Running Off the Rails

by daOtterGuy

Rating: teen
Tags: Flash Sentry, Narcotics, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 14450

Flash Sentry is stuck in a time loop on a train.

Flash Sentry just broke up with his marefriend of several years.

Now, he's stuck in a time loop aboard a train.

Flash Sentry would like to stop now.

Edited by LuckyChaosHooves

Entry for the Renaissance Contest with the theme of 'Change'

Narcotics tag for the consumption of alcohol.

Cover Image taken from Unsplash by Kate Bezzubets

Published 2021-07-10 20:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-07-22 19:39:19 UTC

Onboarding

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Flash Sentry woke up with a jolt and banged his head on the ceiling just above his bed.

He hissed in pain as he landed back on the mattress and covered his sore head with both wings while fighting back the urge to scream obscenities.

“Up and at’em, Big Wig,” a brash voice called out from behind the entrance to the train compartment, “We got a busy day of doing nothing to get to.”

Flash grumbled under his breath about annoying, loud unicorns and slammed a hoof down on his alarm clock by the window sill.

Being careful to not fall out of bed, Flash flipped himself over to get his hooves underneath him. He arched his back until he felt it pop, cracked his neck left and right then flopped back down onto his bed with a sigh of relief.

More banging at the door from the aforementioned annoying unicorn alerted him to the apparent urgency of the morning.

With a grunt, Flash attempted to leave his bed and nearly took a tumble to the floor when his hooves decided to be uncooperative.

After ensuring his balance had been righted, he noted the time on his alarm clock, weighed the possibility of food and decided that it would have to wait that morning despite the protests from his stomach.

Flash trotted to a cramped en suite bathroom he only barely fit in and stared at himself in the mirror just above the sink.

A bulky pegasus stared back with blue eyes and heavy bags underneath them. His mane was a mess of blue strands that went in every direction, and his light orange fur hadn’t fared better. He made a note to himself that a regular gym routine was in order when they got back to the Crystal Empire since he noticed that his ‘toned stomach’ was starting to edge towards a gut. A razor was also due before stubble became a beard.

If he was honest, he had been expecting worse.

“Hey, Big Wig.” He heard from the door among several hard knocks against the wood. “Hurry your fat flanks. We got stuff to do.”

Flash groaned in irritation. He covered his mouth with his wing, exhaled and took a whiff. Smelled terribly, but would have to suffice for now.

He opened the bathroom cabinet under the sink and grabbed his stash of mane gel.

He squeezed out a hefty dollop of gel on both hooves and, with one smooth movement, slicked his mane back into a long wave leaving behind a shine from the overabundance of product.

Flash examined his hoofwork. It was sloppy, but it was the best he was going to manage.

He trotted back to the room he shared with his guard partner to the sound of more banging and an exasperated sigh that managed to get through the door.

The train compartment was panelled with a red wood Flash couldn’t name. Two beds were embedded into the wall opposite the bathroom which left only a narrow walkway from the door to the window.

He admired the rolling countryside passing by through the glass before he refocused his attention on the wardrobe beside it.

Flash walked to the front of the wardrobe pressing his backside up against his bed. There were two doors. He opened the left to reveal his duffel bag on the bottom shelf filled with several necessities and his armour resting on a shelf above it.

He proceeded to strap himself into his armour, he had to suck it in to get the straps to their usual girth, and finally made his way to the door.

He undid the latch and slid it open.

On the other side was a slim unicorn mare with dark yellow fur, a chestnut brown mane styled into a faux hawk and golden yellow eyes. The mare’s Cutie Mark was covered by her armour, but Flash already knew it was three triangles stacked on top of each other.

The unicorn rapped Flash on the snout. “Oh, look, Big Wig has finally decided to join us for the day.”

Flash scowled and rubbed his nose with a wing tip. “Okay, seriously, Point Guard, do you have to keep using that nickname? You know I hate it.”

“Yes, or at least until it stops being funny.” Point Guard gave a taunting smirk. “Now, go check in with Next Track for our arrival time and meet me in the caboose for some inventory.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah, fine, Point.” Flash scowled. “Just make sure you actually do your job this time.”

Point Guard guffawed, “Oh lighten up, Big Wig. It Isn’t a big deal.”

“Point, that’s the kind of attitude that makes a guard sloppy.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Point rolled her eyes. “See you later.”

With a flippant wave of a hoof, Point Guard turned away from him and began her trot to the back of the train.

Flash, ready to get on with his duties for the day, walked in the opposite direction of where Point Guard had gone and towards the engine room. The train conductor Next Track would presumably be running the train, though it would be possible that he was resting in the room designated to him.

Hopefully, it wasn’t the latter as Flash didn’t remember where that room was located.

As he walked along the wood panelled corridor towards the engine room he began to hear the rumble of the train becoming louder and more clear with every step.

A constant chugging sound in the background that denoted the forward momentum of the vehicle.

It made him uncomfortable.

He arrived at a metal door and opened it to his least favourite room.

It was cramped, a feeling Flash had about the entirety of the train, but was the worst in the front engine room where space was fought over by pipes and machines that he couldn’t discern the purpose of.

The front of the room was dominated by a massive coal run engine. It was cylindrical in shape, forged from dark grey metal dyed black with coal dust and was lit bright orange by a roaring fire fed by several coal bins on either side of the room.

Standing in front of an amalgamation of pulleys and levers near the furnace was a dark brown earth pony stallion dressed in a striped suit that covered most of his body and a matching wide brimmed flat top hat; All of which were stained with black soot. He had a combed black mane, and a Cutie Mark of a set of train tracks leading towards a half sun.

Flash saw his ears twitch and, after fiddling with several dials on the contraption, he turned towards Flash with bright silver eyes.

“Good morning, Guard Sentry,” Next Track greeted warmly, “I take it your partner is not with you this morning?”

“No, she went ahead to the cargo compartment to start inventory counting,” Flash replied curtly, “When are we arriving in the Crystal Empire?”

“To the point, I see,” Next Track said, ”No time for pleasantries then?”

“Just an update.” Flash paused. “Please.”

Next gave a bemused smile. “Soon. We’ll have arrived once we clear the Crystal Tunnel.”

Flash gave a short nod in confirmation. “Anything suspicious to report?”

“Besides a disgruntled pegasus?” Next Track laughed as Flash glared in response. “No, I don’t. The trip has been largely uneventful.”

“Thank you for the update,” Flash said, “I will be taking my leave.”

Without any additional preamble, Flash turned around and trotted out of the room taking care to avoid slamming into any pipes on his way out.

Next Track simply shook his head in response.

Flash trotted into the next train car after having made a pit stop to the room. He had a hunch that Point Guard had “forgotten” to grab the cargo manifest from their room before heading to the back of the train.

He found the clipboard sitting on the bottom of Point Guard’s shelf of the shared wardrobe, which means Point had gone ahead to the back of the train without him so she could sit and do nothing.

Again.

Which meant he would get saddled with doing all of the work as she “supervised”.

Again.

Flash growled as he slammed the lounge car door behind him.

He surveyed the compartment. It had yellow coin themed wallpaper with wooden baseboard and matching flooring. Along the right side of the room was a long bar with a selection of various bottles of alcohol arranged on built in wooden shelves. On the left side of the car were several tables bolted to the floor with cushions to sit on arranged around them.

Staring out the windows while sipping a glass of what appeared to be brandy was an older mare with pale purple fur, and a dark purple mane tied into a loose bun.

It was early in the day for drinking, but Flash wouldn’t judge someone else on their bad habits. Glancing down he noticed the mare’s Cutie Mark: a violin with an overlapping magnolia flower.

Flash felt something cold grip his insides as he stared at her mark. Her mark denoted that her talent was most likely linked to music.

Specifically playing an instrument.

On second consideration, Flash agreed with the mare. It was in fact an excellent time to drink.

He assumed that the mare had grabbed the bottle off the nearby shelf and just placed it back behind the counter.

Flash raised himself on his back legs and planted his front hooves on the wooden counter. He leaned forward and looked along the surface hidden from view behind the counter wall for the theoretical opened bottle of brandy.

He found it tucked neatly near one of the beer taps.

Flash grabbed the bottle, a clean shot glass, and poured himself a shot.

He took a full swig and grimaced at the sickeningly sweet flavour. It was overbearing and not even close to his usual preference.

He poured himself a second shot.

After swigging down his second, and a third directly from the bottle, he placed the items back where he found them and continued his trot towards the back of the train.

As he opened the door leading onwards, he noticed the compartment become darker signifying that the train had most likely entered the crystal tunnel Next Track had mentioned.

Flash didn’t bother to look as he continued on his way.

