Medicinal Mandate

by Dragonman461

Rating: everyone
Tags: Science Fiction, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2723

A hard working man is forced to confront his medical needs.

Months have passed since the Aliana's Pride, a human starship, landed in Equestria. Now properly integrated in the society of small ponies, the hundred and twenty crewmen have adjusted well enough in the unfamiliar land. All except one, that is. A man who's more concerned with his work than anything else is summoned before Princess Twilight Sparkle, and faces punishment for a severe crime.

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Written for CategoricalGrant's 2021 Cuddlefic Contest

Published 2021-06-29 15:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-29 15:40:01 UTC

Doctor recommended and lawfully enforced

High above the rolling green hills in the middle of Equestria, beyond even the mountainous city of Canterlot, hung a massive metal ship, hanging freely above the clouds. For months, this ship sat above the city, dozens of smaller aircraft carrying the aliens down to the center of civilization, trading a multitude of goods and services between the different species. In the ventures to understand this strange new land, humanity offered several employees to work under the ponies' leader, Princess Twilight. One such man, however, wasn't made entirely aware of what his duties entailed.

\\\//////

"Excuse me?"

The man sitting on an examination table pulled his blank white shirt back on, shaking his head.

"You heard me, David," the unicorn doctor said.

Standing before the seven foot tall human was a two and a half foot tall unicorn stallion. With a purple coat and a two-toned orange and black mane, the doctor fixed a sad glare at the man, levitating a folder filled with charts. Taking a few papers out, he set them up on a whiteboard and pointed at the furthest one to the left.

"Do you see this exam note?" Doctor Function said. "This is your heartrate and blood pressure from nearly a year ago, courtesy of the medical staff aboard your ship."

"I thought Doctor Chavaski would have kept a tighter lock on those," David muttered.

"She's concerned about all of her crewmates' health. I put forward a requisition for your medical records since I wanted a better assessment of your health since arriving in Equestria. Lo and behold, your records show that your blood pressure, at rest, is 125/83."

"Those numbers mean almost nothing to me, Doctor. I'm a software engineer, not a medical nerd."

"By Equestrian standards, it's not good, and judging by how Doctor Chavaski reacted, it's also not good for somepony like you."

David simply ran his hands through his crow's nest of a hairdo.

"Now, compare that, with this," Doctor Function said, pointing to the chart in the middle. "Here, during a checkup during First Contact as you humans call it, you were examined for any possible diseases that could have threatened life on our planet. Back then, your pressure was 151/86."

"And I'm guessing we wouldn't be having this meeting if that was a good number," David said.

"Yes, as it turns out, you're in a state of hypertension, which puts you at significant risk of heart failure."

"Well I'll try eating less salt and try to get out more, great talk doc-"

The unicorn's magic held the human in his seat as he pointed to the final paper.

"And this was taken last week. 168/89. You are dangling on the cusp of severe hypertension at 29 years old."

David sighed.

"Look, do you have any idea how stressful it is to try and work on projects that are supposed to bridge alien species who are technologically hundreds of years apart? I've spent the last two months trying to explain how to use a keyboard to a room full of literal, actual dragons. One of them tried eating an RGB board someone left after the Game Night."

"Stress is an inevitable part of any profession, but that doesn't excuse your lack of due diligence for your own wellbeing. I mean, honestly, the constant neglect of your treatments has your own Guards up the wall! Do you have any idea how many times they've come to me about your infractions?"

"What infractions?" David said, clenching his fists. "I've done nothing wrong here yet! I've kept my anger in check, haven't cursed at anyone once, and I've shown up on time to every single meeting, turned in all of my work-"

"I'm talking about your mandatory cuddling sessions!" the doctor said, stomping his front legs.

Silence hung in the air, dangling a little question mark over the man's head as the lights flickered.

"What?"

"Those fine mares put themselves through the ringer to be able to get assigned to an actual human for security detail, and you've neglected to attend to not only their medical needs, but your own as well. No pettings, no scratches, and most dishearteningly from what I've heard, have outright refused to engage in cuddling and snuggling of any kind!"

"Doctor, I'm not big into medicine or health, but I'm pretty sure cuddling and physical health have nothing to do with each other."

Wave Function's horn glowed before a book slammed into David's lap. Turning over the worn down book, he read the title.

"'The study of Cuddles and Snuggles: Canterlot University's official study into the positive effects of intimacy and impacts on cardiovascular health'."

"I triple checked every study and record in that book and ran several experiments alongside Doctor Chavaski. Your species' cardiovascular structure isn't too different from ponies and dragons, and Chavaski came to the same conclusion I did. You need to cuddle."

