burning sugar, she waited. She prepared. With scowling eyes she sat with patience, whittling away the time. When her mane got in the way, she tied it back. When sweat got in her eyes, she donned a bandana. She covered her face with her own brand of warpaint: dark-pink frosting. Tongue in hoof, she ran it along the end of a candy cane over and over with a consistent slurping sound. She brought the tip to her face. Satisfactory. She rolled her tongue back into her mouth and sheathed the shiv in her vest, where a multitude of other candy-based arsenal was tied to her body. Three large jawbreakers were attached to her hip, decorated with grenade spoons and pins. Around her shoulder was a bandolier of cylindrical packs of o-shaped candy. She had candy-necklace dog-tags dangling around her neck. Strapped over her back was... well... the surprise.

She bit into a wad of taffy and chewed. Slowly. She savored every chomp of her jaw like everything she ever hated was nestled between her teeth. Her hoof tapped on the floor impatiently. A chalkboard stood next to her. Scribbled on it was crude battle plans and a list of goals. A small alligator, dressed up in army fatigues and a tiny helmet covering his eyes, stood on the sill of the board, phlegmatic as ever. She swallow the wad of melty taffy and put a pink, bubblegum cigar in her lips. She thought of him, the monster. That’s all the thought about. How she would teach him a lesson. A lesson that was carved into the very earth everypony stood on. A lesson that was embedded into the very laws of reality itself:

Nopony messes with Pinkie Pie.

A Shogun Named Ellis

The day started as well as any other. Beams of sunlight gradually ghosted into his room as the big yellow star began its subtle progress into the sky. The light would niggle at his eyelids until they lethargically fluttered open. After that, he would enjoy the comfort and warmth of his bed for a few more minutes, but he knew he had to get out of it eventually. He had to work today.

Ellis messily pushed off the blankets. The cool morning air caused him to shiver, but he didn’t make a fuss of it. He stretched, popping his joints and sighing loudly. Suddenly tense, the human scanned his room for any signs of Apple Bloom. Finding an absence of the nosey filly, he proceeded to don his clothes. On went his coveralls, his t-shirt, his worn socks and shoes, and finally, his cap. He took a moment to inspect the position of the sun. He judged that he had a bit of time before he had to jaunt down to Ponyville, so he used it to clean his gun.

From a nail embedded in the wall hung the scabbard that held Zoey, and next to it, hanging in a similar fashion, was his machete. From his bed, he could see the shimmer of the golden inlay that gave the gun its namesake. He strode towards it and carefully took it out of its sheathe. The mithril barrels seemed to have a mystical sparkle to them. Ellis turned it over in his hand, taking in every detail yet again for what seemed like the hundredth time. He still couldn’t believe he was able to find a way to make something like this in this world, where everything seemed so simple and old-fashioned. Shit, he owed Wrought Iron and Fob a lot of money. And the gal who did the stock. He forgot her name.

Ellis didn’t necessarily need to clean it, either, but he insisted. It was such a beautiful gun, why shouldn’t it be kept in perfect condition? He opened the breech and threaded the cloth-rope through both of the smooth barrels several times over, making sure that all the dust and carbon build-up was wiped clean off of the inside. He did more test-firing yesterday with the new shells the Dominic fellow gave to him, the same shells that sat in his pouch--a small, old saddle bag that was re-tailored to fit his form--with a dozen in number. With the results he was getting from the target practice, he shouldn’t need any more than that. As he tugged the cloth through the gun, though, he found that it came back completely spotless. Last night’s polishing yielded only a little black residue. Ellis guessed that Mithril wasn’t fond of being dirtied. He smiled as he realized that he was the only human that owned a gun made with an imaginary material. Not imaginary here, he supposed, a lot of things were possible here.

Regardless of the redundancy of it, Ellis ran the rope-cloth through a few more times. Such a beautiful gun. Reminded him of the girl he name it after, Zoey. He stopped cleaning and slumped his shoulders as a pang of sadness passed over him again. He knew that she was just another thing that he would never see again, on the count of him being in Equestria with no means--or desire--to get back home. Ellis reached for a soft rag and began to wipe the outside surface, purifying all the blemishes it may have acquired in its short existence. As his reverence for the thing grew, so did his guilt of having no means of payment for its creators. He’d pay them back in full, but making this was so much to ask for. Ellis won’t be able to pay them back anytime soon. Not to mention he already owed Mayor Mare a good fistful of gold. Well, at least the town was currently in high demand of repairmen/ponies, so there was no shortage of work. And, since he got paid in cash, so he could just go straight to Wrought, Fob, and all the others and give them a slice of his paycheck immediately. He’d do that for as long as it takes. It’s not like he desired anything beyond food, a bed, and bowling.

There was a tiny knock at his door, followed by a pre-pubescent voice.

“Ellis! It’s time fer breakfast!”

He listened to the sound of Apple Bloom’s tiny hooves trotting away. “Well, that’s mah cue.” Ellis stood up and sheathed the gun into its scabbard, but his had stayed fixed on the stock. After a moment of spacing out, he let go. That whole moment confused him. He held his head and blinked a couple times. Why the hesitation? He guessed he felt Zoey would get lonely in his room, all alone. Ellis quietly chuckled to himself. Treating a gun like it was a living thing? Living in a land of pastel-colored ponies has certainly taken its toll. Still, he felt kinda bad for leaving such a pretty thing to collect dust, even if it was only for most of the day. He took one last look at the shimmering yellow inscription on the stock and quietly promised that he’d be back before she knew it. Then, Ellis left the room and closed the door behind him, leaving only silence.

+++++

Applejack greeted Ellis as he sat down on the table next to her bouncing sister. She had made breakfast again for everypony, save Big Macintosh, who had eaten his own breakfast and set off to work early. He was eager to start finishing up collecting the last of the apples, for harvesting season was quickly coming to a close. Soon the hustle and bustle of cider season would start, and then winter would be trailing close behind it. After breakfast, she’d have to mosey on out to the field as well. The day waits for nopony. Granny Smith snored softly in her rocking chair in the next room. She have to wake her up again in a few more minutes and hope that she’d stay awake. Applejack was still puzzled why she asked to be roused from her sleep in the morning. She always woke up in time to make apple jam, apple pies, and other homely apple-flavored confections, regardless of whether or not she was nudged into the waking world. The only difference is that she’d nag her for not doing it.

She trotted on over to the breakfast table with a steaming pot in carefully held between her teeth. It’s warm scent carried through the room as she set on the hot-pad that kept it from damaging the table.

“Oatmeal’s on, everypony!” She cheered and plopped a big wooden spoonful of it into Ellis’s bowl first, much to the chagrin of Apple Bloom. She grouched even as her food came to her bowl shortly after.

“Wah does Ellis get his food before me? Ah was here first!”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Sis, ya know we go from oldest tah youngest. That’s how it’s always been.” Why she’d suddenly ask that now after sharing breakfast with Ellis for the past two weeks was another question she’d like to ask, but she concluded that her sister just needed something to gripe about one way or another.

“But you don’ even know how old he is!” She pointed her hoof at the human, who was just calmly cooling his oatmeal with his breath, trying to ignore her bickering.

“Ellis, how old’r you?” The older sister asked.

“Twen’y-six” He clipped and re-focused on his food.

Apple Bloom gawked. Applejack, however, could help but chuckle a bit at her little sister’s reaction. Having her fuss promptly snuffed out, the little filly just shoveled food into her mouth with smoldering chagrin. For the rest of the meal, the trio ate quietly. After Bloom had swallowed her last spoonful of oatmeal, she washed her dishes, grabbed the sack lunch on the counter that was prepared for her with her teeth, and clopped out of the room.

“Don’ ferget tah do yer chores before you go off to school, Bloom!” Applejack called after her. Her sister only offered an unintelligible grunt as a response before she exited the house via the front door. All that was left was her and Ellis, both scraping the last of their bowls. The human was worryingly quiet. Over the past few weeks, he seemed to talk less and less, probably on the count of having less and less to talk about. Sure, his ramblings really weren’t something Applejack looked forward to, but it did her good to have some indication of cheeriness from him. In contrast to how he used to prattle, all he really did these days was eat, sleep, and work. He was starting to turn out like Big Macintosh! She loved her older brother, but ‘Tia knows she didn’t need another quiet one. She tried to fill the silence with a bit of talk.

“Twen’y-six, eh? Ah reckon yer a bit older than me. Heh...” Her voice trailed, but she fought to keep the noise going. “‘Less, ya know, yer years are longer ‘r shorter than Equestrian years. Then that’d be real confusin’...” Ellis only nodded as he chewed. Applejack’s smile faded to a somber gaze as she stared at the remnants of her breakfast. The two sat in silence for what seemed like an hour. Ellis finally finished his oatmeal, cleared his throat, and spoke.

“Ah think tonight’s the night, AJ.”

The farmpony stifled a small gasp. She knew what he meant. She knew this day would come, though the peace and quiet that had lasted for the past two weeks had given her the hopeful illusion that there was no problem that needed to be solved. A dour taste bit her tongue.

“Now don’ go lookin’ all mopey.” He turned to her with a smirk. “We still gotta get through the day first.”

Seeing Ellis’s smile perked her up a bit. Then she remembered something she had to tell him.

“Oh! Ah made ya lunch fer today!” She exited her chair and trotted over to the kitchen counter, where she opened a cupboard and withdrew a brown paper bag. “Kept it in here so Apple Bloom wouldn’t take it by mistake...” She paused, then added: “...Again.”

Ellis chuckled, recalling that particular incident. “Thanks, AJ.” He gratefully took the paper sack in his hand and set off his place, washing the bowl of leftover oatmeal in the sink. After placing the bowl on a wire rack to dry, he went for the door. Applejack watched him go, wanting to say something, but not knowing what to say. Before the human opened the door, he turned back to his generous equine hostess and smiled.

“Don’t you worry ‘bout me. I’ll be back before sundown, ‘kay?”

The farmpony half-smiled back and nodded, trying her best to mask the worry in her eyes. The front door opened with a clack and a rush of cool morning air. Ellis stepped out and closed it behind him. All that was left was silence.

Applejack bit her lip and shut her eyelids tight. She knew that it was only the start of the day, that the sun would have to make its pass across the sky before it was time to take action, but that did little to ease the heartache that tormented her. She just knew that something bad would happen, one way or another. She felt it like a rock in her gut. It was her own form of Pinkie Sense, one that wasn’t something to be ignored. She just hoped that, by the end of this ordeal, Ellis would still be alive. If anything deserved to live, it’d be him.

