Hulkuestria

by ShamrocknRoll

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Other, Queen Chrysalis, Adventure, Discord, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2138

What if Hulk landed on Equestria in Planet Hulk?

A rewriting of an old story: with help from Zachthebrony

A What If about if Hulk landed in Equestria instead of Planet Hulk. For those not familiar with Planet Hulk. Its when Reed Richards, Namor the Sub-Mariner, Tony Stark, Professor Charles Xavier, Doctor Steven Strange and Black Bolt decide to launch the Hulk into space and Hulk lands on a planet. No spoilers. In this story, Hulk/Bruce Banner lands in Equestria and collapses from hunger. He is nursed back to health by Princess Luna on the day before Shining Armour and Cadance get married. Bruce and Luna realize they have a lot more in common than just a pulse. When Queen Chrysalis crashes the wedding, Hulk helps the Mane 6 in the battle. That is if Hulk doesn't destroy all of Equestria first. Also why is there chocolate milk seeping through the pictures?

As a Disclaimer: I do not own Bruce Banner or any other bipedal characters in this story. They are owned by Marvel Comics and Stan Lee

Published 2012-09-07 13:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-25 18:45:14 UTC

Crashlanding and Recovery

Bruce Banner crawled out of his escape pod. He realized what happened, the Illuminati voted to send him to outer space so he will no longer threaten earth. Because he was the Hulk. He was expecting a war-torn world, something post-apocalyptic so Hulk couldn't destroy it as it was already devastated. Much to Bruce's surprise, he was in a forest of pastel colors and wildlife. This can't be good I can't handle this. Bruce thought as he started to walk towards something that looked to him as artificial light. He was hungry, thirsty and very on edge of hulking out. For he still resented the friends he knew betrayed him; Professor Charles Xavier, Doctor Steven Strange, Reed Richards, Namor the Sub-Mariner and most of all Tony Stark also called Iron Man. They all tricked him into being launched into space. With a vision of his one true friend, Rick Jones flashing in in his mind. Bruce collapsed from exhaustion.

Princess Luna cantered along the forest, she just raised the full moon and wanted to feel the ground beneath her hooves for she went back to Canterlot. Unlike Celestia who embraced the life of royalty, the banishment Luna faced to the moon made Luna realize that Equestria had its quaint pleasures. Especially Ponyville. However, the Everfree Forest is when she felt free to be herself. Free from Celestia always reprimanding her for not being a true co-regent or kept bringing up Nightmare Moon. A part of her life she repressed and tried to put behind her. Every time she tried to, Celestia brought it back. She even brought it up on today, the day Shining Armour would be marrying Princess Cadance. She remembered on the last Nightmare Night how she was viewed as a monster and even with Twilight Sparkle and her friends' help. They still didn't know what it was like to have voice in their head always gnawing away at her. Demanding to be let out to “play”, and in the voice's mind playing meant to find happiness scaring ponies as well as harming them. This affected her so much sometimes she only partially lifted the moon into sky (ponies called this a gibbous, half or crescent depending on how diligent she was), and sometimes she even decided not lift it at all (ponies called this a new moon). Her speed slowed down as laid in the grass. Gathering her thoughts wondering if she was the only pony that had to struggle with this identity crisis. She knew even her excessive decorum and archaic method of speech was just a front to an insecure pony that was torn between wanting to be left alone and just having a true friend one who would understand her. Luna wished she had someone to talk to.

You're a broken mare. You're still the monster that I am. The voice of Nightmare Moon whispered to Luna. A shiver went up her spine, Luna knew her depression as growing. Sadness and guilt fueled Luna's bitterness and in turn empowered Nightmare Moon. She knew what happened when she was bitter and she deserved it. She had to buck up. She suddenly sensed life force, four individuals. Faint but they were definitely there. She galloped towards the life force. It could be anything from a playmate for Luna to someone she could help. In fact maybe it could be a pony that Luna could bring for her date to the wedding. She broke to a halt when she saw an alien, something non-pony. The thing was most likely male (but Luna politely didn't check), he had only two legs and two odd looking appendages. He had no hair, but he did have flesh on his body. His mane was brown and his eyes were green. He was scrawny and wore purple pants, a rumpled shirt and glasses. Despite being desheveled he appeared to be in good health.