Flash swung open another passenger car door. He was sweating from the long trek in full armour and breathing raggedly. He wasn’t sure it was from being out of shape or from the alcohol.

His confidence demanded blame be assigned to the second option.

His ears twitched as he caught onto a strange sound coming up on his left as he trotted down the corridor.

After a short period of walking, he came upon an open passenger compartment.

The passenger cars were similar to the Guard’s car, except with only one bed instead of two as well as significantly nicer bedding.

He found the source of the noise in the form of a pink coated stallion with a messy dark red mane and Cutie Mark of a letter stamped with a heart sprawled out on the floor surrounded by pink envelopes.

He was giggling foalishly as he read through an open letter with his dopey pink eyes. The letter was a darker pink than the envelope it had come in and appeared to be written with white ink.

Flash rolled his eyes and contained his snort of derision at the goofy pony and continued past the open car to his destination: the luggage car door.

He slammed the door open and stomped into the room.

Inside was the storage compartment for the passengers’ luggage. It was panelled with wood from floor to ceiling. The majority of space within the room was filled with stacked suitcases piled high on wooden platforms and tied together with buckled straps.

Flash fought back the irritated sigh at how much work it was going to be to unload all of the luggage when they arrived at the Crystal Empire.

He was really starting to hate Shining Armour’s ‘Civilian Assistance Program’ initiative. He understood Shining Armour’s wish to have the Guard be more accessible to the citizenry, but he was part of the Crystal Guard, previously Royal, and wasn’t meant to be a basic labourer aboard a train.

“‘Bout time you got here, Big Wig.”

Flash turned to the sound of Point Guard’s voice to see her hunched upside down on the floor looking through a magazine she had most likely snatched from one of the earlier lounge cars.

He threw the manifest at her.

“Hey,” Point Guard yelped as she dropped the magazine and covered herself with her hooves to block the clipboard, “What was that for?”

“Seriously, Point,” Flash yelled, “You forgot the shipping manifest, again.” He looked down at the dropped magazine. “Are you kidding me? You’re looking through a Playmare magazine while on shift?”

Point Guard scoffed as she moved into a standing position, “Oh, please, Big Wig. That’s hardly the worst thing either of us have done ‘on shift’.”

“Yeah, when we were new recruits. That kind of behaviour doesn’t fly for veteran guards of more than a year let alone ten.” Flash snorted angrily. “And Point Guard, for the love of Celestia, stop calling me Big Wig.”

“Or what, Big Wig?” She punched his shoulder lightly with a hoof. “You’ll tell Captain Armour?”

“If you keep messing around and not doing your job.” Flash maneuvered himself to be inches from Point’s face. “I will.”

Point Guard growled, “Oh, wow. Aren’t you so high and mighty. You’ve become a real nark since you started dating that mare. Oh, wait, sorry. I guess I mean stopped since she dumped you.”

“This isn’t about being a ‘nark’, Point,” Flash retorted, “We’re veterans in the Guard and we should be acting like it. Also, I don’t exactly appreciate you bringing her into this.”

Point Guard laughed, “You didn’t used to care about that before. You didn’t used to care about anything. Remember when we got into trouble all over Canterlot? When we had fun?” Point rolled her eyes. “You’re such a bore now.”

“Point, that’s what stopped us from going anywhere in the Guard.” Point laughed again. “There’s a time when you need to grow up and get your act together.”

“Get my act together?” She laughed harder. “Have you looked at yourself recently, Big Wig? Trying to live up to my nickname, huh?”

“Low blow, Point.”

She snorted derisively. “Look, Flash. We both know why you want to clean up so bad,” She leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “You’re just hoping your ex will take you back.”

“No, I’m not, Point,” Flash replied, “She broke up with me. It’s over. We're over and she made it clear there wasn’t going to be a second chance.”

“Oh please, Big Wig. There shouldn’t even have been a first.”

Flash tensed. “Excuse me?”

“She’s smart. The smartest in a generation. You’re dumb. Possibly the dumbest in this generation considering you thought you had even had a chance with her,” Point Guard said in a mocking voice.

“Point, that’s out of line!” Flash roared.

Point laughed in his face. “Out of line? What’s out of line is that you thought you had a chance with the Captain’s sister and shows how dense you were to think it would have worked out.”

“I’m not stupid, Point! I just-”

“Dated above your level?” Point sneered. “Seriously, Big Wig. You dated a mare that made you look like a total loser. Maybe try and date-”

Flash punched her in the jaw with his left hoof.

Point Guard fell backwards onto her back. She had a red welt on her lower jaw and a stunned look on her face.

He breathed heavily. He felt dizzy from how angry he was. Despite how much he sweated, he felt cold well up in his gut as he processed what he had done.

“I,” He choked out, “I didn’t mean it.”

Point Guard glared at him. “Don’t tell lies, Flash.”

Flash heard a loud screech come from his left. Both Guards, startled, turned to the noise in time to hear a loud pop sound and to see the wall of the train compartment move upwards along with the rest of it.

The straps tying the piled suitcases snapped and the luggage fell toward them.

Flash blacked out.

Delay in Arrival

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Flash woke up in a blind panic and smashed his head onto the ceiling of his bed.

He hissed in pain and yelled obscenities as he clutched at his battered noggin. He turned to the left and saw he was back in the guard compartment with his alarm clock blaring beside him.

That didn’t seem right. The last thing he had remembered was that he had been in the storage compartment, argued with Point Guard, then-

He stumbled out of bed. A quick survey of the room showed it to be exactly as he had left it that morning with his armour packed in the wardrobe along with the inventory manifest on Point’s side.

The train wasn’t overturned and, after a moment of focus, he could hear the telltale chugging of the train.

Flash stopped and gathered his bearings. The current situation didn’t make any sense. The train had crashed. He knew that.

The most sensible conclusion was that it had all been a dream, but his training as a guard required that he be able to recognize when he was dreaming and nothing pointed towards that conclusion.

Seemingly, he had been sent back to his room and everything had reset to its state from that morning.

Which meant he had travelled back in time?

Flash growled in frustration at his lack of knowledge and looked out the window. He saw a glittering wall of gemstones embedded into the sheer rock face through the clear glass.

“Wait,” Flash said in surprise, “We’re in the tunnel?”

That couldn’t be right. If they were in the tunnel, that meant that he hadn’t travelled in time, he’d just travelled… back to his room?

This was the kind of oddball situation he wished his marefriend, ex marefriend, was around to help solve. She was always better at dealing with this kind of thing.

Flash took a deep breath. No time for regrets, he had to figure this out. Thinking through his actions from before, he had checked in with Next Track, went to storage and then he had a fight with Point Guard. Shortly afterwards, the train derailed, and he was put back to where he woke up.

This had all the trappings of a time loop similar to those science fiction novels his marefriend had read. However, there was still the issue of the train having reached the crystal tunnel instead of being just before it like this morning.

Last morning?

This was confusing.

Flash mulled over the parameters and decided that at least for now, travelling back in time was the most likely scenario. If it was a loop, he assumed that there must be an exit condition. The obvious answer being to stop the train from derailing.

If it was something else, he would have to find out through trial and error.

Flash puffed himself up and smiled contentedly. He was pretty proud of himself for coming up with that. Several years of dating a super nerd had finally rubbed off on him.

Now all Flash needed to do was get some help in stopping the train and hopefully he would break out of this loop in no time at all.

He supposed by logic that the best pony to ask first for assistance was Point Guard. Flash’s body slumped as he remembered the argument from before.

Hopefully, the loop reset before all of that.

“Oh, look who’s come back.” Point Guard sneered. “Here for round two?”

Flash had searched the train car by car hoping to find Point anywhere else, but no such luck. She had been waiting in the storage car.

Evidently, he had not travelled far enough back in time to avoid their previous spat.

“No, I’m not.” Flash took a deep breath. “Point, I’m sorry. I went too far and we should talk about it, but there’s something more pressing-”

“Don’t apologize,” Point interjected, “I’m glad you did it.”

“-happening right now… Wait, what?” Flash asked incredulously.

“I’m glad you punched me.” Point grinned.

Flash could feel his train of thought crumbling around him, “I don’t understand. What I did was wrong.”

“What you did was needed.” Point scoffed. “You’ve been stuck on your ex this entire time, and now you can finally move on.”

“Point, no. That was not okay, I let my anger get the better of me and hit you,” Flash said in disbelief, “That hasn’t helped at all. It’s only made me think I’m worse off than when I started.”

“Ugh, seriously?” Point Guard rolled her eyes. “When are you just going to get over this? You need to get it out of your system and move on.”

“Point, it’s not that simple.”

