Pinkie Pie shifted in her sleep, outstretching her hoof on instinct to make sure the blue pegasus was still asleep at her side. When it found nothing but air, it was enough of a shock to jolt the party pony awake. She sat up, panicked for a moment at Rainbow’s absence, but relaxed when she saw a faint light coming from under the door. The clock on the wall indicated that it was 4 in the morning, well before the time Dashie should have been awake, especially considering the fact that she was never much of a “morning pony”. With a yawn, Pinkie lazily dragged her hooves out from under her warm blanket cocoon to the cold wooden floor. She blew a straightened piece of mane from her eyes as she sluggishly descended the steps towards the door. She put her hoof to the doorknob and sucked in a breath, moments from softly calling out Rainbow’s name, when she heard her marefriend’s unmistakable panic.
“Shit shit shit!”
Pinkie’s ears perked up as she briskly turned the handle and trotted down the hallway, past the rooms of Mr. and Mrs. Cake and their twins. Attempting to stay quiet while in an uncertain state of panic was difficult for Pinkie, but she knew better than to make a scene at that hour. The closer she got to Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen and shop, the more she could smell the unmistakable scent of burnt pastries. She rounded the final corner and gently pushed open the double doors into the kitchen to find Dash, who was a heap of frustration on the floor.
“Rainbow?”
Rainbow’s ears, that were once flat, shot up at once as she whirled around to face a confused-looking Pinkie Pie. On any other occasion, Pinkie might have chuckled seeing the pegasus looking so panicked and out of sorts. Rainbow was haphazardly wearing Pinkie’s apron, which did little to shield the rest of her from miscellaneous confection ingredients and what appeared to be chunks of smashed fruit. The tips of her front hooves looked a little seared as they clutched a strange burnt lump of whatever disaster she had been attempting to make. Dash quickly moved in front of the upside-down pie tin on the floor with the remainder of the burnt mush.
“P-Pinkie! What are you doing up?” Dash reprimanded, her expression teetering between firm and panicked.
“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Pinkie said, approaching Rainbow and inspecting the burnt ends of her hooves. “Did you try to take something out of the oven without oven mitts again?” she asked in exasperation.
“I… I forgot. I was busy trying to see if I could make this other one work, just in case, and I… Well, I’ll clean it in a jiff. Go back to bed!” Rainbow replied, her words came out so rapid and jumbled that it took Pinkie a moment to fully understand everything she had just said. It was then that Pinkie noticed the dark circles under Dash’s eyes and the slight tremor to her movements.
“You didn’t sleep?” Pinkie asked, her tone hushed. “Is… it my fault?”
“No! No you didn’t do anything wrong! I tried to, but... I just couldn’t. I stayed with you while you... cried yourself to sleep, and I couldn’t just do nothing. So I thought ‘what would Pinkie do to cheer me up if I needed it’ and, well…”
Dash extended out her hoof to show the carnage that was once the kitchen. Dash had singlehoofedly managed to decimate it in one night, a feat that even Pinkie couldn’t claim. Pinkie wasn’t even sure what she was looking at as there were so many different cook books, ingredients, and half-made mushy ‘experiments’ to know what it was that she was attempting in the first place.
“Turns out baking pies is a lot harder than I thought. As if I needed another reason to hate them.” Dash grumbled, then saw Pinkie’s forlorn expression and quickly amended. “Not that YOUR pies are bad, in fact, now that I know how hard they are to make I might be a little less likely to give yours away.” she added with a soft chuckle.
“I don’t make you pies anymore, Dash.” Pinkie said, walking to the broom closet to fetch some cleaning supplies. The lack of any emotion in her response pierced Dash harder than she expected. She watched helplessly as her straight-maned marefriend started cleaning up her mess without so much as a pun, a jab at her baking attempt, or even a smile.
“Pinkie, stop. I’ll do that.” Dash said, taking the mop from Pinkie’s hoof in a flash.
“I don’t mind, Dashie.” Pinkie said, to which Dash smiled. At the very least, she was calling her ‘Dashie’ again. Before Pinkie could take another step, Dash swept her off her hooves and planted her at the kitchen counter. In a streak of rainbow, the kitchen was swept, mopped, and rubbed down to glistening perfection. A single cupcake also appeared in front of Pinkie as Dash settled into the stool beside her, looking more disheveled than before.
“I can clean up pretty fast when I put my mind to it. Don’t tell that to Twilight or Applejack, though. It drives them insane seeing how long I take to clean up my house.” Rainbow said with another encouraging chuckle.
