The Choosing WHAT?!

by TheKMExperience

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Comedy, Limestone Pie, Profanity, Derpy Hooves, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Doctor Whooves
Length: 6888

It's all a grave(L) mistake...

Hearts and Hooves Day is approaching, and Doctor Whooves wishes to make the holiday feel the most festive along with the help of his best companion, Derpy.

However, a centuries old tradition may jeopardize his plans, for a stone cold obstacle threatens his chance at success.

Hijinks and lowjinks ensue.

Published 2021-07-15 18:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2022-09-21 22:40:34 UTC

Hearts for Whooves

"Fuses? Check. POW powder? Check. Tasty crumpets? Yes, please, yum..."

One spring afternoon in the little town of Ponyville, everypony searches around the area for the perfect gifts for that special somepony for that special occasion:

:heart:HEARTS & HOOVES DAY :heart:

Just a mere five days away, those lucky guys and gals take to the streets in preparation for their sweethearts, buying every enormous balloon and every box of chocolates and every mushy card.

Down in the town's bustling market plaza, Doctor "Time Turner" Whooves overlooks his assorted stock of festive firecrackers and colorful, totally not untested ~~prototype~~ explosives.

As he fixes himself a fresh crumpet, the stallion's organized state of mind is interrupted by a loud THUD! coming from the stand's sign above.

"Afternoon, Derpy." Whooves hums, savoring his snack.

There, the blond pegasus flops to the ground. She dusts herself off before rising to meet the doc's gaze.

"Woo, afternoon, doctor." she sighs, exhausted. "Whatcha up to here?"

"Ah, I'm glad you asked. I'm planning on making a splash this Hearts and Hooves Day. I've concocted something that should lighten the mood for everypony, even for the most sour singles."

"How exciting! What delightful doodad have you put together this time, huh?"

Digging through the rustic crates behind his stand, Whooves pops back up and sets a bulky pink firecracker with an elegant spark-shaped pattern around it.

"May I present, my patented Passion Poppers!" he states, holding the explosive proudly. "Not only would love be in the air, but so will these puppies. They're packed with glitter!"

"Ooh, why glitter?"

"Because a refracted light causes the enterochromaffin cells to release serotonin."

"..."

"It makes ponies happy."

"Hee, neat!"

"Once all of these things take to the skies, their bright lights shall express the true feeling of the occasion. A project of this magnitude would require a lot of time."

"But don't you have that special somepony to spend the day with?"

"Heh, I would assume not, dear Derpy. It would seem that science is my one true mistress at the moment. How about yourself?"

"Muffins are my one true love, that's no secret."

Derpy pulls out a muffin and passionately smooches the bit of blueberry drooping out the treat's cup before smooshing it against her nose, missing her smacking lips by an inch.

"Here's hoping they stay sweet to you." Whooves chuckles. "While you pledge your undying love, I will be here looking over my babies here. Gotta know how to push their buttons, you know what I mean?"

"Mmm, nummy muffin, num..."

"Yeah, she knows what I mean. Now, onto business."

Whooves reaches under the counter and grabs a thick wrench as he tinkers and clangs around the peppy object.

"Alrighty, first mechanical firework ever," he sighs to himself, attaching the wrench around a large lug nut. "This probably won't explode."

The doctor twists the nut tighter on the contraption to it's limit.

"Just a few...more...TURNS!"

CLUNK!

The nut snaps off and the popper soars into the sky with a shrill scream, leaving behind a fluorescent pink stream of smoke that attracts the mingling ponies' attention. Whooves looks on in awe at his creation taking a mighty flight. The first mechanical firework to fly, the first one ready to share it's spectacle to the world!

The first one to immediately lose momentum and instantly fall into a pitiful plummet.

"That's not good." the doctor utters.

As Derpy opens wide and blindly prepares to tear into another one of her baked bae's, the metal popper comes hurling down and plops atop her muffin's top.

POP! the popper bursts in front of the poor pony's cross-eyed, soot-covered face.

"Mmm," she giggles woozily. "Now, that hits the spot..."

POOF!

Derpy collapses.

"Derpy!" Whooves panics, kneeling down over the pegasus and scooping her up. "Derpy, are you alright?!"

"I-I'm, I'm okies," she mumbles in a daze. "At least I don't have drain bamage, that's for sure!"

"Oh, my..."

"Wait, it's coming...it's coming...it's coming......unconscious now, blehhh..."

The ditzy mare falls limp and passes out.

"Come on, lay right here, dear."

"I ever tell you how handsome you look? Boop!"

"Rest your mind, you're going delusional."

At Whooves' humble home/tinker shop in downtown Ponyville, the concerned stallion guides his bandaged friend onto the cozy couch in his living room.

"That feel comfy?" he asks, tenderly placing an ice pack on her forehead.

"Yeppers, peppers." Derpy coos, snuggling sweetly on the cushions.

"Nurse says you should just rest for a few days and you'll be right as rain. Oi, I just feel terrible."