“Ugh, yes it is, Big Wig.” Flash gritted his teeth at the use of that nickname. “You get over it and then you find somepony else to be with. You are making a huge deal about nothing.”

Flash could feel himself heating up in anger. He hated it.

“Point, you don’t just let things go that-”

“Yes, you do. Your feelings about this are pointless. You need-”

“My feelings are not pointless! Stop disregarding-”

“Ugh, why are you such a foal. Seriously-”

“I am not a foal. I’m trying-”

“Yeah, whatever you need to tell yourself, Big Wig. You know-”

“Stop calling me that!” Point Guard took a step back, “Stop calling me that name! Stop saying I’m useless! Stop trying to get me to lose what little I have of myself!”

“I don’t want to deal with this right now!” Flash yelled.

Flash heard a loud screech come from his left.

“Oh, no,” He said.

He turned towards the noise as he heard the familiar pop, saw the ties snap, and the luggage careen toward him.

Flash blacked out.

Flash smashed his head into the ceiling of his bed for what was the fifteenth time by his count.

He groaned as he rubbed his head with a wing. He had spoken with Point Guard for each of those loops and hadn’t once been successful in bringing up the topic of the train derailing.

Every conversation had progressively gotten worse and worse with each interaction. His last try had him start by yelling at her when he entered the storage compartment as a follow up to the conversation before that one, which had devolved into nothing but insults.

The only thing he could even remotely be proud of was that he hadn’t lost his cool and punched her a second time.

Despite how much he really really wanted to.

Talking to whom was quickly becoming an ex friend was not working well.

He needed a new plan.

Flash weighed his options. Point Guard was a dead end. He assumed that even with an infinite number of loops, a statement he couldn’t confirm the truth of, he would never resolve their disagreements enough to get Point Guard to actually help him before the train derailed.

That had been a waste of time with the exception of confirming that Flash was in fact stuck in a time loop.

Asking Point Guard for help was off the table. His next option, at least as he saw it, was then to stop the train before it even had a chance to crash.

That meant Next Track.

Flash galloped to the engine car and burst through the door.

“Good morning, Guard Sentry,” Next Track greeted, “How can I-”

“I need you to stop the train,” Flash interrupted.

Next Track tilted his head in confusion. “Why do you need to do that?”

“I have solid intel that the train will derail if we don’t stop it now,” Flash replied.

“Well, it is not my place to question a guard of your position,” Next Track answered, “Give me one moment, while I start up the emergency brake.”

Next Track turned towards the series of levers and pulleys that made up the main interface of the train. He fiddled with several pulleys and knobs before he grabbed a long red lever with both hooves.

He took a deep breath and pulled.

The lever didn’t budge.

“Do you need assistance, Next?” Flash said irritably.

“No, I’m fine, Guard Sentry,” Next Track said, “The emergency brake just isn’t used often, so it may be a little stuck in place.”

Next Track repositioned himself to be on top of the lever and pushed against it using his full weight. This time the lever released a metallic creak as it slowly lowered.

Then it snapped in half and dropped Next Track on the floor with a loud thud.

“Well,” Next Track said, “that is quite unfortunate.”

Flash felt his eyes twitch as he heard the familiar screech coming from outside the train.

He didn’t even bother to try and stop himself from flying into the wall of the engine compartment.

Flash took a deep breath as he woke up in bed once more. He’d finally managed to learn to not smash his head onto the ceiling every time he restarted, but that was the only improvement he’d managed over the course of several loops.

A lot of loops.

Too many loops.

He had recently run out of options. He had tried multiple times to have Next Track stop the train, but that had been pointless. Either a mechanical failure caused the lever to stop working or it was too late to stop the train from derailing.

His attempts at working the emergency brake were best left unsaid.

He had attempted to find the source of the crash, but that had failed on two fronts. The first was that he was too big and couldn’t fit in the small gap between the tunnel and the window to explore the outside of the train.

The second was that there was significantly less train to explore.

He wasn’t sure when it had happened, but a number of cars on the train had disappeared. There was now only the engine room, the storage room, the guard’s bedroom, the lounge car, and a single passenger car.

In terms of ponies, the only inhabitants on the train were himself, Point Guard, Next Track, the mare in the lounge car with the mark he didn’t like to think about, and the pink stallion he thought was a goofball.

Furthermore any of the other doors in the passenger car refused to open with the exception of the already opened car containing the pink stallion.

Having exhausted the possibility of finding the source of the derailment, he had then considered bailing through the back end of the train. He could fly as fast as he could, and hopefully arrive at the Crystal Empire to retrieve help before the inevitable derailment.

There was also no guarantee that the loop would continue if he left, that he would arrive at the Empire with enough time to return with help, or that he could leave the loop through those means.

He would also be leaving everypony on the train to their fates.

Leaving everypony to die.

After having managed to reach the back end of the caboose without any interruptions or interference, he had been ready to launch before his own self loathing caught up with him and he collapsed onto the floor.

He had spent the rest of the loop crying and berating himself for being such a coward for having decided to let everypony potentially die.

He got out of bed carefully and stared into the middle distance not looking at anything in the room.

He should start thinking of his next plan to escape the loop.

He didn’t really care at that point.

Instead, he began the short trot to the lounge car. He noticed the mare was still sitting by the window, staring out into the crystal tunnel. She gave no acknowledgement to his presence.

As she did every loop.

Flash trotted around to the bartender side of the counter, grabbed a half empty bottle of scotch off the shelf, twisted the cap off and chugged the entire thing down in a few hurried gulps.

Then he downed a grape wine.

After that an apple cider.

By the time he hit his fourth bottle, he had accomplished what he set out to do and hit drunk in short order.

By the time the train finally derailed, a large number of bottles were scattered around Flash in several piles around him and he was crying in the comfort of the shadowed corner behind the bar.

Flash rolled out of bed immediately upon waking up. He had to get moving if he wanted to start the loop off right with a bottle of scotch. That had been his favourite from the dozen or so bottles he’d downed.

He exited the guard compartment and began to trot to the lounge area. As he arrived at the door to the car in question, he paused with his hoof pressed on the handle.

The timing on the derailment of the train was inconsistent.

He had managed to get through almost half the shelf of liquor before the train crashed, which had been longer than when he had asked Next Track to stop the train.

He paused as he allowed his thoughts to organize themselves then opened the car door to the lounge.

He surveyed the room and found what he was looking for just above the door he had come in through: a hanging clock.

He grabbed a cushion from one of the lounge tables and dragged it to the bar so he could keep an eye on the clock as it ticked by.

After several minutes of observation, the clock hands stopped moving.

It wasn’t a time loop.

Flash thought back over all of the prior loops and attempted to find a commonality to when the train derailed.

It had derailed when he had reached his limit arguing with Point Guard and desperately needed to stop.

It had derailed when he had reached a stopping point for a specific idea he had about exiting the loop.

It had derailed when he reached a state in which he couldn’t continue on in the loop.

It clicked.

The loop was tied to him.

The train derailed when he derailed.

Him. In his absolutely worst state. When he was desperately avoiding a problem he was having because he didn’t want to deal with it.

His ex had told him about a story she had read once that was similar to this situation. In it, the protagonist could only leave when he had finally attained closure on the issue that was bothering him.

If this was a similar situation, it meant that Flash was going to have to confront what was bothering him and sort through his feelings about the problem.

It could really only be one problem.

Flash wished that the train would mind its own business.

He turned to look at the mare sitting by the window with her ever present wine glass of brandy that bore a mark he didn’t like.

If the train was tied to him, this was clearly intentional.

Flash took a deep breath and trotted towards the mare.

No time like the everlasting present.

On Board Entertainment

Flash dropped himself onto the cushion across from the mare in the lounge car. He cracked his neck left then right before leaning forward with his hooves on the table.

“So,” Flash started, “See anything interesting out the window?”

Without turning towards him, the mare replied in a raspy voice, “Not particularly, unless you count what I see that isn’t there.”

Flash scrunched up his muzzle. “And what’s that? Ghosts?”

The mare smirked. “Of a sort,” She sighed, “A concert. The Grand Canterlot Symphony Orchestra playing in the Eastern Public Gardens.”

“You see an entire orchestra out the window?”

“No, I remember seeing the orchestra,” The mare replied with a smirk, “I’m just visualizing it.”

“You saw the Grand Canterlot Symphony Orchestra? Live?” Flash said excitedly, “That’s amazing. They haven’t played a public showing in over a decade, which is a real shame since I never got to hear them.”

The mare finally turned her head to look at Flash with an unreadable expression on her face. “Yes, it is rather unfortunate that they stopped playing public venues for the general populace. If I recall it was due to a mixture of lessening popularity and monopolization from the nobles.” She seemed pensive as she looked at Flash before finally turning to face him full on. “I used to play actually. Even got an audition in the far long past.”

