When Princess Twilight Sparkle, in the midst of the opening ceremonies for the weekend-long diplomatic summit she herself had arranged, urgently pulled Prince Blueblood aside to privately discuss a critical problem, he was somewhat annoyed by it. It was, after all, detracting him from schmoozing with the many important creatures now milling about the royal ballroom, as well as entangling him in a situation with no advance preparation. In other circumstances, he would’ve voiced his grievances openly.
But as prince and a diplomat himself, Blueblood overlooked those grievances. She was, after all, coming to him for help, and why pass up this opportunity to demonstrate his worth to the newest ruler of Equestria? “A leaking pipe has damaged a number of the castle suites?” he repeated aloud as she’d presented her problem.
Twilight nodded. “And as it’ll take days to repair them, I need alternatives for some of the visiting dignitaries,” she said, before pointing a hopeful hoof at Blueblood. “Since you live in that big mansion, I was hoping you’d be willing to let one spend the weekend there.”
Blueblood’s face lit up. “Certainly, dear princess!” he declared, “Especially if it means a chance to socialize with some of these fine dignitaries, such as Baroness Calamansi over there.” He pointed at a noble-looking mare standing with her small entourage across the room.
Twilight turned to follow his gaze. “The dignitary from Mustangia?” she asked, sounding surprised.
“Yes,” Blueblood confirmed dreamily, admiring the tall and slender cream-colored earth pony. She was a couple years his elder but still within his same age group, and he’d long been enamored by her despite rarely ever interacting with her. Now seemed like a possible chance to change that. “She’s recently divorced, you know,” he added to Twilight, unable to hide his optimism.
“Of course she is,” Twilight deadpanned under her breath before getting back on topic. “Anyway, unless you hear otherwise from me, expect a dignitary’s arrival at your mansion before this evening.”
“Then with your permission, I will depart now to make the needed preparations!” Blueblood promised, and once Twilight dismissed him, he set off straightaway, crossing through and around the many visitors filling the hall. He was still disappointed that he could not stay and mingle longer, even having to politely turn down the pale-purple hippogriff dignitary from Mount Aris when she invited him to join her group. But he wanted to ensure everything was simply perfect for this visitor, especially if it did prove to be Baroness Calamansi, and was already planning how to do so once back at his mansion and had gathered his staff.
His musings were cut short, however, when he abruptly bumped into something big and scaly. While he reared back in surprise though, the lithe blue dragoness, arms filled with what appeared to be one of every item from the buffet, glanced down at him completely unfazed. “Oh hey,” she said, leisurely swallowing the food already in her mouth. “’Sup?”
Blueblood gave the dragon a perturbed look. “Well!” he began whilst soothing his white tux, “I am terribly sorry for that, madam, but do try not to be so flippant about…” he trailed off when he abruptly noticed a small pink splotch near his lapel, eyes widening in dismay. “…You’ve gotten icing on me.”
“Yeah, I think it was from this,” the dragon remarked, pulling a cupcake from her pile of food and popping it into her mouth before waving it off. “But whatever, right? It’ll wash off.”
“It certainly will not,” Blueblood pressed back. “Forgive my tone, but this is a high-quality tuxedo jacket, made from imported silk! It does not just wash off.”
“What? No!” the dragon replied, annoyed, and grabbed at the stain with her less-than-clean claws. “That’s not a jacket, that’s…” she trailed off upon feeling the fabric and rubbed at it blankly. “…Huh, I guess it is. Wow, it just blends right in with your white fur, like you’re not wearing anything at all.”
Blueblood, horrified at how her manhandling of his jacket was only adding to the stain, forcibly removed the offending paw from it. “Kindly stop, please!” he pleaded. “You’re only making it worse!”
“Oh, it’s still no big deal, you can just lick it off!” The dragon suggested instead, and to prove it, stuck out her tongue—far longer than any sane tongue should be in Blueblood’s opinion—and licked the splotch off herself.
Blueblood gagged in disgust before whirling upon the dragoness. Now, Blueblood was still a trained diplomat, who knew a heated temper rarely helped anything. As such, he’d kept his cool when faced with unpleasantries before. But Blueblood was also almost religious about keeping himself spotless, so in light of this creature’s open blasphemy to such doctrines, an exception was made.
“You disgusting buffoon!” he bellowed at her. “How dare you? But considering your own less than proper appearance, I suppose I shouldn’t be so surprised you are negligent in bathing!”
“Hey, no, I take lava baths!” the dragon retorted back, offended.
“Ha!” Blueblood mocked. “That explains why you smell so horridly of sulfur!”
“And what’s wrong with the sulfur smell? Better than whatever you call that fancy smell you’re putting off!”
“It’s called cologne—not that it would help you, the most odiferous creature here!”
“That’s Dragon Lord Ember to you!” the dragoness snorted smoke while haphazardly shoving her armload of food onto a nearby table. “But if you wanna go, then we’ll go, pony!”
Before either of them could get that far though, they simultaneously realized everything else had gone quiet, and upon surveying the ball room saw everyone was staring at them. Opting not to make a scene then, they both backed down, and with the fight aborted, the onlookers quickly went back to what they were doing.
“Oh, whatever,” Ember grumbled to herself while scooping up her armload of food again, starting to stalk off. “I don’t need to put up with this jerk anyway.”
“I am Prince Blueblood, I will have you know,” Blueblood couldn’t help but remind as she departed.
“Well, good!” Ember argued back, shooting him a glare. “Because I’ll tell you now—I never forget a name!”
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Ember,” Raven Inkwell sassed as she passed them.
“Nobody asked you, Starshine Rarity!” Ember shouted back before jabbing a claw at Blueblood. “Point is, this isn’t over.” She then stomped off, vanishing into the crowd.
Blueblood merely scoffed and left too, eager to get back to his task at hoof. “I certainly have far better things to do than this. So the sooner I put this behind me, the better.”
Returning to his mansion, changing into a clean suit jacket, and coordinating preparations over the next few hours helped calm Blueblood considerably, to the point he all but forgot the distasteful encounter, considering it in the past. And in Blueblood’s mind, that meant he didn’t need to dwell on it. Instead, he focused on his expected guest, having high hopes it would be his desired Baroness Calamansi and planning how he wanted to try and woo her if it was. Indeed, by the time everything was ready and the guest’s arrival imminent, he had all but convinced himself it would certainly be her.
“Now, I expect all of you to be on your best behaviors, more so than normal!” Blueblood told his mansion staff while pacing back and forth before them. “I want to make the absolute best of impressions here, so there is absolutely no room for mistakes. We cannot have Baroness Calamansi getting the wrong impressions of us—by which I mean me—now can we?”
“So it is for certain the baroness who will be visiting, sir?” one of the servants asked.
Blueblood, realizing he was jumping the gun, cleared his throat and opted not to answer. “Now, while our guest is here, I want you to treat her the same as you would me—as if she were me, even. That means any requests she makes are to be filled without question, because as far as I am concerned, consider it having my full support, whatever it may be, understood?”
There were some general murmurings of agreement to this.
“Good!” Blueblood said, heartened. He glanced at an ornate clock on a nearby shelf. “And just in time, they should arrive at any moment!” Indeed, no sooner had he said so was there a knock on the mansion door. “There they are now!”
“Shall I go answer it then, sir?” another servant asked, already moving in that direction.
But Blueblood dismissed them all with the wave of his hoof. “No need,” he said, moving to answer it himself. “I think such an important guest calls for the lord of the manor to do the honors!” he then marched into the spacious front entry and, with a proud flourish, swung open the door. “Welcome, lovely baroness, to my exquisite—oh dear.”
The creature standing on his doorstep was not Baroness Calamansi. Instead, it was an all-too familiar blue dragoness carrying a plain burlap bag over one shoulder.
“Hey,” Ember greeted with a smug grin. “Remember me?”
Blueblood gaped at her. “You,” he breathed with dread.
Ember made a teasing wave back. “’Sup, Bluebutt?” she said before letting herself in. “Guess this is where I’ll be spending the weekend!”
“Wait, what?” Blueblood began to object, but any further objections were silenced when Ember casually tossed him her bag. He managed to catch it, but the bag proved far heavier than it looked and the unexpected weight knocked him over.
Ember ignored this as she took in the entry hall and whistled. “This place is intense,” she remarked aloud. “I mean, just look at this living area!”
“This would actually be the front entry, thank you!” Blueblood corrected as he picked himself up again.
“Seriously?” Ember said, shooting him a look. “But it’s so huge, like a cavern! There’s even an echo, see?” She cupped her claws around her snout. “Echo! Echo!”
“What are you doing here?” Blueblood hissed as he moved to confront the dragoness.
“Well, Princess Purple Smart said you were offering to host dignitaries at your mansion, so I volunteered,” Ember explained, sidestepping the unicorn to move deeper into the mansion.
“You did?” Blueblood repeated in growing horror, heart plummeting as he realized the true depth of his situation. He hurried to chase after her, pausing only to quickly pass off Ember’s bag to a passing servant, also thrown onto the floor from its weight. “Hold on, hold on,” he continued as he moved to confront Ember again, “This is about earlier, at the opening ceremonies, isn’t it?”
