Can I Get An Order of Brisket?
“Is there anything else I can get for you?”
Pinkie Pie was getting full and had been in the restaurant for a good twenty minutes. She made her final decision to the waiter.
“Uh, you know, I’m actually getting pretty full. Maybe just two more orders of the brisket.”
“Two briskets? Sure, I’ll have that right out for you.”
“Thanks.” Pinkie was then deep in thought. “Oh my God I’m so full. Why did I do that? Bro, you could’ve just ordered one. Why did you get two? No no no no no it’s All You Can Eat. I gotta get my money’s worth. Yeah I gotta scan them. Yeah yeah yeah yeah I gotta scam them.”
“And here you go.” The waiter brought back two plates of brisket.
“Oh, thank you,” Pinkie replied.
“No problem. Let me know when you want the check.”
“Actually, can I get another order of the brisket?”
The waiter turned around to see that Pinkie had already finished the briskets even though he handed them to her seconds ago.
“Wait. What just happened to the two briskets I brought you?”
“I ate it.”
“I literally turned around for a second.”
“I ate it,” Pinkie replied.
“How did you finish it that fast?”
“And I request another order of brisket please.”
“Yeah… sure.” The waiter just ignored the previous event and headed to fetch Pinkie more briskets. Pinkie watched the waiter walk away to fetch her more briskets until he was out of her sight.
“How did I eat that so fast!?!?!?!” she thought. “I’m going to die! I’m literally going to die!!”
“Here you go,” the waiter said, handing Pinkie another plate of brisket.
“Dang, that was fast.” “Damn that was fast! I didn’t even get a break!” Pinkie thought to herself. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Can I get another order of brisket again?”
The waiter turned around to see the same outcome, Pinkie finishing the briskets even though he handed them to her seconds ago.
“Bro, how did you finish that so fast?”
“I HAVE NO IDEA!!!” Pinkie thought. “I ate it.”
“Okay. Are you sure you want another order man?”
“Yes.”
“You know if you don’t finish it, you’ll have to pay extra right?”
Pinkie then changed her mind. “Oh… okay then. Nevermind.”
“Alright cool. I’ll bring you the check.”
As the waiter headed to get the check, Pinkie quickly interjected.
“W-wait,” she called out.
“Yes?”
“Can I get another water please?”
“Of course. I’ll be right ou-”
“And two more orders of brisket.”
Pinkie and the waiter then stared at each other for a good five seconds.
“Are you sure?”
“Affirmative.” “NEGATIVE NEGATIVE!! RETREAT RETREAT!!!” Pinkie thought.
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
“Okie dokie!” “NO COME BACK!! PLEASE I WAS KIDDING!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!?!?!?! STOP ORDERING MORE MAN YOU CAN’T EAT ANYMORE!!!” On the inside, Pinkie felt as if she could explode in any second.
“Here you go man.”
“Thanks! Can I get one more order of the brisket?”
“You gotta finish these two before I can-”
“I did finish them silly!”
The waiter, confused, looked at the two plates seeing that the briskets had vanished.
“WHAT!?!?!?!?!”
“Can I get another order of the brisket?”
“Bro how did you… I was holding the plates!”
“I’m once again asking for another order of the brisket please.”
“HOW!?!?!?!”
“I ate it.”
“I KNOW YOU ATE IT MAN BUT… HOW!?!?!?!”
“Another order of brisket.”
“Hold up man! Let me… let me get my manager!”
“I FEEL LIKE I’M PREGNANT!! It’s okay, it's okay. I’m scamming them. Yeah I’m scamming them. I’m scamming them!” Pinkie thought.
The manager arrived at Pinkie’s table. “Hi. So uh, what seems to be the problem here?”
“Oh nothing. Can I just get another order of the brisket?”
“Unfortunately, the max amount of time for All You Can Eat is two hours. Not too sure how long you’ve been here-”
“Thirty-eight minutes.”
“Huh?”
“I have been eating briskets for thirty-eight minutes. Meaning I still have eighty-two minutes to consume briskets.” “AAAAAHHHH!!!! ANOTHER EIGHTY-TWO MINUTES!?!?!?! I’M GOING TO DIE!!!” Pinkie thought.
“Oh I see. Sorry about that.” “AAAAAHHHH!!!! ANOTHER EIGHTY-TWO MINUTES!?!?!?! I’M GOING TO DIE!!!” the manager thought. “I’ll have your waiter bring out another order of brisket for you.”
“Thank you.”
The manager and the waiter were having a conversation in the kitchen.
“She’s only been there for thirty-eight minutes!?!?!” the manager asked
“I don’t know man,” replied the waiter. “I started losing track of time when the briskets were disappearing out of thin air!!”
“She’s gonna run me out of business man!”
“She’s like… GOD dude! You should’ve seen it! The briskets were just disappearing while I was holding the plates!”
“What am I going to do??”
“I was holding the plates!!”
“Just bring out another order of briskets for her for now.”
“Oh no no no no no. I’m too scared, man! Please!!”
“I will FIRE you Chris!”
Chris was in fear as if his life was about to end. Few minutes later, Chris came back with briskets for Pinkie Pie. “Sorry for the wait. Here’s your brisket.”
“I see what you guys are trying to do,” Pinkie said with a stern look on her face. “You’re trying to waste my time till it’s two hours so I don’t get to eat as much brisket.”
“Oh no no no. It’s just that these work shoes they gave me are really hard to walk in,” Chris lied.
“Oh… okay. You want a pair of running shoes?”
“Oh no. Thanks thou-”
“It’s fine. You can just keep them.”
Chris was confused. “Keep them?” As he looked down at his feet, he realized his work shoes were now replaced with a new pair of running shoes.
“OH no. Oh no no no no no no.”
“Can I get another three orders of brisket?” Pinkie asked.
Chris looked down at the plate of brisket he was holding just to see it disappear again.
“Bro. Bro I was just looking at them. WHAT??”
“Are you okay Tony?”
Chris was confused. Did Pinkie not see his name tag? “My name is Chris.” But as he pointed to his name tag, the name changed from ‘Chris’ to ‘Tony’.
“OHHHH. Oh, she changed my name. She CHANGED my name!”
Tony was back in the kitchen with his manager. “I checked the documents! She legally changed my name!”
“Did she order anything else?”
“Three more briskets man!”
“Oh my God I’m getting scammed. She’s eaten like five cows!”
“I’m in so much pain!” Tony said.
“OHHHHH I’m in so much pain!” the manager repeated.
“I’M IN SO MUCH PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!” Pinkie shouted.
Author's Note
Sorry about the 'Pinkie thought' part or whatever being repetitive. I just didn't know how to write it out and AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