David sighed as he planted his face in his hands.

"And don't get me started on your sleeping habits!" the unicorn said, showing a pie chart that was 23 parts red and one part green.

"Alright, I'll meet you halfway on that one," David said. "So, what do you say that I agree to get another pillow to hold when I sleep and start-"

"Absolutely not, no," Doctor function said. "I've passed my reports on to Princess Twilight and she's already taken the your situation close to heart."

"Wait, you shared this with her? Why?"

"Because we're all scared, David. Your health is in rapid decline and you don't seem to care. She won't just sit by and watch, and told me to let you know that she's going to be taking drastic measures herself to help you."

"Can you at least tell me when she's-"

POOF

David disappeared in a flash of lavender light as Doctor Wave Function closed his folder.

"About nowish."

\\\//////

David fell through the void of unreal space for what felt like all of time in the span of half a second before he could breathe again. Landing on a bed of white sheets and dozens of pillows, he quickly sat up and tried to analyze his situation. He was in a large bedroom with purple banners hanging over the windows, his shirt was missing, and he now faced two gyardsmares, their captain and one grumpy Princess.

"Can you warn someone before you decide to teleport them halfway across a city?" David said.

"I apologize for the interruption, but I figured that if I talked face-to-face, it'd be much easier for everypony involved," Princess Twilight said.

"So, I assume Dr. Wave told you everything, then?"

"Yes. And, not to mention your personal guards are also a good source of information regarding your less than ideal living habits. Captain Tempest has been especially worried with your lack of openness, with your schedule leaving you with little to no sleep, even on weekends."

David sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Princess Twilight, I'm the only software expert on the planet with the capability to establish and monitor a network across the world. Not to mention that I'm trying to each IT security to a species that has no concept of what the internet is while our Captain is riding me over trying to work with the rest of the communications specialists to establish a secure line back to Earth or any other colony nearby, yes, it's stressful. Yes, there's a lot riding on me, and no, I don't have the time or patience to deal with a bunch of furry little ponies that want to drag me aside from my job and force me to do nothing while I could be productive."

Captain Tempest stepped forward, shaking her head.

"And you don't seem to understand that you're far more likely to fail your mission and let down the rest of your kind if you overwork yourself to an early grave. How well would that fare for the rest of Equestria, or your friends here?"

"Come on, you'd really call me-"

"Yes," Tempest said with no hesitation. "Absolutely. You're dedicated to your work and it clearly shows that you want this cause to succeed. You believe in our species' cooperation, and I'd not be here if I didn't think it wasn't necessary."

David looked over the dark maroon mare, and the weary smile she gave him. She'd been there for him for several dozen nights where he'd passed out from exhaustion and carried him to bed, even bringing meals into his workshop or during classes with his and Twilight's students.

"Sir, please just relax for once," another Guardsmare said.

"Yeah, we just wanna help you, sir," the second one said.

Each of them bore white coats and blue manes, twins if David remembered properly. They were assigned to him since he and the rest of the human crew landed in Canterlot, but they'd been quite patient with him. Caring Hooves and Sharing Hooves, or Carie and Sharie as he'd called them. Looking over the assembled ponies, he relented and fell back on the bed.

"Alright, fine. Let's just do this already," he said.

Twilight nodded to the guards and at once, they pounced on the bed, Carie and Sharie dragging him upwards as Tempest pulled the blanket over them all. Carie snuggled beneath David's right arm while Sharie burrowed beneath his left, both of them nudging their horns aside so they could rest on his biceps. Tempest, now adjusting the comforter to rest over them all, wrapped all four legs around his chest and laid on his bare skin. When the sheet was adjusted to her liking, she lowered her head to nuzzle into his neck before giving him a tight squeeze.

David felt the pillow behind him shift slightly as Twilight climbed on as well, curling around his head similar to how a cat would, her chin landing on his forehead.

"Princess, you're staying?"

"Of course, my subject's health is an important part of my duty, you know," she said. "Besides, I wanted to lecture you about the scientific and thaumatic benefits of cuddling and snuggling."

"Wait, there's magical elements of cuddling?"

"Of course! There's a reason why it's considered a necessity."

David's thoughts switched to the feeling of the mares rubbing against him, the soft, velvety fur of his guards rubbing against him making him blush a bit. His hands crept up their backs and started petting their chests. The soft tufts of fur and pleasant warmth they radiated bled through his skin on contact, and soon, he could feel it spread throughout his body. Tempest's soft breathing left her sifting over his chest, and the feeling of her weight and softness was an embrace that David couldn't equate to anything else in his life. Carie and Sharie started hugging his arms at this point, and their nuzzles crept up his arms to his shoulders. Soon, he felt as if he was melting into the mare's coats and couldn't keep his eyes open.