"It's okay, Doc. You didn't mean to, you're fine."

"Are you sure?"

The silly pegasus waves the stallion close, playfully rubbing her nose against his with a cheeky smile.

"You're my best friend, you silly pone."

"Heh, the feeling's mutual, Miss Hooves. The best friend a tinkering fool could have."

"You're no fool, Whooves. You're cool."

"Me? Cool?"

"Mmhmm, from all that ice you carried around, I'm surprised you haven't caught a cold yet, hehe."

"Ha, you silly filly."

DING DONG! the doorbell rang.

"Oh, somepony's here," Derpy slurs, struggling to wiggle off the couch. "I'll go and-"

"Ah ah," the stallion interrupts, hopping out of his chair. "I'll get it, lass. Don't you move a wing muscle."

"Okies."

Heading out the room, an ominous chill begins to stir within the doctor's chest the further he approaches the front door, a tiny feeling of dread and despair grazing the back of his mind.

There, as he opens the door, that feeling began to make more sense.

"Limestone," he says warmly. "What a pleasant surprise. You're looking..."

As the stoic mare's cold, icy stare pierces it's way into the doctor's fragile soul, his shaky breath suddenly becomes visible in the air.

"Well......it's good to see you."

"Y-Yeah, sure..." she mutters, turning her head away.

"So, what brings you to Ponyville?"

"Good question!"

Soon, the sudden arrival of one Pinkie Pie bouncing around the front door irritates her gloomy sister, who facehoofs herself.

"Limey here came into town for some exciting news, Doctor!" the party pony cheers, pouncing in place.

"I wouldn't really say 'exciting', but..." Limestone mumbles.

"News?" Whooves questions. "Well, do come in, ladies."

Leading the company toward the lively living room, the stallion sets a pleasant cup of warm tea for everypony as they take their seats.

"Hewwo." Derpy waves.

"Oh, where are my manners?" Whooves gasps sheepishly. "Derpy, this is Limestone, Pinkie's sister. Limestone, Derpy. I'll fetch you some tea, too."

"Nice to meet ya, Limestone."

"I guess." Limestone shrugs dismissively.

"Oh, no," Pinkie whines. "What happened to Derpy?"

"Ah, firework accident," Whooves states, pouring another cup. "I feel just terrible. But luckily, she'll pull through. Just a couple of days of rest ought to do her good."

"The hell's up with her eyes?" Limestone whispers.

"Ah, well, that's a very interesting thing. You see..."

Whooves pauses with a puzzled frown.

"I don't really know. Anyways, you said you had news?"

"Yeah," Pinkie inserts. "Why did you need to come here, Limey? You've been super quiet since you showed, more than your usual quiet."

"It's, uh...quite important," Limestone states, cutting eye contact. "I needed to come here."

"Oh?" Whooves utters, tilting his head. "Well, tell me whatever is the matter?"

Limestone takes a deep breath, sitting up straight against her seat and jerking her spiky hair to the side away from her stern expression.

"On our farm, we have this...tradition," she states, rubbing the back of her neck. "One that's always been done by every member of the Pie family and helped our land thrive."

"No..." Pinkie gasps, covering her hanging jaw. "You don't mean the...who could be the one-"

"Quiet, Pinkie," Limestone huffs, pushing the mare's jaw shut. "Lemme do the talking."

"But I-"

"HUSH."

"What is it?" Derpy asks.

"It's called the Choosing Stone. It's a sacred rock near our farm that tells whoever uses it who they're destined to have a special bond with and be together for life. I-I learned who my...ugh, special somepony is, and he lives right here in Ponyville."

"Why, that is splendid news, Miss Pie!" Whooves chimes.

"OMC. OMC. OMC!!!" Pinkie hyperventilates.

"Who's the...lucky stallion?"

"I-I'm not really good at this kinda thing, but..."

Limestone slumps out of her seat and quickly sets a thin hoof-sized ring made of rock in the doctor's lap before zipping her face away from his curious gaze.

"Here."

"What might this be?" Whooves says, examining the object.

"It's a ring. F-For......love, or whatever."

"Oh......huh?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Pinkie launches out of her seat like a rocket, ricocheting around the walls and babbling on about being the happiest pony in all of Equestria.

"THE STONE CHOSE WHOOVES?!" she squees. "YOU'RE SO LUCKY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!"

"Uh, no?" Whooves says, confused.

The hyper pony hops onto the arm of the doctor's chair, wrapping her hooves around the stunned stallion's face with a low squeak.

"Glad to have you part of the family, soon-to-be-new brother!"

Whooves gulps.

Stone Cold

"So, we gonna do this thing or not?"

The room fell silent.

All of the wacky, wonky clocks and doodads come to a sickening halt under the horrific tsunami of awkwardness. The cold, unfazed stare from the expectant equine failed to ease the uneasiness, as the warm tea among the ponies freezes solid within milliseconds.

