So Anon wasn’t happy. It was clear to see why. Here he is, in those stupid jean pants she says she likes, a nice candle-lit dinner he made himself, and a suit he wants to commit suicide in. And now that stupid blue Pegasus is late.
One job. Get here at 9. That’s all you had to do. No Rainbow, I don’t need extra cookies, it's dinner. No, I have wine. Oh, you don’t like wine? THEN WHY DID YOU FUCKING ASK?
Anon took a deep breath. God forbid he ever gets angry, a multi-colored pony fuck would come out of nowhere from the bushes and say how anger isn’t the way, and kindness makes the world go round.
He checked his watch. 9:07. Huzzah. 7 minutes late. She always outdoes herself. What is she doing right now? Possibly freaking out? Nah. Most likely she forgot.
“Oh.”
That realization hit him like a ton of bricks. She forgot, didn’t she? Small-minded dick, she forgot. She forgot. Ohhhh, nobody denies Mr Green Cooks's invitation! He was going to give her a piece of his-
Knock knock knock.
Oh. She really was just running late. Or flying late. After a year, Anon decided to give up on pony proverbs. They were annoying and unnecessary. The only thing is that the ponies in this town fuck with him. Whenever he says “anyone”, they always go, “Who?” Then they giggle. Oh, the giggles. Anon would pay 50 bucks, or bits, whatever, for a regular laugh.
“Hey, I’m waiting here.”
Anon seethed. The nerve. Ooh, she was going to get it! Come here late, with that attitude? Not with this guy's info-
“Hi, Rainbow! I’m so happy you can come!”
...god fucking dammit.
“Hey Anon, what’s up? I brought you cookies!”
Anon's smile wavered. “Ok, but, the funny thing is that, well, I said no cookies.”
Rainbow made herself at home in the comfy...uh, home. She sat down on the red couch in his living room, not the seat in front of the table.
“Ehhh, well, cookies are good.”
Anon stared down at the tray of sugar cookies in his hands. They were burnt. They were. Fucking. Burnt.
“Yeah, when they're not burned.”
Rainbow shot a glance over to Anon. “They're not though.”
“Yes, they are!”
“Ok, why are you being a dick?”
“It’s a fucking dinner Rainbow! A dinner! You not supposed to bring cookies to a FUCKING DINNER!”
“But like, it’s food, so…”
Anon placed the cookie tray on the kitchen counter, not caring if the cookies fell. They didn’t, but he already didn’t care if they did. They didn’t though, but still.
“Why are you even late?”
She pointed at her mane as she lay down on the couch. “Had to get myself ready.”
Anon stared at the mane. It was just a mane. Yeah, it was a rainbow one, but it wasn’t overly neat. Neither were her wings. They weren’t messy but they were normal. It looked like she only combed herself.
“You look like you only combed.” What he said.
Rainbow nodded while rubbing her chin across the couch. “Yeah.”
“...”
“Are you gonna stand at the doorway?”
“Dash, you didn’t even wear anything.”
“So? I never do.”
“Yeah, but like, I made dinner and everything. And you still didn’t tell me why you're late.”
Rainbow sat up. “Uh, I actually did.”
“Combing ain’t that much work Dash.”
“I brushed my teeth, took a shower, and then combed my mane.”
“When did you do that?”
Rainbow shrugged. “I don’t know, 10 minutes before I left.”
Anon slapped his head. “Oh, your fucking ridiculous.”
After a few seconds, Rainbow bore a devilish smile, getting an idea. Rainbow always wanted to try this and it seems like a golden opportunity. “Well, am I a bad girl?”
Silence
“No, you're just a dick.”
Rainbow patted the couch cushion. “Don’t you have one?”
Anon looked at his girlfriend. Or marefriend. Who fucking knows. She only became that two days ago. You know, when you're in a new land, ideas like beastiality kind of melts away. Because your hand only has so much character, and there’s no internet up here. Hell it ain’t even a thing. Plus, Rainbow was basically Anon's type back on Earth. Sassy, fit, a classic bad bitch. She was also funny, ditzy at moments, and very entertaining while having a soft side. He remembered her confiding in him about being afraid she wouldn’t make the Wonderbolts. The only difference is that she’s a pony. Yeah, it’s a pretty big ass difference, but honestly, Anon didn’t care anymore. He took one last look at his spaghetti, thought fuck it, and grumbled over next to Rainbow, who was still smiling.
They sat there for a minute. Well, she mostly fidgeted and smiled waiting for Anon to say something. He wasn’t going to because he’s a bitch. That’s her motto. If you don’t agree I don’t like you. It works.
“Anon, cmon, you gotta get into it.”
“I made the fucking spaghetti.”
“Yeah, well you came here to the couch.”
“I want to eat spaghetti.”
“Oh please. You got some meatballs here, right?”
“...you're vegetarian.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “That’s not the point.”
“Oh, ok.”
Rainbow cleared her throat. “So, was I a bad girl for being late?”
“Yes.”
“Can I make it up for you?”
“Rainbow this is our first date. Eat my spaghetti.”
“That sounds sexual.”