“Ooh, he really does have a brain!” Ember confirmed, shooting him a smirk before continuing to explore.
Blueblood paused to take a deep breath before putting on a more professional demeanor. “Then about before—I apologize for my outburst. I was out of line, and I am sorry if I said or did anything to offend you,” he diplomatically told her.
“And I appreciate that,” Ember replied back. She leaned down so to ruffle his blond mane. “But you’re not getting rid of me that easily, Bluebutt.”
“Blueblood,” the prince corrected, continuing to follow her as she moved further into his mansion. “And please, there must be some sort of agreement we can come to other than—”
“Sure lot of schmancy knickity-knacks you have in this place,” Ember commented aloud as she stopped to examine some.
“…well, I am a prince,” Blueblood couldn’t help but proudly remind. He joined her in examining the objects decorating most of the mansion. “And so you tend to collect a lot of valuables after—” he was cut short when he heard a sudden crunching noise and turned in time to see Ember biting into a particularly large gemstone on display. “What are you DOING?!”
But no sooner had Ember done this was her face skewing up, spitting the mouthful of gemstone onto the floor at Blueblood’s hooves (to his disgust) and proceeding to wipe off her tongue with her claws. “Bleh! Cubic zirconia! What are you even doing with a fake gemstone?”
“Obviously, I don’t keep all of the real treasures out where they might be easily stolen!” Blueblood reasoned irately, sidestepping the blob of chewed gemstone now staining his floor. “Those are all mostly kept safe in a private vault at the Canterlot Bank.”
Where Blueblood was used to most being puzzled by this practice though, Ember immediately nodded in understanding. “Ah, okay, that makes sense. Gotta make sure your hoard stays secure and all.”
Blueblood was taken aback by her agreement for only a second. “It’s not a hoard,” he grumbled under his breath.
“Sure it’s not. Not that it matters for me, since I can expect everything that looks like a gem won’t actually be.”
“Well, there are still a few exceptions.” Blueblood directed her attention to a series of small statues set on display. “These, for example, are carved from the finest diamonds available on this side of the Celestial Sea!”
Ember skeptically picked one up to examine. “Are these statues of yourself?”
“Yes!” Blueblood confirmed, beaming. “I originally commissioned just one, but I loved it so much that I had five more made so to—” He was again interrupted by a crunching noise as Ember bit off the head of the one she held. “Would you stop DOING that?!”
“Oh please, you’ve got five more just like it!” Ember justified as she chewed.
“Yes, but surely you understand the importance of having a full six? Think of how many significant things come in sets of six! Six Elements of Harmony, six bearers, six—”
“You said these were made of diamond, right?”
“Correct, the finest diamonds available on this side of the—”
“It’s quartz.”
“What?”
Ember pointed to the headless statue in her claws. “This. It’s quartz.”
Blueblood shook his head. “No, no, no, I was assured that they were all made from the finest diamonds available on this—”
“Look, you can tell.” Ember looked around for a second. “You got anything that’s actual diamond to compare with?”
Blueblood furrowed his brow, not following. He motioned half-heartedly to his lapel. “Well, I suppose my breastpin has a real diamond in it, but—”
He was shocked into silence when Ember ripped said pin off his jacket then, before he could protest, licked its small and decorative gemstone. “Mm-hmm, mm-hmm,” she hummed aloud, nodding her head before focusing back on Blueblood. “Now stick out your tongue.”
“I beg your pardon, but I am certainly not doing anything of the—blargh!” he was cut short when Ember did it for him, pulling his tongue out with her claws.
She rubbed the gemstone of his pin upon it. “Now, see how that tastes like a gravelly carbon?”
“Blehblubek!”
“Now taste this.” Ember rubbed the statue against his tongue next. “Notice how it tastes more dusty and grainy?”
“Bluhblibbib!”
“Yeah, only quartz would taste like that,” Ember held the statue up to examine again. “My guess is that whoever carved these ripped you off.”
Blueblood liberated his tongue from her grasp and proceeded to sputter. “Do you ever wash your claws? They taste horrendous!”
“Oh, like you go around tasting dragon claws,” Ember dismissed with a roll of her eyes, and continued eating the statue. “Do you have anything that’s actually valuable in this place?”
“If you must know, there is one thing, but it’s no gemstone.” Blueblood escorted her to where an ancient painting of a white stallion hung within a glass case. “This is a portrait of my great-great-great-great-great-great-great…”
“I get it, distant relative,” Ember interrupted to summarize.
Blueblood shot her a look but pressed on regardless. “Not just any relative, he was the very first Blueblood! The one that started the whole of our noble line! He was an honored diplomat during Equestria’s earliest and most troubling times, achieving many great victories that helped shape the country into what it is today. He is my greatest inspiration.” Blueblood gazed longingly into the eyes of the portrait. “I can only hope to be at least half the stallion he was.”
Ember snorted at that. “Yeah, that’s never happening.”
Blueblood was shooting her another scowl when a servant made a timely appearance. “So no baroness, sir?” he asked while taking in Ember with an amused look. Ember gave him a casual wave.
“Apparently not, but I seem to have business to attend on that front,” Blueblood grumbled, turning to walk off. “Please see to it that the…dragon lord…is settled in for now. Meanwhile, I need to have an emergency meeting with Princess Twilight so to…clarify this particular arrangement.”
Ember didn’t miss the implications. “Still not getting rid of me that easily, Bluebutt!” she promised.
“Oh, we shall see about that, dragon!” Blueblood vowed back, taking it as a challenge.
Unfortunately, Ember wasn’t wrong. By the time Blueblood met with Twilight later that evening, the alicorn quite happily gushed to him about hosting Ember. She explained that until this happened, Ember hadn’t expected to stay the whole weekend, as apparently she had a dragon trying to challenge her position back in the Dragon Lands and didn’t want to be away for too long—or some such barbarism that Blueblood wasn’t especially concerned about. This naturally made it harder to reveal that he wished to decline hosting Ember after all, but certainly once he explained it was all just Ember’s way of getting back at him, Twilight would understand.
However, this banked entirely on Ember not having explained this to Twilight like Blueblood assumed when, regrettably, she already had. Worse still, Twilight had taken Ember’s side. She assured Blueblood that she’d made Ember promise to behave herself and not do anything like burn down his mansion. She’d even vaguely suggested the crown would cover any incurred expenses regardless. But otherwise Twilight wouldn’t budge on the matter.
“I think this will be good for the both of you,” she told Blueblood when he objected. “Plus maybe it’ll help you to look beyond that little universe you tend to so exclusively live in.”
Then before Blueblood could object further, Twilight left to meet with the visiting Diamond Dog pack leader from Sapphiria. Thus, with no way out of this mess, Blueblood returned home defeated and in foul enough of a mood that he wished to simply have dinner and go to bed. When he stepped through the door well after sunset though, he found his mansion suspiciously quiet, and considering he supposedly had a dragon lord loose inside, this worried him quite a bit.
“Hello?” he called in concern while wandering deeper into his mansion. Nothing seemed out of place. “Is everything all right?” Hearing activity towards the kitchens, he proceeded in that direction to investigate. Inside he found Ember seated on the island counter and messily eating some monstrosity of a sandwich she must’ve made herself, as evidenced by his normally spic and span kitchen being now quite untidy. He caught her mid-chew though, so this allowed him to get in the first word for a change. “Do get down from there, ponies use that so to prepare food, not for seating their rears upon it!”
Ember, very pointedly, instead ground her rear unpleasantly on the countertop just long enough to make Blueblood squirm. “So…I’m still here,” she noted with a smirk once she’d cleared her mouth. “I take it your meeting didn’t go as hoped?”
“Unfortunately,” Blueblood conceded. A quick glance showed Ember was alone. “But never mind that—where is all my staff?”
“Oh them,” Ember waved the matter off. “I told them all to go home.”
Blueblood did a double take. “You…you what?”
“Well, they were constantly asking if there was anything they could do for me!” Ember groused as she continued eating. “Which is nice, but I’m a very independent dragon, so when they said that you’d said to treat me with the same authority as yourself…” Blueblood groaned and buried his face in his hooves. “…I told them to not worry about it and to take the weekend off. And they did!” Her gaze turned distant. “Surprisingly quickly, too.”
By this point, Blueblood was trying to find a way to bury his face even deeper into his hooves, moaning to himself. “So now you’ve effectively deprived me of my staff.”
Again, Ember pshawed that aside. “Well, who actually needs that many creatures under foot anyway?” she remarked before taking another bite of her sandwich. “I’d rather just do it myself.”
“Yes, but why do something yourself when you can have a servant do it for you?”
“And yet, when you want something done right, you do it yourself. Besides, I’m sure they all have better things to do this weekend.”
Blueblood glared at her. “You’ve still left me without a chef,” he stressed. “So who will be making my dinner?”
Ember just shrugged. “Make it yourself, I guess.” She held up the atrocity she was eating. “That’s what I did. And I’m sure a pony of your high-standing is more than capable of fixing himself something to eat,” She gave Blueblood a very pointed look.
She seemed to know quite well what Blueblood loathed to admit—he didn’t have much experience cooking. “I’d rather make you do it,” he threatened.