“Oh, wow, that’s incredible.” Flash’s ears perked up and he felt his tail wag behind him excitedly. “It is notoriously difficult to even get to that stage in the process. What instrument did you play?”

“Viola,” She replied, “Not a violin. It-”

“-Is the middle child to its siblings the Violin and Cello,” Flash finished as the mare gave him a perplexed expression, “I have a passing interest in music.”

“Passing?” the mare asked with some measure of disbelief, “Did you play anything?”

“Not really. I just have an interest in the theory.”

“Well, I suppose I haven’t had a chance to ‘talk shop’ with another pony for several years now. I could do with a familiar topic even if you only have a ‘passing’ interest as you say.” She held out her right hoof. “Vibrato.”

Flash returned the gesture. “Flash Sentry, but Flash is fine.”

She smiled. “A Pleasure, Flash.”

Vibrato grabbed her wine glass from the table and took a swig from the glass.

She grimaced. “Ugh, brandy. Why did I even pour this for myself?”

Flash tilted his head to the side in confusion. “You don’t like it?”

“No, I abhor it.” Vibrato frowned. “Along with most things of an alcoholic nature. If I was to have a choice I would destroy any trace of this monstrosity that ponykind has deemed a beverage.”

“Then why are you drinking it?”

Vibrato frowned and swirled the glass in her hoof. “Habit. My husband.” She snorted. “Sorry, ex husband was obsessed with the stuff. Favourite drink. He demanded it be served for every occasion regardless of my say in the matter.”

Flash gulped feeling discomfort at the topic. “So, you just drank it because your ex did?” Vibrato nodded. “Then why don't you drink what you like now since he’s your, well, ex?”

Vibrato seemed confused a moment before releasing a bark of laughter. It was a sharp sound and not at all joyful. Flash flattened his ears against his head.

“Well, you see, Flash.” Vibrato gave a strained smile. “I don't even know what I like anymore.”

“You don’t?” Flash felt his wings give a tentative flap.

“No, I don’t. It’s been.” Vibrato trailed off. “Enough. It’s been enough time that I genuinely can’t remember if I’ve even tried other types of drinks. I wonder now what I do like. Cider? Wine? Dare I say beer?” She gave another bark of laughter.

“I mean, it’s just drinks.” Flash chuckled nervously. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Vibrato was quiet as she stared into the middle distance. Flash couldn’t be sure what she was staring at, but he felt unnerved by it.

After another moment of silence, she gave her glass another idle swirl and focused back on Flash.

“Isn’t it though?” She said wistfully, “A big deal?”

Flash shuffled in place. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what drinks I like,” Vibrato started, “But that’s not even where it stops. I can’t remember my past hobbies, the kind of music I enjoy listening to, or even what foods that I prefer. I’m a slate that’s been wiped clean.”

She took a swig of her brandy, grimaced, then poured the rest onto the floor of the train car with a scowl on her face.

“Everytime I try to think of something I like, I just remember what he likes,” Vibrato stated bitterly, “I’ve gone so long doing whatever he wanted that I’ve forgotten what I wanted.”

“I mean.” Flash looked askance. “That’s what you’re supposed to do, right?”

Vibrato looked at him with wide eyed surprise. “Supposed to? Flash, I dedicated my entire life to a stallion that left me with nothing. I have clearly done something wrong.”

“Well, sometimes it doesn’t work out, but adapting to your special somepony is what you’re supposed to do,” Flash stated, “If the other pony was more important then it just makes sense that you, as the less important one, need to adapt more to them.”

Vibrato stared at Flash in what he thought was pity. “Flash, I don’t think-”

“It makes sense,” Flash interrupted, “That’s how it goes. In the end your interests are secondary to their’s. A relationship is about making sacrifices and sometimes you end up being the pony that makes more of them.”

Vibrato looked horrified. “Flash, take it from somepony who’s been there. That’s not a healthy-”

“It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t work out because if it didn’t work out then you just didn’t adapt enough,” Flash yelled.

“Flash, no.” Vibrato stood up and stretched out a hoof towards him. “That mentality is wrong. You were used-”

“It’s what you’re supposed to do!” Flash stood up abruptly and slammed his hooves on the table as he screamed out his response.

Vibrato flinched back.

Flash breathed raggedly as he felt the adrenaline surge fade. Vibrato looked ready to say something, but was interrupted by the screech of tires.

Flash closed his eyes as he waited to wake up once more in his room.

“Okay, let’s try this again,” Flash said as he dropped into the seat across from Vibrato.

Vibrato looked startled as she swung herself to face Flash and almost bumped her glass off the table. “Try what again? Actually, who even are you?”

“Hi.” Flash shoved one of his right hoof forward. “My name is Flash Sentry.”

Vibrato looked down at Flash’s extended hoof then back at his face with a wide eyed look of confusion. She eventually, with some measure of apprehension, extended her hoof to Flash and shook it.

“Vibrato,” She said.

Flash grinned. “Say, I’ve seen you looking out the window for a while now and you seem kind of lost. Why’s that?”

“Lost?” Vibrato asked in confusion before seeming thoughtful. “Well, I suppose that is the case, though I was unaware that I came across as that.”

“You do.” Flash readily agreed.

Vibrato scrunched up her face. “Rather forward aren’t you?”

“I’ve been told that,” Flash replied, “Anyways, I figured you might want somepony to talk to about it.”

Vibrato opened and closed her mouth soundlessly. She tilted her head to the side with her eyes closed, mulled over her thoughts, and finally sighed.

“I suppose, I do,” She said, “Do you think one can lose themselves?”

“Lose themselves?” Flash tilted his head to one side. “What do you mean?”

“Well.” Vibrato waved a hoof in the air as she searched for the right words. “Like forgetting who you are or how you used to be.”

She looked directly at Flash with a hopeful look. “Does that make any sense?”

Flash was quiet as he stared back at Vibrato and fought to keep his face in a neutral expression. Eventually, he turned away.

“So, you play Viola?” He said, “I noticed your mark.”

Vibrato was startled by the sudden change of topic. “Yes, or at least I did. I had played well enough to receive an audition with the Grand Canterlot Symphony Orchestra.”

“Wow, that’s impressive,” Flash said with genuine admiration despite hearing this information for the second time, “They are notoriously difficult to join.”

“Indeed they are, but due to circumstances I had to pass on the invitation.” Vibrato took a sip of brandy from her glass and grimaced. “Ugh, wretched.”

“Not a fan of brandy?” Flash asked despite knowing the answer.

“No, I’m not. The stuff is awful.” Vibrato gave a disgusted look. “Though, I am curious. Do you play an instrument?”

Another quiet moment passed before Flash replied, “Guitar. I played guitar.”

“Ah, a fellow comrade of the strings.” Vibrato grinned. “Always a delight to meet another player of the best instrumental group. Played anything recently?”

Flash started to reply then stopped to think about when he had last picked up his guitar. He recalled vaguely of a dust covered five string acoustic sitting in a corner of his room back in the Crystal Empire.

“No,” Flash replied with a hint of remorse, “I don’t remember when I had last played something.”

“Ah, then we can relate even more,” Vibrato said, “I can’t remember when I last played either.”

Vibrato sighed and went to take another sip of her drink before frowning and dumping the rest on the floor of the train car. She placed her empty glass back on the table.

“I used to love to play, still do.” Vibrato frowned. “At least, I think so.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, I haven’t played since.” Vibrato reached for a date. “before I was together with my ex husband.”

Flash felt that familiar uncomfortableness well up inside of him.

“Since that long ago, huh?”

Vibrato looked peeved as she replied, “Yes, that long ago or really anything now that I think about it. I haven’t spoken with my own friends or done anything I used to enjoy since I had been together with him.” Vibrato spit out the last word.

“I mean, he must have been important then.” Vibrato stared at Flash. “If you gave up so much it must have been because he needed your support.”

Vibrato laughed. “Support? Oh, Flash. He never needed that.” She gave an indignant snort. “All he had was money, and the money more than took care of itself. No, I was a prize. An exemplary musician that looked nice as arm candy for when he strutted around at his stupid parties.”

Flash felt his insides turn cold as Vibrato released another bark of laughter.

“I mean, I don’t even know why I agreed to marry him.” Vibrato threw her hooves in the air. “He was a complete bore. We had nothing in common and no interest in learning each other’s hobbies. Somewhere along the line I decided I needed to make things work between us and dropped everything that caused problems for our relationship.”

Flash could feel the urge to gallop away take over his thoughts. It was a constant background urgency that screamed at him that he needed to leave.