She admonished herself. She was starting to worry too much again. Applejack cleared the table and washed the rest of the dishes. Today, she would go to work out in the fields and forget about her worries. There was no sense of living in fear of what happens next, nor was there any reason to cry over it. By Celestia, she was an earth pony, and she would carry the world on her back if she had to. Taking one last glancing look at the kitchen table, she exited via the front door for a long day of labor...

Applejack nearly galloped back into the house. She almost forgot to wake up Granny Smith!

Trotting into the living room, she caught sight of her grandmother snoring rather vehemently in her slowly oscillating rocking chair. The young farmpony gently touched her foreleg and spoke in a soft voice.

“Granny. Time tah wake up.”

Smith gave a start. “Doohh my gosh! What time is it?!”

Applejack gave a sigh. “It’s alright, Granny. It’s still morning.”

“‘Course it’s still mornin’! Do ah look like one’a them sloth-folk?” She grumbled and shifted in her seat, popping and straining her old joints. “Ah was raised a farm gal, an’ I ain’t fergettin’ it anytime soon! I can wake up so early I’d put that dadgum rooster to shame!”

The younger sighed and rolled her eyes. “Alrighty. Well, ahm off to the fields.” She began to canter out of the room. There was plenty to do, and she only had the light of the day to do it by.

“Sweetie?”

Granny Smith’s voice stopped her in her tracks. She looked back. “Yeah?”

“Do try an’ smile some today.” She said amiably. “Does nopony any good tah see you all glum.”

Applejack’s mouth gaped slightly, at loss for words. Had her sour mood really been that noticeable? Maybe it was just Granny. She had an uncanny gift for reading ponies’ thoughts. She attempted to put on a faux smile, but if she was worse at anything besides lying, it’d be pretending.

“Ah... Ah’ll do mah best to do that.”

Without skipping a beat, she gave her reply. “You should keep that Ellis fellow around more. Ya really seem tah light up ‘round him. He’s such a nice stallion.” The elderly pony leaned forward in her chair with a playful smirk. “You got’cher eye on him? Ah wouldn’t mind some great grandkids, ya know...”

The youth gave no more words. Hurriedly, and red-faced, she left the house and set to applebucking, leaving Granny Smith chuckling quietly to herself.

+++++

With a dirty scrape, another layer of mortar was applied, followed by a bright-red brick, followed by yet another scrape as the excess was removed. Ellis evaluated his work for a split-second before repeating the process. Another scrape, plop, and a scrape. Next to him, Sawdust did the same, his orange aura of magic gripping the brick and trowel. Ball-Peen was busy hauling around the materials, his ashen face bright from the exertion. Between the lot of them, it was rather quiet. They weren’t know to work in complete silence. Sawdust, furrowing his brow in annoyance, decided to change that.

“Hey, Ellis.”

“Hmm.” The human grunted in response.

“Got any more cool stories, bro?”

Ellis exhaled a gush of air and turned his attention inwardly, trying to find something interesting to tell. He looked at the brick in his hand.

“I can’t think a’ anythin’ right now...”

The ocher unicorn was unconvinced. “Horseshoes, man. What about that time in the swamp I never got to hear the rest of? You know, with the moonshine?”

The bipedal return with a quizzical look. “What? Ah don’ remember tellin’ ya that one!”

“That was when you were drunk.” Ball-Peen added as he landed with another pallet of bricks.

“Oh.” He took off his hardhat and wiped the sweat from his forehead, brick still in hand. “That was weeks ago, man. Y’all still remember that?”

“It was the highlight of my week.” Saw replied with a slight snicker.

“Fine. Where were we with that?”

“Uhh...” The unicorn scratched his chin with his hoof. “You said a Hunter pounced on your friend. What happened after that?”

“Ah blew the Hunter’s brains out.” Ellis deadpanned.

Silence struck the group. Neither Sawdust nor Ball-Peen, who stopped to listen to the rest of the tale, could conjure any words in response. It was only after a few more applications of masonry did the human realize the assery of his reply.

“Ahm sorry, man.”

“No, it okay.” His sandy-haired friend said immediately. “I asked for a story, I got it. You’ve just been so quiet these past few days.”

Ellis sighed. “I’ve just been thinkin’ a lot.”

Sawdust expelled a bark of laughter. “Hope you didn’t hurt yourself!”

“Oh!” He shot back. “It’s nice tah know ya care, Nick.”

“Dude, did you just call me ‘Nick’?”

Ellis shrugged. “Yer startin’ tah take on his most prominent quality.”

Sawdust grinned to himself. “This guy must have been pretty darn handsome, then.”

They both laughed boisterously. Even Ball-Peen, who was still listening in on their conversation, joined in with a few quiet chuckles of his own. After the laughter had died down, and they had stacked a few more bricks, the mechanic spoke again.

“Ah kin see why Rum gives ya shit most of the time.” He turned to the pegasus behind him. “Speakin’ a’ which, how’s she holdin’ up?”

“She’s doing fine.” Peen replied apathetically.

“That’s awesome.” He turned back to the wall. “But seriously, tonight’s the night ah go and kill the Tank, an’ I’ve been thinkin’ a’ how I’m gonna do it.” Another scrape-plop-scrape. He sighed. “The last time ah had three other guys with guns an’ a shitload a’ ammo!”

“I dunno how to help ya, man. Zombies are your area of expertise, not mine. I just cut wood.” He turned towards the human. “Why are you even doing it? Nopony asked you to.”

“Actually, one did...” He thought about Fluttershy and how broken she looked lying on the hospital bed. Guilt gripped his chest. He knew that the presence of the Tank wasn’t his fault, but remorse was still felt all the same. “But still, ah just thought it was the natural thing tah do. Like ya said, zombies’r mah thing.”

“I hear ya.” Saw glanced at the small, dirt-speckled clock propped up on the workbench to his right. As it silently ticked away, he began muttering a countdown.

“Five... four... three... two...”

“PAYDAY, BOYS!” Shouted Big Boss, vociferous as ever, as he came up behind them, right on schedule. Ball-Peen still yelped at the sudden noise and nearly dropped a load of cement. “Bits all around! Good job so far!”

The boss tossed a hefty bags of coin from his saddle bag to each of the employees. First to Ellis and Sawdust, who caught theirs, then to the timid pegasus, who fumbled and almost dropped it. The human was the first to look inside his bag, getting a good gander at the shimmering gold. He was interrupted by a forceful pat to the back that knocked the wind out of his lungs. Big Boss’s gravelly voice filled his ears.

“I’m proud of you most of all! You’ve really proven yourself to be a true workhorse!”

Ellis blinked. “Uh... thanks?”

“I also heard that you were gettin’ ready to do away with that monster that attacked the town.” The bulky earth pony narrowed his eyes. “You better come back in one piece, you hear me? It won’t do the town any good for you to end up eatin’ dirt.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Sir.” He said before Boss gave him one last breathtaking jab.

“Alrighty then! Carry on!” The burly boss trotted back to his trailer to complete some more paperwork. After Ellis heard the screen door slam shut, he rubbed the spot where he had been hit tenderly.

“Gawddamn, man! What’d they feed him as a kid?”

“Bricks.” Sawdust spoke plainly. “Whole bricks.”

Ellis turned his gaze back to the pile of red stone blocks. “Wouldn’t doubt it for a moment...” He shoved the bag of bits in his large coverall pocket, then stiffened, as if he just recalled something important. “Hey! Jus’ remembered! Ah gotta make some a’ them incendiaries from Rum’s stash!”

Ball-Peen turned his head at the mention of the bartender’s name. “Hm?”

“Made a promise tah Rum Run, an’ you know ah don’ go back on those. Told her Ah’d use some of her stock tah make some firebombs to use ‘gainst the Tank.” He paused to apply another brick. “Y’all kin come with me if ya want. Jus’ gotta drop off a few bits before we get there.”

Both construction ponies agreed to come with the human. Sawdust was particularly interested in seeing Rum’s booze store without the danger of meeting her blade. Ball-Peen would follow Saw wherever he went, so he was going too. The trio set back to their labor without much conversation. Ellis told an occasional quick story, but they were mostly resolute on completing the brick wall as quickly as possible. They would continue to do so for about another hour, when they put the last brick in place, and then proceed to The Prancing Show-Pony.

At the time, though, none of them noticed the streak of cyan leave its perch directly above them--a low-hanging stratocumulus--and zip into the distance without a sound.

+++++

“No... No... No, no, NO!”

Things were not going well for the alabaster unicorn at Rarity’s Boutique. Turmoil permeated the atmosphere. Frustration hung in the air. The room itself was dark and stuffy, dresses and fabric clippings strewn about in an unsightly hodgepodge. In one corner, the disheveled fashionista endeavored in her craft by dim lamplight. Patches, sheets, and textiles of all colors hovered around her, enveloped in an aura of sparkling blue magic. They seemed to move at an insect-like speed as they were compared and floated in front of the mannequin like paint swatches. Sweating with chaotic indecision, Rarity placed and withdrew each one of the bits of cloth, finding none that would match.

“No... Still no... Ugh! I’ve seen sightlier cat vomit!”

Opalescence, who was busy preening herself on a pile of soft, unrolled fabric, looked up. She gave a confused meow, unsure of how to feel about her mistress’s statement.

She’s had no customers that morning, nor the days before. Business for the boutique had ground to a standstill over the past couple weeks. In the wake of the Tank attack, nopony had considered it necessary to visit the dress shop. They considered fabulosity and fashion a commodity for happier, more peaceful times. In that time, the store had grown cold and dusty. The racks and hangers of clothing and other finery sat untouched. Even the decadent mare herself had fallen into a state of disrepair. She couldn’t recall the last time she looked into a mirror. Her usually meticulously tended mane had split off into wild violet curls. It was truly a sorry sight to see.

The unicorn only noticed the urgent tapping of glass the second time around, provoking Rarity from her self-deprecating stupor and trotted up to the window. The blinds were closed, the dimness adding to the forlorn motif of the room. Without much a thought, she carefully and deliberately unlatched the lock on her expensive window...