Ember was unswayed. “Well here, you can have a bite of this.” She proffered him her sandwich, allowing a blob of its contents—Blueblood still wasn’t quite sure just what it was supposed to be—fall onto the floor with a wet splat.
Blueblood suppressed a gag. “I would prefer something that’s actually edible, thank you.”
Ember rolled her eyes, withdrawing her meal. “Fine,” she relented. “What do you wanna eat instead?”
Blueblood thought for a moment. “A creamy squash risotto with toasted pepitas sounds delightful,” he replied.
Ember gaped at him. “Dude—I don’t even know what that is.”
Dejected, Blueblood reconsidered. “Then I suppose some sort of pasta would suffice.”
“Now that we can do,” Ember pointed a claw at a cupboard. “Pots are in there. Pull one out, fill it with water, and bring it to a boil.”
“What, myself?” Blueblood complained, surprised.
“Bluebutt, seriously—is the almighty prince really SO helpless that he can’t make his own meals?”
Blueblood glared at her, but he refused to let her make a fool of him. “Fine,” he said, grabbing a pot from the cupboard and placing it on the stove. “How hard can it be, anyway?”
Five minutes later, once they’d finished extinguishing the stove and she’d stopped cackling with laughter, Ember commented that it did take talent to somehow set water on fire. Unamused, Blueblood concluded they would have to try something else.
So Ember pulled out a couple slices of bread, a butter knife, and some other condiments. “So what’s this one supposed to be?” Blueblood asked, watching her, “The makings for some sort of gourmet toast?”
“Nah, I was actually thinking something simpler—peanut butter and honey sandwiches,” Ember replied as she finished the last bites of her own sandwich. “Ponies eat that, right?”
Blueblood scowled. “Yes, but…it’s a commoner’s dish.”
“Pure poison for you, I’m sure,” Ember commented sarcastically, nosily licking her claws clean. “Look, if it works for other ponies, it’ll work for you, Bluebutt.” She shot him a smirk. “Unless you think you can’t even make that much.”
Blueblood refused to be outdone though and allowed her to talk him through the steps. It was rather straightforward, but Blueblood thought his sandwich looked rather sloppy and unsightly once done. “Are…we truly certain this is proper food for any pony?” he skeptically asked.
“Don’t go judging a sandwich by its looks,” Ember reprimanded in turn.
Unable to dispute that and still wanting to have something to eat before bed, Blueblood relented, delicately bringing the sandwich towards his lips. He still didn’t think he should be eating this, but with Ember watching intently and not wanting to give her the satisfaction, he forced himself to take a bite. He expected it to taste horrid or at least underwhelming, so the lush sweet and nutty flavor took him quite by surprise, so much so that at first, he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. Puzzled, he silently regarded the sandwich in his magic for a moment before taking a few more bites, slowly warming up to it.
“I must admit,” he finally concluded once halfway through, “this is…more palatable…than I anticipated.”
“Told ya,” Ember quipped, but then gave Blueblood a warm grin and a wink. “Tastes better when you make it yourself, doesn’t it?”
Blueblood stared back at her, wondering if she was trying to make some kind of point. “Perhaps,” he finally replied noncommittedly.
That was apparently satisfactory for Ember, because she shrugged and finally hopped off the island counter. “Well, anyway,” she said, stretching her arms, “I think I’m ready to zonk. We’ve got summit junk to do tomorrow anyway. Night!” She then casually exited the kitchen.
Blueblood stared after her, perplexed. “I will never understand that creature,” he muttered before taking another bite of his sandwich.
Even though Ember had been given a room for her stay, which included a luxurious bed, she opted to fall asleep sprawled out on Blueblood’s living room couch instead. This suited Blueblood just fine though, as it put considerable distance between her and his own room, making it less likely that any of her bizarre sleeping habits might disturb him. Thanks to this, he had a comfortable night’s sleep, which was very welcomed given the stressful evening before. Though he did wake up half afraid her snoring (for he was certain a creature as crude as her snored) had either filled his mansion with smoke or, worse still, set something on fire.
He also expected her to sleep in, so he was surprised to find none of this had happened and Ember already up before him. Even more shocking, while on his way to the lavatory, he found her peacefully seated in a chaise longue set nearby in the corridor and reading a book.
Blueblood stared at the sight for a long moment. “You can read?” he abruptly blurted out, then inwardly cringing at his lack of tact.
But Ember just gave him an amused look. “Of course I can read,” she teasingly confirmed, “Even more shocking is the fact that I can write too. Ooooooh, so amazing, right?”
Blueblood rolled his eyes at her sass. “What are you reading then?” he asked, and moved closer to read the title printed on the spine. He blinked in surprise. “The Treatise on the Battle of Hollow Shades?” he read aloud before looking at Ember. “Where did you get this?”
“It was on the shelf in that room with all the other books,” Ember replied, waving a distracted paw in the general direction of the mansion library.
Blueblood felt a jolt of alarm at her reading one of his books, but seeing no visible harm to the book left with him with no real reason to protest except, of course, spite. Which he already knew wouldn’t work on the dragoness anyway, and he was more interested that Ember had shown any interest in the text at all. “So why are you reading it, if I may ask?”
“To past the time, partly,” Ember said, glancing around the book so to meet his eye. “I’ve actually been waiting for you to get up. You see—”
“That can’t be the only reason though,” Blueblood interrupted, convinced there was more to it than that.
Ember gave him a scowl for interrupting then apparently decided against finishing whatever she’d been saying so to answer. “If you must know then, I happen to like reading about battles.” She turned her attention back to the text. “I’m sure that sounds oh so morbid to you, but you can learn a lot by studying what happened in them. It’s comforting at least to know what the right things to do probably are should you ever find yourself in such a situation…if not see how to avoid even having the battle in the first place.”
Blueblood, stunned, blinked at her for a moment. “After all, those who do not learn their history are doomed to repeat it,” he murmured to himself. He then sheepishly averted his own gaze. “I must confess…I read texts such as that one for much the same reasons.”
Ember raised her eyebrows at that. “Well, how about that then,” she remarked with a grin, “Looks like we have something in common after all.”
“I suppose so.” Blueblood wasn’t sure how he felt about it though. So he shook his head and continued for the nearby restroom. “Well, at any rate, I have other business to attend to.”
Ember however sat up abruptly as he neared the bathroom. “Uh, might want to hold off on that for a second,” she warned with a half-concealed wince.
“Why?” Blueblood asked, glancing back at her as he pushed open the bathroom door. “What could possibly be the problem with—oh sweet Celestia!” His nostrils were suddenly bombarded with an indescribably atrocious scent so powerful it felt like it was burning him. Chocking on the noxious fumes, he doubled over, gagging and gasping while crawling back to cleaner air.
Ember, meanwhile, set aside her book so to give him an annoyed look. “Oh c’mon, it’s not that bad!” she grumbled.
Suddenly understanding, Blueblood shot her a look of his own. “What did you DO?” he demanded.
“So I had a lot to eat yesterday!” Ember protested in her defense. “And that pony food—it tastes great, but it just goes right through me, so…you know…it was a big one.”
Blueblood just stared at her, completely aghast.
For once, Ember shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. “Look, the worst of it’ll be over if we can just clean up the mess,” she reasoned.
“Clean up the…?” Blueblood suddenly had a very horrifying thought. “You…did actually use the toilet, correct?”
“Of course I used the toilet!” Ember snapped, offended. “What do you think I am, some kind of barbarian?!” Somehow, Blueblood managed to refrain from answering that. “Heck, I’d love to have a toilet like that in my cave back home! It’d sure beat going in a dirt hole all the time!” She bit her lip though, thinking about that. “Though it’d probably have to be different from the kind you’ve got.”
Blueblood’s horrifying thoughts returned again. “Why, what’s wrong with it?”
“Well, first of all, it doesn’t exactly leave any place for my tail to be,” Ember began, holding up her long and muscular tail. “But more importantly, when you flush it, it’s supposed to go fwoosh and not gurgle-gurgle, right?”
Blueblood stared at her for a moment longer before burying his face into his hooves with a pitiful moan. Worst still, with his staff not here, this meant that if Blueblood wanted it fixed anytime soon, he’d have to do it himself. Fortunately, though he abhorred ever using it, he did know a spell that was very effective for these sort of…obstructions. Sighing wearily, he straightened and composed himself. “Very well then, let’s get this over with,” he muttered to himself before taking a deep breath and lighting his horn, moving back towards the bathroom.
But now Ember was actually vaulting herself out of the chaise longue in a panic. “Wait, don’t use magic--!”
Too late. There was a sudden blast that shook the whole mansion, powerful enough to hurl Blueblood, singed and blackened with soot, skidding back out of the exploded bathroom and coming to a stop at Ember’s feet.
The dragoness managed a weak chuckle. “Yeah, it was kind of a “don’t light a match” sort of situation in there too,” she admitted, picking up the shell-shocked prince and setting him unsteadily back onto his hooves.
“I hate you so much,” Blueblood managed to wheeze back.
“Duly noted.” Ember patted him on his withers. “Anyway, now that’s sorted, better get yourself cleaned up. We’ve both got meetings to attend to in just a couple of hours.”
