All Smoke, No Mirrors

by Jinzou

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Narcotics, Nurse Sweetheart, Drama, Carrot Top, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 76622

I don't know what I am, where I am, or how I got here. I also have no idea why I keep catching on fire.

I don't know what I am, but I know where I am. Equestria, magical cartoon utopia. A place that's basically a dream come true.

So why is the only thing I care about finding another drink?

Art by ExoticEon

Featured June 4, 2021. Thanks y'all!
Again on June 17!
Also August 17
And August 26
And October 17
And so on and so forth.

Published 2021-06-03 11:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-06-12 16:05:07 UTC

Espial

Staring back at me was a wolf. A large wolf, its hide crafted from aged, mossy wood. Glowing green eyes watched me, their glow illuminating claws the size of kitchen knives. It creaked as it moves closer, the claws leaving grooves in the dirt as it walked.

I frantically looked around, searching for an exit as the creature slowly advanced. All I saw were trees. There was no structure under which I could take refuge. No traps I could try and lure it into. I know I couldn’t outrun it, even if my legs were all good, and there was no hope of-

There! There was what looked like a rabbit hole off to my left. I have no idea if I could fit in there, but I wasn’t just giving up without a fight.

I stared back up at the timberwolf. Its hot breath hit me, replacing the subtle scent of rotting wood with the overpowering smell of smoke. Goosebumps broke out over my skin and I gave in involuntary spasm as I saw the large teeth and powerful-looking jaws that I’m sure it could use to snap my head clean off my neck.

As it closed in I moved backwards, pushing myself away and ending up landing on my back.

If I was gonna make a run for it, I could definitely use a distraction.

Not daring to break eye contact, I quickly felt the area behind me for something to use as a weapon. My desperation turned to full blown terror as I couldn’t find one. The timberwolf drew closer until I could almost reach out and touch it.

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and turned my head to the side as my shoulders hit the dirt.

I was going to die.

I didn’t know if this was all real, or a hallucination, but dammit, the terror was there. My breath came in short, shallow gasps and I felt a sour sweat break out on my back. I would never forget this moment if I made it out alive, forearm pulsing in pain, ears flattened to my skull, body trembling. I’d remember the slight breeze and remember the rock that was pushing against the lower part of my right side.

Wait, a rock!?

My plan was stupid, was definitely going to fail, and I probably made my death promised to be ten times more painful as I picked up that rock, and without a second thought, swung it directly into the timberwolf’s eye.

There was a howl of pain and I was up. All four of my hooves hit the deck and just by some crazy fucking miracle, I was able to ignore the pain of my foreleg just enough to sprint with it. It must have been some kind of natural instinct, because my legs hit the ground at just the right time to pull me into a full fledged sprint.

And then I was at the rabbit hole, or the den of some other kind of creature. And I was digging, and I was screaming and trembling, feeling tears streaming down my face, and I could hear the timberwolf behind me running after me, obviously having recovered.

I’m not ready to die!

I forced myself in deeper into the hole, my tail disappearing just a moment before the timberwolf was on me. And then he was furiously tearing at the dirt above me, and I was wanting to curl up and cry as I realized that this was it. I could feel the dirt getting caught in my nose and mouth and the whining of the timberwolf, sounding like a dog trying to force his way to a meal. As soon as I saw sunlight filtering through the now opened den, I knew I wasn’t going to make it. I held my breath, closed my eyes, and looked away.

And then I felt teeth digging into my shoulder.

I felt myself ripped away off the ground for a moment, then there I was, slammed against the earth, and I made the stupid mistake to open my eyes, that’s when I saw the monster rear back, about to go for my throat.

For just a moment, time seemed move in slow motion. I saw the timberwolf’s rear legs contract, its shoulders roll back, and its front paws tuck in ever so slightly into its body. It’s mouth opened more, revealing the impossibly sharp stakes it used for fangs. I saw its eyes narrow as it went in for the killing bite.

I was then interrupted as my horn suddenly burned, and I burst into bright pink flames, sending a wave of flame around me in a circle, and catching the beast on fire. It yelped and threw itself backwards, howling like a wounded animal as the flames spread across its body. And I was screaming too, rolling around, trying to get the dirt to snuff out the flames.

I heard the sound of wood catch fire behind me as I caught sight of my already blackened limbs. My forearm was exploding in pain and I was going light-headed, no doubt due to the flames sucking out all the oxygen from the surrounding area, and the world started going white.

I would have loved a moment to cry, a moment to think of all the people and things I was going to miss, but all I experienced was the feeling of nothingness as the world faded to white.

I let out a whimper as a bright light shone down on me.

“Mmnf… what?” I managed.

I felt odd. My body was all floaty, but at the same time I felt exhausted, like I just ran a marathon. Every muscle in my body was sore and my mouth was dry.

I could feel what felt like a sheet over me, and smell the familiar antiseptic-esque smell of vodka. That probably meant I fell asleep while soaked in it again.

“Are you alright?” asked a female whose voice I didn’t recognize. “Are you feeling any pain?”

“No ma’am.” I replied hoarsely. “Where am I? Am I dead?”

I cracked open my eyes and took a moment to accept what I was seeing was actually true.

I was definitely in a hospital room, but the only other person in the room looked… off, somehow. She was pink, freckled, and her hair was purple and white. She was also a little on the bigger side.

There was something else about her… Something I just couldn’t place.

“You’re in the Ponyville General Hospital, darling,” the female responded. “And no, you’re still very much among the living.”

I let out a mighty yawn and stretched out my arms. It took me a moment to register that my left foreleg and hoof had a cast on it.

Wait, I wasn’t supposed to have hooves.

My eyes snapped wide open.

I sat up suddenly, pausing as I got suddenly lightheaded. I looked all over myself.

Everything came racing back at that moment. Waking up as a pony, the train, the forest, the timberwolf, the fire-

The fire!

“Woah woah there little miss. Take it easy.” The nurse--the pony nurse put a hoof on my shoulder. “You just woke up, the anesthetic will take some time to wear off.”

I stared down at my good forehoof. The mental image of a charred black foreleg flashed before me, but my forearm now looked fine. Still an eggshell white, but not burnt at all.

“How badly was I burnt?” I demanded, ready to hear all about my horribly disfigured face.

“Oh, not at all.” The nurse smiled. “Good thing, too. The fire got snuffed out quickly enough, but you were right in the middle of the area. Good thing you're so unique, isn’t it?”

A pang of terror welled up at those words. She knew I wasn’t normal. I wasn't ready to explain what had happened! I didn't even know what was going on!

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied, fighting to keep my voice neutral. “I’m just a regular pony.”

“Oh darling,” the nurse soothed. “I know you’re not a pony. Don’t worry, it’s not like we’re gonna judge you for the circumstances of your birth.”

“Heh, right, I forgot, I’m a dragon.” I chuckled weakly, avoiding eye contact.

Shit, I’m a terrible liar.

“Well… partially, yes.” The nurse’s eyebrows knit together.

I blinked back at her, starting to think we were maybe talking about different things.

“What I was told is that the scales and fire abilities of your race were due to dragon DNA. There was some testing done, but we haven’t really made contact with other Kirin until recently.”

Scales? Fire abilities? Kirin?! The only thing I know about Kirin was that they were a sports drink and a beer in Japan.

Okay, so slow down, think about what you’re gonna say before-

“Can I see a mirror?” I blurted out.

Well okay, or do that.

The nurse rummaged around in some of the drawers for a few moments, before grabbing the handle of a hand mirror in her mouth and carrying it over to me.

My vision was brought first to my horn. It didn't look like a normal horn, it honestly looked more like a… well, it looked like a special toy you might find on an adult website.

Looking down, I had a normal-ish looking cartoon pony face, but my muzzle had-

Holy fuck I had a beard!

I brought up my good foreleg to my chin instinctively, feeling nothing there. Upon a closer look, I didn't have a beard, but my - I guess "mane" is the right word here- blonde mane traveled down the sides of my head and met up on my chest.

Well, I was still green-eyed, that was also the same.

I turned around a couple of times, observing my whole body as the nurse watched.

So my tail was different, I had extreme floof, and a sex toy attached to my forehead. And that wasn't even the last freaky thing.

I had scales.

From the top of my muzzle up, and on my back forming almost a… a carapace. I guess it’s a good thing the nurse told me I was part dragon, because I’d really hate to be half pony and half fish.

Actually, speaking of her…

“Uhm, ma’am?” I spoke in my annoyingly high voice. “I don’t think I caught your name.”

"Oh!" the nurse said with a start. "Terribly sorry, dear. I'm Nurse Sweetheart. What is your name?"

Okay, think of a convincing pony name. My real name would not fit- wait, shit! What if Kirin names are different?

I gotta come up with something, how about…

"Sunny Meadows"

Yeah, shit, sounds good to me.

"I'm Sunny Meadows." I said slowly.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you,” Sweetheart smiled. “But can you tell me what you were doing in the Everfree Forest in the first place?”

Okay, so if I want to make a convincing cover story, I need all the facts.

“First off…” I trailed off. “Can you tell me how I got here?”

Sweetheart cleared her throat. “Well, according to the couple that found you, Golden Harvest and Written Script, their daughter was playing not too far from the Everfree Forest when they saw the magical fire plume burst into the sky. Written Script recognized it as fire from a Nirik transformation, and decided to go see if anypony was in danger. Then they saw you passed out in the middle of a blaze, and he pulled you out as the weather team put out the fire.”

Well that revealed several things to me. One, this “Written Script” character was either the bravest or stupidest person I had ever heard of, I had caused a fire with a “Nirik transformation”, probably burnt down a good portion of a forest, and killed or destroyed the homes of a lot of innocent woodland creatures. Nice going, me.

Now, Nirik transformation. Nirik was obviously Kirin backwards, so creativity points for that, I guess. The nurse seemed to be implying that it caused the fire, and I know when the fire started, my forelegs were black, and now they weren’t. They were completely untouched. So did this “transformation” turn me black? And now that I was a “Kirin” again I was back to normal colors?

Man, I was weird.

Author's Note

Fair warning, a good bit of the next chapter is just dialouge with the nurse, but I'll do my best to keep it interesting.

Refuge?

"What now?"

"Well dearie," the nurse paused. "If it's okay with you I would like to ask you some questions."

Here it comes. This is when she starts asking why a child was out alone in the forest anyway. Where I had to come up with a cover story, at least until I could gauge how they’d react to the truth. Or at least, the truth as I saw it.

She no doubt thought I was a runaway.If I was lucky, she'd assume I was being childish and over-reacting about something trivial and that's why I ran. The other option that I could think of was that I would be considered a runaway because of something like abuse, which would make everything more complicated.

I could try and convince her of the former, but then again, I was coming in with a closed fracture. I could try and say I got that in the forest, maybe that the timberwolf did that, bu- shit, that wouldn't work anyway, there were no bite wounds on that leg. She'd have to have seen the bite wounds on the rest of my body though.

So here's the problem, I'm a god-awful liar. So I could either come up with that convincing cover story in the next couple of seconds, or… tell the truth.

Shit.

"May I ask what you were doing in the forest in the first place?" Sweetheart gave me one of those fake smiles obviously reserved for children.

Fuck it, don’t really have much of a choice here, do I? Truth it is.

"I got lost."

"I see," Sweetheart nodded. "Did you get separated from somepony?"

Ugh, somepony. Ew. Just say somebody like a normal person.

"Clearly at some point, considering there's nobody here with me."

Sweetheart gave me an almost certainly fake chuckle. "Well can you tell me what happened since you were last with somepony you recognized?"

Well, here goes nothing.

"Jumped off a train," I said casually.

Well I assume I jumped off the train. I look like I got some distance from the tracks so I wasn't pushed or tripped. It was either being thrown, unlikely with a world of quadrupeds due to biology, or jumped.

"Beg pardon?" Sweetheart blinked in confusion.

"Jumped off a train." I repeated, shrugging.

"Wh-what would possess you to do that?!"

"It seemed like what all the cool foals were doing." I shrugged again.

I mean, back home there was a popular internet challenge that had teens snorting condoms, so I felt this wasn't too weird.

Sweetheart took a moment to soak in what I was saying as my mind wandered.

I was still a po- still a kirin. Nothing changed overnight. My faculties all seemed to be there and all seemed to point at not being human anymore.

Great, so… shelve that for later. This is real. Go into shock later.

Wait, what if I was dead?

I could have been drunk and choked on vomit while asleep, or been walking, had another fainting spell, hit my head on a corner, and bled out.

Okay, calm down, ground yourself, what are you feeling physically? What’s around you?

Well, a lot of things actually, it feels like my field of view is massively larger. Probably because I have giant-ass fucking eyes now.

I could feel a soft surface under my hooves, and still smell what was apparently actual antiseptic (I blame my much larger nose). I could also feel the cast covering my hoof, feeling like when you cover your hands with hot glue as a kid so you can peel it off, but all over.

There was one more sensation I couldn't place, because it felt like it was behind my body, but not even attached to my body. It felt like I could feel the bed under and behind me. I kind of half limped in a circle, trying to find the source of the sensation, but it kept following my back. It wasn't until I caught Sweetheart giving me a weird smile out of the corner of my eye until it dawned on me what it was.

My tail.

I had a tail now.

And had been furiously chasing it like a puppy.

Well that's an interesting start.

"Uhm." I cleared my throat, my cheeks burning. "Forget you saw that, please."

"Of course, dear." The nurse smiled. This one looked genuine. "But you didn't answer my question. Why in Celestia's name would you jump off a train?"

"Don't remember." I replied nonchalantly. It wasn't a lie.

"Hm." The nurse hummed. "What do you remember before that?"

Shit.

"I was uh… just at home. Drawing a picture."

The nurse nodded.

"Okay Sunny, I'm gonna go run these notes over to the doctor. Please stay here."

I nodded and she left.

Blowing out slowly, I collapsed onto my back. No doubt they would be starting to file some sort of report with the police. They would be searching for my parents, and interviewing them. It was fair to assume I did have some guardian of some sort to get me on the train, who would be searching for me at the nearest possible stop. Assuming that next stop was Ponyville, this should be solved quickly. But if the next stop wasn’t Ponyville, or if this body was just poofed up magically, then I’m an injured child who just had a traumatic experience, and refused to give up information on a family I didn’t know existed.

I had no experience working in hospitals, but in that situation, enough red flags would be thrown up that any dolt with half a brain would be dialing up Child Protective Services. Or whatever the Equestrian equivalent would be.

It was lose-lose. I was either in the body of a child that already existed, had a past, and might have been trying to get away from somebody for a very good reason, or had some very serious mental issues; or I was a child that would have no relatives or paperwork, and it could almost be assumed was an abuse victim of some variety.

Honestly, I didn’t know which was worse. If it was the former, my belligerence might have me walking back to an abuser with a smile on my face.

Or I could just have been having a temper tantrum and jumped off a train to act out. In which case, I was a little bitch, which also wasn’t great.

My optimistic line of thinking was interrupted by a stallion with a tan coat, glasses, and a dark brown mane entering. He was wearing white scrubs, but for some reason was wearing a white undershirt with a tie on it, tucked into the scrubs.

“Ah, Sunny.” The doctor greeted.

"Hey, what's up, doc?"

The doctor pretended to look stumped and gazed at the ceiling. He extended a foreleg and pointed at the ceiling above me.

"Looks like that is."

It was a stupid joke, but it eased the environment in the room. I could already tell I was gonna like this pony.

"My name is Doctor Horse, and I'll be the doctor seeing you today, Sunny."

"Alright, cool. So how long I got, doc?"

The doctor gave off a small chuckle. "I'm gonna say probably another year. You're already very old."

Okay, a real comedian. I can dig it.

"You mean my life isn't over as soon as I graduate school?"

"Well I certainly thought so in my last few years of secondary school, but no." The doctor smiled, hanging up two x-rays side by side on the wall.

Quickly scanning over it, I recognized a simple oblique fracture, and the x-ray next to it showing it had been cleanly put back together. I couldn't make out any bone fragments, so the healing process should be simple enough. Though the logistics of a healing broken leg on a quadruped was probably very different than a leg on a biped.

"As you can see here…" the doctor started off.

"The break was clean, it was successfully splinted and casted, and I should put no weight on it for somewhere around a week, then let it bear weight gently, stopping before it hurts." I interrupted.

The doctors eyebrows shot up. "...Yes. Have you broken a leg before, dear?"

They might have done a magical scan of my body while looking for further injuries, and might have noted if they saw a bone with signs of a healed break. If I say yes they could easily catch me in a lie I wouldn't even be wittingly telling.

"Nope!" I put on my best attempt at an innocent smile. "I study medicine sometimes!"

Again, technically true.

"Wow, that's impressive." The doctor gave off an obviously fake excited tone. Maybe I'd thrown him off with my interruption and annoyed him? Oh great, brilliant first impression, me. "Planning on becoming a doctor?"

"Oh, um," I cleared my throat, "just trying to keep my options open."

The doctor nodded. "Good to hear. I want you to put no weight on that leg for at least four days, then no more weight than you can bear. After that, we'll arrange a follow up with your guardians, alright?"

I nodded silently.

"Alright, let's get the nurse in here, then we can get you a lollipop for being such a good patient. What flavor do you like?"

"No than-"

Wait, I was a kid. Well, this body was a kid. No normally functioning kid would refuse candy.

"Do you have chocolate?"

Author's Note

I think next chapter is where it starts getting really interesting.

Zenith

Author's Note

Holy crap, a Jinzou update? That happens?!

I'm sorry for the wait. I know I said some crap happened in my last blog, but then a bunch more crap happened. And then more happened. But that's not the point of this note.

I don't know if I'll go back to weekly. I'll try and keep pumping them out, but sometimes life be that way, y'know?

Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Zenith

"Dear, would you mind letting me look at your legs?"

I let out a small sniffle and a nod as I held my forelegs out. I had done a real good job on myself.

Sweetheart gingerly took the arm I had bitten and inspected it. Turns out I hadn’t bitten hard enough to draw blood with molars, my primary fangs had come out. The wounds were shallow, and there didn’t seem to be any blunt force injuries. Should be an easy recovery.

Now, of course I wasn’t gonna act like I knew that. I had severely fucked up when I injured myself right after she left, so now there was no way they’d think I actually had time to fall asleep and have a nightmare. There were several options on what else could cause the “nightmare” from attention-seeking behaviors, some sort of severe anxiety issue, or meth, but I’m pretty sure they weren’t going to assume that last one.

“Oh dear, does it hurt a lot?” Sweetheart asked gently, making eye contact.

I dropped my eyes to my foreleg and shuddered for the effect. “Mhm.” I responded quietly.

"I'm just gonna bandage this a bit so the doctor can look at it, okay?" Sweetheart asked softly, pulling out some gauze from her saddlebags.

I silently watched her work, holding my bad leg in close to my chest.

"Can you tell me what happened?" The nurse asked, taping the gauze onto my leg. The tape looked kind of weak, probably so it didn't rip off hair when it was removed. "I'm just going to tape this gauze here so the doctor can look at your injuries when he comes, okay?"

I nodded.

Alright. Cover story time.

"I just…" I let out a wet sniffle for good measure. "After you left I remember closing my eyes, and the next thing I know I felt bugs crawling on me.”

Sweetheart’s brows furrowed just the tiniest bit.

“Do you still feel or see them?”

"No ma'am." I shook my head. "It was more of a feel than a see."

Probably best to angle it more towards a panic attack.

"Okay." Sweetheart smiled. "Has this happened before?"

And probably a safe bet to say yes.

"Not often." I sniffed.

"Hm. Tell me Sunny, does the thought of being alone or… leaving the hospital scare you? It's perfectly understandable and okay if it does."

That made it sound like they were leaning toward anxiety issues, but I know they wouldn't write me off that easily. Did they think I was acting out because I was scared or lonely, or actually experienced the hallucination?

"Well I um…" I made my voice small. "I don't really like being alone in strange places, but that's not why I hurt myself. I really thought I was being crawled on."

Sweetheart's face softened. "I could get you a stuffed toy. Would that help?"

"It might."

Yeah sure, easy play, distract the kid with some material possession. Why don't you give me something shiny to chase while you're at it? Maybe jingle some keys in front of my face for me to grab at?

The door swung open and Dr. Horse walked in, adorned with white saddlebags.

I bit back an instinctive sarcastic reply.

"I hurt." I put on my best pout.

The doctor fixed me with a sympathetic look. "I know, and we'll get that taken care of, okay?"

I nodded again as the doctor pulled off the gauze and inspected the injury.

"Looks like some sort of stressor caused the primary incisors to come out." The nurse spoke in a low voice next to him. "And if they are a defense mechanism as the studies have shown…"

The doctor nodded thoughtfully as he stared at my arm.

"Nurse, bring me a section of tubigrip and a small dosage of morphine." The doctor ordered, not looking up from my foreleg.

The nurse nodded and left, taking with her all my worries. What I had done might be seen as despicable, but by God it had worked.

The doctor dropped his saddlebags and pulled out some gauze and bandages.

"Now this might hurt just a bit, but it'll help you heal and stay safe." He smiled, dabbing some liquid onto the gauze and pressing it into the injury.

I let out a low hiss as he started wrapping bandages around my foreleg.

"Are you scared of needles?" The doctor asked nonchalantly, not looking up from his work.

I really wanted to make a joke about how fearing needles would be kinda ridiculous considering I just fought a timberwolf, but fought it back. Looking too comfortable might prevent me from getting more sweet relief from the painkillers.

"Not really." I replied.

"That's good." The doctor smiled at me, nodding at Sweetheart as she re-entered the room with a syringe and a roll of wide, tannish bandage on her back.

"Now this…" The doctor tapped the needle after taking off the cap. He inserted it in my arm and connected it to an IV bag. "Will take a couple minutes to work, okay? But then you'll feel better."

About fifteen minutes later, the nurse came in to ask how I was doing. The painkiller had started really kicking in, giving me a nice, vaguely floaty feeling. It was akin to a nice buzz.

But who drinks to just get a buzz? Go big or go home, I always said.

So I told the nurse I was still in a lot of pain. I tried my best to pull off puppy eyes again, but when using, the perception gets skewed first, so I can’t be sure it worked. Of course, since I was in a world of trusting, gullible, and easy to manipulate horsies, they gave me the second dose of morphine.

Soon enough, I was straight up floating. Figuratively speaking, of course. My vision was blurring, and my arms felt kind of numb, getting that weird pins and needles feeling.

Was I drunk? No. I guess since it was as a result of painkillers, I was high. But it was enough. The foggy feeling in my head spelled out far more safety than the sterile white walls of the hospital. It didn’t matter that I was stuck in the body of a preteen horse/dragon hybrid with a rocking beard.

I was home.

Nurse Sweetheart came by at some point later with a cart of stuffed animals. I picked out a big stuffed green caterpillar that was almost half of the size of me. I named him “Bee”. Not sure why I named him that, or named him in the first place, but it seemed to come naturally. The nurse also offered a nightlight, but I waved her off with a dopey smile. I think she took the IV fluid cart out with her after switching off the light, but I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy holding Bee close, and enjoying the feeling of blissful stupor.

I’m not sure when I drifted off, but I know I was the most at peace this body had probably even been.

I wondered when I could do it again.

I woke up the next morning without a hangover. Do you get hangovers from painkillers? I wouldn’t think so. If that was so, I knew what I was switching to when I got back to human body. Assuming I ever would.

But that didn’t matter, because as soon as I saw Sweetheart, and the obviously fake smile that didn’t reach her eyes? I knew something was about to get worse.

Let’s see… Mysterious happenstance, no family nearby, possible substance issue, and apparent anxiety issues? Yeah, I can see the bad news coming from a mile away.

“Social worker coming?” I interrupted.

Sweetheart’s eyebrows shot up. She blinked at me a few times, then shook her head.

“Psychologist.”

"Ah.” I wasn’t sure if it was relief or anxiety crawling in my chest, but to know I was about to see a psychologist against my will made me a bit uneasy. To know this pony could walk in and pull some first degree quackery, and get me screwed for life? Not a welcome idea. I always hated the mental side of medicine.

Minutes went by as we waited, Nurse Sweetheart fiddling around the room and checking on supplies while I held Bee close to my chest. It felt juvenile and did nothing to calm me.

“Have you met this psychologist before, Nurse?” I asked, hoping to make small talk and ease my growing nerves. Being anxious wouldn’t help the session, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to try and relax a little.

Then again, I really didn't have any reason to hide, right? I was in the head of a completely different species that shouldn't be real, but I was also in a land of magic. They might be able to fix me.

I mean losing my responsibilities is great and all, but I miss the abilities I had as an adult. Like buying alcohol. That was a big one.

And I was absolutely not going through puberty twice.

“Oh, I have a few times around here. Often in quick passing as they come in for a session, or outside the hospital running errands in town.” She sat back in the visitor’s chair, watching me as my mind wandered.

My thoughts were soon interrupted with a curious tone of voice. “I’m surprised you can correctly pronounce psychologist. Not a common word for a filly of your age. Quite a vocabulary I’d assume? Maybe a dictionary at home?”

I bit down on my lip to prevent a physical reaction.

"Well, I'm not too social, and we don't have a lot of books, ma'am."

That was a flat out lie. I had to do a lot of reading to study for my degree, but I hated reading. I'd much rather go out and party, or do some sports.

"Well that's defi-" The nurse was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Oh, that must be her!"

Sweetheart opened the door to reveal a pegasus mare with a pink coat and a short white mane, curled at the end. She was wearing green-rimmed semicircle glasses and had blue eyes.

"Hello!" She greeted chipperly, flashing a radiant smile. "You must be Sunny Meadows. My name is Evening Glow. It's nice to meet you!"

I clenched my jaw. This was gonna suck.

"Likewise." I responded in a flat tone, nodding at her.

Sweetheart made her leave as Evening smiled at me again. She sank to her haunches and clapped her forehooves together once.

"Well Sunny, how about you tell me about yourself? I bet you have lots of interesting stories."

"Tell you about myself?" I parroted. Oh god this was gonna be painful. "My name is Sunny. I'm a Kirin." I paused for a moment, then lifted my leg, wrapped up in a cast. "I broke my leg."

"Ooh." Evening winced. "Ouch. I bet that hurt, huh?"

"Breaking bones does usually hurt, yes." I replied in a deadpan tone.

"But a big strong filly like you toughed it right out, huh?" Evening winked at me.

Yup. I was right. This was painful. Not to mention I had to deal with one of those individuals that was way too happy all the time. Those kinds of people always sketched me out.

"Well, it didn't kill me, so… yeah."

I had to bite back an "obviously". I get she was trying to be friendly and build a rapport with me, get me to loosen up, but that didn't make it any less aggravating. I wished she'd just cut to the chase.

"Do you know why I'm here, dear?"

Gotta choose my words carefully.

"Because the hospital doesn't know enough about me to make them confident in my treatment and release."

Evening nodded. "I heard you don't have much family in the area."

I couldn't resist rolling my eyes.

"Oh no, all those Kirin you see wandering around? Related to all of them."

The way the nurse had spoken when I just woke made it sound like Kirin didn't actually live here, so I figured this was a safe comment. Fake a bit of knowledge so they could think I'm more in the loop than I was, and use that to help them pry less.

"Ah, of course." Evening gave off one of those stupid fake laughs adults give kids. "Not too many Kirin around. That just means you're the talk of the town." Evening walked closer. "I heard you had quite the experience that led to you getting here."

"Yeah, I was attacked by a giant monster."

Giving these cold, quick answers will probably only extend this, though. Would kids answer these freely? Well I mean, kids don't know when to shut up, so probably, yeah.

"Wasn't the most fun I've ever had." I continued.

Evening gave off another fake laugh and I briefly considered finding a brick wall to slam my head against. "I also hear you like your calming substances."

Oh god they are going this route.

"Oh and I get that, no worries. I was known to be a bit of a party animal myself back in my heyday." Evening winked. "'Course I'm a bit too old for that now. Know what I mean?"

I cocked my head to the left. "Uh, no ma'am. I have no idea what you mean. My dad said no partying until I'm out on my own and mature enough to make decisions like that."

I could see Evening just barely chew on her lower lip.

Score! She wasn't expecting that.

"Well I sure wish I was as smart as you when I was your age." Evening simpered. "I unfortunately grew up on a farm where my parents grew corn and made a good few bits making moonshine with it."

I blinked in confusion.

"If they used corn wouldn't that make it whisk-"

I slammed my jaws shut, my eyes shooting wide open.

Fuck me and my stupid big mouth.

Evening stared at the wall above me and pondered for a moment.

"Yeah I guess that would be whiskey, wouldn't it? That's not common knowledge for one your age. How do you know that?"

Thinkthinkthinkthink!

"My parents run a distillery." I lied, hoping to hell that Kirin had distilleries. Or at least that she didn't know if they didn't.

"Gotcha." She nodded. "Family business?"

She was offering me a potential way out. There has to be a catch.

"Yup!" I faked a smile. "My grandma, I think, started it."

Evening's brows knit together.

"Huh, that business must have been hard to keep running during the whole 'stream of silence' situation. How did your family do it?"

I froze.

She had pulled out a wild card. An event I had no knowledge on, that I was supposed to. Either she came up with it and it was fake, and I'd be going along with something fake, or…

"Well, uh…" I stalled for time.

There was no good answer.

So I had to bullshit as hard as possible.

Okay, so, stream of silence sounded a bit too bullshit and on-the-nose to be literal, and it sounds like it had something to do with alcohol at least. Maybe some kind of prohibition laws, and it was called stream of 'silence' because there were less loud drunks causing trouble?

"My dad had a part time job as a writer." I bullshitted. "And my mom became a singer in a little local band. Never went big, just played at events and stuff. Y'know."

"Aw, that's nice." Evening chuckled. “Unfortunately my brother and I got all the creative talent in the family, but that does sound nice."

So either I successfully convinced her, which was a chance considering how gullible I remember the ponies being in the show, or she was just not showing her reaction.

She had shown a reaction to what I said earlier, though. But that could be a red herring.

"And you never got curious and tried what your parents made?" Evening raised an eyebrow, one side of her mouth twisted into a small smile.

"Well, I mean, curious, sure." I felt my breathing pick up. She had a professional look of curiosity on her, but looked just a bit too smug. She knew something I didn't. She had to. "But I never tried it on my own. I saw enough drunk ponies to make me not want that."

"Smart filly." Evening smiled at me again. "I will have to talk to the doctor about this, but don't you worry none. Also, I have a surprise for you, sweetie."

Oh god.

"We found your sister. She's waiting to see you whenever you're ready.”

Well fuck. This is it. If my sister was actually here, she could easily unravel the web of lies I had just spun. I doubt Evening would lie about there being a sister, and it would make sense somebody had seen me jump onto the train.

Which meant this body existed before me.

And I had no idea what happened to the consciousness who originally owned the body.

“Would you like the nurse to be with you when your sister comes in?” Evening asked.

I nodded wordlessly, and that was it. She disappeared, and was soon replaced by Nurse Sweetheart, who took a seat next to me on the floor, on the side of the bed facing the door.

“Nurse Redheart is bringing her in.” Sweetheart smiled. “Eager to see your sister again?”

Eager wasn’t the word I’d use to describe my current feeling. I had a big ball of anxiety gnawing at my insides. Not only would this sister definitely undo all my lies, and as a result get me in some sort of trouble, but I knew nothing about her. I don’t know what kind of relationship we had. I had ended up off the train, so she could have thrown me. Or I could have jumped to get away from her. But now here I was, faking a smile while waiting for this mysterious pony that would impact my immediate future in a drastic way.

Even with all that, some part of me was actually looking forward to seeing her. Some small, naïve part of me in the back of my mind affiliated “sister” with safety. This was weird, as I’d never had a sister, and my brother, even though I loved him, wasn’t exactly somebody I’d affiliate with a protector.

I ended up smelling my sister before I saw her. The smell of smoke and ozone, rapidly growing stronger and closer, chased away that feeling of safety, and I began feeling my skin start to crawl. I tried to logic that she was a kirin, and had some sort of freaky flame abilities, so the smoke didn’t mean I was in danger, but it didn’t help. The smell of smoke was everywhere, even though the room lacked any actual smoke, and it assaulted my nose. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as the smell attacked my nose, and found myself hyperventilating uncontrollably.

My eyes still closed, flames danced across my vision, and I started coughing, no longer able to breathe. I found the world around me filled with darkness, the only light coming from a large pile of wooden rubble burning brightly in front of me. I could feel my throat sore from the smoke and screaming, and the tears streaking wildly down my face. The light from the fire and the smoke stung my eyes and I shielded my eyes with a blackened foreleg.

“Sunny!” The room of the hospital flew open and so did my eyes. I only had a moment to spot a much larger Kirin, just as tall as all the adults, with the same color coat as me, but brown eyes and emerald colored scales, before I lost complete control of my body. Against my will, barely able to breathe, much less choke from the apparently invisible smoke, I shut my eyes, threw my forehooves around the nurse next to me, and hid my face in her leg.

It was about the same time as the pathetic voice from back in the forest started screaming.

I had no idea how long it had been. I still had no control of my body, which was currently shaking and sobbing against my will, curled up in the fetal position. The screaming had stopped.

I could vaguely register the feeling of somebody running a brush down my side, which seemed to actually be calming the body down. I felt the body take a deep breath, wipe its eyes, and sit up. And then, with a sudden rush in my head, I was in control of my body again.

“Sunny?” Sweetheart asked from next to me. The first thing I noticed was that she was now wearing bandages around her left foreleg. A pang of guilt shot through me when I realized that was the leg my body had curled around, and last time I had been that nervous I had erupted into flames.

My fear was more or less confirmed when Sweetheart followed my gaze and immediately hid half of her foreleg behind the other.

“Are you…” I managed, my throat sore.

“Oh never mind that.” Sweetheart laughed. “Slipped and fell, clumsy ol’ me.” Her expression became serious. “You want to talk about what happened?”

I sat there quietly for a few moments.

“Can I please have some time alone to think?”

Sweetheart nodded and placed a hoof on my shoulder. “I’ll be right outside. Shout if you need anything.”

And she took her exit I stared back down at my forelegs. Unblackened, still bandaged. What had I seen? I’d had panic attacks before but whatever has just happened was way beyond that. And losing control of my body? What was that about? To make it worse, that voice that was screaming, the same one as right outside the Everfree?

I mean... it was impossible. It had to be! But all the same, I had to find out.

“Uh, hello?” I spoke aloud. “Is there anybody in my head with me?”

The next few moments I didn’t dare to even breathe, and right before I was about to call it quits, and call myself a paranoid idiot, the voice spoke back.

“Uhm, hi.” It responded in a subdued tone. “I’m Sunny Meadows, and you’re in my body. Are you… are you going to hurt me again?”

Me, Myself, and Maybe Someone Else?

I could feel my heart skip a beat and my mind fill with static. I sat there quietly, staring into space and thinking of nothing, until those two words appeared in my mind.

Oh fuck.

And just with that my mind exploded with questions. What was going on? Did I just steal the body of this kid? Were the moments I lose control of my own body her taking back over? How had I even gotten into this situation?

I took a second to pause and think about how Sunny must be feeling.

She was a scared little kid. What would happen if this was my little brother in this situation? What would I ask for-

"Your sister…" I asked aloud. "Has she ever abused you?"

There were several tense moments of silence.

"What does abuse mean?" Sunny finally asked.

"Hurt you, physically or emotionally. Has she ever hit you?"

"Wh- No. Of course not. Why would she do that?" Sunny replied in a stronger tone. "She's my sister, she loves me!"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Then why did you… uh, we, react like that?"

"That's um, kind of a long story." Sunny returned to her quiet tone.

Okay, this little kid is not being abused. That's the big important thing out of the way. Now to figure out what the fuck is happening.

"Uh, okay. Well, that aside…" I paused to think. How do you even start a conversation in this situation? "My name is Jenny. I have no idea how I got here, and had no idea there was another… consciousness in this body. I'm…"

The realization of what I had done to this body felt like a slap in the face when I realized I'd been taking a child along on the adventure. Just in twenty-four hours I could be charged with kidnapping, reckless endangerment, emotionally abusing, assaulting, and drugging a minor. But forget the charges, think of the state of mind this kid must have, having somebody else control her body during all that.

"Jesus, Sunny. I'm really sorry. Uh, I don't exactly know what's going on, but can I make things better?"

I mean I always knew I was not a good person, and kind of an asshole, but this was…

Fuck.

I felt like pure scum.

"You just woke." She replied quietly.

My mind filled with static again.

"I… uh, we? We've been awake for at least an hour."

"No." She spoke in that mysterious, strong, but quiet tone. "Not woke up. Woke."

Well, I hijacked a kid's body, endangered her, and here she was all calm sounding. Maybe I was inhabiting the mind of a crazy person.

“You call yourself Jenny? That’s a strange name.”

Oh alright, that's one way to respond.

"Uh, yeah." I said slowly.

“Why did you hurt us?” Sunny asked, still with a calm tone.

"I…" My words died in my throat. "Pain can be used to overcome fear?"

“Oh. So… whenever we're scared we should hurt ourselves?”

And alarms are ringing. Great.

"No, that's not… uh…" I stammered. "No! That's a terrible idea!"

“Why did you do it then?” Sunny asked in a tone that betrayed nothing but pure curiosity.

"That's… also a long story. Why are you so calm about this? If I had somebody else in my head controlling my body I'd be freaking out."

Sunny hummed softly. "You're not my first imaginary friend."

I think it was about this point a neuron misfired in my brain.

"...What?" I managed after several moments.

Sunny’s hum turned cheerful. “I've had lots of imaginary friends! They all protect me and take care of me! Even if they woke in a bad time!"

"Do... your imaginary friends usually control your body?" I hesitated.

"Of course!" I could feel Sunny's smile somehow. "They started appearing after mom died. Like, there was one that liked being called 'Orange'. He was always joking around and playing pranks. One time he misbehaved and shaved a bit of the tuft of hair at the end of our tail off my sister and made it look like she had a mustache! And then he went away, like the others... And then there wa-"

"Waitwaitwait," I interrupted. "You've had other voices in your head that could do everything I can?"

"Yeah." Sunny replied sadly. "But every time it happened somebody in my family brought me to the village shaman, and she did some sort of magic to me, and they disappeared. I always missed them, but Smoky said it was okay because they weren't real. I hung pictures of them in the front area of our mind room."

I stood still for a few moments trying to process what she said.

"But..." Sunny hesitated. "Maybe Smoky will let me keep you. You're the first imaginary sister I had. The rest were boys and a little too rough and tumble for me."

“What do you mean by ‘mind room?’” I asked stupidly.

"Oh." Sunny replied simply. "One sec."

With another head rush I found myself… well, in a room. I found I could look around, but the body's eyes stayed fixed.

This room had a wooden floor, a table with four chairs, and pink wallpaper. On the wall I had been looking at, there was what looked like one of those old projector screens you'd see in a classroom in middle school or high school. It was showing a POV shot of what I was just seeing through the body's eyes.

The adjacent wall to the left had three framed pictures of different creatures. Two were kirin, one looking just like Sunny with shorter eyelashes, a much shorter mane, and blue eyes. One had a dark orange coat, a dark brown mane, and forest green eyes, also with smaller eyelashes. The other was a frog. In order, the pictures were labeled "Orange", "Melody", and "King".

The other two walls were blank, save the wallpaper, and the ceiling had an expensive looking glass chandelier that looked completely out of place.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"The mind room, silly!" Sunny announced. "And you can watch what our body is doing, see?"

I turned back to the screen to see Sunny looking around the hospital room, then waving the unbroken forearm in front of her eyes.

All I could tell is I felt weak. There was too much to unpack here. I reached out for one of the chairs so I could sit down and catch my breath, just to notice that it wasn't a hoof that touched the chair.

It was a hand. Attached to an arm.

My arm.

I had that one white birthmark that looked kinda like an eight. That was definitely my arm.

I looked down.

I had my body. I had the purple t-shirt and blue jeans I last remembered wearing.

"Ooh, what do you look like?" Sunny asked excitedly. "I can't see when I'm in front."

I quickly sat, holding my head in my hands and struggling to control my breathing.

I wondered if you could throw up in this mind room, and how difficult it would be to clean.

“Are you okay Jenny?”

"Am… wh-" I wheezed. "Am I okay? Is this fucking normal for you!?"

"Hey, don't swear!" Sunny protested. "Smoky hates that! And no. Normally I'd have… Orange… and King."

Watching through the screen I could see tears start to appear in her eyes.

Dammit, the tears of children. My one weakness.

"Woah woah, hey." I interrupted. "I didn't mean to make you sa-"

I felt another rush as I found myself out of the room, and back in control of her body.

"Sunny?" I called out. "...Sunny?"

No response.

Okay, she was either gone for now or ignoring me. So… different people, or kirin, or whatever, all in one head, all able to control the body. All distinct personalities.

I had a feeling I might know what this was. And if I was right, I was in way over my head. Not only was it me, a jaded asshole with a slight drinking issue in the body of this little girl, but she already seemed to trust me. And if the other… identities were already removed, then that means…

I hit the call nurse button.

"Dissociative Identity Disorder?" Sweetheart repeated slowly. "What do you know about that?"

"I know that I'm a danger to Sunny, and that's the only important thing."

Author's Note

Co-written with Absentialucci.

A Chance Meeting

Author's Note

Heeeyyy, I did that thing where I don't post anything for two months and stop existing again, didn't I?

Feel free to call me out on that.

Anyway, since I did that, I'm posting this chapter two days early. Hope you enjoy!

A Chance Meeting

"...So?" I asked quietly, rubbing the back of my neck with the side of my forearm.

Evening Glow paused, still processing what I had told her.

After I had spoken to Sweetheart, she all but dragged Evening Glow back, to see what she made of the whole Dissociative Identity Disorder diagnosis. While at first I could tell she was trying to hide a bit of a scowl, she looked more and more interested as I explained the circumstances.

"Well…" Glow pursed her lips. "It does sound like a pretty textbook DiD case. If you don't mind, I have some follow up questions."

"Of course." My lips grew thin.

"I'd like you to describe again what you first remember."

I thought back.

"A train whistle and a pain in my arm."

"Arm?" Evening Glow raised an eyebrow.

I suppressed an eye roll. Stupid horse terminology.

"Foreleg." I corrected myself. "Then I opened my eyes, figured out my leg was broken, and carried my dumb ass into the forest."

"You don't have any memories or something of a previous traumatic event?"

"Well if you don't count jumping off a train as a traumatic event, then no."

"Well." Evening Glow trailed off. "I suppose that's why you didn't know what the Stream of Silence was."

I gave off a sheepish grin. "Not a prohibition event?"

Evening Glow gave me a small smile. "No. But I am curious how such a young filly knows such a word."

I guess it makes sense ponies never had to have an alcohol prohibition, bu- Oh god did ponies even have alcohol?!

I mean, even if they did… could I really ever hope to get some? I mean sure, I was an adult, but I was also in the body of a child. And I didn’t want her to be introduced to alcohol at such a young age, I know exactly how much that can screw somebody else up.

She was young and vulnerable. I had to protect her. But at the same time…

At the same time I'm getting completely off track.

"Yeah, so here's the thing…" I trailed off. "I'm not exactly sure how old Sunny is, since I don't have any memories before like, yesterday, but I'm pretty sure I'm almost double her age."

The mare's eyebrows shot up.

"Yeah," I continued. "I have two decades worth of memories. Pretty sure she's younger than that."

"That'd be a fair assumption." Evening Glow's muzzle twitched. "But how can you remember that long if Sunny is not even that old?"

"Well, here's the kicker…" I paused. How do you tell a pony you're a human? Humans don't exist in the show, at least from what I've seen. Would I be blown off as being something the psychologist had never heard of?

But I knew I knew I should tell the truth. That was the only way to really help Sunny.

And then again, the show had both Cerberus from Greek mythology, and a giant Ahuizotl from… Mayan, I think, mythology. Maybe a human wasn't that crazy.

"Have you ever heard of human beings?" I finally finished.

Evening Glow's mouth grew thin and I gulped nervously.

"They went extinct Celestia-knows how long ago."

I froze as a shiver ran up my spine. I opened my mouth but no sound came out.

"Are you saying you remember being a human, Jenny?" Evening Glow chewed on her lip.

I nodded mutely.

Humans were real? And extinct? What if I had been teleported forward thousands or millions of years, and had found myself in t-

Wait no, that was utterly ridiculous.

"So now that we're being honest, Jenny." Evening's face relaxed a tad. "Is there something you want to tell me? Something to help both you and Sunny?"

Tell her? No, I had about a million questions though. Lik-

Oh.

We're back to that.

I could keep denying it. Play dumb.

I'd probably get caught in another lie. And I had Sunny to worry about now. I mean… I'd probably not be in trouble, but forced to get help.

