“Apples are better than strawberries.”
“Only if, by better, you mean better at being disgusting.”
Many would look at that exchange as nothing to be worried about. But this is not a fantasy land, and that exchange was all it took for local fruit enthusiasts, Applejack and Strawberry Sunrise, to prove that their produce was superior. How dare she insult my beloved fruit, each pony had thought to themselves. Surely she must pay! Though many had told them to just let it go and move on, they would not stop until the other would admit defeat and openly declare that theirs was the weaker fruit. The residents of Ponyville knew better though. They knew that both Applejack and Strawberry Sunrise were stubborn. They were too proud of their own produce, and they would never admit defeat. They would do whatever it took to prove their superiority. Unfortunately, that need to be the best would soon blossom into a battle that would cost many their lives. Too bad they would never find out the fruits of their labor until it was too late.
This is the documentation on The War of the Fruit.
Strawberry Sunrise was the one who struck first. It all started after some harsh insults she gave about Applejack’s family’s livelihood, which included her saying, quote, “I’m sorry that you actually bite into those tasteless, mealy, worm-filled things,” unquote. That last statement lit a fire inside Applejack; a fire of pure hatred towards Strawberry Sunrise and all of her tart, seedy, mold-infested strawberries. In fact, she made it known immediately by repeating her thoughts angrily to Strawberry, who was, of course, insulted. There was a loud slam of a front door, and Applejack had stomped away. Now, if that was all that happened, there wouldn’t be a need to document it. But this is the cutthroat business of fruit, and fruit-growers never forgive, and they never forget!
When Applejack had laid down for bed that night, she took one last look out her window at the beautiful row of apple trees. One in particular caught her eye; a young sapling Applejack herself had just planted a few months ago. Applejack sighed contently, thinking of how much time and care she had put into the little tree. It had reached almost four feet now, and there were even some pink buds starting to poke out between the buds of green. Proud of her work, Applejack ducked under the covers, and had no trouble falling asleep. As the rooster crowed the next morning, a ray of sunlight peeked into Applejack’s room. Applejack sat up and looked around, rubbing her eyes sleepily. It was then that she noticed a bulge of something under the covers next to her. Curious, she pulled back the blanket, and a horror-stricken scream escaped her mouth.
There lay her sapling, her beautiful sapling that she had tended to for months, uprooted and hacked into two!
Applejack, still opened-mouthed in horror, knelt beside it and picked up the shattered branches. The few pink buds that would’ve later become full apple blossoms had fallen off. All the hard work, sweat, and care she had poured into it; wasted! Applejack was appalled and dismayed, feeling like she just lost her only child.
And then, in the blink of an eye, that grief turned into something else; rage. The need for vengeance filled Applejack like a nest of angry flash bees, and she saw nothing but red against Strawberry Sunrise. She wanted a war? Then she was going to get one!
It was around 11:00 in the morning, and Strawberry Sunrise had just opened up her strawberry stand. Little containers of freshly-picked strawberries were set up on both sides of the stand, some with signs in front of them saying Buy 1 Crate, Get 1 Free. Strawberry Sunrise smiled widely as she waved to the passing ponies.
“Get your fresh strawberries!” she shouted happily. “So fresh they just came off the branch!”
Within the first hour, Strawberry had sold almost a dozen containers, and it was just about lunchtime. Happy with how her shift was going, Strawberry decided to run across the street to Sugarcube Corner to get herself a muffin. How unfortunate of a decision that was, for when she trotted out of the bakery 10 minutes later, a plump, strawberry muffin in a paper bag tucked under her wing, she looked up toward her stand, and saw something that made her drop everything in shock.
Her stand was in pieces, and every single remaining box of strawberries was smashed here and there, all along the ground!
Running to what remained of her business, Strawberry felt her eyes fill with tears as she looked at the ground around her, which had been painted red by the strawberry massacre. All full days’ worth of business had been turned to jam! It was then that Strawberry noticed something sitting in front of the crushed stand; a smooth, round, ruby-red apple. As Strawberry picked it up, she noticed there was something carved into it on the back. She turned it around and saw only three words; Viva la Apple. Fuming hatred started to bubble inside Strawberry as she dropped the apple onto the ground and stomped hard upon it, sending applesauce flying in all directions. Unfazed, she raised her apple remains-covered hoof up to her face, and stared vengefully at it, like it was the apple guts that did her wrong. She knew then what had to be done.
