Ich spreche DEUTSCH! (I speak GERMAN!)

by ArthemistheSwordsman

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1670

An error in language learning has left Twilight speaking German? Can she find a way to speak normal?

By trying an instant language aid learned from a book, Twilight can now read, write, and speak German! However, she didn't realize it made her forget the language she already knows! Can she find a way to speak normal English again, considering she's seemingly the only German-knowing pony in Ponyville?

Published 2012-09-06 14:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-06 14:04:02 UTC

Kannst du mich verstehen? (Can you understand me?)

"So, what exactly are you trying to do?" The baby dragon asked, curious at his recent book request. He then wheeled a ladder to a specific shelf, climbed to the top, and pulled out a dusty old green book. It was entitled 'Speak Foreign Fast!' and had a picture of a pony on it, smiling massively. Spike had never seen a pony so excited to learn in his life until he saw the cover of that book.

"Foreign languages are always boosts to common knowledge." Twilight began to explain. "I focused so heavily on magic training and general education that I never took the time to learn a foreign language. I figure I might as well learn one sooner or later, and what's sooner than now?"

"I suppose so." Spike muttered as he placed the book on the table. "But all the ponies around here speak English, and I've yet to say any major foreign speakers. Besides, what other ponies speak another language?"

"Rarity knows some French, for starters." The unicorn snapped back. "And Pinkie, well, I know she has a bunch of foreign language translate dictionaries, but I don't think she knows all those languages. Maybe she just likes to replace words now and then."

"Sounds like Pinkie to me, but still," Spike asked, "what language are you even going to learn?"

"I don't know just yet, so I'll search through here for an easy one." Twilight answered as she opened the book to the table of contents. For such a small book, it had quite the repertoire of dialects: French, Spanish, Latin, Japanese, Italian, Dutch; to name a few! The lavender pony didn't know where to start, so she turned to the first one out of all of them; German.

"German. Seems like a good place to start." As she opened to the appropriate page, she found guides in speaking a few phrases. Of course, it didn't elaborate on pronunciation very well (which explains the large language choice for a small book, she noted). She tried pronouncing the first few lines, but it came out jargled and sloppy.

"Vei veel Uur ist es?" She slurred, attempting to ask what the time was. The library was filled with mistaken ei- and ie- sounds and whether 'ich' was 'ick' or 'ish' or something in between. After a few minutes, Twilight groaned loudly and slammed the book on the nearest table.

"This book is impossible? How could anypony learn a language from this?" She said in frustration, glaring at the useless book. Just then, something caught her eye. Upon her violent setting of the book, a few pages flipped, revealing the ecstatic cover pony speaking in a cartoony speech bubble.

'Tired of wasting your time? Can't get it to sound authentic? Try out this spell here! Learn it instantly!*' The euphoric equine claimed. Twilight couldn't believe it; she could learn German in a flash!

"Spike, get ready. I'm about to speak fluent German!" She declared as she began concentrating. Her horn began to glow its familiar white-purple, and her forehead cringed in focus. Suddenly, a ribbon of light emanated from the glowing appendage. It engulfed the unicorn, surrounding her in a bright glow. As the glow turned into an aura of purple, she began to levitate slightly. Then, in an instant, she gasped and the light-aura was vacuumed into her mouth. final flash of purple light, the aura vanished, and her horn stopped glowing.

Twilight regained composure. She didn't feel different. Did it work?

"Spike, hast alles-" She slapped her hoof over her mouth. "Ist das wirklich richtig? Sprecht ich Deutsch?"

"What? Sprick you what?" Spike attempted to imitate as he ran into the room. The flash had startled him, and he had come to see what had occurred. Now, here he was, with his best friend speaking complete gibberish!

"Spike! Das war ein Erfolg! Ich habe ein andere Sprache gelernt!" She announced in complete, fluent Germanic speech. "Es ist wunderschon!"

"Yeah, yeah, you learned a new language. Good job. But can you get back to normal English please?" The purple lizard spoke with a tone of annoyance.

"Okay, Spike." Twilight nodded. "Ich will English sprechen." After saying this, both Spike and Twilight's facial expressions altered; his to a more annoyed one and hers to a slightly worried one.

"Twilight, c'mon. English? I can't understand a word you're saying."

"Spike, ich denke, ich kann kein Englisch sprechen! Ich mochte Englisch sprechen sein!" She shouted in rage, which alerted Spike.

"What? Why aren't you speaking normal?" He asked, frightened. Twilight's tone of voice did not bode well. She frantically pointed at the book. Maybe there was something there that could explain this!

Spike proceeded towards the language tool. "'Tired of wasting your time? Can't get it to sound authentic? Try out this spell here! Learn it instantly!*' But what's the asterisk mean..."