“About time!” Said Rainbow Dash, accompanying her statement with a technicolor entrance, sending a burst of cold wind through the stuffy boutique. A vast miscellany of scrap cloth churned in the air like leaves, adding to the existing mess. Opalescence released a panicked caterwaul and dived for cover under the nearest piece of furniture. Rarity hissed at the sudden intrusion of blinding sunlight, shielding her face with her foreleg. The cyan pegasus brought herself to a hover and rolled her eyes.

“Geez Louise, Rars, couldja stop acting like vampire or something? You’ve locked yourself in here for days! What gives?!”

“It’s all I knoowwww!” She wailed into her hooves. “I was born in this house, and shall DIE in this house!”

Dash merely sighed, used to her friend’s overly-dramatic antics.

“Could you at least try and look like a regular pony?” She bolted into the bathroom and returned with a small mirror. “It’s like ya took a bath in your own sweat and dived off Cloudsdale again.”

The unicorn took the mirror with her blue aura and gazed into the reflective surface. Her half-closed, drowsy eyelids shot wide open.

+++++

Across the land, all ears bore the unholy noise that sounded from Ponyville. It rang out like a high-pitched thundercrack, causing ponies to stop and press their ears to their hooves, stuff them with whatever absorbent substance they could find in a moments notice, bury their heads under the dirt, anything to deter the screech that assaulted their skulls.

Lyra fell out of her now ill-fitting bed and held her head with her hands, wincing in pain. The sound made the house itself vibrate. From the same bed, Bon-Bon fell on top of the centaur with a squeak.

Afar in the city of Canterlot, Princess Luna’s weary head perked up from her desk teeming with parchment scrolls and royal documents. She whipped in the direction of the small town bordering, a perplexed expression crossing her face. She wondered what could possibly cause such a disturbance.

Across the vast multiverse, upon the great Forgeworld of Kirrac, two figures sat facing a glowing cogitator screen. One, robed in red and absolutely unmoving with many metallic, augmetic limbs sprouting from his body, clacked away at the runes of the interface panel, causing multitude of symbols to appear on the screen. His gleaming optics never left the monitor. The other, clad in a Mechanicus tabard, watched, placing head almost right next to his cowled companion’s. Finally, the robed one shifted in what seemed like irked discomfort, causing the censer chained to the boom protruding from his back to swing in a trail of dissipating smoke. He spoke in a tinny, artificial voice, derived from his voxcaster.

“Is there something you require of me?”

“Heard the astropaths caught a strange ripple in the Immaterium today.” Said the nosey acolyte, ignoring the tech-priest’s prompt. “Very strange. They say it originated from reality, though. What could create such a thing?”

“That has nothing to do with my work at the moment. Remove yourself from my personal space.”

He did not. He merely continued to stare at the screen with a goofy grin plastered on his face as the priest typed away in silence.

“So...” The acolyte spoke after a minute. “Do you think you could explain to me exactly why ‘bipedalism ru-’”

He could speak no longer, suddenly finding a bloody, bladed dendrite embedded in his eye and through his medulla oblongata. The body slid from his tentacle-limb and hit the metal floor with a meaty thump. The priest kept clicking away, even as his servitor came to dispose of the leaking corpse.

“It just does.” He said finally.

+++++

“Agh! Dear sweet Celestia!” Dash smarted as her hooves were clamped over her ears. A small trickle of blood ran from under them. “Could you warn me the next time you do that?”

Rarity had fervently scooted away to the other side of the room, pressing herself against the wall, far away from the voice-shattered mirror. She tried to cover all of herself with her forelegs, failing, only managing to obscure part of her face. So, she wrapped her body with silky emerald cloth from a nearby spool.

“Don’t look at me! I’M HIDEOUS! I’M A MONSTER!!!”

By that time, the pegasus recovered from her splitting headache and the pain of possible permanent hearing loss. She wafted over to the pile of cloth and festering self-loathing and tugged at one of the edges.

“Rarity-”

“GO AWAY!” The cover was pulled closer. Dash flinched for a split second.

“Rarity!” She huffed. “You know that I of all ponies don’t care if you look like a trainwreck!” In hindsight, not the best choice of words.

“SAVE YOURSELF! DO NOT SUFFER UPON THE BEHALF OF THIS ABOMINATION ANY LONGER!!!”

Rainbow Dash ground her teeth together. “Alright! That’s it!”

Flexing her wing muscles, she sped around and around the cloth pile, causing it to unravel along with the torrential chaos the pegasus-made tornado was adding to the room. Once Rarity came floating out of her cloth cocoon, she was swiped up with blistering speed and carried to the bathroom. The door was slammed and the shower faucet squeaked, carrying additional sounds of violent conflict and painful protests from both sides. Steam seeped from beneath the door, which creaked and bulged with the rhythm of the battle. After a minute of this, a moment of silence ensued. Then, the bathroom door swung open, billowing warm mist. Out walked Rainbow Dash and Rarity, the latter of which looked her normal self: impeccably clean with her grandiloquent, curled mane.

“There!” Dash hovered above her, hooves on her hips. “Feel better?”

Even though the dumbfounded unicorn was still trying to figure out how her hoydenish friend managed to compress the meticulous process of styling her hair from half an hour, at the very least, to several seconds, she still had the composure to sputter a reply.

“Y-yes... I suppose...”

“Good, ‘cause we got work to do tonight!” The cyan pegasus put up her forelegs and threw a few mock jabs into the air. “We’re gonna fight the Tank!”

Rarity blinked. “What? Tonight?!”

“Yeah! Heard Ellis talking to his buddies! He says tonight’s the night we’re gonna kick that monster’s oversized butt!”

The unicorn’s heart rate increased and it suddenly became a bit harder to breathe. “A-and you expect me to come with you?!”

“Well... yeah.” She ceased her pseudo-fisticuffs gave her sumptuous friend a perplexed look. “I mean... he’s our friend now, Rars. Of course we’re gonna help him!”

“It’s too dangerous!” She blurted. “For any of us! We could easily be... be killed!”

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re scared!” She glided down to her level. “Remember the first time we all went into Everfree Forest looking for the Elements? You went up and bucked that Manticore in the face!”

“That was different! You weren’t there that night!” She tried not to recall those images, those emotions, but pictures of yellowed eyes, a putrid, drooling maw, and necrotic, pustulent skin all twisted together in a revolting parody of life flashed through her head regardless. She had to concentrate and hold her gut together. The mere thought made her want to purge the meager contents of her stomach. “There are no words to describe just how... horrible it was!”

Dash narrowed her eyes. “Well I don’t care, and you shouldn’t either! Who cares how scary it is! All the more reason to come! Ellis is gonna need all the help he can get!”

Rarity clenched her eyes shut, trying to block out the pervasive shadow of the monster; the very thing that had stolen her sleep for the last couple of weeks. How could she possibly build the fortitude to face it again? She was but a humble fashion designer. She had no business with all this... this monster hunting.

“I... I’m sorry. I just can’t do it again, Rainbow Dash. I can’t bear it.” She sullenly trotted over to her paper-caked sketch table. “I’m not brave like you. I’m no fearless individual like Ellis. I... I can’t even think about that nightmare anymore!”

A “harumph” sounded from the pegasus. “Fine! Don’t come! See if I care!” She whirled away from the despondent mare and started to drift towards the open window, her wings flapping softly. Halfway there, she slowed to a halt, sighed, and turned back around, her short-lived anger had evaporated like it was never there.

“What happened to you, Rarity? You’d never turn down a friend in need, and right now, we need you! Bad!” Dash, once again, swooped down to meet her companion at her level, this time landing. After several painful seconds, Rarity managed to meet her eyes.

“Please don’t think less of me. There only so much a lady can take. I... wouldn’t be of much help to you, anyhow.”

“Horseapples!” Dash exclaimed. Her vulgarity caused the alabaster unicorn to draw herself back an inch or so. “You’ve got more spunk than everypony gives you credit for! I know that for a fact! You might not believe in you, but I do!” She placed her hooves on Rarity’s shoulders. “I know you can help us! You’re our friend, and we’re your friends! Together, we can do anything!”

The fashonista’s eyes went to the floor. “I’m not so sure... I... I left her... Fluttershy...”

“Yes! Think of Fluttershy! You gonna let that jerk get away with that?”

Her jaw tightened. She turned her head. Rippling illustrations of broken friends and broken promises coursed through her mind. “No...”

“You gonna let it waltz around knowing that it put our best friend in a hospital bed?”

“I don’t need any more convincing.” Rarity faced Rainbow Dash, her expression set in grim determination. “I’m coming.”

A grin spread across the speedster’s face. “Atta girl!” She removed her hooves from her shoulders and corkscrewed into the air. “I already got Twilight coming. Jus’ need to get two more on the team!”

The unicorn didn’t seem to be listening as Dash made for the window once more.

“We’re gonna meet at the same path at the edge of Everfree that goes to the old ruins. Ya know, the one with the bridge.” Before she closed the window, she peeked around for one final question. “By the way, have you seen Pinks? She’s not in her room.”

Rarity raised her eyebrow quizzically. “I haven’t seen her for weeks. Not since that night...”

The technicolor pegasus didn’t wait for her to trail off. “Well, see ya later!” She pumped her wings and sped off in a blur of rainbow and another gush of wind, leaving behind an almost closed window.

Rarity stood still for another moment, sitting on her haunches, thinking. She thought about that fateful night. She thought about the crushing fear of being near that abomination, how it roared and desolated everything in its path. She thought about Fluttershy and how she put her life on the line for her sake, for the sake of the entire town. Rarity grimaced. She owed it to her friend, to herself, to do nothing less.

Not to mention that she had to make sure that Ellis would come out of this ordeal in one piece so she could truss him up in appealing attire. That was a promise she had to personally see to. She mentally berated herself for not pursuing this endeavor earlier with all this free time spent wasting away. Had he been wearing the same set of clothes for these past few weeks? Ghastly!

She drifted away from her thoughts and took a look at her chaotic surroundings. This being the first she was lucid in days, the sight made her blanch.

“I supposed I better tidy up...”

+++++

The hours passed by and the bricks stacked higher. They had the wall repaired by quitting time, earning the trio a congratulatory auditory assault from their boss. After massaging their ears and recovering from hearing damage the second time today (that included the soul-rending shriek of unknown origin from earlier), Ellis, Sawdust, and Ball-Peen set out into town together. The first stop was Mr. Fob’s workshop, being the closest. Pipsqueak was there to greet Ellis as he knocked on the door. The playful colt had no pirate attire on today, but still spoke in a seafaring dialect. Much to his disappointment, the human was only here to pay his father. Seeing his crestfallen face, Ellis ruffled his brown mane and promised him that they’d play some other time. He entered the shop, spoke with Fob for a couple minutes, and gave him his due.