“I gave up playing Viola,” Vibrato continued, “I gave up my friends, I gave up what I enjoyed, I gave up myself.”

Flash felt his breath become ragged. He felt hot. Sweat was rolling down his face.

“I-” Flash started.

“And what am I left with?” Vibrato slammed her hooves on the table, her wine glass tipped and rolled onto the floor shattering on the ground. “Nothing! No partner! No joy! No prospects!”

The compartment felt smaller. Like it was closing in. Like he was trapped. He felt his wings begin to flap at his side with a need to be in the air.

“I, I need-”

“What was the point in giving up everything about myself, when all I’m left with-”

He couldn’t handle this. It was too much.

“Please,” Flash pleaded, “Stop.”

“-Is NOTHING!” Vibrato yelled.

Flash reared up onto his back legs as he planted his front hooves on the table in front of a startled Vibrato. He felt hot tears run down his face and his breathing came out closer to sobs.

Vibrato looked concerned as she reached a hoof towards him. “Flash, are you-”

“I can’t do this.” Flash ducked his head under and folded his wings over top to keep out the rest of the train. “It’s too much. I can’t. I’m not ready for this. I just-”

He stopped when the train crashed and threw him across the train car.

Flash sighed heavily as he took his seat across from Vibrato once again. He took a deep breath as he let his head hang over the table. It had taken several loops before he had been ready to come back to this conversation and they had been rough.

Rough being a massive understatement.

“Are you alright?”

Flash lifted his head to face the concerned expression of Vibrato.

“No,” Flash replied, “Just deciding on my approach this time around.”

“Approach to what?” Vibrato asked.

“Getting over my own baggage.” Flash snorted at his own personal joke. “You play music?”

“I- Yes, I do,” Vibrato stumbled over her words from the abrupt shift in conversation, “I’m sorry, but you’re not making a lot of sense to me.”

“That makes two of us.” Flash smiled.

He mulled over his thoughts on where to steer the conversation. He had tried to talk out Vibrato’s issues, but they were too close to his own. Far too close. He knew he couldn’t handle it, his previous meltdown attested to that, but he had to confront his issues eventually if he had any chance of escaping this loop.

Maybe this time he should start with something lighter before going straight to the heavy topics.

“What instrument do you play?” Flash asked.

“Viola,” Vibrato said, “Or at least I did.”

“Cool, I play guitar,” Flash said, “Or at least I did.”

Vibrato smiled. “Oh? Always wonderful to find a fellow string instrument lover. It’s unfortunate that we couldn’t be playing now.”

“It is, isn't it?” Flash grinned.

As she said that, a thought occurred to him or rather a question. It was meaningless, as to get any form of an answer would be pointless due to the loop, but, regardless of the result, he still wanted to ask.

“Do you live in the Empire?”

“Yes,” Vibrato replied, “Since two springs prior.”

Flash took a deep breath to brace himself. “Do you want to play together some time?”

Vibrato looked surprised. “That’s rather out of the blue.”

“It is, but I was just thinking about how I haven’t played in a long time and having somepony else to play with would be good motivation.”

“Somepony else for motivation, huh?” Vibrato mulled over her thoughts. “Sure. You know where the public concert hall is in Amethyst Park?”

“You want to do this?” Flash asked incredulously.

“Yes, I do.”

“Why? I know I asked the question, but I’m surprised you so willingly agreed to play with a complete stranger.”

Vibrato stirred her brandy filled glass with a hoof. “I guess I’m just done with being stuck in place.”

Flash was stunned silent. Vibrato went to take a sip from her glass, but Flash grabbed the glass from her hoof and tipped the contents on the floor.

“Well, that was rude.” Vibrato frowned.

“Brandy is garbage,” Flash stated, “How about cider? I saw a bottle behind the bar on my way in.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever had it.”

“Well, why not now?”

Vibrato was silent for a moment. “You know what? Cider sounds delightful, let’s try it.”

Flash trotted to the bar, grabbed two new glasses, a bottle of apple cider from the back shelf, and poured out enough for both him and Vibrato.

He brought both glasses back and then they talked.

They talked about music.

They made plans to meet and rediscover the joy of it together.

They started to move on.

As minutes turned into hours, Flash could feel himself smile naturally in what had felt like months, and could feel some weight he couldn’t place slide off of him.

He felt lighter.

He felt like he was moving forward.

He found that the chugging of the train didn’t bother him as much as it did.

As his conversation with Vibrato began to wind down, he heard the shrill cry of the train whistle.

He watched as the room began to glow brighter and brighter with white light. It felt warm. Comforting.

As first Vibrato then himself became engulfed in that light, Flash closed his eyes.

Unexpected Pit Stop

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Flash woke up on his back in bed. He let the alarm continue blaring for a moment before smashing it with a hoof.

Once the noise had been silenced, Flash took a deep breath and let himself relax. He dozed off into a half awake, half asleep state. All he could feel was the chugging of the train underneath him and the steady rise and fall of his chest.

He was content.

Flash couldn’t think of the last time he had felt like that.

After a few more moments of bliss, he flipped himself over with a grunt, stretched out the muscles of his back and neck then dropped to the floor of the train compartment.

He looked out the nearby window and saw crystalline tunnel walls.

Still in the time loop.

Flash released a weary sigh and began the trek back to the lounge car. He had thought with how the last loop had ended he had managed to finally escape, but clearly the train hadn’t felt he’d done enough.

Oh, well. For once, he wasn’t too worried about the loop. Even though he would need to retread the same initial conversation, at least he could speak with Vibrato some more.

Flash arrived at the door to the lounge car, slid it open and was greeted by the passenger car.

He closed the door.

He opened it again.

Still the passenger car.

After closing and opening the door several times to confirm that yes, the lounge car had disappeared, Flash threw the door open and left it as such.

The lounge car had completely disappeared.

Flash really hoped that was a good thing.

He also pointedly ignored any of the potential implications of its disappearance if that was a bad thing.

Deciding to take an optimistic outlook for once, he concluded that he must have cleared some form of goal post in his last loop. That meant he was now closer to reaching the goal line and finally escaping the train.

If one of the goals had been to speak with Vibrato that would mean that he needed to speak with the others still present.

That meant the stallion in the passenger car, Next Track, and-

Point Guard.

He mulled over his options and decided he would tackle the stallion in the passenger car first.

That option hadn’t irritated him previously with the shenaniganry in the engine compartment and he was in a good mood after speaking with Vibrato last loop.

He didn’t need to go out of his way to ruin it.

Flash trotted through the passenger car hallway and arrived shortly at the open compartment he knew the pink stallion had been staying in.

Just as he had prior, the stallion was going through various pink paged letters and giggling to himself.

Flash found him irritating.

He glanced askance at the luggage compartment door.

But he was at least a more manageable irritating.

“What are you doing?” Flash announced gruffly.

The stallion jumped with a yelp and looked up at Flash. His ears were perked up and his eyes were wide open. He had let go of the page in his hooves allowing the paper to fall to the wooden floors of the compartment.

“Oh, Mr. Guard, sir,” the Stallion stuttered, “Just reading over letters from my marefriend back in the Crystal Empire.” He snorted and giggled. “She’s quite the romantic.”

“Marefriend, huh?” Flash grumbled, “Those are a lot of love letters from one mare.”

The stallion’s ears flattened against his head and he turned away from Flash, “Oh, um, yes, they are.” He immediately perked up again. “But we’re absolutely crazy in love together. I send back just as many as she sends to me. Each just as heartfelt as the last.” He sighed wistfully.

“What’s she like?”

“Pardon?” The stallion tilted his head in confusion.

“Your marefriend,” Flash elaborated, “What’s she like?”

The stallion seemed to burst with happiness. His tail wagged behind him, he had a wide toothy grin on display, and Flash could have sworn his eyes were sparkling in excitement.

“Oh! I’ve never had anypony interested in hearing about her before.” The stallion gestured with his right hoof to an open spot on the floor. “Come on in, make yourself comfortable.”

Flash took the invitation and settled himself with his hooves underneath him and his wings resting at his sides. He was met by an outstretched hoof.

“My name is Love Letter,” The stallion said.

Flash shook the offered hoof. “Flash Sentry. I prefer just Flash though.”

“Well, great to meet you, Flash!” Love Letter grinned. “So, you want to hear about my amazing marefriend?”

Flash repressed an eye roll. “Yeah, I do.” He pondered for a moment. “What does she do for a living?”

“Bureaucrat,” Love answered, “Works in the crystal palace as a high ranking minister of finance.” Flash could see the sparkles in Love Letter’s eyes again. “She balances the budgets for various social organizations in Equestria and ensures that all of them get their fair share to continue functioning.”