But I didn't want to detox. I didn't want to quit drinking. It's what kept me going.

Sunny complicated everything.

I could either tell the truth for her safety, or lie and handle things on my own. I was definitely more used to the latter option.

Lying was safe. Besides, what did I care about this stupid kid? Telling the truth only would get me in trouble.

She needed an answer.

"...Yes." I spoke quietly. "You were right, I'm an alcoholic."

The psychiatrist didn't respond how I expected. I expected her to chew me out, or call in the nurse, or even tell me she was putting me on some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous thing. But she didn't.

She kept asking about substance abuse Sunny might have seen. Maybe her father was an alcoholic and that led to me being who I am.

Problem is that normal cases of DiD didn't involve other already existing beings latching onto the brains of other beings. An "alter", as the psychiatrist called it, was a fragmented bit of psyche, that became an individual.

What was happening to Sunny and me, although it seemed closest to DiD, was something altogether different that Evening Glow wasn't fully understanding. Not that I could blame her, I couldn't understand either.

"No." I repeated. "All I can get is that she loves her sister, but nothing about the rest of her family. If she's awake or whatever she's ignoring any questions and hiding."

The only response I received was a frown.

"You don't believe me." I stated, staring straight into her eyes.

"No, I do. I believe you're an alter, and you… identify as a human."

I hated that word in this context. Identify. You either are or aren't something. There's no halfway in between. Life is black and white.

"So… what now?"

"Well, I will update the staff on this, then my job here will come to a close and the hospital staff take back over. I do believe the family who rescued you wanted to visit you tomorrow, though."

"Oh." I hummed. "That's nice of them."

Evening Glow nodded. "With that, I'll see about what I can do for you. Until then, I'll turn you back over to Nurse Sweetheart."

And so it was that she left and the nurse returned.

Turns out they had no more plans for me, at least for that day. It was actually after lights out, and Sweetheart's shift had ended. She was staying late for me.

Another pang of guilt shot through me and I lowered my gaze to the floor, which just made the desire to find another bottle to lose myself in that much stronger.

I nearly jumped when I felt her hoof lay over my shoulder. I know in my world nurses weren't supposed to lay a hand on a child patient they weren't giving care to without a parent in the room, but… eh, ponies and no parents. Extenuating circumstances.

"There's no reason to feel guilty." Sweetheart gifted me a kind smile. "I didn't have to stay after, you were just worth making sure you were okay."

Well that's… nice.

"I'm off for the night now. If you need anymore help, the nightshift is here and will get you anything you need." She continued, taking her hoof off me. "You don't have to have a nurse watch you if you're just using the bathroom, if you think you can manage it alone. Do you need anything before I leave?"

I took a quick look around the room, my gaze settling on a nearby lamp. How the hell do those work with hooves?

"Could you turn that on?" I asked meekly.

Sweetheart gave me a tired smile and flicked the lamp on. "Good night Sunny." She whispered.

And then a moment later the door was closed and she was out of sight.

Well, it was no doubt extremely late, but my mind was still buzzing, and I was unwilling to be alone with thoughts. Without a bottle or some drug to make everything okay, there was only one solution.

I turned back to the book on the nightstand. Earlier, they'd put my broken leg in one of those arm casts so I couldn't really do much with it. And since I didn't have a good grasp on hoof magic, I couldn't just pick it up.

I stretched out my good foreleg and looked at it. The bandaging was thick, and went up to, and past the elbow, so I kind of had to twist both a fully outstretched foreleg and my head to get a decent look at the underside of the hoof.

I didn't know what I was expecting. It looked like a horse's hoof, just cartoon. There was an indented portion where the soft part --the frog, I think it was called-- was. Unlike horses, though, it was completely clean and dirt free. There were no extra long hairs or anything grabby to indicate how to pick things up. There didn't feel like magical magnets anywhere in the hoof.

So I guess I was stuck flailing my hoof around like an idiotic amputee.

Joy.

Channeling the inner asshole feline everybody has, I knocked the book off the nightstand beside me with the side of my hoof.

The cover was definitely that Daring Do story, but the cover was a hardcover without any words, just the picture of Daring on the vine.

Now let's see… any and all limbs were out of the picture, so how do I open the book and turn pages? I suppose I could try my tail, if I could figure out how to move it. I turned my head, and frustrated myself for a minute trying every possible combination of flexing butt muscles to move it. I thought I saw it twitch to the side while clenching the left cheek, but ultimately gave up.

I groaned and planted my face into the book. That's about when I realized I was a giant idiot. I flicked the cover open with my nose. It opened easily. Facing the dilemma of not being able to express myself with a facepalm, I decided groaning loudly was the best idea.

"Jenny you fucking goddamn idiot." I swore at myself.

Myself didn't respond.

I impatiently flicked several pages until I landed on what looked like the first chapter, and got set for reading.

It took me several moments of blankly staring at the page in front of me before my brain decided to make me faceplant into the bed again.

The book was in a foreign language. Not just a foreign language, one I had never seen before. It definitely looked like one of the Asian languages, kinda like a mixture between the unique style of Korean characters, and the blocky, simplified characters of the first script of Japanese.

Problem was that I could both read Japanese and a small bit of Korean, and I couldn't make heads or tails of a single character on the page. I flipped through a few more pages, and the result was the same.

With a huff, I pushed the book off the bed and flopped onto my back.

"Sunny?" I ventured. No response.

No TV. No books that I could understand. Nothing to entertain me.

Flinging the book off the bed did bring me some brief joy, I just had to imagine it was one of overpriced textbooks. But with that, I was back at square zero.

I wonder what those ponies that are coming to see me tomorrow are like? Something Script and… that's all I got. Apparently rescued me from inside a blaze, so likely a hero type.

I did a messy job tucking myself in with my mouth, and slowly drifted into a dreamless slumber, wondering where my life was going next.

I found myself staring at the new pony. She had light green fur, and a short, deep purple mane I could only describe as a punk pixiehawk with frosted tips. At first it was an eyesore, but the more I looked, the cuter it looked. Her butt tattoo was a rolled up scroll with two quills crossed in front of it.

"Well hey there, Sunny," she simpered, adopting that stupid high pitch tone some adults take with kids. "I'm Penny Silvan, but all my friends call me Pen. How are you this morning?"

"You're the social worker?" I guessed. If she was, that probably meant the family that found me was waiting to meet me.

A hint of a frown appeared on her face. "Well guessed there, little one. Bit of a firecracker too, eh?" She winked.

Why don't you take that stupid attitude, roll it up, and shove it wh-

"Only got so many hours in this life." I replied flatly. "Can't waste time. What are you here for?"

Pen seemed a bit put out by me. "You woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, huh? Something eating at you?"

I resisted rolling my eyes. "No, I just slept bad and am a travesty on first impressions."

Pen opened her mouth, but no words came out. She smartly shut it for a moment, then returned to a normal tone.

"The family who found you is here to see you. I'm just here to make sure everything goes peachy."

Should I feel bad for being a dick to her? Probably. Did I care? No. I had woken up again for the second time as a different species in a different world, had two useless arms, and was a damned kid again. Excuse me for being in a bad mood.

Plus, try getting comfortable in bed when you can't bend your arms. Or forelegs, whatever. It sucks. Sleep didn't come as easily when sober, much less a fucked up quadruped.

"Sounds mint." I replied dryly. I was met with a confused look. "Sounds good." I corrected myself with a sigh, resisting the urge to roll my eyes again.

"Alright, I'm going to bring them in." She winked, adopting the annoying high pitched tone again. "Don't go anywhere!"

I waved my forelegs. "Couldn't if I wanted to."

It wasn't long until she returned. A minute or two. I was busy re-arranging my position against the pillow and trying not to sit on my tail, which was harder than it sounds, when there was a knock on the door.

"Occupied!" I called out. I heard a snicker from the other side of the door. As the door opened, I spotted four ponies. Two mares, a stallion, and a foal.

The first mare was of course, the social worker. The other mare had a yellow coat, green eyes, and curly orange hair. She was an Earth Pony and had carrots stamped on her ass. The stallion, a unicorn, had a gray coat, a purple mane, the same green eyes, and an open scroll as his butt mark. Maybe he and the social worker were related.

And then there was the foal. Judging by the shape of the snout, a filly. Same color coat as her mom, and kind of a two-toned mane. Sand colored, and then just a lighter shade. Her eyes were purple and she had no cutie mark. She stared up at me with big eyes, mouth apage, then turned to her mom.

"Mom, this isn't the same pony!" She squeaked.

"Yes it is, honey." The mare spoke back.

The filly looked back at me, then back at her mom. "Nuh-uh, that pony was all black and cool. This one looks lame."

"Noi! Be nice!" The mare admonished, pulling the filly back and hiding her behind her forelegs. She then turned to face me. "I am so sorry about that. I'm Golden Harvest, this is my husband, Written Script-" she nodded to the stallion, who gave me an unsure smile. "-and this troublemaker is Noi." She motioned toward the filly, who gave a sheepish grin.

"I'm…" I paused. How should I introduce myself here? They'd probably know me as Sunny, and I doubt they'd been informed of the full DiD situation if they were just visiting.

Ah, fuck it.

"Jenny." I finished. "I'm Jenny."

There were several moments as Golden and I quietly stared at each other, and just as she was opening her mouth, Noi piped up from under her.

"Are you from Hell?" She asked innocently.

I almost choked on air.

"Noi!" Golden chimed again, but Noi, unperturbed, continued.

"You were all black and fiery when I saw you. Are you part Hellhound?"

I bit my lip as a smile crept up on me.

"Yes, and do you know a Hellhound's favorite meal?" I crept closer, fixing her with an unblinking stare. "Little. Pony. Foals."

She let out a mad giggle and jumped forward at me. "I'm not scared of you! You're a little foal too!"

"Oh yeah," I replied nonchalantly. "I was already eaten."

"Wh-" Both of her ears flopped sideways.

"Don't think about it too hard, shorty." I grinned.

I looked up to see a sweet smile affixed on both Golden's and Script's faces.

"You two are gonna get along famously." Golden chirped.

I blinked.

“Wait, what?”

Development

I glanced over to the social worker, who was clearly trying to hide a frown.

"The family was intending to visit you more than once." She tried.

Yeah, right. I'd bet my broke-ass leg that they were playing at something.

"Where's Smokey?" I asked.

"She unfortunately couldn't make it." The social worker fibbed.

"I hope she's okay!" Came Sunny's voice, making me jump. I had almost forgotten she was there.

"She's probably fine. The staff are most likely trying to create a narrative since they don't trust you and her together right now." I thought back. Not speaking out loud, I wasn't sure she could hear me, and after a moment of silence I ruled that she'd either gotten quiet again… or I needed to speak out loud for her to understand.

Meanwhile, everyone in the room was looking at me.

"Well." I cleared my throat. "Welcome to my humble abode. I've put on my Sunday finest just for you."

The social worker and Golden chuckled, but Script and Noi just looked at me in confusion.

"But you're not wearing anything." Script said, his voice deep and strong.

"That's… the joke." I faked a smile.

There was a pregnant silence.

"You're weird." Noi announced, one ear up, the other sideways. She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Hey! You little rascal!" Golden nudged Noi again. Noi turned on her mom.

"Well, she is!"

"Hey, I ain't in denial about it." I shrugged. "But I did want to thank you all for saving me. I hope none of you got hurt or anything."

Yeah, that'd be just what I needed, start my life here with a history of burning those who try and help me.

I turned expectantly to Script, who was staring at me blankly. He matched my gaze, blinked twice, looked between Golden, then back to me, and shook his head.

"We all came out unscathed." He reported.

"Oh," Golden interrupted. "That means-"

"Without injury." I interrupted a bit too quickly. "Right. Got it. Well, that's good."

The pregnant silence lasted longer and quickly went into labor as we all looked at each other.

"What happened to your forelegs?" Noi asked, wiggling away from her mom and jumping on the foot of the bed to get a better look at me.

See, I could tell the truth. All the adults probably knew the truth. But Noi? I wasn't the biggest fan of kids, but hey, I could at least use an eager audience for my tale of woes.

Plus, being overdramatic was fun with kids.

"So there I was in the middle of nowhere." I began. "Between the town and me was a Manticore almost as big as this room! But I wasn't gonna let that stop me. I'd told my sister I was gonna meet her here, and I wasn't about to be later than her."

It had taken nearly half an hour to recount my totally true tale, even acting out some of the more interesting parts with Noi acting as the Manticore. In the end, I have to confess I was having a lot of fun. The family, who had a lot of errands to run that day, had to almost pull Noi away from me. Safe to say I'd grown on her a bit.

As I watched her carried out of the room, sitting on Script's back and sadly waving at me, my attention was brought back to the social worker. I'd honestly forgotten she was there. The same sweet smile that was shown on the parents face was mirrored on hers.

"So." I started.

"Yes?" She arched an eyebrow.

"You're not telling me something, and are not the best liar." I stated matter-of-factly.

She grimaced. "You're a sharp one."

"Yes." I spoke curtly. "And you're trying to engineer a situation. What does that family know that I don't? And why are you stopping Smokey from seeing me?"

Wait, if Smokey had shown up in the hospital, then they'd already definitely have interviewed her. They now probably knew something I didn't. Or they were solely basing their trepidation on our last interaction. Yeah, that'd be fair. But I'm guessing she, the social worker, and possibly Sunny all knew something I didn't.

God, I hate being the only one in the dark.

But judging on what Golden said and how Penny reacted when I called attention to it…

"Are you trying to set up a foster care scenario?" I asked quickly.

Penny and I kept silent eye contact for a moment before she responded.

"The reunion between your sister and you worried us." She admitted. "And she's not of legal age to take care of you. She has another year until then."

I felt like I was on the verge of discovering something big.

"What about Sunny's parents?"

An unrecognizable expression flashed across her face.

"That's probably something Sunny should tell you herself." She responded quietly.

The fuck kinda quack leaves a little girl to break the bad news? Either this mare deserved some negative evals in her record, or… what, Sunny herself did something bad she was supposed to be guilty about? Yeah fucking right, she's a little kid.

"Or, crazy idea here, but bear with me." I snarked. "You could just tell me, and not leave this bombshell on a child."

"Er, what's a bombshell?" Penny's ears perked.

Goddamn motherf-

"Revelation." I answered curtly.

"They're out of the picture." Was her steely response.

Great, so abusive or dead. Not so hard, is it?

"Sunny would want to stay with her sister and not a random family."

Penny sat on that information for a moment.

"And you?"

"I'm like, just over a day old. I'm not qualified to have an opinion." I shrugged.

"It still impacts your future. Where would you prefer to be?"

"In my old life. Where I was my own person and had my own body."

That seemed to strike Penny speechless, which was nice for a few moments.

"If you tell me about your… old life, I could look into a situation like that." She offered.

"I lived in my house with my girlfriend and cat. Can you find a setup just like that?" I replied sarcastically.

"Well, we could find a family with a cat if you'd like that." She offered weakly.

I wished she would go back to being speechless.

"Could I maybe speak to Sunny?" She tried.

"Sunny?" I spoke aloud.

"I'm here." She replied. "Do you want me to take over?"

"Yes." I nodded as the social worker looked on in confusion.

A familiar, brief dizzy spell, and I was back in the "mind room".

"Hello, miss." I heard our voice say. God, that was gonna take time to get used to.

The nurse took a moment to adjust to the shift in mannerisms before talking.

"Hello Sunny. As I was just telling your… your sister here, since you and Smokey are both minors, she can't quite take care of you yet."

Woah, me as her sister? Slow down, I didn't sign up to take care of another rotten little crotch goblin. My one sibling was well enough. I just wanted to separate from this kid and… well, what could I really do in this world?

"Yes, I heard everything." Sunny replied quietly. "Can I, um, if I have to be taken in by somebody, also be with my sister?"

"Well… there's a problem with that, dearie. Two, actually. Golden and Script don't think they can support three children, and my coworkers and I have some concerns about you living with her, after both talking to her and the almost Post Traumatic Stress reaction you had when you saw her." Penny's ears flopped down. I couldn't tell if it was a fake reaction or not. Probably not, and she was just trying to manipulate the kid. "When your sister is old enough we can discuss changing custody, though."

"Oh." Sunny slowly replied. Her voice even softer. "Okay."

"Don't just take it if you don't want it." I ordered. "Fight back! Bare your teeth! I'm sure there are other foster families."

"I don't want to cause any issues." Sunny replied in our head. "Besides, they seem nice. And I always wanted a younger sister."

I sighed and massaged the bridge of my nose. At least my arms worked in the head. That was nice.

"It's your life. Your choice."

The rest of the stay passed slowly. Sunny spent a lot of the time hiding, only really taking over when it was time to eat or use the bathroom, as I was still having problems moving the body how I wanted. She seemed to be growing more comfortable with me and our situation when she talked, but I found myself getting more and more nervous each day.

This wasn't my world. Wasn't my body. Wasn't my fight. The kid would be taken care of, which was good for her, but I had left everything in my life behind. I couldn't just… restart my life. Not after I had fought so hard to get where I was in life. Thousands of hours of training, studying, and fighting tooth and nail all going to waste?

And shit, what about all those who I loved? If I was in a parallel universe or something, my dad, my girlfriend, my brother… they could all be alive, and wondering what happened to me. Maybe they assumed the worst.

Or maybe this was the future, and I got magically shazam'd here. That would mean everyone I knew… everyone I loved… was long dead.

Even that's assuming the life I remembered was real, and I didn't make it up. That would make the most sense, honestly. It would maybe explain how the world I thought was a cartoon was now real.

What if my world was the fake one?

That led me up to me, in my last night in the hospital, furiously hiding back a panic as I hit the button to call Nurse Sweetheart. Sunny was dormant, and I was rocking back and forth on the bed.

"Sunny or Jenny?" She asked as we locked eyes.

"Listen." I ignored her question, speaking quickly. "Sunny is going to be set up for a good future. She's gonna be fine. You have to get rid of me forever, right now."

The Next Chapter (of Life)

Nurse Sweetheart made a big deal of clutching at her chest and gasping.

"Beg pardon?!"

"Oh don't be so melodramatic." I snapped. "I have no pity for you if you never saw this coming. This isn't my world, isn't my fight, and I think we can both tell I'm not a good role model for a traumatized child like Sunny. You'd be doing us both good."

"Well I can't… can't do that!" Sweetheart stumbled over her words.

"Can't, or won't?"

"Well, both!" Sweetheart stood up a little taller. "How can you… I.. I'm not even…"

Two days ago they had changed the bandages on my not-broken foreleg, so I was able to rub the bridge of my nose in irritation while I waited for her to figure out what to say.

Sweetheart took several deep steadying breaths and met my eyes. I'm guessing she hadn't dealt with anything like this before, because I know nurses were trained to be professional and not overreact like she just did.

Stupid utopic world.

"Jenny, dear, are you suicidal?"

That threw me for a loop. That was not in the script I formulated for this conversation. She was supposed to stubbornly insist I stay until I eventually got her to agree to look into the matter.

I paused for a moment to think of my response.

"If I say 'no' will that increase my chances of getting removed?"

Sweetheart took a moment to compose herself.

"Why do you want to be 'removed', sweetie?"

I wanted to reply with something sarcastic or scathing, but one look into her eyes stopped me in my tracks. She'd done nothing but do her best to help me since I first woke up in the hospital, even staying overtime after I burned her.

I couldn't.

All my tact and cunning failed me all at once.

"I uh…" I stammered, my mind not filtering my words out in time. "Don't deserve another chance."

A couple hours later, Golden, Script, and Noi came to pick me up. Sunny had finally agreed to the foster care with them, not even daring to ask about other options, much to my chagrin.

I get that Sunny was young, but she was far too timid. She did remind me a bit of Fluttershy, but she never seemed to be scared around new ponies. In fact, I may just have been imagining things, but it seemed most times when she hid, it was to avoid some sort of confrontation. Perhaps predictably, most often with me. When she'd try to slink away, I'd often tell her to stand her ground, grab life by the horns and skullfuck it until it gives in (she protested my language right after), and that nobody famous ever got to where they were by flinching at their foes.

She also seemed terrified of making anybody upset or hurting their feelings. Maybe that was just her being a shy little girl, though.

Or then again, maybe not. Little kids have no social filters and are usually assholes because of that.

Nevertheless, I met up with the family, Script and Golden all smiles, while Noi was babbling on about a comic book or something.

And soon enough I was discharged and checked out of the hospital. Golden was handed some pain pills I could use that wouldn't get me high, and another copy of "the pamphlet", because Noi tore up the last one to use as paper-mache. I'm guessing "the pamphlet" was a bunch of do's and don'ts in taking proper care of me and Sunny. Probably filled with a bunch of bullshit that wouldn't make a difference.

"So, off we go." Golden gave me a smile as we neared the exit. "Anything else you want to ask while we're here? Or to get before we go home?"

There was one thing that would completely change my experience with foster care. One thing that could make or break my future here.

"Do y'all have a dog?"

They didn't.

That might be for the best, considering I never liked ankle biters and I was a bit too small for much bigger. Sure, I could probably grow into the size, but I have an unfortunately clear memory of the last time I was around a bigger dog and about the same size.

I was eight or nine at my grandmother's house, hanging by the outside of her pool. That's when her giant living cotton ball "Angel" decided to hold me down and dry hump me until my mom pulled him off.

I never really liked Samoyeds after that.

So yeah, probably a good thing there weren't any dogs.

There was, however, a large fish tank in Noi's room. Well… I guess our room now. There were fish of all size and color, and the fish tank alone took up half the wall. It had lights going on all the time, because apparently, as Noi admitted to me while wildly embarrassed, she's still "a little scared of the dark".

The rest of the house was frankly uninteresting. There were a lot of family photographs and the only real thing of note was everything was a lot lower to the ground than you'd find in a human house. The ceiling was probably just six feet off the ground.

The kitchen was painted that typical, boring cross of yellow and tan. It had marbled countertops and a kitchen island that apparently doubled as a dinner table. The room was vaguely shaped like a horseshoe.

On the other side of the right wall in the kitchen was the living room. Tiled floors made way for a dark blue carpet. They had one of those couches that had a ninety degree angle to it, and it looked like it was made with leather. Considering cows were sentient in this world, if I was remembering right, at least, I figured it was probably something else. On the far side was a bookcase and a lamp with a dull shade.

To the left of the living room was a hallway running parallel with the kitchen. There were three doors. One in the middle, which led to a bathroom. The doors on each other side led to the bedrooms.

Our room was painted purple, and somebody had stuck a bunch of those glow-in-the-dark stars to the ceiling. Which sucked, because I forgot to mention we were set up with bunk beds. Noi had claimed the bottom one, and refused to be talked out of it.

Turns out neither of us were fans of heights. So I had that, and the stupid stars right over me.

I could almost reach out and touch the ceiling.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I was ungrateful for being taken in. It was a hell lot better than being homeless, but it was just… so fast. Besides, I didn't know these ponies that well, had really only talked to Script and had already been getting weird vibes from Golden. Also, I was now living with a little kid.

I may have already mentioned that I don't like kids.

I chewed at my lip as I stared at the fish tank in front of me. I did my best to amuse myself by watching a large dark blue fish swim lazily around.

The day so far had been busy, but not terribly interesting. After we had left the hospital, they took me around, got me ice cream, showed me some of the hallmarks of the town, most of which I had already seen from the show. I think the only two I hadn't seen were a giant crystal… thing, which I figured was an embassy of some sort, and Barnyard Bargains, which was just like a regular store or commissary. Golden insisted on buying me something there, so I got a small candy bar.

I was too embarrassed about not being able to read, so I didn't ask if it had nuts.

It did.

Ew.

Then as the sun started to set, everyone started heading back to their homes like clockwork. That's when I was introduced to the new house I was staying at.

It wasn't much to look at. Had the same tan paint on the outside as most of the town. Had a flower garden on each side of the doorway, and a meager backyard, one that looked far too small for a growing child. Much less two.

The house itself I'd say was pretty cozy.

But that wasn't the problem. None of that was the problem. Everything was too simple. It fit together too well. I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall. I mean sure, there was no TV. No electronics. No access to my three thousand song-strong playlist. Nothing I could actually read. The only living beings near me were two little kids, a socially awkward male, and Golden, who was giving off all these weird vibes to me.

No, none of that was the main issue.

The main issue was I was already fitting in too well.

Nobody had instantly come to ogle at the freakish new resident of the town. I wasn't told I had to go join the school and stick out like a sore thumb, because in a few days I had somebody coming over to give me a sort of placement test. To see if I needed additional help, what grade I should be stuck in, ect. None of the members of the new foster family brought in any outsiders to show off the new exotic species living with them, or to show off how good of ponies they are for fostering.

Everything was too easy. And it freaked me out.

Of course that had to change.

After keeping us busy for most of the day, Golden roped us into "a walk". As if the poorly hidden smile didn't tip me enough, it wasn't the best idea to needlessly walk around with the current state my forelegs were in. So yeah, I could tell she was playing at something.

My suspicion was furthered when Script carried me along his back. They led us across the main part of the town, stopping us in front of Sugarcube Corner. As Golden and Script took their leave for a moment, I let out a long sigh, figuring I knew exactly what was coming next.

“What do you think they’re getting ready for us?” Noi wondered aloud.

“Probably for some stupid sh- stupid welcoming party.” I rolled my eyes, deciding to get it over with and pulling the door open.

BANG

I instinctively threw myself backwards and covered my ears with my forelegs, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. My world instantly filled with a sharp ringing in both my ears, drowning out every other sound.

“...I mean I could have guessed considering you look kind of like a deer, but this is the normal setting I use for ponies, I didn’t know Kirin had sharper hearing!”

Great, not only do I have oversensitive hearing, I just came face to face with the last character I wanted to meet. Pinkie Pie.

“How about you try not detonating a cannon in my ****ing face?” I snarled, jumping to all four hooves and forgetting completely about the whole ‘no swearing’ thing I was trying to do for Sunny.

My swear was covered by a bleep. A cartoon bleep. What the…

“Hey now, we gotta keep Ponyville TV-Y!” Pinkie chirped. “Ooh, can you do that thing again?!”

“Wha… what thing?” I managed to ask stupidly after a few moments.

“Ooh!” Pinkie started pronking in place. “Where your eyes went all white and your eyebrows caught fire and you grew fangs! It looked super cute!”

I stared at Pinkie for a few moments, who kept a giant grin aimed at me, looking at me with her giant, unblinking eyes while bouncing around.

“...No.” I responded, walking past her into the building, not looking back to see how she reacted. The less I saw of Pinkie, the better. It's not like I especially disliked her character, but right now I needed quiet and time to figure out exactly what was going on, and not a loud, annoying party. I was too sober for that.

The other thing was… what if she wasn't how I remembered her from the show? What if I never had been human, and maybe Sunny had seen her in a magazine or newspaper and that's how I knew of her and her crazy nature? If I was completely wrong about who she was, my memory of her, and feasibly my entire life as a human could have been made up. That kind of revelation wasn't worth meeting my fifth favorite member of the main cast.

I noticed a shocked silence as everyone in the building, a bunch of characters I didn't recognize, watched me silently. And then there was another loud boom as the party cannon went off again, and they got back into the party mood.

"Hey, new girl, wait up!" A voice called out from behind me.

I turned to find myself facing a familiar sight. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

Oh boy, time to fuck with some bullies, hell yeah. I could make time for that any day. The perfect pick me up for this shitty week.

"Oh, hi there." Diamond smiled. "You must be the new filly everyone's talking about. Sunny, right? Welcome to Ponyville."

Alright, playing by different tactics now, huh? I can dig it. Try me, kid.

I said nothing, merely arching an eyebrow and looking at her with a disinterested face.

As a few moments passed, the smile slipped off Diamond's face, and she furrowed her brows.

"Um, hello? Can you not hear me?"

I didn't respond.

Silver Spoon pursed her lips from behind Diamond and whispered something into her ear. Diamond tensed up.

"Oh, um, did you hear some bad things about me or something?"

Bingo.

I smiled and nodded. Diamond's face fell dramatically.

"Yeah, I guess I kind of deserve that. But I am trying to turn over a new leaf."

I let out a loud chuckle.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I've heard that before."

Diamond's gaze fell to the ground and I instantly was hit by a wave of nervousness. What if she was actually telling the truth?

"Diamond Tiara!" An excited voice rang out from the other side of the room. "You gotta try the cupcakes! Applebloom didn't burn them this year!"

Diamond Tiara gave off a weak chuckle and turned to walk in the direction of the voice. "I guess that's my cue. Uhm... so even if you don't like me, I hope you can make some friends here. I'd imagine a lot of ponies would like to get to know the filly who can magically burst into flames."

There was a sudden gasp from right behind me.

"Wait, did I hear that right? You can magically burst into flames?" a familiar voice sounded out.

I turned to find myself face to face with a white unicorn filly with a giant smile, pink and purple curls for a mane.

Y'know, it might be kind of sad, but the first thing I felt was indignation upon seeing her.

Sweetie Belle was taller than me.

"Can you really do it?" Sweetie asked excitedly.

"Er, yes. I can." I answered hesitantly.

"Ohmygosh!" Sweetie spouted happily. "Do it! Do it! Doitdoitdoitdoit!"

"I um..." I stepped back slowly. "Can't just do it on command. I need to be angry or scared."

"Oh," the look of excitement immediately faded from her face. "I don't like scaring or angering ponies. Sorry."

She turned around to leave, and instead of feeling guilty at her sadness, or noting how cute she looked while sad, I was instead distracted by a certain shield of three colors on her flank.

She had her cutie mark.

What the fuck?

I glanced around her, there was the tomboy fangirl filly too, with almost the same cutie mark. A shield with three colors.

How long has it been since I stopped watching the show? The Crusaders already had their cutie marks? Diamond Tiara wasn't a bully?

I was again swamped with a feeling of doubt. What if my memories were fake? Humans were a mythological species, I was in the body of an almost-pony, and there's no evidence my life was anything but a lie, save the fact that I recognized some characters.

The once friendly atmosphere of the party started feeling more and more like a prison, the countless nameless ponies bearing down on me.

They squeezed in closer, pushing against me, squeezing the breath out of my lungs.

Breathe, Jenny. You're okay. It's just anxiety.

I silently cursed at myself as I stumbled to the side.

"Too… many… ponies…" came the quiet voice of Sunny. "I really really don't like small spaces. We have to get out. Now."

But the countless, faceless bodies didn't let me escape. Their bodies melted together, making an unstoppable wall I couldn't pass.

A shiver sped down my spine as the world blurred around me. I tried to focus on something, anything that wasn't pink, but everywhere I looked, she seemed everywhere. And the noise. The goddamned noise! I tried to shield my ears from the thumping that sped faster and faster, but covering my ears made it worse! I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I shut my eyes and screamed just for something, anything to stop!

And then... everything did.

My lungs begged for air as I found my breath again. I risked opening my eyes and the party was gone. It looked like I was in a bedroom, but I didn't recognize it.

"Oh, hey! You're back!"

"Gah!" I must have cleared four straight feet as I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Oops!" Pinkie giggled, but it was quieter than I remember. "Sorry, that must've been a bad scare. I'll try to be more careful next time, which is now! Hello, welcome back to the party! I brought you a cupcake."

For sure, she was holding out a cupcake with blue frosting to me, a familiar manic grin on her face.

"...thanks?"

"No problem, Sunny. Are you feeling better? I hope you're feeling better. You went kind of funny there, but not haha-funny, but funny-uh oh."

How in the goddamn do you even respond to that?

"If I had known you were claustrophobic or had sensitive hearing I would have changed up the party. I'm really sorry I scared you." Her exuberance all died at once, and as I took the cupcake she resorted to staring at her hooves, her mane and tail even looking more deflated.

"I…" The words died on my tongue. She was acting off. She wasn't talking way too fast, or jumping around, or being her normal annoying self.

The pony in front of me seemed calm, sad, but calm. But Pinkie didn't calm down.

"Don't worry!" A grin re-appeared on her face. Her whole body perked up. "You wouldn't be the first po- uh, the first creature to run away from her own party. My friend Twilight did the same! We'd love to see you down there if you feel up to it though. If not, there's a staircase out that landing. I'll make sure Written Script will know to look for you there. But if not we can have our own private party! Just the two of us! It's your welcome party, after all!"

Pinkie, having kept a calm tone, then hopped to her hooves, her grin replaced with a kind smile.

No, no this was wrong. Pinkie wasn't understanding. She wasn't a calm, sympathetic mare. She was the living embodiment of mania.

Alarm bells were ringing in my head. She wasn't acting like what I knew, which meant my memories of watching her in the show might be wrong. And if those were false, then I have no control group. All of my memories could be false.

I could just be another alter that imagined humanity. Twenty years of memories could be wrong.

I had to make Pinkie act right. My sanity depended on it.

"You seem awfully calm for a party pony." I interjected. I really hoped Pinkie wasn't the only one who did parties as a job or that would sound weird.

"Well, one lesson Twilight made me try to learn after a few years teaching…" Pinkie started.

The hell would Pinkie even teach? "How To Be a Menace to Society 101"?

"...What I'm still working on learning is that not everypony likes loud and exciting. Like my now-friend Cranky Doodle Donkey came into town once upon a time and didn't want a party or to be friends and then I set his book on fire and found his wife and-"

"How hasn't she run out of breath yet?" Sunny asked. "Is her entire body a lung or something?"

"Probably." I muttered back.

"-Her wings but couldn't fly so had to learn from-"

She continued on, not taking a break, a breath, or even blinking.

"Then I 'pshaw'd' Marble and said 'Oatmeal, are you crazy?!' And she was so ashamed she never talked again.

"Well at least for another few minutes."

"Stop!" I interrupted. "I don't care about oatmeal! Can you just stop spouting bullshit for two seconds?"

Pinkie zipped her lips shut. Metaphorically, not literally. She sat down on her haunches and gestured for me to continue.

"Everything is so… off." I managed. Which was of course, very eloquent and well thought out verbiage.

"Well you're a smart Kirin, I'm sure you can figure it out." Pinkie cocked her head to the side. "As long as it stays T rated, and you're very careful how the next chapter plays out."

What?

Fuck it, I didn't have the energy to try and decipher her bullshit, or the energy to care. I had a headache bubbling up just listening to her. God, why did I ever like this character? Besides, if we kept talking I could find out more things about her that didn't match up with the character I remembered from the show. And that was… not good.

Best to avoid all main characters as much as possible.

"I'm leaving." I announced, slowly making my way toward the door.

"Sorry the party didn't work for you." Pinkie called out softly behind me. "You're always welcome at Sugarcube Corner!"

I shut the door behind me.

"Why were you so mean?" Sunny asked quietly.

"Listen you-" I spoke out loud. I paused and took a couple seconds to slow my breathing. I might have been in a bad mood, but that was no excuse to scream at a child that was worried for my well-being. "I'm dealing with the realization that around two decades of memories might be false. That all the people I remember and care about, my family, friends, and girlfriend, might be dead, or not have existed in the first place. And maybe if they did exist, they're wondering where the hell I've gone, if I was kidnapped or killed. This isn't my world, my species, or my way of living so excuse me if I'm not in the mood for a party thrown by a sugar-shocked lunatic!"

"...Do you want to talk about it?" Sunny offered.

"I don't 'talk about it'." I replied curtly. "I deal with it. C'mon, let's find Script and go home."

Author's Note

Fun fact: the Samoyed story is true.

Also Pinkie was weirdly hard to write for this chapter.

Fix (Me)

“All set, uh, kiddo?” Script gave me an unconvincingly large smile. I could tell his knees were locked out, which was unusual. He also had a slightly twitching left ear and the hair on the… whatever you call the back of a horse’s neck, was bristling.

I was far from an expert at pony body language, but he was either seething, and trying to hide it, or nervous. The first was bad for me since I doubt I could overpower a fully grown pony without Nirik form, and then I had to focus on limiting damages, and the second was bad for him because… who the hell would be scared of a little girl? What a little bitch.

I dunno. I guess that might be the wrong way of looking at it. He was there for the foster program, he was probably just worried about me. I don’t know if he saw my mini-meltdown, but I am skipping out on my own party. And from what I remember of this show, the town was a thousand percent behind everything the Pink Menace did.

“Good to go.” I responded lifelessly. I knew I felt tired, though whether or not that was because interacting with Pinkie drained me, or I was in the body of a little kid and it was late, I didn’t know.

My vision fell to the dirt all the same.

The walk back was quiet, neither of us speaking. I'm quite glad Script was leading, because the orientation of the town was baffling to me. I was used to paved, straight streets. Roads that branched off only at ninety degrees. Cities either shaped like spiderwebs, or with enough landmarks to easily orient yourself and map out the whole thing in your head.

Ponyville was small and chaotic. There was town central, which had all the main attractions like Town Hall, Sugarcube Corner, Barnyard Bargains, and Carousel Boutique. Off to the east, assuming the sun still set in the west here, was a massive, disorganized housing area. And navigating everything there was a nightmare. There were no street signs, and the streets weren't even straight. Not to mention they were dirt roads. I can only assume they had to memorize how many streets down and houses across they were.

Come to think of it, there was one attraction I hadn't seen yet. One you'd think would stand out.

"Hey Script," I asked. "Where's the library?"

"In the castle." He responded evenly.

"You mean that garish looking crystal tower?" I felt my ears perk up. What did that mean for Golden Oaks?

"Yes. That's Princess Twilight Sparkle's castle." He nodded.

I froze.

Princess… Twilight?

Holy shit. No.

"Well, it was." He continued. "Ever since she took the throne of Princess Celestia and Luna, her student has used that for her own purposes."

The world was spinning around me. My breath was coming in short, quick bursts. I lost control of my forelegs and stumbled forward.

"... She's a princess?" I managed to gasp.

Script, not seeming to notice anything was wrong, continued unabated.

"Has been ever since she earned her wings, yes. Do Kirin know much about that? We used to just have three Princesses. One for the sun, one for the moon, and one for love. But now we have five."

"Five." I repeated. I sat down hard.

Script heard that. He turned around, wide eyed, and his vision raked over me. He laid down in front of me and gently put a hoof on my shoulder.

"Je- Sunny. I'm here. It's okay. Tell me what's wrong."

Use the context clues you idiot!

"Blood pressure… dropping." I gasped. Bugs were crawling under my skin. My right ear was twitching like crazy and so was the tip of my tail. I let out a violent shudder and tears appeared in my eyes. My body radiated heat and power, and small wisps of smoke raised from my hooves.

Stupid fucking body. Respond to me. Stop crying like a baby!

But I couldn't. Twilight, the adorable, sarcastic book nerd was a princess? With a student? And had taken over Celestia's throne? Nononono this was wrong. Everything was wrong. This wasn't the world I knew.

Script scooched over and pressed his body against me. "Listen to my voice, Sunny. You're okay. Feel the ground under your hooves. Feel my coat. You're here, you're okay."

Yes, ground myself. That's good, just…

"I don't… I… I…" I licked my lips. My mouth was dry. "I can't…"

I smelled smoke.

I squeezed my eyes shut, and the dizziness took a plunge for the worse. I didn't even hear the light thud of my body hitting the ground before I passed out.

My eyes opened.

There was a yellow creature gazing down at me. It was a pony. One who looked somewhat familiar.

I shook my head.

"Noi?" I asked, reaching up a hoof to rub my head. I could feel something soft on my back and laying lightly across my stomach. Beyond Noi's head, I could see stars.

Plastic stars.

I was back in my new bed.

"Dad says you took a nap on the road." Noi stated matter-of-factly. "It sounds uncomfortable to me."

"I wasn't sleeping." I grunted, sitting up with some effort. "I was unconscious."

Noi cocked her head to her left, her left ear flopping and right eyebrow arching. "What's the difference?"

"Sleep involved delta waves and rapid e-" I began, then sighed. "Nevermind. I was asleep."

Noi blinked slowly, then nodded her head. "Checks out."

"Jenny." Golden's voice came from off to the left. "Are you feeling okay? Do you want us to call the doctor?"

I didn't even turn to address her. It felt wrong, her just being there, watching me. Besides, Script was there when I passed out. Where was he? "I'm fine. Just… not used to being up this late. I'm going to go to sleep. Y'all two should as well."

Noi nodded again. "You must be exhausted if you fell asleep outside.'' She reasoned, before climbing down the bunk ladder and into her own bed.

I didn't have to look to know Golden hadn't moved away.

"I'm fine." I repeated pointedly, turning to face away from her. I drew the blanket up farther.

"I'm sorry your first day has been so hard." Golden spoke softly. "Please let me know if I can do anything for you."

I'm not sure why, but that response pissed me off. I grit my teeth as I toyed with the idea of spitting something venomous at her. But I didn't. I stayed quiet. I just wished she’d stopped looking at me.

Golden let out a quiet sigh. "You know where my room is, if you need. Good night."

I rubbed my muzzle and curled up tighter. My mind was racing a million miles per hour and I was stuck not having any idea what to do with it. My muscles twitched with energy. I could definitely feel the bubbling presence of anxiety in my gut, and my body was raring to go like I just injected a shit-ton of caffeine into my veins. I was going to go crazy if I didn't do something.

I climbed down the ladder and made my way to the kitchen. I mean, it's not like I could leave. I'd get lost if I left the house. I could go to the backyard, but I couldn't really run either. Not on my broken leg.

I groaned loudly. I needed a distraction. I needed…

Wait...

I rubbed hard at my muzzle again. My left shoulder spasmed. I did my best to suppress a full body twitch.

I could smell vodka.

It had been a week. A full fucking week with no alcohol. My chest spasmed and I rubbed my muzzle again. This was new. This was new and I hated it and I couldn't stand it.

I trotted to the cabinet under the sink and pulled out the air freshener. I sprayed it until it was completely gone, but still the scent lingered.

It's psychological. I told myself, rubbing my nose with more force, my shoulder twitching. I had to stay away from it. For Sunny. I can't drag her down into the same pit I've been living in.

Of course Sunny was using her coping mechanism now. Letting me front and hiding from all her issues. What about my coping mechanism? I could sense there was alcohol here.

I had to stay strong. Stay strong for the little, scared girl trusting me to keep our body safe. To not blow our future. But this was the first time in years I had gone a day without even a little bit of alcohol.

I mean, how much would a couple sips hurt? A small buzz?

I reached out and smacked myself across my muzzle.

Listen you goddamn addict! I screamed at myself. You don't get to enable this sort of thing around a kid!

My body shuddered again and tears appeared in my eyes. Partially from the pain, partially from the fact that I just didn't know how to deal with problems and emotions in a way not involving alcohol. Curse whatever force put me in the mind of this child.

But like I said, Sunny had her own coping skills.

I shook my head furiously and glanced up. If the parents were smart, they'd hide any alcohol high up, make it harder for kids to reach. There were cabinets far above me. I could probably open them if I stood on my hind legs on the island an-

"Talk to somebody!" I spoke aloud. But who? Obviously not Noi or Sunny. Script was an adult but he didn't seem like he could really have that deep a conversation about alcohol, no offense to him, and there's no way in hell I was entrusting in Golden.

Just a few sips, to calm your nerves. That won't make Sunny an alcoholic.

I turned to gaze at the cabinets again, and made up my mind.

I dragged over a chair to the island, and used that to jump up onto it, then the counter. Using my good foreleg to keep myself from falling on my back, I yanked open cabinet by cabinet with my mouth.

I saw cereal. Crackers. Other bullshit foodstuffs. Until I reached the second to last one, and spotted bottles. The first one looked like olive oil.

If only I could read this fucking language.

I climbed into the cabinet and began my search.

Bottle after bottle.

Nonsense on every label.

Caps I couldn’t open.

I was giving up hope.

But there it was. A single, unassuming bottle at the very back. A familiar amber-esque liquid.

I pushed toward it, elbowing other bottles out of the way. I heard the sound of one of the bottles falling to the ground and shattering against the floor.

It didn’t matter.

I grasped the bottle close, afraid life would decide to fuck me up and somehow seperate me from the only way to navigate through this new life.

I couldn’t twist off the cap. It was already loosened, the bottle only about three quarters full.

I couldn’t figure out the magic in hooves. I needed some other fix for this.

After a moment of consideration, I bit the cap as hard as possible and yanked my head to the right. I couldn’t turn the bottle with my hooves, so I had to squeeze my entire body around the bottle as I turned the cap with my teeth.

It was a terrible solution.

It was the only solution.

As the cap came free, my entire body tensed. I was about to find my only real solution to my current life.

I sniffed at the neck of the bottle. A overwhelmingly syrup-y smell assaulted my nostrils.

Rum.

Not my favorite by any regard, but it smelled strong, and that’s just what I needed.

A moment later the liquid was meeting my lips.

It was horrible. It was too strong.