“Of course you realize, Applejack,” Strawberry spat, “this. Means. War!”
Over the next couple of days, both mares made it clear that the other was not going to get the better of them, and things were getting more heated than ever. The destruction of Applejack’s sapling and Strawberry’s stand was just the beginning of their acts of war. The next action was Strawberry writing in giant letters, Strawberries Forever in applesauce on the side of the Apples’ barn. That vandalistic act got the attention of Applejack’s grandmother, Granny Smith, who quickly joined the war. In retaliation, the Apples pushed all of the strawberry carts into the river. That, in turn, convinced Strawberry’s father, Red Albion, into joining the fight as well. When the Strawberries set bunches of worms upon the Apples’ apple trees, Applejack’s brother, Big Macintosh, offered his help in infesting the Strawberries’ crop with weevils. Because of that, Strawberry’s mother, Strawberry Shortcake, vowed vengeance upon the Apples. In only a matter of days, the war between Applejack and Strawberry had expanded to the Apples versus the Strawberries. Parents and grandparents, siblings and cousins, uncles and aunts, it looked like both sides were looking more and more like armies.
Unbeknownst to the feuding families, the rest of Ponyville was starting to suffer as well. Since the two sides were too focused on fighting the other, they weren’t tending their crops, which meant no apples or strawberries, which meant no apple or strawberry products, which meant many unhappy residents. The problem was, no pony wanted to get involved out of fear of being called out as a “traitor to the cause.” One of Applejack’s friends experienced this firsthand.
“This has gone far enough, AJ!” Rainbow Dash scolded at Applejack, who was in the middle of drawing out more battle plans. “If you don’t stop soon-”
Applejack’s head shot up as a wild gleam appeared in her eye. “I need to stop?” Before Rainbow could answer, Applejack had gotten right in her face, so their muzzles were inches apart. “What’re ya tryin’ to say, Dash? That the Apples are in the wrong? You tryin’ to force us into a surrender? You a filthy, Strawberry spy?”
Rainbow looked appalled. “No! I just meant-”
“You always liked strawberries, didn’t ya?!” Applejack snapped. “Ah’ve seen the way ya look at those crates as we trot past! Well, we here got no room fer Strawberry supporters here!” She pointed to the door. “Now git out before Ah toss ya out!”
Without another word, Rainbow Dash bolted.
Yes, it seemed like there was no end to the vandalism and sabotaging. Near the end of the week, however, the two families decided to meet in the center of town to see if a surrender was achievable. When the clock tower at town hall showed 12:00 noon, the Apples and the Strawberries, now backed with even more family members than before, stood facing each other, neutral-faced. All was quiet, with nothing but the rustling of a foreboding wind. The Ponyville residents were watching from their cottage windows, too afraid to get in between the families, and waiting anxiously on who would make the first move.
Finally, after what seemed like minutes, Applejack stepped forward. On the other side, Strawberry Sunrise did the same. They glared at each other for another minute, and then, Applejack spoke.
“You guys ready to end this?” Applejack declared.
“Yes we are,” Strawberry replied, “just as long as you are ready to admit that you were wrong and proclaim for all the street to hear that strawberries are the superior fruit!” The rest of the Strawberry clan cheered their approval.
When the cheering died down, Applejack shouted, “We will never surrender our beliefs! You started this, so you need to end it!” The Apples cheered their cheer. “Say it! Say that apples are the best!”
“Never!” Strawberry snapped as her family started shouting as well. Both families shouted obscenities to each other for another minute, stamping their hooves in support of their kin, before Applejack and Strawberry raised a hoof, bringing back the silence almost at once.
“Very well,” Applejack said menacingly. “If you do not admit defeat, then there’s only one way to end this. We battle to the death!” More shouts echoed from the Apples.
“I accept your challenge,” Strawberry announced over the renewed shouts of both sides. “We shall meet back here at sundown!”
Applejack nodded. “May the ground be splattered with the jams of your fruit from Tartarus!”