As Ember then walked away from the singed stallion and his now-smoldering bathroom, Blueblood dearly wished looks could kill in that moment.
On the upside, the explosion had managed to sort out the issue with the toilet, but it also completely destroyed the rest of the room containing it. But it wasn’t the only bathroom in the mansion, so Blueblood settled for the somewhat smaller staff bathroom to shower and clean up in. Luckily, he himself was unscathed except for the edges of his mane getting singed. This was fixed with some minor trimming, but doing so annoyed Blueblood nonetheless. Still, once at the castle for the day’s summit meetings, several commented that they liked the trim, so it could’ve been worse.
The day progressed mundanely for a while after that. Most of the meetings were for the visiting dignitaries to parley with Princess Twilight, so Blueblood’s role in them was fairly minimal. He didn’t see much of Ember either, (who had left the mansion for the castle before him), allowing Blueblood to briefly enjoy life dragon-free. When he did see her—like at the large group meeting held towards the end of the session—it was while seated at a large round table with the other dignitaries, barely addressing each other outside of the bureaucratic matters being discussed.
Which he could tell bored the dragoness anyway, spending most of her time fiddling with whatever she could lay claw on than pay close attention to the meetings. Though this was still more than Blueblood suspected, as proven when he decided to call her out by bringing the topic back onto her, only for her to readily respond without much issue. Thus for most of the day the only real highlight was when Ember suddenly belched a jet of magical flames in the middle of the meeting, apparently an uncouth way of getting messages as a crude scroll materialized from within it. It apparently contained some update about a troublesome dragon having been seen leaving the Dragon Lands, but as Ember assured everyone that it was “her business” and to not worry about it, neither did Blueblood.
In any case, things started looking up when they began discussing a sizeable shipment of lapis lazuli. Equestria, having a surplus, was offering to trade it with anyone interested. Ember showed interest as the mineral was rare in the Dragon Lands and would be a welcomed addition to their food supplies. But Baroness Calamansi wanted it for Mustangia so to use its magical properties in the enchanting of artifacts, since they lacked a population of unicorns to do this via traditional spellcasting.
So Blueblood, seeing a chance to win Calamansi’s favor, ignored Ember’s dirty looks and took the baroness’s side. He felt he made an excellent case for it too. But Twilight, ever the peacekeeper, opted to split the shipment in half so both sides could have an equal share. This was accepted reluctantly, neither Calamansi nor Ember especially pleased by it.
But Blueblood’s efforts paid off, as he was approached by Calamansi once they’d adjourned for the day. “I thank you for your support on the lapis lazuli affair, Prince Blueblood,” she remarked calmly.
“My pleasure,” Blueblood stated. “I agree that Mustangia has the greater need for it than the dragons.”
“They would simply devour it anyway, effectively wasting it,” Calamansi agreed. She snorted. “Such uncouth creatures, those dragons—especially that Ember character.”
Oh, you have no idea, Blueblood thought to himself. “The dragon lord is particularly…headstrong, leaving it difficult to be…diplomatic…with her at times. I assume that is why Princess Twilight attempted to appease her too.”
“You mean give in,” Calamansi grumbled, “Which I fear is doing no favors for anyone. Better to draw the line early with those dragons than concede to their every demand just because they protested enough. Really, that shipment should be going to Mustangia in its entirety and we all know it, but the dragons, of course, are being greedy.”
Blueblood blinked at her tone, but nonetheless pressed on. “I prefer to think we could still reach a reasonable agreement to keep the peace on all sides,” he stated tactfully. “But that being said, perhaps if we coordinate our efforts, we might get Mustangia a bit more of that shipment yet.”
Calamansi gave him an intrigued look. “Perhaps we could,” she agreed. “What do you propose, then?”
“A united strike, baroness,” Blueblood suggested. “If you’re willing, we can discuss tactics in more depth at my mansion. I am a bit…short-staffed…at the moment, but that shouldn’t be a problem for this.”
“Very well,” Calamansi agreed. “I shall arrive at five this evening, unless you have any objections.”
“None to speak of, baroness!” Blueblood declared, beaming. He gave her a polite bow. “I will meet you then!”
They then parted ways, and despite the new hippogriff ambassador stopping him to ask if he had the time to chat (which he apologetically admitted that he did not), he swiftly left so to return to his mansion and begin making good on his promise. And with a bit of luck, he thought, feeling smug, perhaps become your personal white knight.
But of course, Blueblood wasn’t ignorant of the one problem with his plan—Ember being in his mansion too was not ideal considering him supporting the side which saw the dragoness as the opposition. Nevertheless, Blueblood decided to simply tell Ember he would be discussing confidential business with another at the mansion later and ask for the privacy needed for it. If he simply neglected to say who he was meeting with, surely Ember would have no cause to refuse.
However, when he returned to find her on his back patio, sharpshooting his vases with her firebreath, he feared he might be underestimating things a tad.
“What are you doing now?” Blueblood asked in an annoyed tone—that this was the most emotion he could muster made him wonder if he was actually adjusting to these incidents.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Ember replied, picking up a vase and hurling it into the air before expertly hitting it with a purple-colored fireball, exploding it into shards that then rained back down onto the mansion lawn. “Target practice. Duh.”
“It looks more like you are destroying my property,” Blueblood stated coldly, “Again.”
“Well, you said they’re all cheap fakes anyway,” Ember justified while continuing with her wanton destruction.
“They still cost money to replace!” Blueblood retorted before sighing. He was about to proceed with explaining his meeting to her, but watching her a moment longer, he had another thought that might explain Ember’s actions. “Are you…upset about the lapis lazuli matter?”
“What, that?” Ember twisted around with a surprised look before warmly waving it off. “Naaaah. I mean, I won’t lie, I’m disappointed I gotta share that shipment, but…you were right to take the side you did. Honestly, I should just be happy to be getting anything at all.”
She went back to destroying vases. Blueblood felt somewhat guilty now for effectively plotting behind her back to take even that from her, and for a second he wasn’t sure how to respond. “Was that a compliment just then?” he finally asked instead.
Smirking, Ember set down the vase she was about to hurl. “Well, if it helps you feel better—you’re still a prissy wimp of a pony.”
She snickered when Blueblood scowled at her. “I am not a prissy wimp.”
Ember responded by kicking a clump of grass in his direction. Blueblood involuntarily yelped and jumped back. “See what I mean? Prissy wimp who’s scared of grass.”
“Grass stains,” Blueblood retorted, before striking a dignified pose. “And someone of my stature must stay looking clean at all times.”
Ember blew a raspberry at that. “What kind of boring life is that, though? If you really want to make the most of it, Bluebutt, you gotta take chances, get messy—that’s part of living life!”
Blueblood went silent for a moment, long enough for Ember to resume her target practice. He wanted to deny that, but found doing so left him painted in an unflattering image. “I can make the most of life,” he murmured uncertainly.
Ember stopped to give him a sly smirk. “So, if I were to ask you to take part in any activity of my choosing…you’d do it?”
Blueblood saw what her intentions were and knew he was only setting himself up by agreeing…but his pride wouldn’t allow her to win the argument. “…yes?” he replied slowly.
When Ember’s smirk turned wickeder, he knew he should’ve swallowed his pride instead.
As it happened, Blueblood’s gardener had been working on some landscaping, but because some items needed were on backorder, the spot in question was still a patch of loose, clay-like, soil. And of course Ember thought it the perfect spot to have an impromptu one-on-one game of volleyball. She had strolled right into this muddy patch like it was nothing and began setting up a volleyball net right in the middle of it. Blueblood, meanwhile, stood warily at the patch’s edge, stripped of his usual garments so to not sully them but still lacking the nerve to actually continue forward.
“Is this really necessary?” he whined to Ember.
“You agreed to it, remember?” Ember reminded unrepentant. She gave the net a final tug. “Now get over here before I come and throw you over.”
Knowing she was serious, Blueblood gingerly reached out with one hoof and lowered it into the mud. It squished unpleasantly, but he willed himself forward regardless. “Where did you even get the net anyway?” he asked, as he awkwardly tip-toed over, trying to minimize contact with the mud as much as possible.
“It’s yours—found it in a closet inside,” Ember replied, motioning distractedly at the mansion behind them.
“…I own a volleyball net?”
“Apparently so!” Ember took up position on her side of the net. “So! You know how to play, right?”
“I am familiar with the basic rules, yes,” Blueblood assured, reluctantly assuming position on his own side. “I hardly think this will be a fair game though, myself against you.”
“Yeah, I’m totally whipping your butt,” Ember agreed with a cocky smirk, winding up for the serve, “But now’s your chance to prove me wrong, prince.”
She struck the ball, sending it arcing over the net towards him. Still trying to limit his movements, Blueblood managed to haphazardly knock it back only for Ember to immediately spike it, causing the ball to strike Blueblood in the head and knock him into the mud with a splat. He whined pitifully at how muddy this now left him.
Ember was expectedly indifferent. “Point for me!” she said as she retrieved the ball and readied to serve again. “Not off to a good start here, Bluebutt.”
Groaning, Blueblood forced himself upright and prepare to receive Ember’s serve. It went precisely as the first time though, leaving Blueblood knocked over and Ember cheering for another point won.