Pinkie didn’t respond. Her face was resting on the counter as she looked blankly at the cupcake in front of her. Dash’s cheerful demeanor melted again as she scooted closer, putting her hooves around her and holding her tightly.
“What can I do? Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” Rainbow whispered in her ear, choking back the emotion threatening to pour over.
Pinkie sighed and resigned herself to Dash’s hug, burying her head in Rainbow’s chest fluff and letting out silent sob. Rainbow just held her, stroking her mane and wishing there was more she could say or do. After a few minutes, Pinkie wiped the excess tears from her eyes and looked up at Rainbow’s worried expression.
“Wh-what pie were you trying to make? Maybe I can help you.” Pinkie said, purposefully changing the subject.
“Uh… heh… well, I know you have a lot of different favorites, so I was trying to figure out a way of making a half-chocolate half-strawberry pie. Although I did try half-apple and half-peach, but that one just fused into a mush.”
“Why halves?” Pinkie asked, confused.
“Well… when you found out yesterday that you have Bi Polar disorder, I thought… I’d make you a ‘Pie Polar dessert’ because you love pies and puns so much.” Dash answered meekly.
Pinkie stared at Dash incredulously for a moment before a smile broke out on her face. Slowly, the tips of her mane and tail recoiled back to their usual curl as Pinkie let out a laugh. She laughed so hard and so long that Dash couldn't help but laugh along with her. When they could finally catch their breath, Pinkie surprised Dash with another strong hug.
“What would I do without you, Dashie?” She whispered gratefully to her. Rainbow puffed up her chest a little, but deflated again with Pinkie’s downcast look.
“This isn’t a bad thing, Pinks.” Dashie said in a whisper, lifting Pinkie’s chin so she could meet her gaze. “Now that they know what it is… they can help you!”
Pinkie’s lip quivered as the thoughts she’d been keeping at bay burst forth like a broken dam.
“But... this means I’m broken, Dashie. I’m b-broken and there’s no cure, I have to live this way forever! Not only that, now YOU have to live with me this way forever too! Constantly looking for my ups and downs and having to navigate my--”
Dashie put her hoof to Pinkie’s mouth to stop her spiral.
“Pinkie, I knew exactly what I was getting into. Life with you is never a dull moment, and that’s one of the things I love about you! I love the fact that you’re unpredictable, and that you feel things more intensely than everypony else! All this will change is your ability to understand yourself, be able to mitigate the lows so that they aren’t so bad...”
“But then my highs won’t be as high! What if these meds make me so numb that I walk around without any kind of emotion AT ALL?”
“Like Maud?”
“What do you mean?”
“Nevermind. Pinkie, nothing in this world can take your high energy and happiness from you, not a silly little pill, not me, not even you. But maybe this will prevent you from going on sugar benders so crazy that you end up in Las Pegasus, wearing Applejack’s hat on backwards, with Rarity’s newly severed tail in your mouth and no memory of how that happened.”
“Oh yeah… hahaha… that was a biiiiit alarming.”
“Ya think?”
Dash asked with a laugh, tackling her marefriend to the ground and kissing her repeatedly all over her face. Pinkie snorted and giggled, not trying too hard to fend off Dash’s kisses. This time it was Pinkie who waited until Dash was distracted to connect their lips in a kiss. The pair melted into the moment, reveling in how perfectly imperfect it was.
“Besides, you got me! I’ll always be here to reign you back, or encourage you to go farther; depending on the circumstance.” Dash said, climbing off Pinkie and trying in vain to dust some of the flour splotches from her coat. Pinkie bounced up from the floor and wrapped her hooves around Dash, burying her face in her mane.
“Ditto.” Pinkie whispered, tears of joy streaking her cheeks.
Pinkie knew her life would be forever changed, but as long as she had her Dashie, she could face whatever it had to throw at her. Now, what was that about Maud?
Author's Note
This story was inspired by true events, actually. I was personally diagnosed with Bipolar (which is part of the reason I feel like such a real life Pinkie Pie) and when I found out I was absolutely DISTRAUGHT about it! Especially when I learned that the medication was technically an anti-psychotic. I felt ashamed, worried, and distraught; I was super lucky to have friends and family comfort me. A year or so later I told my best friend TheLostNarrator about it, still kind of ashamed, and she told me exactly what Dash says in the fic. That's just one of the many reasons I married her <3