It was amazing. It was just what I needed.

It was relief from the stresses of the world.

It was peace.

“NAANTS IGONYAMA BAGITI BABA! KUMBAYA! KUMBAYA!” I shouted, finding myself standing on two legs on top of the table.

A moment later, as I was puzzling over the next line of lyrics, I heard steps coming from the hallway.

A blue horse stared at me, rubbing a forehoof against its eye.

“Sunny, what in Celestia’s name are you doing?” The horse asked.

Oh right. I was pony.

I lost my balance and landed on all four hooves. I slowly sat down, pretending I landed on purpose.

“Hiya Sccccript! I was s-singing about the circle of life, which is kinda fi-” I hiccuped, before staring up at Script happily “-fitting because my life is pony horsey time, y’know?”

Script silently stared at me as I tried to climb onto two legs again. I wanted to sing more of the song, but I forgot all the lyrics.

“Circle of l-” I claimed with confidence, before losing my balance again and falling off the table. I hit the floor with a soft “oof”.

“...I am o-kay!” I announced.

I took a moment to collect my bearings, which ultimately failed as I was suddenly on the horsey friend’s back. I let myself relax as I felt his haunches move in rhythm with his steps. He was leading me somewhere, which was good. Unless it was bad, and he was leading me somewhere bad, like a sacrificial altar.

Turns out I wasn’t heading to a sacrificial altar, as I found myself getting dragged by the scruff of my neck into the lower bunk of the bunk bed, next to what looked like a snoozing small yellow dog.

I crossed my not-arms in the best impression of a crossed-arms movement as possible and put on my best frown as the larger pony carried me like a kitten. I was NOT a kitten. I felt covers being pulled up to my chin, and Script took an awkward seat next to my bed.

“Do you, uh…” He began, his eyebrows doing the thing where they looked concerned or whatever. “Do you need a bucket?”

I paused to consider his question.

Nah, I could still make decent sense of my surroundings. I wasn’t that fucked up.

“Nope!” I smiled big. “But I do need to pee."

Script looked back, unfazed. “Oh, okay. Let me know if you need help. I’ll be here.”

My mind went nightclub mode instantly. “Oh, is that a promise, big man?”

I did my best to wink at him, but I’m pretty sure I fucked up and just gave him a very meaningful blink.

I couldn’t really remember our relationship, but one of my favorite things while drunk was leading guys on. They either got so mad or so serious. So…

“Hey!” I pointed at Script. At least I think so. There were two of him unless I closed one eye. “I gotta go, y'know? Wanna help me?”

I could see his eyebrows furrow. For several moments, I entertained myself by closing alternative eyelids, watching his position change in the room.

“I’ll help if you want.” Script replied after a moment. “Can you not walk?”

I tried gracefully dropping to the floor, ended up flopping, then stood up, regarding the floor for a moment.

“Nope. I ddddon’t remember how to.” I slurred.

Without a sigh or any words of complaint, I found myself suddenly on his back again, winding through the house.

I did my best to try and not puke all over his back, and I'm pretty sure I was successful.

I was just as successful when I finally managed to get myself situated over the piss trough things, and tried making the whole process as loud as possible. I think I pissed all over my tail, but who cares? Sometimes life be like that, y'know? It was its fault for getting in the way.

My adventure ended when Script picked me up like a kitten again, and placed me back in the bed. He magically disappeared for a few moments, then came back with a plastic beach bucket-y thing, whatever those are called.

There was a wet rag or something on the side that he picked up with a hoof. Freaking magical hooves, man.

"Tail." He ordered.

"Heads!" I laughed. "I win! But where's the quarter?"

Script furrowed his brows and stared at me for a moment, before grabbing my tail gently and raising the rag.

Maybe it had more alcohol and he was expecting me to buttchug. I mean, I had never tried, but I wasn't saying I wouldn't try it. Maybe more with somebody I knew better, though. Or maybe not.

He got to work cleaning my tail, giving me a small smile. "Don't want to have to go to sleep covered with the smell of urine, right?"

Wouldn't be the first time, buddy.

I rolled over in the bed and spotted the yellow thing again.

"Puppy!" I whispered, wrapping my arms around it. I loved dogs.

I felt something under me get tugged, then something soft lay over me.

"There's a pail here if you need to throw up." The dude spoke from behind me. "I'll be a shout away. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks!" I chirped. I buried my face in the nape of the puppy's neck in front of me.

I closed my eyes, figuring this was as good a place as any to spend the night. I'd find the way home in the morning.

I couldn't wait to do it again tomorrow.

A New Leaf

“Sunny.”

I felt something poke me in the forehead. I gave off an irritated groan, refusing to open my eyes.

“Sunny.”

Another poke. The voice was high pitched and far too loud.

“Sunny, wake up.”

I groaned again, opening my eyes to the annoyingly bright face of another pony. A yellow pony.

Noi.

Who I was laying face to face with.

It took a second for that to sink in. As soon as it did, I lurched back and instantly got swamped with a powerful wave of nausea.

“Sunny, why were you hugging me? I mean I don’t not like hugs, but normally you ask a pony first and don’t just hug them in their sleep. And for that long. At least here in Ponyville. Is that normal for Kirin?"

Oh god, her voice was too loud.

“Wha-?” I managed. “I don’t… what?”

We were spared from an extremely awkward discussion as there were three soft knocks on the door.

I rolled off and hit the floor. The floor hit back with another wave of nausea. Somebody fit my head into a vice and was squeezing that bitch for all it was worth.

The absurdly loud sound of the door opening filled my existence, and I heard a sigh.

"Jenny." Golden's voice rang out. "I heard you had quite the night."

"A shitty metal band is using the inside of my skull for band practice." I groaned, covering my eyes with my forelegs.

Golden was silent for a few moments.

"Noi, dear, why don't you go make some of that sugary cereal you love so much? I left the box on the island counter. Your new sister and I need to talk."

Noi gasped and sprinted out of the room. I heard a distant "Yes!" from the hallway.

I heard Golden pushing something across the ground.

"Eat this." She commanded, her tone impatient. "It will help with the hangover."

With a gargantuan effort, I raised my head and squinted at the tray in front of me. On it was eggs, toast, a clear glass of what appeared to be orange juice, and a white mug saying something in Equestrian. Or whatever their language was called.

I managed to push myself to a sitting position and grabbed the mug by pinching both forehooves together on either side. I smelled black coffee.

Well, it was no latte with foam art, but I did enjoy coffee in the mornings.

I took a deep sip and twisted my face up as the bitter taste assaulted my tastebuds. Kid body, different taste buds, I guess. Or just not used to the taste of coffee.

"Written Script tells me you had quite the night." Golden spoke.

"And let me guess, you're not angry, you're disappointed." I grunted, attacking the toast.

"In you, and in myself."

I paused. The currently squished toast crumbled out of my hooves.

"Come again?"

"Listen, uh… Jenny…"

She got the name right. That's either a really good sign, or a really bad one.

"The hospital did tell me you had a history with alcohol abuse. I just didn't think a filly with a broken foreleg would be able to get into the back of one of our cupboards." Golden sighed. "Noi always needed help getting into them. And that's my fault. I might not have been actively enabling, but I should have found a way to lock it up."

My forehoof slowly found its way back to the floor. This was not going how I expected. I expected shouting, or her talking to me like I was a little kid which… well, it would make sense, to be fair.

Golden gestured to the space next to me. "Mind if I sit?"

I shook my head speechlessly.

"Do you know why I was so eager to foster you, Jenny?" Golden asked, making her way next to me and sitting too close for comfort. I scooched away.

"Either because you're such a kind, giving soul, or you didn't like seeing a little kid suffering with no family." I responded sarcastically.

"No, because you're not a little kid." Golden responded. "Are you? Well, you you. Not Sunny. I did want to foster her too, absolutely, but… sorry, Script and I were briefed on the whole 'separate identities' thing, but I'm not sure I really get it."

I'm not sure why her saying that shocked me so much, but it did. As I worked on picking my jaw up off of the floor, she continued.

"Jenny, I specifically wanted to help you because I was told of your problem with addiction."

I paused again.

"You're bullshitting me." I stated.

"Watch that language!" Golden frowned and furrowed her brows. "And no, I'm not… pulling your leg."

"Well I'd appreciate that." I responded quickly. "It's already broken, doesn't need to be dislocated too."

Golden let out a laugh, and brought her hoof up to her mouth. Something about that just… filled me up with this weird feeling I couldn't explain.

"No. I wanted to help you because I've been right where you are before. Not with alcohol, but… I know how hard it gets. And that's why I want to apologize again about last night. Don't worry, this is going to be a dry household, and I'm gonna help you through this."

"What, with the power of friendship?" I replied sarcastically with a little chuckle.

"I was thinking more with the power of therapy and medicines that help with the urges." Golden gave me a small smile. "But friendship would be nice on the side."

If all this lady wanted was to be my friend… well I was perfectly okay with that. I mean, realistically I was closer in age to her than I was to Noi. Dunno how the dynamic would work with Sunny, though.

Why did I have to merge minds with a child?

"So… I'm not in trouble?" I ventured.

Golden sighed. "None of the parenting books or classes prepared me for this situation, so… stand by on that. I think the hangover itself will be enough punishment for now."

I moved on to the eggs. Well, I tried to. I couldn't pick up the fork with my dumb hooves, and didn't want to just gobble it right off the plate.

Golden saw me poking at the fork.

"Are you having grip problems?"

I laid back down. "Never learned."

Golden frowned as an eyebrow arched. "You've never learned to manipulate magical fields?"

I gazed up at her expressionlessly.

"What?"

Golden gently guided my good hoof to the fork.

"Now tense your hoof as hard as you can. Visualize the space between the hoof and fork disappearing."

As I did, the fork twitched, then seemingly magnetized weakly to my hoof. I picked my hoof up. It followed, barely hanging on.

"What the-"

I flung my hoof to the left, and the momentum carried it up. I flung my hoof back to the right, and the fork went flying across the room.

My jaw dropped again. I feel the surprise might have hit harder if I wasn't queasy and feeling like something was trying to jackhammer out my forehead, but hey.

"Holy crap." I mustered.

"Language." Golden deadpanned as I went to retrieve the fork, plunging it into the eggs and trying to eat without knocking it off.

I managed to get it hanging off my hoof again, and had to resort to kind of hanging the eggs above my mouth and trying to bite them off without pulling on the fork too hard.

With a heavy sigh Golden gently grabbed my hoof and righted the fork so I could eat normally.

"I'm doing magic!" I exclaimed, ignoring the fact that I was probably acting like an excited little schoolgirl. Ooh, did this mean I could levitate shit?

I tried tensing my entire head and focusing on lifting the fork, but nothing happened. I tried doing anything with my horn, but just like my tail, I had no idea how to move my new appendages.

Golden let out a low chuckle. I was making a face similar to constipation and intense focus mixed together, so I can't exactly blame her.

"'Fraid unicorn magic is a bit more complex. I don't know how to teach that, but I'm sure we can find a tutor."

I mean that was all well and good, but one question had forced its way to the forefront of my mind.

"You said you wanted to take care of me specifically because I seemed like an addict." I started, rubbing my forehead in a somewhat valiant attempt to get the headache to fuck off. "Why?"

Golden let out a heavy sigh. "Though my vice of choice was different, I've known addiction too. I know just how hard it is to break."

The fork dropped from my hoof.

She was a recovered addict? But not to alcoholism, she said. So that left, what? Gambling? Drugs? Sex? I mean, maybe if she wasn't a horse and I was back in my old body, though I never was a fan of girls with orange hair.

"Gambling?" I guessed out loud.

"Oh by Luna, no." Golden laughed. "I'm a complete wreck with gambling."

Golden's gaze met the floor. Her ears moved to the sides of her head. "I'd appreciate you not telling Noi about this quite yet. I do intend on telling her when she's older, but not yet. No, I had a problem with painkillers."

Oh. That was unexpected.

"Codeine, specifically." She finished, letting out another sigh before meeting my gaze.

I'm somewhat ashamed to say my first thought was "It should be Coltdiene, following the pun names in the show". That's not something you joke about.

"Oh." I managed.

"The first week was so hard." Golden continued, staring off into space. "In fact, it was completely horrible until three moons had passed. That's when I started getting things under control. I spent so many nights when I was so impossibly close to relapse… and I did it alone."

Golden turned to face me finally. "And that's why I'm going to be next to you, every step of the way. I'm gonna make sure you're taken care of, okay? Gotta make sure my kids are good to go and be the best." She finished with a wink.

"Woah, woah." I waved a hoof. "I appreciate it, but I can handle it on my own, and I'm not your kid. You're just taking care of me 'till my sister can, right? Or well, Sunny's sister."

"According to a bunch of legal documents, I am your guardian at this time, so in the eyes of the law, you are my kid, and I plan on treating you like you were my own." Golden smiled. "And that second one will be between the three of you when she's old enough and has a stable living."

"That's uh…" I struggled to think of the words, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck raise up. "A really nice perspective, considering our first day together but… well, I'm sure Sunny would be fine with it, but I'm already an adult and I don't need guardians. I'd be set if I could get a little place and a job and just make my own way."

"I don't think you're gonna be able to get a setup like that as a little filly." Golden arched an eyebrow, still smiling.

"I'm not a little filly." I retorted, frowning at her. "Well, I mean I am, but, like… not me."

"Ah, so you are and aren't both? That clears it up." Golden chuckled.

I glared weakly at Golden. "I don't appreciate this back and forth, and I don't need to be treated like a kid. Sunny? Sure. She is one. I am not. I just want to work and make a life for myself. Build the one I already had back up."

Then again, that lifestyle wouldn't be fair to Sunny. It'd be robbing her of half her childhood just for my own stupid pride. Goddammit, why did I have to be bonded to another being?! Life was so much easier when I didn't have another consciousness to worry about.

Golden let out a light chuckle. "I don't think most businesses on the up and up would hire a foal, no matter how old the foal claimed to be. And good luck finding your own place to live even if. Sorry kiddo, looks like you're outta luck."

"Well…" I groaned. "Then I'll be a roommate. Let me work for my rent."

"I have a better idea." Golden smiled, poking my nose. I recoiled and screwed my face up. "While you're living under this roof, you're gonna help with chores, and in return, you get an allowance."

Much as I hated to admit it, looking at all the circumstances, her offer was fair, and her points good. Shit, life would be so much easier if I was put in the body of an adult.

"Ugh!" I groaned, face planting into the floor. I felt my ears point straight back, even though I didn't try to make that happen.

"Aw, it's not so bad. I'll do my best to make sure you're happy here, dear." Golden crowned, running a hoof through my mane and down my neck.

I moved away. "I am not a dear, and don't appreciate being pet."

Golden laughed loudly. "Oh, aren't you just a ray of sunshine? Guess that's where 'Sunny' came from, huh?"

"Do not call me that." I commanded.

"Aw." Golden crowned again, placing her hoof gently on my shoulder. "But it's such a cute nickname for such a cute little filly."

I sighed. "You don't actually believe I'm an adult, do you?"

Golden was quiet for a few moments.

"Well I haven't had much time around Sunny to compare you two, but you definitely talk more like an adult. Your behavior has been a bit… adolescent, though."

I raised my head and opened my mouth to rebuttal, but was struck silent.

I guess… she had a point. I mean, she could probably get in trouble for my actions last night, and she was offering me a really good life, despite my situation. No more bills, no more responsibility, and I didn't really have to deal with any of the issues I had in my own life. I mean, minus the psychological effects of the addiction, which was gonna be a bitch and a half to deal with. And even that, she'd offered to help. And here I was acting like I had to fight to get fair treatment.

Here I had a great chance at a second childhood, with a loving nuclear family dynamic and two younger fillies that already looked up to me, even though I'd done nothing but screw up since I got here. Well, that's assuming Sunny would forgive me for doing what I did to her body last night. She had been oddly quiet today…

"I…" I began. "Sorry, I know this is realistically better than any alternative, but just… everything is so starkly different. I'll help out and do my best to be good, but I don't want to be treated like a little foal, not when I'm fronting. Can we work something out?"

Golden gave me a small smile. She raised her hoof to bump. "I can work with that, champ."

I bumped her hoof in response. "Also, please don't call me that."

Golden nodded. "Noted. Now you can get some more rest. In a couple hours somepony is coming to give you a placement test for school. I wish you hadn't gotten hungover before it, but oh well, you live with the consequences of your actions, huh?"

My only response was another groan as she slowly got up, turned off the light, and closed the door behind her as she left the room.

It was just about when the door clicked shut that Sunny seemed to wake up.

"Ugggghhh." Sunny moaned. "Everything hurts."

"Hey, uh, Sunny." I hesitated, speaking aloud.

"Quietpleasemakeitstopquietpleasemakeitstop." She mumbled over and over.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about…" I started.

"You're sorry?" Sunny snapped back. I actually froze. This was the first time I'd actually heard her angry. "I trusted you. I trusted you the whole time and you keep hurting me! You're the worst sister ever!"

That sentence actually hurt. It reached through my chest, tore out my heart, and crushed it in front of my eyes. I felt my breathing pick up, and felt goosebumps break out over my forelegs.

We were both quiet for several moments.

"Sorry." Sunny whispered in her usual quiet tone. "Please don't be angry at me. I didn't mean to yell."

"No!" I argued out loud. "I f- I messed up. You should be angry at me! Don't just lie down and let others walk over you! Especially me!"

"No." Sunny responded, her voice growing weaker. "No. Being mad means others suffer. I'm... I'm not allowed to feel that way anymore."

I couldn't find words to respond with.

"You hurt us again." She spoke again, her voice getting stronger. "I know you don't mean to be a bad Kirin. Or um, a human. You don't mean to be bad."

"No, uh, I don't." I managed, rubbing my forelegs to make the goosebumps go away.

"I feel like we just drank poison."

I rubbed the side of my muzzle. "Honestly, we kind of did. I'm sorry, it was something… well, I needed it before I met you, and I can't function without it."

"You can't function without poison?" Sunny's voice took on a curious tone. "You must have had a very weak body. Or been poison-proof. Were you, like, a lizard?"

"No, like…" My gaze hit the floor. This was gonna be a hard discussion. "That poison? Alcohol? I drank it because… I'm trying to kill something inside of me."

"I don't understand." Sunny responded. "Does your species have something like the Nirik thing? ...Or is that why you asked Miss Nurse to get rid of you?

Shit. She had heard that.

"No." I rolled into my back. "These weird personal issues are solely my problem. It was like…"

I took a deep breath before continuing. I really didn't want to talk about my feelings. Especially with a kid. But I had to be fair.

I placed a hoof over my chest.

"It's like... You have this hole here. You don't have a beating heart. Or at its best, it's old and broken, barely working. At its worst, it's completely gone. Everyone else is saying their hearts keep them warm and upbeat, making their way through life and not even having to put up a façade, but you never understood that.

"You can try to fill that void with things everyone says makes them happy, like kittens and chocolate, and maybe sometimes it will make a tiny spark, but you know that will never turn into a full flame. It's just shoveling... garbage into the hole. And you can tell it's not right.

"I never figured it out. The only thing that works for me is getting so fucke- messed up on drugs that I don't even realize there's supposed to be a heart there. A beating organ, spreading warmth to your whole body. That pile of garbage and fake smile isn't what everyone wears. It doesn't make the sparks any bigger. It just makes you think they are.

"So yeah, that's why I told the psychologist to get rid of me before I could twist you into something terrible and empty, Sunny. You may have a completely fucked past, but without me you'd still have a future."

"Oh." Was all Sunny could manage.

We both sat in silence for about a minute.

"You sound really sad. I think you need me to give you a niiiiice big hug." Sunny said. "That always makes me feel better."

"We share the same body." I retorted dryly. "How are you gonna do that?"

Sunny was quiet for a few moments, then took over control of the body. Quickly she wrapped her forehooves around herself. A moment later I found myself shunted into control of the body.

"There!" Sunny chirped. "Please feel better. For me?"

I bit down hard to try and fight the oncoming tears.

It didn't work.

"I'll try." I whispered.

"Okay!" I could feel Sunny's warm smile from inside.

"Listen kid, I uh…" I burst out suddenly. "It's gonna be real hard to break the habit, so in return for doing my best to change who I am for you, I want something from you."

"Oh, um, okay." Sunny responded meekly, fear creeping into her voice. "What?"

"I want you to stop hiding all the time. We're both in a new environment, but this is your world, your body, and your species. I'm willing to be part of your life, not take it over."

I felt her let out a heavy sigh.

"Okay. Deal." She responded.

"Okay." I grinned. "Now here's the important question, since we have a placement test later today. Can you read Equestrian?" I focused my gaze on the writing on the mug.

"Uh, no. Not really."

The Test

Author's Note

After the first line break is a somewhat saucy flashback. This is the lewdest the story will get by far and is there to provide backstory to Jenny. If you don't want to see that skip to the line break after.

The Test

"So…" I began. "We got some time to kill. Why don't you tell me about yourself?"

"Well, I'm not particularly interesting." Sunny replied. "I'm just another Kirin."

Great start.

"What's your family like? Where did you come from?" I pressed.

"Smoky is my family." Sunny replied simply. "I come from a little village very far away."

Normally kids don't ever shut up, but it seems I lucked out and got the most asocial kid in the world.

Well, it seems there's some shit going on with Sunny's parents judging by her simple reply and what the social worker said so… I'll come back to that.

"Is your village big? Are you the only Kirin village?" I stubbornly pressed.

Sunny hummed quietly. "I think we're the only Kirin village, but I'm not sure. And we're a lot smaller than this place. This city is huge."

I chortled. "This isn't a city. This is a decent sized town, sure, but I wouldn't call it big."

Finally Sunny showed some emotion with another tone of curiosity. "This isn't big? Then my village must be very small. It takes less than seven minutes to walk from one side to the other."

"That does sound small. I don't suppose your village has an inn or church or some big landmark, does it?"

Sunny was quiet for a moment. "I don't know what those words mean. The only big buildings we have are the herbalist's, the shaman's, and the school."

"Huh." I replied. "That sounds more of a Hamlet than a villa-, wait. You don't even have a hospital? Even a doctor's office?"

"Uh… no? Why would Mr. Doctor even have a place in my village? I thought he lived in this town."

I couldn't figure out how the hell to respond to that.

"Mr. Doctor?" I parroted.

"Yeah, Mr. Doctor Horse. That one pony we saw earlier."

Oh. Oh.

"Doctor is his job, not his name." I clarified. "He- wait, you've never seen a doctor before? A pediatrician? A dentist?! What happens if you get sick?"

"Um, I don't know what all those words mean either, but if I got sick we'd go see the herbalist Ms. Blaze. She's a really nice cow. She has really pretty red hair, and always makes a bowl of chips of tree sap for calves to suck on after she helps us. She disappeared for two cycles after the stream of silence thing, though."

Well there was a lot of information there to unpack.

"The closest thing to a doctor for you is a cow and not a Kirin?" I asked stupidly, my brain pulling a hard blank.

Sunny was quiet for a second.

"A cow is a Kirin. It's like how Miss Golden is a pony mare, Mr. Script is a pony stallion, and Noi is a pony foal. If they were Kirin they'd be a cow, a bull, and a calf."

So despite looking more like ponies, they use the same terms as cows? That makes no sense.

"Yeah, we use the same terms as giraffes instead of ponies. I remember I learned why in school once but I don't remember."

The more I talked to this kid, the more my head hurt.

"What about you? What were you like before you were my newest imaginary friend?"

I opened my mouth to explain how traditionally a separate identity wasn't an imaginary friend, but a completely different individual caused by the fragmentation of the psyche, but… fuck it. Nah, I was Sunny's imaginary friend. This was easier and more acceptable than the idea of a separate identity via fractured psyche, or god forbid, her "new sister".

But shit, how do I even start describing my life to a little kid? Especially one in a land like Equestria?

“Well…” I began. “I’m what’s called an officer in a defense force we call the “Army”.”

“Ooh! Defense force? Do you fight aliens from outer space and stuff?” Sunny asked excitedly.

“No, no aliens. I don’t really fight anything. I basically have a normal administrative job and sometimes arrange training. I don’t really do anything cool.”

“Admini- what?”

“Paperwork and boring meetings.”

"Aw, that's not very cool." Sunny pouted. "Is the training cool?"

"Absolutely not." I answered with a shake of my head, picking up the glass of orange juice with both hooves and carefully sipping. "A lot of doing really basic stuff over and over that my soldiers already knew how to do. We're supposed to be 'testing our capabilities'."

"So then what do you defend?"

"Our home and people in case another country attacks, basically. It's a dull job."

"Why would they do that? That's really mean." Sunny responded, alarmed.

"Humans are cruel creatures by nature." I sighed. "Not like ponies here."

Sunny was quiet for a few moments.

"But you still want to go back, don't you?"

"Yeah." I whispered. "This isn't the right place for me. It's too nice for me."

Just then the door creaked open, and Noi's curious face peeked through.

"Hey SunnyJenny, why do you have two names? Is that a kirin thing? Do you all have two names? Mom just said there's two of you, but I can't see another one. Are you invisible?"

Ah, the one child that I wasn't lucky enough to have to be quiet.

Doing my best to suppress an eye roll, I spoke. "Two minds in the same body. One name each. Think of a ghost possessing a body, but it can't escape."

I could practically hear the gears grinding in Noi's head, her expression blank.

"Are you a para- paris- uh… parasprite?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but was caught off by Noi as she spoke again, pushing her way into the room and standing right in front of me, cocking her head to the side and studying me as if I were some new species of bug.

"No, that's not right." Noi concluded. "Parasite. Not parasprite. I meant parasite."

I felt the fur on the back of my neck bristle.

"You think I'm a parasite?" I couldn't help but drip a little venom in my words.

"Yeah! We learned about them in school last year!" Noi exclaimed, straightening her head and shifting to have a lower gravity, looking like a dog inviting somebody to play. "Like a tapeworm! Or a pinworm!"

Jesus Christ this kid was gonna wear on me quickly.

"No. I am not a tapeworm, or any sort of parasite at all. I don't have a physical presence."

I took a moment to close my eyes, sigh, and rub my muzzle.

She's just a little kid. You know she isn't trying to offend, just to understand.

"Don't worry!" Noi stood tall, pointing at herself proudly. "You're my favorite tapeworm! I'll tell all the doctors not to deworm you! And if they do, I'll kick their butts!"

"My hero." I retorted sarcastically. Okay, maybe the kid was a little cute.

"Mom says after Miss Cheerilee gives you a test you might join me in school! Wouldn't that be cool? I can introduce you to all my friends! There's Piña, she's great at impressions. And Dinky, she's really good with magic for her age! She can almost levitate her entire pencil bag! And then there's-"

Ugh. I had just finished my Bachelors not too long ago and now I had to go back to school. Even worse, I knew nothing about ponies, so I was probably gonna be placed in a grade lower than Noi's, who was clearly a couple years younger than Sunny. If they stick me in second grade or something, I'm going full Nirik and burning the school down. Ain't no way I'm doing ten more years of school.

"-And he's a really good flier! His brother is even a Wonderbolt! That's all of them, though. I'm sure they'll all love you!"

"I'm sure we'll all be fast friends." I yawned pointedly. "But as your mother may have told you, I'm sick and need to rest. Sleep this hangover off."

"Oh." Noi responded slowly, her enthusiasm lost. "Okay. Good night! I'll come get you when Miss Cheerilee gets here!"

"Will that really help with this headache and stuff?" Sunny inquired.

"Yeah." I responded to both Noi and Sunny. I pushed myself to my hooves, took a last drink of juice, and climbed into bed.

I forced my eyes open. My head was pounding and my stomach was sending the constant message of "be ready to throw up at any point".

I rolled to my left side and blearily started at my nightstand. Luckily, drunk me wasn't completely irresponsible, and left the pain pills out, right next to half a beer.

Reaching out with my right hand, I grabbed the pill bottle, popped it open, and chased four tablets with another swig of the beer. Then, it was on to more important things.

I rolled over again to find myself face to face with a gorgeous woman. Her shoulder-length fiery red hair spilled all over the pillow and her face, and her smooth, tan skin, framed by her perfect face was only marred by the fact that she was drooling all over her pillow.

I stretched out my neck and gently bit the tip of her nose, pulling back and side to side gently. She responded with a grunt, and I pulled again.

"What do you want, you ass?" She grunted, finally opening those emerald green eyes I could spend a year staring into.

"Happy 29th, weirdo." I grinned.

"Oh." She smiled back, seductively putting her arms behind my neck and drawing me in close so we were nose-to-nose. "I'm ready for my twenty nine birthday spankings, Jen."

"Eugh." I turned around, grabbed the beer bottle, and turned back. "Since we don't have any paper bags to cover that ugly mug, Maria, I'm gonna have to settle for beer goggles." I put the beer down in front of my eyes and squinted through it. "There, much prettier."

"Pretty sure it doesn’t work that way." Maria chuckled, grabbing the bottle and putting it on her own nightstand.

"Well, I'm agreeing with twenty nine…" I inched further toward my girlfriend, feeling my way down her back and giving her ass a light slap. "But I was thinking something a little more than spankings."

Maria covered her mouth and threw her eyebrows up in mock surprise. "Pre-marital fun? Oh, whatever will I say in confession?"

I softly bit her lower lip and drew her into a kiss. My tongue battled hers for dominance. I lost. I always lost in battles of dominance. Sometimes even not on purpose.

"Just tell them I'm a ten year old boy." I teased. "They're down with that sort of sick shit."

"Ugh, you're such a damn brat in the mornings." Maria rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide a bit of a smile.

"Ooh, maybe I deserve those spankings instead.~" I cooed.

"Tempting." Maria bit her lower lip on the way that always drove me crazy.

"Sunny. Sunny. Jenny. Sunny. Sunny. Jenny." Every word was punctuated with a poke in the ribcage.

I raised my head blearily and got to work, blinking the sleep out of my eyes. "Maria?"

"Noi." The voice announced. "Miss Cheerilee is here. She's in the kitchen. Hurry up."

I grunted and waved her away. I shoved my face back in the pillow, considering just going back to sleep. But no, I had to convince my family I was an adult. Had to convince them that I could handle a little more leniency than Noi or Sunny. Maybe a little more responsibility.

Ugh.

I forced myself up with a groan of exasperation. I climbed down the ladder. I was doing it faster than the first time, and noticed it was easier walking around as a quadruped. So, hooray for that I guess. The hangover wasn't much better, but there was some improvement.

"You up, Sunny?" I called out.

"Against my will." Sunny replied in a low tone.

"Yeah, same kiddo. Let's ace this stupid test and go back to bed."

Sunny merely replied with a grunt.

I padded my way into the kitchen, rubbing at my eyes and trying to wake my mind up faster. Sitting there, plain as day, was Cheerilee, chatting away with Golden. She looked the same as I remembered.

"Well hello there, Sunny!" Cheerilee greeted me in her usual cheery tone. "Or is it Jenny? Mrs. Harvest here was just telling me about your situation."

Just that sentence filled me with dread. I dunno why Cheerilee knowing would be a bad thing, but I didn't like the idea of that sort of thing being discussed behind my back.

"Jenny." I replied listlessly. I noticed a couple papers and a pencil on the island in front of one of the chairs. That was a problem. I didn't know how to write with my mouth and didn't think that grip would be able to write effectively. I gulped.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you, Jenny!" Cheerilee chirped. "My name is Miss Cheerilee and I'm just here to see your brilliance for myself."

"Pleasure is all mine." I replied dryly. "And uh… I was hoping the test could be verbal? Not written?"

The smile disappeared from Cheerilee's face as she arched an eyebrow. "Well I certainly could accommodate. Do Kirin not write Ponish?"

Their language is called Ponish? That's dumb.

"No. We don't."

"Oh!" The smile reappeared. "I'd love to get a sample of your own writing, then! Not too many unique scripts I've been able to see."

"Sunny?" I called out loud.

"I'm okay with that." Sunny responded as Cheerilee arched an eyebrow again.

"Yeah, we can do that." I said.

"Wonderful! Shall we begin, or do you need some time to get ready?"

"Nah, let's get it over with." I yawned. "How's this split up?"

"Well," Cheerilee began. "We'll start off with math. Then usually comes the reading and writing comprehension check. We'll see what we can work out for that. Finally, history."

"Sounds good!" A little pep made its way into my voice. Time to blow the pants off this test. Math was always my best topic in school.

"Before we begin, do you know about multiplication and division?" Cheerilee asked.

"I'm very familiar." I responded quickly, doing a little internal fist pump. Seemed Equestria has the same math rules.

"Very well. Let's begin very simply." Cheerilee smiled and nodded. "One plus one."

"Two."

"One plus two?"

"Three."

"Two plus two?"

"Four."

So far so good. Easy shit.

"Three plus three?"

"Six."

I could see Cheerilee's muzzle twitch slightly downward at that, as if holding back a frown.

"Four plus four."

"Eight." I responded a little less surely.

"Four minus two?"

"Two."

At that, Cheerilee's face relaxed a bit. A small smile returned to her face.

"Three times two."

"Six." I responded monotonously.

The smile disappeared.

"Could you please count to ten for me?" Cheerilee asked, all the joy sapped out of her voice.

This was weird, why was she acting like this?

"One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten." I listed off.

"Interesting…" Cheerilee rubbed her chin. "Let's put a pin in the math section and move onto history, shall we?"

The hair on my withers stood straight up. That test was way too easy and she was reacting strangely. Did I do something wrong?

"Approximately when did Gusty the Great defeat Tirek?"

Shit.

"Sunny, what do you think?" I asked out loud.

"I have no idea who those are." Sunny replied.

"No idea." I told Cheeriee. She responded with a frown.

"How long was Nightmare banished for and when?"

"A thousand years, and I don't know."

Cheerilee paused for a few moments, staring at me.

"When was the first Kirin tribe discovered?"

"Two cycles ago!" Sunny piped up instantly.

"Cycle?" I responded.

"Yeah!" Came her enthusiastic remark.

Fuck it, I'll ask her later.

"Two cycles ago." I answered Cheerilee.

Cheerilee arched an eyebrow. "Cycle is a rather archaic term. We say 'year' here. We no longer measure from winter to winter. But ah… very well. Please let me and Miss Harvest calculate your scores and see… how you'll approach schooling from now on. Why don't you go see if you can find Noi or Mister Script?"

I had a horrible feeling in my chest as I walked back towards the room I shared with Noi. That was far too short. God, were they gonna put me in some Special Ed program? Or send me to first grade? It's not my fault that Sunny didn't grow up around ponies!

"Hey!" Noi chirped as she saw me enter the room. She started bouncing on her bed. "How did you do? Did you ace it?"

I sighed. "Pretty sure I bombed it."

Noi froze in midair and landed back on the bed on her haunches. She cocked her head to the side. "Bombed?"

I rubbed the side of my muzzle. "Failed."

"Oh." Noi's ears drooped and her gaze fell to the floor. "So you won't go to school with me?"

"I have no idea, kid." I responded, unable to keep the disappointment out of my voice as well. For a few moments we sat in silence, before there was a swift knock on the door.

"Come in." Noi called out halfheartedly.

The door swung open and the smiling face of Script popped in.

"Greetings, lawful offspring." Script slid in, sitting next to Noi and smiling at her. He turned to me and nodded. "Foster offspring."

"Greetings, lawful progenitor." Noi giggled.

"Uh..." I hesitated. "Why are you talking like that?"

Noi answered. "Sometimes Dad decides to play a game with us, where he'll do some funky stuff with Ponish, and we have to figure out what the gimmick is."

"Indeed." Script nodded again. "Fitting postface."

Noi rubbed her chin in contemplation. "I'm going with... only two syllable words."

Script let out a quick laugh. "Smart one, you. What about you, Sunny? Want to give it a try?"

I chewed my lip for a moment. "Sure. Hit me. Give me something hard."

Script smirked.

"And the phoenix, always flitting, she is sitting, still is sitting. On the pallid bust of crown, just above my chamber door. And her eyes have all the seeming of a monster that is dreaming, and the lamp-light o’er her streaming throws her shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor shall now be lifted, forevermore.” Script recited, stressing almost every other syllable.

I stared at him blankly.

“No idea. Did you just come up with that?”

Script nodded. “The trick was I spoke it in trochaic meter, and as I dropped the final syllable, the last line is a catalectic line.”

I continued to stare at him blankely.

“You said give you something hard.” Script shrugged.

I turned to face Noi, who was giggling into her hoof.

“This is normal here. Dad is not so good with other ponies, but he’s really good at writing and reading! He’s super smart!”

Script smiled again, ruffling Noi’s mane. “My dad senses were ringing, I felt the presence of sad fillies. Such things will not be tolerated in my household.”

Alright, this guy wasn’t that bad. A bit weird, but altogether alright.

“But that’s not the only reason I’m here.” Script’s smile dropped and his face became deadly serious. “I ran into Golden and Miss Cheerilee speaking outside, Sunny. Or uh, Jenny? Can’t tell which of you is fronting right now. And, well… how do you feel about homeschooling?"

Back to the Basics

"Homeschool?" I repeated. I guess that made the most sense, given my lack of proper pony knowledge. But how would that work?

"Who would be teaching me? Especially since I can't read Ponish, that'd be a difficult curriculum to build." I asked, raising a brow and flicking my ears off to an angle.

Please say you and not Golden. She makes me feel weird.

"Most likely me." Script responded. "I work at home anyway. Golden does not."

"What do y'all do anyway?"

"Well, Golden is sort of like a crop health inspector. In any other town but Ponyville and Fillydelphia she would not need to be working like that as often, but as both those towns border on the Everfree Forest, there are countless pests or magical conditions that can affect the food and negatively impact ponies. I, on the other hoof, am an author."

"Huh." I replied slowly. "What do you write?"

Script shrugged. "Got a couple Canterlot Best Sellers really recently with the horror genre."

I nodded. "Must help living next to the Everfree then, not only as inspiration, but probably helps sell the horror factor given how close you live to it."

"Smart girl." Script chuckled, ruffling my mane. With a quick laugh, I pulled away.

"Careful, I bite." I warned playfully. The smile disappeared from Script's face.

"Sorry." He apologized. "Should have asked before I touched you. Was that okay?"

"Completely fine." I waved a hoof dismissively. "You're just being a dad. Besides, if I'm laughing, it probably means it was fine, for future reference."

The smile returned to his face. "Ah, noted. Lovely."

"Girls!" Golden shouted from the kitchen. "Come in here, please!"

I suppressed a sigh. I really didn't want to dignify that with a response, but figured it had to do with the education element, so I'd have to cope.

Noi pranced over to the door with a grin and held it open for Script and me, and I, being the usual boss bitch that I am, led the three of us into the kitchen.

Golden was still standing there with Cheerilee, who was busy scribbling some notes on a paper. Noi burst in, making a loud entrance, and enthusiastically greeted Cheerilee.

"Good afternoon Miss Cheerilee!"

Cheerilee dropped her pencil and looked up, smiling when she saw Noi. "Well hello there Noi. Enjoying summer break?"

"Yup!" Noi bounced.

"Ready to come back to school?"

"Absolutely not." Noi straightened up, her enthusiasm instantly gone. Golden and Cheerilee both laughed.

Cheerilee turned to me. "So I've thought about it, and punishing you by sending you back several school years, just because you didn't grow up around ponies is just silly. I'd like to propose a homeschooling alternative, and I can help adapt the curriculum to your unique circumstances. I don't want you to think you're stupid, just-"

"In a unique position." I interjected. "Yeah, no, I agree. That's the most sensible solution."

Cheerilee nodded. "The first big thing should be to read and write Ponish, but before that… Noi, could you please educate Jenny here on our counting system while I go fetch some papers that may help with learning to read?"

Noi gasped and nodded eagerly, grabbing a paper and pencil and running over the living room couch.

I followed her slowly, trying to deal with the sudden realization I was going to have to relearn everything I knew.

"So you never learned math?" Noi asked innocently, watching me make my way onto the couch with all the speed and enthusiasm of a brain dead sloth with four broken legs.

“No, like, it’s not that I never learned math, just... we Kirin use… different characters.” I chose the little white lie.

God, I was about to be taught basic math by somebody half my age. Just kill me now, save me from more embarrassment.

“Oh, okay.” Noi nodded slowly. “In that case, we can go over some numbers and I’ll show you what they mean and the way we write them.”

Noi started off by drawing what looked like the pi symbol without a flattened end on the left side.

“This is zero.”

Next she drew a symbol that just looked like two right triangles squished together.

“This is one.”

Two came in the form of a cartoonish drawing of an inchworm. Three was a circle with a vertical line through it, and four looked just like the infinity symbol.

“So then after that we have this.” Noi smiled as she drew the triangle and then the pi-like symbol.

“That’s five? You re-use symbols that early?” I asked, eyebrows stitching together.

“Five?” Noi arched an eyebrow. “No, I’ve never heard of that, this is ten.”

I felt a shiver go up my spine at that and my ears flattened themselves to my head. That wasn’t good if she didn’t recognize five. That would mean…

I hurriedly grabbed the pencil off the couch, pausing as I tasted blueberries. Huh, flavored erasers. I did my best to write out what fourteen should look like, with my mouth, then drew the symbol for two next to the symbol of zero.

“Is this right?” I asked slowly, already dreading the answer.

“Uh, yeah. It is,” Noi replied equally as slowly, fixing me with a puzzled expression. “Why do you look so confused?”

I let out a groan as the realization hit me, slamming my face into my cushion.

Dammit! Ponies used fucking base five. Because of course this couldn’t just be easy.

This meant it was gonna take forever to learn this math. And when they got to multiplication and division… This was going to be a pain in the ass.

Even in the cartoonish world of ponies, I was bound to be the stupid one.

"I don't understand." Sunny spoke slowly. "They're missing five through eight. Why is that?"

"What about nine?" I asked Sunny. Noi furrowed her brows and cocked her head at me.

"I have never heard of that before you said it earlier." Sunny responded slowly and unsurely.

Great, so ponies used base five and kirin used base nine. Let's just make this as inconvenient as possible for everyone involved, huh? Fuck you, Equestrian math.

"You see, Noi." I began through gritted teeth. "I'm used to having fiv- uh, ten more numbers in my system before reaching ten."

Noi snorted. "That's dumb. How would it make any sense?"

I could do nothing but shake my head. This was a bad start. How hard was learning the language gonna be if I had to learn everything I thought I knew about math in a different base?

Fuck it, time to face the music. I looked over the couch to see Script's horn lit up, a quill tracing quickly over another paper. After a moment he seemed to notice me watching him and looked up.

"Hey Jen, just working on examples of our scripts that we can use to teach you." He smiled.

Oh hell no. Nobody but Maria calls me "Jen".

"Please do not call me Jen." I replied quickly. "And can you tell me about the different scripts?"

Script paused and rubbed his chin. "What about Gem? It's different, but sounds a little similar."

I shrugged. "If you want."

Script smiled and nodded, then made his way over to the couch with three papers held in his magical grasp. He took a seat on the side opposite Noi, who clambered over to see what he had worked on with me.

The first paper he showed me had a six by six square of rather straight, simple characters. Most of them looked like rectangles with different gaps. It reminded me of Hiragana.

"This is earth pony script." He began. "It's always been rather straight since the earth pony tribes initially carved in stone, forever ago. The script has evolved since, but looks very similar."

He pulled out another six by six paper, this one with much more fluid characters. Not too showy, but definitely more graceful than earth pony script.

"This is pegasus script. Theirs has changed the most out of the three. It st-

"Wait…" I interrupted. "Three scripts, right? Are they based on syllables rather than letters?"

"That's right!" Script nodded. "All but these eleven vowels at the top here." He pointed at the first row of six.

Wait, eleven? There's only… oh yeah, base five. Fuck.

"And then there's the unicorn script." He continued, pulling out an unfinished sheet. As I expected, they were the most complex and ornate characters. "There are actually more than a hundred twenty one characters in this script, unlike the other two, as there are many characters that were designed with one specific meaning. Like-"

"Kanji." I whispered out loud, my heart hammering away in my chest and a manic smile forcing itself on my face. Three scripts, one language, even the baseline rules were the same. This was great! I was fluent in Japanese by the time I was eight, and these apparently had the same rules! I could actually do this!

"I can do this." I barked out a short laugh, then still riding that joy, another, longer one. I loved studying languages. The entire process was full of small rewards for every word learned, and seeing somebody from another country and breaking out in their language always got great reactions. I wasn't as good at learning languages as I was at math, but having traveled all around a bunch of different countries I was passable in at least four languages. About to be five, with Ponish. Or maybe four and a half. I was already speaking it and just the writing part was different.

"Uh, Sunny? Or uh, Jenny?"

"Sorry." I shook my head, chasing off the thoughts. "I'm paying attention. What's next?"