“Seriously, this will be a pretty short game unless you start showing some effort,” Ember taunted, gearing up to do it again.
Blueblood glared at her as he picked himself up, his anger starting to boil over. So this time, when Ember served the ball, he immediately spiked it back with all the force he could muster. Surprised, Ember missed, allowing him to score.
She was taken aback for a second before smirking. “All right, now we’re talking,” she said, kicking the ball under the net for Blueblood to serve.
The game continued, their scores staying fairly neck and neck as they got more and more aggressive trying to win. Both were quickly and heavily splattered in mud, but for once in his life, Blueblood ignored it. After all the stress Ember had put him through, he saw this as his chance to finally even the score. And when it came to the final tiebreaker serve to determine the winner, Blueblood was confident he would succeed. His only lament was that there would be no one to see the victory except himself, Ember, and Baroness Calamansi, so…
…eep.
Blueblood did a double take to make sure he hadn’t imagined it, but sure enough, the baroness was standing on his back patio, watching with an appalled look. And of course, because Blueblood was distracted, he missed the ball, knocking him into the mud again.
“Yeeesssss!” Ember crowed loudly before doing a victory dance. “I win! A-boo-yeah, a-boo-yeah, a-boo—” she abruptly noticed Calamansi too and deflated. “…Oh. You.”
“Baroness Calamansi!” Blueblood panicked, hurrying towards her. When the baroness quickly backed away from him, he remembered how muddy he was and winced. “I’m sorry, you’ve caught me unprepared, I wasn’t expecting you until…” but he trailed off as he noticed the sun already quite low in the sky and realizing the game had taken much longer than he thought. “Why are you out here, anyway?” he asked instead.
“I recalled you were short-staffed, so when no one answered your door, I assumed I was free to enter myself and was looking for you,” Calamansi explained, but looked aghast at the two muddy creatures. “But I certainly wasn’t expecting to be greeted with this horrid sight!”
“This…this is just a misunderstanding, baroness!” Blueblood said, desperately trying to recover. “I can explain! You see…”
“What I see, Prince Blueblood,” Calamansi interrupted sternly, “is you playing in filth with this dragon, the same creature you had just earlier this afternoon agreed to assist me in putting her in her place by securing the entirety of the lapis shipment from her!”
“You what?!” Ember declared from behind Blueblood, who realized he’d have to face her fury too as she stomped over. “You were plotting to backstab me?” Then, unexpectedly, she broke into a proud grin. “Whoa, I’m seriously impressed! I didn’t think you actually had it in you!” She thumped him approvingly on the back.
“In any case,” Calamansi pressed on, “it is clear you are simply playing both sides for your own benefit, but as I will NOT be made a fool of, I bid you good day, sir!”
“Baroness Calamansi, no,” Blueblood interjected as she turned to leave, “it’s not like—”
“I said good day, Prince Blueblood!” Calamansi repeated with finality, and then she was gone.
Stunned, Blueblood remained motionless for a long moment.
“Well!” Ember declared with chuckle, “Good riddance to her, am I right?”
But for once, the absolutely livid glare Blueblood shot back at her not only silenced Ember but also got her wondering if maybe she should be planning escape routes…
The chase was short lived, Ember ultimately ending up on the roof of the mansion’s gardening shed, out of immediate reach, while Blueblood kept her pinned from the ground. He attempted to drag her down with his magic, but Ember retaliated by breathing fire at him. So, in a stalemate, the shouting began instead.
“Get down from there already!”
“Not by the scales of my taily-tail-tail!”
“I mean it, dragon, or I’ll find a way to drag you down!”
“Nope! You can’t touch this! Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!”
“Oh for—put your tail down, that’s indecent!”
“Oh c’mon! You know you love it!”
“I DO NOT!”
“Why is this even a big deal anyway?” Ember finally argued. “Who cares what Calamari thinks?”
“Calamansi!” Blueblood corrected irately, “And…” he averted his gaze, admitting softly, “…I wanted to be her white knight.”
“White knight? Wait a minute, wait a minute,” Ember leaned over so to peer down at him. “You’re not suggesting…ohmigosh, you are! You’re hot for her!” She started to laugh. “Oh, you poor naïve fool!”
Blueblood scowled. “I’m sure you think I never had a chance with her.”
“What? No, you can totally do better than her, Bluebutt!”
That wasn’t the response Blueblood expected. “…I beg your pardon?”
“Oh, c’mon, Bluebutt! Her love life has a reputation even I know about, which is saying something!”
Bluebutt frowned at her. “Yes, yes, I know she’s divorced, but…”
“Divorced plural.” Ember jumped down from the shed’s roof with a thump. “Tell me—how many schmucks have been Cauliflower’s husband before now?”
Blueblood hesitated. “…five,” he admitted reluctantly. “But I was hoping to be lucky number six.”
“Nuh-uh, after that many divorces, it’s clear the problem isn’t with them, it’s with her.” Ember folded her arms, staring in the direction Calamansi had left. “And with that attitude, I can see why. Honestly, you would’ve just ended up a schmuck yourself.”
“Well, we’ll never know now, will we?” Blueblood snapped before, the fight going out of him, he sank to the ground with a depressed sigh. “That was probably my one and only chance to try…and it’s been ruined.”
To her credit, Ember looked guilty and shifted around awkwardly for a moment. “Well…maybe I can help you find someone else,” she suggested suddenly.
Blueblood’s head snapped up at that, filled with both dread and bewilderment. “I am uncertain I want your help with something like this, dragon.”
“I mean,” Ember tried again, giving him an annoyed look, “maybe I can help you at least meet someone else. Whether or not you hit it off would be up to you, I guess.”
Blueblood still regarded her skeptically, but the fact she wanted to help seemed significant. “How are you proposing to do this, exactly?”
Ember rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Well, we could always try your luck at that tavern near the castle—The Heavenly Tankard? Heck, I think we might even see some of the other diplomats there too…”
“The Heavenly Tankard?” Blueblood repeated indignantly, wrinkling his snout. “Oh no, I am too high-standing of a pony to ever visit a low-brow place like that.”
“Dude, that’s where all of you upper-class types go to drink!”
“All lower upper-class, you mean,” Blueblood conceitedly corrected.
“Lower upper—!” Ember pinched the bridge of her snout, frustrated. “Look, you want my help or not?”
Blueblood debated for a moment. On one side, he appreciated the offer to help. On the other, it was Ember who was offering. But above all else, he supposed it was either this or mope around lamenting the loss of Calamansi, and even he disliked the look of that. So finally he sighed, relenting. “Fine, I agree, so long as you behave yourself.”
“Oh, no promises, Bluebutt,” Ember said as she proceeded to look him over. She had that mischievous look again. “But first we need to make you look the part…”
Blueblood initially assumed she meant cleaning the mud off himself, to which he had no objections, but no sooner had he finished that did Ember stuff him into a cheap-looking dark grey sports coat. He wasn’t even sure where she’d gotten it—he assumed it belonged to one of his servants because it felt a size too small for him, but Ember seemed to think that was a plus, though he wasn’t really interested in her reasons why. As for herself, she’d also cleaned up, but otherwise remained her usual undressed self. When he asked about that, she simply answered: “Hey, you rock it when you’ve got it.” Blueblood dared not inquire as to what she meant by that.
In any case, they arrived at the tavern at just past sunset. It was moderately busy, and indeed patronized by almost entirely by Blueblood’s fellow upper-class peers. A couple glanced their way, but most gazes were more directed at Ember than Blueblood. There were also a couple of summit diplomats, but none Blueblood knew better than in passing. In any case, the premises were clean and peaceful, showing no signs of the typical ruckuses Blueblood associated with taverns.
Still, he was nervous. “I remain uncertain about this,” he admitted under his breath.
“Hey, at least this isn’t the tavern that—what was her name? Apple Dash? The rainbow one—took me to sometime back.” Ember snickered to herself. “That had ended in a full-on bar fight.”
Blueblood winced. “That does not reassure me, dragon.”
“Oh relax, this place is too hoity-toity for something like that. The closest I expect you uppity ponies would get is…I dunno, an argument or a catfight or something…and I wouldn’t even bet bits on that much, so…yeah.”
She then set off for the bar for drinks. Blueblood hesitated briefly, but another glance around did make him think Ember probably had a point, and the fact that even she was so confident of it made it seem definite, or so his mind ultimately reasoned. So that concern settled, he followed Ember to the bar.
Because it often served visiting dignitaries, there was quite a selection of drinks being offered, from the expected alcoholic drinks, to common sodas, to even party potions that imbued drinkers with temporary magical effects when consumed. There were even a few Blueblood had never heard of, but nervous as he was, he opted to order a simple sparkling water. Ember, meanwhile, ordered a drink called a sulfur seltzer which smelled unpleasant to Blueblood but was apparently a common enough drink for dragons.
“Of course, if you want a real dragon’s drink, then you want a nice glass of hydrofluoric acid,” Ember commented idly as they sipped.
Blueblood nearly spat out his sparkling water. “I am fairly certain that is extremely poisonous to ponies.”
Ember turned alarmed. “Is it?” she asked, apparently unaware. “Slag, I’m glad you told me! I was thinking of giving Purple Smart a bottle as a gift!”
