Starlight Turns Evil Because Cutie Marks Killed Her Parents

by Leondude

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Firelight
Length: 1149

What if Starlight's backstory had a more sympathetic backstory? Even if it's only 1% more sympathetic than what we got.

What if Starlight Glimmer had a more valid reason for hating on Cutie Marks? What if, instead of her childhood bestie, the Cutie Marks took somepony else from her?

And by “took”, I mean “killed dead”. And if the cover art and title didn't give it away, you probably know where this is going.

Published 2021-05-31 20:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-05-31 20:00:01 UTC

Why Yes, This Was Inspired By That Infamous Scene In Cruella

The dust-filled winds of the barren wasteland once known as Equestria bellowed as Starlight stared into the distance. There was nothing for miles except for rocks, withered-away trees, and the occasional tumbleweed. Was this really what would happen if she made sure Twilight and her friends never met each other? Starlight knew such a notion would be impossible because there was no way in Tartarus that a group of ponies that are so different from each other would be so important to Equestria’s future. The source of this timeline was the same as all the other ones.

Cutie Marks.

“Like I said,” Twilight explained to Starlight, “Everything in the past affects the future, even the tiniest act. What you’re doing leads here. I know I can’t stop you but I thought showing you this might change your mind.”

Starlight turned to face Twilight, “Change my mind?! You don’t know anything about me. I was perfectly happy before and your friends RUINED WHAT I’VE BUILT!”

“I don’t know what happened that led you to make your village without Cutie marks,” Twilight said, “And I’m sorry my friends and I had to take it away.”

Starlight snarled at Twilight. She could tell that Twilight wasn’t sorry at all. If she was, she would have accepted her way of life and embrace being equal instead of being all high and mighty about their differences.

“You wanna know what happened to me?” Starlight shouted, “I’LL SHOW YOU!”

Somewhere on a very spooky cliffside near an equally spooky mansion, Firelight and his wife conducted business with Baron Von Bondepick. Despite it being pitch-black outside with the occasional lightning bolt to illuminate the night sky, he could make out the baron’s yellow eyes, pointy Van Dyke and cartoonishly tall top hat, as well as a magic flute the baron held in one of his hooves. Even though he was a massive history enthusiast, Firelight wondered whether it was such a wise idea in hindsight to visit the old Von Bondepick house and find all there is to know about the Von Bondepicks.

“I know you’re a fan of privacy, Mr Bondepick, sooo...if me and the wife keep quiet about your family’s sordid history and never come back here, can you put down that magic whistle of yours?”

The baron chuckled maliciously. And with a deep breath, he blew into the flute and played a hauntingly melodic tune. Out of the corner of his eye, Firelight saw Starlight gallop out of the mansion.

“Stay back, pumpkin!” Firelight warned his daughter.

The young Starlight was curious as to what her dad meant. Then, out of nowhere, a bunch of ponies flew backwards towards where her parents and the suspicious Von Bondepick were standing. Even the butler was affected as Starlight was tackled by the sudden arrival of that particular pony’s flank.

“I say, what’s going on with my rump?” the butler asked as he stared at his flank, with his Cutie Mark glowing a luminescent colour.

Even though they could move to the side or even duck, Starlight’s parents stood idly by as the onslaught of floating flanks charged at them. And all Starlight could do was watch as both of her parents were hit in the face by the glowing Cutie Marks.

Firelight and his wife were pushed off the cliff they were standing on and fell to a clumsy, painful death.

“And just like that, my parents were gone,” Starlight growled, “And it was all because of those Cutie Marks!”

As Starlight turned around to face Twilight, she saw both the alicorn and her assistant, Spike, trying their best not to laugh. Spike had his hand covering his mouth while Twilight looked like a goldfish that sucked on lemon juice.

“You think this is funny?!” Starlight exclaimed, “You just watched my parents fall to their deaths and all you can do is LAUGH?!”

Twilight fell into a hysterical fit of giggles, “I know, hahaha. And I’m so-hohoho-orry for your loss, especially since one of my friends is an orphan. But you gotta admit, being hit in the face by somepony’s flank and then dying is not exactly the easiest thing to take seriously.”

“It’s not funny!” Starlight shouted, “Do you know what it’s like to see other foals get birthday and Hearth’s Warming presents while I don’t?! Or to get constantly triggered by ponies celebrating their Cutie Marks like they’re something to be proud of?!”

“So a bunch of ponies fly flank-first into your parents’ faces and you think Cutie Marks had something to do with it?” Spike asked while laughing his tail off.

“YES!” Starlight angrily replied.

“That’s ridiculous,” Twilight said between fits of laughter, “Cutie Marks didn’t kill your parents. Baron Von Bondepick did!”

“Yeah,” Spike said, “And your parents weren’t the only ponies that fell off the cliff. Imagine how that poor butler felt.”

And in that moment, Starlight realized that everything she did was wrong. From her cult to her attempts at stopping Twilight’s friends getting their Cutie Marks. For the first time in her life, she realized that Cutie Marks weren’t the problem. From this day forth, no longer shall she be Starlight Glimmer the Cutie Mark-hating overpowered unicorn. Instead, she shall be Starlight Glimmer, the hero Equestria needs. Sure, she was still overpowered and that might create conflict with her allies but she knew as soon as she announced to the world that she turned over a new leaf, they would welcome her with a loving embrace. And even if she fell back into old habits and mind-controlled her new friends or, even more ridiculously, switched the Cutie Marks of the most important ponies in all the land, they would immediately forgive her in just under half an hour. And somewhere in between all the friend-making, she shall dress up as a bat, beat up criminals in the dead of night, and maybe push Von Bondepick off a cliff to see how he would like it.

But she was still upset with Twilight and Spike making fun of her tragic past so she snapped their necks with her magic and travelled back to the present.

Author's Note

Before anyone who has seen Cruella points out to me that Cruella (ironically enough) doesn't hold it against the dalmations that pushed her mother off a cliff, I am very much aware of that fact after perusing its TvTropes page.

But that would ruin the meme, wouldn't it? :twilightsmile:

BTW, I do not think being orphaned is funny (unless the parents were tackled off a cliff by mutts and/or flying butts) and and I am in no way making fun of Batman. Seriously, if Batman was real, he'd beat the snot out of me if I even dared to joke about how he's an orphan. :rainbowlaugh: