The Trouble With Truffles
Applejack awoke to the sound of the rooster crowing as she did every day of the year, but today was a special day. She could already feel it in her hooves, a light-weightedness combined with a tingling feeling that left her heart fluttering. Leaving her bed with a small skip, she swept her hat onto her head with a well-practiced motion.
Humming an upbeat tune, she made her way down the well-worn steps of the home towards the waiting smell of cooking haycakes. Today was one of two days of the month where Applejack set aside personal time for herself. More specifically, this was the one day of the month in the season of summer when she could truly indulge herself in her guilty passion.
She felt the flutter in her heart return at the very thought of it as she ate a smaller helping of her granny’s haycakes than she normally would; leaving more room for her special treat today. She had to suppress a small giggle of glee that would have better fit her pink-maned friend at the thought of her secret that awaited her as she issued a swift goodbye to her family and made her way out of the home. She walked with a lightness in her step as she made her way to the hog pen near the front of the gated section of their property.
She used to spend the entire day helping out around the farm with the numerous chores and jobs required for its successful operation. That was, of course, until Twilight had come to Ponyville and began enlisting her and her friend’s help in all manner of strange adventures from defeating the personification of chaos, to defeating the leader of a crazed equality cult, to defeating the long dead ghost or something of the old Crystal Empire… Come to think of it, since that lavender mare had arrived in town, Applejack had been having to do a lot more ‘defeating’ of potentially world-ending villains than she had ever really planned or prepared to do in her life. Fortunately, despite all of that, she still had her one hidden utopia in this world: truffles.
Applejack, for her part, did of course see the irony in the element of honesty having a secret and engaging in occasional ruses to hide her knowledge of it. It was partially the truth that the hogs on the farm were mainly used for their manure as a fertilizer… It just ever so happened that during the summer, she would sneak one of the hogs out towards the Whitetail Woods behind the property to hunt for truffles. There was that word again. Applejack could already see them laid out neatly on a plate, delicately cut, and mixed in with the pasta and basil that she had discreetly purchased the other day. Little dark dumplings of flavor among their flavorful and buttery nest…
That was the main reason why she hadn’t shared this particular interest of hers with any of her friends yet though. She could already hear Rainbow Dash’s raspy laughter in her head the second that she was to discover that the ‘hardworking down-to-earth country mare’ had a taste for such fineries. Or Twilight going onto some tangent about the history of truffles or some other speech that she would accidentally tune out and half pay attention to (to be honest, she only half-understood how the Cutie Map supposedly worked even after several explanations). Or, worst of all, the over-delighted squeal of delight that Rarity would give as she proclaimed:
‘Darling, why I never knew that you, darling, had such a keen tongue for the finer things in life, darling, why, darling, you simply must accompany me on my next excursion to Hoity Toity’s toity haute cuisine, darling’ or… whatever event that pony might force her to dress up for again, Applejack was more than eager to avoid another fiasco like that of when Trenderhoof had come to town. She didn’t particularly look forward to any more of those fancier “swar-ays” of hers either. It’s not that she didn’t like the fashionable pony, but at a certain point over the course of knowing a pony for nine years, there were only so many times one could hear about the difference between a pick stitch and a slip stitch.
Is it really so wrong for me to admit to my friends that I occasionally enjoy eating ‘fancy’ food? Applejack asked herself again for the hundredth time.
Well, if they never find out, then you’ll never find out, came her standard reply.
As she led Polka the pig from the hog pen tied around a well-worn piece of rope, she smiled to herself with that knowledge.
That’s when she heard the familiar tune of Fluttershy whistling to the birds as she made her way to the farm.
Oh, horseapples.
~*~*~*~
Fluttershy gave a happy wave to Applejack as she made her way through the gate of the property, the damp smell of hay and animals, a familiar and comforting scent for her, washing over her.