“Yes, let’s not risk potentially assassinating the princess,” Blueblood advised snidely, shaking his head.
It wasn’t until they’d nearly finished their drinks that Ember moved to the real reason they were here though. “So,” she began, knocking back the last of her seltzer, “anyone catching your eye?”
Blueblood, who hadn’t realized he was supposed to be surveying the other patrons, half-heartedly glanced around. “You really expect me to just spy a suitor in passing like this?” he asked with a snort.
“So…no, then?” Ember prompted. When Blueblood nodded, she surveyed the room herself. “How about that one?”
“No, I think not.”
“What about that one?”
“No.”
“That one, then?”
“Heavens, no!”
“Oh c’mon work with me here, Bluebutt!” She proceeded to point out a couple more candidates, but when Blueblood rejected all of them too, she frowned. “Picky much?” she quipped.
“Oh, I wouldn’t know what to say to them anyway,” Blueblood reasoned dismissively.
“If you need a good pick-up line, I know a few you could use. Ooh, how about this one? ‘I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?’”
Blueblood gaped at her for a second, appalled, before downing the last of his drink too. “This was a bad idea,” he concluded finally, losing his nerve.
“Hey, don’t bail on me now!” Ember protested. “Not when we’re already here!”
Blueblood sighed before spying the four pool tables standing to one side. “I think will play some billiards instead,” he said, rising. “You can stay here and keep doing…whatever it is you dragons do.”
Ember rolled her eyes but didn’t stop him. “Fine,” she grumbled, and signaled the bartender for another drink.
Meanwhile, Blueblood chose a table not already in use and began a one-player game. It proved to be just the distraction he needed, and he managed to get a number of plays into it before noticing he was being watched. He at first assumed it was Ember and ignored it, but then a passing glance revealed it was instead a pale-purple colored hippogriff. He recognized her as one of the visiting dignitaries.
“Oh!” she sheepishly chirped when she saw he’d noticed, “Don’t mind me, I’m just watching!”
Blueblood hesitated a second, then resumed playing. “Uh, very well then,” he remarked, telling himself there was nothing wrong with that.
There was a beat. “I’m Aquila, by the way,” the hippogriff continued. “I’m the new ambassador for Mount Aris.”
“Prince Blueblood,” he responded to be courteous.
Another beat passed as he continued playing with Aquila watching. “You’re very good at this,” she noted after a bit.
“Well, a Manehattan representative I’d worked briefly with was very fond of the game and insisted I learn,” Blueblood explained, unable to stop himself from taking pride in the praise. “Turned out I’m naturally talented—or so he’d always claimed.”
“Well, you’re better than I would be,” Aquila said. “I’ve never played.”
Blueblood paused for a moment, debating. “I…suppose I could teach you the basics…if you like,” he said, more to be gentlemanly than anything else.
Unsurprisingly, Aquila took him up on the offer. She proved to be an attentive listener, and despite her first few attempts being clumsy, Blueblood found it endearing enough to keep encouraging her. It was clear Blueblood would always be the better player though, so since she seemed to enjoy it, Blueblood eventually started showing off with some trick shots while they engaged in small talk. They didn’t really talk about much in particular—initially politics before moving to other topics at random—but they weren’t especially bothered by that. Blueblood, for one, enjoyed the friendly conversation, especially whenever they came upon a topic they were both passionate about.
“Look, I’m just saying,” Aquila began as they hit upon one such topic, “chivalry is seriously bias, always focusing on one gender over the other.”
“Yes, I agree completely!” Blueblood declared empathically, who had long felt this way. “Why can’t the stallion receive some of the same courtesies themselves, especially when you’re someone of high standing?”
“Well, not only that, but the gal is always treated like some delicate flower that’s just going to crumple at the slightest nudge!” Aquila went on, finishing off a drink of her own. “I’m perfectly capable of stepping around puddles and opening doors myself, thank you! I don’t always need some guy doing it for me, even if they are doing it just to be…you know…nice and all. I mean, I appreciate it and all, but…there’s still a point when you’re overdoing it, you know? I’d rather I just get…you know…treated like normal.”
Blueblood considered that for a second, pausing in the trick shot he was about to play. He was far from a normal pony himself, being a prince, and didn’t like the idea of that getting ignored…but at the same time, she did have a point about gratuitous special treatment. “I suppose having to so constantly put up with all of the…sycophancy…just to win favor grows tiresome when you know it is not genuine.”
“Yeah, exactly!” Aquila agreed, jabbing a talon at him and grinned. “So I’m glad you haven’t been like that.”
Blueblood paused again at that, having not even realized he was doing so. “…huh,” was all he could reply on the matter.
“Anyway,” Aquila said, setting her glass down, “Excuse me for a moment while I run to the little griff’s room.”
She then departed for the nearby restroom while Blueblood continued playing in her absence. It was while she was gone that Ember made her reappearance. “Miss me?” she asked as she strolled up, nursing another drink.
“Not particularly,” Blueblood replied as he lined up a new shot. “But as I suspect you will tell me anyway, I’ll humor you—where have you been?”
“Ah, I got into a little drinking contest with those guys over there,” Ember replied, idly waving a paw at three stallions seated in a booth across the tavern. She must’ve won easily, as all three of them looked about ready to pass out while Ember still didn’t even seem tipsy. “But enough about me,” She motioned her head in the direction Aquila had gone, “Changed your mind, did you?” she slyly asked, leaning on the pool table.
Blueblood snorted. “It is not really any of your business, but I think you may be reading a bit much into it.”
“Well, I dunno, it certainly looked like it to me, so clearly the nudge helped.”
Blueblood suddenly put two with two. “You sent her my way after I left the bar, didn’t you?”
“Ooh, he’s still using that brain of his!” Ember teased, sipping her drink. “So how about it? She a keeper?”
Blueblood scowled but shirked answering. “She is not a pawn for your amusement, dragon,” he groused. “Do you even know her name?”
“Aquila,” Ember answered without missing a beat.
Blueblood stared at her. “So you can correctly recall the hippogriff’s name without problem, but none of the pony names you encounter?”
“Don’t change the subject—are you interested in her or not?”
Blueblood hesitated, glancing in the direction Aquila had left too. “But we are not even the same species!”
“The back half of her is though. And isn’t that the half that matters most in the end?” Ember gave him a sly nudge.
Blueblood gave her a sour look but returned to his game. “Honestly, I’m uncertain it’d be wise to even try, assuming I even held such an interest.”
“Pity, ‘cuz she certainly seems interested in you. She was looking your way every time she thought you weren’t looking until I sent her your way.”
Blueblood’s cue suddenly flew off target. “…What?”
“Oh yeah! I think she was eyeing you during the meetings earlier today too. Didn’t she try and talk to you after they ended?”
Blueblood first thought Ember was exaggerating, but saw she was being quite serious. And now that he thought about it, he realized Aquila had tried to speak to him after the meetings, and again the day before that at the opening ceremonies. Suddenly feeling butterflies in his stomach, he braced the side of the pool table, trying to shake it off.
Ember took notice. “I’m thinking it’s not just her, too,” she added, smirk returning as she finished her drink.
Blueblood harrumphed and tried to brush it off. “I will have you know that we’ve simply been having a friendly chat and nothing else,” he stressed in denial.
“Yeah, but that’s how it always starts, isn’t it?” Ember said, winking. When he sent her another scowl though, she shrugged. “Look, I’m just trying to help, and anyway, why look a gift horse in the mouth?”
Blueblood turned incredulous. “Why in the world is that a saying for you?”
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to—my point is that it seems like fate might be going your way here.” She shrugged. “And didn’t I say I’d help you at least meet someone?”
Blueblood supposed she had a point there. “You also said you’d leave the rest up to me after that,” he reminded pointedly.
So Ember turned to go. “Fine, I can take a hint. My job here is done anyway, so Ember is out! Peace!”
Ember went back to the mansion after that, but Blueblood didn’t return himself until quite sometime later. When he finally did, well into the night, he found Ember sitting in his living room and idly fiddling with a chess set he kept set out as a decorative centerpiece. She immediately stopped when he stepped into the room, giving him a shrewd look. “So you’re back late,” she noted.
Blueblood harrumphed at that. “What hour I choose to return to my own mansion at is none of your concern,” he said flatly.
“Uh-huh,” Ember said, smirking now. “Well, at least you came back here at all and aren’t spending the night somewhere else.”
Blueblood scowled. “I’ll have you know I was a perfect gentlestallion the whole night, with nothing like that transpiring or even being proposed.”
“You still spent it all with Aquila though, didn’t you?” When Blueblood shirked her gaze, Ember’s smirk grew. “Yup, knew it.”
“We simply talked, as we were doing when you left,” Blueblood insisted. “And then when it grew late, I walked her back…to her…suite at the castle.” His confident tone dried up the longer he spoke, realizing how it sounded. He cleared his throat. “Again, nothing scandalous happened. We arrived at her suite, I commented how I looked forward to doing business with her in the future, she agreed, and…that was it.”