The next stop was the woodworker’s shop. Turns out that her name was Buckeye. It was such an uncanny name that it baffled the mechanic that he failed to remember it. That, coupled with her uncommon mottled brown-and-black coat and emerald-green mane had Ellis mentally kicking himself for his forgetfulness. She wasn’t as warm as most Ponyvillians, but polite nonetheless. Ellis paid her and went back outside, where Saw and Peen were waiting patiently.

The last stop before Rum’s place was the smithy. Entering the balmy forge shop, he saw that Wrought Iron was out running errands, as the note on the counter declared. Ellis left fifteen bits on the counter, scrawling out his name on a piece of paper in his best Equestrian, which, given he only started learning a few days ago, was not very legible. His regular handwriting wasn’t spectacular, anyhow.

Finally, they traversed the town and arrived at The Prancing Show-Pony. Ellis hated walking by here. It was a disheartening sight. The rusted, weathered sign squeaked in the wind. The gaping hole near the door was boarded up with with a slab of plywood. It looked like an ugly stain on the rustic decor, one that bore an aura of pain and strife like a sticky, grimy film. Ball-Peen fluttered up to the door.

“Rum gave me a few things to do with the bar while she was recovering. I usually do them later, but I might as well do them now, if you don’t mind.” He said while he pushed the door open, courteously beckoning his co-workers to enter first.

The tavern interior was even more depressing than the exterior. The place was a complete wreck: split furniture was strew around the room. The floor was dotted with massive divots and splinters, the origin of which they knew all too well. The far wall exhibited a another hole, similar to the first in size and jaggedness. That, too, was boarded up with plywood. The hearth sat cold and unused, black ashes spilled onto the stone surface before it. As the group followed Ball-Peen behind the counter, the faded, yet still harsh smell of all kinds of alcohol wafted into their nostrils. At the very least, most of the glass had been cleaned up, but the pungent liquids had already soaked into the woodwork. The musty smell of mold and wood-rot was starting to take precedence over the booze. With the absence of Rum Run, the usual patrons had to find some other place to drink. Hardly anypony had been through the door since.

The human and the unicorn followed the achromatic pegasus as he oversaw various things around the bar. He dusted off the counter, checked the drink-stocked cabinets, gave the mouse traps a once-over. Finally, with the addition of a few other things, he made his way to a large wooden trunk by the wall, palpably labeled “Ice”. Ball-Peen drifted over and rapped the lid with his hoof twice.

“Wake up! It’s the afternoon already!”

To add to Ellis’s confusion (and alarm), a rustle emanated from the icebox. The lid squeaked open, revealing a drowsy, tinted-glass pony. Dark liquid visibly sloshed within her as she toss the lid open the rest of the way and rubbed her eyes.

“Wha...?” She yawned with a strange, fizzy voice.

“It’s, like, 3:00, Coke. I think it’s time for you to get a move-on.”

“Oh, fine.” She sighed and climbed out of her frozen bed, watery ice slipping down her glossy body. She somehow tidied her red glass-mane, shook off the last of the ice, and trotted for the door, her insides splashing about as she moved.

“Hi Saw. Hi Ellis.” She bubbled before pulling the entrance open and disappearing behind it. The human’s jaw was practically on the floor.

“How...? What...? Who...? Fuh...?” He turned to each of his co-workers, face contorted into bewilderment, making wild hand gestures. To say they didn’t understand what he was so rustled about was an understatement. Finally, he exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes clamped shut. “Ah need a moment here...”

They all sat in uncomfortable silence. Ball-Peen, shifting awkwardly and clearing his throat, spoke up. “It’s really not that hard to explain. She’s a-”

Ellis held his other hand up, silencing him. Another moment went by. The human took a deep breath in, a deep breath out...

“Alright!” He exclaimed. “Movin’ on!”

“You okay, dude...?” Sawdust attempted to press.

“Movin’ on!” He urged with a wavering smile planted on his face. He placed a balled fist on his hip and raised his other arm, pointing forward. “Show us th’ way, BP!”

+++++

The heavy wooden door groaned open, carrying the warm odors from the dark into the air outside. An oil lamp was the first to appear, peeking out from the widening doorway and painting the room a flickering, sunny amber. Ball-Peen, flapping his wings, hovered inside, followed by his comrades. The pegasus began lighting the wall-mounted lamps, transferring the flame from his to theirs, slowly brightening the stone-walled interior. At last, it was revealed to them. Oak barrels of mead, brandy, whiskey, ale, and grog. Bottles of wine: red, white, and everything in between. Shelves went clear to the ceiling, holding vodka, tequila, tiswin, cider, gin, rum... more drinks than anypony could possibly name. The multitude of colored glass glimmered in the lamp-light, casting subtle hues across the shelves where the light touched them. A single tear fled down Ellis’s cheek as he beamed with something that could only be described as pure, childlike joy.

“It’s Christmas...”

As Sawdust filed in, stricken by open-mouthed awe at the raunchy bar-pony’s grand collection, Ellis clapped his hands together. His demeanor shifted instantly to a sort of mirth the two ponies haven’t seen in days.

“Alrighty, boys! Welcome tah molotovs one-oh-one!” He declared. “We gonna hit the ‘sauce’ an’ make some ‘hot-sauce’!”

The human sauntered in and perused the shelves while Saw raced from one end to the other, his eyes wide and hysterical.

“Look at this stuff, man!” He pointed to a dark, squarish bottle. “35-year gryphon bourbon! Those guys would peck your eyes out before they’d let you have this stuff!”

Ellis peered through the shelves. “Whaddarya, an alcoholic?”

“Hey, I know a bit about drinks, man.”

“What’s this stuff?” Ball-Peen raised his voice from another part of the cellar, holding a particularly dusty, squat bottle filled with a semi-cloudy, eggplant-colored fluid. “It says ‘Skoljinn’.”

“No way...” The sandy unicorn bolted to where his friend was in almost an instant, nearly yanking the bottle away from Peen’s hooves with his levitation. “This is a Horsic spirit made from herbs and basilisk blood!”

“Isn’t that poisonous?”

“Not if you do it right. But nopony knows how to do it anymore. This must be hundreds of years old!” He carefully placed the bottle back on the shelf.

“Where the hell did Rum get all of this?” Ellis called.

“Some ponies say that she used to be a smuggler. The seafaring kind. She knew how to get past any customs, taxes, and restrictions the world over. Had her own ship, her own crew...”

Ball-Peen started to shift uncomfortably again. “Don’t you think that’s a bit... ya know... out there?”

“You tell me.” Saw smirked at his friend. “You’ve been sitting at her side in the hospital every chance you get.”

While Peen face went noticeably pink, Ellis squinted at a few more labels, trying to make them out as best as he could.

“She never struck me as the kinda gal who’s been livin’ quietly all her life. That’d be pretty freakin’ awesome if it was true.” After passing a few more shelves, he gave up trying to decipher the obnoxious Equestrian characters. “Alright, y’all gonna hafta help me with this. Ah can’t read fer shit.”

The human whirled around and faced his quadrupedal companions. “We’re gonna need vodka ‘er some other strong drink. Saw, try an’ find some in bottles that kin be tied an’ hung on a belt. Peen, ya know more ‘bout where Rum keeps her stuff ‘round here. Find a bowl, a couple a’ dish-cloths, an’ sugar.”

When the two were dispatched, Ellis spied a small table and a stool in the corner the room. He dragged them out into the open and brushed off the substantial layer of dust from the table’s surface, which immediately sent him into a small coughing fit. As he cleared the air in front of his face with his waving hand, Sawdust came trotting back with two bottles held in an aura of red-orange. They were a bit slender for his liking, but they both had a deep, edged crevice that stretched all the way around the bottle before the upper half dramatically tapered off into the neck. Ellis imagined he could string around that and hook it to his belt. The crusty, tan-bordered label was so worn that he couldn’t make out half of the words even if he could read them.

. “Perfect.” He removed the bottles from the air, the levitative glow disappearing. The human turned them in his hands, scrutinizing them. “This seems like real fancy stuff.”

“Yeah.” Saw agreed. “Bit of a waste, but at least I don’t drink vodka. Makes me sick.”

After another moment, Ball-Peen fluttered back into the room, his forelegs precariously cradling several objects. Ellis and Sawdust helped get the medium-sized metal bowl, the pile of clothes, and the sugar onto the table. The dish-cloths all ranged from whitish and thoroughly worn to a dull brown, the latter looking like it was torn from a rucksack. And he also brought not a bowl of sugar, not a small container, but a half-full heavy paper bag of it.

“Damn, man, Ah told ya tah bring me some sugar, not all a’ it!”

The pegasus shrugged. “Well... better we have extra than not enough.”

The mechanic sat down and went to work, procuring a corkscrew from the other room and opening the two glass bottles. He put two dry rags into the bowl and tipped the bottles into it. The pungent, stinging smell of alcohol made itself known. When both bottles were emptied to about the crevice line, Ellis patted down the cloths, soaking every inch of them. He pushed the bowl aside, letting them sit a while. Next, he reached into the crumpling bag of sugar, brought out a handful, and prudently poured the white substance down the opening of each. He explained that the sugar would help the spread. He took both the bottles in each and shook both simultaneously, dissolving the sugar as best he could.

“Alrighty. That’s about all there is to it.” He set the slender vials down with a double-clack. “Now we jus’ gotta wait fer the rags tah soak up. Thanks fer all yer help, guys.”

“Happy to be of assistance, man.” His red-orange eyes surveyed their creation. “I almost feel sorry for the big guy. These ought to burn it to a crisp.”

“These?” Ellis barked. “They’ll jus’ get ‘em real pissed off, but every little bit helps.” He leaned back in the dirty stool. The uneven legs thumped on the floor. “Funny thing, though, once ya set Tank on fire, they don’ seem tah ever stop burnin...” He wrested himself from his musings and turned back to the two stallions. “Ah know it don’t seem like it, but killin’ one a’ them monster trucks on legs ain’t a walk in the park. I wish ah had a big ol’ machine gun right about now. Or a chainsaw.” He paused, as if recalling something from his time in the deep south, then his face scrunched into a grimace. “Nevermind that. Tried it once, didn’t work out too well.”