“That does seem incredible,” Flash agreed.

“It is!” Love gushed, “I’ve actually been studying some texts from the public library so I can understand what she does.” Love cleared his throat. “Did you know that there are all sorts of algorithms to determine the median range of what an organization needs financially based on the number of employees and scope of the organization? I could actually go into-”

“No, please don’t.” Flash had heard enough of that kind of boring talk from his ex marefriend. “It’s great that you’re trying to learn what she does so you can better understand her, but I really could do without the nitty gritty.”

Love giggled. “Sorry, I get carried away sometimes. She does such an important job and it really is so important to me that I can keep up with her.” Flash tensed. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to embarrass her.”

“Embarrass her?” Flash stated dryly as he felt mounting dread build up inside himself.

“Yeah, I mean I’m just a common pony.” Love dug at the floorboards with his front hooves. “She’s part of the castle staff, a noble amongst the crystal ponies. I’m not used to that kind of life and, well, she’s more important than me.” Love grinned with a stability consistent with melting ice. “So, I have to put in the work, right?”

Flash stared at Love Letter. He felt a complex mixture of emotions rage inside of him and he wasn’t sure where he wanted to start unpacking them.

“Put in the work?” Flash said, “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, I don’t have the social nuance down or the knowledge to be able to present myself properly when my marefriend is out and about. I can’t just hope for the best, I have to be better,” Love said with shaky conviction, “I have to be better for her.”

Love Letter was startled as Flash stood up abruptly glaring down at him.

“No,” Flash growled, “You don’t.”

“But I have to!” Love exclaimed, “I don’t know what I’m doing when I’m around her.” Love’s ears flattened against his head. “I need to study up, so I can be beside her without making a fool out of myself.” Love frowned. “Out of her.”

“Need.”

“Pardon?”

“Need.” Flash could feel anger begin to take hold of him and, for once, it felt justified. “Not want. Need.” Flash spat the word. “You don’t want to be better for her, you just feel a need to be. The worst kind of need.”

“I,” Love flustered, “I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.”

“You feel obligated to be better for her,” Flash said gruffly, “That you have to be better for her.” He snorted. “Well, here’s a spoiler for how that goes: you’ll fail.”

Love shot to his hooves. “I won’t!”

“You will!” Flash roared in Love’s face, “You’re studying up on things you will never really understand. You’re trying to fit into a place you don’t belong. You will fail because you shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”

Tears rolled down Love’s face. “I-” Love took a ragged breath. “Look, I’m trying,okay? I know I probably can’t, but I love her. I-”

“Will fail,” Flash interrupted, “Love won’t get you through a fundamental difference that can’t be resolved by just talking through it over and over again.” Flash stomped his hoof. “All it does is keep you past the expiration date.”

“No, you’re wrong,” Love blubbered, “We love each other, and that’s all that matters.” He glared at Flash. “How would you know anyway? You barely know me. You haven’t met her. You-”

“Because I lived it!” Flash screamed.

Love dropped to his back legs and scrambled backwards into the wall.

“You will just keep screwing up, over and over and over.” Flash slammed his front hoof on the ground to punctuate each use of ‘over’. “Until eventually, she realizes that you weren’t good enough and she leaves you.”

Love tried to interject, but Flash cornered him against the wall. “You think you can just keep studying and trying and hoping that everything will just work itself out if you keep going, but it won’t.”

“Your efforts are pointless!” Flash yelled.

Love collapsed to the floor and covered his face with his front hooves. Flash stood over him breathing raggedly. As his mind caught up to what his anger had already said, he felt an overwhelming sense of shame overtake him.

He went too far.

Much too far.

“Love, I,” Flash fumbled for words that would make this situation okay, “I didn’t mean-”

His apology was interrupted by the telltale screech of the train wheels signifying an end to the loop.

The last thing he heard as the train once more derailed was Love crying out how much he hated how right he was as tears freely rolled down his face.

Flash stopped in the hallway just before the door to Love Letter’s train compartment. He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down from his emotional high.

He needed to keep a grip on himself.

He winced as he recalled what he had said in the last loop and knew that he had been out of line. He was really having no luck in keeping his emotions in check.

He had gotten angry and punched Point Guard.

He had a complete breakdown when he talked to Vibrato.

Now, he got to add ‘reduce a stallion to tears by implying their relationship was fake’.

He was certainly showing the world what a swell guy he was.

Flash dropped onto his backside, turned to face the wall, and slammed his head against it. Then he did it a second time. And a third. And a fourth.

Once he was sure his self hatred and anger were replaced with throbbing head pain, Flash trotted into Love Letter’s room.

“Hello,” Flash greeted, “How are you?”

Love Letter was startled as he looked up from the letter he was reading. He blinked and, after confirming who Flash was, grinned.

“Oh, hello. I’m doing wonderfully,” Love Letter said amicably, “How are you, Mr. Guard?”

“Fine,” Flash lied. A thought occurred to him. “How do you know I’m one of the train guards?”

Love Letter tilted his head to one side in confusion. “Well, I suppose I know because of how you carry yourself.”

Flash frowned. “Carry myself? What do you mean?”

“I don’t really know how to explain it exactly, but I guess it’s like-,” Love Letter waved his hooves as he searched for the right words. “You walk as if you always have a purpose and have this air of sternness about you?”

“Huh. Well, guess I’ll be self conscious about that later,” Flash said, “Anyways, my name is Flash Sentry, but I prefer just Flash.”

“Love Letter. Pleasure to meet you, Flash. How can I help you?”

“Well, I was on patrol and was curious about what you were doing with all of these letters.”

“They’re from my marefriend,” Love answered, “I was feeling lonely, so I pulled them out and started reading them.”

“Huh, I guess that’s one way to fill the gap.” Flash cursed internally at hitting a dead end in the conversation and decided to go in a different direction. “So, what do you do for fun?”

“Well, I write romance novels professionally and I do love to play buckball.” Love Letter chuckled. “Well, play may be a strong word for how well I play on the field.”

Flash laughed. “Can’t say I’m any better. I can keep up physically, but my coordination could definitely use some work.” Flash snorted. “Doesn’t help that a certain white unicorn stallion I can name cheats.”

Love Letter laughed. “Ah, yeah that would make it pretty hard to play.”

“Pretty much. Any time we try to get a goal, a shield just appears out of nowhere to stop the ball from going in the bucket.” They both shared a laugh. “So, you write professionally?” Love Letter nodded. “That’s pretty amazing, I heard making a living writing is really hard.”

“Yeah, breaking into the industry was difficult, but I managed to gain a close knit following of readers, which helped me get my hooves on the ground.” Love Letter smiled sadly. “Well, I guess that will be in the past soon enough. Glad I could at least manage that much.”

“Why would it be in the past?” Flash asked, “It’s your career isn’t it?”

“Well, it’s really just for fun at this point.” Love Letter’s ears pinned against his head. “My job only really earns enough to make a stable living and my marefriend makes significantly more money than me. Besides, my time could be better spent learning to be able to keep up with my marefriend and supporting her.” Flash felt his anger return in full force. “I mean, income isn’t really a problem anymore, so there isn’t much of a point in continuing.”

“No point-” Flash clamped down on his anger before he started another one-sided screaming match and changed his approach. “Do you enjoy writing romance stories?”

Love Letter looked at Flash quizzically. “I wrote stories for money.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Flash said, “I asked if you enjoy it?”

Love Letter started to retort, but instead bit his lip seemingly thinking over his response.

“Yes, I did,” Love Letter answered, “Do, but there’s no point if-”

“You enjoy it, Love.” Flash laid down on the floor. “It doesn’t matter that you don’t need the bits, you shouldn’t give up doing what you love.”

“But it gets in the way,” Love exclaimed, “It takes time away that I need to spend focused on caring for my marefriend. She needs support more than I need a hobby.”

“Did she tell you to stop writing?” Flash asked gently, already knowing the answer.

“Well, I mean,” Love Letter flustered, “She never directly said anything.”

Flash felt his anger once again rear its ugly head. Though more difficult than before, he fought it back again before responding.

“So, she pressured you into stopping?”

“No!” Love Letter waved his hooves. “She didn’t tell me to stop, she just said that there were better things I could be doing than just writing sappy tales. I mean she isn’t wrong.” Love fidgeted as his eyes darted about the room refusing to focus on Flash. “There really are better things to do than write dumb love stories.”

“They aren’t dumb,” Flash retorted, “If you were telling the truth when you said you enjoyed writing them, then it’s wrong for her to pressure you into stopping.”

“But if it interferes with my relationship, it’s not worth pursuing any further. I don’t want to lose my marefriend over a hobby.”