“Castle’s just up the street from that tavern though,” Ember pointed out knowingly. “So either you still stayed quite a while at her suite, or…”
“I…may have given her a quick tour of the royal gardens on the way,” Blueblood explained. “I have done the same with many visiting dignitaries though.”
But Ember wasn’t fooled. “You like her, don’t you?”
Blueblood scowled, but after mumbling incoherently for a second, he caved. “Fine, I found her to be an…amusing friend. For a hippogriff.”
“Heh, just wait until you see the seapony form.” When Blueblood again averted his gaze though, Ember bolted upright, amused. “Oh rocks, you already have, haven’t you?”
“There was a pond with ducks and we stopped to feed them!” Blueblood quickly explained. “And then she…decided to join the ducks for a bit.” Ember wolf-whistled, earning her another scowl from Blueblood. “Again, do not read too much into this—we are simply friends at best.”
“For now.”
“Regardless,” Blueblood stressed before breathing a weary sigh, tone shifting completely. “Dragon, despite all expectations, you were somehow…helpful…tonight. And…despite all your faults, you…succeeded…in improving my evening more than expected, so…thank you.”
Ember snickered, but nodded. “Painful as it was to watch you admit that…you’re welcome,” she said.
“That all being said, I want it clear that you are still a nuisance,” Blueblood continued, to which Ember, making an amused snort, rolled her eyes. “Do not give me that, this wouldn’t have been a problem at all had it not been for you. Honestly, the grievances you commit on a regular basis make you seem more unpleasant than a…than a…”
Ember suddenly stiffened, eyes locking onto something outside the window behind him. “Duck.”
“Well, I was going to say a rat or something, but…”
“No, DUCK!” She suddenly tackled him, pushing him onto the floor in time for something large and angry to come smashing through the front window, zip violently above them, and then crater into the far wall.
Understandably alarmed, Blueblood wiggled out from under Ember and spun around to investigate the destruction in time for a male brown-colored dragon, bigger and beefier than Ember but not nearly as trim, to burst out of the debris with a roar. All business now, Ember quickly and seriously put herself between the dragon and Blueblood so to shield him.
“Brimspark!” she growled as she stared down the intruder, “you just don’t learn, do you?”
Brimspark ignored her as he advanced dangerously on them. “Dragon Lord Ember, I challenge you for your title as dragon lord!” he declared loudly.
It was about then that Blueblood remembered Twilight mentioning Ember dealing with usurpers as of late, but that thought was promptly forgotten when Brimspark spewed a great ball of fire at them. Ember had just enough time to grab Blueblood and roughly hurl him out of harm’s way before vanishing behind the orange flames just long enough for him to fear she’d been immolated. But as a dragon, Ember was of course unharmed and soon pouncing on Brimspark with a cry, the two violently brawling within the now burning living room, both spouting language unfit for repeating.
Horrified, Blueblood watched the fight continue for a moment, before coming to his senses abruptly and bolted, hurrying down the hall and around a corner where a concealed lever was hidden. Swiftly pulling it caused alarm bells to ring throughout the mansion, as well as at the royal guard station towards the castle, alerting that help was needed. Blueblood then debated what to do next when Brimspark smashed through a nearby wall and rolled onto the floor. He quickly picked himself up and turned to face Ember still somewhere on the other side of the hole, completely oblivious to Blueblood. So without much thinking, Blueblood grabbed a heavy metal candelabrum with his magic and hurled it as hard as he could at the attacker. It just clanked ineffectively against him though, at most causing the dragon to flinch before whirling angrily on Blueblood and charging the terrified unicorn.
Before he could even get close though, Ember emerged from nowhere and leapt onto Brimspark’s back. “HEY, NO!” she bellowed, wrapping her arms around his throat, “NO HURTING MY PONY FRIENDS!” Brimspark, while trying to get ahold of her, still managed to release another stream of fire which only narrowly missed Blueblood. “BLUEBLOOD, GET OUT OF HERE!” Ember then shouted before, with surprising strength, lifting Brimspark over her head and throwing him through another wall then promptly following so to continue her smackdown.
With increasingly more and more of his mansion on fire, Blueblood initially obeyed, racing for the mansion’s backdoor, but as he heard the fight continuing behind him, he slowed, hesitated, then with a reluctant but decisive groan, about faced and raced back towards the fight. By now it had moved into his kitchen, getting torn up in their fight (as well as adding to the fires), which made it easy for Blueblood to secure a new makeshift weapon from the debris—this time a small but dense cast iron cauldron. At about the same time Brimspark managed to grab Ember by the throat and pin her to a wall, pulling back a fist intended to deal the final blow.
But then Blueblood swung the cauldron as hard as he could at Brimspark’s head, the dragon dropping immediately. Regardless, Blueblood hit him a couple more times for good measure before Ember stopped him.
“You got him!” she told him before jumping at the sound of something heavy falling within the burning mansion. “Now I think we should get out of here!”
“I think that would be wise, yes!” Blueblood agreed, coughing on the smoky air and eyeing the flames now surrounding them.
Ember responded by grabbing the limp Brimspark by the tail and hurling him through the kitchen window, making an opening. She then grabbed Blueblood in her claws and, using her own fireproof body to shield him, hurried outside. There, ponies were already gathering in the street to stare in alarm at the mansion now clearly aflame and at the creatures emerging from within. At roughly the same time, a group of royal guards arrived at the scene. Once Ember set Blueblood down again, they hurried towards him. “Prince Blueblood, are you okay?” one of them, the apparent leader, asked urgently.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Blueblood said, waving them off. “Someone notify the fire ponies!”
“They’re already on their way,” the guard informed before redirecting his attention towards keeping the crowd back at a safe distance.
With nothing else to do but wait for the moment, Blueblood turned to look back at his mansion, seeing flames clearly shining through several windows, not counting the new openings that had been made in the fight. He couldn’t help but groan a little at how bad it all looked.
Ember also looked back at the mansion before kicking Brimspark’s unconscious body. “Sorry, Bluebutt, he’s made a real mess of your house,” she apologized, sounding dismayed that she let it happen.
Blueblood kept looking dejectedly at the burning mansion, but he decided he was, for the moment, more thankful to be alive. “Well…it can all still be replaced, I suppose,” he murmured sadly, trying to find positives.
Ember nodded, “Right, because you only have fakes in there, at least except for…” she suddenly stiffened, and before Blueblood could react, she was racing back into the burning mansion, smashing her way through the front door.
Confused, Blueblood could only look on as the fire ponies arrived. “Prince Blueblood!” one of them declared as they rushed to fight the blaze, “Is everyone out of the building?”
“Everyone except one!” Blueblood responded, biting his lip and worrying what Ember was doing, “But I’m not sure…” He was interrupted when Ember burst out of an upper-story window and landed before them, carrying something. “No, that’s everyone now!” he corrected, leaving the fire ponies to their work and moving to confront the panting dragoness. “Now, what the devil were you doing, racing back into—” He was immediately silenced when Ember held up a familiar portrait. Shocked, Blueblood accepted it into his hooves. “The portrait of my great-great-great…” he shook his head, “…my distant relative. You’ve saved it.”
Ember shrugged awkwardly. “You said it was important to you,” she reasoned sheepishly. “Though I kinda had to break its glass case to get it, and I scuffed up the frame a little, so…”
She trailed off when Blueblood reverently set the portrait aside and hugged her about the middle—clearly, the excitement had relieved him of all his senses. “Thank you, Ember,” he murmured. Yes, he probably ought to see a medic at this point.
And he reasoned Ember probably ought to as well when she gently returned the hug and mumbled back, “You’re welcome.” They were quiet for a moment, watching the fire ponies quickly extinguish the fire—it seemed likely the mansion would survive. “It’s been a heck of a weekend, right?” Ember then quipped.
Blueblood actually laughed to that—perhaps the smoke had left him light-headed? “That is one way of putting it.”
They were quiet for a moment. “Might want to stop hugging me now,” Ember then remarked.
“Why is that?”
“Your hippogriff girl is coming.”
“Aquila?” Blueblood whipped around in time to see said hippogriff running towards them. “What are you doing here?”
“I saw the flames from the castle and someone said it was your mansion!” Aquila said as she hurriedly looked Blueblood over. “Oh my goodness, what happened? Are you hurt?”
“No, no, I think…I think I am okay, and everything is under control now,” Blueblood responded, which was reassurance enough for Aquila, embracing him in a hug much tighter than what he’d been giving Ember.
Speaking of, he saw Ember standing to one side, watching the scene unfold with her usual sly amusement. “Just friends indeed,” she remarked aloud in a knowing tone.
Fortunately, Twilight Sparkle’s sudden arrival curtailed anymore of her sass. “EMBER!” she bellowed angrily as she flapped in for a landing, “I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO NOT BURN HIS MANSION DOWN!”
“Hey, no, not my fault, not my fault!” Ember quickly argued back before grabbing Brimspark and dragging him towards the alicorn so to explain.
Blueblood watched her go while Aquila, releasing Blueblood from her hug, noticed the portrait he’d set aside. “Ooh, what’s this?” she asked, picking it up to examine. “Is this a relative of yours? He looks kinda like you!”
“Yes, a distant relative,” Blueblood confirmed distractedly. “The portrait was rescued from the fire earlier.”