"Hee, silly me," Derpy giggles, sitting up on the couch. "My mind is playing tricks on me. For a second, it sounded like Limestone was proposing to you, doctor."

"She did." Whooves mutters.

"Ah, that's what I thought. Then, I feel I've earned this reaction. WHAT?!?!"

"Isn't this great?!" Pinkie cheers. "Limey's quite the looker, I can tell you that."

"Um, indeed," Whooves says, tugging at his collar. "A looker..."

Whooves flinches as Limestone's pupils morph into the form of sharp jaws barking in a ravenous buzz, her fear-striking smirk chilling him to the bone.

"I am so sorry, Miss Pie. But I'm not so sure that this would work out."

"Why not?" she asks.

"You see......we're as compatible as bleach and ammonia, you have to understand. Are you quite certain there wasn't a misspell? A typo, perhaps?"

"But the stone has never made a mistake, it's helped unite the Pie family with their soul mates for generations since the very beginning. It has never steered us wrong."

"There's got to be some reasonable explanation." Derpy ponders.

"Simple. Whooves and I must have some weird connection, or whatever."

"Right on, sis!" Pinkie squeaks, pulling out three bulky burlap bags. "And she has aaall her essentials packed for her stay in town. We got a soggy toothbrush, a rock fashion kit, a recipe for mom's special rock soup. Oooh, you cooking something up for a romantic occasion, Limey?!"

"Hooves OFF, Pinkie." Limestone growls, snatching the bags away with a blush.

"I mean, you're welcome to rest here during your stay," Whooves nods earnestly. "But I just need time to wrap my brain around all of this."

"Where can I put my things?"

"Up the stairs, down the hall, second door to the right."

With a throaty grunt, the surprisingly strong mare slings the heavy bags over her back with her teeth before stomping out the room and up the stairs near the front door.

"Well, better make every second count with that noggin of yours, sugar flank," Limestone sighs, staring down at her watch-less wrist as she walks up the stairs. "I'm not a very patient mare and I'm not gonna leave Holder's Boulder on its own at home for too long. Hope you like grey."

"Oh, my..."

"You'll have to excuse her," Pinkie chuckles, rubbing the back of her mane once her sour sibling was out of sight. "Limey can be a really sweet mare once you get to know her. Sure, she's not the best at communication, and tends to have a twisted sense of humor, smells like rocks 24/7, along with some bad bad anger issues-"

"Your point, Pinkie?"

"She's not a bad mare, Whooves. She's never had that special stallion in her life before, she's new to all of this. She always says she's not jealous of Maud for having a coltfriend like Mudbriar. I don't know about you, but deep down, I get a feeling that she was."

"That's so sad." Derpy coos sadly.

"I...I understand." Whooves sighs. "I heavily doubt we'd be tying the knot within the span of a week or two, but...I'm willing to at least try to keep her company, make her feel welcome. Nopony deserves to be alone during this holiday."

"Cool beans! But just remember one thing, and it's really really really important."

"Of course, what is it?"

Pinkie towers her head over the stallion, pressing her large eyes against his quivering pupils with a suspicious eyebrow raised to its limit.

"You treat my big sissy real good, you hear me?" she says in an ominous tone.

"G-Got it." Whooves gulps.

"Hmmm, I got my eyes on you, tinker bell..."

"I'm back."

"Limey!" Pinkie chimes back in her usual chipper nature as her sister returns. "I have the most splendiferous idea! Let's go get you some pretty outfits! You know, just in case. I know a great place where all the best dresses are, come on!"

"Dresses, yuck." Limestone scoffs, rolling her eyes.

"What do you mean 'just in case'?" Whooves asks.

"Be right back!"

"See what I have to deal with?" Limestone sighs.

In a flash, the pink blur yanks her annoyed farm pony sis out of the living room and out the door, leaving the quirky duo in the silent room.

"So, what now, doc?" Derpy asks.

"I guess I'll have to pay a visit to Mayor Mare about this whole stone ordeal." the stallion states. "Surely there's somewhat of a loophole to this kind of tradition. There must be..."

Watching her flustered companion pace around the living room table, Derpy staggers to her hooves and wraps him in a warm hug, nuzzling her cheek against his.

"It'll be okie dokie, doctor," she coos. "Don't you worry about nothin', muffin."

"I'm so cold. So...so cold..."

"Good thing Rarity had a discount sale for Heart's & Hooves Day, Limey. You're gonna look fabulous!"

"No crown can fix this frown. Besides, what you put in here?"

Outside of the Carousel Boutique, the Pie sisters stroll down the dirt path for town carrying a few glamorous bags on their backs where a sneaky Pinkie seals a bag shut.

"Aww, don't be like that, silly. Look at it when you get back to your room, it's a surprise."

"You know surprises and I don't exactly agree with each other-"

"Trust me, with it, you'll look like a supermodel!"

"Pfft, April Fool's."

The sisters stop and turn to a trio of snickering frivolous mares in flamboyant garb watching on from the entrance of the town's beauty salon.