Flash felt his tail flick behind him in agitation. “Love, you can’t give up everything about yourself for one mare.”

“I have to!” Love exclaimed.

“Love, no. You’re not thinking about this clearly. You’re-”

“She’ll leave me,” Love Letter interrupted.

Flash was dumbfounded.

“If I don’t do everything I can, she’ll leave me and I’ll be alone.” Love Letter sniffled. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Flash felt the tidal wave of emotions he had been holding in finally break through. “Being alone is not worse than losing everything about yourself.”

Love Letter sniffled and held himself with both hooves crossed over the front of his body.

“I can’t,” Love choked out.

“I, this is, ugh!” Flash grabbed his head with both wings in frustration. “This is stupid! You’re being stupid!”

“I’m not stupid,” Love Letter blubbered as tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.

“You’re willing to give up everything about yourself for a mare who clearly cannot even be bothered to care about you. That is the definition of stupid,” Flash felt himself get worked back into a frothing rage. He didn’t care. “There is compromise and then there is one sided sacrifice. All you’re doing is caving into everything she wants and not even bothering to fight back. You’re being an idiot. A lovestruck stupid IDIOT.”

Love Letter was losing it. Flash was losing it. He had lost control. Again. He knew he needed to stop but he couldn’t. Love Letter was making so many mistakes, so many blunders, and he just. Didn’t. Get it.

Flash growled and slammed his hooves on the ground as he heard the screech of tires. He screamed out his frustrations as the train derailed once more.

Bang.

He was an idiot.

Bang.

A complete moron.

Bang.

He should be expelled from the guard for what an absolute complete idiotic moron he was.

Flash released a growl of frustration as he banged his head again on the train car walls just outside of Love Letter’s compartment.

He’d gone too far again.

He’d let his anger overcome him and then proceeded to rip into Love Letter and said such hurtful words that he had no right to say to him.

Flash didn’t even get it. Despite his track record aboard this Tarturus cursed train, he’s normally level headed. He had not been a guard for over a decade to completely lose it over talking to some colt about his stupid marefriend.

Flash punched the wall. Then a second time while punctuating the impact with another growl.

Why was he losing his composure? Why was he so Tartarus bent on ruining this stallion’s life? He didn’t lose his cool with Vibrato, not like this. He’d even argue this was worse than Point Guard. At least she could fight back.

Love Letter was just some dumb random stallion that was with a marefriend that was clearly using him, and all he was doing was making the exact same mistakes as-

Flash went rigid. He felt a prickling of tears in the corners of his eyes as finally, finally he understood why he couldn’t keep it together.

Love Letter was him.

He was mad because Love Letter was doing the same thing he did and now he was seeing what others saw of him. He was trying to get Love Letter to realize what all of his past friends had been trying to get Flash to realize.

How he threw everything away for a mare that didn’t care about him.

How he was completely blind to what he was doing to himself until it was far too late to change anything.

How he had allowed himself to be strung along and forced into a box he didn’t fit in because he couldn’t handle being alone.

He had put up with that toxic relationship for so long because he was scared about the possibility of never getting another chance at being together with somepony else.

Vibrato had opened him up to seeing how his mentality regarding his past relationship had been harmful.

Love Letter was ripping open the wound and showing him exactly who he had been.

Had. Past Tense.

He leaned away from the wall. He took a deep ragged breath. He knew what he needed to tell Love.

Because it would be what he needed to have been told himself.

“I really do love her a lot.” Love Letter smiled affectionately.

Flash and Love Letter were seated in Love Letter’s train compartment across from each other on the floor.

Flash had waited patiently listening to the same information as previous loops. Despite having been unable to control himself before, he found this time around he was able to reign in his temper and focus on hearing what Love was telling him.

It was time to make his move.

“Love, can I ask a personal question?” Flash asked.

Love Letter tilted his head to one side. “Sure, I suppose. You have put up with listening to me talk this entire time. What do you want to ask?”

“Are you in love with your marefriend, or the idea of your marefriend?”

Love Letter went rigid. “I don’t understand the question.”

“Are you in love with her as a pony?” Flash asked evenly, “Or are you in love with the idea of having a marefriend to be there for you so you’re not alone.”

Love Letter stared at Flash with wide eyes and a confused expression on his face. “Those,” He stuttered, “Those are the same thing.”

Flash shook his head. “They aren’t, Love.”

“Yes, they are,” Love exclaimed, “You can’t have one without the other.”

“You can, Love.” Flash stared at Love Letter with a stern expression on his face, “What you’re describing: the sacrifices, the never ending support, becoming her ideal match; It’s not a relationship. It’s a partnership of convenience.”

“No.” Tears formed in the corner of Love’s eyes. “I love her. I want to be there for her because I want to support her even though-” Love stopped.

“Even though she doesn’t care about your writing?” Flash said, “Even though you feel pressure to change everything about yourself to better suit her and only her?”

“Yes!” Love yelled, “No! I mean, ponies in a relationship together always have to make some compromises.” Love’s voice became softer. “Even if I’m the only one doing it.”

Silence filled the train compartment as Flash allowed Love to process the information Flash had given him. It was important to give him time. Flash could wait.

“What do I do if you’re right?” Love Letter whispered.

“Then you’re on your own again,” Flash replied morosely, “But at least you don’t have to give up everything about yourself to get there.”

“What if I’m always alone?” Tears were flowing freely down Love’s cheeks. “What if I never get another chance?”

Flash felt tears well up in the corners of his own eyes. “If you keep trying to connect with others, you will get a second chance. It’s going to suck in the short term, but the other option is far worse.” Flash smiled. “Trust me. I know what I’m talking about when it comes to this.”

Love Letter sniffled. He turned to look at the pile of letters stacked next to him and grinned through the messy tears.

“Do you wanna know why I believe you?” Love Letter said.

“Yeah, I do actually,” Flash replied with his own grin, “I’m actually surprised you’re just taking the words of a stranger at face value.”

Love Letter giggled. “Well, it’s difficult to deny somepony when they tell you nothing but information you already knew.”

Love Letter glanced over the letters once more then back to Flash.

“They’re all addressed to me.”

“I know,” Flash replied, “From your marefriend, right?”

Love Letter shook his head.

“No, they’re from me.”

Flash scooted forward and enveloped Love Letter in a tight hug with his wings. Love Letter hugged him back.

The train whistle rang out its shrill cry.

As the room was consumed by enveloping white light, they held onto each other as tight as they could.

They hoped maybe it would stave off the loneliness even if only temporarily.

Emergency Brakes

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Flash woke up to the sound of his alarm and, gently with his left hoof, turned it off. He sniffled then wiped away a sudden onset of tears from his eyes with his hooves. Once he felt calm again, he got out of bed.

He ignored the window as he already knew he was still in the loop. After all there was at least one other pony he needed to talk to before he could finally escape.

For once, he wouldn’t even need multiple loops to talk to the next pony on his list. He would only need one as he already knew exactly what he was going to say.

Flash exited the train car, made a hard left, trotted towards the door and swung it open hard enough to cause a clang as it impacted with the doorframe.

Point Guard, standing in the center of the luggage compartment, turned towards him, startled by the loud noise. When she saw it was him, she smirked.

“Hey, Big Wig. Here for round two?”

“We need to talk,” Flash announced.

“Oh, what about? How much of a stick in the mud you are?” Point trotted towards Flash and leaned in close with a malicious grin on her face. “Or shall we revisit when you slugged me in the jaw?”

“No, well, sort of. Those two things are related in a way, and I would like to take another moment to apologize for punching you. That was still horrible of me to do.” Flash raised a hoof to stop Point Guard from interrupting. “Let me talk, Point.”

Point scowled, but she did back away and sit down to listen to him.

Flash took a deep breath. “My relationship with Twilight was bad. Really bad.” Point rolled her eyes. “I realize now that Twilight was not a great marefriend. A relationship is supposed to have two sides mutually holding each other up. Ours was one side laying horizontal while the other turned itself into a support beam and did nothing else.” Flash felt his entire body droop. “I found out rather recently that I was the support beam in that metaphor.”

“So, what?” Point said, “You discovered that she used you and now you’re whining about it to me? Newsflash: everypony already knew that.”

Flash sighed. “It's new to me, Point. I’m still coming to terms with how my ‘compromises’ were really just me sacrificing everything about myself to become her majesty’s perfect saddlebag accessory.” Flash rubbed one of his legs with his opposite hoof. “Twilight dumping me was the healthiest thing for me. You were right. I kept hoping that if I waited long enough, Twilight would take me back. At this point, now having had my own problems shoved into my face, if she asked me now, I would say no.”