“Well, we’d like to help you out more, dude, but we’re just not cut out for that kinda work.”

“Good luck, though.” Ball-Peen pipped half-hearted. “Or happy hunting. Or... Well... What do you call it when you go out to... ya know... kill a big monster?”

Ellis smiled. “Tuesday.”

+++++

Applejack trotted along the trail with Ellis in complete, choking silence. It was nearly evening. The sun was starting to sink behind the horizon, the air was beginning to cool, chirping insects were purring out their nighttime hymn, and the air took a humid, almost metallic smell. the farmpony’s head was turned downward, eyelids half-closed in moroseness. It was as if she was already mourning. After what seemed like hours of clopping along the dirt trail, she looked back at the human tramping behind her. He didn’t notice her turning her head. His eyes were focused ahead to the dark forest not too far from where they were now. His machete scabbard was slung over his right shoulder, his shotgun over his left. The criss-crossing straps formed an “X” over his iconic t-shirt. On his belt was a pouch which held Dominic’s shells. Next to that, on the other side of his hip, were two clear, clinking bottles, their mouths stuffed with drooping rags. She was watching as he prepared back at her house. She saw him put the lighter and the adrenaline shot in his pocket. He carried nothing else, save the clothes on his back and the hat on his head.

Honest to Celestia, seeing him all dressed up like that, it frightened Applejack to her very core. This was the Ellis she was afraid of. This was the Ellis that fled through her mind when he first whipped out that machete the day she first met him. This was the grim, fate-tossed, zombie-slaying Ellis that, through a relentless will to survive, a handful of lost souls, and the purest of dumb luck managed to hack and shoot his way through miles upon miles of blood, rain, bombs, and infected flesh. This was the Ellis the mare hoped she’d never have to see again, but fate still called him to put one last tortured being to rest.

Applejack turned back to the path ahead. She had to be strong! She had to be brave! She wasn’t about to let this last obstacle stare her down and make a foal out of her! She would see that Ellis got through this whole ordeal alive if it was the last thing she did!

The orange mare nearly fell over when she realized her hooves were touching the rickety surface of the old bridge. She drew herself from her distracting thoughts and cleared her throat.

“Well... here we are.”

Ellis took a look around at the imposing, dark treeline that lay before them. Shadow hung around it like a fog, swallowing the sunlight. Thick, twisted vegetation, the sort that appeared almost alien to the human reared over the burbling stream like a glistening, open maw. Usually, squawks and screeches would be baying forth like a plainsong, but for the past few weeks an eerie silence had taken hold of it. It was as if the forest itself was holding its breath in fear, hiding from a massive predator, as if even the smallest sound would bring about its doom. Applejack could feel the forest’s terror prick at her skin. The human paced past her, pulling out his shotgun. From his pouch, he withdrew two milky shells, opened the barrel, thunked them in, and closed the gun with an echoing clack.

“Thank ya kindly, AJ.” He half-smiled. “Welp, see ya later. I’ll be back ‘round midnight.”

Whistling “Save Me Some Sugar”, he began to nonchalantly promenade over the creaking wood of the bridge. It took Applejack nearly four seconds for her brain to catch up with her.

“W-wait... What?” Indignation flared in her chest as she galloped up and put herself between Ellis and the forest. “Just where the hay do you think you’re goin’, mister?”

“Well whaddya think?” He gestured. “Ah’m off tah kill me a big ol’ zombie!” He tried to take another step forward, but the farmpony’s hoof slammed down in his intended path, blocking him.

“All by yerself? Un-uh. Ah don’ think so.”

Ellis scowled and let his arms rest at his sides. “Don’ make this harder than it has tah be-”

“How it has to be?! I’ll tell ya how this is gonna be!” She raised her voice. “I’m comin’ with ya, an’ that’s that!”

The human put his hand to his forehead and sighed. “Look, this ain’t-”

Something that sounded like a whistling blip came from behind, interrupting Ellis and causing both of them to wheel around. In the center of a slightly singed circle stood Twilight Sparkle and Rarity. A faint residue of lavender still hung around them.

“Are we here on time?” The librarian said to herself, peering around aimlessly before catching sight of the duo on the bridge. She smiled and waved heartily. “Ellis! Applejack!”

“Ah shit...”

“Good to see you, darling!” Vociferated Rarity as she trotted to the tall biped alongside her friend. “Is it working well for you? Erm... the holster, that is.”

“S’fine! Really! But this... this ain’t gonna work out...”

“What isn’t?” Queried Twilight. “Did we forget something?”

“No, it’s-”

Applejack intervened. “This here blockhead was gonna go in all alone!”

“What?!”

“Ludicrous!”

“Alright, now y’all just listen here!” Ellis shouted over them. “Yeah, Ah’m goin’ it alone! Without ya! That’s the end of it! Go home! Good! Bye!”

The human began stomping across the length of the bridge and towards the forest, gun in both hands. All of the sudden, his vision was filled with purple and he was twenty paces backwards from where he was an instant before. He yelped as he lost his balance and keeled over, face-first into the dirt.

“And what makes you think we’re going to let you do that?” Twilight converged towards Ellis as he picked himself up from the ground. The rest were close behind her.

“One,” He spit the earthy taste from his mouth. “Ah got the gun, the machete, the molotovs, an’ all the means a’ killin’ a Tank, an you don’t.” He brushed the dust off of his shirt and re-affixed his hat back onto his head. “Two, Ah’ve done this before. More times than Ah kin count. And three,” He gave the unicorn a hard look. “Y’all don’ know the first thing ‘bout killin’ somethin’. Sure, you’ve fought yer share a’ monsters an’ bad guys, but you don’ know blood-’n-guts. Ya ain’t qualified.”

She gritted her teeth. “Is that so?!”

“Yeah!”

“You think I can’t handle it?!?”

“Go ‘head an’ tell me the last time ya shot a monster dead!”

Twilight looked to her left, where a small pile of sizeable rocks lay. Using her magic, she lifted three of them and tossed them high into the air. Then, her horn charged with intense light as she fired three bolts of concentrated magic in quick succession at the projectiles. They each hit their mark and the rocks were disintegrated to dust and pebbles. The unicorn crossed her forelegs with moxie pride. Ellis watching the display of marksmanship, and despite his intention to deny them, couldn’t help but remove his hat in awe.

“Goddamn Annie Oakley...” He shook his head and flung his cap back on. “This don’ change a thing! Ah still can’t take all three of ya!”

“My tall friend, your count is untrue. It seems that your party has grown by two.”

Across the bridge, from the forest itself, emerged two figures: Zecora and Dominic. The aged stallion had, strapped to his body, a strange array of pouches and corked vials, while the zebra carried a slim saddlebag.

“Greetings.” Dominic rasped in a lukewarm voice. “I pray we aren’t notably tardy.”

“Oh! Great! Awesome! They wanna come too!” Ellis whirled around and faced the librarian. “Hey Twi, why don’cha gather up the entire town an’ bring ‘em along while yer at it! We’ll all go on a big fuckin’ field trip!!!”

“Twas not Ms. Sparkle who has arranged this congregation. She may have many talents, but the ability to inform us all within half an hour’s time is not one of them.” The alchemist raised his voice considerably while still looking in the human’s direction. “And, despite your best efforts, Rainbow Dash, you are doing a marvelous job of existing today!”

A rustle emanated from a nearby tree. A cyan pegasus poked her head out, grinning sheepishly.

“Uh... Hi, Elli! Nice weather we’re having!”

He facepalmed. “Great, jus’ great! Now you’re workin’ against me, too!”

“What the hay are you talking about?!” Dash darted from the tree and lingered in front of Ellis. “We’re here to help you!”

“Ah don’ want yer help! Ah don’ need yer help!” He shouted. The speedster flinched and scooted back a few feet. “This is my fight! Mah personal slice a’ hell that’s followed me here!”

“Listen here, you smarmy faust-head!” Growled Dominic as he approached him. “That very beast is the same one who obliterated our town and slaughtered nine of our kin! I’d say that this is our fight now! Even without that fact, we still have a stake in the outcome! I, for one, would rather not have this abomination knocking down my door and destroying my life’s work in an instant!” He took a deep breath. “But, if you would rather do without our assistance, then I’ll be reclaiming those shells I’ve made you.”

“Ya can’t-”

Rarity interjected. “I’ll also take back the holster. I’m sure the fabric could be put to use for other things.”

“Now hold up-”

“And your gun, Ellis,” Twilight glared. “Since I helped make it.”

The human drew back, hugging the double-barrels of the shotgun in his arms, protecting it like it was a child. After a moment of thoughts churning in his head, he finally relented.

“Alright.” He sheathed Zoey. “You win.”

The strap came loose. The gun and holster clattered to the bridge’s wooden surface. Everypony gasped as he undid the saddlebag full of shells and tossed it to the ground alongside the fallen firearm. Dominic’s eye widened and he dived to catch the volatile ammunition. A ring resounded as Ellis drew the machete and spun it around in his hand.

“Tank burgers it is.” He stated and headed back towards the forest.

“Hey, HEY!” Rainbow Dash zipped right in front of him, forcing him to stop. “Wrong answer, bub! I didn’t get everypony here so you can ditch them!”

“Then why’dja do it then, huh?!” He retorted. “Ya got some kinda death-wish?!?”

“Look who’s talking!”

“IT WAS ME!!!”

All heads turned to the direction of Applejack. In turn, she gazed into the eyes of everypony present, then set her stern sights on Ellis. She cleared her throat.

“It was me. Ah told Dash tah get everypony here. Ah did it because ya need help. Ya need every little bit of help we kin wring from this whole situation. We didn’t spend all much time gettin’ tah know ya so you kin square-dance yer way into an open grave.”

He faltered. “But-”

“Don’t you dare back-talk me, mister! We’re comin’ with ya whether ya want tah ‘er not! Even if Ah hafta hogtie you an’ drag ya along the whole way!”

An ill-suppressed snicker came from the floating cyan pegasus, which subsequently turned to a giggle as she pedaled her hind legs in the air. The farmpony glared at her, irked.

“S-sorry...” She gasped between laughs. “That looked funny in my head.”