“Hey, Applejack,” she cheerfully called over to her. “I knew that today was one of your days off, so I was wondering if you wanted to come over to Hayseed Swamp with me? I have a sick toad that I’ve been nursing back to health and- oh who is this little cutie?” she asked of Polka as she spotted the pig that Applejack was leading by the rope.
Applejack gave a strangled cough and looked over her shoulder before replying in a distant sort of voice that lacked her usual cheerfulness: “Oh, uh, howdy there Fluttershy, I didn’t see you there… I, uh… well, shucks, I can’t today, because, I’m uh… taking Polka here for a walk!” Applejack chewed on her lips as she finished and looked up and to the left of where Fluttershy was standing knowing that her lies had never improved, but hoping that by just avoiding eye-contact that the pegasus might not notice.
“You’re taking Polka for a walk? Isn’t that… rather unusual for a pig?” she questioned. Admittedly, Fluttershy wasn’t the most familiar with pigs, as she usually would send them to the more experienced Applejack if she found one. Still, she easily recognized the face of Applejack telling a lie. Although, to be fair, she supposed that anypony with eyes would be able to recognize that.
“Well, uh, yes! Why not? It’s good for her… health?” Applejack replied, hoofing at the ground.
“I’ve never seen you walk any of your pigs before. I-”
“Well, that’s because it’s a new thing, you see” Applejack cut her off before she could even finish, “Granny told me that it needed to be done to keep them from getting too lazy. And you know Granny, when she gets somethin’ in her head, she becomes more determined than a heifer in spring!”
“Oh, well in that case, would you like for me to accompany you then? I know that it’s your day off, and so I’d be happy to go with you so that you don’t have to do the chore all by yourself!”
“No, uh that’ll be fine, sugarcube! You know how pigs are, they get all jittery in crowds!” Applejack replied with a withering laugh as she messed with her hat, her eyes desperately looking for some form of escape. “Well, I best get going then, you can see that Polka here is getting all antsy and whatnot, I’ll uh, see you tomorrow!”
With that, Applejack immediately took off at a fast-paced canter, kicking up dust behind her, before Fluttershy could even respond. Polka, who throughout the whole conversation had been lazily sniffing at a wooden bucket of apples, started to follow after her after some brief hesitation, leaving Fluttershy standing there at the entrance entirely perplexed. The only time that she saw her friend lying like that usually was during their monthly poker nights where they all agreed that Applejack could play using wooden bits for the sake of her finances.
She surveyed the farm, but there did not seem to be anything out of place. The cows didn’t look any more suspicious than they might normally be. The rest of the hogs were still in their pen, which was odd given that she imagined a strong pony like Applejack would certainly be able to walk more than one at a time. Maybe pigs really were bad with crowds? Or maybe it was something far more sinister. Scenarios of another changeling plot or some new evil pony named after a time of the day began to play in her mind. She found that she was quickly beginning to whip herself into more and more of a panic at what horrible fate might have attacked her friend this time around.
Maybe she has been put under some sort of evil curse? Flutterhshy found that thought pushed itself to the front of her mind and latched itself in such that she couldn’t escape it.
Calm yourself, Fluttershy, just approach this rationally… perhaps I should follow her just to be sure that everything is alright? I‘ll trail behind her, just to make sure that nothing suspicious is ahoof…
She could see that Applejack had already made it to the other side of the property and was beginning to slow down as she made her way into the tall oak trees that towered above the orchard. If Fluttershy was going to do something, then now was the time. She couldn’t risk running back for the help of her friends for fear of losing Applejack among the towering trees of the Whitetail Woods. That left her no other option then. She steeled herself with a breath, and with a beat of her wings, flew gently up into the air, just enough so that she would be able to silently glide to where Applejack had entered the woods.
Fluttershy, despite her weaker flying skills, was able to use the breeze pushing behind her to quickly close the distance and arrive at the edge of the property. Here, a small circular shack stood with a chimney in which the Apple Family would occasionally roast their apples later in autumn. Peeking around the shack, she looked out into the trees that sat at the edge of the property. Although the tall oak trees created an impenetrable canopy from above, they also blocked enough sunlight that there was very little underbrush there, making it easy to pinpoint the orange body of the mare disappearing into the woods. The pegasus followed behind the mare on the tips of her hooves, calling upon the skills that she had forged during previous dangerous espionage missions with her friends.