I went to draw the unicorn script paper close to me, to start trying to come up with mnemonics for remembering the characters, when Script stopped me with a hoof.

"Easy there slugger, this isn't a whole lesson. This is just an example. Cheerilee is bringing better materials we can use to teach you, remember?"

There was something so paternal, so familiar in the way he called me "slugger" that made me think of my dad. I hadn't seen him in over a year and a half, minus video calls. And now I'd never see him again. I looked up at Script, who was busy filling out the unicorn script sheet more, and couldn't help but feel that same sort of reverence. Sure, he was still kind of a stranger, but there's no doubt he cared and actually wanted to fill the role of a father figure in Sunny's life.

And maybe mine too.

I hid scooting closer to him under the guise of stretching out and looking closer at what he was writing. I figured that the last thing I needed to worry about was his reaction. It definitely seems he was a little socially deficient. And ultimately, if Cheerilee took the rest of the night to return… well, I was perfectly happy where I was. I let his long-winded explanation on the history of Ponish drift by me as I pressed my head against his side, letting out a long sigh and being the most relaxed I'd felt thus far. At least while sober. I may not be able to read or do complex math yet, but those were still only yet.

Ultimately, my position could be a lot worse.

Author's Note

I dun did write a hoers. I hope you enjoy.

The Best Tapeworm Ever

There was a gentle knocking on the front door.

"Whuzzit… what?" I blinked awake, noticing I had my cheek squished up against the side of Script's ribs. I straightened up and shook my head, hoping my cheeks weren't as red as they felt. What was with this body, falling asleep everywhere? Man, I could have used that skill when I was in my human body.

I moved away just in time as the door swung open, Cheerilee leading Golden in, both wearing saddlebags stuffed with books and loudly laughing.

Golden looked over my way and covered her mouth with a hoof. "Aww dear, did we wake you? I'm sorry."

"Nope. I'm… I was always awake." I responded sleepily. "I don't even sleep ever. And I'm not a dear."

"Of course not, my little ray of sunshine." Golden cooed, walking over and smoothing down what must be horrible bedmane. I instantly pulled away and tried patting down my hair myself.

"Dear, I don't think we need a fireplace anymore." Script joked. "Sunny here is almost as warm as actual fire. Heated up quite a lot as soon as her eyes closed. Give her a long night and I think we can heat the house."

I snuck a look back at his side and saw his fur ruffled from where I had been pressed against him. The little bit of skin I could make out looked more red than the surrounding skin.

I dropped my gaze to the cushion I was sitting on. God, I just wished I could disappear. I kept burning those I actually cared about.

"Ooh, I think you loosened the bad muscle in my back." Script exclaimed, stretching out and swinging his forelegs side to side. I heard a loud crack. "That's much better. Thanks, Gem."

I could feel my face burning hotter.

"It's nice to see you already fitting in, Jenny." Cheerilee opened a book on the couch and turned to smile at me. "I know both of these ponies and I just think they'll make the best foster parents."

"So!" I interrupted quickly. All the affection was making me feel really uncomfortable really quickly. "Uh, you have something you think will help?"

"Of course." Cheerilee nodded, hiding her smile. I'm guessing she picked up on the vibes emitting from me and acted on it. She dropped a paper and pencil in front of me. "So what I'm picking up is that the system of numbers you use is what we call base twenty. Or decimal. Would I be correct in saying that Sunny uses the same system?"

I shook my head. "She has one last number before ten in uh, in decimal."

Cheerilee paused, chewing on her lip as she stared at the spot on the couch next to me. "That sounds like… quatrapental. I'm sure I can find the equations for that."

There were a few moments of silence as Cheerilee riffled through her book, before Script piped up.

"I don't think that will be necessary yet."

He levitated a paper over to me that was full of rows of numbers. There were large gaps in between. It ended at what looked to be forty four. Well, forty four in base five.

"Could you fill in your version of the numbers next to each of our versions of the numbers?" Script asked, his face expressionless.

A minute later, I had one through twenty four written out on the sheet, and an intense distaste for mouth writing, no matter how genius flavoured erasers were.

"Okay, so let's say this…" he pointed at a human number.

"Fourteen." I clarified.

"Plus this…" he continued.

"Four."

"Is what?"

"Eighteen." I replied automatically, staring at Script.

"Is eighteen written down on that?" Script smiled.

I looked back down at the sheet, a realization dawning on me. Eighteen was there, next to two of the numbers that looked like a circle with a line through it. It only took a moment to translate.

"Which for you would be thirty three…" I responded breathlessly.

"So if we were to ask you what twenty four-" he drew his hoof across the number next to fourteen. "-plus four is, it would be what, for us?"

"Thirty three." My voice was nearly a whisper.

I stared up at Script, my eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He had made a… a conversion chart. If I could get a bigger version of this I would only need to convert bases with bigger numbers! And we could even make one for Sunny! This stallion was such a genius I could just kiss him! Of course, this begs the question of why didn’t I just think of that, but… eh.

"Oh my god, you're a genius." I grinned manically at Script. He was instantly my new favorite person. Well, pony, but whatever.

"Oh my what?" Noi asked from the other side of Script. I ignored her.

"That's smart, Written Script." Cheerilee gave a little half smile. "But I would like you to still teach converting bases. It's a reliable equation for higher level mathematics."

Script nodded and gave me a quick wink, and I was suddenly feeling a whole lot more confident in this whole homeschooling thing.

"I also brought along a couple papers that young foreign exchange students can use for the language, but it does break it down to a very basic lev-" Cheerilee continued.

"I already speak it and this is hardly my first time writing a new language." I interrupted. "I just need some time to assign some mnemonics, and spelling shouldn't be too different."

Cheerilee didn't respond for a few moments. Her eyes wide.

"You speak multiple languages?"

"Ya khorosho govoryu pa-russki." I responded with a smirk. "También en otros idiomas."

Four blank stares answered me.

"I… well." Cheerilee answered slowly. "That first section sounded a little similar to the old Griffon language, but I've never heard…"

"How many languages do you speak?" Noi asked from my right.

"Four." I shrugged.

Noi blinked slowly. "You can speak four languages but can't count to ten? You're the weirdest pony I've ever seen."

"I'm also not a pony." I replied dryly.

"Wow." I heard her make a tiny gasp. "Coolest. Sister. Ever."

I pretended not to smile. I think Noi bought it.

"Or coolest tapeworm ever?" Noi scratched at her chin and stared at the ceiling. "I've never met a tapeworm either."

"I…" I deadpanned. "Noi, for the last time, I'm not a tapeworm."

"Are you sure you're not a tapeworm? Did you crawl into her brain?" Noi asked, fire in her eyes.

"If I'm lying may Celestia strike me down." I chuckled.

For a few moments everyone was quiet. I rubbed my good foreleg on my chest, as if shining an apple.

"Well she hasn't struck me down so-"

"Wait, the trip from Canterlot probably takes a while." Noi insisted.

"Are you... Are you serious?"

"Well yeah, it's on a giant mountain miles away, silly." Noi rolled her eyes.

"Can't she teleport?" I retorted.

"Well I dunno. I never met her." Noi responded as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Y'know, not even gonna try with that one.

"So um, what now?" I questioned, turning to Cheerilee.

Cheerilee let out a short laugh. "Well judging from the lack of casual divine intervention, I was going to suggest you and Noi get some sleep while I work on a curriculum with Golden Harvest and Written Script."

"I just… just woke up." My body chose the absolute worst time to yawn. "I can learn some more. C'mon, hit me."

Cheerilee cocked her head to the side and chuckled. "While I love to see a pony enthusiastic to learn, good fillies must get their rest. You got a growing body to support and a broken leg to heal. Plus all those other boo-boos from the timberwolf."

"Timberwolf?!" Noi cut in loudly, crossing her forelegs and pouting. "You told me you were attacked by a manticore!"

Cheerilee looked from Noi to me, an eyebrow raised and a side smile on her face.

"Eh." I shrugged. "The manticore story was cooler. And I guess yo-" another yawn cut me off. Damn, was this kid narcoleptic or something? "Mmm, guess you're right."

I followed Noi slowly as she led me back to our room. She, of course, still had pep in her step.

"Wanna see the comic book I'm making?" Noi asked eagerly. "It's gonna be called 'The Adventures of Phenyx!'"

I shrugged and plopped down on my side, back to the fishtank for light, as Noi pulled a stack of colorful stapled papers towards me.

Noi made her way around to my back and plopped on me, resting her stomach on my side and opening the first page of the comic book.

"Wow, you really are warm." Noi commented. "This is nice."

"Uh…" I struggled to speak. "What are you doing?"

"Laying on you." Noi responded casually, as if I was just asking about the weather. "'Cause you're warm."

"Well yes, I see that. But like… we don't know each other that well." I hesitated.

"We're sisters now." Noi arched an eyebrow at me. "What, is this weird where you're from? I mean I can move if you want, but I don't really want to."

"Kirin do this too." Sunny chipped in. "It's not weird for us. Just be careful you're not squished between two bigger Kirin laying on each other. That can get a bit too warm."

"It is kinda weird." I admitted.

Noi's ears flopped and her vision dropped to the ground. "Oh, okay. Sorry."

Damn guilt tripping kids. It probably wasn't on purpose, but...

"Okay, you can stay." I sighed. Noi's manic smile returned. "Tell me about this comic. What is this main character?"

"She's a faun, you dork." Noi responded sassily. "I'll leave the page open so you can read. Tell me when to turn."

I massaged the side of my muzzle. "Noi, I can't read your language, remember?"

"Aw, nuts." Noi complained. "I forgot. I can just read it to you!”

Oh joy.

“You don’t seem very interested.” Sunny noted. “I can feel it. Do you want me to take over? I’m interested in this faun character and you can get some rest.”

I nodded and a quick dizzy spell later, Sunny was in charge of the body again.

“Okay, so…” Noi started. “It all began during a cold winter’s day in the den hidden in the depths of the Everfree…”

“In Noi’s defense, it is much less contrived than I’d expect a story made by somebody her age. And I can easily see living with Script has widened her vocabulary a good bit.” I commented.

“I dunno what contrived means…” Sunny spoke in our head, still in control of the body and crawling into bed. “But I thought it was pretty good!”

Sunny froze, her eyes scanning the sheets below her.

“Uhm… Jenny? I know we’ve had a very… intense week together, but… well, it's just... Back when I had King and Orange and all them... Um... I always told them I loved them even if nobody else loved them or believed in them every night before I went to sleep, and now that I have somebody else here with me... I know we just met, but-”

“And all I've done so far is hurt you and mess things up.” I retorted.

“You just woke. You were confused and lost. I know you were trying your best. I forgive you. Please forgive yourself.” Sunny continued, an unsure tone in her voice.

“Being that kind and forgiving will have people walking all over you, kid.” I replied bluntly, scratching the side of my nose.

“So, okay, no... Uh... Goodnight, Jenny.”

I let out a long sigh. “G’nite, kid."

“Mickey.” I greeted the bartender with a forced smile and quick nod as I slid into my usual seat at the end of the bar. “The usual.”

The old Russian man nodded and turned his back to me, reaching for a long, transparent bottle behind him. A quick pour later, and I was looking at a long, completely clear glass.

I took a long sip and relaxed on my stool as the alcohol ate away at the tension locked in my shoulders and back. Fucking tests were murder on my stress levels. If I needed to spend one more minute studying the bones of the hand I was going to-

“Well if it ain’t the new girl.” Came a silky voice from my right. I choked on my drink as I swung my head to the newcomer. When I saw who it was, I froze in place. Looking back at me was at least six feet of pure, curvy, tan, feminine beauty. She had blonde hair just past her shoulders, with the tips dyed red. Long eyelashes, black eyeshadow, and bright pink lipstick. She was wearing a bright blue t-shirt and skinny jeans. She was the kind of beauty you’d see in magazines, not in seedy bars talking to people like me.

I swallowed and instinctually looked behind me. I don’t know why, I knew it was the wall, but still…

“Nah, cutie, talking to you.” She teased, biting down slightly on her lower lip in a way that made the room feel twenty degrees warmer all of a sudden.

Oh my god. Holy fuck. Was she flirting with me?

“Damn, can’t speak English?” She winked.

I swallowed hard. “Uh, hi.”

She slid into the stool next to me, fluttering her eyelashes at the bartender “Hey Nicholas, can I get something sweet?”

“Konechno.” Mickey responded, turning his back again to mix a drink.

“So new girl, what did you call Nicholas earlier?”

“Oh, um...” God, why did this already feel like an interrogation? The room was hotter than the middle of July and I think my cheeks were on fire. “Mickey. Nicholas is his American name. I was calling him by his native name. Well, my nickname for him. He uh… served with… my dad. In the Marines."

Her eyes flickered to my hair and back. “Yup, figures you were a military brat. You serve yourself?”

Shit, was that an insult or not? Jesus, nobody had ever taught me to talk to girls, much less Amazonian demigods in human form.

“Uh, no. I mean I considered it, but uh…”

“Ah, well in that case, Senior Airman Maria Johnson, at your service.” The goddess did a little bow.

“Uhm, Jenny Böhr.” I responded softly. “Chair Force or Navy?"

There was a moment of quiet where all the color drained from my face as I realized what I just said.

“I mean Air F-”

There was suddenly a finger pressed against my lips. “It’s okay. I’m not gonna take offense to something like that. Yes, Air Force.” She took her time taking her finger off my face and I think my entire face was on fire by this point. “Forgive me, your name sounds German but you look, ah, somewhat asian.”

“My mom was Korean.” I answered quickly.

“Interesting. Tell me, what are you majoring in? I’ve seen you all over campus.” Maria spoke slowly, sweetly. I felt my brain filling up with fog. I’d never seen this lady before, on or off campus.

“Um, nursing. You?”

“Oh, I’m not a student here. I’m just visiting my sister for a few weeks on leave.” She chewed softly on her lower lip in a way that did things to me. Like, I was going to need a towel soon if she didn’t stop. “Are you here for the drinks, or you looking for some female accompaniment tonight?”

My face was definitely on fire now.

“How did you…” Was I that obvious? Oh god, what was going on?

She let out a chuckle, scanning my outfit. “Really? A messy bun and a flannel. Your outfit screams ‘lesbian’.”

I blinked hard. “That’s a thing?”

She rolled her eyes and smiled. “Yes, Jen. So, am I barking up the wrong tree?”

There was no way. Storytale things like these didn’t happen to me. I was a nerd with anger issues and glasses, not some… princess.

“What’s the catch?” I asked bluntly.

Maria closed her eyes and smiled, savoring the moment. “Oh, I do so love it when girls know I’m playing with them. Tell you what, we play a little game. I win a drinking contest, you pay for my drinks the rest of the night. You win, I pay for yours. And maybe if things go well… who knows?”

Oh, now it was definitely going my way. Thank you, Lady Luck.

“Tell you what, if I win…” I grinned. “I get your number, instead.”

Maria let out a slow, sultry laugh. “Oh honey, you got yourself a deal.”

“Mickey, desyat' ryumok vodki, pozhaluysta.” I gave the bartender a quick wink. He responded with a sly smile.

“You speak Russian?” Maria’s sure grin faltered.

“Oh honey, you should have found out a bit more about me before you challenged me to a drinking challenge.” I winked. “This is my bar.”

Author's Note

A big thank you to guest pre-reader Lemonshrike Carworty.

Culmination

Knock knock knock

"Giiiirls!" A sudden voice cut through the dark, booting me from the void.

I opened my eyes. Well, we opened our eyes. It was strange. It was almost like I was looking through the eyes of the body Sunny and I shared, but also was back in the mind room looking at the screen at the same time.

I… or we, rolled onto our stomach and limply let our head hang over the mattress, just in time to watch Noi herself flump onto the floor. She was wearing what looked like a cyan hoodie with wing designs on the side. She seemed content in laying on the floor and didn't pick herself up.

Sunny let out a loud groan, and with a sudden mental click, I was back soundly in the mind room, slumped on one of the chairs.

"Whaswiththefakecoat?" Sunny mumbled down at Noi. Noi responded with a loud grumble, before rolling onto her side. I could see the side of what looked like Rainbow Dash's cutie mark across her chest. Cute.

"Never seen a hoodie before?" I asked.

"A what?" Sunny responded with a yawn.

"Like, a hooded sweatshirt."

"Dunno what that is either."

"A… heavy shirt?"

"What's a shirt?"

"Are you actually messing with me or do you not know what clothes are?"

"No. You front, I'm sleep." Sunny mumbled aloud, and with another mini dizzy spell, I was in control of the body.

Well, that was interesting.

I ambled my way down the ladder and nosed at Noi. "C'mon kiddo, time to get up."

With another grunt, Noi used me to pull herself up, and with a quick movement, leapt onto me. The sudden impact almost knocked me over.

"Carry me." Noi whined.

"Absolutely not." I responded firmly, sitting down so Noi rolled off my body. She was surprisingly light, so I could have carried her with little issue, but I'm not a goddamn taxi. "You got four perfectly good legs. I can't even say that."

With a drawn out, melodramatic moan, Noi forced herself to her hooves. One of her eyes was closed and the other one was fluttering closed. Noi was apparently one of those morning zombie kids.

Understandable, honestly.

I led her out the door, her stumbling around like a drunkard. We made our way to the kitchen, me looking over my shoulder every couple seconds to make sure she hadn't collapsed in the hallway.

After Noi had made it to her seat, used the stool to jump into her chair, and rested her head on the table, I jumped into the only empty seat with ease. Despite kirin being quadrupeds and humans being bipeds, it seemed like my current back legs were much more powerful, as I cleared almost my own height with that leap.

Then again I've heard about the results of people being kicked by horses, so I guess judging leg strength by anatomy would be a stupid idea. Horses are strong. Especially horses that are also half dragon.

Golden placed a steaming bowl of oatmeal in front of me. Plain, flavorless oatmeal, from the look of it. I suppressed a sigh. It was free food.

"What would you like to drink, my tiny ray of sunshine?" Golden asked with a sly smile, pulling two cartoons out of the fridge. "We have apple juice and orange juice."

"Whiskey on the rocks." I ordered with a big smile. "Hold the rocks."

Golden's frown and unamused expression answered me. Her brows furrowed.

"And hold the whiskey." I grumbled. "Orange juice, please."

"That's much better." Golden's smile returned, pouring orange juice into two glasses and placing them in front of Noi and me. She turned to Noi.

"Now, if a certain little filly doesn't wake up, I may just have to call the tickle monster on her."

For just a second, I could see Golden lock eyes with Script, who looked like he was reading a newspaper on the living room couch. He winked back.

Noi bolted upright. "No, I'm awake! No monsters need to come for me!"

"What a shame." Golden put on a fake pout. "'Cause he's already here."

"Wha-" Noi began, only to be interrupted by Script sneaking up behind her and tickling her ribs. Noi burst out in a sudden giggling fit. With a quick movement, Script picked her up and, ears straight back to avoid any kicking hooves, started blowing raspberries on her stomach. Noi's giggling somehow shot higher in pitch and volume as she flailed all four legs around.

A moment later Noi was back in her chair, breathing heavily with a manic smile on her face. Script turned to me. "I don't suppose Jenny wants a visit from the tickle monster too?"

I let out a dry chuckle. "No, thanks."

Script shrugged.

"The other two aren't wearing the fake coats, though." Sunny noted. With an unexpected rush, I found myself back in the mind room.

"Uh, excuse me?" Sunny asked, shifting her forehooves around.

"Yes, what is it, Sunny?" Script asked.

"Wh- wait, how could you tell we switched?"

Script's eyebrow shot up. "Body language. Jenny sits more openly, in a more dominating pose, while you look like you're trying to make yourself small–at least in comparison." Script nodded. "Also your tone was higher, which gives off a more timid feeling.”

I could see Noi giggling into her oatmeal in our peripheral vision. Golden merely smiled.

"Wow.” Sunny said. I'll admit I was impressed too.

Script shrugged. "I've never been good at reading between the lines. Reading body language became really important to me..." He reached over and ruffled Noi's mane gently; she leaned into his hoof. "It's how I’m able to tell if my favorite hellion here is actually mad or just playing with me, sometimes. Anyway, what's your question?"

"Oh, uh…" Sunny pointed at Noi's sweatshirt. "What is that?"

Script looked between Noi and us with a bemused expression.

"That would be Noi, my darling stepdaughter. Or if you prefer the scientific name, Noi-icus Ponicus. I believe you're already acquainted."

"No, I mean," Sunny chuckled. "I mean the blue thing around her. Jenny says it's a 'clothes', but I don't know what that is."

"Kirin don't have clothes?" Golden piped up from the other side of the table. "What do you do when you get cold?"

"I…" Sunny cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brows. "I'd just run hotter. Every calf knows how to change their internal temperature. I mean, not babies, they learn it from their parents, but… yeah."

"You can regulate your own temperature by will?" Script asked excitedly. "Ponies can't do that. That's really interesting!"

"Oh, yeah. That's um… that's why Jenny burned you last night." Sunny explained to Script while I pretended I wasn't there. "She wasn't trying to burn you, she was just happy and doesn't know how to control her temperature yet. She’s sorry. I mean, she didn't say it, but I can tell."

"Ah, it's fine." Script waved Sunny off. "Iced it, let it settle, and it was right as rain."

"Wait, what?" Sunny's voice took on a sudden high pitch. "Rain has opinions? Is pony rain alive? Ooh, is it because the pegasussuses do bird magic with the clouds?"

Script covered his mouth with a hoof as Golden snorted loudly into her oatmeal.

"...What?" Sunny stared at Golden.

"Oh nothing," Golden's chest heaved with silent laughter. "That was just the most adorably innocent thing I've ever heard you say."

"Right as rain is a figure of speech." Script explained with a sideways smile. "It essentially means working as intended."

"Oh." Sunny stared at the table quietly. I could feel her cheeks burning through the mind room. "That makes more sense than rain that's alive."

"Mhm." Script chuckled. "So how exactly does regulating your own heat work? Is it emotion based, or is it something like excreting something from your skin to cool you off?"

Yeah Script, because Sunny is obviously a fucking lizard. You can tell by the way she blinks sideways and is clearly cold blooded.

"No, I think it's magic based." Sunny hummed quietly. "It's mainly by choice and practice, but emotions can play a part. When sad, your temperature might drop, or when angry, it will rise. I think I learned in school that going Nirik is kind of related to that. When your body gets to a certain heat because you're angry or scared, it causes a defense instinct thing, and pumps you full of…" Sunny paused, chewing on her lip.

"Adrenaline?" I offered.

"Yeah, adrenaline!" Sunny chirped. "Depending on the amount released, we can go either a little bit or all the way Nirik! We can also kind of make ourselves show a little bit of our Kirin side without the adrena-whatever."

A mixture of "oohs" and "ahs" came from the three ponies.

"So is it something you just instinctively know?" Golden pressed. "Or is it completely learned?"

Sunny took a moment to chew on her lips, thinking of how to best explain the phenomenon.

"Every adult Kirin has a temperature they burn at normally, and I think I learned in school calves can find their parents by their specific temperature before we open our eyes." Sunny explained. "We got used to a specific temperature while growing inside our moms, so that's how we can identify them. And then until we learn, we just kind of use them to keep warm through winters and stuff. Our houses are a little more…" Sunny paused, looking around the room." They have more spaces cold air can come in, since our ceilings are thatched."

"What's 'thatched' mean?" Noi cocked her head to the side.

"Oh it's like, made with plants and branches and stuff." Sunny responded.

"Can you teach me to control my own temperature?" I asked Sunny.

"Sure!" Sunny replied enthusiastically in our mind conversation.

"That's really interesting." Golden smiled. "Hope you don't boil us alive today, though."

"I… what?" Sunny responded unsurely.

Golden furrowed her brows. "Did I not tell you we were going swimming at the lake today?"

Sunny slowly shook her head.

Golden sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Sorry. My memory isn't what it used to be these past few years. I swear I thought I told you. Do you have a problem with that?"

Hmm, she has memory problems, and still looks pretty young. She did say she had an addiction to painkillers at one point. Maybe she hurt her head? Or maybe I'm drawing connections where there are none.

"I um…" Sunny hesitated. "Don't know how to swim. We don't have any lakes where I'm from."

Golden waved her off with a hoof. "No problem. I can teach you how if you'd like. Or you can hang on the shore with Script. He's not a big swimmer."

Sunny instantly perked up. "Ooh, I'd love to learn!"

Something inside me begged to make a sarcastic comment or a joke about that… but this was the longest time Sunny had been out, and easily the most social she'd been. I didn't want to put that in jeopardy.

"Is it… hard to learn?" Sunny asked tepidly.

Golden fixed us with a sympathetic smile. "I can teach you the pony paddle in just a minute, but more swimming styles will take a bit of practice to get used to. Don't worry, I've taught Noi already and swimming is one of her favorite things to do!"

"I'm basically part fish!" Noi chirped.

Sunny paused, taking a few moments to take some deep breaths. "I-if you're a fish, why am I the one with scales?"

That got a few good chuckles out of everybody, and Sunny relaxed.

"Will it take all day?" Sunny asked, picking up her spoon and taking a big bite of oatmeal.

"No, only a few hours. Actually, we didn't have any plans for after going swimming, kiddo. Is there anything you want to do?" Golden smiled.

"I..." Sunny began, straightening out and tensing right back up. "I want to see Smoky."

Golden rubbed her chin. "I'm afraid I don't know quite where she is at, unfortunately."

"The nurse said she was being fostered by Berry Punch, dear." Script offered with a small smile.

Golden rolled her eyes and facehooved, and Script's eyes shot open.

"I-I mean, she might have." Script sheepily rubbed the back of his neck. "Couldn't say for sure."

"I.." Sunny spoke up, determined. "I want to see my sister."

"Yesss!" I hissed. "Assert yourself, kid!"

Sunny put her spoon down with a resounding clunk. Golden didn't return eye contact.

"You can't keep me from her." Sunny spoke. Although I can tell she was trying to act brave, I could feel her muscles all seizing up and the trepidation in her voice. "She's the only family I have left."

I didn't dare respond to that. That was the closest Sunny had come to discussing her family at all. My thoughts were apparently shared by Golden and Script, both who were silently watching Sunny.

Golden bowed her head for just a moment, then met Sunny's eye contact. "I'll see if I can talk to Berry about having you two meet under observation, okay? But it won't be today at least."

I could feel our body temperature rising. In our peripherals I could make out tiny puffs of smoke escaping from our fetlocks.

"We don't need to be observed." Sunny's voice had dropped all trepidation, she was now speaking clearly and strongly. "She's been watching out for me almost since I was born."

"Ooh, I can do it!" Noi piped up enthusiastically, completely failing at reading the room. "Berry's daughter Ruby is a good friend of mine!"

Script attempted an ice breaker as Sunny caught sight of our smoking fetlocks, her breathing suddenly rapid. "Nice try Noi, but I think your mom meant somepony a little older."

Sunny squeezed our eyes shut, focusing on slow, deep breaths. I could feel our heart pounding in our chest and our skin crawling. With another sudden lurch, I was fronting.

Golden let out a small sigh. "I can't promise we can get a meeting today, sunshine, but I will talk to her this afternoon, okay?"

"That's fine." Sunny told me. I parroted it back to Golden, who responded with a solemn nod.

For another few minutes we ate in relative silence. Well, as silent as it gets when you live with somebody like Noi, who was yammering on and on about swimming or something to Sunny, who swapped back after taking some time to cool off. I found that even though I was there, I could kind of… drift off. Not sleep, as it was, but just sort of a… disconnected state.

With a sudden movement, I jerked back to attention. Sunny was getting up, pushing her chair back in.

"Wha- what's going on?" I mumbled.

"We're going to walk to the lake." Sunny answered mentally. "Then Golden is going to teach me to swim."

I was sure glad Sunny would be fronting for that. Since lakes don't have edges like pools, that probably meant Golden was gonna have to hold Sunny up while she practiced her form, and I'll be damned if she would try and do that for me. Fuckin' jump off another train before I let that happen.

"Hey, what's your issue with her?" Sunny challenged. "I think Golden is great!"

There was a tense pause.

"Did you just… read my mind?" I finally managed.

Sunny let out a short laugh. "Well, yeah. We have the same brain, there's not a lot of room for privacy. Can't you read my thoughts, too? I mean, I'm thinking this message to you."

"I… well I understand you now, and get like, bursts of your emotions, but that's mainly it. You're telling me you can hear ALL my thoughts?"

"Yeah." Sunny thought simply. "You and all my other imaginary friends. Some thoughts you've had I definitely wish I could not have understood, though. Like when you thought of Maria. And uh, more of your… adult thoughts."

There were a few more moments of tense silence.

"Oh hun," I whispered. "I am so sorry."

The walk to the lake took about ten minutes. Script was carrying a full simple brown pair of saddlebags, no doubt full of towels and sunscreen and stuff.

The lake was a bit bigger than I expected. It looked like the kind of area you'd take a boat to, or go fishing off of. My frame of reference was obviously a bit skewed, but it looks like it went at least a hundred feet out. The other side was covered in trees, but since it was on the outskirts of the town… was that the Everfree Forest?

Well, it sounds like the family had been here quite a few times so I'm assuming even if it was, it was probably safe.

As we settled down, Script and Golden shared one simple nod, then pulled the sunscreen and started work slathering the no doubt cold, slightly viscous fluid all over us, Golden working on Noi, and Script working on Sunny.

"Bleugh!" Sunny stuck her tongue out as she accidentally got some in her mouth. "What is this gross stuff?"

And why are they putting it on us now, as we're about to go in the water? Did it have magical properties?

"You're not supposed to eat it." Script chuckled. "It's to make sure you don't get burned from the sun."

I could feel a wave of something close to confusion from Sunny.

"How would we be burned if we're in water?"

As Script tried to explain sunburns and ultraviolet radiation in a far too complicated tangent, I idly noticed how the sunscreen seemed a lot thinner than I was used to. Probably because ponies, and by extension kirin, had fur coats that blocked some UV rays.

As Script finished his lecture, Sunny stared blankly at him.

"Do you know how hard it is to burn a creature that can turn into a magical fire monster as easy as-" Sunny picked up and drove her hoof down into the dirt. "-that? We're almost impossible to catch on fire as kirin… or burn at all."

"Damn, got experience with that?" I chuckled. Sunny didn't acknowledge my joke.

Her loss, ignoring my clearly genius, peerless humor.

"Ready?" Noi asked Script, a manic smile on her face.

Script nodded back, flipped over, and held his rear legs up. With a wild shout, Noi got a running start, jumped onto Script's hind legs, and with a mighty buck, Script sent Noi sailing into the air. Noi managed a double front flip before cannonballing into the water. The splash hit both Sunny, who jumped to the side, and Script, who didn't seem to care.

Pushing his now sopping wet mane out of his face, Script laughed and settled down in one of the poolside chairs nearby.

Meanwhile, Golden was blowing up floaties behind us. Sunny turned to stare at her. Instead of explaining, Golden pushed one of the floaties, one of the ones you'd fit around a foreleg, into the water. Sunny followed its gentle bobs with her eyes.

"I want to try holding you up in the water." Golden went on to say. "If you feel like you wanna try swimming alone today, I brought these just in case you had a problem staying afloat."

Splashing over, Noi grinned wildly. "I never needed any since I was born awesome at swimming!"

With a roll of her eyes and a small shake of her head, Golden smiled at us. "She did, she just doesn't want to admit it."

"Mooooooooom!" Noi whined.

Golden let out a chuckle. "I am many things, darling. A liar is not one."

Noi tried crossing her forelegs at that, but ended up only getting a faceful of water. She popped back up with a sheepish grin, eliciting a chuckle from the rest of us.

As Noi did a flip in the water and started swimming the other way, Golden called after her. "Don't swim out farther than you're comfortable with, my little troublemaker."

Noi paused. "Why would I do something like that?"

Golden smiled. "To show off for your new foster sister. Be careful, you."

Noi faked a hurt look before smiling back, then swimming off presumably to do exactly what she was just told not to do.

Ah, kids. Such little shits.

"Hey, throw a look her way every minute or so, make sure she's okay". I instructed Sunny, spotting Noi in her peripherals practicing her breaststroke under the crystal clear waves. Not exactly sure how that works as a quadruped, but didn't care enough to ask either.

Exactly how I expected, Golden was teaching Sunny form by holding her up in the water and having her practice with either her hind legs or forelegs. Every twenty seconds or so, Golden herself would look around, make sure Noi was okay, and turn her attention back to Sunny. Script, in the meantime, was still sitting in his pool chair, reading a book and soaking up rays.

I guess everyone was in a good enough position, and I didn't need to worry about Noi with two fully grown adults nearby, both better at swimming anyway.

I let myself relax, not paying attention to the world around me as I let non-existence swirl around me.

I'm not certain how long I was like that. Could have been minutes, could have been an hour. All I know is that I was suddenly shunted into consciousness by sudden, bone-chilling waves of fear emanating from Sunny.

Looking out our eyes, I could see Noi, and at first I couldn't understand why Sunny was scared. It looked like she was just treading water. Then I noticed what she wasn't doing. She wasn't kicking. She wasn't swimming.

She wasn't breathing.

Her head bobbed under, and in another moment she was up, her chest heaving as she struggled for breath. She wasn't crying out for help, but fixing the sky with a glassy look.

In our peripherals, I could see Golden following her gaze. When she noticed Noi, she let out a startled gasp, then screamed.

"Script! Grab Sunny!" Golden shouted, pushing us toward shore. Script was on his hooves in no time, and streaking straight for us. Golden turned again and set off for Noi, faster than I'd expect a pony able to move in water.

But she wasn't fast enough.

With another wave, Noi went under. She pedaled her forehooves toward shore, looking less like a swimming stroke, and more like she was trying to climb a ladder.

It took two seconds for her to resurface, and when she did she came out coughing, barely enough time to pull in more air before she was dragged under again.

Almost as if it was a dream, I found myself in control. No dizzy spell, no mental click, nothing. My body moving faster than my brain, I pumped all four hooves against the water, instinctively looking for traction. For something to push off of.

A moment later, I found it.

I ran. I ran past the dulled sensation of pain in my bad leg as my brain went into fight or flight, flooding my body with adrenaline and deadening my pain receptors. I ran as every cell of my body filled with power.

Filled with fire.

I sprinted past Golden, all four hooves impacting in an order I hadn't learned yet to push me to a speed I didn't even know I could achieve.

I ran until I was right on top of Noi, who had gone underwater again. Without a moment's hesitation I plunged my head through the waves, and grabbed a mouthful of her mane.

I yanked my head up, Noi's own head breaking the surface with an ease I didn't expect. As her lungs filled with air, she let out a violent coughing fit, spitting water everywhere.

With thoughts of getting her to safety, I turned quickly, digging my hooves in and sprinting back toward shore, the only sound I wasn't blocking out being the coughing, interrupted by small cries of pain as I dragged her by her mane all the way to shore.

Finally we hit sand, and the sudden loss of traction threw off my balance. I landed face first in the hot sand, and both Noi, who I had dropped in surprise, and I tumbled onto the beach right near Script.

In the second it took me to shake off my daze, Script was at Noi's side, holding her up and trying to help her cough out any more water that remained in her lungs. A second later I was at her side, watching over her as she greedily sucked in mouthfuls of air.

"What were you thinking?" I spat, my worries instantly replaced with anger as I stared at her. "You're supposed to be an experienced swimmer, why were you out there so deep when you knew you were tiring out?! You gotta think about this stuff, Jake-"

I squeezed my mouth shut as I realized what I had almost just said.

For a few seconds Noi just stared at me, breathing heavily and not even reacting.

"Did you just…" she managed after several gasps. "...run on water?"

"I-" I shut up, my next accusation dying on my lips. I looked up at the path I had just taken, looking between where we were now and where Noi almost drowned.

The energy started ebbing away as my vision flicked between the two points. It was nothing but water. But I… was running. On what felt like the ground.

I turned back to stare at Script and Noi uncomprehendingly, the latter of the two taking far more normal, deep breaths.

"Uh, Sunny? Can we run on water?" I thought.

"I… don't know. I didn't grow up anywhere near water, except a little creek."

My brain buzzing with too much information, I sank to my haunches.

"Noi! Sunny! Jenny!" Golden shouted, splashing toward us. Her hooves hitting sand, she ran to all our sides. She almost tackled Noi, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Oh my poor baby, are you okay?" She pulled Noi back to look at her face, her eyes flicking between both of Noi's. Noi let out a shaky nod and Golden pulled her back into a hug, finally meeting my eyes, her own full of tears.

"Thank you… I don't know how you did that, but you… you saved her life."

I nodded unsurely, still dazed.

"How did you do that?" Script asked, snapping me out of my stupor. "That was the craziest thing I've ever seen. You looked like a fireball."

"I…" I turned to look at Noi, shivering uncontrollably, her face pressed right into her mom's chest. I heard a high pitched sob. "...don't know. I just kind of… did it."

For a moment we all stood there, letting Noi cry her heart out, watching Golden rub a forehoof up and down her back, before Sunny spoke up.

"I wanna… wanna try something Smoky used to do for me."

I didn't fight back as the familiar dizzy spell pushed me back into the mind room. I sat by and watched as Sunny stood up and slowly made her way to Noi's side, gently placing a hoof on her shoulder.

Noi didn't say anything as she looked up and spotted Sunny, detaching from Golden and throwing her hooves around us, squeezing as hard as she could. Sunny laid her chin down on Noi's shoulder, and just a second later I could feel waves of heat warm every inch of our body. Not like happiness warmth, more like… laying under a heated blanket.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Warming up. Smoky always did it when I was upset. Reminded me of mom. Plus it will help us dry off."

"How does that even work? Do you just have to imagine a fire or something?"

There was an awkward pause.

"Think of every creature under the sun that you love. That you would die for." Sunny responded, then continued on in a softer tone a moment later. "I thought of Smoky… and you."

I think my heart melted a bit at that.

Sure enough, by the time Noi pulled herself off Sunny, her chest was almost completely dry.

Deciding we'd had enough swimming fun that day, Golden told us we were heading back home, before insisting on drying off Noi herself. That wasn't too ultimately useful because Golden kept pausing mid-dry and pulling Noi into a tight hug.

Packing up and the journey back home was relatively quiet, with not a single word spoken.

Noi herself seemed to have pretty much recovered from her experience, though I kept catching Golden shooting backwards looks at her. I assume she was making sure Noi was keeping up with the rest of us, not going internal.

Noi didn't react at all, just staring at the ground as we walked. I kept mulling over whether I should say something, do something, but didn't make a move.

I couldn't help but notice that she walked a lot closer to us on the way back than she did on the way there, though.

Author's Note

Yes, abrupt ending after no updates for a month. It do be like that. Sorry. Life has been chaos incarnate, but the next chapter should come out tomorrow or the next day.

22 Questions

After returning home, Golden quietly stopped us with a foreleg. She leaned down and whispered in our ear.

"I haven't forgotten about what I said at breakfast. I'll go talk to Berry about you meeting with Smoky. And… I guess I can trust you to be alone with her if you swear you're okay with it."

Sunny responded with a smile and quiet nod, pressing against Golden for a moment. A moment that seemed to take forever.

And with that, Golden walked out of the door.

"So uh, while we wait…" Sunny started. "What's that thing you called Noi after saving her? ‘Jake’ something?"

"Somebody from my past life." I answered evasively. "Long story."

"We have time." Sunny fired back.

I sat there for a few moments, thinking over my next course of action.

"Let's make a deal." I finally responded. "I answer one question about my past, you answer one about yours."

I could tell she hated that idea, but when dealing with troubled kids, sometimes you have to press them gently into a compromise.

"Okay, I guess that's fair." Sunny relented, making her way to the couch and laying on her back. "You first?"

I signed. "Jakey is my little brother. He's a bit… special. Like, short bus special. So he'd absolutely show off like Noi was, just to get attention. I mean, I love him… loved him, but he was a complete idiot. My turn."

I could feel a wave of anxiety come from Sunny. What would be a good casual question to ease her into talking about her family?

"How old are you?" I decided that was a good one.

"Sixteen."

"What!? I thought you were way younger. Like, pre-pubescent."

That was an easy fifteen years old in decimal. I was just expecting her to be closer to twelve.

Sunny let out a quiet giggle. "I am. Calves don't start puberty until they're around eighteen. I'm guessing humans have a shorter lifespan? I know I learned that ponies live about a hundred fifty cycles. Kirin usually live closer to eight hundred fifty if they're in good health, so I guess we grow slower."

Well that was a lot of info. It revealed that not only did kirin experience puberty and not heat, which thank fucking god for, but also that kirin definitely were more a mythical race, having lifespans closer to dragons than ponies.

It also revealed that even though it seems kirin in pony towns was uncommon, and ponies didn't understand some things about kirin, like water walking, that kirin seemed to have a basic knowledge of ponies. Now if I was decent at converting from base ten to base nine… ponies lived about a hundred twenty to a hundred thirty years, and kirin? Shit, I'd ballpark that to the early to mid seven hundreds.

"So in terms of maturity and growth between kirin and ponies, how many years old do you think you'd be as a pony?"

Sunny hummed. "Uh, not sure. Only a few cycles older than Noi. Probably… eleven or twelve? When my class visited a pony town, those were the ages of the ponies we hung out with more. Uh, that's eleven or twelve in my counting system, not theirs."

Sunny took a moment to try to convert the numbers in her head.

"Yeah, eleven or twelve."

Okay, that made far more sense.

"My turn." Sunny announced. "Tell me about your dad. You seem to care about him a lot."

"I do." I smiled. "I mean, anybody that can raise both me and my brother deserves all the respect. While growing up, he was a prominent member of a military called the Marines. A bunch of tough bastards. But looking at him, you'd never guess he had a heart of gold. I know he was always under stress, taking care of Jakey and me, but he never crumbled. I did hear him break down at night when he thought we went to bed though. He eventually retired though, after he sent me off to college using his military benefits."

"He sounds great!" Sunny chirped. "I bet I'd love him."

"You absolutely would." I smiled. "But, he had his own vices. Let's just say I inherited his… affection for alcohol. And he always had enough hidden in the house that he never noticed I stole enough to get a shot a day."

Fuck, I could really use a drink. It'd just… make this nicer. More casual. Better.

"I guess that brings me to my next question." Sunny mused. "How old were you when you started drinking?"

"Uhh…" I stalled. That was not a question I wanted to answer. Of course, a drink could make that question easier. "I'd say I was about your age. Young enough where a single shot would have me sailing smooth all day."

A sudden burst of what felt like pain burst from Sunny, sapping the heat from our entire body, tailtip to horn.

"That's… really young." Sunny managed. "Are you an angr- uh, are you gonna be okay without it?"

She cut off a question about me being an angry drunk.

Interesting…

"I left most of the physical symptoms behind in the actually addicted body." I admitted, realizing how lucky I was in regards to getting clean. "But I'd be damned if I don't just… constantly think of how nice a drink would be. Like, just go through life while in a constant state of tipsy."

"I uh… know." Sunny chuckled nervously. "I can hear your thoughts, remember?"

Oh shit.

"My turn to ask a question." I claimed. "What can you tell me about your parents?"

What followed was a long, tense silence.

"Next question." Sunny choked.

I really wanted to remind her of the deal, and that she owed me a question… but shit, that sounded like trauma there. I had to be gentle.

"Sunny," I tried my best to emulate a sympathetic tone. "I share the same brain as you. I'm always gonna be there for you. But you're never gonna feel any better if you hide from your past. I'm not asking you to tell anybody else. Just me. I won't tell a soul if you don't want me to."

For almost a minute Sunny was dead silent. I was about to call it quits when she quietly responded.

"You remember that cow I was telling you about? Autumn Blaze?"

"Yeah," I replied quickly. "I remember you saying she was the… alchemist?"

"Herbalist." Sunny corrected. "She wasn't… wasn't the first one I knew. Bitter Herb, my mom, was the one before her. She was, heh, despite her name, the sweetest kirin you'd ever meet. Always saw the best in everyone and everything. She loved nothing more than helping others, anybody from a tiny chipmunk to the village elder. I loved her so much. But her ability to see the best in everyone led her to my father."

Sunny trailed off, shuddering.

"What was he like?"

Sunny paused again, chewing on her lip.

"Violent."

I could swear I felt my heart skip.

"Did he-"

"No." Sunny replied forcefully. "He didn't hit me. I mean sometimes he shoved me to the side if he was going somewhere and I wasn't moving away fast enough, but…"

Sunny paused for a moment to wipe her eyes.

"Sometimes he was a good father. A good bull. He apologized for all the mean stuff he did, for all his 'mood swings', and was nice to be around. Treated me and Smoky to ice cream and stuff every day. Actually seemed to love us all. Mom loved that version of him, and swore to use all her herbalist knowledge to help him."

