Red Bull gives you Winnnngs...

by Coralr

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Starswirl the Bearded, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1358

Starswirl the Bearded discovers the magical powers of Red Bull.

Starswirl the Bearded wanted power and praise, so he wanted wings. He never knew how to get them, until... He unlocked the earth shattering secrets of alicorns.
That was when an aggravated teen Celestia came in with an otherworldly beverage.

Published 2021-06-17 17:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-17 17:40:01 UTC

A Great Discovery

Author's Note

I dunno, I randomly had this idea when I remembered the redbull ads slogan, and then I started thinking about the whole Starswirl = Discord theory, and decided to make this with Starswirl and teen Celestia.
Enjoy this thing I put together

A Great Discovery

From one to another, another to one, the... Hmmm... What am I supposed to put h-

BOOM!

The scroll exploded in Starswirl's face. At this point, he'd just given up on everything, and was used to the explosions. He was missing something—Something very powerful—screaming to be noticed. Was it a new resource that he didn't discover?
Was it a type of magic he didn't know of? Was it just some annoying foal outside the castle walls, hurling rocks at the window? He didn't know.

Tossing the ashes on his face and the floor into the trash bin using telekinesis, he strode to his desk and ruled out some text with a quill. It's been the ninety-eighth failure this week, and he still couldn't put his mind to what alicorns had that he didn't. Then a miracle.
Celestia broke the door open, waltzing into the chamber filled with countless books and potions, while levitating what seemed to be a tin can.

"Starswirl, guess what I found!"

"Celestia please, can you not-

"But it's... Magical. I've never seen anything like it before."

"Magical? What could possibly be magical about a tin can?"

"Oh, it's not the can, It's what's inside."

Starswirl glared.

"Celestia, I appreciate your caring about my health, but I see no benefit in the mere nucleus of a tin can."

"You're telling me after all my attempts of aiming at the window, you never noticed that I was trying to tell you something?"

Starswirl crumpled his paper.

"I never bothered to notice."

Celestia's disappointment was immeasurable.
Starswirl never had any more time to spend with her or Luna, because of this...
This top-secret spell that he worked on all the time. Though understanding that a great wizard like him would thrive for greater power and achieve more, she needed to get him to stop being denser than a neutron star and actually listen.

"Fine then. If ignore me is what you'll do, you won't get to use this beverage in your potion experiment."

"Celestia, that's the oldest trick in the book. Even foals who were just born to this world would know."

Celestia wasn't just disappointed anymore, she was aggravated.
How was Starswirl going to listen to her? It's like magic is more important than those who both have magic, and can fly!
Then Celestia thought up what no successful student would think. She did what no excellent protégé would do.

She- Ok, maybe I'm overexaggerating everything, but let's be honest here, Celestia was a teen right now who craved the attention of someone close to her, and you'd think she'd do something much worse, when really, all she did was silently creep over Starswirl and shoved the can into his muzzle.

"Now what do you think?"

"I... I feel... euphoric..."

"That's exactly what I-"

"I simply must study this..."

He grabbed the can and squinted his eyes.

"Red Bull."

"W-Wha- Wait, RED BULL? I thought those were buffalos!"

"Nonsense, Celestia. It clearly says it here."

"Oh."

Then Starswirl's eyes widened in disbelief at what he saw next.

"Red Bull... Gives you wings?"

"..."

He quickly scrambled the desk and hastily picked up the quill, exchanging glances between the Red Bull and the crumpled papers he left lying on the desk.

"This beverage is host of untold phenomenal powers... Which is exactly what I needed to finish this spell. Thank you, Celestia. I will teach you it's benefit when I properly analyze what it has to offer."

Enlightment peaked through Celestia's pale face.
He said it himself, He was going back to teaching them some spells again.
I mean, not like she knows all spells in Equestria anyway.
When her sister, Luna would awake, She'd stay in her bed, thinking about her mentor's words.

She'd come back to this room the next day and observe.
She'd see him pouring contents of the Red Bull into his beakers as all of the chemicals react.
Luna would occasionally stay with Celestia and talk to her about the petty matter that really is insignifican- aaannnd I'm adding in redundant words that serve no significance to the story other than maxing out the text.

...

Anyways, I was saying,
The day finally came, when Celestia came in the room with Starswirl, who'd completely finished the experiment.
Now, it was time to test it.

"I... I can't believe you actually did it."

"I can."

"Starswirl, shouldn't you test the new spell?"

"Ah yes."

Clearing his throat, he pulled out the scroll which had all the information he gathered about the Red Bull, when his horn sparked. Celestia stepped back, and that's when it hit her. He was going to test the spell on himself.
She swiftly levitated the spell away from Starswirl.

"..."

"Um, well, How about you save the suspense for... Well, when Luna comes?"

"Hmm, I do say you have a point. She needs to see this too."

Celestia let out a sigh of relief.

"Should I get a test subject for you to-"

"It's okay. I can handle everything myself."

Celestia wanted to object, but hesitated. She walked out of the room and watched her mentor pick up his scrolls and quill.
She had a deep gut feeling that something would go horribly wrong. She knew her mentor was smart and wise, but sometimes he got overambitious. Other than that, she put her faith and trust in his decision, hoping he'd be okay.

That night, she walked out to the balcony outside her room, where she pondered about the situation as she lowered the sun.

"It's okay, Celestia. You can trust Starswirl, he's a highly advanced wizard, of course he knows what he's doing!

But what if he turns himself into, I don't know, a sheep and can't turn himself back?

Calm down! He'll be fine. "

Then she snapped out of it.

"I should probably sleep, maybe I'm too tired."

Then she wakes up.
The first thing she does is walk over to the room where Starswirl lingered all these days.
She peeks behind the door—He's nowhere to be seen.
Then she looks at the time, and her heartrate raises.

She runs over to the window, and she couldn't comprehend what befell her.
Staring at horror over what was before her, she pinched herself.

It for sure wasn't a dream.

Chaos ensues.

Alternate Ending

Author's Note

y'know with the small amount of footage we have of Starswirl compared to the others it's kinda hard to write his character, other than the fact most of his scenes were exposition from Celestia or some books Twilight read or something.
Also, idk how to draw him correctly

Alternate Ending

Celestia wanted to object, but hesitated. She walked out of the room and watched her mentor pick up his scrolls and Quill.
She had a deep gut feeling that something would go horribly wrong. She knew her mentor was smart and wise, but sometimes he got overambitious. Other than that, she put her faith and trust in his decision, hoping he'd be okay.

That night, she walked out to the balcony outside her room, where she pondered about the situation as she lowered the sun.

"It's okay, Celestia. You can trust Starswirl, he's a highly advanced wizard, of course he knows what he's doing!

But what if he turns himself into, I don't know, a sheep and can't turn himself back?

Calm down! He'll be fine. "

Then she snapped out of it.

"I should probably sleep, maybe I'm too tired."

Then she wakes up.
The first thing she does is walk over to the room where Starswirl lingered all these days.
She peeks behind the door...
There stood a blended hurricane of everfree nonsense.
What seemed to be a slender dragon with multiple mismatched limbs and the largest eyebrows she's ever witnessed in Starswirl's clothes looked her way.

"..."

"Hi."