At first, Applejack seemed to still be somewhat nervous, urging Polka along and preventing her from sniffing for too long at any one tree trunk. More than once she would unexpectedly check behind her, causing Fluttershy to have to rapidly dive behind one of the large tree trunks. Gradually though, the pony seemed to relax, and even cheer up, talking jovially with the pig, prompting the pegasus to reconsider whether or not there might actually be something wrong with her friend. The zephyr had changed directions, now carrying Applejack’s voice and the scent of the late summer flowers faintly back to the pegasus.
“Shucks, Polka.” Applejack said as she and the pig began a steadier pace further into the woods. “I was beginning to get a mite worried there. Guess our secret is safe though, huh?”
Fluttershy felt the calmness of relief freshen her lungs at those words, perhaps Equestria was safe after all, and she had just let her fears get the worst of her. Letting out a sigh, she was about to turn around back home when the farm pony’s next words gave her pause:
“Woo-wee. Now, time to show that you’re not just good for all that manure then, ain’t that right Polkie? Come on, let’s pick up the pace, I’m starving.”
Fluttershy froze, her wings splayed out on either side of her. Admittedly, it had always struck her as odd that the Apple family was the only family in town that kept any hogs, but she had always believed AJ when she dismissed any questions by pointing to the usefulness of their manure. But how was a pig supposed to help with food here then?
Folding her wings back in, Fluttershy quickly turned back around and began trotting after the pair; her curiosity now getting the best of her. The leaves of some of the cottonwoods overhead shook with the wind as it picked up in pace, making the sound of falling rain and drowning out the voice of Applejack into an incoherent mess of countrified vowel sounds. Fluttershy was partially thankful for this though, as the ground was gradually becoming more and more covered in stones that skipped along as they were struck by her hooves, but the rustling of the leaves drowned out the dancing of the white stones.
Gradually, the pair ahead of her came to a stop within a small clearing beneath the tree canopy, and Polka began to eagerly sniff at the ground. Fluttershy spotted a thick oak tree that was still a fair distance away from the pair and quickly made her way behind it, digging into the rocky soil and gathering her pink mane and tail around her so that it would not peek out around the trunk and give her away. Here, where the unyielding branches of the oaks were more plentiful, she could hear the voice of AJ and the oinking of the pig more clearly.
“Well, I suppose here is as good of a spot as any for this then, what do you think, Polka?” AJ asked, to which the hog gave a happy squeal of agreement.
Fluttershy did not dare to risk taking a peek from behind the tree though, certain that her mane would stick out among the earth tones of the dirt. All she could do was listen as, for several minutes, she could hear Polka trot around throughout the clearing, her trotters occasionally kicking up small rocks as Applejack hummed a little tune to herself.
Fluttershy was just considering flying up to the tall branches up above to sneak a peek at the pair, when she heard Polka give a high pitched squeal from far away, followed by an oink of protest and the sound of scuffling in the dirt.
“Easy now, Polka, I’m sorry that I have to do this to you. Guess I should have brought a muzzle to keep you under control…”
Fluttershy felt an itchy nervous sweat begin to erupt as she heard the poor animal suffering, unable to even begin to imagine what might compel Applejack to put the pig through such distress. She had always seemed to care so well for her animals in the past. But now, she was unsure, as the sounds of the scuffle became louder as the hooves of the two ground against the dirt.
“Easy now, Polka. This will go a lot faster… if you just stop struggling!” Applejack grunted with a considerable effort.
She’d heard more than enough. Friend or not, no animal was going to be treated like this on her watch! She gathered herself to her hooves and was about to cry out in protest when she was cut off by yet another squeal from the distressed Polka.
“Calm down!” Applejack cried. “Please. I promise to make this quick, believe me, I’m starving!”