"That hair," a mare scoffs. "That drab thing is so spiky and dull, you could use it to cut wheat on a farm."

"Better yet, a rock farm." another mare cackles.

"Don't even get me started on that flat, sad excuse of a chest fluff."

A blush forms upon Limestone's face, a light growl emitting from her quivering sneer. Veins throbbing on her forehead, she scoops up a nearby rock off the ground before approaching the three.

"What are you gonna do with that rock," one of them laughs. "Is that what you use to file your hoov-"

CRUNCH!

The other gossip gals back off and leave as Limestone places the stone upon the mare's mane and crushes it into pebbles against her noggin with a hard slam, knocking her out cold.

"Wow, that was coal of you, big sis!" Pinkie jokes, playfully jabbing around. "Just goes to show you never take a mare's looks for granite, wouldn't you say?"

Limestone stomps off down the road, letting out a hateful snort.

"Limey, come back!"

"Just leave me alone, Pinkie." Limestone huffs.

"Don't listen to them, they're just jealous of your unique style. There's nothing wrong with you-"

"EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH ME!"

The air grows silent in the town from the hurt mare's booming voice.

"T-That's not true, Limey. You-"

"Stop trying to find the 'good' in me, you're wasting your time. I scare stallions away, I have resting horse face, I have anger issues, I smell of rocks, I EAT rocks! Face it, there is nothing worth finding in this garbage geode and no ridiculous ass get-up will change that!"

"B-But Limey..."

"Just......just leave me alone. Please."

Limestone's burning eyes begin to tear up, her stress-filled seething turns to sniffles as she gallops away and leaving her bags behind.

Pinkie falls on her flank, her poofy mane deflating like a balloon. Tears begin to flood down her cheeks.

"Limey..."

You Rock My World...

"Alright, you muffin. This time, you are going in my mouth, you are going to be delicious, and you will LIKE it. Got it?"

"..."

"Good."

Back in Whooves' living room, a stubborn Derpy is having a stern discussion with her faithful friend, the blueberry muffin.

"And......NUM!"

SPLAT!

Derpy slams the baked good against the tip of her snout, missing her eyes but also her mouth as well.

"Mmm," she coos, nibbling on her nose. "Close enough."

Soon, Doctor Whooves enters the living room, a look of defeat gracing his exhausted expression.

"So how'd it go with the mayor, doctor?" Derpy asks.

"No such luck, I'm afraid," the doctor sighs. "There was nothing she could really do regarding centuries-long family traditions and such. No loopholes whatsoever."

"Aww, bummer. What are you going to do?"

"I'm afraid I have a complete and utter lack of options.

"Can I be your little ones' godmother in the future?"

"Very funny, Miss Hooves."

The two jolt as a harsh SLAM fills the room. They turn to witness a frazzled Limestone sulking by with her quivering sneer concerning the ponies.

"Ah, Limestone," Whooves waves warmly. "We were just chatting about-"

The echoing sounds of the bitter mare's grey hooves hurriedly stomping hard up the staircase cuts off the stallion.

"-you."

"Okay..." Derpy ponders.

"I'll take care of it."

The ditzy pegasus resumes her disputes with her muffins as Whooves follows after his glum guest.

Upstairs, he peeps his head in the sour mare's door, seeing the hurt horse wiping the wave of tears away.

"Limestone, are you okay?" he gasps. "What's the matter, dear?"

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" she growls shakily. "NOTHING MATTERS, JUST GO AWAY! S-STAY AWAY FROM HOLDER'S BOULDER!"

"Hey, hey, take it easy. Your boulder is safe and untouched, I'm sure."

Limestone buries her face between her hooves with an irritated grunt, failing to wipe away the stream of tears soaking her cheeks as the concerned doctor hops up on the bed beside her.

"What is wrong with me?" she sniffles.

"Wrong how?"

"I mean......why does nopony like me? I know I'm not the easiest pony to deal with, but...just...why? Just why?"

"Oh, come here."

Whooves leans the broken mare into a soft, comforting hug, her sniffles gradually subsiding under the kind gesture.

"W-What are you doing?" she asks. "Are you trying to break my spine or something?"

"No, silly," the doctor scoffs playfully. "I'm hugging you, dear."

Hesitant, Limestone rests her hooves on the stallion's firm but fuzzy back, a sincere smile growing on her face.

"Heh," she chuckles to herself. "So this is what it feels like."

"What's that?"

"Being hugged. By a stallion outside the family, at least. It feels nice."

"I'm here for you, lass."

"Tell anypony, and I will buck you and your entire bloodline up."

"Noted. You know what always rests my nerves? A warm cuppa tea. Care for some, dear?"

"Sure."

Whooves gives the mare a friendly little pat on the back before sliding off the edge of the bed and trotting out the door.

Alone in the room, Limestone falls back with a rough sigh, sprawling herself atop the covers as she stares at the blank ceiling. The hard plop tips the clothes bag beside her over, spilling its wrapped up contents and grabbing her attention.