With that, both families turned and marched back to their homes. They had to prepare for the sauce bath that would commence at sundown, for when they marched out onto that battlefield, it might just be the last thing they do.
Little did they know, however, that an Apple and Strawberry watched from afar, and were not looking to join in the battle.
Applejack’s little sister, Apple Bloom, and Strawberry Sunrise’s older brother, Strawberry Crisp, had been viewing the downward spiral of their families, and just couldn’t stand by anymore and let this battle happen. It was clear that their sisters were too far gone to listen to them, so they decided to take it up with a higher power and go to Princess Twilight Sparkle. Surely, she would have the power to make this horrible war end.
They were sadly mistaken.
“I’m truly sorry, you two,” Twilight had said while sitting in her crystal tree palace. “I don’t think even my magic is enough to stop this war. Their fruity pride is just too great.”
Running low on hope, the two suddenly got the idea to look to somepony higher than Twilight. They jumped on the first train they could to Canterlot to speak to Princess Celestia herself. But when they explained the situation to her, she suddenly looked terrified and said in a hushed tone, “Mother of Me! Apples and strawberries!” And then she bolted out of the throne room, saying something that sounded like, “Save the bananas!”
Apple Bloom and Crisp left the palace, dejected and running low on hope. Their families were going to war, and not even the princesses could stop it. Could no pony stop this madness? Crisp suddenly lifted his head and put a hoof on Apple Bloom’s shoulder, gaining her attention.
“We have to stop this!” he said sternly. “If we can get in the middle of the armies before the battle, maybe we can show them just how much has been lost already!”
Apple Bloom nodded. “We gotta at least try. Let’s get back and-”
Apple Bloom’s eyes suddenly went wide as she looked towards Ponyville in the distance. A golden light was shining on it; a golden light of sunset! The two looked at each other, worry plastered across their faces. It was time for the battle to begin!
“The armies are startin’ to make their battle lines!” Apple Bloom shouted. “We gotta hurry!” And the two hurried as fast as they could to the train station, hoping against hope that they wouldn’t be too late.
The golden sun was setting behind the majestic mountains in the distance as the Apples and the Strawberries marched onto the plain of battle. The entire center of town had been cleared out. The residents had taken shelter in any basements and storage rooms that were available. Only a few stayed in their homes, their eyes glued to the scene outside. Each family had made a flag representing their proud fruit. Crates upon crates of each familys’ produce was being carried by large carts, and was to be used as the ammunition. And there, at the front of the armies, were Applejack and Strawberry Sunrise, each wearing hoof-crafted armor made of fruiting cans, and marching towards each other to greet with the ferocity of battle.
When both armies came to a halt 100 yards from each other, once again, there was silence. The golden sky cast upon the scene would’ve looked beautiful, if there wasn’t about to be jam shed. Taking the initiative again, Applejack stepped forward.
“This is yer last chance, Strawberry Sunrise!” she shouted. “Surrender, or face the fruitiness of our apples!”
“Here’s what I think of your apples!” Strawberry shouted as she raised her hoof. Applejack knew immediately what was to come when Strawberry brought her hoof back down. The Apples looked up, and shooting up into the sky were thousands of strawberries, darkening the sky, and coming right for them.
“SHIELDS UP!” Applejack shouted, and the whole army raised their shields made of the strongest of apple tree wood over their heads as the strawberries showered upon them. More and more they came, bouncing and splattering upon the wooden shields. Under her breath, Applejack muttered, “Strawberry cowards!”
After minutes of waiting, the strawberry shower had finally subsided. The Apples lowered their now jam-covered shields and turned to Applejack, who turned back and spoke loudly, for all to hear.
“They gave us their answer! Now we will give them ours! Arise! Arise, ponies of the Apples!”
Meanwhile, Strawberry had turned to her army, and started shouting as well.
“You have come to fight as free Strawberries, and free Strawberries you are!” she called out to her family. “What will you do with that freedom? Prove that strawberries are the superior fruit?”
“Saplings shall be shaken,” Applejack continued, “seeds shall be splintered! A core day! A red delicious day! Ere the sun rises upon the apples!”