Fluttershy paused once again. Surely, she could not be talking about-
“Come now, when we get back, I’ll make sure that you get plenty stuffed.”
Fluttershy found herself paralyzed on her hooves, unable to wrap her brain around the reality that her friend Applejack was a carnivore. It wasn’t until she heard a loud thud as a body collided with the earth that Fluttershy was pulled away from her stupor, but she was nevertheless still frozen as she felt a bile building within her throat realizing that she had surely just listened to the sound of the lifeless body of Polka as it collapsed onto the ground. Her head felt like it teetered back and forth atop her neck, as if it were detached from her own body as she heard Applejack’s chilling next words coming with a labored, yet eager sigh of satisfaction.
“There, I’ll make this quick, and then we’ll be on our way.”
With the sound of a hoof striking something solid, Fluttershy felt her strength leave her as she fainted to the ground in shock, and was overcome by blackness.
~*~*~*~
Fluttershy awoke to a paw prodding into her muzzle. Her aching head sang its protests as she raised it and opened her eyes to the sight of a concerned squirrel looking at her. The golden rays of sunset were trickling in from small gaps in the canopy, casting the area in a subdued warm glow. She was about to ask the cute little critter what she was doing out in the woods so late when the images came flooding back to her. She could feel a throbbing sensation in her throat, the urge to empty the contents of her stomach fighting its way to the forefront of her mind, but she resisted it.
Giving an appreciative nod, and a thank you to her forest friend, Fluttershy made her way around the tree trunk to the small clearing, her head still pounding, and unsure of what she was hoping to see. There was no blood from the brutal butchering, but she did spot a patch of disturbed dark earth near the base of the largest oak; the shallow grave left behind to hide parts of the pig’s murdered corpse that Applejack couldn’t carry back.
Applejack. Fluttershy felt her mind click at the name like a dam bursting. A rage flooded over her, mixing with the disgust to create a noxious fury. She felt the bubbling fury escape from her with a frenzied yell that caused her earlier squirrel friend to flee. She needed to confront her, and make her confess to her crime.
She crouched low to the ground, one final glance at the grave adding fuel to the firestorm in her heart. With a beat of her wings, she took wing into the evening sky, and soon spotted a column of black smoke from the farm, and she headed in that direction.
~*~*~*~
Applejack, for her part, had finally finished plating her food. The large flat noodles were in a creamy white sauce of eggs and fresh butter that had been produced at the Apple Family farm, with four small leaves of basil delicately perched on top of her small golden treasured hill. Among the noodles sat the thin slices of the black truffles that she had carefully cut and placed. Their earthy and savory smell flowed over her nostrils, filling the confined space of the small circular hut where the family roasted the apples later in the autumn, making her tongue salivate.
She had finally taken her place at a small table that was generally kept in the smokehouse to prepare the apples and was ready to take her first bite when the entire door to the building flew open, creating a gust of air that caused her hat to fly off from her stunned face. There, with her mouth hanging just inches from her secret foodie feast, she saw the face of Fluttershy. Her pink mane was sticking out at odd ends, covered in leaves, and a small branch had tangled itself near her ears. Tears streamed down her face as she took one look at the plate in front of Applejack before crying out in a hoarse voice:
“Applejack! How could you?”
Applejack’s mouth now hung open in shock as she stammered to find her words as Fluttershy continued.
“I can’t believe that you would do such a thing! After everything we have been through… I thought I knew you!” Fluttershy shouted, choking back a sob.
Applejack felt a wave of guilt rush to her cheeks. She knew that her secret habit would most likely come to a shock to most ponies. She had played out the scenario of her revealing it to her friends a hundred times over in her head. However, seeing her friend in such a desperate state, her first instinct was to fall back onto old habits as she sputtered out the words: “Fluttershy, it’s not what it looks like!”
Fluttershy seemed to recoil at the obvious lie as her voice now turned aggressive, “Not what it looks like? Then what about this - this stuff in your pasta!?”