“This thing is no pony.” Luna told herself. “It's an alien. Technically 4 aliens.” Luna said as she double-checked her life force detection magic. The being was also generating a strange type of energy she never saw before. “Odd, yet fascinating.” Luna levitated the alien onto her back. “We will bring you back to Canterlot to bring you back to health.” With that, Luna flew back to Canterlot Castle. On her way back home, she wondered about the thing she picked up. What was it? Why was it here? Can he dance? How will Celestia react? Why did he appear 4 times on her life force scanner? The questions kept on popping up. All were fascinating and she wondered what this alien was alike when he is awake? She was soon at Canterlot and went to her bedchambers. She trotted back and forth trying to think what to do to do with this alien. She tucked him into bed and placed some chicken soup onto a table for him. Luna was very nervous, she was not a socially adept pony like her sister. Luna had no idea what to do. What if this alien didn't want to dance with her?

“Luna, Rarity wants your final measurements for the gown she is making for you.” Celestia called. Luna blushed. She didn't tell Celestia she was bringing home a date, yet alone an alien.

“Ok, hang on. I need to power my nose.” Luna chuckled. “That is the best bluff.” She whispered as she levitated a quill to write a letter to her alien date. “Ok so how shall I sign it?” She asked herself. “I don't want to sound pretentious but I can't play coy either. Especially if I am not here when he wakes up.”

“LUNA!” Celestia yelled. “We need you now.”

“Coming now.” Luna grumbled. She trotted over to Rarity's dress room reluctantly. “I have another request. It is rather... odd but I would like it to be fullfilled.”

“Say it and its done.” Rarity said smiling in anticipation as she levitated her needle.

“Can you, um... make a suit for my date.” Luna blushed.

“Yes I can, what are his measurements?” Rarity asked as she licked her needle. “I am very happy you have a date for the wedding. It's very cute I think.” Celestia sneered at Luna.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Celestia asked. Luna hung her head. “Don't you trust me to approve your choice?”

“Honestly I don't.” Luna said. She paused, shaking in almost fear and then galloped away.

Bruce's first friend

Author's Note: I apologize for the tardiness on the update. My father almost died. Which affected the time. I hope you enjoy what has become my favorite story I have written in a long time.

“Luna, I didn't meant to hurt her feelings.” Celestia sighed to Rarity. “What is wrong with her?”

“Little sisters are usually emotional Your Majesty.” Rarity answered as she trotted close to Celestia. “I know, I have one. I suggest you confront her about it. She probably has deep-rooted issues that you just don't know about.”

“You are right Rarity, however. Finding Luna in Canterlot Castle is like finding a needle in a haystack. As a filly she was always hiding.” Celestia replied. “Even when we weren't playing Hide-and-seek.”

“Should I get her?” Rarity asked.

“No, if she has an issue with me I have to find her.” Celestia said as she trotted out the door. “Especially in time for the royal wedding. Focus on her date's tuxedo. Then you can meet up with your friends.”

Luna ran into the guest bedroom. She knew Celestia wasn't a bad pony, nor did she intend to hurt her. Luna has always been the overshadowed sister, this gave Luna a severe inferiority complex. Her shift into Nightmare Moon was a gradual metamorphisis that began back when she was a filly. Celestia was almost always the sister who did well in everything. Luna was the afterthought of their parents. Luna wasn't abused for all intents and purposes, just ignored. When Luna was in charge of the moon, and being ignored by all of ponykind was the straw that broke the pony's back and you get Nightmare Moon and 1000 years banished to the moon. She knew Shining Armor and Cadance were getting married, but she knew she had to get her date ready and that was hard, especially since he didn't even know about Luna. She trotted towards her own dressing room and started to get dressed. She looked at the mirror and there was the inner evil of herself. Nightmare Moon.