Another moment passed. Ellis exhaled audibly and sank to his knees. He planted the tip of the machete into the wood and leaned on it.

“Ah just... It’s just that... You guys have put up with mah shit longer than mah own mom would be willin’ tah do. Y’all’r callin’ me yer friend, even though none a’ ya never seen a human before, an’ jus’ two weeks ago, Ah was the one who put the entire goddamn town in lockdown ‘cause’a me being so damn big an’ scary. God, we hardly know each other. Ah’ve done nothin’ tah deserve all that you’ve done fer me.”

He looked at Twilight. “Ah didn’t mean all that shit ‘bout you girls not being good ‘nuff tah help me. Ah think y’all kin hold yer own ‘gainst any monster. It’s just... ‘bout five months ago... Ah was stupid as kin be... an Ah got mah best friend killed because of it.”

“Ellis!” Applejack scolded. “Ah thought we talked ‘bout this! That wasn’t yer fault!”

“That don’t matter!” He shouted over her. She was struck wordless. “All Ah’m sayin’ is... Ah don’ want me bein’ stupid tah be the death of you all.” He stood up. “Each one a’ ya... You’ve got yer whole life ahead a’ ya. Me, Ah’ve been livin’ on borrowed time. Ah knew these zombies would kill me one day. In a way, they already have, An this one’s come back tah finish the job. Well, if that colossal brain-dead zombie wants tah take me down, then Ah’m dragging his fat ass tah Hell with me!”

All was silent, save the sound of the human’s heavy breath and the gurgling stream below, the whisper of the wind and the rattle of grass. Then, Applejack bowed her head, adjusted her stetson upon her crown, and spoke deliberately.

“Ellis...”

He met her gaze with her own. “Yeah?”

The pony looked long into his pupils, taking in his expression, his conviction, his stubborn determination to whatever he feels is fair and just. She met his demeanor with her own, matching the force of her soul with her voice, pouring every inch of her being into one last statement, one that would break his will, one that would ultimately save his life:

“That is the biggest load of horseradish Ah have ever heard in mah entire life.”

A smirk grew on his face as he slipped his blade back into its place behind his back. “It was worth a shot.”

“As if!” Dash said, excitement surging through her blood. She spun through the air as Ellis picked up his shotgun, muttering a silent apology for the way he treated it, and slung it back over his shoulder. The rest of them buzzed with the same jubilation, mixed with a bit of relief. As the human went to pick up the pouch of shells, an ebon hoof caught his hand. He looked up. His eyes met the cold, ultramarine stare of Dominic.

“Don’t you even think about handling these so flippantly again!” He hissed. “Especially not around me! I would much prefer my skin intact and not completely melted off!”

“...Okay.” He stood up, strapped the pouch and addressed everyone present in a loud voice. “Alright, kiddos! All aboard fer a one-way ticket to th’ possibility of a painful death!” He withdrew his shotgun once more and gripped it eagerly. “Ah hear Hell is nice this time a’ year!”

“Our duties and deeds carry us to and fro.” Zecora contributed. “If that is our path, then to ‘Hell’ we shall go.”

“I believe it is much like your homeland, Zecora.” Dominic commented sardonically. “Miles of empty plains and not a drop of courtesy from the locals.”

The zebra’s eye twitched. “Or perhaps it is more akin to your lair, a stench-riddled place of untidy affair.”

He rolled his eyes. “Comments about my woefully mephitic estate? As much of a creative response as I expected from one of... your kind.”

She clenched her jaw. “Sour wash-rag...”

“Striped jezebel.”

“Crusty relic!”

“Blithering ham!”

“DECREPIT HACKNEY!”

“HOODOO-FLINGING ZIH-!”

“STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU!!!”

“Harumph!” They both turned away from each other as Twilight silently facehoofed. After another short while, she turned to the human.

“Alright, Ellis, lead the way!”

He saluted. “With pleasure!”

He set off across the bridge with Applejack, Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Zecora, and Dominic in tow, ready to face whatever danger awaited them in Everfree Forest. Twilight trotted closer to the lead, striking up a conversation with the biped as their voices were slowly swallowed by the forest thick canopy and growing darkness.

“So, how are we gonna find it?”

“We’ll jus’ keep on walking ‘till we bump into our little friend.”

“That... that’s it? Don’t you have a plan? Don’t you have some foal-proof way of finding that it and getting it for good?”

He chuckled. “Girl, you have a lot tah learn ‘bout zombie killin’...”

Author's Note

no tank fite 4 u

The Bridge

"Ellis! Rise and shine, sweetheart!”

Ellis snorted as he was woken by his friend, in-taking the pungent scent of unwashed body odor and dried blood. He grunted in effort to resist the urge to hurl. Nick stood over Ellis’s mattress, lightly kicking his shoulder.

“Come on you lazy redneck we don’t got all day.”

“Goddamn, man, ah need my sleep every once in a while. Getting slammed against a wall by a charger can make a guy damn tired.”

Coach stifled a chuckle from where he was seated in a folding chair nearby. “You think you got it bad? Try having yo guts ripped out by some crazy zombie bitch!”

“Whatcha do in the bed with your girlfriend is not our business, Coach.” Nick snarked. Coach got up, glaring daggers at the suit wearing scammer.

Rochelle stepped between the two. “Alright, ladies, break it up. We got better things to do here, like gettin’ our asses across the bridge to be choppered outta this damned place.” Ellis was sitting up on the mattress by now, rubbing his eyes clean of dirt and fatigue. Rochelle tossed him a fresh assault rifle and five extra mags. “Merry Christmas, Ellis.”

“Thanks, girl. It’s just what I’always wanted.” Ellis deadpanned groggily. Using the butt of the gun as a crutch, he shoved himself up, swaying a bit before shaking his head to disperse the last of his tiredness. His three other companions prepared themselves and their weapons.

For the last four weeks Coach, Nick, Rochelle, and Ellis have been fighting their way through hell on earth: hacking, shooting, stabbing, and burning any and every zombie between the ragtag group of fighters and freedom. Every one of them bore scars from several recent near-death occasions. Ellis had broken and bruised ribs from the charger, Nick had acid burns around his ankles (courtesy of a spitter), Coach had laceration marks from a witch and a hunter, and Rochelle sported scratches on her head from a jockey’s jagged nails. The four’s will had nearly run out. Several times earlier they had been rescued, only to be shoved right back into the mess, their hard work undone due to rotten luck. Fortunately, they knew that just across the bridge was the last evac station for miles, containing a helicopter that would take them out of this hell once and for all. They’ve been dodging the military’s bombing runs since they arrived in this city, so the least they could do was get them out and put them in some paid-for fancy hotel in Vegas where they could drink, gamble, and party for the rest of their lives. At least, that’s what Nick hoped.

“I tell ya, I’ll never forgive them if we end up being set down on some street corner. We’re basically war heroes, better than any other war heroes combined. Who else has the right to say ‘I’ve killed thousands of bloodthirsty zombies with only a shotgun and a frying pan?'” Nick meandered.

“Mmmmhmmm... all by yoself, Nick? I seem to remember your ass being save a dozen or so times by us while you complain about getting your suit dirty.” Coach replied.

Nick, however, took it in stride. “What can I say? This is my favorite suit. It’s worth more than anything you’ve ever worn, so I think that obligates me to do so.” Coach sneered and waved him off, giving up on trying to show up the dense narc. Ellis chuckled to himself while he strapped his “lucky machete” to his back.

“Look at you two, y’all sound like a married couple.” He muttered under his breath, not really wanting to drag out the conflict any longer than Coach was willing to go. To an outsider, this exchange of insults and such may seem like bitter hatred, but in truth, no stronger an alliance could have been formed between these four companions. They've all had their share of hardships that they bore together as a team those past few weeks. These arguments and fights were just Nick being Nick.

Ellis shrugged and continued to prep. He strapped on the extra mags, slung a med-kit over his shoulder, and shoved a bottle of pain pills into his pocket. This was their last stop, Ellis thought, one way or another they were going to get out of this pit.

A few moments later, Nick was tapping his foot impatiently by the red steel door, his shotgun resting on his shoulder.

“You guys ready or what? We don’t have all morning. Military says they’re gonna blow the bridge at noon today, and last time I checked, exploding bridges does a number on life expectancy.”

"Well, honey,” Rochelle called from behind an open weapons chest. “It might just be worth the wait.” With that, she stood up and brandished a six-shot revolving grenade launcher.

Nick’s jaw dropped. “No. Freaking. Way.”

Coach snorted out a laugh, now carrying his sniper rifle. “Looks like her gun’s bigger than yours!”

“Yeah, very funny. Now can we kindly move our asses to the bridge?”

Ellis removed the iron bar barricading the door. “Well all ya had tah do is ask!” Ellis quipped, much to the annoyance of Nick.

The team filed out of the safe room and toward the spot where Nick had left the radio he used to contact the military. It hadn’t been easy, but they managed to make a pact with the martial forces on the other side of the bridge. They agreed to allow them rest and gave them a window of time to get across the bridge before they destroyed it, cutting off all passage from the city to the outside world and effectively containing the hordes of infected. As Nick had said, the only difference between a diplomat and a business man was who they worked for.

Nick picked up the hand radio. “Alright, Mr. military man. We’re all rested up and ready to go.”

There was a short pause before the person on the other end responded. “Affirmative, you are cleared to proceed. The chopper is being prepped as of now.”

“Copy that.” Nick signed off and turned to his companions. “Alright, amigos, we’re gonna drop the bridge...” He paused, presumably for effect. “...but it’s gonna make a lotta noise, calling every goddamn infected to us like we have sirens on our heads. So, before we throw ourselves into the fire at the slimmest hope of being rescued, again, does anyone have an intelligent plan to keep us alive?”

Ellis thought about this for a moment. “How ‘bout we just run like hell and shoot every zombie between us and the chopper?” Coach and Rochelle nodded in agreement.

Nick shrugged. “Works for me.” With that, he opened the control box and flipped the switch.

A loud, grinding noise resounded as the mangled bridge was slowly lowered. As it came level with the ground, the ramp pneumatically bent it’s upper half upward, started to lower itself, stopped mid-ways, and fell the rest of the distance, causing a ear shattering crash that reverberated through the team's spines, making them stumble.

“Here they come!” Coach warned. As if on cue, the collective wail of the hordes of infected reached their ears.

The sound of death itself.