There, she finds a note taped to one of the bags:

Just in Case...

It read.

Moments later, the peppy inventor returns to the mare's room rolling in a tea cart with a kooky skip in his step.

"Alrighty," Whooves chimes. "I got us some freshly brewed-"

He freezes.

"U-Um, Miss Pie..." he utters. "W-What are you wearing?"

Standing at the end of the bed, Limestone shyly scuffs a hoof on the wooden floor, fashioning a gorgeous and transparent lacey black gown with sparkling diamonds draped around the waist

"I, um, Pinkie got it for me," she states, doing a delicate twirl in the glittery dress. "She says it'll make me look, what was the word......'smexy', I think?"

"I see..."

"How do I look?"

"Y-You do look lovely, Miss Pie."

"Hehe, you really think so?"

"Quite sure."

"No stallion's ever saw me as the attractive type, you know?"

"There's beauty in all of us, lass. What truly matters is that we embrace the beauty within us all."

"Y-You......you really think I'm beautiful?"

"Of course, my dear. Inside and out. You're far from being 'ugly', that's the truth."

"What about my fluff?"

"Heh, your fluff too, but that shouldn't matter. Remember, you're only as beautiful as you feel."

"I...I do feel beautiful now."

"Wonderful. I assure you, you're perfectly- fiiiiiii..."

Whooves drops the teacup back on the tray, his body stands firm like a statue as his jaunty bowtie spins like a propeller.

There, the once hardened mare, heart now lovingly warmed, plants a tender kiss upon the stallion's twitching neck.

"L-Limestone," he wheezes. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because." she whispers playfully in his ear, resuming her neck kissies. "Does that feel good to you?"

"I-I'm not quite sure."

"Oh? Well, how 'bout this?"

The cheeky mare tugs upon Whooves' soft brown skin with a light nibble, earning a stifled sigh from her prey as she locks the doctor in a tight embrace and rests her head on his chest.

"You're different from other guys," she sighs, caressing his back. "You...you care."

"I-I do care, Limestone. But you're going a little too fast here, don't you think?"

"I know, I know. It's just......I think I love you."

"...I'm sorry, what?"

The cunning pony slinks her head up to Whooves' ears, gently whispering into it.

"I love you."

"Look, you're a......a lovely mare, but it's not advisable to rush into things like tha- MMM!"

The doctor's objections are cut off as the affectionate farm pony presses his face deep against her heaving, grey floof.

"Does my fluff please you?" she sighs breathlessly, rubbing the stallion's face around within her soft chest. "Does it excite you? Yes, floof it! YES!"

"Limestone, please!" Whooves exclaims, gasping for air. "Get a grip, madame!"

"Gladly."

Licking her lips seductively, Limestone wraps her arms around the doctor's neck, roughly pulling him into a sloppy yet tender kiss. The mare moans sweetly into his mouth as he struggles to break free from her vise-like grip. Soon, she releases him, the two breathing heavily against each other.

"Mmmm..." she sighs in delight. "You're one hell of a kisser."

"Mmph," Whooves gags, smacking his lips. "Is that salt?"

"I had rock soup earlier, do you like it?"

"Limestone, just relax here. You're not thinking straight."

"But you are the one, Whooves. You're the only one who sees the beauty inside me. Fate has brought us together, we belong together."

"Wait- AH!"

Whooves gasps in horror as the predator pins him down on his back against the squeaky bed, pouncing on top of him and cornering him between her hooves. She brushes her spiky hair to the side as she stares into his eyes with amorous intent.

Gazing upon her frightened prey, Limestone's hungry smirk shrivels into an embarrassed frown.

"What has gotten into me?"

"I pray to Celestia and the high heavens that it isn't me." Whooves wheezes.

The blushing mare leans off the doctor and sits up on the edge of the bed, squeezing a pillow in her arms nervously.

"Ugh, I'm sorry," she utters, burying her face against the pillow. "I'm not exactly good at this whole feel-ings thing."

"You seem to have gotten the affectionate side down pretty well." the doctor winces, sitting up next to her.

"Aren't I the catch? Throwing myself at the first stallion to compliment me, ain't that a bitch?"

"Don't fret, Limestone. It's not the end of the world."

"Sorry, I'm just hopeless, that's all."

"What if I can help you?"

"What, with love? I don't want to waste your time or-"

"I insist, Miss Pie. It's not right for a lady to be left feeling unwanted. Love only takes patience, compassion, trust and understanding, among many other factors. I will gladly guide you down the right road of radiant romance."

"Does that mean you'll marry me now?"

"Ah, let's put a pin in that one."

"Right, right. Patience..."

Limey's Lessons

"Now, a stallion holds a door open for you. What do you do?"

"Tell him to put a baby in me?"

"Oh, heavens no, silly mare. You say, 'Thank you', lass."

"Oh, um...thank you?"