"Ahhhh~," he moaned, the tension fleeting from his body. "Oh my God, I can't believe I was putting this off for so long."

"And I'm glad you're already feeling the medicinal effects of it," Twilight said. "So, to make a long explanation slightly less long, like any other intelligent beings born with magic, ponies' magic and aura are effected by emotions and how we interact with one another," she lectured, rubbing cheeks with David. "You see, by cuddling, we share positive emotions and support a healthy relationship with those we spend time with. As such, the magical aura we emanate releases a soothing sensation that interacts with those that we snuggle."

David's hands kept moving on their own, now flopping and fondling the ears of the guards in his arms. Playing with the fluff in their ears made them giggle, and the rumbling sensations of their laughter echoed in his chest. His heart felt much lighter, and the pressure he'd felt building since he and his crew landed finally began to subside.

"When we share our emotions and magic through cuddling, it ends up combing through our partners and having whatever impact we desire to have on them. Whether it be cheering them up, soothing their fears, or even healing certain wounds and conditions. In this instance, since every one of us is worried about your blood pressure and your heart, I'm sure that by now you can feel it changing your body already."

"It's so... good," he said, leaning into Twilight's stomach.

"Isn't it? I'm sure now you can see why it's a necessary break time for everypony- I mean everyone, in any workplace. Even your ship's doctors and Captain have proven its effectiveness, and this session should hopefully yield even better results. After all, the more powerful the pony you cuddle with, the stronger the effects. It's why Princess Celestia and Princess Luna would often sleep alongside many Guards who ended up grievously injured in older times."

"Mmmhmm," David moaned, unable to form words.

"You know what another part of cuddling can entail?" Twilight asked, planting a hoof on his chest. "Kissing the hoof of the pony you're cuddling with."

"Excuse me?" David said, his head shooting up.

"Kissing the hooves of those you're cuddling can result in the pony's affection and positivity skyrocketing, nearly quintupling the effects of cuddling. It shows your appreciation for those you're with, and makes it feel all the more intimate."

"I'm not kissing the frogs of your dirty little cloppers," David said.

Twilight pouted and booped him.

"By order of the great Princess Twilight Sparkle, she who raises the Sun and Moon, who corals the stars, and the banisher of all things evil, I hereby decree that your royal directive is to kiss my widdle hoofsies."

David groaned and planted a small kiss on the heart-shaped frog of her hoof.

"There, happy?"

"Very!" Twilight said, beaming a smile and snuggling around his head again.

The other three mares immediately raised their hooves to his face and he made quick work, each one squeaking as he kissed their hooves as well. After kissing them, David let his eyes close once more and, in nearly seconds, fell into a pleasant sleep.

\\\//////

Groaning under the strain of having to wake once more, David pushed himself upright, the weight of a Tempest on his chest keeping him pinned. A glare of sunlight struck him in the eye and he relented, falling back down as he licked his lips. Dry as dust, he looked up to see Twilight propping his head up with a glass of water ready.

"Good morning, sleepy sheepy," she said.

"Ugh, I feel like a rock that got thrown to the bottom of the Mariana Trench," he said. "How long was I out for?"

"Well, it was about four in the afternoon when you came here, so..." Twilight made a motion with her hoof, counting. "Hmm, about... three days."

"Holy-"

"And eight minutes," she finished. "Honestly, I'm glad. You're already showing signs of massive improvement."

"Did you do a checkup on me while I slept?"

"Just a few times, yes," she said. "I am officially licensed, you know."

"... is it-"

"No, I didn't give myself one because I'm a Princess, I studied for it like everypony else."

"I was gonna ask if you learned from Wave Function since he's been trained by our doctors to understand human physiology."

"Yes to that, but I find it interesting how similar our internals function, aside from a lack of magic however."

"So, am I good to go now, Doctor Princess?"

"Oh, absolutely not! A single session, even if it lasts days, can only be so effective. Think of it as exposure treatment, you need constant repeated treatments before the results stick around. So I expect you to be here for every weekend."

"Until when?"

Twilight just smiled and offered him the glass of water. David drank it down and rest back against the Princess, content with following through his new prescription.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this, then I'm glad to let you know I take commissions at all times! Just PM me on fimfic or on Discord (check my author page) and we can talk about whatever you'd like!