Another eye wipe. Another sigh.

"Mom always tolerated his jerk-ishness. But one day, he had another of his mood swings. He… he hit Smoky really hard. I still don't know why. Knocked two of her teeth out. That's when mom threw him out. That was the first time I saw a full Nirik, an-"

Sunny let out a dry sob and buried her face into one of the pillow cushions.

"I hid. I was curled up, and I remember Smoky was holding me, trying to calm me down, blood pouring down her muzzle, and the room was so full of smoke and heat. And I just… hid. Hid behind the kirin that was actually hurt."

"Hey, hey." I crooned, wishing I could be next to her in person, instead of uselessly stuck in her head. "You were just a kid. Still are. Don't beat yourself up about it. Is that why you're so scared every time you start going Nirik?"

Sunny took a moment to sit up, wipe her eyes, and take a few deep breaths. "No. I know mom just did it to protect us."

Okay, so then that was a story for later.

"What happened next?"

"He did leave." Sunny shuffled a bit against the cushion. "I don't know where he went. Smoky doesn't know either. Things went back to normal for a few days. And then…

"Mom always told me I was the best of him. I got the humor, the whole 'seeing art in everything thing', and the prankster nature. I mean we kinda… abused mom's plant knowledge. Heh, once we put a mixture in the elders shampoo that dyed her coat pink. We had a bit of reputation, but nobody ever really did anything to get back at us. It was all in good fun."

Sunny paused for a moment, playing absentmindedly with a string coming off the seam of the couch cushion in front of her.

"Like I said, we didn't see him for another few days. One day Smoky and I were walking home from school, and… well, she stopped me before we opened the door. Looked right in the window and just froze. When she moved next, she told me she forgot she had a big surprise for me somewhere else that she forgot. She led me to the playground, and I didn't see her for another hour at least. That… I… I got tired of waiting, so I decided to go home to grab a snack, see if I could run into her. That's when I saw a bunch of kirin standing around my house, and…"

Sunny's hoof had started smoking, and the string she was playing with had burnt off. She didn't seem to notice though, and was still poking around the cushion.

"Do you know what the punishment for murder is among the kirin?" Sunny asked suddenly.

"Uh, no idea."

"I dunno exactly how it works, but the shaman does some stuff to the brain of kirin who do that stuff. It makes them kinda dumb, makes them react much slower, and they can't use magic. Then… not too far from our village is a fire swamp where a big, mean chimera lives. If the kirin can come back with proof they uh, got rid of it, they can be welcomed back to the city. No kirin has ever defeated the chimera."

"What, so they basically lobotomize them and let them get torn apart by feral beasts? That's kinda… brutal."

"It's not brutal enough!" Sunny shouted out loud, erupting up and stomping on the couch. It left a small black mark against the dark brown fabric. "Not nearly enough!"

"Woah, hey Sunny, I'm sorry. You don't have to go on if you don't want to."

"I…" Sunny took several deep breaths before returning to communicating silently with me. "I don't… I don't remember most of that day. But… seeing mom like that… I can never forget that, no matter how hard I've tried."

"Is that why you're so afraid of confrontation?" I asked softly.

"It's part of the reason." Sunny answered mysteriously. "Please, let's change the topic."

"Of course. What do you wanna talk about?"

"What about Maria? I get you two were uh…" Sunny paused awkwardly. "Good friends."

I laughed. "Good friends? What are you, a history book? No, we were dating."

"Were?" Sunny questioned.

"Well yeah, not like we're in my world anymore. I dunno if she exists anymore. Or at all."

Another moment of silence.

"That's not one hundred percent true. I messed up really badly a few days before I woke up in this world and we split up. So yeah, we were dating."

Sunny let out a weak chuckle. "You, mess up? I don't believe it."

"Hey, you little punk, don't sass me!" I laughed back. "Hey, you're being a lot more social today. I'm real proud of you."

A feeling of warmth tinged with embarrassment washed throughout the body.

"Well, you're easy to be comfortable around. When uh, you aren't getting drunk or being a big ol' butt to others."

"Oh then you'd never get along with me before last week." I grinned. A second later I froze, realizing how true that was. I was known as kind of a cunt in my unit, as I was more focused on getting shit done at work, then getting off so I could drink myself to sleep. No socializing, no jokes, just constant training. My soldiers did not appreciate that.

But that had changed when I got to Equestria.

I guess that's fitting.

"I hope you don't mind me asking." Sunny interrupted my train of thought. "But why did you break up with her? You seem like you really loved her."

Now it was my turn to be embarrassed.

"Actually, she broke up with me. All because I was an idiot. So, Maria and I lived together on base. Her job had her taking a little trip away, where she wouldn't be home for a couple nights." I explained. "One night I decided it was more a 'get drunk at the bar instead of at home' nights. So business as usual, I went to my favorite bar. Saw some friends there, and we started playing drinking games. Take a shot every time you knock a ball in at pool."

"Pool?" Sunny asked.

"Popular game at bars. Play with a long stick and hit balls into holes. Anyway, since I could drink a lot more than all my friends before getting drunk, I ended up playing all of them and getting completely plastered. Long story short, I saw some guys from my unit who were also drunk, and uh… well, I didn't go home alone. I wasn't thinking straight and had an… itch I wanted to scratch."

"What, did they have some poultice that gets rid of itchiness?" Sunny giggled. "Why would they go to your home, then? They'd have it in theirs."

Jesus. I'm about to ruin this kid's innocence. Well, ruin it more.

"In a manner of speaking. I didn't sleep alone that night, let's just say."

"I don't get it."

"Kid, you ever had a reproductive or sexual health class?"

"We did once. It was really gross an-" Sunny froze suddenly. "Oh. OH. EWWW. You did that with a guy?"

"Two guys at once actually." I gave off a sheepish laugh. "They left the next day, and well… when Maria came back she saw the pregnancy tests in the trash. When she confronted me, I told her the truth. I couldn't lie to her. Not about that."

For almost a minute Sunny was silent. When she finally responded, it was in a hesitant, shaky voice.

"At least the tests came up negative, right?"

I let out a hollow laugh.

"Two of three said positive."

"...Oh. Oh my gosh I… I'm so sorry."

"Nah. See, that's why coming here was a good thing." I forced out another harsh laugh. "I mean, I never would be able to find it in myself to bring one of those little goblins to term, but even if I did, can you imagine me being a parent? Shit, I'd be the worst. Any kid would be better off dead than being raised by me."

"You do pretty well with Noi and me." Sunny made a halfhearted attempt at cheering me up. I mean, not that I needed cheering up. She probably just thought it did, naïvely. Easy mistake. "I mean, Noi might have died today if not for you."

"I'm also not y'all's mom." I replied with a bit more venom than intended. "I'm just playing the role of the big sister. That's the most I should ever be. But yeah… that aside, Maria broke up with me, and five days later I woke up in your body. That day… that's the biggest regret of my life, and it was all because I was being an idiot."

Several moments passed in tense silence as I tried to think of something to change the topic to. Something nice and pleasant, preferably.

"Same with me." Sunny piped up out of the blue.

"Huh?"

"I… Well, nobody knows this except Smoky, at least nobody here, but my biggest regret, biggest mistake, whatever, was caused by me being an idiot, too."

I bit back a sarcastic remark of how her regrets couldn't be too big considering how young she was, but… shit, she obviously had some baggage she wasn't willing to open up about.

"I… don't want to… well, uh…" Sunny chewed on her lip. "When kirin are younger, they have less of a grip on their own natural magic than older kirin."

"Makes sense."

"This means that if we're talking just having your first nirik transformation, mine would be worse than Smoky's, and Noi's would be worse than mine now. I mean, if we each were in the same situation."

"Emotional maturity probably factors in too." I guessed.

"Right. Uh, you asked why I was so scared about going Nirik, right?" Sunny asked tepidly.

"Well, confrontation in general, but yes." I answered.

"I hope you aren't angry, but I don't think I can talk about the day yet. But… I'm the reason. Almost a moon ago I had my first complete nirik transformation and um… it… I.. hurt a lot of kirin. Like…" Sunny trailed off.

Thinking back, I'd been with Sunny for almost two weeks, so if some big event happened right before that…

"Bad enough you had to leave the village with your sister?" The puzzle pieces clicked, finally.

"...Yeah." Sunny replied in a quiet tone. "The reason I jumped off the train is because Smoky and I sort of… snuck on. We didn't have tickets, and when the train, uh… conductor? Whoever looks for tickets asked us about ours, Smoky started getting nervous. Said there was no chance we could go back to the village. She started going nirik and my brain sort of… turned off. So since we were in the last cart thing, I ran. And when there was nowhere left to go…"

"You jumped in a blind panic." I realized.

"Normally King would be able to talk me down, but after the… event, the first thing Smoky did was bring me to the Shaman so he could remove him and Orange, like he did with Melody a few cycles before. Then we ran."

"I know you don't want to tell me about what happened yet, but would you be willing to later? After we work on some stuff? It might help you out when Golden sends us to therapy."

"I… maybe. Just not today." Sunny answered. "And I remember Golden mentioning therapy. What is it?"

"Professional mental health worker helps you work through your issues far better than I can help with."

"What?! I don't want to talk about my past with some stranger! Only you and Smoky. And maybe Golden. She's really nice."

Sunny definitely picked up on the waves of doubt I sent off with that statement.

"What's your issue with her? She's done nothing wrong." Sunny asked, actually sounding a little defensive.

"Call it a sister's intuition. I don't trust her and I don't think you should either. I trust Script and Noi more, easily. But you know I'll always listen."

Sunny chuckled. "You know, you're great. You're like a Smoky in my head, but funnier. I feel like the universe sent the perfect human just to me."

Fuckin'… aww.

Stupid kid making me feel emotions and shit.

"Yeah, maybe I was sent here to take care of a scared little kirin foal, and show her how badass she is." I smiled.

"Orrrr…" Sunny sent a smile back. "Maybe you were sent here so we can help you."

"...What?"

"Well I mean, I've had a lot of big bad stuff happen, sure, but you just seem kinda… more messed up than me. I mean, I never got any addictions."

I let out a dry chuckle. "Kiddo, I'm not more messed up. I'm just older."

"Does age always bring misery?"

"Kinda d-" I clammed up. "Well, actually I don't know. Sure seems that way sometimes. Ignorance is bliss and all that."

"Dang." Sunny let loose a small wave of disappointment. "Growing older sounds super sucky."

"Hah, it absolutely is. Enjoy being young as much as you can."

"Deal." Sunny chirped. "I still can't believe you did… that… with two bulls."

"We call them 'men' when they're human." I clarified. "Give it a couple years and that won't sound so gross to you anymore."

"Huh." Sunny hummed. "I'm gonna switch you up front, and go internal so I don't have to think about that."

"Sounds good, I'm gonna see about getting some lunch."

Upon leaving Noi's room with Noi in tow, Script started on lunch. It looked like some basic instant potatoes and gravy, but you wouldn't find me complaining. Potatoes were great. They tasted good, could be a bunch of different dishes, and best of all, were a key ingredient in vodka. They're as close to a miracle fruit as it gets. Even though they're vegetables. I think.

Noi, however, didn't seem to want to eat. She took a few bites, but kept stealing glances at me. It was actually kinda annoying. I hated being stared at, and several times had to bite back a scalding remark. I didn't want to yell at Noi. I kinda liked her. As far as little kids went, she was alright.

"What?" I finally had enough, placing my fork down and staring at her. I somewhat expected her to react bashfully, but she didn't even try to hide the staring.

"Dad says you're gonna see your sister soon, and that she's almost an adult."

"Yeah." I responded evenly.

"Are you gonna leave us?" Noi asked, visibly deflating.

I set my jaw. That did not go as I expected. I kinda felt bad for assuming she was kinda being a dumb kid.

"I know she's your actual sister…" Noi continued. "But you're really awesome, and you saved my life this morning, well, I was kinda hoping you'd stick around for… a long time."

Goddamn these kids and their ability to somehow tear my heart to shreds.

"That's not my choice." I stalled. "I'm Jenny, and it's Sunny's choice who she lives with. That said, Smoky won't be able to legally take care of us for another year."

I gave Noi a gentle smile. "I can't say anything, for sure, kiddo. But I know Sunny likes you too, and it's not like even if we live with Smoky, that we'll never visit you."

Noi fixed me with a weak smile.

"Promise?"

I held my good forehoof out across the table.

"Sisters." I promised.

"Sisters!" Noi beamed, shaking my hoof.

"So this one is… Ra?" I chewed on my lip.

"Close." Script smiled. "Re."

"Ugh." I grunted in annoyance.

Don't get me wrong, I did like learning languages. But usually with languages, I could come up with mnemonics. Ponish made no sense, though. Earth Pony script was just a bunch of boxes with different holes.

"What's a… nemonm- menon-... Whatever you thought?" Sunny suddenly popped up and asked.

I'll admit the sudden question and intrusion via thought reading made me jump a bit.

"Christ. I keep forgetting you can read my mind." I thought to Sunny. "A mnemonic is a tool used to remember something. Like, the character 'hi' in one of the languages I speak looks like the body of a penguin, so I remember it as a penguin coming to say 'hi'."

"What's a penguin?"

"Big fat black and white bird that lives in cold places and can't fly."

"Awww, they sound so stupid!" Sunny cooed. "I want twenty."

I let out a chuckle and Script, confused, turned to me.

"I say something funny?" He asked.

"Sorry, no, something Sunny said." I smiled.

"Oh, you two having a secret conversation?" Script chuckled.

"Absolutely," I winked. "I'd clue you in, but no big stinky stallions invited."

"Such a sassy child." Script rolled his eyes and smiled. "Where did I go so wrong?"

"Existing. Terrible choice really, especially in this economy." I grinned. Script responded with a hearty laugh.

Script ready did remind me a lot of my dad. He was a little more jokey, a little more awkward, but had the same… energy to him. Most of our interactions were kind of… familiar. And for the first time, I started to hope Sunny wouldn't move in with Smoky.

I mean, minus my doubts about a certain member of the family, I really had all I needed here. I could retry my childhood. I wouldn't have to spend my time making sure Noi got in as much trouble as Jakey, I had the dad that was engaging enough for two kids. I had the younger sibling that already loved me.

Was that a weird thought? Did normal people fantasize about retrying their childhood? I mean, yeah. I was being melodramatic. My childhood wasn't bad. I was just… wanting in some places. So what? So many have it worse. Sunny herself has it worse.

"Doesn't mean you have no reasons to complain." Sunny interrupted my brooding. I jumped again.

"Please stop reading my thoughts." I humbly requested.

"I literally can't." Sunny sassed.

Such a demon child.

About an hour after lunch, Golden returned, fixing me with a smile and a nod.

"Sorry for the wait. I got distracted catching up with Berry. Sunny, dear? I have a present for you."

With a start, Sunny started fronting and jumped off the couch.

"Ooh, I like presents!" She smiled.

That's when a familiar sight stepped out from behind Golden.

Sand colored coat. Big doe-like eyes. Emerald carapace and forehead scales.

"Smoky!" Sunny cried, breaking out into a run and throwing herself at her sister. Smoky caught her with open hooves and squeezed her tightly.

"I'm so sorry I scared you like that." Smoky whispered into our ear. "Are you okay here? Is this family treating you well? Are ponies being mean to you?"

Sunny didn't respond instantly, instead trying to just soak in the warmth Smoky was giving off.

"I…" Sunny wiped off a tear on Smoky's coat. "I am so sorry I acted like I did. Did I get you in trouble?"

Smoky shrugged. "Nothing I couldn't handle. The nurses were mostly interested in why you reacted in such a way. When I didn't tell them, I think they thought I calfnapped you."

"You… didn't tell them?" Sunny sniffed, breaking the hug to look into Smoky's eyes.

"Well you see…" Smoky smirked. "My little will-o'-the-wisp asked me not to mention it to anybody."

"Will-o'-the-wisp?" I asked.

"Uh, mom's nickname for me." Sunny communicated nonverbally.

"I didn't mean to the point you get in trouble!" Sunny protested. "Just not to families and friends!"

"I'd like to see them try anything with me." Smoky chortled. "I'll kick all their rumps."

Sunny didn't respond, just tried in vain to hug her sister harder.

"So." Smoky enunciated slowly. "Heard you've had a very interesting stay while here. And quite a rescue this morning."

"Well actually…" Sunny looked down, a mild wave of embarrassment accompanied by the flopping of her ears to the side. "Jenny did that. Oh! You haven't met Jenny! She's th-"

Sunny stopped suddenly at the look on Smoky's face. Smoky was wearing a frown, her mouth thin and her eyebrows cross.

Sunny took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes tightly shut and pulling away from Smoky, then met her gaze.

"She. Is. Real." Sunny responded with a hardness I haven't yet heard. A hardness, and also a pain. She stomped on the ground to emphasize her point. "I'm not a liar."

Smoky closed her eyes and gave a small nod.

"I know you believe that. I do. Just… you gotta be careful with this stuff, you know?"

"Why?" Sunny fired back, her anger moving more into confusion. "We're safe here. This family cares. Jenny cares."

"Damn straight." I added.

Smoky was silent for a few moments, before gesturing at the door.

"Follow me."

All fell quiet and Smoky led Sunny and I outside. We followed her around to the side of the house, where Smoky sat down with a look of distaste on her face.

"I want to talk to Jenny." She spoke simply.

A giant wave of fear washed over Sunny as she pushed me to front.

Seemingly recognizing the symptoms of switching alters, Smoky spoke again.

"Jenny?"

"You're scaring Sunny." I spoke flatly.

"You are Sunny." Smoky replied in the same tone. "I know you like your imaginary friends, but it's time to cut this delusion."

Waves of both sudden anger and fear wracked my mind in tandem.

"I remember a whole life before being in this body." I took a more aggressive stance, fighting to keep my tone under control."I know Sunny trusts you, but again, you're scaring her. Give me a good reason to not walk away and tell Golden you're not to be trusted around her again."

"Oh?" Smoky chuckled, arching an eyebrow. "And now you care about Sunny? After all you've done to her?

"Anyth- anything I've done that was bad was before I knew she was even in here." I did my best to not wince as I stumbled over words.

"Right." Smoky laughed. "Injuring both forelegs. Getting her drunk, all the emotional junk. You don't care about her, you're just trying to cover your back. I don't know what you are, but if you had a life before her, then you're a parasite. Leave. My. Sister. Alone."

"Your hooves aren't clean either." I spat, my primary fangs slipping out. Fire coursed through my entire body. I don't know what had set me off so hard, but I know the fear and anger of the little girl I was trying to protect sure wasn't helping. "You may have helped her with her parents, but you ripped her away from her hometown. You took her alters, her COPING mechanism for the trauma she's undergone, and removed them. Do you understand her condition at all? No!" I was shouting now. "Do you know how much DAMAGE you can do to a little kid when messing around with mental illness?! No! You shot first and didn't ask questions later. I didn't do perfectly, yes I got her drunk, but at least I didn't damage her mind more!"

I was breathing hard now. The waves of fear from Sunny had far outnumbered the anger.

"I had to. There was no other choice." Smoky's voice suddenly lost its anger. "In our village, minors get treated the same as adults. There's no way she could have killed the chimera. There's no way we could do it together."

I froze. I was unable to move, or even breathe. I couldn't think. The only thing I could make sense of was the deadly serious face of Smoky, and the fully blown waves of terror coming from Sunny.

"She… broke… the… promise…" Sunny choked.

"You didn't know?" Smoky guessed.

I shook my head to rid myself of the shocked expression. "That's the only thing she refuses to open up about."

Smoky closed her eyes and let out a long exhale. "Can I talk to her?"

"Sunny?" I thought.

"No."

I let out a quick sigh out and met Smoky's gaze.

"She doesn't want to talk." I answered. "Just said you broke the promise."

"I'm not breaking the promise if I tell herse-" Smoky muttered, hoof over her eyes. "Look, you do honestly care about her?"

"More than myself." I answered without thought.

"Then… dammit. This is my lunch break, I gotta go. I will be over to see her tomorrow, if she'll have me. Look, we may not get along, but we both care about her, right?" Smoky chewed on her lip, before extending her forehoof.

I sighed. Yeah, I could see where this was going. "Yeah. We do. I get that you think you're best for her, and that she trusts you for reasons I don't fully understand…" I pushed away her hoof. "But she's being watched by actual adults now, in a city of ponies that would absolutely step in if she needed any protection. She needs better than both of us can give her, and I'm gonna make sure she gets it."

I paused, squeezing my eyes shut and glaring back at Smoky. "Without you. I think you need to take some time to re-evaluate your priorities. Sunny's happiness comes before accusing another personality of being a shitty kirin. Always. You've taken care of her so far, but if you can't understand that, then maybe you shouldn't be around her anymore."

With that note, I turned tail, and left Smoky sitting quietly in the shade of the house.

I walked inside without Smoky. And of course, with just our luck, all three ponies inside were staring at us.

"How much did y'all hear?" I sighed.

"Not a lot." Golden answered softly, reaching out to hug us. I ducked away. Golden held her hoof out for a second before smartly retracting it. "Just the shouted parts."

I rubbed the side of my muzzle as Noi made her way over to us. She pressed the top of her head into the underside of our chin and leaned into us.

"Are you okay, sister?" Noi asked. "A hug always makes me feel better. Please feel better."

Fighting another sigh, I pulled her in closer with a foreleg. "I'm fine. Sunny is hiding, but she'll be okay. I'm just gonna…" I broke the kind-of hug and stepped back, meeting the gazes of everyone there.

"I'm gonna go to bed early."

I groaned as I woke. I had definitely just screwed my sleep schedule up. It was probably like one in the morning. I rolled over and leaned my head over the mattress, idly watching Noi's fish swim around lazily.

Speaking of which, I feel like there was something I was forgetting about. Something important.

My eyes shot open as I shot to my hooves, scrambling down the ladder. I turned quickly, seeing Noi lying peacefully. Too pea-

Noi opened her eyes and I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"What's the matter?" She asked, lifting her head off the pillow.

"Noi, how's your breathing? Have you been coughing since the lake? Are you nauseated?"

Noi furrowed her brows. "No, I'm fine. Why?"

I let out a sigh of relief. "In rare cases, kids can get something called secondary drowning. If there's water left in your lungs…" I died off. No point in scaring her if she really was fine. "If you're not feeling chest pain or weirdly sleepy, you're fine though. It'd show by now."

I mean that was a flat out lie. It could happen within the next two nights.

"Oh." Noi replied tiredly. "No. I feel fine. Just… tired. Because it's really late."

"Then why don't you go to sleep?" I asked gently.

Noi blinked hard as tears appeared in her eyes.

"I-I'm scared." She whispered. "I know I'm gonna have a nightmare."

Oh boy. I actually had plenty of experience with this. Jake had nightmares all the time.

I made my way over to her bed, getting to my hind legs so I could peek at her above the corner of her mattress.

"Want me to sing something to you?" I asked gently.

Before coming to Equestria, I would die before singing something in front of anybody but Maria or Jake. But… hey, a scared kid almost died this morning. Who am I to say no if I could help her?

Noi nodded silently.

With a deep breath in, I jumped on the bed next to her. Noi adjusted so her head was in between my haunches, looking up to me with a timid expression.

"Do kirin or… humans have lullabies?" She asked softly, and I could see enough detail now to see the tear tracks already on her face.

I smiled down on her. "We do, but growing up my dad never sang me traditional lullabies. He said a real song comes from something you connect to emotionally."

I closed my eyes as I thought through all my favorite artists and songs. I needed something soft, but that I could put emotion into. Something innocent enough. Something I could change the lyrics to, to something personal to me. To give feeling to. Something perfect.

I pulled a lock of mane out of Noi's face and pulled her into a more comfortable position. Then, I cleared my throat and began to sing.

Dry lightning cracks across the skies
Those storm clouds gather in her eyes
Her daddy was a tough old mister
Mama was never to be found,

The weatherman called for a twister,
She prayed blow it down
There's not enough rain in Okinawa
To wash the sins out of that house
There's not enough wind in Okinawa
To rip the nails out of the past.

Noi sighed as she cuddled deeper into my warmth, smiling as I finished my song.

"Hey, Jenny?" She hummed sleepily.

"Yeah?" I whispered back.

"You really are a great pony"

I chuckled and responded teasingly. "Don't you mean a great parasite?"

"Mmm no." Noi responded sleepily, rolling onto her side. "You're too awesome to be a parasite. You're my bestest big sister."

There was a moment of absolute quiet, then I heard a gentle snore coming from her.

"...I just hope I can live up to that."

Author's Note

https://youtu.be/GfDB9zu0YWY

This was the song.

And yes, the title is based on 20 in the kirin number system, if you caught that.

I know I said this was coming out a day after the last chapter, and I'm sorry. Things have been busy lately with exiting the military and moving and I've just been dead.

Anyway, the drama intensifies.

Since some seemed confused, yes, the chimera did kill Sunny's dad.

Will we find out what happened next chapter? Will Smoky return?

All I can say is...the next chapter will part one of a two parter!

Expect a special guest or two. :raritywink:

Jenny's Battle Against the Lord of Chaos pt. 2

I barely had time to yell as I suddenly found myself in the air, above what looked like a tree, and then instantly having the base of my horn smack against a small branch with all my weight behind it. With a great many snapping branches, and the oddest smell of onion and wet dog, I found myself on my stomach, on the ground somewhere.

I rubbed my head and rolled to my back. His rule had been broken. He'd caused pain. I fucking won. That said, for dropping me through a tree he deserved that stupid fang knocked out of his face.

"Oh you wanna fucking fight, you rat bastard? Show yourself and I'll shove your scraggly toothed head so far up your ass you can eat lunch twice!" I shouted.

Of course he didn't respond. Or even show.

Asshole.

"Son of a bitch, that hurt." I whispered out loud, burying my muzzle in my hooves. I didn't feel any blood on my head, and didn't taste any, so injuries were likely just superficial.

"Are you okay?" The voice of a foal came from right beside me. I'd guess filly, but it sounded young enough I couldn't really tell.

"Oh sure." I responded, rubbing my muzzle and trying to cool off. I didn't need to scare any kids. "Just picking a fight with the Lord of Chaos. Maybe some head trauma. Or internal bleeding. Normal Tuesday."

“Is he still here now?” The filly asked.

“Who?” I asked absentmindedly. I was more distracted by what felt like a chipped tooth near the back of my mouth.

“The one that injured you." The filly tried again. “Is he still here? Are we in danger?”

“No.” I shook my head, figuring it wasn't a chipped tooth. My secondary incisors had poked out at the back of my mouth. “At least I don’t think so.”

"How are you feeling? Pain? Nausea?”

"I'm not concussed, thanks for aski-" I turned to address this kid who was trying to play doctor with me. When I finally realized what, or rather who, I was looking at, I could swear my heart skipped several beats. "Uh, scratch that, concussed is back on the table."

Staring back at me was a familiar looking filly with a green coat, green eyes, and a black mane. The same colors and mane style I'd seen in so much fan-created artwork.

Anonfilly.

I couldn't move. I couldn't think. All she was missing was the question mark tramp stamp, and she'd be a dead ringer for Anonfilly.

What did this mean? Did Discord poof in a design I knew to fuck with me? Did this filly actually look completely normal, but Discord did some shit with my eyes to make me see things?

Was this pony previously a person? Was she even real?

"What's, uh… what's your name?" I choked out.

"Green." The filly replied, looking me up and down in a way that showed a hidden panic. Or maybe just wondering why a kirin fell out of the sky. That'd be fair too.

I should play this safe as possible until I learn more.

My throat made a sound I'd never heard it make before. "Uh, hi Green. I'm… Sunny Meadows."

Green simply nodded knowingly. “You’re a long way from home, Sunny. Did the Lord of Chaos send you here?”

One question. One question could put all my existential terror to bed. And who cared if I sounded a bit crazy?

"This question might sound insane," I took several deep breaths. "But have you ever heard of something called 'the internet'?"

Green's eyes widened to the side of dinner plates. The side of her mouth twitched into a small smile for just a moment.

“Now there’s a word I haven’t heard in a long time.” She answered evenly.

“Oh." I grunted. That was… promising. But I had to make sure. "And by chance, do you also come from a world of featherless bipeds?"

“There’s a story of an ancient philosopher who presented a plucked chicken and exclaimed ‘Behold, a man!’” Green chuckled. “You know of Earth then? Are you from there?”

I think my heart stopped. The only time ponies ever used "earth," it was used exclusively in front of "pony" to describe the race. They'd only ever referred to the planet as Equus.

That meant Green was human.

I didn't even try to fight the crazy smile that forced itself upon my face.

"Yes! I knew humans were real, and I wasn't crazy!" I spouted, noting idly how much I sounded like the fandom interpretation of Lyra. "Let me reintroduce myself. My name is Jenny, and I have no idea how I got to Equestria."

“Did you tell anypony about being a human?” Green asked evenly.

"Yeah, the nurses, my foster family." I shrugged.

“How did that go for you?” Green arched an eyebrow.

"Oh, well apparently humans have all been dead for thousands of years, so I got some weird looks. I got a lot more crap for being stuck in here with Sunny." I tapped the side of my head. I mean, if I had cottoned onto an already existing creature, figures Green would have too. "Do you… also have a headmate?"

Speaking of the devil, Sunny piped up. "You uh, seem like you kinda know her. You're telling me you're both time traveling ghosts from the same species?"

"It looks that way!" I mentally responded.

“So, this is a Planet of the Apes situation?” Green piped in. “I haven’t seen evidence of that myself... but then again I haven’t read much history.”

“What did they tell you when you asked about humans?” I inquired. "Or are you going straight up anonymous in this bitch?"

“I’m following the Prime Directive.” Green responded with a half smile. “I don’t want to interfere with the natural sequence of events.”

Eh, I wouldn't choose a nerd to be stuck with, but beggars can't be choosers. As long as she's human, I don't care what kind of person she was.

"What is that, a RoboCop reference?" I chuckled. "Ooh! Have you figured out how to do magic yet? Sunny can do some but I have no idea how to make this dumb thing work." I flicked at my horn. "Can't figure out the tail part either."

I will admit I was getting a bit hyper with the revelation that I was real, and so were humans, and I met another one and… I mean shit, could you blame me?

“Star Trek, actually.” Green's face twisted into a small frown. “I haven’t figured out magic yet, but I’m working on it. Twilight gave me some books.”

So she knew Twilight. Was this an important pony, casually getting books from the ruler of the entire nation? Looking around, it looked like we were in Sweet Apple Acres, so I guess that would make sense.

“What about your headmate, does she know magic?” I pressed.

“Did you have ‘headmates’ before you came to Equestria?” Green deflected my question.

"Nope, I was just a perfectly sane fresh-faced alcoholic officer in the Army." I let out a small laugh.

“So when you say headmate... what do you mean exactly?" Green asked slowly, as if talking to a chi-

Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense.

“Did Discord put multiple humans into that one kirin body?”

"What?" I arched an eyebrow at her. Guess Green didn't have a headmate. Guess there were multiple ways to make it to pony land.

"No. Sunny is the kirin calf that this body belonged to. Bodies don't just poof into existence outta nowhere." I scoffed, then immediately regretted it. Who was I to blow off fantastical magical bullshit when I literally lived in a cartoon? "Nah, from what I understand, she already had a case of Dissociative Identity Disorder, er, Multiple Personality Disorder for if you're not in the know, before I showed up, then uh. I popped into existence. After jumping off a train and breaking my foreleg. Fun times."

I mean neither Sunny or I were actually technically diagnosed with it, but eh, semantics.

Green took a moment to process the situation. I could almost hear the gears grinding in her brain.

“You need medical attention.” She stated. “Can you walk?”

I rolled my eyes and waved her off with a hoof. "Relax dude, I can patch myself up fine. Didn't study nursing in college for four years to not be able to handle a tiny bump. I'm not concussed, nothing broke, we're good."

I didn't mention I'd had enough concussions to be somewhat familiar with the experience. Rugby team, oorah.

“You said you had head trauma and internal bleeding.” Green straightened up. “And you know nothing about this new body.”

Oh man, she was just a bundle of joy. Trust me kid, I know my way around head injuries.

"My guy, have you not ever heard of joking?" I relaxed against a nearby tree, before remembering in Anonfilly stories the filly usually was a male as a human. "Uh, girl? New body and all, what were you before you came here?"

“You were in the army, right?” Green pressed, taking a step closer. “What’s your assessment of our chances if Discord comes back? We need to get back to Ponyville, preferably near one of the elements.”

Alright, me and my question will go fuck ourselves, apparently. The most ridiculous part of this was that Green thought Discord was actually a malevolent entity, instead of a manchild who threw fits until he got his way.

"My 'assessment-'" I made air quotes with my forehooves, sinking down the tree, scratching my back like a bear. "Is that he's just a big asshole who treats life as a dick measuring contest. He's no real threat."

I could tell Green was fighting a grimace.

“So what’s your plan then? Stay out here in the woods? ” Green asked stupidly. “Are you hiding from someone?”

"Did…" I couldn't help but flash the face I usually reserved for my brother when he was being retarded. "Did you not see me fall through that tree? Discord's been fucking with me all day and just said this could 'cause some real chaos'."

"I don't really understand fully what's going on here, but she looks stressed. You should give her a compliment. Smoky says that often helps. Tell her I think her mane is pretty." Sunny pitched in with her childish relentless positivity.

"Sunny says hi by the way, and that she likes your mane."

I could tell Green's thoughts were racing, pinging around her head at a million miles per hour. Her head was slightly bowed, her eyes racing all over the ground.

“Alright, well let’s go back to Ponyville anyways then.” Green straightened with a start. “Assuming you have nothing better to do.”

"Sure." I shrugged, making my way to my hooves. "So you been here long? You said you met Twilight, so you've already been to Canterlot? Was it full of snooty dicks?"

“Haven’t been to Canterlot yet.” Green responded flatly.

Wait...

I stopped walking. "Wait… Twilight did take Sunbutt's throne, right?"

“Not yet.” Green responded without stopping. “Try to keep the future knowledge under your hat. We’re somewhere around season five from what I can tell.”

Season five? I know the show went on for at least seven seasons, and the way I figured it I was either living in the last season or after the show.

But that would mean...

"Motherfu-" I swore, biting my lip. "That slimy motherfucker sent me back into the past! Apparently Twilight took over Celestia's throne like, a year ago where I come from. Hell, I stopped watching in the middle of season three so I didn't even know she was a princess."

“Great. So now there’s time travel involved.” Green didn't bother hiding the frustration in her voice this time.

Well, not necessarily. "Maybe not. What base do the ponies count in? Decimal?"

“They count in base ten.” Green shrugged. “I thought it was a little odd, but apparently the ancient Pegasopilans counted one on each hoof and then one on each of their six primary feathers. In modern times all ponies use that system.”

I blew out slowly and stared at the ground. "Well, with that in mind, I have good news and bad news. Good news is that this isn't necessarily time travel. Bad news is… multiverse theory is a bitch. In my Equestria, ponies count in base four."

“We should keep walking, I want to get back to town before I freak out.” Green definitely had an edge in her voice now.

"Well have you tried not being a little bi-" I started. "Sorry. I mean, why? My foster family won't recognize me and I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb. If Discord dropped me off here he's probably gonna pick me back up. And a random kirin in town will cause the chaos he wanted."

Green didn't respond as I raced to catch up with her.

"Then again," I reasoned. "If my time is limited here, I do want to spend it with the only other human I've met. So fuck it, lead away."

“Jenny. I don’t have a headmate.” Green burst out of nowhere, looking like she was about to cry. “I don’t know whose body this was, but if what you say is true, I’ve effectively killed them. I - I didn’t tell anyone-”

I cut her off with a hoof and a roll of my eyes. "Woah there dude, Sunny already had DiD before I came into her life. We're in a fucking cartoon, and you look like that 4chan ponified pony. Besides, even if you do have a headmate, maybe they're just dormant or really shy. It took me a good while to discover Sunny was there and that's only because she had a panic attack." I scratched my chin. "Or maybe a PTSD episode. She refuses to talk about it."

“This isn’t just a cartoon anymore. These are real people with thoughts and emotions.” Green argued.

"Or we're both delusional." I chuckled. Trying to ignore the fact that it was completely possible I was hallucinating Equestria and Green both. "You found another human. Lighten up. This is the time for shots and partying, if only we weren't stuck as kids."

“I have to get you out of here and safe.” Green's voice warbled. “Then I can go explain everything and have them erase my consciousness or whatever. I don’t deserve to be here.”

Oh hell no. That wasn't gonna fucking fly.

This one motherfucker was the only other of my species in this entire world and wanted to just throw her life away? Not that I couldn't understand that, but I wasn't losing the only other human left.

I felt the fire coursing through my veins as I grabbed her tail with my teeth and dragged her back.

"Nuh-uh, bitch." I snarled, my voice taking on the Nirik tone. "You are the only other human I have and probably will see in this stupid cartoon world, and I am not letting you go kill yourself."

“So what, you’re going to stop me?” Green yelled back angrily. “You’d hurt this child’s body, let them suffer being possessed by me just so you have someone to talk to?”

What, that was her best attempt? Weak. "If it comes down to it. I've done worse to Sunny."

The words just came spilling out. I had done worse to Sunny. What I'd done to her was unforgivable. And here I was, willing to do it again to another child.

I felt the power leave my body. My vision met the ground. "I mean… I didn’t ever hurt her on purpose… Sorry, you're the only thing that's keeping me from the existential crisis I've been fighting back since I got here. And who's to say you can't coexist with your headmate even if you do have one? Who's to say you have one? I mean, I coexist with Sunny. I'm helping push her out of her shell and past some trauma. How did you get here?"

“It’s not worth it, Jenny.” Green tried reasoning. “If the only way we can exist is by possessing the bodies of innocent children... That isn’t what a headmate is. This isn’t right.”

Of course she was right. I'd done no real favors for Sunny the entire time I'd been here. Sure, I helped push her out of her shell, but I don't doubt Golden and Script could have done the same. As much as she cared about me, I was poison to her.

I could completely understand Green's perspective because I've had the same thoughts for the last few weeks. Just because I was trying to be better, didn't mean I deserved another chance.

"Wait!" I straightened out, an epiphany suddenly sprouting to mind. "You said Twilight still lives here, right? We can find out if you have another identity in your head! All we need is me, somebody we know has the condition, and a control group! Twilight probably has something that can scan brains, and we can see which one you're closer to! And if you do have other identities, we can go from there."

In my excitement, I almost nosebooped Green. That was weird. I furiously backpedaled, trying to think of an excuse. "Sorry, sometimes Sunny's mannerisms and emotions rub off on me."

“Perfect, let’s go.” Green responded emotionlessly, walking away.

It was all I could do to keep a bounce out of my step. Once Green found out she was being melodramatic, oh the fun we could have. I snuck a sideways look at her, brooding as we walked, and decided a distraction was probably in order.

"You don't talk much about yourself, do you?" I chuckled. "You're almost as quiet as Sunny. What do you got going up in that head of yours, Green? And what's your real name?"

“I-” Green responded quietly, gritting her teeth. “I’m not a strong person, Jenny. I just don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Well that's not an answer.

“What’s your name?” I asked again. It was the only thing I could think of asking to get her off this stupid pity train.

“Doesn’t matter.” Green moped. “I’m nobody. Just an echo of someone who used to exist.”

I couldn't help but roll my eyes again. I fixed her with a kind smile. "Okay drama queen. Ten minutes and we'll find out you're making a big fit over nothing. Do yourself a favor and save the angst till after we find out, ‘kay?"

“Sure.” She shrugged.

"Alright, echo." I laughed. I needed to appear calm, help set a relaxed atmosphere around this anxious individual. "Tell me about yourself. What's your job, or are you still in school? Shit, are you even an adult?"

“I was a nurse.” Green replied. “Or at least the original me was.”

"Fuck yeah, sister." I beamed, bumping flanks with her. Nursing might not be the hardest area of study, but I did appreciate somebody else who knew how much bullshit was involved in the degree. "I studied nursing. Was gonna be a doc in the Army. Then… I dunno. Got family? A husband? Kids?"

“I had a family.” Green gave me another evasive answer. “Hopefully I’m not actually gone from Earth. They wouldn’t take it well if I just disappeared. How about you?”

"Pretty sure I don't have kids." I joked. "Had a girlfriend. Younger brother. That's about it."

Well, I mean, not to say there wasn't a recent scare… But assuming my old body was gone, well, I didn't need to worry about that anymore.

"I mean, then again, I've made a lot of drunk mistakes, woke up with a lot of strangers, so hey, who knows? At least if my human body is gone I don't need to worry about having those leeches growing in me. Thank fuckin' god, right?"

Yeah, joking about it would make it alright. Just gotta keep with that mentality. I mean… not like I cared. Fetus would have been less than a week old. Not old enough to realize what happened. No sweat.

“Never did any of that stuff myself.” Green replied in a monotone.

"Asexual or just permavirgin?" I forced out a chuckle. Yeah, move on from that topic. That was good.

“Well, I wasn’t trying, if that’s what you’re asking.” Green responded. So yeah, could be ace. I could respect it. “People are scary enough without bringing romantic relationships into it.”

I nodded. "Valid. But sex don't need no romantic relationship. You're a nurse, you can probably get a one night stand pretty easy. Or find another chick if you wanted to munch some carpet. I do know lesbians are annoying hard to find though."

I mean my ex-girlfriend literally found me and basically started the relationship, but god, was it harder to find another woman who didn't take my flirts as mere compliments before her.

Then again, Green never did say if they were originally male. I guess her not correcting me was a valid sign, but it didn't really matter either way.

“Heh. I sometimes wish it wasn’t so easy.” Green laughed, confirming she was a female. "Trying to turn someone down without hurting their feelings is a nightmare.”

Man, this person was the definition of a "beta".

“Not on you to worry about others feelings. You risk your own happiness for others then you're a doormat." I responded casually.

“I guess I’m a doormat then.”

Eh, at least she owns it.

Looking up and seeing the same garish purple and blue structure I'd still not gotten used to seeing, I idly commented. "Hey, this Ponyville has that ugly crystal thing too. Who thought this was a good design choice?"

“It grew from a seed of the Tree of Harmony... or something like that.” Green explained in her usual lifeless tone. “Makes an ugly toy set for sure.”

How toyetic can you get?

Wait, what the hell is a Tree of Harmony? Do trees grow castles here?

"The Tree of Harmony?" I scoffed. "What, did they plant the fucking elements in the ground?"

“Not exactly.” Green finally responded with some emotion, giving a small chuckle. “Though it turns out that Elements of Harmony do grow on trees.”

I let out a loud laugh to try and persuade her to respond with emotion more. "Good one. Now uh, your universe, you lead the way. I've never been inside."

Green didn't walk with any confidence. She almost seemed like she had concluded she was walking to her own doom and had long ago come to terms with it. I flashed back to her acting so depressed about her potentially never-existing headmate, and saw a slight shudder rippling through her coat.

She didn't remind me much of Jakey. But still, maybe they needed the same thing to drag them out of the dumps. I had to try.

I bumped shoulders with Green. "Hey, doom and gloom, what's something fun we can do after we find out you're worrying about nothing?"

"Once we’re done...” Green slowed slightly as she thought. “Once we’re done we can go have a drink and laugh about how stupid I was. I know where Applejack keeps the hard cider.”

"Oh you had me at drin-" I started enthusiastically. Shit, drinking with the only other human? That sounds like an awesome time! But… damn, I had already learned my lesson about drinking here, and how it impacted Sunny. I couldn't be strong enough to refuse on my own, so I had to be strong for Sunny. "God, I would love that more than anything, believe me… but I'm trying to stay sober. For Sunny. I already… did enough damage with my addictions. So please, don't tell me where it is no matter how much I ask. My will is weaker than my alcoholism."

I could feel a wave of warmth emanating from the mind room.

"Hey, proud of you for that." Sunny told me. No matter how hard I fought, I couldn't hide the smile that gave me.

“That’s why we have to do this.” Green announced, straightening up again. “We’re too much. Putting all the emotional baggage of an adult into a child’s mind? Even if we tried to help, it would never be enough.”

"Just like Golden says," Sunny chipped in. "Ponyfeathers. I wouldn't have made it without you, and I'd rather be with you through the dumb hard stuff than see you poof away. Like King and Orange. You're my bestest sister. And maybe this Green can be too, if she's like you!"

"Aw, love you too, kiddo." I told her, wishing I could give her a big hug.

Giving a sideways glance at Green, I finally responded. "Sunny says she'd rather be with me through the struggles than to see me go. Says she couldn't bear to lose another family member. She also wants to meet you… well I guess she already met you, but to talk to you when this is over."