“And dying in your strawberry orchards, years from now,” Strawberry shouted, “would you be willing to trade all the days for this day-”
“Ride now! Ride for famine, and the fruit’s ending!”
“-that those apples can take our lives, but they can never take our strawberries!”
“CHARGE!”
Both voices rang out that last word together, and with a great shout, both armies charged forward, brandishing their produce, ready to attack. With a sound like thunder, the families crashed together, and within seconds, apples and strawberries were seen being thrown all around. All that could be heard was the battle cries of the armies and the splattering of fruit upon fruit. The battle became more vicious, and by the time the golden sunset had almost disappeared behind the mountain, sauce and jam were scattered all over the ground, truly painting the battleground red. The ponies still in their houses watched in horror as members of each family were seen chasing down their opponents and shoving apples or strawberries in their faces. Bodies were starting to litter the ground as well, covered in the remains of once-respected fruit, but still the families continued to fight on.
“Forward, Apples!” Applejack shouted above the crowd, taking time to buck an apple right in the face of a charging Strawberry cousin. “Show them who’s fruit is the greatest in Equestria!”
“APPLEJACK!” called a voice from behind. Applejack spun around, and saw Strawberry Sunrise, standing defiantly, a few yards away. She was glaring upon Applejack, a scowl on her face, applesauce smudged on her face, and a ripe strawberry on her raised hoof.
“This. Ends. Now!” she snapped.
Applejack said nothing, but picked up a fresh apple from the ground, never taking her eyes off of her opponent. The sounds of the battle around them died away, for the other thing that mattered was the two who started the war; their last stand. As Applejack and Strawberry simultaneously raised their fruit for the attack, their last thought was that only one was going to stand triumphant, and if this was the only way, then so be it! The two ponies fixed their gazes, took aim, and, with a great shout, released their ammo.
“STOP!”
The shout echoed all around the center of town, and through the chaos and fighting, it caught the attention of all ponies. Apple Bloom and Strawberry Crisp had run onto the battlegrounds in between their sisters. Applejack’s eyes widened and meant to stop herself mid-throw, but it was too late. As if in slow motion, Applejack watched in horror as the apple soared from her hoof, and headed straight for Apple Bloom’s face. On the other side, Strawberry Sunrise had already thrown her strawberry as well, and Crisp had charged right into her line of fire. With two echoing splats, the apple made contact with Apple Bloom’s cheek, and the strawberry hit Crisp right between the eyes.
Two more cries rang out, but they were the shocked and distressed cries of two sisters who had just splattered their own siblings. The fighting had stopped, and the members of the Apple and Strawberry families were looking at the scene with horror. As the bodies of Apple Bloom and Strawberry Crisp fell to the ground, Applejack and Strawberry Sunrise rushed to their side. Sauce and jam had covered the siblings’ faces, and their eyes were barely open. Together, Applejack and Strawberry scooped their kin in their hooves.
“Applebloom!” Applejack cried, tears starting to pour from her eyes. “Sugarcube, please! Say something!” Slowly, Apple Bloom turned her gaze up toward her big sister.
“Ah-Ah didn’ want you to fight no more,” Apple Bloom croaked as she lifted a trembling hoof to her sister’s tear-stricken face. “Please stop the fightin’. All...fruit...is...good…” With one final gasp of breath, Apple Bloom’s hoof fell limp to her side. Her eyes were still half open, but there was no life to be found in them. She had been sauced.
A fresh wave of silent tears streamed down Applejack’s face as she hugged her sister tightly, rocking slightly, hoping that this was all just a bad dream. Looking up across from her, Applejack saw Strawberry Sunrise crying over her brother’s lifeless body, her head resting on his chest.
“Oh, Crisp!” she sobbed. “Crisp, I’m so sorry! I never meant to hurt you! Come back! Please come back!” Strawberry Crisp didn’t respond, but lay there, jam dribbling down his face.
