Kiss Me Slowly

Applejack leaned against the passenger door of the old pickup truck, getting jostled about as the vehicle hit various bumps and dips in the road. Silence hung heavy and almost deafening in the air as she gazed out at the passing scenery she had been familiar with since she was a small child. Rides to and from town were not normally so deathly still, even when it was like today and it was just herself and her brother. The truck was usually filled with conversation...a bit one sided on Applejack's part since Big Mac was not a big talker.

But today there was no conversation. No playful, mostly one sided banter. No affectionately irritated glares from the young man behind the wheel. His eyes were locked on the road ahead, and if one looked closely enough there was a shimmer of unshed tears. He was chewing on a toothpick in place of his customary blade of straw, his jaw clenching tighter than it normally would. His large hands gripped the wheel with enough force that it was astonishing it didn't break off in his grasp.

Applejack tore her gaze from the surrounding countryside and forced herself to look at her brother.

"Big Mac? You gonna be ok?"

"Nope."

"Sorry..."

"Ain't your fault."

"But if I weren't sick-"

"Ain't. Your. Fault." He threw a look over at her, one if mixed pain and determination.

Applejack slumped in her seat. "Gonna have to tell Granny an' AB."

"Eeyup."

"Big Mac?"

"Eeyup?"

"I know you ain't much of a talker, but just this once, could ya help me?"

He locked his eyes briefly into hers before he refocused on the road.

"Eeyup."

Applejack gazed out her window, feeling her chest tighten at the thought of the conversations to come, not just with her family but with her friends. How did you tell the people you cared about that they were going to lose you? Her mind revisited the events of the last couple months and especially the past two days.

She didn't pay much attention to the onset of pain in her muscles and joints, chalking it up to being sore from a lot of extra farm work that had to be done. She also didn't think much of the tiredness or the frequent feelings of weakness. She assumed she was working too hard and slowed her farm chores a bit to help combat the problem.

Increasing fatigue and weakness had driven Applejack to finally tell her family she felt off. She tried resting a few days, which only seemed to help a small bit, her symptoms gradually just getting worse until it took nearly as much effort to get dressed in the mornings as it did to run around the farm chasing an escaped animal.

Then frequent and vicious nosebleeds started. She began showing signs of easy bruising, noticed by Big Mac when he playfully punched her in the shoulder and his large fist left a rapidly darkening mark when it shouldn't have. Granny chalked this up to not enough vitamins, and increased her granddaughter's vegetable intake. Or tried to. Applejack was also suffering from loss of appetite, which was leading to her losing weight, and rather quickly.

The final straw was when she suffered a massive nosebleed at school combined with excessive dizziness that led to her actually passing out in the cafeteria. It was then that Granny, finally realizing that this was something far worse than low vitamin intake, made an appointment with the doctor. Having suffered a tumble down the front porch steps that had pulled several muscles in her back, Granny could not go along with Applejack to the hospital, and Apple Bloom chose to stay home to help her grandmother. Applejack had told none of her friends about the appointment yet, wanting to wait til afterwards.

Big Mac drove his sister to the hospital and stayed with her while the doctors did blood work and took various scans. It took literally hours, and she ended up staying overnight. The following day, late in the morning, one of the doctors strode into the room looking grimmer than she had ever seen a doctor look.

"Miss Applejack." He said regretfully. "We have finally gotten the test results and blood work results back."

"And?" Applejack said worriedly. "What is it? Did ya find what's wrong?"

"Yes. We did." He inhaled deeply. "Do you want the bad news first or the partially good news?"

Big Mac stepped up to his sister's side, clamping his hand on her shoulder for support as the emerald eyes that matched his sibling's stared the doctor down. Applejack swallowed hard.

"What's the bad news?"

"Bad news is you have acute lukemia, and from the looks of it, a highly advanced case."

Applejack blinked. "What...what's that?"

"To put it simply, it's a cancer of the blood or lymphatic system. Yours is acute and advanced, which means you're really sick and probably going to die."

His bedside manner left alot to be desired, but he believed in being brutally honest. He wasn't entirely without feelings, but patients deserved to know EXACTLY what was wrong with them.

Big Mac's hand tightened on her shoulder as Applejack inhaled sharply.

"A-and the good news?"

"We need to run a few more tests just be sure how advanced this is, but we can start you on treatment. However..." He leaned towards her, his grey eyes boring into her green ones, "...I can't garuntee you that you are going to survive this illness. Like I said, its very advanced, we can tell that even without the tests but we'll know how much later. And your chances of surviving it at this stage are, well, truthfully very low."

"So you can treat it but...it might not work?"

"Pretty much. At the very least its probably only going to extend your life by a few extra months, but beyond that I just don't know."

"If it doesn't work, h-how long?"

The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose and inhaled, releasing it with a low sigh.

"My best guess? If the treatment doesn't work, then roughly six months to a year...depending on if you take it easy. If you don't slow down and you keep trying to work and do all the things you're used to, then I can't really say."

Applejack heaved a shuddering breath, attempting to not fall apart.

"Thanks, Doc. Um...can...can I just go home? I ain't fond of hospitals."

"Sure. I'll schedule you for the follow-up tests for next week. Go home, Applejack. Be with your family."

The doctor left the room, and Applejack slowly stood up. She turned to her brother, who looked as stricken by the news as she felt. Reaching out, she tucked her arm through his, releasing a tired sigh.

"Let's go home, big brother. Ain't gonna spend another second here."

He wordlessly escorted her from the room and out of the building, both of them struggling to process what they had just heard.

The truck rolled to a complete stop in front of the farmhouse, jerking Applejack back to reality with a start. She stared at the house for the longest time, the faint sound of happy laughter drifting out through the open front windows and in to the open truck window, making her smile sadly. In a few seconds she was going to have to leave the comfort of the truck and go break the news she would rather never speak of.

Big Mac exited the truck and came around to the passenger side, tugging her door open and holding it for her. She took a deep breath and slowly slid from her seat, legs nearly buckling as she touched ground. Big Mac's strong arms caught her, holding her steady until she got her balance. He shut the door and kept his arm around her waist to support her as they walked up to the farmhouse door and went inside.