As the dragon read the warning, Twilight began to realize; she couldn't read English either! She looked at the book, but could understand none of it! What happened to her?

"Twilight!" Spike announced, to her dismay.

"Ja, Spike, was ist das?" She said, worried and angered at her lack of comprehension.

"It says here, that when you use this spell, it overrides any language already learned! The reason you learned German so well is because you replaced your English with it!" He began to explain, to no avail. Twilight could barely make out a word said to her, but by reading facial expressions she understood the direness of the situation.

"Oh, toll! Ganz toll!" She began to stomp around as she vented. "Ich werde ein andere Sprache gelernt. Ist das zu schwer ein Frage? Ich glaube nicht! Aber, nein, ich kenn kein Englisch, und meine Drache kannst mich nicht verstehen!"

"Well, whatever. I have no idea what you said, but I think I have the solution. Maybe English is in this book!" He began to flip rapidly through the pages, until finally, he succeeded; English! And a spell to learn it instantly as how Twilight had learned German!

Only one catch; the English part was in SPANISH. How could English-knowing Spike or German-knowing Twilight read it?

"Uh, Twi. I found it, but..." The dragon said flatly as he carried the open tome to Twilight. Her response upon seeing the solution was just as joyful as Spike's.

"Ugh! Spanisch? Wirklich? Alles sind zu schwer fur mich!" She complained. As she continued her enraged pacing, she thought frivolously on how to solve this dilemma. Would she have to learn English all over again? Would she have to hire a translator from some foreign nation? Wait, translator? Translate! That's it!

"Spike! Ich habe ein Idee! Wir mussen Pinkie Pie sehen!" The German unicorn claimed. Spike could barely make out what she said, considering its closeness to the English way.

"Pinkie? But why-Oh! Yeah! She has translating dictionaries!" The dragon declared. "I'll go with you, I think I can explain the situation to Pinkie better than you can." He giggled as he climbed on Twilight's back.

"Haha, sehr komisch, Spike. Dann mal los!" She said as she began to walk to Sugarcube Corner. She grabbed 'Speak Foreign Fast!' and left in a hurry. The sooner they get there, the better.

"Wait, so Twilight can't speak?" Pinkie said in confusion.

"Well, she can, but it's, uh, complicated." Spike said, trying to hide the real dilemma. "And your German-to-Spanish dictionary is the only thing that can help right about now."

"Uh, okay?" The party pony responded, still confused. "But I don't see how two random languages will help Twilight. I'll go get it. Moment, bitte!"

"WHAT did you just call me?" Spike called in anger.

Twilight and Pinkie giggled. "It means 'please' Spike. It's German! It's one of my favorite languages, just because it sounds so funny! You just have to be careful, or else you'll spit on ponies!" Again, only the two ponies giggled at this remark.

"I swear, Twilight. Promise me you won't speak German again when you can't." The dragon sighed.

"Ja, Spike. Ich verspreche das." Twilight said in relief. "Aber jetzt ich hoffe, ich kann Englisch bald sprechen."

"I'll take that as an 'I promise'." The dragon chuckled.

"Hey Twilight, got that book!" Pinkie called as she returned from upstairs with the small, travel tome. Twilight immediately began flipping through its pages and the pages of 'Speak Foreign Fast!' in a desperate attempt to translate the English spell. After a few minutes of rapid page-flipping and keyword-writing, she began to focus.

"Hier geht nichts!" She said as she began to concentrate heavily. Just as before, a ribbon of light radiated from her horn, enveloped her in an aura, levitated her, and then rushed into her mouth. Spike and Pinkie turned away from the flash of purple light, and turned back to see a tired Twilight laying on the ground.

"TWILIGHT!" Spike shouted as he ran to the unicorn's side. "All you alright? Speak to me!"

"Ugh, I think so..." she muttered, and immediately her eyes brightened. She rose up frantically spouting English!

"I can speak English! You can understand me! I still have my rapidly expanded vocabulary, and complete knowledge of rhetorical devices, and advanced comprehension of proper grammar, and-" She continued ranting until Spike shushed her with his claw.

"Geez, no need to explode now. I'm starting to wish you still spoke German; you talked less." The dragon said, as he and Twilight broke into laughter. Pinkie joined in the laughing, not because she understood but because she couldn't resist a good laugh with her friends.

"I think I'm going to learn the hard way from now on, Spike. No more shortcuts for these matters!" Twilight proclaimed. "But for now, all this foreign language has made me hungry. I would've asked for food before, but you wouldn't have understood me."

"Don't worry! The cupcakes are on me!" Pinkie announced, and the three began to walk towards the display for their treat.