Out on a grassy hill just by Ponyville Park, Whooves has set up an array of items reserved for giving his inexperienced company a crash course in the art of romance. There, as the rock farming pony sat at a table set up by her teacher, Whooves rustles through a bulky chest, returning to the set up carrying a fancy vase with a bright red rose.

"When chatting with a stallion," Whooves continues, guiding the mare to a chair across from him. "Try to keep it interesting, make them curious, be cheeky if you must. Share interesting things about you piece by piece. Go on, give it a shot."

"Hey, um, I know how to crack a guy's collarbone with just my teeth," Limestone states with a sneaky grin, resting back in her chair. "Wanna see?"

"Um, no thank you."

"I'm sorry, I'm not good at this kinda stuff. This flower has thorns, ya know. Not the most dainty in the garden."

"A flower nonetheless, you're not devoid of charm. I'm sure there'd be quite a few out there who would find your...eccentric quirks enchanting."

"As long as your name is paired up with me on the stone, I don't see myself with another stallion, so..."

"Hmph," Whooves ponders. "Fine then, let's move on to something more thoughtful: compliments!"

Limestone tilts her head curiously.

"You know...compliments!"

She remains silent.

"You have been complimented before, right?"

The mare shrugs.

"Dear...here, I'll give one right now," the doctor rests an elbow on the table. "You have such lovely eyes, I must say."

"Y-You really think so?"

"Of course, and quite a unique style for your mane. Not to mention your firm figure, and lovely smile."

"Oh, Whooves, TAKE ME NOW!"

"Wait, NO-"

Limestone pounces over the table, knocking over the vase as she wraps her legs around her "date", staring longingly into his eyes with a shaken breath.

Her hungry look eases up, as she shuffles back to her seat. "My bad, forgive me."

"No worries," Whooves sighed in relief, adjusting his tie. "Baby steps, least you restrained yourself..."

He paused looking up at his student, a sly and dreamy grin plastered across her face. "Limestone, if you will, please refrain from playing hoofsies with me."

She shifts back against her chair. "Can't help myself sometimes, heh. Let's see. You have a nice...color?"

"See, that's a good start, and thank you."

"Hee, um...I think your accent is kinda nice to listen to."

"I quite appreciate that."

"You have a slender form."

"Oh, you!"

"And some yummy lips..."

"Huh?"

"A nice and tight flank, too..."

"Limestone?"

"Shhhh..." the hungry mare stares deep into the concerned pony's glistening eyes, wiggling out of her chair and inching towards him. "Let's not forget such a smoochable neck, a tempting tail, and a firm bod that makes you look like an absolute beast ready to consensually ram my sweet flank over this table...KISS ME ALREADY, FOOL!"

Whooves dives off the chair just as Limestone lunges and pins the piece of furniture to the ground, smooching the air. While she recovers, the stallion reaches into the chest and fetches a thick silver chain. "I'm gonna have to take drastic precautions."

"H-Hey! What are-"

"Sorry, lass," he muffled, twisting and wrapping the chains in his teeth around her body, tying the ends of her trap with in a bow. "Mmm, your hormones are beyond raging and must be...contained!"

"This is NOT what I signed up for!"

"Not taking any chances."

"I'm gonna buck you so hard in the face when I get out of this! Then I'm gonna kiss you so damn good because I love you so bucking much, and..." Limestone relaxes in her restraints, a look of disbelief on her face. "Sweet Celestia, look at me!"

"See what I mean now?"

Limestone nods solemnly, resting her cheeks on the ground. "I want to be a good marefriend."

"You will be, you just got to remember self-control and common sense, and that starts with not getting randy with the first gentlecolt who gives you a compliment."

"Whatever you say."

"It's called tough love, sweetheart."

"Mmm, your love can get tough with me, handsome-"

Splash! a water balloon drenches the thirsty pony on the muzzle, choking her.

"Hey!" she coughed.

"Get too hot, I put out the fire."

"Hmm, so forceful...you're so-"

Splash!

"Bleh! Okay, I'll stop!"

"This going to be a loooong day."

Several lessons and water balloons later, Limey's session begins to wrap up as the sun begins to set upon the small town. Still in her restraints, her and Whooves rest underneath the hill's tree.

"It's your first date," Whooves states. "Who kisses who first?"

"My date."

"Where?"

"On the hoof."

"Politics?"

"Eww, gross."

"When do you take him home?"

"After the date!"

"Ah, I gotcha there, lass. Remember, this is your first date."

"Oh, buck!"

"It was a trick question, you're still doing exceptionally well, Miss Pie."

"Urgh, I could've got it better though!"

"Trust me, dear, you're doing fantastic.
Try to relax, find your happy place. What keeps you at ease?"

Flustered, Limestone lies against the tree, staring out at the setting sun. "Geodes, usually. They don't...judge me, y'know?"

"I understand, I do. For me, nothing rests my mind more than a good tinkering. Speaking of which, I've been meaning to test drive this experiment of mine."

Whooves retrieves an improved Passion Popper wiggling the device into the dirt before lighting the fuse. "This doodad, I made to give everypony a warm, fuzzy feeling during the holiday."