“Who did that? One of the fire ponies?”
“No.” Blueblood glanced over to where Ember and Twilight were currently arguing, thinking back on all of the troubles—and the upsides—his weekend with the dragon lord had brought him. “A friend did.”
In the end, the fires were extinguished soon enough to save most of the mansion, leaving whole swaths of it untouched by the fire, but the damage was still considerable. Once she had been filled in, Twilight swiftly promised Blueblood to help fund the needed repairs, but for now, Blueblood simply sat there outside the charred but intact mansion, looking on. Aquila stayed at his side all throughout one wing wrapped comfortingly around him. Eventually Ember joined them too, seating herself on the ground on Blueblood’s other side.
“What of Brimspark?” Blueblood asked when he noticed she wasn’t dragging him around anymore.
“Since he attacked on Equestrian soil, Twilight offered to press charges herself and take him into custody,” Ember explained and shrugged. “I agreed—it’ll get the lump out of my spines finally.”
Blueblood hummed to himself for a second, reviewing the tumultuous night in his head.
“So what happens now?” Aquila asked.
“Well, there is not much that can be done to fix things tonight, so now I suppose we go to bed and worry more about all of…” Blueblood motioned to his damaged mansion with one half-hearted hoof, “…this in the morning.”
Ember scratched at her spines. “Uh-huh, and just where are you going to be sleeping?”
“Well, my bedroom was spared from the blaze…though it now smells strongly of smoke.” Blueblood shook his head. “I’m sure some kind of arrangement can be made for me, though. Perhaps Princess Twilight is already working on that.”
But then Aquila suddenly grabbed Blueblood by the foreleg. “Ooh! Ooh! You can come stay with me at my suite at the castle! I wouldn’t mind the company at all!” She missed Blueblood’s face blushing profusely at that, instead leaning around him to look at the snickering Ember. “You can join us too, Dragon Lord Ember!”
Ember let out a snorting laugh at that, but it also simultaneously jumped to a much higher pitch in concealed surprise. “Wait, what?” she replied as if she’d heard wrong. Blueblood, through his own embarrassment, couldn’t help but smirk at her getting caught off guard like that for a change.
“Yeah!” Aquila went on, oblivious to their reactions. “It’ll be like a…a…a big slumber party! With sleeping bags, and scary stories, and Truth or Dare, and pillow fights, and s’mores, and all of that!” She squeed and clapped her talons together excitedly. “Oh, it’ll be so much fun!”
Despite the other two relaxing a little upon realizing Aquila’s intentions were entirely innocent, Ember seemed nonetheless uneager. “Uh, look, as nice as that sounds,” she attempted to explain, rubbing the back of her head, “I uh…I wouldn’t want to…”
“She’d love to,” Blueblood decisively responded for her, still smirking.
“Yay!” Aquila cheered while Ember stared at Blueblood like he had grown a second head. The hippogriff then jumped to her feet, eager to get started. “Well then, let’s not wait around here and let’s go!”
She hurried off. Picking up his portrait with his magic, Blueblood moved to follow, but Ember quickly caught up with him, holding a paw in front of him so to make him hang back a moment.
“This is your idea of revenge, isn’t it?” she guessed.
“Ooh, she really does have a brain,” Blueblood replied.
That earned him an elbow to the ribs, but Blueblood’s smirk nonetheless refused to let up.
The slumber party, as they ultimately decided to think of it, proved to be successful and went exactly as Aquila described it—just a get-together among friends. Even Ember ended up enjoying herself upon discovering that her firebreath could make some mean s’mores in controlled bursts. They each also spent the night in separate sleeping bags generously provided by the castle staff, sleeping an appropriate amount of distance from each other. Blueblood also learned that despite his past expectations, it turned out Ember did not in fact snore…but she did mumble in her sleep.
The following day proved to be quite busy for Blueblood, continuously bouncing back and forth from ensuring the needed repairs to his mansion were well underway as well as participating in the final few meetings for the summit. Both went fairly routinely and without much event…though when a final discussion on the shipment of lapis lazuli was held, Baroness Calamansi omitted Blueblood almost entirely from it, clearly still not pleased him. Blueblood let her, and in turn did nothing to support her argument. Ultimately, Calamansi was unable to secure any arrangements that favored her on the matter more than what had already been decided. Blueblood was certain this meant he would be left forever on bad terms with the baroness.
He was surprised at how much he found himself unbothered by that.
In any case, because of all of this, he saw relatively little of Ember, busy with her own activities. But once the summit had officially ended, he joined her and Aquila outside the castle so to see them both off as they prepped to go back to their respective homelands.
“But Princess Twilight and I both made arrangements about a permanent embassy for Mount Aris being built in Canterlot, so you’ll probably be seeing plenty more of me here soon!” Aquila assured them all.
“Oh, I’m sure Bluebutt isn’t going to complain to that,” Ember said with a knowing smirk.
Blueblood shot her a look but otherwise ignored the jab. “I heard you will not be taking Brimspark back to the Dragon Lands,” he commented so to change the subject.
“Yeah, Purple Smart and I agreed to have him serve out his punishment here in Equestria,” Ember replied.
“What is his punishment?” Aquila asked.
“A whole lot of community service.”
Blueblood furrowed his brow. “That’s all?”
“Trust me, if there’s one thing a dragon hates doing, it’s having to be forced to help others against their will,” Ember assured, giving them both a wink. “Speaking of, how long are you going to be mansion-less, Bluebutt?”
“They are currently estimating it’ll be a better part of a month before all of the repairs are complete,” Blueblood explained. “But I should be able to return to staying there within the next two weeks if all goes according to plan, assuming I don’t mind putting up with the remaining construction work that’ll still be taking place at that time.” He sighed. “Personally, I am just glad the damages weren’t worse than they were and no one was injured.”
“Except Brimspark, of course,” Ember added with a smirk.
“Of course,” Blueblood agreed with a nod. He paused for a moment then glanced at the hippogriff beside him. “Aquila, can you give me a moment with the dragon lord? There is something I wish to discuss with her in private.”
“Sure!” Aquila replied and walked off to examine some of the castle’s nearby shrubbery.
Once she was out of hearing range, Ember got to the point. “All right, what is it?” she asked wearily.
“It is just a small point,” Blueblood reassured. “But during the fight with Brimspark…I do believe you had for some reason called me a friend.”
“Oh, that,” Ember said and winced. “Slip of the tongue, really, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Blueblood nodded, relenting. “Of course not.”
“Not even after all that.”
“Oh, absolutely.”
“So we’re definitely not like…besties or anything.”
“Heaven forbid!”
They were quiet for a moment.
“Perhaps acquaintances would be the better term for it anyway,” Blueblood offered.
“Yeah,” Ember agreed with a nod. “Acquaintances works.” She smirked. “So I take it I wasn’t all bad then?”
“Well, I don’t know,” Blueblood remarked, proceeding to recap, “You’ve been insulting and demeaning to me this whole time…”
“That was the idea.”
“…destroyed several items of my property…”
“All of which were fake anyway.”
“…robbed me of my staff for the weekend…”
“Probably for the better, considering Brimspark.”
“…coerced me into a game of mud volleyball…”
“Hey, you had fun too, admit it.”
“…ruined my chances of wooing the baroness…”
“You’re welcome.”
“…set my mansion on fire…”
“Not my fault.”
“…as well as getting me to try things I had never done before, help earn me a hippogriff for a friend, saved a cherished family heirloom from harm,” he looked Ember in the eye, “and, I suppose, saved my own life as well.”
Ember studied him for a moment, before shrugging. “Eh, I was just returning the favor at that point,” she replied.
“In all honesty, dragon,” Blueblood concluded, before sighing, “I believe I may have misjudged you.”
“The sentiment’s mutual,” Ember replied. She then shouldered her duffle bag. “Anyway, thanks for the entertaining weekend. We’ll have to do it again sometime.”
“Perhaps,” Blueblood relented. “Though next time you visit, please don’t stay at my mansion.”
“Fair enough.” Ember patted him on the back. “See you around, Bluebutt.”
Blueblood nodded. “Likewise, dragon.”
Giving him a mock salute, Ember then turned and proceeded to walk off for a few feet before launching herself into the air, flying away. Blueblood watched her for a second before turning back to Aquila waiting for him. “Right then,” he remarked as he approached her. “I believe you have a train of your own to catch, Aquila?”
“Not for another hour,” Aquila said, starting to fall in step with him. She then started snickering.
“What?”
“Oh, I really shouldn’t laugh…but somebody’s stuck a piece of paper to your back that says ‘I am a silly pony’ and…”
Blueblood immediately whipped around. “DRAGOOOOOOON!”
The only response he got back was the echoes of Ember’s cackling laughter.
Author's Note
I had gotten the idea for this story actually about a year or so back, but hadn't been any great hurry to write it until I realized it'd be perfect for the pairing contest, so here we are.
~~I had to trim my original idea quite a bit in order to get it to fit under 10K words as required, so much so I might go back and restore some cut material after the judging is all completed, but despite a mildly rough spot here and there, I'm still satisfied with the end product.~~
Gone back and added back in that cut content now, as well as a few other additions and fixes along the way. 