“She’s frightened.” Green met my gaze for a moment, before returning to staring at the ground. “I can empathize, but do you really think that hiding and letting someone else take over her life is what’s best for her in the long term?”

"She sure as hell seemed to think so." I chuckled. I could feel a little wave of embarrassment from Sunny. "But… maybe a better person than me could be what she needs. That's if they can get rid of us anyway. I asked the nurse in my universe and she said they couldn't separate us or get rid of me. I mean, it's not like holding a cross at us and shouting 'The power of Christ compels you!' will do anything to us. Probably."

“They could shoot us with the Elements of Harmony.” Green offered. “If that doesn’t remove possession, then I guess we’re stuck and we’ll have to go back to Discord.”

Huh, real optimist here.

"Well, guess we're about to find out." I muttered, following Green through one more turn and door to see a gigantic library. Like, bigger than the house I lived in. "Looks like we're here."

The library naturally followed the color scheme of the rest of the castle but… Hot damn, that ceiling must be at least sixty meters off the ground. At least three quarters of that was bookcase. Above that, green banners and what looked like a stained glass window showing a dark blue bare tree over a light green background.

Well, nobody ever said Twilight had a knack for interior design.

Speak of the devil, Twilight was sitting behind some sort of desk. The sign on it said… well, “Returns.” In English. Definitely a different universe.

Anyway, Twilight, who looked slightly taller than all the adults I've seen this far, saw us enter. She instantly recognized Green, flashing her a quick smile, then she noticed me.

For a moment we stared at each other, Twilight studying me with her head cocked to the side, and me afraid to move. What if this Twi- no, no she had to act like she did in the show. Green had implied she'd seen the whole show and didn't say she acted off.

Green approached the desk and sat down unsurely in front of it, squirming slightly. I let out an audible gulp, then forced some confidence into my movements and I walked toward her. She could handle this. She had to. Shit, what would I even say?

“Twilight, I haven’t been honest with you.” Green started, nervousness evident in her voice. Twilight turned her attention to the filly. “I don’t have memory loss, I’m not a pony, and this isn’t my body.”

As she spoke, I made my way to her side, mentally reciting what Sunny had taught me about adjusting body heat. Choose something… somebody I'm passionate about. People I love and would take a bullet for. But this time I didn't think of Maria. I knew I still loved her, but there was too much baggage there. I thought of Sunny. I thought of Noi. I thought… of dad. And with that, I felt a sudden, continuous burst of warmth erupt from my chest, making its way across my entire body, from tail tip to the end of my horn. Along with the warmth came courage, and hoping I could pass that on, I sat close enough to Green so our coats brushed against each other.

“Aha!” Twilight said excitedly. “I knew it! What’s your world like? Did you come through a magic mirror? Who’s your friend here? Is that what you used to look like?”

Seems like I couldn't pass courage on like I could radiate heat. Bummer. As Green struggled to speak, I took over. "Nope. I'm a kirin. Blame Discord."

Wait, she was a princess, right? I couldn't see much of her body, as it was hidden behind the desk, but looking into her curious purple eyes, it was impossible to see anything other than the adorable nerd character I had fallen so in love with when I watched the show.

“This is someone else’s body, Twilight.” Green finally managed. “A child’s body, that I displaced the consciousness of.”

"That's what she thinks." I clarified, giving her a small smile. "Not knows."

“And if I’m right, my friend here has done the same thing." Green continued. "But the owner of the body still speaks in her head.”

"Okay, no." I rolled my eyes, realizing very quickly that probably wasn't a good thing to do in front of a princess. Eh, fuck it. I couldn't accept the idea of Twilight being all uppity. "I am an alter. The original identity of this body has been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. The original, Sunny, had it for years prior to me."

Well, technically that wasn't true. The nurse said herself that it was similar, but not quite like the disorder. Fuck it, it's an easier explanation and I can get away with that since I looked like a kid.

"Green has had none of those experiences and still thinks she killed somebody. And yes, we were both from the same species, which is a different species, prior to-" I waved a forehoof in front of us. "-this."

“That’s not how DiD works." Green asserted. "Jenny has specific knowledge of my world which the original would have no way of knowing, which means she’s not an alter, she’s a separate consciousness that’s somehow possessing this body."

Well, alright, split hairs I guess.

I smiled, thinking of Noi's reaction to learning that. "My little foster sister calls me a tapeworm because of that. It's kinda adorable. But I can switch who's fronting with Sunny at any time. And yeah, I do have knowledge of Green's world, but this world has magic out the wazoo, so…" I finished my super eloquent thought with a shrug.

“Help me, Twilight.” Green begged. “I don’t know how to undo this, but I want to do the right thing, so just, get me out of here. I don’t care what happens to me, just help whoever’s body this is.”

I chewed my lower lip. I mean, there's no way Twilight would just erase Green, even if she could… right? And she had a crazy amount of magic knowledge and talent, so she had to be able to put Green's mind at ease.

…Right?

Shaking my head and putting on a façade, I spoke up. "Princess, what miss pity party is trying to ask is, one, can you take scans of our head, to see if she has the same condition as me, and two, see if you can find out where she came from?"

I turned to Green. I had to reassure her. For both of our sakes. "If you don't have a headmate, then it's just you up there. 86'ing your personality won't do anybody any favors, it will just kill you."

Green didn't look reassured. “I told someone they could send me to Equestria, make me a mare, but I didn’t know it would steal somepony else’s body. If that’s what happened, even if there’s no way to bring them back, I don’t deserve to be here.”

“Girls.” Twilight responded gently, but with a slight edge to her voice. “This is a lot, I think we should take this somewhere more private.”

Twilight's horn lit up, and a moment later I felt like I was being squeezed through a hole the size of a quarter. I shook my head furiously before wrenching open my eyes and trying to take in the setting I was in.

But I couldn't, since my eyes were instantly drawn to the wings Twilight was currently rustling.

She had…

She has wings.

She was a unicorn and a pegasus. Like Celestia, Luna, and… the other pink one. Whatever her name was.

I could tell she was saying something, but I was too busy trying to ground myself. Just those wings alone revealed so much more about her. She was taller. Her horn was longer. She had some sort of… age to her. She was not the sarcastic, neurotic character who I liked more than almost anybody else in the show.

And then her horn and eyes started glowing. I'm not sure how I could tell, but I could see her eyes sweep over Green, and then me.

“Jenny does have two souls in her body - Green has only one.”

That confirmed it. I wasn't a delusion. I was real. Green didn't kill anybody. This was the best case scenario.

I let out a sigh of relief.

“Then... they’re gone?” Green spoke up, her voice and lower jaw both trembling. “I killed them.”

Twilight shook her head.

“This is your body, Green. If it had belonged to another soul at some point, I would be able to tell. Souls affect the body they’re inhabiting, just as the body influences the soul.”

The BEST case scenario!

"What did I tell you, dork?" I swatted Green's leg, barely hiding back a loud, mirthful giggle.

But far from looking relieved or happy, Green just seemed to deflate. She slumped down onto the princess-sized couch we were both sitting on and sighed.

“Alright then.”

“Come on Green, cheer up.” I tried to give her a sympathetic smile. “You’re your own pony! You didn’t kill anyone... You didn’t... want to get erased, did you?”

She didn't respond. Not that I could blame her.

"I think we both know what we need to do." Sunny thought to me. She gave off a little giggle, then cheekily added "Just imagine it's Noi and you're drunk again."

"Little brat." I responded with a chuckle. She gave me the feeling of a smile.

But she was right. I nodded at the floor. "If it helps, this will be at least as awkward for me as it will for you."

I thought back to dad. All the moments he stepped up, broke off that tough exterior, and helped little Jenny through a tough moment. Where he showed that real badasses could also be loving people with hearts of gold.

With my body warming up, I threw my forelegs around Green and pulled her close. I'm not really sure what the hug SOP is. Am I supposed to like, just sit here or… what?

“I’m so tired. I don’t want to keep feeling like this,” Green said, finally revealing the completely broken tone of voice she must have been hiding all this time. "I was ready, and I finally had a good enough cause to sacrifice myself for, so it wouldn’t be selfish. Now I have to go on.”

That hurt. It hurt even more considering in her position, I dunno if I'd even have the heart to say "go on".

Or the fortitude to actually go on.

But I had to be strong for her. That was my position in life. Be the stone. The foundation, so the others could blossom. Sunny, Jake, Noi. I was gonna do my best to drag all I could to happiness. Now Green was on that list.

"Yeah, you don't have a choice in the matter. You're sticking with me as long as I'm here." I felt my temperature rise just a slight bit warmer. "Now you're just gonna have to get used to living in a colorful utopia. Poor you."

A moment of silence passed and I figured I'd made the moment sufficiently awkward. I broke the hug. "That was probably too long, wasn't it? I'm not an experienced hugger."

“I’m sorry.” Green replied, not meeting my gaze. “I shouldn’t have burdened you with that. I’ll be fine. Please don’t worry about me.”

I spoke without thinking. "Too bad. I'm adopting you as my younger sister now. That being said, I do accept apologies in ice creams and fun activities. How about we get out of here before Discord takes me back?"

"Takes you back?" Twilight questioned. "Where?"

Well that was an explanation and a half… and I didn't really want to burn into time I could spend with Green. I fixed Twilight with a sheepish grin, once again my vision drew to her wings for a moment. "Uh, can we explain tomorrow?"

Twilight replied with a small frown and a nod.

"So uh… what now?" Green questioned.

I let out a loud laugh "It's a magical world, Green ol' buddy, let's go exploring!

I awoke to the feeling of being watched. My vision shot to the head of the bed, where Green was curled up happily in her blankets, sleeping.

My vision traveled to the foot of the bed, where I had been curled up on top of the sheets like a dog. Turns out you didn't really need blankets when you could adjust your own body temperature.

Still seeing nothing, I looked up, seeing two familiar uneven eyes looking down on me, with a coy smirk on his face.

"Discord." I spoke flatly.

Discord frowned. "You didn't cause as much chaos as I'd hoped. But I still had some fun. I'll have to visit you two more. That Green has some potential."

"Why yes," I put on a false happy tone. "I had a great visit, thanks for asking."

A small smile made his way to Discord's face. "You know what comes next, don't you, my delightful kirin protogeé?"

"I am not your protogeé." I rolled my eyes. "And I'm guessing you return me to Golden and Script?"

Discord nodded, lifting a paw.

"Wait." I blurted out. "Two things first."

Discord paused, eyeing me with interest.

"You knew we were both human." I stated. "Did you bring us to Equestria? And can you send us back to Earth?"

Discord hummed. "No, to both. I am the Lord of Chaos, but only have dominion over this reality, this multiverse. Maybe your own reality has its own immensely handsome draconequus that sent you here."

"And if it was you, you're not likely to tell me anyway, are you?" I monotoned.

Discord let out a laugh. "She can learn, after all!"

"And the second thing." I continued. "Is that I want to strike a deal with you."

"Ooh," Discord arched an eyebrow and leaned in closer. "I am interested. Do go on."

"Leave Green alone." I commanded, standing up. "She has enough to deal with as is. In return, I will let you come in and cause a little more chaos in my own life."

Discord scratched his chin with a third, previously unexisting arm. "Sounds good. For now, at least." He held out a paw to me to shake.

I looked around him to see his tail twisted like fingers.

"Discord." I responded flatly.

Discord let out another wild laugh, somehow not waking Green. He uncrossed his tail and I shook his lion paw.

"Besides. Now I know humans are real, so anything you do to me pales in comparison to the favor you did me." I replied with a smug grin.

"That's if you are sure it wasn't a dream." Discord smirked back.

"Wha-"

Discord snapped, and suddenly I burst up out of bed. I looked around quickly. Top bunk. Plastic stars. Blue blankets. I was back in Noi's room.

"Oh, you motherfu-"

Author's Note

Not pictured: Jenny waking up Sunny immediately and asking her if she remembered their adventure. Sunny merely said the entire day was kinda blurry.

Go check out Greenhorne's version of this in his Trust Once Lost story to get both his side of the story, and a special interaction between Green and Sunny! Not to mention Jenny complete DUNKING on Green.

So there's my two parter! Hope you enjoyed! I only have one question.

Was any of this canon?

Opening Up

"The third time!" I slammed my fist down on the table. "The third goddamn test in a row you've failed with her, Jake! Do you even fucking try?"

Jake didn't respond, electing to stare at his socks instead.

"Hey!" I snapped my fingers at his face. "What have we been working on? Eye contact when talking to somebody."

Jake's head rolled up, but his eyes only rose to neck level. His eyes were filled with tears.

As if that would work. He cried at everything. I mean, I get that he was fifteen, and I'm all for men being able to show emotion, but goddamn dude, grow a spine.

"Eyes, Jake." I reminded.

Jake was silent for a few more moments before meeting my eyes.

"Adam had to rush home and pretend to be our dad to take the call." I tapped the table, doing my best to not shout again. "If they arrange one more parent-student conference, we can't keep up the charade."

Jake stared at the floor again.

I turned around and threw my arms in the air. "I'm not asking you to be a straight A student. I'm just asking you not to get held back again."

Jake muttered something in response.

"Volume." I demanded.

"It's just math…" Jake mumbled. "The rest I'm passing."

"And what were you doing instead of studying?" I frowned. "Off in your room playing with your stupid pitch changer app and giggling to yourself all night? Is that why you look like shit today?"

Fron just a glance you could tell he didn't take self-care as seriously as me. His eyes had dark purple bags, his hair was long and tangled, and he had like, half a mustache and a third of a beard. It was all scraggly and looked awful.

Jake, of course, did not respond. He didn't have to. We both knew that's exactly what he did.

"I'm a senior next year, and then I leave for college." I reminded him. "What are you gonna do when I'm gone?"

Jake muttered something again.

"Give me some goddamn volume." I spat.

"Dad will be here still."

"You gonna expect him to watch you all his life?" I exploded. "He's the acting Sergeant Major right now! We both know he's busy because his unit is fucking trash! You're just gonna stick around home for the rest of your life?! What, do you expect dad to just hold your hand and wipe your ass until he dies?"

Jake let out a loud sob and I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Get your math homework out." I demanded.

Without a word of edgewise, he shuffled toward the door and picked up his backpack, shuffling around in it for a minute before pulling out several crumpled papers.

Of course we let him have binders, but apparently pulling one out before putting his homework in one was too hard, so all his papers looked like garbage.

I followed him to the table where he smoothed out the paper and looked at the first problem.

Basic algebra.

"So walk me through it." I requested.

Jake met my eyes again, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Are you gonna help me?"

I let out a short sigh. "Yes, Jakey. I'm going to make sure you don't fail out, even if it kills me. But in exchange, I'm enforcing two rules."

Jake looked at his socks again.

"One, before you go to school tomorrow, you're shaving your damn face." I ordered. "And two, at least two hours a day I was to see you studying in the living room. Not your room, because we know you'll goof off. You can spend the time I'm at rugby practice after school playing with your stupid tablet, and I can help if you need it when I come home, okay?"

Jake nodded at the floor.

"Eyes."

Jake met my eyes, his jaw tensed and eyebrows furrowed.

"Okay." He managed.

Our little moment over, we turned back to the math.

"So for this one we need to make both sides equal x." Jake explained. "But I still have a lot of problems getting it."

At 0700 Jake made his way out of the bathroom, thankfully clean shaven.

I had sent him off late last night to get some sleep. It turns out his teacher had assigned him a lot of extra credit in a last ditch attempt to have him pass her class. Of course he didn't do it until last night, with me.

"Mornin'." Jake muttered.

"I left you toast on the table." I turned, forcing a binder into his hand. "I finished your math, make sure you look Mrs. Schafer in the eye when you turn it in and thank her for taking the chance on you. Also, I edited and finished your essay for Mr. Brown. It will have some points taken off considering it was due Monday, but he'll have to deal with it."

"Thank you." Jake choked up. "Hug?"

He reached his arms out, but I stopped him with a finger.

"You try and hug me and I will twist you like a pretzel." I smirked. "Now get your breakfast and get outta here. See you around five, Jakey."

Jake eagerly stuffed the binder into his backpack and grabbed the toast off the table.

"Video games when you get back?" He called back.

"If you're good and have some progress done on your homework." I promised. "And use the binder! Your homework looks awful!"

The closing of the door was the only thing that answered me.

With a resigned sigh I turned to my own backpack, and the homework I still had to do, but now didn't have the time.

Fuck it. My grades would recover.

My eyes shot open.

Dark room. Light behind my head. Noi off to my side. Right, I was checking her for secondary drowning.

Yup. Still a kirin.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried holding onto the dream. It was the first year we'd gone to school in America, and Jake was having such a hard time dealing with the culture shock. I could remember every line on his face, the scar on his lower lip, even the scruffy hair he grew out in high school. I could remember the twisted, guilty smile he always gave me when I bent over backwards for him.

I grit my teeth as the void opened in my heart.

I flashed back to the last time I talked to him.

He had flunked out of college for the second time and I drove up to get dinner with him. It ended up in a yelling fit as I accused him of never pushing himself hard enough and he finally let loose that the only reason he was going was for me.

Tears in his eyes, he told me he was happy working at his fast food place, and all the stress of going to a college to get an education he didn't even care about destroyed him.

Looking back, I should have listened to him. I should have known he was just overspent. I should have relented and tried to find him a place to be happy. I mean, he was dramatic, sure, but never straight up lied to me. That was one of the rules we made.

But the last thing I did was call him a lazy peice of shit.

Even though I knew it wasn't true. I knew he tried harder than anybody else.

But I had been drinking and was angry.

Funny how that same reasoning pops up so often when I shout at him.

I pushed myself to a sitting position. Sunny hadn't made a sound, so I was assuming she was still asleep. Not knowing exactly know how our condition worked, that was a fair enough assumption for me.

Jake just… left that day. He didn't give me a call for two weeks, and before I could fix things, I got dropped here.

I let out a heavy sigh.

Did I do alright with him? God knows I did my best. When dad was busy or not around, I set the rules. I helped with the chores. I cooked Jake meals and helped with his homework. I trashed my social image protecting him at school.

Could I have done better? Probably. I know I could have been nicer, but when he has all the same problems all the time, and never learns? I had to find out what worked for both of us, and we had to scrape by like that. It wasn't really fair for either of us.

I shuffled awkwardly, quietly squeezing past Noi.

There had to be something I could do to keep my mind off this. Of course, my first and only real suggestion was to find peace at the bottom of a bottle, but that's not really a goddamn option anymore.

I sighed as I rubbed my eyes. There was no music. No people awake to talk to. It was too dark to go outside, and not like I could read anyt-

I barely suppressed the facehoof. Work on the language lessons, duh. Hopefully they were still out by the couch.

Wincing as the bedroom door creaked, I snuck out, surprising myself with how well everything seemed lit. I guess I was partially right about the "low light hunter" thing, Sunny had remarkable night vision.

"What do you need, Jenny?" Script's voice called out from the other side of the couch. I almost jumped out of my skin.

"How did you know it was me?" I responded without thinking, totally failing at being sneaky.

"You favor slightly more weight on your bad front leg than Sunny, have a slower walk than Noi, and your hoofsteps aren't loud enough to be Goldie." Script replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"You're good." I complimented.

Script's head popped over the couch, his mane had major bedhead. "I'm a dad. It's my job to know my family."

"I thought you were Noi's stepfather." I took a step closer.

"That's still a dad. I just need to strive to be better than the original."

It's a shame Golden wasn't as cool as Script.

"Mind if I join you?" I hesitated.

"Not at all." Script nodded as I made my way over to the couch next to him, taking a seat. "Can't sleep?"

"Looking for a distraction. Can't stop thinking." I explained.

"Well if you're looking for the alcohol, it's gone." Script winked and grinned.

I sighed and looked at my hooves. "I know."

Out of my peripherals, I could see one of Script's forelegs lift, then hesitate.

"Can I put my leg around your shoulders or offer you a hug?" He asked softly.

I didn't much care for affection, but to be held by somebody that reminds me so much of my dad?

I mean, I didn't even need to answer, just lean into him, but…

No, I could be seen doing something like that. That's weakness. Bury it down.

Looking up at Script's face determined it. He wasn't my dad. He was just an imposter, and wasn't even the right species.

…

I missed my dad.

Oh god, I missed him.

But he's gone. And that's okay, I said my goodbyes. In fact, he was probably the only person I cared about that I ended on good terms with.

I stared at the floor again as I fought to get my emotion under control. I know that if I did lie against Script and close my eyes, I could probably convince myself it was dad. That I was young again, and he was there to protect me from the world.

"Maybe just… help me with the language stuff until I get tired again?" I choked out.

"Okay." He responded gently, returning all four hooves to the couch. "A little bit, then I want you to go back to bed, okay? You need to sleep."

I straightened my back and nodded. This was the most logical option, not ruled by base emotion.

"Deal." I agreed.

I pulled over the sheets and gazed over my hasty translations. I'd written the sound of the character in English next to the Ponish version, and had about half the page translated.

I picked up the pencil, an unpleasant lemon taste greeting me. That was apparently Noi's favorite.

Even barring the realization that Noi and I had both slobbered all over this eraser, the fact that it was lemon made it the most disgusting thing I'd yet seen in this world.

I mean really, who chooses lemon as a flavor? I was definitely bunking with a psychopath.

With a sigh, I let go of the pencil.

Jake did not prepare me for Noi. Jake was soft, dependant, and lacking in any creative skills. Noi, however, was the exact opposite. She was far more independent and had creativity basically leaking out of her. She was working on two separate comic books, could somehow draw pretty well (with her mouth), and had a closet full of costumes she'd apparently made with Golden for school plays.

Noi, at roughly… nine years old, I would say, was already a more well rounded and skillful sibling than my brother was at twenty.

A hoof gently poked into my shoulder.

"Hello? Equiis to Jenny, you still there?" Script called quietly.

"Huh?" I blinked, looking up at him.

Script looked down at me, brows furrowed and eyes searching.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"I uhm…" I stalled. "No. I didn't. Sorry, I was kinda distracted."

"Having a hard time paying attention?" Script asked. "If you want to go back to bed that's okay."

"No, I'm not tired, I-" I began to argue. "I'm just… having one of those days, y'know."

Script took a moment to roll onto his side, fixing me with an expression of uncertainty.

"Not really, but if you want to talk about something, I'm here."

My vision flicked between his eyes.

"How did you and Golden meet?"

Script frowned. "Well, I am still held by patient accountability, but I can't tell you we met shortly after Noi was born. Goldie and I were both in the guard, and she came to see me on business."

"Woah woah wait, you were both in the military?"

Script chuckled. "Golden still is. She's what we call a reservist."

"She's a weekend warrior?" I snorted loudly. "What was she, a proud supply worker?"

"She was artillery, actually." Script's brows narrowed. "Have we not told you? Her weekend this month starts in a couple days."

Oh no, I get to be completely free of Golden for a few days soon, however will I survive?

Probably pretty easily.

"I had no idea. She didn't say anything. It sounds like she has some sort of memory issue."

Script sighed. "Yeah, pretty soon before we met, she had a big fall and had a really bad concussion. They almost kicked her out for it. The injury had the biggest impact on her memory."

"So you were some kind of medic?" I pushed.

"I was actually what they call a Lunar Guide." Script shrugged. "Which is basically like a therapist, but whatever we're told we take with us to the grave. No matter what."

"Wait, you were a chaplain?" I gasped. "Oh, I bet you got all the mares."

"Nope, I had plenty of patients who were stallions."

"No I…" I paused. "I meant you were probably like a marekiller."

"Oh, no." Script shook his head. "I never killed. Never even picked up a weapon. No Lunar Guides do."

I sighed. "It's just a phrase."

"Well, yes." Script replied without a hint of irony. "Phrases are usually delivered in sentences, like you just displayed."

For a few seconds there was abject silence as I stared at Script, trying to tell whether he was joking or not.

"You're killing me here, dude."

Script's eyes shot open.

"What? But you look fine! Is this a kirin thing? Do you need fire to regenerate, or something?!"

"No, I just need vodka." I joked.

"Oh…" Script tapped his chin. "Because alcohol is flammable?"

There was another pregnant silence.

"Script, you good?"

Script frowned at me. "Well I wouldnt say I'm evil, but that's not important, what do you need? I'll try my best to hel-"

Script trailed off as a look of understanding crossed his face.

"Oh. You weren't being literal, were you?"

"Figure that out all on your own?" I rolled my eyes.

"No, your reactions helped." Script replied unironically.

Maybe he's less like my dad than I thought.

"Rise and shine, fillies!" A familiar sing-song call came.

With a loud groan, Sunny's eyes winched open. She crawled down the bunk bed, and fell to her side.

Sunny and Noi made eye contact. Noi, still in bed, awake and tiredly nuzzling into her pillow, mumbled at us.

"Mornin'."

Sunny responded with a noncommittal grunt.

What darling rays of sunshine.

"Heard that." Sunny grumbled in our head.

"I know." I gave her off a smirk.

"Jerk." Sunny yawned, before pushing me to front. After a couple moments of silence, I gathered she'd gone back to sleep. Or as close as you can come while the body is awake, I guess.

I took a moment to stretch out, feeling how much… better our body seemed to work than my old human one. How all the aches and pains were gone. My joints didn't click anymore. I didn't get those headaches at the top of my head anymore. There was no more lower back pain, no more pain while urinating, and no more cirrhosis.

Plus I didn't need contacts anymore, so that was neat.

But for real, I had been so busy and stressed recently that I never really realized I basically got a free re-do on my physical health. Well, minus the injuries we received over the last few months.

I mean hell, the pain is one of the reasons I kept drinking.

Though… to be honest, that was just an excuse. It was never about the pain. It was about fun. About giving away control.

About being okay just being me.

Hearing a quick knocking on the door again, I shook my head to snap myself out of the daze. I looked up at Noi just to see her eyes wrench open again. She probably had fallen asleep again.

Just like Jakey when he was younger.

I saw Noi's eyes flutter close again. Perhaps she needed the same treatment as he did.

I grabbed the blanket off Noi, pulling it off her and onto the floor next to her bed. Then I lept up onto her bed and crawled in the space between her and the wall.

"Get up or I'm rolling you off, Noi."

"Mmmh." Noi responded.

Well, can't say I didn't warn her. Burying my muzzle between her and the mattress, I flicked my head up. Noi rolled on to her other side as a result.

"Nooooooo." Noi whined.

"Timmmbeeeer!" I announced triumphantly with another flick, Noi tumbling off her bed and onto her blanket.

"Ugh." Noi pouted. "You suck."

"I did the one time and never again." I joked.

"What?" Noi asked.

"What?" Sunny asked.

"What?" I parroted. "I didn't say anything."

Noi slowly made her way to her hooves and shuffled toward the door. By the time she reached it, I had already thrown it open, and following our new morning routine, led the way to the table.

I took my usual chair, the one closest to the living room, and sat. Script, who was working on something I couldn't see, turned to display a massive plate of delicious looking pancakes, which he slid to the center of the table. A moment later it was joined by a small jug of syrup.

"Dig in!" Script announced.

My god. Actual human food. I must still be dreaming.

I got ready to tell Sunny it was time to eat, but froze.

I could use hoof magic now.

I picked up the fork, focusing on magnetizing one side to my hoof. Reaching out, I speared two pancakes and dropped them onto my plate.

I paused as I stared at the fork in my hoof. I had reached out with my left hoof, and had been doing so for weeks. But I was right handed.

Sure, Sunny was left handed… hooved? But that shouldn't affect me, right?

"You know, staring at your breakfast isn't eating it." Noi informed me. "Unless that's a kirin thing. Can you eat with your eyes?"

I shook my head, picking up the knife in my right hoof to cut the pancakes. But who eats plain pancakes?

I looked up, focusing on the jug of syrup.

I mean, I somewhat mastered hoof magic, maybe I could try horn magic.

But uh… how?

Several moments passed in silence as I tried to get my horn to respond, staring at the handle of the jug. But no amount of forehead creasing or intense focus made it move.

"Are you sure you can't eat with your eyes?" Noi asked. "You look like you're trying really hard to."

Alright yeah, this is going nowhere.

"No I can't." I sighed. "Can you please pass the syrup?"

"So… dear?" Golden spoke up, watching Script levitate the syrup over my pancakes. "Script and I were speaking, and we'd like to know more about your condition."

Oh, this will be a fun conversation.

"Well there's no definite explanation right now, but it's some sort of dissociative condition." I explained, setting the silverware down.

"Yes..." Golden hesitated, meeting Script's gaze. "The nurse did say something about..."

"Dissacoiative Identity Disorder." I sighed. "That's what I personally thought it was. We haven't been officially diagnosed. And you didn't really grasp what she was saying, did you?"

Golden's eyebrows dissapeared into her mane.

"I'll take that as a no." I snarked, straightening up. "The short of it is that I am a different person inside Sunny's head. When she was young, she had some terrible trauma, and her psyche fragmented and came up with another identity as a coping mechanism. I am one of those. Which is why when you're talking to me, I sound like an adult, but when you talk to Sunny, the original system, she sounds like a proper... eleven year old, or whatever that is in your base."

Script paused for a moment before nodding. "Makes sense. The brain is a powerful thing."

I studied his face. He was in terms with it. My vision swung back over to Golden, who was still processing.

"Congratulations!" I replied in a sarcastic, happy tone. "You get two daughters for the price of one!"

Golden stared at me uncomprehendingly.

"And just wait till I get to my teenager years!" I let out a fake gasp. "Teenager mood swings, puberty, and a penchant to set things on fire? Might as well invest in some asbestos!"

"What..." Golden finally managed. "What's asbestos?"

What a stupid question.

The day passed by pretty normally after that. Noi kept talking about a play date with her best friend, Piña. I found out later that this friend's full name was Piña Colada. How the hell am I supposed to resist the siren call of alcohol when my foster sister's best friend was named after a drink?

Sensing my agitation, Sunny decided to front pretty soon after we left the table. I took the opportunity to review what I knew on Smoky, trying to figure out what we should do about her.

My thoughts flashed back to my very first meeting with her, back in the hospital. There was a lot to unpack from that afternoon.

"That house…" I mentioned to Sunny. "That one we saw burning in that little panic attack we had when Smoky visited you in the hospital. That was a real place you knew, yeah?"

I didn't need Sunny to respond. The sudden wave of bone-chilling fear that instantly sprang up answered the question for me.

"Kiddo, is that tied to the reason you had to leave?"

Another, deeper pang of fear rocked our body. I felt bad for freaking her out, sure… but she had a poison in her heart. It'd do less damage out than in, in the long term.

Besides, if her only crime was arson… I doubt she'd have to flee the area. Something worse had gone on.

"If I tell you…" Sunny's voice came as barely a whisper. "I… need you to promise me something."

"Anything." I responded surely.

"I um… I need you to promise me that whatever happens… even if you somewhat get your old body back and we're separated, or.. or you stay with me forever because we get old together…" Sunny trailed off.

"Yeah?"

Sunny struggled with her words for a moment, then sighed.

"I need you to promise me you will never touch alcohol again."

I…

I mean, I couldn't just lie to her. Not because she can read my thoughts, but… I just couldn't bring myself to.

The question wasn't if I was strong enough to drop it completely. I couldn't. It was if I could keep fighting it for the rest of my potentially upwards-of-700-years life. If I can not have a single lapse of will for that long.

I mean, some people did really get clean though.

God, look at me, I sound like a dipshit celebrity going to rehab. I could get clean. I was me. I've done way harder shit. I was sober for bootcamp. For a good portion of the training pipeline. I had gotten clean for the things I cared about.

Sure, I had fallen off the wagon every single time, but I could do it again.

And it's not like I particularly wanted to spend the rest of my life half drunk. I mean, I'd already gotten in enough trouble for that.

I spent a moment studying the wall in front of us, my mind going a million miles per hour.

Even if I could get sober…

Would I want to?

Drinking was the closest I've come to really feeling at home. And it wasn't like I still had a criminal record here I could get away with it once Sunny became old enough to dri-

No. No, that's the addict talking. I wasn't "the addict" anymore. I was Jenny.

Just Jenny.

And this time I had a secret weapon.

I had Sunny.

And if I couldn't get sober for her, then I couldn't get sober for anything.

"I promise you Sunny, I will never drink again."

A wave of warmth sent by Sunny expressed her pride more than her words could ever do justice.

"Okay. I trust you in that. And I realize that's big because it was tough enough to affect you, and you're the most awesomest friend ever."

What a great kid.

"I don't… I really don't wanna talk about this. And I know what you did is big, so I have to. But if any pony or kirin else would have asked, I'd say no, okay?"

"I understand, kid. I appreciate you opening up." I responded in as reassuring a tone as I could.

"Yeah, but you're family now." Sunny replied unabashedly. "And not like Noi and I family. I mean, like me and Smoky family."

All out of ways to stall, Sunny finally sighed and gave in.

"So when the Stream of Silence thing went down, well one, it was right after that… thing with my father. Like, by less than a moon. Anyway, after the stream school kinda shut down."

"How long were you outta school?" I asked.

"Two cycles worth of class."

"You got two free years off school?" I laughed. "Younger me is so jealous."

"Don't be." Sunny gave a short chuckle. "Instead of just restarting fourth grade for us, we had to get like half of third grade too! It stunk!"

I let out a louder laugh but didn't respond.

"Uh, so when classes started again, I had my imaginary friends, right? But everyone else was so weird about them. My friends said I was being too weird, and the teachers were like 'Sunny you need to realize your imaginary friends aren't real' and calling me a liar. And then of course the bullies start calling me a loon and a liar just because. I mean, I defended them. I defended Melody and Orange and King. I was older and they were new!"

"I hate bullies. I'm sorry you had to deal with them." I said.

"Yeah, well one day I was having a particularly bad day." Sunny continued with a defined emphasis on the last three words. "My teacher was telling me that all I had to do was pretend I knew my friends weren't real to stop being picked on. I didn't like this teacher. And so I got so mad that I just started yelling. So long story short, dad invited him for dinner so they could make things all smooth."

"Woah, hold on, you still lived with your dad?" I interrupted.

"No, my father is dead." Sunny replied in the most hilarious monotone. "'Dad' is what I call the kirin that adopted me and Smoky. He was great! His name was Tiger Lily and he always got a lot of jokes on how weird it was and he always laughed."

"Oh, well he sounds nice." I coughed.

"He was big and fat and laughed a lot and I loved him very much." Sunny sighed.

"Hun, what happened to him?" I asked softly.

"I…"

A wave of sorrow shook me as I suddenly found myself shunted into control of the body.

"I…"

It seems the wave was just the vanguard, as moments later I was curling up my body as I drowned in an ocean of emotion.

"I killed him."

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay. I won't promise the next chapter will be out by a certain time, because every time I have I've been full of shit.

But it will come.

Hope you enjoy!

The Breakdown-

Author's Note

What's this? A five month break and then it's just back into drama? Yeah. I know. I'm sorry.

But there's a consistent uptick in cheery content soon, I swear.

The Breakdown-

There's no feeling quite like somebody "opening the floodgates" inside your head.

It's like you're on a tiny island in the middle of a giant storm with torrential downpour, and you're the only one that's still dry. I can feel the urge to sob, but I just don't have the same emotional attachment.

I also feel like a giant asshole for not being able to do a damn thing to really comfort her outside of words of sympathy.

With another surge of sadness, I got knocked off fronting and thrown into the mindroom. I watched through our eyes, currently brimming with tears, as we curled up into a ball and shut down.

"Hey." I thought gently. "Shh. It's okay."

"It's not okay!" Sunny sobbed. "I did it! I killed him!"

"I know you didn't mean to do anything. Are you sure you didn't misunderstand what happened?"

I watched the screen as Sunny nodded quietly, rubbing her nose against her lower stomach, leaving a small trail of mucus.

She sniffed and continued sobbing.

"Sunny?" I asked softly. She responded by shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut.

Okay Jenny, she's going internal. You need to do something.

I remembered I forced myself to front when Noi was in danger. If I could recreate that, I could…

I tried my best to put myself back into the mindspace where I rescued Noi, just…

Just have to…

I had no idea what I was doing. Shit.

My best hope was either to talk it out, or wait till another pony in the house found me.

Considering those two options, the right choice was pretty clear.

God, I hope I don't fuck this up.

"Is that really how you see yourself?" I asked softly. "A monster? A murderer?"

Sunny gave the slightest pause, before nodding.

"I don't." I replied stubbornly. "I've met some awful people. Some monsters. Not once would I ever consider you anything like that. Even without knowing what happened, I trust that you're not to blame."

The sobs stopped.

"You don't know what happened." Sunny insisted with a sniff. "You weren't there."

"Yeah. I wasn't." I admitted. "But even if you never tell me, for our entire lives, I will be convinced that you didn't do anything wrong. The worst would be an accident."

"You haven't known me long enough to say that." Sunny insisted.

"I've known you long enough to say you're my little sister, and I love you."

Sunny didn't respond.

"Please tell me. Let me share your pain."

Sunny let out a quiet sigh.

"You won't hate me?"

"I promise." I smiled at her.

"...Okay…" She whispered.

"So…" I started.

Sunny had spent the last few minutes trying to calm down and think out her story. Probably also trying to think out how to escape telling it too.

With a short sigh, Sunny's story began.

"I told you already that Dad brought over my mathematics teacher for dinner after I yelled at him."

"Right."

"Well… I was already feeling really bad for yelling, and I already didn't like him, so my tummy was all tied up in knots the whole dinner. I could tell the whole thing was tense because Dad made his meatloaf, and that's usually a big treat."

The statement took a few moments to process.

"Wait, Kirin eat meat?" I interrupted.

"Rarely." Sunny answered monotonously "It's a big treat and usually for birthdays and stuff."

"Huh. Sorry I interrupted, please continue."

Sunny let out another short sigh. "The dinner started really well. My teacher, Mr. Silver, was a little more understanding since the whole event was really stressful for everyone, but he was insisting that I needed to stop playing pretend."

"What an asshole." I thought.

"He was." Sunny replied. "Dad agreed. Very rarely did he ever raise his voice. But he did to him."

"Oh boy. Bet that didn't go well."

Sunny was quiet for a few moments. "I really hate it when others argue. It reminds me of mom and dad. Well, my birth dad."

Finally, the pieces clicked.

"You went nirik there, didn't you? For the first time?" I asked.

"..."

"Sunny." I gently pressed.

"Orange could tell I was feeling really bad." Sunny spoke quietly. "Tried defending me. Started shouting, too. I… I couldn't. It was too loud. Too many others arguing. I couldn't think. My mind couldn't take it."

"Something had to spark the transformation." I guessed.

"He was trying to protect me." Sunny whispered. "Orange was just trying to help. All I remember is just… him shouting something…"

The silence was so thick you could cut it with a butter knife.

"All I remember before everyone went full nirik is just him…" Sunny spoke slowly. "He told Dad that the teacher touched me."

A wave of fiery anger exploded in my chest.

"And did he?" I snarled.

The constant flow of guilt coming from Sunny stopped.

"Well, of course."

There was another full moment when I struggled to find the words.

"Not that I was trying to be a bad student!" Sunny tried reassuring me. "I just… had some issues with sleep."

And like that, all the anger disappeared at once.

"Sunny… where did he touch you?"

"Um, usually the shoulder? Sometimes he nudged a hoof or my head if that didn't wake me."

Oh my god. She was referring to sleeping in class. Thank fuck.

"He never touched your…" I stalled. How even would a kid phrase this? "Private areas?"

"What, like Nurse Sweetheart did when you couldn't wipe?" Sunny asked slowly.

"No, inappropriately. Against your will. He might have said so-"

"THAT'S WHAT ORANGE MEANT?!" Sunny burst out with a wave of alarm. "No! Of course not! I didn't like Mr. Silver, but he'd never do something like that!"

Okay, so that went better than expected, to a tiny degree.

"That makes sense why Dad got so mad, then." Sunny's gaze met the floor. "All because Orange lied. He went nirik, my teacher went nirik…"

"And you did too." I guessed. "I remember you telling me the first time you go nirik, it's always explosive."

Sunny sighed. "After the ponies came and Autumn Blaze returned with some skills with her nirik form, kirin have been living like we can control the monsters inside. But we can't."

"So, you went nirik, and what, the house caught on fire?" I pressed. "That can't be it, you told me kirin are almost fireproof."

"I never said they burned to d-death." Sunny whispered. "The house was all thatch and old wood. They suffocated. Trapped under the burning ruins of my house."

Sunny wiped away a tear.

"It's not the first time it happened in the village. It won't be the last. Like I said, Jenny. We're all monsters."

There was silence for a few moments as I searched for something to say.

"No." I decided.

"No… what?"

"No, you aren't a monster because of that. That's the last word that comes to mind. Your condition is something you literally can't help and you've been living with it for your whole life. If I were to call you anything, it'd be a warrior."

"But…" Sunny argued.

"But nothing." I interrupted. "It takes something special to have all the shit you've had thrown at you, and still wake up everyday and do your best. ESPECIALLY for somebody as young as you."

Sunny sniffed and wiped her nose. "Really?"

"Yeah. Really." I tried to add a reassuring tone to my thought. "Nobody could blame you for that. The sad truth is, sometimes horrible things happen to good people. Or, well, good kirin. The measure of somebody's character is what they do after. You could have shut down, refused to adapt. But no, you kept going to the best of your abilities and look at you now. In the middle of a loving home with ponies who really care for you."

"Yeah, how long until this family breaks too?" Sunny whispered. "Or dies? I still can't control the nirik form."

Shit, how do you even respond to that?

"There are specialists here that can help you with anger, and probably fear." I explained. "Resources it sounds like your village didn't have. And trust me, as soon as you start to settle, the fear will start to fade."

"So… I wait and it gets better?" Sunny studied the back of her hoof. "That hasn't worked before."

"You didn't have the same chances before." I smiled. "And you didn't have me. I'll drag you to improvement no matter what it takes."

Sunny sighed. "That's what Smokey said, too."

I paused. "Wait, if both you and Smokey got out of the fire, why don't you think the others did, too? Didn't you leave right after it?"

"Smokey wasn't there. She was at her boyfriend's. I only survived because I was screaming until she finally managed to find me and dig me out. They… stopped making noise before anybody found me."

"You mean you were trapped under the house and awake? How long did it take to rescue you?"

Sunny took a moment to quietly study her tail. "I dunno. It felt like hours but I know that's probably not true. All I remember is a painful heat and my own screaming. Then after she dug me out, Smokey dragged me to the Shaman, I fell asleep while she made my friends disappear, and then we snuck on the train. That's when you woke up."

Jesus, no wonder this kid was terrified of fire. If all that's true… she's way stronger than I thought.

Definitely stronger than me.

"Sunny, I am so insanely proud of you." I finally managed.

That definitely wasn't the reaction she was expecting.

"What?" She squeaked. "Why?! Now you know the whole truth! I don't deserve pride."

"Yeah, I know the whole truth, and I still agree with what I said earlier. Most people don't see that level of trauma in their life, and you're still here, tough as nails. Can't you see how impressive that is?"

A wave of confusion hit me "...No?"

The constant flow of sadness emanating from her stopped.

"You won't have the same perspective as me because you're a lot younger, but trust me. When your older you'll realize how tough you are. Hell, ask Script or Golden and I'd bet they'd say the same."

"No!" Sunny responded quickly. "Don't tell them! They'll send me back home!"

"...Why would they do that?"

"Well I… I broke the rules. That means I deserve punishment. Wouldn't they bring me back?"

"No." I scoffed. "Listen, here, nobody would put a child to death for an accident. That's ridiculous. Ponies have different values than kirin."

Sunny chewed on her lip for a second. "How can you know that? You've only known ponies half a day longer than me, but you know way more than I do about them. You're not even from here, right?"

Oh shit.

How could I even explain that? I mean, I had to tell the truth. I couldn't lie. If not for moral reasons, for the fact that she can read my thoughts.

"Well uh… it all started when my little brother wanted to show me something he'd been getting into-"

"So, one of us isn't real." Sunny replied slowly.

"I dunno. We both have full lives we remember." I shrugged. "So that doesn't make any sense."

"And we're both here, so that means-"

"That the most likely answer is my past knowledge is wrong."

Sunny was quiet for a few moments. "Is that why you've had such weird reactions to some ponies here?"

I chuckled. "Got it in one. You're smart as a whip, kid."

"And…" Sunny continued cautiously. "You really think this… therapist pony can help?"

"I've never been too into the mental side of medicine, but I've heard really good things."

"But I'd need to talk about my past." Sunny's voice got small.

"Well, yes."

"Would you…" I could feel a wave of anxiety wash over me. "Come with me? I want to be able to control my nirik form, but I dunno if I can go alone."

"We literally share the same body." I sassed. "I would have to even if I didn't want to."

"No, like-" Sunny awkwardly played with a lock of fur on her foreleg. "You get help too? Maybe you can stop being so angry and we can be… better."

