Literally, Sweetie Belle wanted this to become canon with this cannon she set up. Currently, she was waiting for the other crusaders to arrive in order to hear the plan she set up. She was sure everything was ready. Clear skies, cannon to shoot directly into the pond, traditional stance practiced, and picnic basket placed behind the tree. Now to explain her plan, seeing Scootaloo and Apple Bloom walking towards her.
“I want to date Rainbow Dash,” Sweetie calmly stated.
The other two crusaders had different reactions to the comment. Both were confused initially. Apple Bloom’s face then slowly shifted from happy to ecstatic.
“You’ve got a crush on Rainbow Dash?!” Apple Bloom yelled, before bombarding her with questions.
“Have you told her? How long have you been pining after her? You’re a lesbian? When’s the wedding?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Um… no, a while, yes, I don't know? Too many questions!” Sweetie struggled out.
“You like my sister?” Scootaloo asked.
Her face had shifted to a somewhat confused and weirded-out expression. She didn’t even wait for a response, though. Her mouth opened, closed, and she turned around starting to walk away.
Sweetie ran past stepping in front of her. She really needed Scootaloo for her plan.
“Scootaloo, please, hear me out.” Sweetie practically begged.
“Why, I shouldn’t even humor this. One, you’re too young for her. Two, you barely know each other. Three, you’re nothing alike. Need I go on?” Scootaloo had an exasperated look even talking about this.
“Well, I still like her! It might be a little weird, but I want to make things work! I just need to tell her how I feel, and I need your help, Scootaloo,” She pleaded.
Apple Bloom walked up next to Sweetie Belle and took her side.
“Come on Scoots. Ah know it’s a little weird and she doesn't have a shot, but we should still support her,” Apple Bloom reasoned.
She looked a little confused, “Wait, you don’t think I have a shot?”
Scootaloo responded to Apple Bloom, “It’s Rainbow Dash, though. She’s my idol and sister rolled into one. I cannot see them together.
Sweetie tried speaking up, “We totally belong together!”
“Ah can’t really either, but we look out for each other. I know if I had a crush on someone, I’d want y’all to help me out,” Apple Bloom said, walking next to Scoot and putting a hoof around her, leading her back to the cannon.
“Why are you ignoring me?!” Sweetie squeaked out.
Scootaloo sighed, giving in, “Fine, I’ll help this one time, but after this, I’m not gonna support it.”
“Guys?! Wait for me?!” Sweetie yelled, trotting to catch back up with them.
~~~~~~~
“I still don’t understand how this will impress Dash,” Scootaloo chimed in.
“That’s why I’m the brains of this group,” Sweetie retorted.
Apple Bloom hurtfully said, “Now hang on just uh minute. I thought ah was the smart one.”
Scootaloo agreed, “I’m with Apple Bloom on this one, she did make the clubhouse.”
“But, that means I’m the cute one! You can’t get far in life on that!” Sweetie complained.
“It’s okay Sweetie, we can take you in after you peak in your twenties,” Apple Bloom comforted, putting a hoof on her withers.
“Thanks, you two,” Sweetie Belle accepted, “we have more important things to worry about right now, though. Rainbow Dash is flying over! Scootaloo, go to your position.”
“I’m still not all for this,” Scootaloo said, as she ran out towards the lake.
“Alright, ya ready Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yep!” Sweetie assured, “this plan is sure to work.”
“If you say so,” Apple Bloom replied, “just waiting on Scootaloo to call Rainbow Dash down now that the false cloud report has been solved.”
“Hey, how’d you do that anyway?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Um… look at that, Rainbow is headed down, I better get back in the cannon,” Sweetie Belle said, trying to dodge the question.
Apple Bloom looked back to see Rainbow heading down as she said, “Fine, but you gotta tell me later.”
Everything was going according to plan. With the false report solved, Rainbow would have a little bit of time to waste. Scootaloo would call her down to chat, so she would be in the perfect position for Sweetie Belle to launch herself into the lake. She would either be rescued immediately by Dash or would swim out herself and greet her, knowing Dash would be in awe of her amazing entrance. Then, she’d move on to phase two.
“Alright!” Apple Bloom yelled, “three, two, one, launch!”
Apple Bloom pulled the string, thus launching Sweetie Belle out of the cannon. She traveled in an arch sailing right past Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo. She made sure to give them a wink, as she flew by. She landed in the water right where she expected to. After no Rainbow for a second, she dragged herself to shore and found them staring at her.
“Hi Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo, what’s up?” Sweetie said, trying to play it cool.
After she asked that, Sweetie moved to get in what she believed to be a traditional pegasus stance when asking someone out. She made sure to face them both before starting. She half-lidded her eyes, scrunched her mouth, and looked to be doing a yoga stretch forward of some kind. If she had wings they would be flared out right now, but she sadly lacked the appendages to completely mimic it.
Rainbow looked briefly between Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, doing a double-take.
“Well, would you look at the time, haha. I gotta get back to work. See ya fillies later!” Rainbow yelled, shooting back towards Ponyville.
Scootaloo, however, was just in a dazed state. She slowly turned away and started walking back to town.
“I’m going to be scarred for life,” She quietly stated, "she did the ritual right in front of me."
Sweetie Belle didn’t know where it all went wrong. Apple Bloom rushed past the traumatized Scootaloo and gave Sweetie a hug.
“What happened? Why’d she just fly away like that?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I’m not sure…” Sweetie responded, “my plan was perfect, though.”
“Scootaloo calls her down. I do the stunt to get her attention. Get out of the water and do the pegasi stance thing. I did everything correctly, but she wouldn’t even answer…” She sighed, before taking a deep breath to compose herself.
Giving a determined grin she continued, “Obviously, she just wasn’t impressed. In order to gain her affection, I’ll just need to be even bolder, flashier, and more awesome!”
“And I’ll be right there beside you! I’ll support you every step of the way!” Apple Bloom cheered.
~~~~~~~
Later that evening, Scootaloo was over at Rainbow Dash’s house. They had already planned a sleepover, and Rainbow didn’t mind watching the little squirt. She was glad the whole mess with Sweetie Belle was over. Her life could continue as normal with no more unneeded interruptions.
She had just sat down at the table to have some hamburgers Rainbow had made for them both. Just before she could begin eating Rainbow decided to bring something up to ask her about. Oh no.
“So Squirt,” Rainbow asked innocently, “What’d ya say?”
“What’d I say about what?” Scootaloo questioned back, confused.
“Come on, don’t keep me in suspense,” Rainbow pleaded.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Scootaloo answered cautiously.
“Fine, I’ll just come out and say it,” Rainbow said, unable to contain her excitement, “did you say yes when Sweetie Belle asked you out?!”
Scootaloo’s eye twitched slightly at this. She could tell her life would not be returning to normal. This was far from over, and she knew she would be pulled right back into the thick of it. Scootaloo just hit her head on the table and let out a small groan.
“I’m guessing that is something along the lines of you freezing or messing it up,” Rainbow teased, “don’t worry, the awesomest sister ever, Rainbow Dash, will make sure you make it up and win over that filly!”
Great...
Author's Note
Aero back again with weird stuff. So this is a comedy crack ship idea. There is no romance tag, as you can tell, so they will not end up together. This is about Sweetie's attempts, and the destruction they cause to the town. This story was really fun to write for, but I'm not sure how consistent the updates will be for it.
Side note: I am doing the auto moderator function. I've reviewed it twice and don't think anything here is a violation. Not really sure how it works, though.