“RUN!” They collectively shouted. All four sprinted across the bridge. guns in hand. The first zombies came into view from behind the mess of abandoned cars, trucks, twisted metal, and broken asphalt. Ellis was the first to open fire, aiming down the iron sights and squeezing the trigger. The assault rifle barked in his hands, flinging death at the carnivorous beasts that had once been human. Smoking brass casing hit the ground with soft clinks as the bullets impacted putrid flesh. Viscous blood erupting from the wounds. One by one, the infected fell to the ground, motionless and dismembered. The rest of them opened up with their weapons. Nick blasted out buckshot with his semi-auto shotgun, Coach picked off zombies from a distance with his sniper rifle, and Rochelle saved her grenade launcher and sported her magnum instead.

Onward they continued, killing any and every bloodthirsty monster they came across. The four climbed up onto the upward slope of where the bridged had been buckled and then hopped down onto a semi, where they subsequently touched back down onto the paved road. The tide of infected had ebbed for the time being, so the group (or more likely just Coach) decided to stop and recover from their sprint.

“Well,” Ellis spoke through his heavy breaths, “This ain’t goin’ so bad after all!”

A throaty, monstrous roar sounded in the distance, accompanied by the sound of stomping, glass breaking, and metal scraping against asphalt. Fear shot through the party like electricity.

“You just had to open your goddamn mouth...” Nick said grimly.

The hulking figure made it’s entrance onto the scene by ripping right through a sideways-parked semi trailer, its various boxed contents flung off in several directions. Ellis could see it’s rippling, swollen muscles under its thin, see-through skin. He could see its beady, rage-filled eyes that were devoid of almost all intelligence Its tongue hung limply from it’s jaw-less mouth. It gave another hate-filled roar and charged towards them.

“TAAAAANNNKKKK!!!” Ellis yelled.

Immediately, Coach, Nick, Rochelle, and Ellis were galvanized into action, trying to quickly maneuver around the Tank while they unloaded as much lead as possible. Rochelle decided it was as good a time as ever to use her new grenade launcher, taking cover behind a car and aiming it up with the hulk-zombie. The other three were chased around by the Tank as they continued to shoot it until their guns went click.

The Tank started to falter under the barrage of bullets. it flailed its meaty arms around in an attempt to protect itself from the onslaught of pain. It howled and beat the ground with its meaty paws.

“YEAH! GET SOME, BIG AN’ UGLY!!!” Ellis shouted with enthusiasm over the chatter of gunfire. After this, though, he immediately regretted doing so. He had no idea if it was just the noise he made, or if it actually heard the insult, but the Tank stopped flailing and locked his bloodshot, dilated pupils onto Ellis’s terror stricken own. Ignoring the pain and the blood pouring from multiple craters on its body, the Tank bellowed and beelined straight for the life-loving mechanic. At this moment, Ellis’s gun ran dry with a dreadful click. Being stricken with fear at the moment, Ellis fumbled and dropped his last mag. The Tank was almost on top of him at this point, so he did whatever anyone would do when facing two tons of pure raging zombie muscle.

He ran like hell.

“RO! SHOOT THE DAMN THING!” Ellis screamed without reservation.

Rochelle panicked as she squeezed the trigger. The shot went wild, hitting a car right next to the Tank and Ellis, resulting in a powerful explosion compounded by a full tank of gasoline igniting. The Tank and Ellis were sent flying off the side of the bridge. The group was shocked beyond all words or expression when they realized what had happened.

Rochelle choked out a gasp as she witnessed her happy-go-lucky friend flung into almost certain death. She cried out in defiance of his fate. He was like a little brother to her. Nick felt a sorrowful pain stab his heart. He constantly picked at him, put him down, make fun of his accent, and called him a redneck. He never imagined what it would be like to loose the little guy. Coach embraced Rochelle, reassuring her that it wasn’t her fault as she sobbed into his jersey shirt. Nick looked down at his feet, trying to fight back the tears welling up around his eyes.

“We’re gonna miss you, buddy...”

Meanwhile, Ellis was in free-fall. Time seemed to slow down around him; noise seemed to deafen into a low, calm ambiance. Ellis could see the Tank falling a distance away from him, hollering and thrashing in slow-motion. Thoughts, emotions, memories... they all flashed across his brain at the speed of light in random order.

A head injury while working on an engine...

His first art project in grade school...

That one scene of his favorite movie...

Flirting with that one cute girl in high school...

Getting trashcanned by said girl’s boyfriend...

His best buddy Keith...

Ellis’s brain met a realization.

Keith...

An all pervading serenity washed over his mind, body, and soul as the cold, black waters rushed up to meet him.

"I’ll see ya soon, Keith..."

Meeting the Apple Family

Ellis walked alongside Applejack as she hauled the cart of apples along the dirt trail to the Apple family barn.

“So,” Ellis recapped, “Whatcher sayin’ is that y’all own this whole apple grove?”

“That’s right!” Applejack replied proudly. “S’called Sweet Apple Acres! The Apple family owns all this land, and it’s our job tah provide the apples fer Ponyville!”

Ellis scratched his head. “Ponyville? Now that right there just sounds silly.”

The orange mare gave him an inquisitive look. “Silly? Now why’s that?”

“Well, fer one thing, we don’t have a town named ‘Humanville’ where Ahm from. Why would y’all name a place after your species?”

Applejack gave a scoff. “Well don’ go askin’ me that stuff. Ponyville’s been around fer a loooong time. Ah grew up right next to it.”

“Well Ah don’t mean to offend, ma’am. Ahm sure it’s nice an’ all.”

“Don’t sweat it, Ellis.” Applejack assured. Honestly, she felt silly talking to a stranger so freely, not to mention said stranger was twice as tall as her and walked on two legs. But she was fascinated by Ellis; he was the farthest anything could be from looking like a pony, yet he and Applejack share so many similarities. A question formed into her mind.

“So, Ellis, where are you from?”

He grinned with gusto. “Me? Ah was born n’ raised in good ol’ Savannah, Georgia!”

“Suhvannergeorgah? Never heard of it...”

Ellis frowned. “S’nice place! Lotsa stuff tah do!”

Applejack put her hoof to her chin. “That anywhere near Manehatten?”

Ellis blinked. “Manehatten?”

“How ‘bout Stalliongrad?”

“Stalliongrad?!”

She paused. “...Neighpon?”

“AW C’MON NOW YER JUS’ MAKIN’ THIS STUFF UP!”

She giggled. “Dunno why yer frettin’ over names. They’re just places.” Ellis sighed in defeat.

Another question hit her. “Hey, Ellis, whaddya do fer a livin’?”

Ellis shrugged. “Ahm a mechanic; Ah work on cars.”

Applejack craned her neck behind her over the yoke, looking at the wagon she was hauling. “Carts?”

”Cars.” Ellis enunciated.

“What the hay is that?”

“Machines ya put gasoline in an’ they move on their own.”

“That anything like trains?”

“Kinda-sorta, ‘cept they don’t run on tracks. Never worked on a train, though.” Ellis looked over at the earth pony. “What about you? Whaddayou do fer a living?”

“Ahm an applebucker.”

Ellis halted in confusion. He dug the wax out of his ear with his pinkie. “Run that by me again?”

“Ahm an applebucker. Ah buck apples.” Applejack repeated.

Ellis still didn’t catch it. “Care to elaborate?”

Applejack huffed. “Ah harvest the apples by kickin’ the trees with mah hind legs! Is that such a outlandish concept to ya?”

Ellis waved his hand. “Naw, naw... ah just misheard ya is all. Thought ya said somethin’ else...” Ellis trailed off as a thought hit his head. A smile spread across his face.

“Say, Applejack, when do ya start buckin’ apples?”

Applejack smirked with pride, since someone wanted to talk about her profession. “It’s applebuckin’ season now. Ah start buckin’ ‘em at the crack a’ dawn.”

Ellis snorted “An’ fer how long atta time do ya buck ‘em?”

“Ah buck ‘em all day from sunrise tah sunset!”

Ellis snickered. “An’ how hard do ya buck ‘em?”

“Ah give ‘em mah signature, hard, buckin’!”

Ellis lost it. He collapsed to the ground, clutching his stomach, hooting and hollering, laughing harder than he ever laughed before. Applejack was dumbfounded.

“What’s so funny ‘bout applebuckin’, huh?” She yelled, hot-faced. Ellis continued to chortle. “Ah’ve bucked apples all mah life! AH BUCK ‘EM ‘TILL AHM DARN NEAR SORE!!!”

Ellis hollered even louder and Applejack’s face got redder. Laughter was infectious, though, and she soon found herself cracking, the corners of her mouth turning skyward.

“There ain’t nuthin’... funny bout... oh, consarn it.” She started laughing with Ellis, the two rioting together in oblivious, cathartic laughter. They rolled on the ground and laughed until their sides hurt, until they got a bad case of the hiccups. Tears rolled down their eyes and stupid, goofy grins plastered their faces. They shared the best laugh they both had in a really, really long time. After a minute or so, Ellis and Applejack lay on the ground, gasping for air, jitters and twitches mingling with their bodies. They both turned their head towards each other and gave an honest, glowing smile.

Applejack got up off the ground and reattached the yoke to the cart. “Ah reckon ah just busted mah gut there. Why was that so funny, anyway?”

Ellis grinned slyly. “Ah... no good reason. Jus’ sounded funny to me.”

Applejack looked nonplussed “Mah work is hard an’ hones-”

“Big sis! Big sis!” Apple Bloom shouted from the distance, interrupting Applejack in mid-sentence.

She released a long, tired sigh. “Here we go...”

Ellis leaned over to the farmpony. “Who’s that?” He asked.

Before Applejack could answer, little Apple Bloom came into view. “Applejack! Ah heard ya laughing an’ ah came tah see wha-” She stopped and gawked at Ellis. Compared to Apple Bloom, he was almost four times taller than her. Ellis was starting to fidget from the filly staring at him.

“Uh... hi?” Ellis said cautiously.

Apple Bloom shot forward in the direction of the human like a bullet out of a gun and started racing around his legs like a hyped-up puppy.

“OHMAHGOSH OHMAHGOSH OHMAHGOSH WHATISIT WHATISIT WHATISIT?!?!?!” She blurted all at once. Ellis was starting to feel silly.