A moment later, the firecracker soars, exploding high up below the clouds in a spectacular aura of reds and pinks, raining a generous amount of glitter and confetti.

"Wow..." Limestone watches in awe.

"Is it safe to release you now?"

"I'm...I'm good now."

"Lovely."

Glitter continues to flutter, pop and swoop around in the air as the genius inventor unlocks the chains.

"I think your whatchamacallit is doing its job a little too well." the mare utters.

"Why do you say that?"

Limestone turns to the doctor with a dreamy gaze as he tugs the chains off completely, resting a hoof on his as she leans in close. "I'm feeling sooo warm inside right now."

"Uh, Limestone?" the stallion gulps, leaning backwards. "Limestone, what did we agree on about making out?"

"Make out? Sure!"

"No, Lime-"

The amorous mare tackles and wrestles the helpless pony all around the grassy hill, pinning him once again. Averting his eyes, he braces for a wave of salty kisses to soak his face. All was lost, all was-

"Mwah."

Limestone lightly pecks the stallion's cheek with a playful smile. "Gotcha!"

Rising to her hooves, the sneaky pony chuckles to herself. "You should've seen your fave on that one."

"Miss Pie, you're a frisky little filly," the doctor chuckled. "You gave me a scare there."

"Would a hug be too much though?"

"Of course not, madam."

Hooves held open, the compassionate doctor's invitation for a cuddle party brought a faint blush to the shy mare's face as she curls up beside him, nuzzling her cheek against his chest.

"That good?" he asks.

"Mmm, real good." she sighs peacefully.

Bonding Boulders

"It's, um...rather salty, I must say. Very salty."

"I know, that's what makes it good! Who doesn't like salt?"

"Snails, slugs..."

"Ha ha ha."

Hearts & Hooves Day. Finally here.

Love was certainly soaring in the air. Flower shops cleaned out of flowers, cheesy candies collected and cards confiscated, the holiday was in full swing.

Back at the town's market plaza with his fireworks display, Whooves and Limestone exchange exquisite tastes with their favorite respective foods. Recovering from the tongue torturing saltiness of the rock farm pony's "Stone Surprise", the stallion slumps back as Limestone looks over a plate of his favorite brand of crumpets.

"Mmm," the mare mumbled with a curious frown. "I dunno, a bit dry really. Could use a little something. Maybe, hmm..."

"I'm going to assume a rock?"

"Honey. Honey would really give it that kick."

"Oh? Honey, you say?"

Limestone nudges the stallion. "Heh, I'm not always plopping rocks in every dish, you know."

A brief ponder later, Whooves retrieves a tiny orange bottle and drops a dollop of rich honey upon a crumpet, earning an amused head tilt from the mare. "You carry a vial of honey with you everywhere?" she asks.

"Hmm hmm," the doctor licks his lips, pleased. "Never know when you might need honey, dear. Some hosts forget to have any for tea. Mmm, this is delectable!"

"When you're the older sister of a bonkers baker, you pick up a few things."

"The stone doesn't fall far from the mountain, eh?"

"I see what you did there."

THONK! a hard thud hit the stand's sign.

"Hey, Derpy." Limestone waves.

"Heyyy, you two!" the pegasus slurs playfully, rubbing her forehead. "Happy H&H Day!"

"And to you as well, Miss Hooves." Whooves nods.

"Hee, any plans today?"

"Miss Pie and I are just selling fireworks for the time being. Yourself?"

"I have a date!"

"A date with a—"

"Muffin!" the silly mare slaps a lumpy muffin against her forehead, it's fluffy contents crumbling down her loopy eyes as she flutters away.

"Hehe, blind date." Limestone snickers.

"Good one." the inventor smirks.

"What do you usually do on this day?"

"Tinkering here, a little doodad-ing there, like any other day."

"Ever had that special somepony?"

"Afraid not, lass. I contribute to the holiday, sure, but never really partook in the festivities outside the occasional complimentary box of chocolates."

"Same here, minus the chocolate. I'd just spend my time with the punching slab."

"Sounds lonely."

"Welp, we shouldn't mope about it today. We should treat ourselves for once."

"You think so?"

"I insist. That ball-throwing game by the fountain is tempting me and I need to put my rock-hurling skills to the test."

"Well, I suppose we could. At least give me until I sell all these fireworks, then we'll go. Got about a crate or two left of the stuff."

"Great! Lemme get some things from your place, and I'll be back."

"Roger."

The day eases into the balmy afternoon. After closing up shop, Whooves waited by the fountain for his stoic companion to appear. Hours have passed since Limestone took off. Through the sea of boo'd-up couples, he spots the noticeably dull grey coat of a mare among the colorful crowd strolling his way. However, this mare had a bit more color to the face, wearing a fair amount of radiant makeup. Her hair was less spiky and more flowing and free, topping it off with an adorable purple bow atop her mane.

It can't be, the doctor thought.