“In this position, anything does. Like this. Want to play baseball?”
“Is that a testicle joke?”
“I arrest my case.”
“Oh my-” Rainbow got down on her knees, and scooted over in front of Anon. “Yes, ok? I know what I’m doing.”
“Yeah, but it’s the first date.”
“So?”
“You're not supposed to fuck on the first date?”
“Well, fuck you, because that’s what I’m going to do. Ok?”
Anon shrugged. He did come over to the couch. “Fine.”
Rainbow cocked an eyebrow. (See what I did there?). “I mean, I want to do this, but you don’t seem panicked you're going to have sex with a pony.”
Anon shrugged. “Systematic desensitization.”
“I-“
“I’m used to it and also very horny.” He thought for a minute. “Also, hungry. For spaghetti.”
“Ok but like, I thought you were going to be like, ‘No, oh my, Rainbow, are you sure?’ Stuff like that.”
“That was a pispoor impression of me, I hope you know that.”
“Ok ok, fine. Shut up.” With ferociousness, she pulled Anon's pants down. Hanging down was Little Anon, half erect. She wasn’t too surprised by its green color. When he first came here, Twilight said some nerdy shit, one thing about how two universes can’t handle shit and whatever. She wasn’t listening, I mean, cmon. But she did remember her saying he was green with a giant fucking question mark on his head because the universe couldn’t deduce what he was. So he was unfamiliar. Makes sense. So the fact his dick was green was just a cool tidbit. Hey, you know Anon's cock is green? No, I didn’t know that. Yeah, the more you know.
“So,” Rainbow said with a smile, “I didn’t know it was this big.”
Anon shrugged. “Yeah, it’s fine.”
Rainbow lolled her tongue out of her mouth. “I wonder if it tastes as good as it looks.”
“Bet you it won’t taste as good as the spaghetti I made.”
Rainbow glared daggers at Anon, our fine green friend. “Will you get off that?”
Anon looked at his recent marefriend with disgust. “No. I won’t. I spent the day chopping up tomatoes getting water, and then getting basil. All of that’s a chore because I have to go to the market and it’s like ‘Buy One Get Two Free” which makes no sense because it’s a single basil leave why the fuck would I buy singular but guess what? I fucking got the deal, then the tomatoes, is swear. It shouldn’t be so expensive to get a tomato. Haggling? Bitch, just let me pay a definitive amount for my fresh produce! Then I have to-oh my fucking god what are you doing?”
What Rainbow was doing was clamping her lips down in Anon's dick. She rested it halfway down his shaft, and it stayed there for seconds while Anon rambled about the inner machinations of the universe. She then began to use her tongue to dance upon his tiny head, and that shut Anon up after a short gasp. Dash put her hooves on either side of Anon and bent the cock back by a little to look Anon in the eyes. She then ceased her licking after it was fully erect. It didn’t go into her throat yet but was at the point where it was ready to descend. Usually, Rainbow found the huge horse ducks annoying because she never could get down, or even halfway. But this was her perfect size. She tried to do her best smile while the green sausage, hot and spicy, was lodged in her mouth. Then, without warning, she descended.
Anon felt the warm embrace of the throat and felt Dash forcibly opening it up so he could go inside. She then came up, only halfway, then back down, her muzzle touching his stomach. Her tongue lapped out of her mouth, tickling his meatballs, lathering them in sauce. If you're going to do Italian food puns, you might as well go all the way. Back up, then down. Up then down. Her speed began to increase, but she still somehow kept herself steady, as her eyes stayed on Anons.
After 2 minutes if of constant sucking, Rainbow came off the cock with a satisfying pop. Without a word, she then moved down to his balls and began to gingerly lick at them as if they were an ice cream cone. The balls, and the whole cock at that, were bare, allowing Rainbow to go in deep without getting stabbed by rigid hairs.
“Holy fuck Rainbow, you're good at this.”
She smiled, but only that. She came up only to defend the duck again. Her eyes twinkled as she bobbed her head up and down. After another minute…
“I’m about to cum Dash.”
She nodded, not leaving the dick, and in 15 seconds, the Pearly Gates opened up. Liquid dream killer shot itself down Dashe's throat, and she settled herself down the middle of the shaft to successfully drink the milk. It was a full minute before Anon ran dry and Rainbow popped her mouth off of Anon's dick. She then made herself sit down among her boyfriend, who was lying back, eyes dazed, his pants not even pulled up, panting.
“Ok, well...that was fucking amazing.”
“Should have had cookies with that milk.”
“Well, oh shit, my breath. Well, we should have spaghetti first.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes again. She found herself doing that a lot today. “Wasn’t this better than spaghetti?”
Anon shrugged. “There are very few things that can beat a good classic tomato sauce made from scratch.”
“Anon-“
“But…” Anon held a finger up amidst his panting. “That’s one of them.”
Rainbow smiled, biting her lip, as she leaned over. She pulled Anon's pants back up, and rested her head on his thighs, closing her eyes as she lay there, dreaming.
They were silent until after a few minutes Anon cleared his throat.
“...so can we have the spaghetti now?”
“...sure.”