Applejack was relieved. ”That coulda gone worse.” She thought. “All right, settle down Apple Bloom. This here’s our new friend.” Apple Bloom stopped racing around Ellis’s legs and sat in front of his legs, craning her neck up the towering figure. Ellis knelt down and stuck out his hand for a hand/hoofshake.

“Name’s Ellis. Ahm a human.” He spoke sincerely. But the filly ignored the gesture and instead inhaled a long gasp of air and began to gush out a stream of questions.

“Ohmahgosh whereareyafrom whatsthatyerwearin howdoyawalkontwolegs areyouanalien doyahaveaspaceship whatsyourcutiemark whatsthatonyourback?”

”Mah back?” Apple Bloom kept babbling on questions as Ellis reached up and grabbed the handle of his “lucky machete.” ”Ah still have it!” He exclaimed in his head. Ellis loved to tell stories, and his “lucky machete” story was quite a doozie.

Before Ellis could begin, though, Applejack shoved a hoof into her little sister’s mouth, effectively silencing her. “Hold up there, sugarcube! Ya meet a stranger an’ yer manners go right out the window?” She released Apple Bloom, who then turned her eyes to the ground and kicked the dirt a little. She raised her eyes to meet Ellis.

“Ahm sorry...” She apologized with shame in her voice.

Ellis gave her a friendly pat on the mane. “Think nuthin’ of it, girl.” She giggled a bit.

Applejack intervened. “Hey, Apple Bloom, why don’t ya go on ahead and tell Big Macintosh and Granny Smith that we’re havin’ a guest over fer supper?”

Apple Bloom gave a mock salute. “Can do, sis!” With that, she galloped off towards the farm.

Ellis scratched the back of his neck. “Aw, man, I don’t mean to impose or anything-”

“Nonsense! It won’t be any trouble! Yer our honored guest now, Ellis!”

“If y’all say so...” Ellis trailed off and walked alongside of Applejack as they trekked the dirt road. The sun above their heads indicated it was a little after noon, and they still had a few more minutes of travel ahead of them. Ellis passed the time with more questions.

“So, Applejack, how big is yer family?”

“HUGE! Why, we got relatives all over Equestria! There’s Fritter, Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel, Strudel, Tart, Braeburn...” She mimicked a counting fingers motion by tapping her hooves together in a similar fashion while naming her relatives. Ellis waved his hands in a cutting off motion.

“Alright, alright, ah get it. How about just the ones that live with you?”

“Well there’s the one you just met, mah little sister Apple Bloom. Over at the farm we got mah brother Big Macintosh and Granny Smith. What about your family?”

Ellis hesitated. He really didn’t want to talk about his family. “Uh... s’not very interesting or as big like yours... I guess I could tell ya ‘bout mah best buddy Keith! Me an him, we grew up together, two peas in a pod! We were brothers in all but blood! Why this one time, me an’ him we rigged up two lawnmowers...”

“Oh look! We’re here!” Applejack interrupted. Ellis sagged a bit in disappointment, but he turned to see a weathered, red barn. He thought it looked homely enough.

“Ahm more of a city boy, but ah did live on a farm fer about 4 months with mah great aunt!” Ellis pipped.

“Y’all don’t have tah worry, sugarcube. We’ll make ya feel right at home.” Applejack reassured. “Welcome to the Apple family homestead!”

As they strolled closer to the barn, a large, red earth pony came to meet them halfway. He had a short, shaggy tan mane, heavy, muscled shoulders and hindquarters, and he had a big, green apple adorning his flank. He switched his wheat stalk to the other corner of his mouth and narrowed his eyes in curiosity at the strange creature waling alongside of his sister. Readjusting the yoke that was commonly seen on his neck, he trotted up to talk to the two.

“So you must be this ‘Ellis’ lil’ Apple Bloom was tellin’ me about.” He spoke with a gentle, baritone voice. “Ah really didn’t know what to expect when she came runnin’ home, shoutin’ about some kinda alien that walked on two legs and that we’re havin’ him over for supper!” He flicked his head to Apple Bloom, who was bouncing right behind him. The workhorse held out hoof. “Name’s Big Macintosh. Ahm Applejack’s older brother.”

Ellis took the hoof and shook it firmly. “Pleasure to meet ya. S’nice tah be meetin’ the family.”

Big Macintosh half-smiled. “Eeyup.” He faced his sister. “I’m gonna get back on the job, sis. Y’all take care, an’ I’ll see ya for supper.”

“Can do, Big Mac.” She gave the apple cart a tug towards the direction of the farm. “C’mon Ellis, ah could use some help with this here load.”

“Sure thing, ma’am.”

Ellis and Applejack made their way to the barn door, Apple Bloom bouncing close beside them. The starry-eyed filly could barely contain her enthusiasm, her mind was bursting with questions. She absorbed every detail about the bipedal creature: his hat, his clothing, the way he walked, the strange black mark on his right ar-

Wait a second...

“Hey, mister! What’s that-”

“Sugarcube!” Applejack cut her off. “Can this wait until we get these here apples in the shade?” Apple Bloom pouted and almost protested, but Ellis gave her a smile.

“It might be best tah listen to yer sister, now. I’ll tell ya everything once I help her get these stored. That sound alright?” The little pony still frowned, but nodded nonetheless. Ellis ran ahead and swung the barn door open, squeaking on its hinges. Applejack pulled the cart into the cool, refreshing shade of the structure’s interior. Once inside, Ellis helped unlatch the cart from the yoke and pushed the cart against the far wall, properly stored. Applejack removed her yoke and hung it on a hook on the barn wall.

“Hoo wee...” She sighed, massaging and stretching her neck. “Feels good tah relax in the shade after some good ol’ hard work.”

“No kidding.” Ellis agreed, taking a seat on a barrel while Apple Bloom follow him intently. “Alright, alright, little buddy, shoot.”

Apple Bloom inhaled deeply, prepared to continue her hyper trivia, when she was once again stopped by her older sister.

“Settle down there, sis. Ask him one at a time.”

Apple Bloom thought hard for a moment, collected herself, and then pointed her hoof to Ellis’s right arm.

“What’s that right there on yer foreleg? Is that where yer cutie mark is?”

Ellis blinked. “Cutie mark?”

“Uh huh!” The little filly squeaked. “Everypony has a cutie mark! It’s something they get when they discover their special talent.” She pointed to Applejack’s flank. “Like mah big sister’s! She got hers when she found her talent in applebucking!”

Ellis took off his hat and scratched his short-cut hair. “Huh... I was kinda wondering what the hell that was. Ah thought it was just trendy.”

“Nope.” Applejack confirmed. “Ah tried to live in Manehatten with mah aunt an’ uncle, but then ah realized that mah place was here on the farm. When ah came home, this appeared on mah flank.” She gestured to the three red apples contrasting her orange fur.

“So they’re basically magically appearin’ ass-tattoos? How the hell does that work?”

She shrugged. Ellis facepalmed.

“Well, whatever. I guess you could say this is a ‘cutie mark’, but it ain’t as girly sounding. Where ahm from, this is called a tattoo.” He rolled up his sleeve to show them the intricate design that was permanently inked onto his arm. Apple Bloom ooh’d and aah’d. “But this didn’t appear on my arm. Ah had it etched on to my skin. Doesn’t make it any less true, though.”

“What does it mean?”

Ellis grinned. “It means ahm a badass zombie killin’ machine!”

The two Apple ponies shared the same flabbergasted expression.

“What, ya don’t believe me? Whaddya think this was for?” With one instinctual motion, he unsheathed his machete and held it out for them to see. It’s blade was chipped and worn, but still sharp enough to cut flesh and bone with enough force. The flat was pitted with rust and the handle was wrapped in grip-tape. To their horror, the nature of this tool was evident to them as the metal was caked with spats of black, dried blood.

“‘Fore ah got here, I went through six kinds a’ zombie hell, an’ this little sucker helped me along the way!” He got on his feet and slashed through the air horizontally a few times. “Hordes of them! Squealin’ an’ hollerin’! Trippin’ over each other tah get a taste of mah blood! Ah could tell ya ah was scared tah death, but then I’d be lyin’! I said, ‘Y’all messed with the wrong Ellis today!’ An’ ah picked up this here machete,” He twirled the blade around in his hand for effect. “An’ weeded mah way through a building full of infected. After all that, ah was covered head tah toe in blood! Stunk tah high heaven ah sure did... Applejack?”

During Ellis’s story both Applejack and her sister backed away from the human. She didn’t know what to think. Gone was the image of a friendly giant, conflicted with the visage of a madman, talking about blood and death like it was a glorious game. Applejack wasn’t ready to believe that Ellis was a psychopath just yet, but the rising fear in her heart threatened to overcome her rational. She was having a hard time believing his outlandish tale, too, but the element of honesty knew that nopony could make this up.

“What’s wrong?” Ellis stepped a bit closer. “S’not like I’d use this on you. You ain’t no zombie.” He spoke sincerely, but Applejack scooted herself and her sister a bit more in reverse, incredibly uncomfortable of the weapon in his hand.

Ellis swore his heart just landed in his stomach when he realized why they were so timid. “Aww shit guys, ahm sorry. Ah didn’t mean tah make ya scared! Ah really am a nice person, but I had tah do what ah had tah do! Them zombies don’t listen to reason-” Ellis was about to sheath the blade, when a newcomer suddenly entered the barn with a tray of baked goods in her mouth.

“Ohmygosh, Applejack!” The pink party pony exclaimed through her clamped teeth, bouncing up and down in her usual mannerism. “You just HAVE to try these apple cupcakes! They’re my new reci-” She froze in mid-bounce as she opened her eyes to the scene before her.

Pinkie Pie remained suspended in mid-air, the tray of cupcakes clattered to the barn floor as her jaw hung open. Ellis, still holding the machete, stood dumbfounded at this affront to the laws of physics. Meanwhile, said pony’s brain was electrified with sudden thoughts. These thoughts were interpreted to the best ability of the author and they are as follows:

Two legs. Scary. Big knife. Blood. Applejack. Hairless monkey. Cupcakes.

Yeah, I don’t know either...

Ellis shifted uncomfortably. “Uh...”

Pinkie released a ear-shattering shriek. “MONSTER!” She bolted out the door, leaving a blurred, pink streak behind her like some kinda cotton candy-colored rocket. The wind tugged at the trees when she raced by them. Ellis could safely conclude that it was impossible to be any more confused at that moment.

Applejack sighed. “There goes the town...”