Bad, Fanfiction

by Johnson

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Human, Dark
Length: 1010

sexy derp

This is bad fanfiction read at your discretion.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-06 02:17:36 UTC

I just wanna see your literary tastes cry

I'm an Alicorn the best bucking awesome Alicorn in all of Equestria, thats right I'm even sexier than Celestia and that bitch got a nice butt. But I digress, the truth is I'm walking home to my mansion that is purple and I open the door to find my house completely being catered by my wives.

"Mares! your man has returned from the tribulations of work!" said I as I glowed in the door.

"Honey your home!" they all said in unison, "how can we please our lord and master awesome Alicorn dude" said the women as they completely swarmed my body.

"Well Twilight Sparkle, Nightmare Moon, Luna, and Rarity you can all start by sucking my dick!"

"Anything to please our manly man of manliness" said the horny women

The four then reached their mouths to suck my dick, but then they learned that sucking my dick was impossible if I only had one. "Girls do not worry I have enough dick for everypony!" said myself as I glowed again.

My face cringed and my eyes squinted as I moaned and breathed heavily as I grew three more dicks for my beautiful bitches to suck on. "Thank you hunk of a man!" they also said in unison. Then the women started to suck on me like they were sweet Twizzlers and it felt great until I got bored of it.

"Enough of the sucking! now you shall please me by cooking me dinner! get to the kitchen!" They all ran and swarmed the kitchen trying to cook me something that will fit on my higher tastes but Im just too awesome for it to work. The first pony to finish a dinner for me was Rarity, it was a french dish that had duck or something. I took a bite and flavored the duck in my tongue and then I spit it in her face. "This duck was delicious too delicious you must make it less delicious next time!" said I as I glowed with the glow of a thousand suns. "Now go to the shame box" I said as I started to dim down from utter awesome.

"Yes m'lord I will do a better and more eloquent dinner next time..."

"Enough fancy talk go to the box!" I said with a booming Luna voice!

In the corner of the kitchen rested four shame boxes witch were actually just cardboard boxes with one hole each for the women to breath in. Rarity crawled into her box and will lay there for the rest of the day as I watch the Red Sox beat the Knoles or something sports related.

"Next!" said I with the godliest voice in all of godliness.

Now came Twilight Sparkle with her intelligence she shall surely make me something good to eat. She poared the soup that came down from her ladle and I took a sip of the contents. "Yummy! this isn't bad, come closer dear!" I said with gratuitous gratuity. "Wow I'm glad you liked my cooking my love... OOF!" She said as I gave her a congratulations bitch slap.

"You did well woman I leave you with that scar on your face as a testament to you pleasing me, Now enough food! It is time for T.V.!" The other two women looked at me and said "But why? we cooked for you too!"

"How dare you doubt me! into the box of shame!" said I abusively.

They whined and went into their boxes.

I went to my nice sofa and sat with Twilight Sparkle and watched some good ol' football and everytime my team lost a ball or the other team scored I would beat my lovely wife. "I'm sorry honey that he lost the ball... OOF! I wish that I could be there to do something... OOF! maybe the other team will miss the ball... OOF!" said my second wife as I beat her.

"ding-dong bitches and hoes got nothing on me ding-dong!" went the doorbell.

"You get the door!" I said to Twilight Sparkle with a booming voice.

As I ordered my woman to open the door, I noticed she seemed knocked out by all the beatings I heaped upon her.

"Lazy woman! you will rue the day you slept on the job!" I said with ferocity.

I with my prestige walked to the door and opened it to see Pinkamena adorned with some sexy ass attire!

"You ordered some cupcakes? well I've got a bakers dozen in my pants"

"Nice clothes you have on" I said Intrigued by this sexyness.

"I know it's made from pony skin" said the Crazy Killer

The thought that her skin was being worn by more skin gave me the hardest hard on in history, it was ranked as the biggest hard on ever by the Guiness World Records who also follow me around because I always break a record every few minutes.

"Come in and then come in again to my bedroom"

That day I made furious love to Pinkamena Diane Pie, She was literally a freak in the bed.

If you want good sex always go with the Psychopath I thought to myself as Pinkamena laid right of me and scratched my chest with her hoof.

"Well I have to go and kill more ponies, see ya later!" said Pinkamena Diane Pie as she left my bed and walked home.

"Take care!" I said as she left.

So I walked out of my bedroom and saw all my mares waiting patiently side by side by the wall.

"Who told all of you mares to get outside of your boxes!" I said with awesome.

The mares whispered amongst each other and then in unison said out loud.

"Were all pregnant with your child!"

"Gasp!" I gasped the most gaspiest gasp in all of gasping.

"Well I guess I'm going to have to give a name for all my kids, Frederick sounds nice!" said I as I pondered over the situation.

end of Part 1.