"I'm not angry, I'm assert-"

The realization of what she was trying to say felt like a slap in the face.

"Are you worried about me triggering the nirik form?"

"I mean I know you did that one time to save me, but… none of my other friends have triggered one for me. And… I already feel like I have no control when in nirik, but if somebody else does it for me… y'know?"

Goddamit.

I mean, that's fair, but…

"Yeah, okay. For you. Let's go talk to Script."

-and the Breakthrough

"I don't have any problem with you getting help." Script tossed over his shoulder, working on lunch. "Why don't we discuss this with Goldie?"

My heart plummeted in my chest. I definitely didn't want to discuss it with her. Anybody but her.

"I mean, we two could go together. We don't have to go to her. You're an adult too." I argued.

Script laughed and shook his head. "I don't make the plans. I just go through with them."

"So you do whatever Golden asks you to?" I challenged.

"Pretty much." Script shrugged.

"If she asked you to go to the depth of Tartarus and back, would you do it?"

"Yes. I would do that for any member of my family, which includes you now."

Words failed me as my eyes shot open.

"But if you or Noi asked me to go to Tartarus I'd have to run it by her first." Script smiled playfully.

Speaking of the devil, the front door swung open, and in bounced Noi.

"Hey Dad and Sunny! DT came by to play! Gonna go tell Mom!" Noi greeted cheerfully, before pausing and walking right up to me.

Everyone was quiet as Noi silently studied my face for a few seconds.

"Your eyes are red." Noi noted. "Were you crying?"

Very tactful.

"Uh…" I stalled. "No. I was straining to try and do magic. That happens to kirin when they try and don't succeed."

Noi's smile returned. "Cool! Be right back."

As she pranced off I caught sight of a familiar-looking filly behind her.

Ah, DT stands for Diamond Tiara.

"Uh, hi again." Diamond greeted with a sheepish smile. "Noi says good things about you."

"You're friends with Noi?" I couldn't keep the incredulous tone out of my voice.

Diamond's gaze met the floor. "She's one of the first ones who forgave me after… uh… I stopped being a bully. Even after how much of a jerk I was to her."

I could feel the hair on the sides of my neck bristling.

"I don't care for bullies." I spat, taking a large step forward. "Especially ones that have come after my family."

Diamond stepped back, her eyes darting around quickly for an escape.

"I apologized, and she accepted. I've really tried being better!" Diamond responded with another sheepish smile and a quick chuckle.

"What are you doing?" Sunny cut in. "I don't think Noi would bring her if she was still a bully."

I closed my eyes and let out a slow breath.

"Fine." I managed. "But I won't pretend I trust you. I'll have my eyes on you."

I guess I was making a lot of compromises today.

"So if there's two of you, does that mean you're twice as smart?" Diamond cocked her head to the side.

"No." Sunny giggled. "It's not like two brains in one, it's like if you and Noi fused bodies."

As soon as Noi returned from Golden's room, she started eagerly telling Diamond Tiara how Sunny actually was two different kirin, sputtering a lot of assumptions and poorly understood magical knowledge at her. Of course, that started up a game of 20 Questions between the four of us.

Surprisingly, Sunny decided to take the reins in answering them, and watching her enthusiasm in hanging out with kids her age, well… not to sound too much like an old lady, but it warmed my heart. It didn't occur to me until now that outside of Noi, most everyone she's interacted with since I came on the scene was way older. And I had usually been the one interacting with Noi.

"So… what do you look like in your other form?" Diamond's ears perked up. "Can you do it at will?"

"Well, um…" Sunny shifted, trying to make herself smaller. "I can do what Smoky calls 'turning on the fireworks'. It's more of a small show-y thing than actually going nirik, and easier to control, but…"

"Hey." I whispered. "The nirik transformation is a safety mechanism. It's not you being a monster. Besides, if it's small, and you want to get over your fear, that sounds like a good step. I'll be here if you need me to take over."

"I… don't…" Sunny stammered mentally. "A-anything happens, you take over?"

"And there are two adults less than a minute away. You're safe. We're all safe. You got this, little warrior."

I felt a tiny wave of warmth, and heard Sunny taking slow deep breaths. She gave herself a small smile, then sniffed the air.

"I smell prey." Sunny growled, lowering her tone.

"Wh-" Noi began.

"I crave PREY!" Sunny shouted, leaping to an attack position as her voice took on a sudden, almost demonic double tone.

And suddenly, our vision was much clearer. I took special notice of Noi and Diamond's pupils dilating. The muscles under their fur moving as they both threw themselves backwards in unison. The two distinct shouts of surprise, followed closely by the small cry of distress coming from Sunny as soon as the moment ended.

"Oh my gosh!" Sunny sputtered. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! That's what Smo-"

"That was so cool!" Diamond shouted, scrambling to get to her hooves. "How did you do that with your eyes and voice?! Do you have fangs?"

Noi made her way to her hooves a moment later, and you could almost see the stars in her eyes.

"I told you I have the coolest sister ever!" Noi announced triumphantly.

"You aren't… scared?" Sunny asked softly.

"I'm never scared!" Noi boasted.

Diamond turned to raise an eyebrow at Noi, shook her head, and chuckled.

"That's ponyfeathers." She winked at Sunny. "And no, you just surprised the heck outta me."

"Ooh!" Noi squealed. "We can make a game with that! We hide from monster Sunny and she tries to find us!"

I couldn't help but notice Sunny flinching at being called a monster.

"You…" Diamond paused. "You just mean regular hide and seek?"

"Yeah!" Noi chirped. "But like, cooler!"

DT and Sunny met each other's gazes, and shrugged.

"Be careful, your front legs still aren't fully healed." I instructed. "Also, what was that weird surge when you 'put on the fireworks'? I hadn't seen that before."

"Okay!" Sunny responded to me silently. "And that was just basic kirin magic. Y'know, 'use the predator, use the prey'?"

"You can use magic already? Can you, like, lift stuff?"

"Nah, telekinesis is advanced magic. I won't be able to do that well for years." Sunny explained, watching Diamond and Noi scurry off to hide. "I can only harness the two basic sides of our magic and do some very basic flora manipulation. I can teach you! This is the perfect opportunity!"

"Well." I commented, trotting outside. "She's a pretty good hider. I can't tell where she's gone."

Sunny laughed. "Well of course you can't find her. You're only using your eyes."

There was a strained moment of silence.

"Well how else am I supposed to find her if I don't look?" I rolled my eyes.

Sunny giggled. "Good one."

Another moment of silence.

"Wait, are you being serious?"

I fought the urge to roll my eyes again. "Yes. I am completely serious."

Sunny just giggled again. "I forgot you aren't very good with instincts. Give me a minute."

With a click, Sunny was fronting. Through the mind room, I could see her eyes closing. I could feel us crouching, and a moment later, movement. Sunny walked around for a few moments, eyes still shut tight, before straightening up.

"Found her." She commented.

"What? How?"

Another click, I was fronting again.

"Stop being a kirin." Sunny somehow commented in a mystical, ethereal tone. "Close your eyes and be a dragon."

Ooh, that sent shivers down my spine.

"How do I do that?"

"Close your eyes." Sunny whispered.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Put your nose to the ground. Open your ears. You don't need your eyes to see."

I crouched down, just like Sunny did. I stuck my muzzle in the air and sniffed. I smelled flowers. That was it.

"Keep your nose down." Sunny chuckled. "Countless generations ago, the great Cyba above granted us the power of the predator. You can see with your nose. You can hear everything that moves. You can feel the vibrations through your hooves. Use her gift."

That sounded… almost religious. Do kirin have religion?

"Each kirin has a powerful dragon inside them, always fighting, always raging. Use that dragon, and find your prey. Hunt them down and make them yours."

I took a deep breath, focusing on her words.

"Be the dragon."

And just like that, my senses exploded. My veins filled with fire again, but unlike all the partial nirik transformations, it felt… different. Hot, but not like it would burn you. Powerful, but like it could be controlled.

I could feel my muscles tensing, as a result of the crouched position. I could hear the breeze, and the birdsong, and what must have been a door opening three houses down. The information came in like a flood, but it all made sense. It all sorted itself in my mind.

And with that, I could feel the vibrations in the earth. I could feel movement below me. The tiny movements of a tiny animal. No, many tiny animals. One larger one and six smaller ones. I don't know how, but I seemed to automatically recognize them as rabbits. Must be a den somewhere underfoot.

But I couldn't feel just the rabbits. I could feel the grass gently blowing in the wind. I could feel the wind all over my entire body, every square inch reporting that they experienced it.

I could feel the vibrations of somebody walking around in the house, and my brain told me by the weight and amount of time between the steps that it was Script.

I could feel everything. But instead of overloading my brain, all the information sorted itself out. Fit itself into little boxes I could focus on at will.

I put my muzzle right above the dirt and took a deep breath in.

A world of scent exploded in my mind. I could smell more than just flowers. I could smell countless life forms around me. So many smells that I didn't recognize, but my brain labeled. I could smell the dirt, the oils in the ground, the rabbits, all the ponies… everything.

And there it was. The smell that I somehow knew was Noi's, despite never really smelling her. It was tinged with the scent of sweat, and leaving a trail… up?

I lifted my head, greedily sucking in more and more information. I couldn't explain it, but it left a… path in my mind. Without opening my eyes, I could tell that she went around the back of the house. I could also tell the house was approximately seven steps away.

I could almost see her hoofprints. They were farther out. She was running. Not desperately. Not like prey, not something to chase. Her steps were wider, not panicked. An easy canter.

I followed the path in my mind, then opened my eyes.

With another sense, I had another explosion of information. I could see everything. I could see the tiny movements of the grass and the leaves in the trees as the wind blew them. I could make out the defined shape of every single blade of grass, every single leaf, every knot in the tree, and every shingle on the roof.

It actually took me a second to figure out what I was looking at. I had opened my eyes and there Noi was, in the center of my vision.

…Hiding on the roof.

"Ooh, you're good." Noi called out.

I blinked as that realization processed in my brain.

"Noi, what the hell are you doing?" I gasped. "Come down before you hurt yourself!"

Noi just smirked. "Come get me."

That little shit.

I circled the house, trying to find a way up. Did she climb the pipe that led to the gutter? Did sh-

"You can't find a way up there like a predator. The predator's mind doesn't think like that. Let the dragon fade away, and let the prey mind show you a way up. The two sides are always fighting. Always hunting and always running. A true kirin can master both."

"Like yin and yang." I grinned.

"Hmm, remember the timberwolf? Think on that. Think if you didn't have the nirik powers to stop it."

Visions of blood overwhelmed me. Visions of pain, broken bones, bleeding out of the ground.

"Take five quick breaths. You need to outrun the predator."

Five quick breaths later, and all the information from my then-sharpened senses sort of faded into background noise.

"Now just open your eyes, and find a path."

My eyes snapped open as my body flooded with energy. God, I could run a marathon like this. I feel like one kick could bend steel.

My vision snapped to a barrel, next to the gutter pipe.

I could use that.

I barely had to even try to move. My body, moving almost by a thought, broke into a sprint. I made a quick jump and was suddenly on the barrel. Without pausing, I leapt again. My front hooves landed on the pipe, and after hastily using them to make tiny adjustments, my back legs landed on the pipe.

Completely vertical for just the tiniest moments, I made one final jump, and found myself scrambling up onto the roof. I feel the wide eyes and absolutely baffled expression now adorning Noi's face were probably mirrored on mine.

"Eh?" Sunny asked, and I knew she would be wearing a shit eating grin if she could have.

"That was awesome!" I shouted, not even bothering to reply mentally.

"That so so coooooool!" Noi exclaimed. "Ooh, could you do that again, but like, do a backflip? Cause that'd be like straight out of an action book!"

"I can't." I wiped the grin off my face. "Why did you hide on the roof? What if you fell off and hurt yourself?

"Can we get her down safely?" I quietly asked Sunny. "How strong are we?"

"I can do it pretty easily. Want me to?" Sunny responded.

"Yeah."

Another click, and Sunny walked over and stuck her head under Noi's sides, flipping her onto our back with an easy movement. Two quick jumps down later, and she sat down, letting Noi slide off us.

"Wow." Noi said, looking impressed. "I wish all my friends were as cool as you."

"What are you talking about?" Sunny asked. "I'm just any other kirin."

"But kirin are so awesome!" Noi gave a tiny jump as she broke into a manic grin. "Ponies can't do anything that cool! Well, except ponies like Rainbow Dash obviously. And Miss Applejack. She can kick hard enough to make a redwood shake."

"That is impressive." I chimed in. "She could probably kick us over that crystal castle thing if she wanted."

"Well I sure can't fly, so let's not try that." Sunny sassed. "Now we just need to find Diamond."

"That won't be a problem." I shrugged. "She's pink."

To be fair, that's not how we found her. I walked into the house, took a single look around, and saw a filly sized lump behind the curtain in the living room.

"Diamond." I monotoned. "That's not a creative hiding place."

"Aw." Diamond groaned, pushing past the curtain. "I was sure that'd work."

I chuckled. "You also just gave yourself up. I could be saying that and had no idea where you were. Just said that to flush you out."

Diamond blinked slowly, before blowing out and kicking the floor. "Sorry. I've never played before."

"You've never played hide and seek before?" I chuckled.

"Nopony has ever wanted to play with me before." Diamond's gaze met the ground.

My heart hurt as I saw her deflate. Those weren't the actions of a bully. Those were the actions of a kid just trying to fit in. The ones I'd seen on Jake so many times.

Oh god, I really had misjudged her, hadn't I?

"Hey, it's no problem." I bumped shoulders with Diamond. "I'll show you how to be a pro. Let's play another round."

Diamond responded with a timid smile, but I swear I could feel the warmth radiating off her like a wildfire.

"Right!" Diamond clapped her hooves together. "Noi is probably gonna rush into the kitchen. If you hide in the bathroom we can wait till she goes outside, then meet-"

"Diamond," I interrupted. "Hide and seek doesn't need planning. Just have fun!"

"But… mom said I always need to take charge an-" Diamond froze, a furious expression flashing across her face for just a moment. "Right. Uh, no plan. Good idea. I'll just… go this way."

I paused as I watched Diamond canter off, shooting furtive looks back. I faked a smile to encourage her, which dropped off my face as soon as she rounded the corner.

"You trying to make it my turn early?" Sunny joked as I didn't move.

Silence answered her.

"Uh, Jenny, something wrong?"

"That kid has got some serious mommy issues." I whispered out loud, more to myself than anybody else.

"What do you- is something wrong? I mean, you never told me about y-" Sunny started.

Fortunately, my train of thought was cut off by a sudden series of knocks on the front door.

"Oh, I think that's Rich." I heard Golden's voice from the living room. "Fillies! Come on here!"

Yeah, trust her to be the one to end the fun.

As I took my time making it to the front, I heard the door swing open, and the voice of a stallion rang out.

"Golden Harvest, a pleasure, as always." Filthy Rich greeted. "I have come to retrieve my daughter."

Yeah buddy, you're not convincing anybody. You even sound like you don't care.

"Father!" Diamond chirped, digging herself out from under the couch.

Filthy fixed his daughter with a bemused expression as he picked a string of dust out of Diamond's mane. "Dear, what… what were you doing under the couch?"

Diamond turned to wave at me and Noi, who cantered in, beaming.

"Playing hide and seek with Noi, and my new fr-" Diamond faltered.

"Her new friend, Sunny." I nodded and stepped forward. I turned and fixed Diamond with a gentle smile. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Diamond's cheeks flushed pink, and she had to turn to hide her smile.

"I'm sure she won't." Filthy asserted in a strong tone, taking control of the conversation. "She does always make the most precious, peculiar little friends. But we must be going."

"Oh, won't you stay for dinner?" Golden offered. "We're having stuffed peppers tonight. I'll have made plenty!"

Filthy took a little bow and his voice took a tone that could almost be friendly.

"I'm afraid I can't. Thank you for the offer and the hospitality as always, Golden. Our cook is already in the process of cooking our own dinner, however."

And then with a final wave, the door closed behind them.

"He's… hard to get a read on." I thought out loud.

"He grew up in Canterlot." Golden answered. "That's why he seems so… cold. He is a very good pony, though. Just takes time to get used to. I mean, he is a single father."

Yeah, a single father with a cook. And probably a butler. A manor. A private tutor for his daughter.

It's not respectable being a single parent when you have other people to do the actual parenting.

"Anyways!" Golden clapped her hooves together. "Are you three ready for Golden's trademark 'Stuffed Pepper Surprise' soon?"

"Depends, how close is the nearest emergency room?" I tossed back.

"So… I just had an interesting conversation with Script." Golden spoke from behind me, interrupting my focus on the Ponish lesson. "Sure, we can get you set up with a mental health specialist. I was gonna try and get one set up within the next moon anyway. Is there a reason you were asking today though? Did something happen?"

Fucking dammit. This is the last person I wanted to discuss this with.

Gritting my teeth, I answered curtly. "Nothing I'd care to discuss with you. I promised Sunny I would."

Golden paused for a moment. "You don't sound like you really want to."

"Therapist's diagnoses are quackery at the worst, guesswork at the best." I spat. "Talking your problems through with a stranger might give you catharsis, but when it gets to medication, that's one bad diagnosis away from what should be malpractice."

Golden blew out slowly. "That sounds like a closely held belief. Personal experience?"

I refused to turn to get to address her properly. "Not me, but my brother. He- nevermind. I don't see why you'd believe me anyway."

There was a pause, then a soft hum from Golden. "Humor me."

I turned to look at her incredulously. "Are you really gonna believe that I have true experiences from my life as a currently extinct species in another world?"

Golden shrugged. "A couple years ago I helped the ruler of our entire nation take on a psychopathic child, a demon from Tartarus, and a big screechy shapeshifting queen, while fighting along with every species in Equestria. Some species who were even seen as sworn enemies of ponykind a year prior. Trust me kiddo, you are far from the weirdest thing I've seen."

I opened my mouth to reply something snarky, but words failed me.

"Besides," Golden continued. "This entire town gets periodically harassed by Discord. Considering all that, I'd believe a lot of outlandish sounding things I would have thought impossible a few years earlier."

"Alright." I tossed out. "Fine. Growing up, my little brother was diagnosed with what felt like everything under the sun, and in return prescribed tons of different crap. Some jacked up his emotional state, some turned him into a zombie. Some even made him refuse to eat at all. But as soon as he gets off them, he goes back to normal. Or well, the closest he gets to normal."

Golden shrugged. "Sounds like trial and error. Something worked eventually, didn't it?"

"No. Because mental health 'professionals' are paid to guess at shit and screw it up." I monotoned. "If somebody comes in with a broken leg, there are easy ways to prove it, and easy ways to fix it. The same can't be said for the brain. That's way more complex, and even if we can explain and diagnose it with professionals, the run of the mill therapist is just gonna guess at your condition and could easily make it worse. So yes, I will go for Sunny, and I will give it my all, but I don't trust anybody you'd bring me to."

I laid my head on the cushion and prepared myself for her trying to "relate" by telling a story from her own life.

"That's… completely fair." Golden responded slowly.

"Huh?"

"I'm not gonna say I totally understand, since I never had interactions like that, but I totally respect your decision, and applaud you for still trying."

Alright, well that didn't go as expected.

"I'll see what I can arrange, but in the meantime, dinner's ready."

I followed in silence as Golden led me back to the table, spotting Script and Noi each appearing from their respective rooms. Judging by the distracted look on Noi's face, she'd been working on her comic book and was still lost in artist mode.

We all settled down at the table, where dinner, which actually looked like human food, was awaiting us.

"So." Noi started the conversation, turning to me. "You're from a species called humans? But they're all gone. Are you a time traveler? I'm trying to make a character like you but I don't get it."

I love how the ponies here just accept this. If I went off spouting that shit in the world I remember, I'd be in a madhouse by now.

"I don't know what I am." I sighed. "I don't even know if I'm real anymore. I mean, you'd think if I can remember a life entirely before this, I would exist. But this world has so much magic, who knows?"

Actually wait, I'm an idiot.

"Sunny," I spoke aloud. "Did any of your other alters have a past they remember?"

"Melody didn't." Sunny responded evenly. "Orange never stuck with one story, and King insisted he was a frog before he joined me. Might have been a joke, though. He had a lot of weird jokes. Boys, right?"

Well that's the most unhelpful thing.

"Nevermind." I grumbled.

"Well…" Script pondered. "Is there anything you know for sure that Sunny couldn't know? That would prove your history as you know it was true."

My vision fell to my hooves as I chewed on my lower lip. Logically, there had to be something. I mean, I was in my twenties from a completely different world, but what could I…

My vision focused on my hoof and I let out a gasp. I extended it in front of me, trying to imagine it was the back of a human hand, fingers all splayed out.

"Proximal row. Scaphoid, lunate, triquetral, pisiform. Distal row. Trapezium, trapezoid, capitate, hamate. Then the metacarpal bones extending in three distinct phalanges. Proximal, middle, distal." I recited, my breathing picking up and a sudden light feeling bubbling in my chest. There's no way Sunny would know the bones of the hand! But then again, there was no way I could prove it.

My breath caught in my throat. Neither ponies or kirin had fingers or hand bones. In fact, I wasn't especially well versed on equine anatomy, but I'm somewhat sure that either the tibia or ulna led into specifically named horse bones in equines. The names wouldn't coincide with humans.

There was Spike, though! Wait, Script told me Twilight took Celestia's throne in Canterlot. She probably took Spike with her, and I doubt anybody in this town would know the names of the bones in the hand of a dragon. That's even assuming they'd have the same names. Of course there could be books on dragon anatomy in the library, but… I still couldn't read the language.

Fuck.

"I got nothing." I responded dejectedly. So unless I thought of something else, the existential horror would extend till I learned to read a brand new language. Well that's just great.

Wait. Waitwaitwait.

I smacked my forehead as a sudden thought occurred to me. There may be evidence after all!

"Sunny!" I began excitedly. "That pink pony that threw that party, have you ever seen her before?"

I know the others were fixing me with that bewildered look they always did when I spoke to Sunny out loud, but this was far too important to care about how I appeared to them.

"No." Sunny replied. "Well, yes, kind of, but not directly. After we were freed from the Stream of Silence's effects, our village and some ponies tried doing an int… integre… uh, integration thingy. We went to some pony town, showed us around, then we all went into a building to see a… think they called it a 'film'. It gave some history of Equestria and showed clips from that mountain town and Ponyville. The pink pony was shown with some other ponies and a big mismatched snake creature with gem necklaces. The ponies had the necklaces, not the snake creature. I recognize the teacher cow f- sorry, teacher mare from that film thing too. It was weird. Ponies look so vulnerable without kirin scales and fluff."

I didn't bother responding. I couldn't. My heart was too busy falling into the pit of my chest to retort. Pinkie's manic nature could be ascertained from any clips of her, that's for sure. And if Cheerilee was in the video… Fuck, my life could be a lie. Just a part of the character come up with by a fragmented psyche. Sunny could have learned about humans in school. I could be… fake. My dad, my brother, Maria… everyone I knew and loved could never have existed. Everything I learned, everything I studied could just have been the machinations of the creativity of a traumatized child, creating fake worlds to escape from the real one.

I wrapped both forelegs around my stomach. I felt like I had just gotten struck with a fever. But who cares about fever when my entire life could be a little GODDAMN LIE?

"Nono." I mumbled to myself. "No no no no no no no."

"Jenny!" Golden spoke loudly, grabbing my shoulder. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Please, answer!"

"I… stomach ache." I could barely whisper. I leapt off the chair, a jolt of pain shooting through my broken leg, but it was numbed. Numbed like the rest of the world. The only world that existed for sure.

I don't remember entering the bathroom, but suddenly found myself doubled over, right above the shit hole part of the pony toilet. I was dry heaving, heavy sobs coming out. I barely noticed. My skin was coated by a cold sweat and I could feel my fur matting.

"Jenny?" I heard a gentle knock on the door, and Golden's voice. But who's to say that was real? Shit, if I could imagine twenty three years as a human, who's to say I'm not imagining this? Maybe I was a human, trapped in a padded room screaming about magical ponies and being trapped in the head of a little girl.

My stomach finally gave way, and with a splattering noise and a sick, acidic smell, I coated the hole in a gross, chunky yellow mix of bile and lunch. I frantically tried to catch my breath, my nose full of the smell of pine air freshener and vomit, but my body decided to give the bathroom another coating of sick.

I sat there a few more moments, struggling to gain control of my breathing between dry heaves, before my stomach finally seemed to settle. Exhausted, my throat still burning, and my far more sensitive kirin nose highly assaulted by the worst smell I can imagine, I flopped onto my back. I could say the feeling was familiar, calling back to all the nights I drank a bit too much a bit too fast, but shit, those might just have been imagined up too.

I felt my eyes start rolling, the world getting lighter and farther away, but I did my best to shake it off. I managed to roll onto my stomach, and saw the door open, and the concerned face of Golden Harvest looking through. Or at least the being I perceived as the orange earth pony. Who the hell knows what was actually happening? I could see her lips moving, but could barely hear a sound. I could hear the much higher tone of Sunny shouting something, but her words were distant and impossible to understand.

"I'm…" I panted, unsure if the body was actually speaking or not. "Sorr-"

Everything stopped.

"Woah there honey, don't get up so fast. Here, drink."

Things were moving around me. I could feel the different ambience of the room, a warm presence against my back, what could be ceramic against my lips, and a pounding in my head.

"Ughhh." I muttered, my eyes slowly opening. I could make out what looked like a white room, lit only by one source behind me, but dark otherwise. At the bottom of my vision was a mug being pressed against my lips. Holding the mug was an orange hoof.

I leaned away from the warm body, which could only be Golden, and into the mug, taking large, greedy gulps. I could still feel my throat stinging from throwing up.

"Woah hey, small sips." Golden warned. A bit too late, as I had just drained the cup as she said that. She gave me a minute to sit straight, put the cup down, and get my bearings, before speaking again. "Do you wanna talk about what just happened?"

Did I? Fuck no. Especially with her. But I also knew she wouldn't leave until I did.

"Panic attack or something." I muttered, not meeting her eyes.

"One doozy of a panic attack." She replied evenly. "What brought it on?"

I took several moments debating whether I should even say.

"Existential crisis." I whispered.

Golden took a moment to process that. "You don't think you're real?"

I finally met her gaze, full of a sudden unexplained rage. "Well no fucking shit I'm real. But everything I was so sure existed in my past can just be explained away by Sunny's experiences. How the fuck am I supposed to think anything I've ever experienced is real if I can't explain it?!"

I could tell she was shaken just by the fact that she didn't give me shit for swearing. But fuck, who cares what she thinks?

"You do know things Sunny couldn't." She attempted to cheer me up. "Medical knowledge. Multiple languages. I can tell you're smart."

"Yeah, and who can prove they're real?" I retorted. "Who can prove I know the bones of a hand, or how to speak Russian? Nobody else here knows that!"

Golden was silent for a few moments, maintaining eye contact. Finally, she spoke.

"What part of the brain is responsible for memory?"

"Hippocampus." I spat.

"How do you handle an infected wound?"

"Antibiotics." I rolled my eyes.

"How…" Golden was silent for a minute. "How many degrees of burns?"

"...Three." I responded hesitantly, more confused than pissed at this point.

"The nurse told me you told me you studied medicine. I didn't know the answer to any of those but the second, and I don't think Sunny will either if you ask her." Golden said surely.

"I didn't know any." Sunny whispered.

"Jenny, I can't even begin to understand what you're going through." Golden's voice adopted a soothing tone as she stepped closer to me. "All I can do is try to be there, like any proper mother, and help you through this as best as I can. I can try and ask Starlight to talk to you…l"

Golden tried to put her hoof on my shoulder. Tried. Full of that burning hot rage again, I swatted her hoof away.

"Don't. Touch. Me." I growled.

Golden set her jaw and stiffened. "What's your problem with me? You're fine with Noi and Script. Sunny is fine with me. Why do you have such an issue with me? I've noticed it since the first day you were in my home. I'm not trying to replace your mother, just be there whil-"

"That's right, you're not my mother." I interjected. "You're never gonna fucking be my mother. For fucks sake, LEAVE. ME. ALONE." I had jumped to all fours without even noticing, and screamed the last three words in her face.

I thought I saw her lower lip tremble.

"If that's… what you want." Her voice shook. "Good night, Jenny."

I whipped around and a moment later heard the door click closed behind me.

"What… was that about?" Sunny asked accusingly, her voice growing in volume. "She's done nothing but good things and been nice the entire time we've known her! What's with you and mares? You need to apologize to her!"

“No!” I raised my voice. “We don’t fucking need her!”

“H-hey, watch the language.” Sunny responded, her voice getting weaker as it always did when I yelled at her.

“No, you listen right fucking now, because it’s best you learn it early. Moms aren’t good for shit. Oh they’ll carry you around for nine months, sure. They'll soak up all that attention and support, but as soon as they pop you out and they’re just some other bitch with a kid? Then all they’re good for is running off, probably whoring out for some other town. Did you know I don’t even know if my little brother is my half or full brother or not? My dad refused to do a paternity test because he vowed to 'love him like his own, even if he wasn't.' All because my whore of a mom didn't. That’s all moms are good for.”

“Mine didn’t-”

“But guess what?” I shouted. “I didn’t even need her. She wasn’t around to teach me to bake, or talk to girls, or even do my hair, but I learned without her. She wasn’t there to guide me through all those confusing questions I had growing up that I couldn’t ask my dad or brother, but I still made it just fine without her! She wasn’t there when I had my first date, learned to drive, or learned to hold my own in a fight. I had twenty-one GREAT birthdays without her, and I didn’t even get a fucking CARD from her. To HELL with her!”

Sunny didn’t respond, and for several moments the only things I was aware of in the world was of my own heavy breathing and a ferocious burning sensation behind my eyes.

“I didn’t need a mom then, and I sure as hell don’t need one now.” I finished.

“J-Jen-”

“You listen, and you listen good, Sunny.” I interrupted. “You and I, we’re gonna make it through this shit. I had to take care of my brother when my dad wasn't around, and I'm gonna take care of you. We're gonna go through school, go through college, get a big fucking house, and if you have to have little gremlins of your own, I'm gonna make sure they know what it feels like to have a parent who loves them, something else I didn't learn from her!"

A moment passed in silence and I heard a soft knocking on the door.

"Go away, Noi." I grumbled.

I didn't hear a response as the door slowly opened, and a pony stepped inside. The hoofsteps were too heavy to be Noi, so I just had to hope…

"I uhm… couldn't help but overhear you." Golden said softly.

God… dammit.

"Hey, hey. It's okay," Golden gently shushed me, wiping away the tears of frustration I could hardly feel. "I'm sorry you had those problems with your mother… Jenny. But I want to tell you that regardless of whether or not you accept me, I'm not giving up or running off on you."

"I don't need you." I grumbled, turning around and staring at the floor.

"Maybe not," Golden whispered, right behind me. "But your mom made a mistake. I think you're still a fantastic little pony, and you're strong and brave for making it past all you've had to."

She was lying. She had to be. She barely knew me, but...

I could feel her breath just barely rustling some of the fur on my neck, and her hoof laying over my shoulder blades. I wanted so badly to lean away, but I couldn't. I wanted so badly to yell at her, make her go away. To scream at her until my voice turned hoarse.

But I couldn't.

"I…" A thousand warning sirens blared in my head. I was being vulnerable. I was being weak. I needed to make some space and come back when I had my head on straight.

But I didn't move.

"I… I…" My entire body started trembling. I finally met Golden's gentle gaze through teary eyes as I took a shuddering breath in. "Why didn't she want me?"

And then her forelegs wrapped around me and gently pulled me in.

I was tempted to pull away. I hated hugs. I hated being touched in general, but to show affection? God no, way too uncomfortable. Especially between me and her? Forget it.

But somehow as Golden pulled me in, I wasn't feeling uncomfortable or angry. In fact, the only thing I felt was warmth. I know it was likely just body heat, but I felt something else, something… special as I completely surrendered to the embrace, pressing my face straight into her fur and shivering.

Maybe I was just being weird. I mean, I didn't remember the last time I had a real meaningful hug, so maybe they're all like this. Maybe I was just being weird and melodramatic as I desperately pushed myself deeper into her, silently begging for her to tighten her grip and just swallow me with her fur, to completely block off the outside world.

It was probably me just being weird as I felt every muscle in my body relax. As I compared the embrace to being swallowed up by a warm cloud, coasting miles away from any worry or troubles that I could think of.

It was probably me just being melodramatic as I felt the pressure of judgment sliding off me, and gave out a ragged sob as I moved my head just enough to wipe my eyes on Golden's fur.

It was probably just me being a strange, unlikable person parading around as a child as minutes later I was still being held, Golden's chest fur dampened with salty tears while I was softly sleeping, far, far away from the troubles that plagued my waking mind.

A Quick Intermission

"Honey, wake up for a minute." I felt a hoof gently nudging me.

"Whuzzi- huh?" I mumbled.

I stretched out and rubbed my eyes. With a yawn and a mighty effort I managed to push myself up, to make out the dimly lit face of Golden looking up from the side of the bunk bed.

And with that, last night came rushing back.

Shit, if I didn't know better I would say I was lighting up the entire room with the burning in my cheeks.

"U-um, about last night." I stammered.

Golden chuckled and gave me a small smile. "It's fine. All your comments and behaviors hurt at first, but now I get it. No hard feelings. Did you sleep alright?"

"...Yeah. Pretty well." I mumbled, averting my eyes. I gazed out the window to avoid looking at Golden, and realized the sun wasn't even up yet. "It's uh, way earlier than you usually wake us. Is something wrong?"

Golden chuckled again. "Well I have to go do… what is it that you called it? 'Weekend Warrior' stuff."

My vision dropped to the bedsheet I was sitting on.

"Wait." I shot back up. "So you're gonna be gone… all weekend?"

Golden's smile dropped. "Yeah, talk about bad timing. I'm sorry. If I could just call this off, I would."

"N-no. I mean, I get it. It's fine." I coughed. "So this is goodbye? I mean, for now?"

"More like 'see you later'." Golden gently raised my head so my gaze met hers. "I realize you might not totally believe me, and have every reason not to, but I'm coming back. As soon as the weekend ends, I'll be back. I promise you."

"No, no I believe." I tried forcing a reassuring tone, but I know she could hear the little bit of uncertainty in my tone. "Like I said, it's fine."

Golden gave off a small sigh. "Tell you what. As soon as I get back, the rest of that day we'll do whatever you want. You want to go out as a family, that's fine. You want to just go out, the two of us, that's also fine. Whatever you want."

I forced a nod and suppressed the shudder that threatened to blow my whole facade. I mean, it made sense. I already knew she was a reservist, and her obligatory weekend was this weekend. I guess I didn't know it was this far into the week.

"It's cool. I trust… that I'll see you soon." I finally managed.

Golden nodded softly. "Okay, well, I should be going soon. I just wanted to make sure you were in the loop. Is there anything you want to ask or do before I head out?"

I shook my head. I had been weak last night, but now I could be strong. I could hold myself together.

"No. I'm okay. Uh, have a safe trip. I'll see you soon."

Golden smiled and gently ruffled my mane. "I'll be back as soon as I can, my little ray of sunshine. Try and go back to sleep."

And like that, our interaction was over. She stopped in the doorway to look back and give me one more tiny smile, then she was gone. As the door shut the room was submerged into total darkness.

I rolled over and stared hard at the wall, pulling my blankets up to my chin. I didn't stop the shaking this time.

I forced a deep breath as I heard the front door closing.

I doubted I would be able to fall asleep again.

Author's Note

The wounds run deep, but now the healing may begin.

The Next Day

"I'm fully aware." Dad hissed into his phone. "I heard you. Chavez tried choking him out. Said he'd kill him. However, you realize they were both drunk? NJP'ing him will solve nothing. Make him go to Mental Health, then we'll see what we can do!"

Dad paused as whoever he was calling yelled back. I could hear him give a long puff of his cigarette, then finally respond.

"Yes, First Sergeant. I understand. I'll... I'll make sure it's done. Have a good evening."

There was a moment of silence, then I could hear him chuck his phone across the room.

"Stupid fucking asshole!" He screamed. Just from the tone, I could tell he'd been drinking. I'd bet money that the bottle of Kraken was out from its hiding place, and in its usual location right besides his recliner.

I reconsidered telling him about Jakey getting in trouble. He clearly had enough on his plate. After all the bullshit he was going through, the least I could do was remove his worries about us. I bit back on my desire to walk into the room and try to comfort him. No, he was too smart. That'd be opening a can of worms I didn't dare touch.

Shit, if I ever met his asshole of a first sergeant, I'd... well... what could I do? I was a seventy pound nine year old girl. I couldn't do anything. The world was so unfair. I just... know he deserved better.

With a quiet sigh, I tiptoed back to bed. He couldn't pick up rank soon enough. Him and his marines both deserve somebody like him in charge. I could only hope he could make it to that point.

For most of the next day I was dormant. Sunny, all the credit to her, seemed to know I just… didn't want to be conscious for a while, and took over without saying a thing.

Though considering how many times she went dormant and made me handle shit, I guess that's completely fair. She did have to hear both interactions I had with…

Nope. Don't think of her. I mean, she was coming back. She came back for years with Noi, and wouldn't have fostered Sunny and me if she was going to lea-

Stop that, Jenny! You're being an idiot!

But she also didn't know how much baggage Sunny and I shared. I know I wouldn't want to handle so much drama from kids.

Then again, I have to remind myself that I also didn't want kids. Never wanted to find out if "like mother, like daughter" was true.

I couldn't handle this train of thought. I needed a distraction. A distraction could sort me out. A couple cigarettes, maybe a nice fruity drink. God, I'd take anything, even try a fucking needle in my arm.

No. No, I wouldn't. I couldn't. Not even if I were in my own body. I'd never go that far. Especially with Sunny around.

I'm not that far gone, I just… I need something else to distract me. I need to find a better outlet than a bottle. But… what?

I've heard a good outlet was exercise, but I didn't know any quadruped workouts and shouldn't run on a leg that's still healing from a break. So… what then?

"Um, Jenny." Sunny thought to me. "I'm trying to give you space and let you figure things out, but I can feel the pain just shooting off of you. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Honestly, what a great kid. Her and Noi both.

"Hey! Great idea!" Sunny chirped. "Let's go play with Noi."

"I swear I'll never get used to you reading my mind." I huffed.

"Well if it helps, I wouldn't ever read it if I had the option." Sunny tossed back, heading to Noi's room. "What do you wanna play? I don't have any ideas."

"It's Noi." I chuckled. "No doubt she'll instigate something."

"Instan-what?" Sunny paused, just to be interrupted as Noi's head popped up from her comic just in time.

"You had fangs when you did that transform thing." Noi stated. "Do kirin eat meat?"

"Yeah?" Sunny raised an eyebrow. "Don't ponies sometimes?"

Noi actually looked affronted at that. "No! Animals were living once. I couldn't."

The two fillies stared at each in complete silence for a few moments.

"What kind of animals do you eat?" Noi asked softly. "Did you ever eat ponies?"

"Tell her you eat foals." I chuckled. "Trust me."

"Of course not!" Sunny almost instantly responded. She sighed, stared at the floor, then met Noi's gaze again. "At least not raw. I do like my pony foal served rare, though. Shame there's not a cooking spit nearby."

Noi's face split in a toothy grin. "But you have fire abilities!"

Sunny took a deep breath, and brought her hoof chin, mocking being deep in thought. I felt her give off just a ghost of a grin. "Hmm. That's true."

Noi let off a manic giggle and ran for the door. "You'll never catch me!"

Sunny was at her heels moments later. "C'mere! I'm gonna eat you!"

Noi slid into the kitchen, tossing back a playful grin and an "I'm too fast!"

Sunny turned the bend herself and tensed her hind legs, ready for the pounce. Unfortunately, she never completed it, as just then the body was scooped into the air.

"You trying to eat my darling Noi?" Script challenged, holding Sunny up and smirking.

"I'll eat you too! Raugh!" Sunny softly batted at Script's muzzle, who let off a deep chuckle.

Script gently pinned Sunny against the floor and winked. "Not if I eat you first!"

And with that, he leaned forward and started blowing raspberries on Sunny's stomach. Sunny let off a manic burst of sudden giggles.

I was very glad I couldn't feel that in the mind room.

But of course, Sunny heard that. A sudden click and suddenly I was fro-

"AGHGAHAHA! STOP!" I shouted out as my body writhed, some rather child-like giggling escaping me.

A spasming hind leg accidentally kicked his head away. He reeled back, holding the bottom of his jaw with a foreleg.

"Holy sh- Sorry!" I gasped. "I didn't mean to-"

"That was bad." Script said in a neutral tone. I felt my heart start hammering away in my chest. It occurred to me for just a moment how predatory this situation felt, us in the positions we were in. "You know what that means?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away, steeling myself for the next level of military-grade torture tactics.

"More tickles!" He announced in a jovial tone, lurching forward and blowing another raspberry on our stomach.

I managed to wrestle away from him and crawl away, my lungs heaving for breath.

"You haven't been tickled a lot, have you?" Noi chuckled from next to me, shaking her head. "Total noobie."

"He attacked with extreme prejudice!" I gasped dramatically. "Such tactics are only seen on the bloodiest battlefields."

"Wh- but he wasn't being racist against you at all?" Noi cocked her head to the side.

"I know." I stated with a smile, reaching out and bopping Noi's nose. "Tag!"

Dunno if it was adrenaline, the happiness coming from Sunny, or the distraction, but I had a burst of happy chemicals. A moment later I was on my hooves, racing for the back door.

Noi's brain took a moment to process what had just happened, but as soon as she did, she was on my heels, racing for the pile of leaves one of the adults had probably raked up.

"Princess of the pile!" Noi called out, struggling to climb the pile of leaves, slipping as they came loose.

Must have been tightly raked by magic if you can climb them.

"You're on!" I challenged, making my way up the slippery slope.

Hitting a loose patch of leaves, I lost traction. I faceplanted into the pile and rolled down.

"Hah! Looks like I'm gonna win!" Noi cheered.

Nah, I was gonna cheat shamelessly.

I took a few quick breaths and called forth the prey mindset, like Sunny had taught yesterday. I guess I was decent enough with instincts, because I pulled it off on the first try.

Not sure exactly how, but I ran up the pile with ease, like it was a hill, not a loose pile of leaves. I made my way up to the top and smirked down at Noi, who was inches from me.

"Wh- how did you-" Noi began, pausing as I lunged forward, placing my hooves over hers.

"Long live the queen." I whispered, before pulling her hooves up enough to break her grip.

She tumbled down the foot high pile super dramatically, before rolling onto the ground with an emphasized "oof".

"You alright down there?" I called.

"No." Noi squeezed her eyes shut. "You've killed me. I'm so dead right now."

I blinked slowly, before letting out a loud whoop.

I stuck my hoof in the air victoriously. "Thus begins my thousand year reign of BLOOD!"

"-So that's when Dad came in, saying all his words backwards, and DT decided this was her favorite place." Noi continued, rattling off some nonsense story to Sunny after they spent the last hour ruining the pile and messing around in the backyard. "Then… Miss Fluttershy?"

Sure enough, a familiar looking butter-yellow pegasus was sitting across from Script at the table.

I steeled myself for her to act differently then I remembered too. Another strike of existential horror incoming. Yay.

"Hello Noi." Fluttershy gave her a soft smile, before trying to Sunny. "And you must be Sunn-"

"Miss Fluttershy!" Sunny shouted, scampering over to the table, her voice rising in pitch. "How have you been? Where's Miss Applejack? How have you two been? What are you doing here?!"

"Uh, you know her?" I coughed.

"She and her friend saved my village from the curse of the Stream of Silence!" Sunny informed me nonverbally. "They're heroes to the kirin."

"Oh, Applejack and I have been just fine." Fluttershy gave Sunny a soft smile. "She's busy working at her farm, but I'm sure she'd love seeing you too. I'm actually here on the request of Pinkie Pie."

"The… party thrower?" Sunny blinked.

Fluttershy nodded. "She told me you're having some problems with the kirin state."

I could feel Sunny's brain whirring a hundred miles an hour. "Can… Can we get rid of it?"

Fluttershy gave off a small sigh and looked down. "I'm afraid not. But I do want to see if I can help you cool off when you're angry or scared."

I felt a spike of excitement as Sunny whipped her head to look at Script, silently asking for permission. Script smiled and nodded.

"I trust Fluttershy completely." Script stated. "Just don't be gone crazy long."

And it was with a quick wave goodbye that Sunny and I found our way out the door and heading east.

"Where are we going?" Sunny asked.

