Snails has heard a new word and has decided to figure out its meaning. Who knows what sort of wacky hijinx he'll get into this time?

Once again, we have a story written to satisfy a challenge from a friend. This time the challenge was a little odd and had three parts:
1) It had to include the word "marehood" multiple times.
2) The word "marehood," had to have no concrete meaning.
3) It had to include Snails.

Standard rules applied. Written in one hour, no going back and re-reading/editing.