Hello there Monster. She hissed at Luna. Luna whinnied and bucked at the mirror shattering it to pieces. She looked around the room, all reflective surfaces had that face. The visage of the part of her that ruined everything for her for a millenium. Luna shivered in fear, why was this side of her surfacing now? She looked around at the portraits of her family, she realized they were weeping chocolate milk.

“What are you doing?” Luna demanded to her former self.

Arranging some décor for a friend and mentor. Nightmare Moon cackled. Who will be here shortly. Luna bit her lip, she had no idea what this meant. However, she knew she had to meet up with Bruce.

Bruce woke up. He was trapped, but not by the military. He was in a bedroom with chicken soup placed on a tray above him. The bedroom wasn't like a jail cell, it was pink and purple almost like a tutu. There were many moon motifs around the room. Bruce started to politely eat the soup. He wasn't afraid, just confused. There was a knock at the door, that made him more nervous.

“Just breathe Bruce.” He told himself as he breathed. “This isn't a jail.” The door opened, in came a gray pegasus with walleyed eyes. It had a basket of muffins in its mouth. Bruce blinked. “Definately not a jail.”

“Muffins!” The pegasus yelled as she smiled. Bruce jumped. She lifted her right front leg to check some scribbled writiong on it. “For, Luna's Cute Alien Date Male.” Bruce scratched his head. “Oh sorry, I am Ditzy Doo. Equestria's number one shipper of well, anything. I specialize in baked goods though.”

“I am lost.” Bruce told Ditzy.

“Oh, Princess Luna has placed a note next to your soup about what happened and what she has planned for the two of you.” Ditzy walked over and showed Bruce the note. Bruce began to read it:

Dear Mr. Handsome Alien,

I am Princess Luna Artemis Hecate. Princess of the Night of the world of Equestria. You appeared to have crash landed here. I have taken care of you and would like to ask you out to my friend's wedding as my mate, I mean breeding stallion.... date. You should head to the hoof of the castle. I will meet you when I am done raising the moon.

Sincerely your friend,

Luna

Bruce raised an eyebrow. This day kept getting weirder and weirder. “So what's your name?” Ditsy asked.

“Dr. Bruce Banner.” Bruce answered. “So did Luna send you to give me these... muffins?”

“Yep made them myself with my loyal daughter.” Ditsy said as she handed Bruce a photo of her and a small gray unicorn. Playing in a playground. “Her name's Dinky and my pride and joy.” Ditsy smiled. “Do you have any kids Dr. Banner?”

“No sadly, my wife Betty was killed by my nemesis, a monster named Emil Blonsky.” Bruce said as his head hung low. Ditsy hugged Bruce, the hospitality that this world's inhabitants was a very refreshing change from being on the run on earth.

“There there, I hope you have friends and family to help you.” Ditsy said. “I myself am a widow. So I know how it feels.”

“Well I do have my cousin Jennifer.” Bruce said handing Ditsy a photograph of his cousin. Before the blood transfusion he gave her. “She is back on my planet, she is alive however. Sadly I have no friends here.”

“Well Dr. Banner, you have one now in me.” Ditsy said. “You might make some more, who knows? Now go down to the hoof of the castle Mister and be happy.” Whether it was Ditsy mother instincts kicking in or because she was right. Bruce had to make friends, despite the fact he was the Hulk. He did in the Pantheon, he did it in the Avengers and he even managed with the Defenders. It could be done. With Ditsy pointing to the door. Bruce walked out, swallowing in nervousness.

Writer's Block: On Hiatus

What's happening bronies. Sadly my writer's block is getting to me with this story. Bruce is harder to write for than I thought. Don't worry I haven't given up.

Take care and Brohoof each other.