"Whitetail Woods." Fluttershy responded softly. "I heard you had a bad experience in the Everfree, but you don't have to worry about that there. There are no monsters in the Whitetail Woods, and especially no timberwolves."

I could feel a wave of relief emanating from Sunny.

It looked like everything was set up pretty well. I got ready to go dormant and ignore Fluttershy, before she slowed down and smiled at us.

"I'd like to hear more about the kirin. We ponies know almost nothing of you."

Well nevermind. I wanted to hear this too.

Sunny chewed her lip. "Well I can teach you about our magic, but no kirin I know knows our history. Our library kinda burned down… a few times. Our last elder apparently decided it wasn't worth rebuilding, since we didn't have books to replace the ones we lost."

"Oh?" Fluttershy cocked an eyebrow. "What do you learn in school, then?"

"Job stuff." Sunny explained. "Magic, herbology, shaman work, a bit of alchemy. Stuff we'll use to help the village."

"Oh, so you don't know any of your history?" Fluttershy frowned. "That'll disappoint Twilight. She’s been trying to find out more about the kirin too. I can tell you what she's shared with me, if that's okay with you?"

"Yes, please!" Sunny nodded eagerly.

"Well," Fluttershy began. "Apparently Canterlot thousands of years ago, had an embassy for kirin kind. But our races weren't exactly friends…"

Fluttershy trailed off, rubbing her hoof on the back of her neck.

"Well, apparently the kirin were seen almost completely as a warrior race. While you had no combat magic, you could summon a new form with your unique magic, one that made you stronger and tougher."

"The nirik form." Sunny guessed glumly.

Fluttershy nodded again. "But from records Twilight found, it sounds like your ancestors had complete control over it. All of them reference using their nirik magic just like a weapon. Something only ever seen in battle."

A sudden wave of euphoria slammed into me.

"So it can be controlled!" Sunny shouted.

"Well I sure hope so." Fluttershy smiled. "But aside from that, we don't really know much. We know that kirin started having problems with the magic after peace came about, and they withdrew completely from pony society. There's no records we can find anywhere after our races split."

"...Until you and Miss Applejack found us two cycles ago." Sunny realized.

"So… y'all lost control of your magic and just isolated for thousands of years?" I thought. "That seems a bit extreme."

"Twilight's personal guess was that kirin were more focused as warriors. They had an outlet to use the magic on. But once all the fighting ended, you were a war race with no war. The only targets you could use it on were yourselves. And that's why the nirik form turned from a weapon into a curse." Fluttershy explained. "At least, that's what she thinks."

"So how do we deal with peace, then?" Sunny stared up at Fluttershy inquisitively.

Fluttershy slowed to stop and hummed quietly. Sitting down and lifting a foreleg up horizontally, she let out a shrill whistle.

Moments later a bluejay fluttered down from a nearby tree and perched on her leg.

"This is a bluejay. Among ponies who like birds, it's a popular pet." Fluttershy explained. "Inside a house, it sleeps in a cage, but can you imagine if it never was able to leave the cage?"

"It'd probably get really bored." Sunny commented.

Fluttershy nodded. "But if you let them out, let them explore and experience and tire themselves out, they'll behave better. They'll be less bored."

"So… you're saying let the nirik out? But that always results in somebody being hurt."

Fluttershy gave Sunny a gentle smile. "No, I'm not saying let it out. Not until you have better control. I'm saying you should exercise it. Find a way to bring it out in parts, so you can not only work through your anger with control, but you can diminish its effect on you. And if it gets really bad, find somewhere you can be a nirik alone, and just let all that anger out."

"How do I do that?" Sunny cocked her head to the right.

With a gentle wave of her foreleg, Fluttershy shooed the bird off of her. "It's different for everycreature. I find my stress relief alone with my animal friends, but my friend Rainbow Dash finds hers in flying. Explore who you are and what you like, and you'll find it. Until then, you have a lot of ponies at your side who want to help you. Including me."

Sunny paused for a few moments, then smiled. "Thanks, I'll try that."

A quick smile and nod, and the two resumed.

"I'm interested to know more about what they teach you. They must teach very in-depth to keep you in school for years." Fluttershy began. "At least with so few topics."

"Well, we did get our learning plans changed and then shut down after the Stream of Silence since we were… y'know, rebuilding the village and magically quiet." Sunny joked. "But according to our elder, calves my age are better at magic than they were when she was young."

Her gaze wandering around, Sunny spotted a strip of some kind of purple-ish budding flower.

"It's called an orchid, Jenny." Sunny told me nonverbally.

"Stop correcting my narration and get out of my head." I pleaded.

"It's my head, I was here first." Sunny sassed back, walking behind the budding plants and presenting it to Fluttershy.

"That's why I can do this so young-" Sunny began, laying down and tensing her entire body.

For a few moments, nothing happened. Then slowly, the flower changed. The stem straightened, the bulb opened, and if I'm not mistaken, the color seemed brighter.

A quick look behind, and we spotted the entire patch of orchids was now in full bloom.

Sunny wiped her forehead. "Whoo, that was a tough one."

Fluttershy tilted her head down and smiled. "Wow Sunny, these are beautiful. That's very impressive!"

With a practiced movement, Sunny plucked one of the flowers and fixed it behind Fluttershy's left ear.

"There!" Sunny chirped. "Now you're even prettier!"

Pink flooded Fluttershy's face and she took a moment to look away and hide her blush. With slow movements, she plucked another flower and fixed it behind Sunny's ear.

"Let's both be prettier." Fluttershy winked.

"Okay!" Sunny beamed. "I'm really good with flowers! My mom worked with them every day."

"Oh, you must be really smart then." Fluttershy nodded. "What do kirin use flowers for?"

"Medicine and recreation mostly." Sunny explained. "But I liked using it in pranks. Like, did you know if you make a soup in a pot with diced and salted nightshade roots, it will cure the cold? But if you crush some of its leaves, you can use that and any dye to make a poultice that will dye anyone's mane for a week?"

Fluttershy blinked.

"We can also chew the stem of a rose to help get rid of nausea!" Sunny added. "Nature is full of medicine."

Okay, conversation has moved from magic to flowers. I'm bored again. Going dormant.

"That's fascinating. Tell me more." Fluttershy eagerly. "I may be able to use some of these remedies to help my animal friends."

Sunny stopped completely. "Animal friends? Animals aren't friends. They belong in the woods with the rest of the monsters."

This time it was Fluttershy's turn to stop. "What? No no, I love my animal friends. Several of them live with me in my cottage. They're not mean."

Sunny shivered.

"Not all animals are like the Chimera." I reassured her. "Most animals ponies would own are pretty harmless. Like cats and dogs and such."

Sunny shook her head forcefully. "Dogs can crush your bones with a bite and cats are quick and have sharp claws. The best choice is avoiding them altogether."

"Oh dear." Fluttershy squeaked, watching as the trees of Whitetail Forest came in view. "I had no idea you had an issue with animals. I wish I knew, because I asked one of my animal friends to join us in showing you the forest."

Fluttershy raised a hoof to the area behind us. "I can assure you, he's really quite gentle."

I could feel Sunny's muscles locking up and she slowly, breathlessly turned around to see a massive, shaggy, 700 pound grizzly bear.

"Sunny, meet Harry."

Author's Note

Join my Discord!

Exordium

The first thing I noticed was the pain. My entire torso and both my arms were throbbing intensely with pain.

The second thing I noticed was the train whistle in the distance, but that couldn’t be right. I lived miles away from any train track.

My eyes snapped open.

Well, there were definitely train tracks right next to me. Beyond them, I could see a dark, unending forest.

Oh shit. I had no idea where I was.

Okay, okay. Don't panic. Panicking solves nothing.

On the rare occasion, I’d have fainting spells and would be confused and disoriented when I woke. That's probably what was going on now. Yeah, I just had to wait a minute and I'd remember what I was doing here.

I was on my stomach, so I reached out to push myself up into a sitting position.

The plan changed when a sudden wave of agony shot through me as soon as my left arm touched the ground.

I tightly squeezed my jaw shut and pushed through the pain, successfully sitting up and instantly feeling over my left arm with my right. I followed the bottom part of the arm up, and there was a space where I felt the bone end, and below that, more bone. I could tell that the bone wasn't sticking out of the skin, so that was good.

Fuck. Closed fracture. At least I think so. I've never broken a bone before.

Taking a moment to brace myself, I took a deep breath and looked down at my arm to see the damage.

It was about then that I realized a broken bone was not my only worry, because staring back at me was an off-white cloven hoof.

I take it back! Definitely time to panic!

My breath quickened as my heart pounded in my ears. A chill ran up my spine and I feel I would have seen goosebumps if my arms weren't covered in fur. I wasn't supposed to have hooves!

A quick look over to my right showed another hoof, and then looking down, two hind legs of the same color.

My right han—er, my right hoof shot over to my face, feeling around. My nose was long and cylindrical. My ears weren't where they were meant to be. My eyes took up what felt like at least a third of my head!

I had a muzzle.

I had giant ears.

Holy fuck, I was a goat!

Wait, no. My ears were too high up on my head to be a goat.

I was a horse!

Oh fuck, okay. Logical explanation for this?

Oh wait. That was a stupid question. I went to facepalm, but a sharp pain washed across my face as I smacked my hoof against it.

Ow. Hooves are hard.

So I was a different species, in a completely unfamiliar environment. I woke up alone and can see no sign of civilization other than the train tracks. I mean, that alone should make clear what’s going on.

I was in a dream. Either that or somebody snuck some powerful drugs into me somehow. And considering I was feeling pain, I was thinking it might have been the latter, but after a moment of consideration, I was leaning toward the former.

I had never taken any hard drugs and had no idea what you felt like on them, but my head felt remarkably clear, and having had much experience drinking, I knew depressants gave you some sort of foggy sensation in your head. Besides, I had no idea if you could actually feel pain in a dream.

So that was a thing. I was either drugged or dreaming. Regardless, I had to figure something out.

I looked down to check out the rest of my new form. Yup, body of a white-ish horse, so that lended credence to the whole "dream" idea. Okay. I was in the body of a cartoonish hor-

Holy shit. I was a pony. As in MLP-style cartoon pony. I had stopped watching the show like four years ago, yet I was having a dream where I was a pony.

Well, I had never tried lucid dreaming, but I tried willing my foreleg to mend itself.

Nothing happened.

Well, shit.

Okay, to hell with it. I needed to find somebody and needed to get out of here while still asleep. My only problems were I had no idea where I was, where to go, or how far I could get with a fucked up leg.

Moments passed before I made up my mind.

Fuck it. Worth a shot.

I put my weight on my forelegs and clambered to my fee—to my hooves. I let out a low hiss as a throb of agony came from my broken leg when I put pressure on it. That made me flex my muscles, which only got worse as the muscles pulled on the broken bone.

I managed to stand up, putting all three good hooves on the ground, cradling my injured leg against my chest.

Okay, so I was a quadruped now; I had to walk differently. If I recall correctly, it was one leg, opposing hind leg, then the same side, but the foreleg, then the last leg. Which was great in theory, but one of my legs was out. So much for that idea.

I limped forward a couple steps by just throwing the front of my body out, then stepping forward with my hind legs. It felt awkward, and there was probably a way more efficient way to do it, but oh well. I was used to just two legs.

And then a sudden thought struck me.

There were a lot of fanfictions about humans being transported to Equestria, but they were aged down, the opposite gender, and, well, poofed into ponies.

Holding my breath and fearing the worst, I peered between my hind legs.

No dick.

Oh thank god; at least that part stayed the same. My dream was a little creative.

As for changing age?

"Uhm, test."

I winced as my voice came out extremely high-pitched. Okay, so I sounded like a child. That’s new.

I limped over to the train tracks, a constant throb coming from my injured leg, and tried gauging my size based on that.

Yep, I was small.

So I was a filly. Based on how high my voice was, I was also pre-pubescent. I wonder what my dream was trying to tell me with that.

I paused for a moment to take in my surroundings. Off to my right, there was a cliff. A jagged rock outcropping on my side pointing in the direction I was facing caught my attention first. I limped over to it, my broken leg sending out waves of pain every time my other foreleg hit the ground.

I made it over to the edge of the cliff and saw another cliff, facing the opposite way, maybe thirty feet away. Below me was a drop of at least two hundred feet. Large holes dotted the rocky side of the other cliff. Wasn’t this area featured in an episode before? Something about Rainbow Dash trying to get a pet. Ghastly Gorge, I think it was called. That meant I was close to Ponyville. And if I was close to Ponyville, then that forest-y area now off to my left must be the Everfree Forest. Which meant danger.

I didn't want to deal with timberwolves or Poison Joke or… whatever else the show had put in that death trap.

Following the train tracks it was. I had no idea how far it was from the nearest town, and it was going to suck limping that far, but hell, what other choice did I have?

Oh man, I could use a drink.

Turns out I wasn’t nearly as close as I thought. I’d been limping around for what must’ve been hours before I started thinking that maybe I wasn’t dreaming.

I rolled my neck to relieve some tension from my shoulders and looked up. The sun was in basically the same place as it had been when I last checked, which was probably about half an hour ago.

I didn’t know if this rule worked for dreams, but I do know that in dreams, clocks never show the same time twice. I’d figure in the absence of clocks, this was the next best test.

Which meant that so far, this was real.

I was really in Equestria.

As a pony.

A short laugh escaped my lips as I marveled at the ludicrous situation I was in. In what I perceived as my reality, I was in a cartoon. The weirdest part was that the world I saw looked pretty damn similar to real life, not with the show’s cartoony qualities. I sank to my haunches and lifted my good forehoof to my gaze. Like with the show, it was one solid color, minus an almost orange hoof, which wasn’t the design I remembered. The fur on the leg was a solid color, and you could make out individual hairs just by looking at it. It was about the same as it would be looking at a golden retriever. That meant there was a certain level of realism going on in this cartoon world.

Besides that, the environment lacked the same animated look. Other than the forest off to my side, the world had a vibrant, colorful appearance. Looking at the forest, everything was kind of dark. If I peered at the trees, I could make out individual knots and roots sticking out of the ground. They weren’t just one solid color with some cartoonish differences like in the show.

Peering deeper into the forest, I noticed something else. Far off into the distance, things weren’t as blurry as I was used to unaided, which was nice, as I was used to wearing contacts due to my vision being shit. I placed a hoof over each eye and peered into the distance. My vision was just as clear in each eye. This meant that my current body wasn’t just my old body in a pony form. I had a new body with noticeably better vision.

This also meant I was totally off my rocker. I thought I was in the televised world of a cartoon. Either that or I was seeing things. I do remember hearing that psychosis includes vivid hallucinations. I wasn’t sure how accurate that was, but that made more sense than me being in a cartoon world.

First things first, my priority was finding some other creatures. If not just to prove I’m dreaming, it’d be to find some enjoyment in this utopia while I still could.

My vision wandered back to the forest. Just looking at it gave me the eerie sensation I was being watched.

I wasn't sure it was the Everfree Forest, and even if it was, I don't remember anybody actually being injured in it when I watched the show. It'd make my journey far shorter.

I could find civilization faster. Find out if there were more ponies faster. I could work on maybe getting back to my old life faster.

Exhaling slowly, I took a tentative footstep toward the forest. Then another. Then a third.

And that's when my body locked into place. I started shaking as I found my legs unwilling to obey my commands to move. It was as if I'd lost complete control over my body.

“Move!” I commanded myself.

“No, I’m scared!” argued a voice in the back of my mind pitifully.

“Oh for the love of… this is a hallucination! Either that or a really weird dream. I’m in somebody’s room, probably my own as it’s Friday night, and I’ll be fine when I wake up.”

“I’m too scared to go into the forest,” replied the pathetic voice.

One part of me wanted to sack up and travel through the forest, but the other, more wimpy side of me just wanted to find some sympathetic adult and cry into their chest. Great. The stupid child body came with a stupid child brain and stupid child emotions.

Well, when stuck by fear, there’s always one viable solution.

Not giving myself any time to second-guess my decision, I sank to my haunches and lifted my injured leg, then smacked it to the ground as hard as I could. Tears instantly flooded in my eyes as I instantly doubled over in pain and my muzzle hit the dirt.

Temporarily distracted by the pain and the crying inside my head, I stumbled to my three good legs and limped into the forest.

The trek was long. It was boring, and a couple minutes in, I realized it may be futile. Sure, Ghastly Gorge was near Ponyville, but what if the forest I was in right now wasn't Everfree Forest, and I had gone in the complete opposite direction?

Fuck! I'm so stupid! I don't even know if there was a town this way!

A chill ran up my spine as I froze in my tracks. I could either continue the way I was going, risk traveling away from civilization, and throw myself into even more danger—or I could turn around and risk the same. What if I got lost or couldn't find somebody else in time?

I forced myself to keep moving.

Did kids starve faster than adults? Was that a thing? How long could I viably be lost before I couldn't move or fight back anymore? Could I eat grass? Real-life horses can, and I know humans can't because of some enzyme we don't have, but I'd never seen a pony do it in the show.

I could try hunting, but even if this weak filly body could hunt, I'm pretty sure horses can't digest meat. There's always the local flora, but I had no idea which ones were poisonous. If I ate poison I could just be helpless to a predator.

I saw a collection of ravens about ten feet ahead, clustered around something I couldn't make out. There were flies flying around them.

That wasn't a good sign. Ravens congregating like that either meant trash… or a carcass.

What about predators? What if I ran into a starving bear or hungry wolf? I had no tools to defend myself, I didn't even—

My hoof shot up to my forehead.

I had a horn.

Oh thank god.

My heart dropped when I made it to the ravens. As they flew away, I noticed something red on the ground. One closer look told me all I needed to know.

I could tell it was an animal. Probably a little under half my size. But now it was just some bloodstained bones, almost picked clean by the birds.

I was in a hunting ground.

And right then, since of course the universe wasn't done fucking with me, I heard the last noise I wanted to hear:

The very growl of a wolf behind me.

Oh shit.

Author's Note

Yup, ol' Jinzou finally caved and made a HiE. And don't worry, it's not a self insert or wish fufillment, I'm still highly allergic to those.

Anyway, this is going to have a different release schedule than my last story. I'm thinking a chapter a week because I've had a very serious writing slump since Spring Bloom Withers came out. Like, a six month one.

So yeah, I'm publishing this now because I need the pressure and the people who actually like my story to push me to keep writing it. I hope you'll stick it out with me, because I do have some very good, cute chapters coming up that will absolute grab at your heart.

I'd like to thank Boopy Doopy's Mind Over Matter and Greenhorne's Trust Once Lost for inspiration for this story, they're awesome people with awesome stories, and you should totally check them out if you like the "HiE, but as a pony" theme.

Smoke on the Horizon

Turns out they didn’t have chocolate. They offered cherry, alfalfa, and apple. I was almost tempted to try alfalfa just to see what it was like, but went with cherry in the end. It tasted god-awful.

As I tried my best to enjoy what must have been a sugar-free lollipop, I felt the nurse staring at me. I met her gaze for a moment. She gave me one of those fake smiles.

“What?” I asked.

“Do you need anything else?” she asked, hiding an impatient tone. “Some coloring books, maybe?”

Coloring books? How old did she think I am? Actually, on that thought, how old was I?

“No ma’am.” I responded. “Maybe just a normal book?”

I could probably gauge how old she thought I was by what kind of book she brought. I swear though, she brings me something along the lines of what a first grader would read, I was flipping shit.

“Of course. I’m afraid after that there really are other patients I must see, but before I go, do you need to use the restroom?”

Okay, so I was very young. That or…

I stared down at my forehooves. Yeah, so using the bathroom as a quadruped with one of my limbs out of the question was actually a bit of an issue. That, and I didn’t really know how bathrooms worked here.

For a moment I tried moving around my tail. Twitching it even a bit. It didn’t work. Well, whole new set of muscles, what did I expect? Shit. Yeah, definitely gonna need help. Also gonna have to find some way to explain why I didn’t know how to move one of my appendages.

God, I was way too sober for this shit. Give me a couple appletinis, or rum and cokes and I’d have the patience for this. Maybe a-

Focus, you idiot! The nurse is waiting for my answer.

Alright, let’s get this over with.

I nodded my head and followed Sweetheart out the door.

Same organ, similar plumbing, my main issue was moving my tail, which I eventually managed looping around a rear leg with some help from the nurse. I didn’t have to look to know she was gazing at me strangely because of that, but screw it.

The bathroom was simple. It consisted of what looked like a piss trough built into the floor, descending in the middle to make a “v” shape, and having a drain on the end closest to the sink. On the other side of the trough was a hole, with a pull cord hanging down from the ceiling in front of it. There was a toilet paper holder rod built up from the floor next to it. I suppose a human-like toilet bowl wouldn’t work as well for quadrupeds.

After I finished up, sighing in annoyance as I needed help wiping, I made my way over to the sink. The faucet looked about the same, and the bowl to catch the sink water seemed a little smaller than I was used to. Thankfully, the hot and cold water levers -also the same as a human sink- were something I could just put my hoof behind and pull toward me, so I didn’t have to explain to the nurse why I had no idea how to do hoof magic.

After trying my best to wash my hooves, I gazed into the mirror. Well, I looked strange, for sure, but also kind of cute. The proportions were the same as the show, giant eyes in the front of my head, but I had noticeable fur. It wasn't completely smooth like I remember the show.

Okay, so what could I ascertain from my own reflection? My eyes were completely forward facing, so that implied a predator. After quickly comparing eyes with the nurse watching me through the mirror, it became clear that my pupils were naturally smaller. So I was more sensitive to light, or something along the lines of a low-light hunter. But I knew equines in both my world and the world from the show are naturally herbivores. To test my theory, I opened my mouth and gazed at the underside of my teeth. Well, they were all molars, but that’s not what grabbed my attention at first. What my eyes were brought to were… divots? There was a thin hole in front of both my front and bottom teeth. I closed my mouth and tried exploring this area with my tongue. The skin was firm, but parted with a bit of effort. That made me think they were natural and not carved into me, or some crazy other thing.

With a push, I got my tongue deeper into the area, and instantly felt my tongue get sliced open. I quickly pulled it out and clamped my jaws shut in response to the pain. A moment later, I felt something slide out from in between my gums. A quick look revealed all I needed to know.

I had fangs.

Right around my front teeth were four sharp fangs protruding from my top and bottom jaws, coming from the hole in front of my teeth. Not just that, but it looked like more fangs were peeking out from that hole. Okay. I had a complete set of incisors and a complete set of molars. The fangs sprouted after the pain, so I assumed they were a defense mechanism and not just something that came out if I decided I wanted to eat meat. I wasn’t hungry enough to consider devouring a mouse or something, so I couldn’t fully tell.

I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths, after which I felt the fangs receding back into my mouth. I pulled back my lips and inspected my molars next. They weren’t pearly white, but tinted slightly yellow. There were no apparent cavities. So this body had dental hygiene, but hadn’t been keeping up with it, at least recently. It hadn’t been ignoring it for so long the teeth looked terrible, though.

So that, and the fact that I didn’t seem anywhere close to starving hinted at a solid diet. The condition of my teeth proved I was from a functional enough home that I did have solid hygienic habits, but also felt safe enough to not do it every day. At least, that’s what I took from it. Then again, if this body was just poofed out of nowhere, all my speculation was pointless.

Next I took a look at the scales adorning my muzzle and traveling up my face. I tapped on them. The sensation was dulled, but I felt it. From this, I assumed that it wasn’t meant as legitimate armor, but perhaps just an evolutionary quirk. Looked pretty cool, though. I twisted my head to the side to get a look at my mane. It was uncombed and there were apparent knots, but I did just walk through a forest and get attacked by a giant fucking wolf, so I dunno if I could really make any notes in regards to that.

Next, I spun around, trying to inspect as much of my body as closely as I could. There were no mysterious, unexplained bruises. No hidden lacerations that I could find. All in all, the only injuries my body had were the ones I had been there when I got. Well, minus the broken leg.

If my body had existed before I entered it, I think the chances were good that I wasn’t abused. So that means either I was thrown from the train, or decided to jump off myself for a reason that was centered in mental health. That, I couldn’t measure as well, especially from inside of the brain that could have had the mental health issues.

After unlooping my tail I turned around and nodded to Sweetheart, who led me down the short hallway to my room. The walls in the hallway were green and blue, and each treated with the same design. Thick white lines in a rough, yet consistent, hill-y shape all the way down. One interesting thing I did notice is how none of the rooms had designations. No sign saying what doctor’s room it was, no numbers, not even those color tabs you can pull out to signal whether the room is occupied, empty, or needs cleaning. I was three doors down and to the left when walking from the bathroom. That seemed important to know.

Sweetheart opened the door, and I was greeted to the same black and white checkered rug and the same bed with purple blankets next to a window with teal curtains. Sweetheart quickly explained that the “call nurse” button on the side of the bed would, shockingly, call a nurse in case I needed anything. After helping me up, she told me she was gonna go grab me a juice box and a book, then quietly took her leave.

As I waited for her to return I flopped onto my back and stared at the ceiling. The ceiling was those white tiles with all the black dots on it, and I amused myself by trying to count the dots. Quickly getting bored, I looked for something else. There were other things on the ceiling, I'm assuming lights and speakers, with weird symbols written on them. I know they were usually serial numbers, but these didn't look like any numbers I'd ever seen.

"Here you are, Sunny!" Sweetheart called out, pushing a cart into my room with a small bottle of juice with a straw and a book laying on it. I instantly recognized the cover photo of Daring Do. "Entertainment and a drink with a smile."

"Oh sweet, is the smile in the juice?" I joked. "Must be a pony thing."

Sweetheart chuckled and rolled her eyes. “No. Unfortunately, we’re not quite at the point where we can bottle happiness.”

“Oh, but we can.” I replied without thinking. “They just come in bottles that say 92 proof.”

It took several moments for my brain to catch up with what I just said. And when it did, I let out an unintentional cringe.

“Oh uh… I mean...” I stammered.

“Sunny, dear…” Sweetheart trailed off. “Do you know what that means?”

“I uh..” I stammered. “Well like, yeah, but it’s not like… um...”

“Has somepony made you drink something you didn’t recognize or didn’t want?”

Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap!

“N-no, ‘course not! I just uh… h-heard my dad say that one time, and thought it sounded cool!”

“Dear, listen.” Sweetheart placed a hoof gently on my shoulder. “It’s okay if you were told not to tell anypony else. You aren’t in trouble, and I won’t tell… whoever asked you not to say anything that you told me. It could be our little secret.”

“No no, really.” I flashed a weak smile. “It’s just something I heard one time.”

Sweetheart spent a moment gazing into my eyes, her brows furrowed and a slight frown on her face, then nodded.

“Okay, Sunny. I am going to have to tell the doctor about this, okay?”

I nodded mutely, my whole body feeling numb.

“You should go ahead and try to get some sleep. Remember, that button will call me if you need anything.”

I nodded again as she left the room.

I waited until I was sure she was out of earshot before screaming into my pillow, then throwing it across the room.

“Stupid, stupid, STUPID!” I growled to myself. “What the hell was I thinking?”

I turned around and buried my face into the remaining pillow. There had to be a fix for this. I could have just have screwed everything up. What if they tried to send me to rehab or had some cop question me? Can you even send a child to rehab? And what if I did have worried family, family that actually cared for me searching for this body? Now I just got them in trouble too!

I cringed internally. The thoughts were racing through my head at a million miles an hour and the only suggestion my mind could come up with was another glass of mixed 92 proof. Or to get some way more serious painkill-

Morphine!

That's it!

It would have a different result than straight alcohol, but dammit, right now I just needed something to quiet my mind.

But the nurses had me only on regular pain tablets now, so I'd have to be crafty in convincing them I needed to step up to morphine.

I chewed on my lower lip as I gazed around the room, my sight eventually settling on the metal part of the bedframe. If I was gonna do this, I had to be convincing. I had to know exactly what to tell them. I could say I had a nightmare, but they just left and I…

I could play it to my advantage. Mysterious little girl with some issues, they’d overlook some of the logic, at least until after I got a little something to calm my nerves. And then, I’d imagine it’s far easier to play dumb as a child.

See, the problem was that I was a terrible liar. I couldn't tell what situations a little lie would save me a lot of trouble in, and even if I could, I was just straight up a bad liar.

But I was a decent actor.

I slowly extended my left foreleg and lined the injured portion up with the metal of the bedframe. I lifted it up and prepared to swing down, but froze. I tried again and froze again.

I didn't want to hurt myself. I could also fuck up my recovery, or injure the bone more!

“Stop!” I screamed internally. “This shit is why you need your crutch! Stop overthinking this and just do it!”

But I couldn't bring myself to finish the swing. I needed to distract myself somehow, I needed to-

I lunged forward and sank my teeth into my right foreleg as hard as I could. I tasted blood and fought back a scream.

With a shot of adrenaline, I lifted my left foreleg up and brought it down twice on the bedframe as hard as I could, unable to suppress a scream of pain as my foreleg felt like it exploded.

I curled in on myself as my eyes instantly flooded with tears. I felt around with my right foreleg and managed to find the "call nurse" button as I started shaking like a leaf.

Moments later the door clicked open and the cheery voice of Nurse Sweetheart called out.

"Hello Sunny, how can I- OH MY GOODNESS!"

She rushed to my side, gently picking me up and frantically looking me all over, growing several shades paler when she spotted my bad leg curled into my chest and my other foreleg dripping blood.

"I.. had a nightmare… bugs were eating me…" I choked between sobs, throwing the leg that wasn't broken around the nurse's neck and pulling her into a shaky hug for good measure.

"I-i-it hurts… so much," I sobbed into her coat as she carefully returned the embrace. "Help…"

I'll admit, I felt completely shitty for deceiving the nurse like this, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

"P-please…" I gave out a wet sniffle, doing my best to look just like an injured, scared child crying in pain. Turns out it's not hard to convince ponies you're vulnerable when you look like a little girl and are actually crying in pain. "Make i-it stop…"

"Redheart!" Sweetheart called out into the hallway. I briefly wondered if all the nurses' names ended in -heart. "Get the doctor!"

Looks like everything was going according to plan.

Author's Note

Thanks to Lemonshrike Catworthy for pre-reading.

Jenny's Battle Against the Lord of Chaos pt. 1

"Hello!" A sudden deep voice whispered in my ear, startling me awake. My eyes shot open. Bed, room, Noi sleeping on my hip. That's right, I was watching her for secondary drowning symptoms as she slept.

I looked around the room, instantly spotting the intruder. Snake body, yellow and red eyes, horns, and two mismatched paws.

Oh goddammit. The one day that promises to be easy and of course Discord shows up.

Him being redeemed was one of the last things I remember about the show. Well, shit. I hope it stuck.

"Uh, hello?" I feigned innocence. "Who are you?"

"Discord, at your service." He bowed his neck and stuck the lion paw out to shake. Unsurely, I took it. He began to shake violently, letting out a wicked laugh when his paw popped off mid-shake.

Upon seeing my lack of reaction, he stopped laughing. "Strange, that usually gets more of a reaction. You must be Sunny Meadows? I had a wonderful visit with your sister Smoky Trails last night. She tried to beat me up!"

Discord looked anything but regretful about that.

"Oh gosh, you think she's okay?" Sunny asked suddenly.

"Absolutely." I thought back to her. "This guy isn't harmful, he just treats life as a giant dick measuring contest."

"Well that's not very nice of you." Discord scolded in my head.

"Gah!" I shouted in surprise. "Get outta my head!"

"Shhh!" Discord stuck a finger over my muzzle, pointing at Noi, who was now shifting around. "She's trying to sleep."

With a sudden snap of his eagle talons, I found myself on the floor, and with a quick turn around, I saw Noi snuggled up in her blankets, still peacefully sleeping.

"So, Jenny! Sunny! My favorite little chaos creators! Oh you don't know how long I've wanted to meet you two! Two kirin in a pony town, stirring up chaos all over? I'm a huge fan, gotta say."

I blinked in surprise.

"Oh yes human, I know who you are." Discord adopted a shit-eating grin. "I've been following your adventure quite closely. Gotta say, a bit heavy on the drama and tragic backstories, but still, two thumbs up!"

Discord stuck out his lion's paw, which now had two thumbs pointing up.

"Let's take a look at the reviews!" Discord chortled, pulling out a magnifying glass and staring at a random point on the wall next to him. "Ooh, your approval ratings have gone way up, Jenny! Though I'm afraid dear Smoky can't say the same."

A third hand came up to stroke Discord's beard thoughtfully. "Most is rather par for the chorus. One long comment about potatoes, gotta say I approve. Aaaaannnd. Oh, dear!" Discord dropped the magnifying glass and placed all three paws on his hips sternly. "My, my. That's sort of an inappropriate question. She's eleven!"

I let out a loud sigh. He was just trying to bait me now. I'd almost call it a half-assed effort.

"Oooh." Discord grinned wider. "And more comments about how absolutely hi-larious I am! I'll be here all week folks! Try the veal! Don't, actually, bovines are sentient in this world."

"This guy is wacky." Sunny commented.

"Pretty sure that's the only part of his personality other than 'man-child'." I monotoned back.

"Correct!" Discord chirped, holding up a character sheet with a picture of him. "That's why they made me a dungeon master. Coming up with creative characters is sadly not one of my abilities."

I grit my teeth and rolled my eyes.

"Aren't you the least bit curious about what I'm talking about?" Discord put on his best attempt at puppy eyes. It didn't work.

"I'm curious how long it will take you to f*** off." I spat, my swear being, somewhat predictably, replaced by a seagull's shriek. That makes it twice I've been censored by a living annoyance. Not a lot of times, but strange that it happened twice. In the same week.

"A classic reference." Discord nodded in approval.

"Get out of my head."

"No thank you."

From behind me, Noi started shuffling around. With a sleepy yawn, her head poked off the bed.

"Noi!" Discord exclaimed. "How's my favorite daughter of a carrot horse?"

"Uhm…" Noi stammered. "He-hello Mister Discord."

"Ah," Discord blew a raspberry. "Mister Discord was my father. If I ever had one. Who knows? I do! But nopony else does! Call me Lord of Choas!"

"Um…"

"I'm so chaotic I even misspelled chaos!" Discord squealed. "Ain't I a stinker?"

Noi and I fixed him with a deadpan stare in stereo.

"Ugh." Discord rolled his eyes. "No love for the meta humor."

"Can you beat it already?" I snapped. "We need to get ready for the day and do little filly shit. Nothing that would interest you. Go bother somebody else."

"Oh but you aren't a little filly, are you Jenny?" Discord's stupid smile grew. "Stop hiding who you really are, girl."

With a snap of his lion's paw I found myself kneeling on the floor. But not kirin me. Not the body I shared with Sunny. My human body. Thankfully, clothed. A quick look around spotted Noi staring wide eyed at me from her bed, and the body I had recognized as my own for the last two weeks next to me.

"Jenny?" Sunny gasped.

I took a moment to stare down at my hands. I flexed my fingers. They moved.

I looked back up at Sunny. "Y-yeah."

My voice coming out as deep as it did startled me at first. It was familiar, yet alien.

Sunny stared at me for another moment, then leapt suddenly into my arms. Instinctively I wrapped an arm under her rump and one across her back, my fingers in her mane as I held her close. Sunny flung our-, her forelegs around my neck. She nuzzled into my cheek.

I held her close as she warmed herself. It was like holding a purring cat, but like, ten times better.

It was oddly perfect.

"Awww," Discord cooed. "I almost feel bad for this. But you girls said you needed to get ready."

With another snap I found myself falling, all of a sudden a lot shorter. I stretched out an arm, and a familiar-looking kirin foreleg responded instead.

"Sunny, you okay?" I thought to her.

"Fine." She responded. "It might have been short, but at least I got to hug you like I've been wanting."

"Ugh, never transforming you into that again." Discord gagged. "Whatever you were, you were uh-gly."

"Discord." I spoke sternly, turning to the piece of shit that looked like he was withholding a giggle fit.

"That's not even the best part!" Discord snickered, pointing to…

Holy shit. I mean, it was clearly Noi, but…

Looking back at Discord with a panicked expression was a generation 3.5 MLP version of Noi.

"...Why the long face?" Discord howling in laughter, floating on his back.

Noi jumped off the bed and to the mirror in the corner of the room, letting out a loud scream, as she felt her new face.

"DISCORD!" I shouted. "YOU BETTE-"

With another snap I found myself unable to yell. Or even speak. Every attempt just led to bubbles floating out of my mouth. With a final chuckle, Discord wiped a tear from his eye and addressed me.

"Oh lighten up, my little monster friend." Discord smiled. "I'll change you two back after I have some more fun. I haven't had this good a laugh in ages."

Discord straightened up and looked to the door, no doubt heading out and terrorizing more innocent ponies.

If I spent a second to consider the actions of what I was about to do, I probably would have realized just how dumb my choice was. But I've never been known for thinking ahead.

With a mighty leap, I crashed right into Discord, my horn meeting his stomach with as much force as I could manage.

He barely moved as I flopped to the floor.

Almost instantly I was back on my hooves, and the smile was gone from his face. The sudden burst of adrenaline dying away, I gulped audibly.

I had just pissed off the closest thing this universe had to a god.

"You want to attack me?" Discord growled. "Me?"

Trying to hide my shivering and panicked breathing, I nodded, trying to keep a brave face.

"Finally!" Discord shouted triumphantly. I found myself collapsing to my haunches, my mouth stuck wide open. "A creature in this boring country with a bit of backbone!"

With one final snap, Noi looked normal.

Discord leaned in and shook my hoof. "A spitfire and a chaos creator! Oh, you're my favorite little creature here! Well, except Fluttershy of course."

Ah, he simps the quiet yellow one. Understandable. I would too. Especially if she went Flutterbitch and tried to dom.

Oof, hot.

"Jenny, you're being gross again." Sunny commented.

I shook my head furiously.

"I'll have to come around more often." Discord flashed a manic smile. "Just you wait, little kirin, I'm about to enhance your entire day with my presence!"

"Uh… please don't." I rasped.

With another triumphant laugh, Discord disappeared.

For a moment there was abject silence, Noi continuing to stare into the mirror, and me replaying the scene in my mind.

"You know…" I began to Sunny. "I do have to question why when there's a chaotic lord in the room, your first thought when you see a new creature that claims to be me is to hug it."

"It was you." Sunny stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And I know you would never let me be in danger. So that means I finally get to hug you like I've been wanting!"

"Yeah, I'd never let you be in danger. If we don't count both forelegs, the timberwolf, and the drinking." I rattled off.

"I was responsible for one foreleg, you hurt the other before you knew I existed, the timberwolf was in a forest, and we're in a town, and the drinking? You got a disease. I know you fought it." Sunny sent a smile to me. "C'mon silly, I already forgave you for all that."

Ah, child-like innocence.

"Yeah well, I still got that 'disease'. Who knows what might come of it?" I challenged. "And you really shouldn't forgi-"

"Yeah, yeah." Sunny sassed me. "I shouldn't forgive so easily because the world is so full of darkness and evil and blah blah blah. Just like this family who fostered us out of the kindness of their own hearts, and you, who's still done her best to look out for me after allllllll the stuff that's happened to you. You fought your addiction disease this long, I don't doubt you can keep fighting it till you're cured! And I'll be cheering for you all the way."

My chest erupted in pain as my heart figuratively grew three sizes and broke upon her words.

"Besides, being forgiven isn't up to the one being forgived. It's up to the forgiver. So… nyeh. Deal with it."

"Twerp." I muttered. Sunny giggled and I found myself desperately wishing I could have held her just a few moments longer.

"Hey, uh…" I thought to her before promptly shutting that line of thought off. I mean, we'd been through some crap together, sure, but it'd only been two weeks. Could I really say…

"What is it?"

Yeah. Yeah I could.

"Love you, kiddo."

An overwhelming wave of warmth and happiness hit me like a semi truck.

"I love you too, Jenny!" Sunny chirped.

"Aaaannyway." I turned, trying to hide the blush I was convinced must be stuck on my face. "Noi, you alright?"

"Worst way ever to wake up." Noi grumbled. "So I guess you met Discord."

I merely nodded.

"Don't worry." Noi placed her hoof on my shoulder in what she must have been convinced was a reassuring fashion. "He comes around to annoy random families sometimes. But it's okay because he made a promise to Miss Fluttershy to never actually hurt anypony."

"Yet terrorizing them is fine?" I rolled my eyes.

Noi looked down. "Apparently if he doesn't do that he fades away and… stops existing."

"Sounds like his problem." I commented.

Noi looked aghast. "But he could die! I… I think! I mean, Princess Twilight seems to believe him."

"Well…" I sighed. "Sounds like he's coming back."

Noi nodded. "Let's go tell mom."

Well, it turns out Noi couldn't tell Golden, because as we left the bedroom, both Golden and Script were busying themselves around the kitchen… as puppets.

"Script dear," Puppet-Golden spoke in a rather pitiful impression of Golden's actual voice. "Isn't it such a beautiful day with our three beautiful kids?"

"Of course, honey." Script's jaw flapped open and closed like a nutcracker. Discord's impression of Script was even worse than his impression of Golden. "Almost as spendifloriously beautiful as Discord."

I rolled my eyes. "Discord, that's not even a word, Script would never say that. Also I'm pretty sure psychological harm counts as harm, and Noi seeing her parents puppet-ified counts as that."

With an annoyed grunt, Discord appeared in two places above both puppet ponies, dropping the rods used to move puppets and glaring at me.

"Also was your ineptitude at impressions natural or part of the act?" I challenged, sitting at my place at the table and ignoring the lifeless puppets around me. Noi followed my example nervously.

Without a single word returned, Discord snapped, and disappeared. A normal Golden and Script made their way to their hooves, looking no worse for the wear.

"Ugh. Just as horrible the second time." Script grunted, making his way to the kitchen, and moving four bowls of oatmeal with brown sugar to the table.

"You've been made a puppet before?" I asked.

"Not an oddity around here." Golden replied with a groan, sitting at the table next to me. "He made me plastic once. Kept commenting how my mane was brushable, despite the 'shoddy worksmanship'. Whatever that means. Not too uncommon around here."

Yup, not commenting on that. Not even thinking about that.

As soon as I took my first bite of oatmeal, I figured out Discord's next prank.

I sighed. "Anybody else's oatmeal taste like soap?"

A chorus of "no" responded.

I took a second to look around, then spotted Discord's face on the pepper shaker.

I defiantly took another bite as I maintained eye contact.

"Weak, Discord." I spoke. "I used to drink straight vodka on a daily basis, this ain't nothing. You're gonna have to try harder."

Three blank stares watched one as I stared down the pepper shaker through another bite of oatmeal. Then with another annoyed grunt, the pepper shaker vanished.

"Discord that's our property." Golden called out. "Can we have that back?"

With a small poof, the pepper shaker appeared above Golden's head. It fell sideways onto her mane, spilling at least a quarter of its contents.

"Such a sore loser." Golden sighed, never losing her own deadpan expression. I had to suppress a snort.

"Is it really smart to challenge such a powerful being?" Sunny asked nervously.

"Please." I responded mentally. "It's basically a one sided prank war. Discord has ego, but won't hurt us. Buuuut, if you don't want to see the ugliness this might devolve to, I'd advise you to go dormant like you used to."

"Promise you'll be okay?"

"I promise."

Much of the day passed without incident. Since I didn't leave the house much, Discord was limited with what he could do. When I went to study Ponish, he made the characters swim around. Literally swim, they had cartoon hands and legs and snorkels and were swimming around the page.

Then he tried making the lights randomly go off. Stopped with an annoyed huff when I reminded him somebody could hit something or trip in the dark, and that would break the rule.

He tried making things catch on fire next, of course without the thing being damaged. Naturally that led to a partial meltdown on Sunny's part, so Discord quickly stopped that.

This went on until about lunchtime, where Discord was staring at me with rage after his "turn the floors into soap" idea just led to Noi and I skating around, laughing as we bumped into everything and each other over and over.

"You know, Discord." I fixed him with a wide, innocent grin. "Despite your best efforts, this has still been the most boring day I spent in Equestia so far. Maybe you should try retiring, you clearly lost your edge."

I saw both his hands tensing, his eyes spelling murder, and then he stopped. Just… froze. A wicked grin appeared on his face.

"Oh dear young Jenny, I'm only started with you."

"Well at this point all I have to worry about is being bored to death." I winked at him.

It probably was stupid to antagonize again, especally such a powerful being, but shit. It was fun as hell. A good destress after all the crap that's been going on. And it's not like he could do anything really bad.

"Oh, you'll cause some real chaos yet, little human." Discord let out a deep, throaty chuckle.

And with a final snap from his fingers, the floor beneath me disappeared. And I was falling and falling, and the only thing around me was his stupid laugh coming from everywhere.

All of a sudden there was a great bright light.

And then everything went green.