“Oh, shucks, sugarcube. Do you like these too?” Applejack questioned, but her words faltered as she saw one of the mare’s eyes give a deadly twitch. Clearly not the right approach then. It was time to come clean. “Fluttershy, I have something to confess, something that I’ve been meaning to tell y’all for a while now.”
Fluttershy raised an incredulous eyebrow, but allowed her to continue.
“You see, it all started when I met that griffon, Gustave Le Grand, on our way to Canterlot, apparently griffons really like to go out and-” Applejack was cut off when the pegasus’ rapidly paling face began to take on a green tone and held back an audible retch.
“You what?”
“Well, he said they were tasty, and that the Whitetail Woods was actually a really good place to go for hunting-” Applejack began.
“Hunting? You mean to say that this type of thing takes place often here?” Fluttershy interjected.
“Well, sure. I think that it’s becoming fairly common. I know that a few griffons come by during the summer to do it, but I think that more and more ponies in Ponyville might begin to eat them too once they give it a taste...”
Applejack let that sentence fade away as Fluttershy’s reaction made it clear that the ponies of Ponyville were not as adventurous as she might have thought, as the pony before her actively fought back another revolution from her stomach.
"How could you say that…?” The pegasus croaked out, after barely succeeding in fighting back the nausea. “It's sad enough that some animals just can't do otherwise, but we don't have to, you're actively, willingly, deliberately engaging in something horrific you shouldn't even have to do, this is just sick, it’s the definition of evil!"
"Well I wouldn't say that it’s that evil, what's so wrong with a pony wanting to try new things? "
“But what about the poor piggies?” The pegasus shouted, emphaisizing the word with a slam of her hoof into the ground. “How could you do something so cruel?”
The farm pony gave a chuckle in response to that, to the clear chagrin of the pegasus. Leave it to Fluttershy to get caught up on how the animals are being treated, that explains why she is in such a frenzied mood
“Ah shucks, ‘Shy. They really don’t mind all that much. A lot of them actually enjoy the hunt.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened before being overcome by a deep scowl as she marched towards Applejack, a fire within her eyes that the orange pony hadn’t seen since the pegasus had lost her temper with the Mane-iac.
“You think that they enjoy being eaten!?”
Applejack’s ear’s curled down at the sound of the scream and she instinctively held up a foreleg to protect her face from the normally docile pegasus who now seemed ready to tear her limb from limb. That’s when the words that she had spoken fully registered with the mare.
“Wait… what? I didn’t realize that truffles had emotions, I thought they were just mushrooms, I swear!” Applejack yelled, feeling a growing sense of dread at the reaction that would come from the pegasus that was sure to reveal the living nature of the black spheres of joy.
Consarnit, leave it to me to eat the one sentient fungus in all of Equestria…
“The truffles?” She heard the pegasus respond, some of the building steam beginning to dissipate from her voice. “What do you mean the truffles?”
It was now Applejack’s turn to be confused. “What did you think that I was talking about, sugarcube?” She said as she lowered her hoof to confront the confused face of her friend whose eyes were now darting back and forth between herself and the plate of now-cold pasta.
“You mean to tell me that you didn’t lead Polka out into the woods to kill her where nopony would hear so that you could cook her in secret in this smokehouse and feast upon her flesh?” Her voice faltered, becoming more and more unsure with each word that she spoke.
Applejack breathed a sigh of relief. My secret is safe then! She just thinks that I murdered a pig!
…
Wait. No, that’s worse. She took it all back. It turns out that Fluttershy of all ponies would take the news of her gourmet liaisons the worst out of all of her friends.
“Well, now, sugarcube, it looks like we have some things to clear up... Care for a plate?”
Author's Note
It's been a while since I've written anything, so hopefully you all liked it! Feel free to leave a comment to let me know what you thought, and thank you again to the incredible Alsey for the cover art and help editing and brainstorming as well as Aremna for the help editing and brainstorming. They're both incredible writers, so you should go check out their stories!