"Good day, doctor," the mare uttered, scuffing her hoof against the dirt with a nervous crooked grin. "How do I look?"

"Miss Pie?" Whooves responded, jaw hanging. "You...look stunning. Very stunning."

"Thank you, I wanted to look my best for the occasion. Don't normally wear this kinda stuff. Takes too much time, but for you, it's worth it."

"Aww, you didn't have to for silly old me. You look lovely regardless."

"Enough of us being flirty birdies, let's have fun!"

"Yes, of course."

Thus began a pleasant, jolly good time for the platonic pony pair—eating, laughing at cringe-worthy heart candies, jokingly passing each other lovey-dovey trinkets both would forget about within a day or two, and receiving a bill to repair the hole Limestone tore through a throwing game's velvety tent. Luckily, the past frequently destructive—and expensive—antics of a certain ditzy dame made the doctor numb to the charge.

Eventually, they concluded their fun-filled evening with a gentle ride on the Third-Wheel ferris wheel, the rowdy rock farmer happily cuddling a life-sized teddy bear she may or may not have swiped from the tent. The ride kept the two in a steady cycle as they overlook the peaceful town cascaded in the sunset's inviting glow.

"I never realized how beautiful Ponyville looked," Limestone smiled. "Hell, compared to the farm, any place looks more alive."

"Except maybe Tartarus." Whooves shrugged.

"Debatable...?"

"Any place could have its charm, silly filly. And if it looks rough, only you could give it some unique color."

"Pinkie's usually the one bringing the color in the family. All I bring is more gray. Or, sometimes, a very very dark gray."

"You can bring color to your life, too, as well as your family."

"I dunno, are you sure?"

The stallion lightly turned the mare's gaze up toward his, greeting her with a warm smile. "I'm positively positive, sweetheart."

"Sweetheart?" Limestone blushed with a cheeky smirk. "My first pet name. You sly, sly dog."

"I-I was only saying...I-I mean, I could call you something else if that makes you—"

Limestone tapped the flustered inventor on the shoulder, laughing hysterically. "I'm toying with you, goofball!"

"Ah, I see that I'm an easy target to mess with."

"D'aww, don't say that. I think you're quite a catch."

The stallion sheepishly looked over the railing, away from his company. "Oh, you're just being nice."

"I mean it, you're the sweetest guy I've ever met. In these few days alone, you've made me feel like I belong. Like I'm not some cold waste of space. I know I could be a...piece of work, but I can be good, too. I want to be good. I don't know what it is, but you just bring the best out of me. You're smart, silly, handsome...so handsome. No matter the outcome, I'm happy the stone brought you into my life."

A cozy warmth had spread across the touched inventor's chest, his lips tumbled over itself as he attempted to find the words. "Limestone, I..."

Suddenly, a flimsy fishing pole flickers out the center of Limestone's purple bow, dangling a lone piece of a peculiar set of green leaves between the two ponies.

"Augh, Pinkie!" the mare buried her face between her hooves. "Never accept outfits from that clown."

"Is that what I think it is?" Whooves asked.

"Yep. Mistletoe."

"I see..."

"I'm so sorry, my dork sister always makes things difficult for all of us sometimes."

"No harm done, no worries. Though...I suppose we should follow through."

"What? With the kiss?"

"I'm a strong follower of certain traditions and/or superstitions. When you're under a mistletoe, you must smooch the closest one to you."

"Okay," Limestone quickly planted a peck on her stuffed bear's fuzzy brown cheek. "Done."

"It's okay, I don't mind one in this scenario. Just an innocent little kiss."

"You sure?"

Whooves scooted close by the pony's hip and cupped her chin, their lips an inch apart. Limestone held her breath as her friendly date finally plastered a long, consensual kiss upon her, fireworks exploding bright across the night sky. A soft moan escaped them both before they break the mouth action.

"Hmm," Whooves smacked his lips. "Is that blueberry?"

"Was the only flavored lipstick available. I'm sure it beats the delightful taste of rock salt."

"It's nice. I like it."

Faces burning more and more bright, the couple remained lost in each other's eyes. Soon, Limestone sat her bear aside, a playful pout formed on her face . "You wanna kiss me again?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I mean, the mistletoe is still up, so..."

Whooves chuckled, staring into the mare's half-lidded eyes. "It appears it is."

The two locked gazes, inching closer once more.

"Again, an innocent kiss wouldn't hurt."

"Mmhmm..." Limestone hummed as she leaned further, lips puckered.

"I-It's only tradition."

"Mmhmmmmm..."

"Just another simple harmless—"

"Shut up and gimme some already!"

The stallion melted like butter as his date wrapped a caressing hoof behind his head, the resumed kiss now beaming with pure passion. The metal gondola rocked slightly as Limestone eased her way atop Whooves' lap, mistletoe dangling wildly between them.

"Happy Hearts & Hooves Day," she huffed under shaky breath, kissing deeper. "Mmm..."

"Happy Hearts & Hooves Day." Whooves hummed.