“Oh?” Point grinned. “That’s great! Means we can finally get back to our thing now that you’ve moved on from that prissy princess. Hey, when we get to the Crystal Empire we could even swing by a bar and start our patented-”

“That brings me to the second thing,” Flash interrupted.

Point paused. “What second thing?”

“Us.” Flash pointed his hoof at Point then himself. “Point Guard, I don’t think we should be around each other anymore unless we have to.”

“What?” Point yelled, “Why? What in Tartarus is wrong with us hanging out? Where is this even coming from?”

“It's overdue, Point. We’ve become very different ponies since we started in the guard and I don’t think that’s been for the better. For either of us.” Flash lifted his head and stared back at Point who looked confused. “We’re not good influences on each other and besides that I don’t like how you pressure me into doing things I don’t want to do. I also don’t appreciate the constant barrage of insults. Especially that nickname you-”

“Seriously?” Point stood up abruptly. “You’re getting upset because I call you Big Wig?”

“I’m upset because you call me that even after I tell you not to,” Flash replied, “For whatever reason, you seem to have this image in your head of who I am. Well, I’m sorry Point, but the kind of pony I want to be isn’t who you want me to be.”

“Oh, that’s a bunch of lies, Flash. You’re exactly the same as you’ve always been.” Point Guard pointed to her bruised lower jaw with a hoof. “Remember this? That just proves you haven’t changed since we first met.”

“No, Point. It proves that we’re not good for each other and we need to stop.” Flash paused to brace himself for what he had to say next. “This actually brings me to my most important point and this is something I need you to listen to.”

“Oh and what’s that? Can’t be any worse than what you’ve already said.”

Flash took a deep breath.

“I am never going to date you, Point. You need to move on.”

Point Guard froze with a stricken expression on her face. “I-What? I don’t-”

“Point,” Flash interjected, “I admit that I’m not the most observant pony at times, but I could see you’ve had a crush on me for years.” Flash shook his head. “Look, Point-”

“No, you look!” Point shouted, “You go and date some stupid Princess then break up with her. I comfort you when you act like a sad loser and now you’re trying to break up with me?” Point Guard snorted angrily and slammed her right hoof on the floor. “I’ve been there for you since day one! When’s my chance? When do I finally get to be with you?”

“I don’t owe you anything, Point. I won’t be with you just because you have a sense of entitlement over me.”

“Are you kidding me?” Point took a shaky breath and forced herself to calm down. “Look, you had a bad break up and I haven’t been as supportive as I should have been.” She gave a shaky smile. “You keep saying you ‘lost yourself’, so we can just find ‘you’ together.”

“No, Point. I need to find myself by myself,” Flash said, “I spent a lot of time letting somepony else dictate who I should be and I’m not going through that again. I don’t want a relationship right now, and even if I did, I wouldn’t want one with you.”

“You’re just going to throw away years of friendship for nothing?” Point threw her hoof back. “You’ll be all alone, Flash. I’m the only one who stuck by you through your ‘Twilight’ years. If you drop me by the wayside, you’ll have no one.” She pointed an accusatory hoove at Flash. “I know you. You can’t be happy without being in a relationship. You were miserable before Twilight and that doesn’t include all of the other mares you tried to get together with before her.”

“I shouldn’t have done that. Those were huge mistakes on part.” He felt tears form in the corners of his eyes. “I’m not ready to be in a relationship. Not then, not now. Maybe I can’t be happy without being with somepony, but I need to find that out on my own. Forcing myself onto somepony else while I’m like this is just self inflicted pain.”

Flash took a shaky breath. Tears flowed down his face in a steady trickle. He stared directly into Point Guard’s face. Her teeth were clenched. She was snorting angrily every few seconds.

He needed to end this.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be who you needed, Point, but it would be best for the both of us if we cut our losses and moved on. We’re not meant to be.”

It was the final straw for Point. She looked incredulous then furious as she began a tirade of insult after insult. Each curse was screamed at Flash as tears began to flow down Point’s face.

Flash ignored her. There wasn’t anything left to be said. He was officially all alone.

There was something bittersweet in that revelation.

His ears flicked as he heard the shrill call of the train whistle and saw the train compartment start to become enveloped in white light.

Just before it fully engulfed him, Flash smiled.

Destination

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Flash woke up and turned off his alarm for what might have been anywhere from the twentieth to hundredth time. He got out of bed, stretched out the kinks in his neck, and looked out the compartment window.

The train was still in the crystal tunnel.

He trotted to the compartment door, slid it open, and poked his head out into the hallway. He looked left and was greeted by a blank wooden wall. He looked right and found the metal door leading to the engine room.

He closed the door.

Flash trotted over to the en suite bathroom and looked into the mirror. The stallion that stared back was still the same as when he had started this whole business.

He could fix that.

He grabbed a brush, a razor, and his stash of mane gel from under the sink. In short order, he was clean-shaven, his fur rested in the right direction, and his mane was slicked back to its usual wavy form. He’d even taken time to preen his wings and admired how good they looked.

He hadn’t properly done any personal grooming like that in weeks.

Flash left the bathroom, went to the wardrobe, and grabbed his armour from the bottom shelf. He donned it, ensuring the straps fit comfortably, and returned to the bathroom to inspect his hoofwork once more in the mirror.

He took a moment to inspect the stallion that stared back at him. He was different. For the first time in what could have been months, Flash felt like he recognized himself.

He grinned.

He then left the train compartment for what would be the second last time.

Flash entered the cramped engine room. He still hated being there because of how cramped it was, but he found comfort in hearing the steady roaring of the furnace.

It meant the train was still moving.

He saw Next Track by the train controls. He was fiddling with the various levers and pulleys that Flash still couldn’t understand the purpose of despite the many loops he had spent trying to get them to work.

Flash trotted to the center of the room and sat down. He enjoyed a companionable silence as the conductor performed his duties.

“Are you ready to disembark?” Next Track announced.

“Are you the cause of the loop?” Flash asked.

“Does it matter if I was?”

“No, it doesn’t,” Flash replied, “But I am admittedly curious, nonetheless.”

Next Track stopped working with the controls and turned to face Flash. “Occasionally, somepony comes along carrying a lot of baggage with them.” Next Track closed his eyes and sighed. “It weighs them down because they think they need to bring everything with them when they only need the essentials. Admittedly, it is difficult to sort through luggage when you’re focused on simply reaching the next destination.” He opened his eyes and gave Flash a warm smile. “You may consider this place as a rest stop to unload unnecessary things.”

Flash nodded, content with the answer he was given. “I’m scared.” He felt himself shake. “Of what’s next. What if Point Guard is right and I can’t be happy without being in a relationship? What if I just end up alone?”

“I’m not going to waste my time telling you that everything will be okay. You’ll have low points like this in the future and it’s going to be just as terrible.” Flash felt tears form on his face. “But do you want to know a secret?”

Flash sniffled and nodded.

“Everypony is scared, Flash,” Next Track said, “But what’s important, what’s most important, is that you have to keep moving forward despite it because it’s the only way you’ll have the chance of finding happiness.”

Flash hung his head and covered himself with his wings as he fought back the sobs that threatened to break through. “It’s so hard, Next. I’m just me and I’ve already done everything wrong. I don’t think I can do it.”

“You got hurt, Flash. Badly.” Next Track placed a gentle hoof on Flash’s shoulder. “But you’ve learned. You found what you needed here. You might not think you can now, but trust me. You can.”

Flash lifted his head and stared back at Next Track. “How do you know?”

Next Track smiled. “Because you’re already moving forward, Flash. It might not feel like it yet, but you’re already moving toward your chance at happiness. You just need to embrace it.”

Flash took several ragged breaths and, when he felt ready, he stood up from the ground planting all four hooves firmly on the floor with his head held high.

He took a deep breath and with as much confidence as he could muster said, “I’m ready to disembark.”

Next Track gave a warm smile as the engine room became engulfed with white light. The sound of a shrill train whistle filled the air.

“Good,” Next Track said, “Find your happiness, Flash. Always keep moving forward.”

Flash woke up. He heard the shrill cry of the train whistle reverberate through the room.

A speaker crackled to life. “Ladies and Gentlecolts, we will be arriving shortly at the Crystal Empire. Please, remember to grab all personal belongings before disembarking.”

Flash rolled out of bed, stretched, and turned to look out the window.

Outside, sparkling in the morning sun, was the Crystal Empire and, at least to him, an endless expanse of possibilities.

Flash smiled.

He was ready.

Author's Note

There will be an accompanying post mortem later today if anyone is interested in my thought process for this story.

Thank you all so much for reading.

Remember to keep moving forward.