The rest of the Apples and Strawberries had started to crowd around their fallen kin. The echoing cries could be heard from all around. Big Mac was sobbing into Granny Smith as she held him tightly, tears flowing from her face as well. Red Albion and Strawberry Shortcake held each other and were crying into each other’s shoulders. Looking up, Applejack just then noticed her surroundings. Maybe it was the grief she was feeling, but she saw just how much had been sacrificed in her and Strawberry’s pursuit to have the best fruit. Thousands of innocent apples and strawberries littered the ground, smashed and useless. Looking past a gap of ponies, she saw that Sweet Apple Acres, which once showed tall, strong apple trees, was now barren. She saw the Apple and Strawberry relatives spread out on the ground, unstirring, with sauce and jam plastered across their bodies.
Applejack looked back down at her lifeless sister. All of those insults against apples were not worth it. The acts of petty vengeance against the Strawberries were not worth it. This whole war was just not worth it. Applejack realized that now, and she had a good feeling that Strawberry Sunrise had realized that too. And now, because of her pride and stubbornness, her only sister, one of the only Apples who saw just how silly this all was, was sauced. The realization hit Applejack like a boulder to the face, and with that realization, fresh, hot tears cascaded down Applejack’s face as she cradled her sister and sobbed loudly, which could be heard all throughout Ponyville.
And thus, the War of the Fruit came to a close, but at what cost?
"Well?” Pinkie Pie said, after she had read the last sentence. “What did you think?”
She had just finished reading her new story to Applejack and Strawberry Sunrise, who looked at each other humorously. When Pinkie had come to them saying that she had written a story about them, they didn’t know what they were expecting. Now that they heard it, they really weren’t expecting that.
“Um…” Applejack hummed, trying to find the right words. “It was definitely…something alright.”
“Definitely something,” Strawberry repeated. “Did you do that all by yourself, Pinkie?”
“Most of it,” Pinkie replied with a smile. “I got the idea from Rarity telling me about the little ‘exchange’ you guys had, Twilight helped me with grammar and punctuation, and even Discord threw in his two bits!”
Applejack picked up the story and turned pages toward the middle. Taking a moment to read again, she looked up with a raised eyebrow. “‘Save the bananas?’ Really?”
“Yeah, that was Discord’s contribution,” Pinkie giggled.
“Makes sense,” Applejack nodded as she gave the story back to Pinkie.
“And what was all that tragedy at the end of the story?” Strawberry asked. “Was it really necessary to kill off Apple Bloom and Strawberry Crisp?”
Pinkie rapidly shook her head. “I never did say ‘killed’ in the story. That’s the whole idea of a dark comedy.”
“I see,” Strawberry replied.
“Well, it was very creative, Ah’ll give you that, Pinkie.” She glanced at Strawberry again, and then looked back. “Though maybe a little far-fetched.”
“I agree,” Strawberry added with a chuckle. “I mean, starting a war over whose fruit is superior? That seems a little extreme.”
Applejack laughed too. “No kiddin’. Ah mean, we all know which fruit clearly is the better one.”
“Clearly,” Strawberry agreed.
“Apples!”
“Strawberries!”
Applejack and Strawberry had spoken at the same time. At once, both of their faces whipped around, and they glared at each other defiantly. Pinkie Pie stared, wide-eyed, between them both.
“Ah thought we had settled this, Strawberry Sunrise!” she barked. “Apples are, without-a-doubt, better!”
“Oh psshaw!” Strawberry scoffed. “I never said anything of the sort. Strawberries are the better fruit, and every pony knows it!”
“Is that a fact?” Applejack growled as the two ponies butt their heads together. “Ya know, you got a nice strawberry stand there. It’d be a darn shame if something happened to it!”
“I could say the same about your little apple sapling!” Strawberry spat back.
The two of them were suddenly silenced by the loud gasp of Pinkie Pie, who was looking at Applejack and Strawberry in horror.
“It’s happening!” she squealed for the whole street to hear. “It’s happening! The War of the Fruit has begun!” Within an instant, Pinkie had grabbed her story and took off like a rocket across town, shouting, “Hide your kids! Hide your wives! HIDE YOUR PRODUCE!”
As soon as she was gone, Applejack and Strawberry Sunrise’s angry faces turned into suppressed giggles. Clearly, the acts of hostility were just a prank on Pinkie. Amused at their joke, the two chortled into fits of laughter as they clung onto each other.
“Seriously though,” Applejack added quickly, “apples are better.”
