What’s a King Without a Queen?by theOwtcastChaptersThe ProblemThe EffortThe DespairThe SolutionEpilogue: The RippleThe Problem“...and you should have seen the explosion of love when I pronounced them husband and husband, Pharynx!” “Mhm.” “They’re such a cute couple, aren’t they?” “Uh-huh.” “They even said they’re thinking of adopting a few of the orphaned nymphs!” “Mmm.” “You don’t even care, do you?” “Actually, I do. Fang is a skilled soldier and Trochanter has a rich aura. The nymphs they adopt should be well fed and safe from danger, which can only benefit the hive in the long run, assuming they don’t spoil them too much.” “...yay?” “And since you’re so crazy-thrilled about every wedding you officiate, I’ve been wondering when yours will come up.” That caught me off-guard. “What?” “Come on, Thorax, are you gonna remain a bachelor all your life?” “What’s wrong with being a bachelor?” “Nothing, except that you’re the king.” “So?” “What’s a king without a queen?” “Uh…” He groaned. “Thorax, just because Chrysalis is immortal doesn’t mean you are. Okay, so it hasn’t been that long since you ascended, and you could still turn out to be immortal eventually, but do you want to take that chance? And even if you are immortal, that only protects you from old age and from diseases to some extent, but not from injuries. What’s the hive supposed to do if you die without an heir?” “Couldn’t you take over?” “In theory, but there’s no telling if I’ll be alive then, either. In fact, if you die anytime soon, it’ll probably be because someone killed you, and by then I’ll most likely already have died protecting you. You need another plan.” “You mean, getting married?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because you need someling to lay your eggs.” I tilted my head at him. “Okay, you don’t need to be married for the biology to work, but since you’re the king, you have to follow tradition if you want one of your nymphs to be eligible for the throne. Didn’t anyone ever tell you how it works?” “No…” “Long story short, your rightful heir can only be the nymph that is the biological son or daughter of both you and your wife, conceived and hatched in wedlock, and by default, it’s the one that hatches first. If the oldest nymph dies prior to your demise or is in any way incapable of leadership, then his or her next sibling becomes the rightful heir. Alternatively, if you die childless, your next of kin may claim the throne, but we’ve already established that I most likely won’t be able to do that.” “Can’t I adopt a nymph?” “You can, but they won’t be eligible for the throne no matter what you do.” “Oh…” “What’s the matter?” “I, uh… you’ll laugh.” He raised an eyebrow. “I… I’ve never fallen in love with or had a crush on anyone, and… and I… don’t think I can.” Now he raised both eyebrows. “You… can’t.” “Yeah…” “Hold on a minute… Are you telling me that you, the changeling who insisted on sharing love since the moment you got out of your egg and were so stubborn about it that you wouldn’t leave it alone until you overthrew the Queen and triggered a mass-metamorphosis, the changeling with by far the richest love aura in existence, are incapable of romance?!” “...I guess so…” He facehoofed. “Now I’ve heard everything… But that doesn’t mean you can’t get married. It wouldn’t be the first political marriage in history, and certainly not the first loveless one-” “I know, Pharynx! But that doesn’t make it right! My hypothetical wife deserves to be loved, she’d probably be in love with me, and I’d probably love her as a friend, but it doesn’t seem fair to her if I can’t give her the same flavor of love that she’d be giving me! And it’s even worse if neither of us love each other because she might otherwise have married someone she would love!” “Tradition allows you to divorce her in certain conditions without depriving your nymphs of succession rights-” “I don’t know… seems senseless to marry anyone knowing you intend to divorce them in the end…” “You’re insufferable,” he groaned. “Just turn a blind eye to her extramarital affairs if it’s bothering you so much and have her lay you some eggs! Is that too much to ask for?” “Actually…” “Now what?” “I’m not even sure if I’m ready to be a father. Don’t get me wrong; I like nymphs, but playing with them casually is one thing, and raising them and being responsible for their well-being and their future… I can barely keep myself together sometimes! Their mother may or may not handle the responsibility better, but even if she would, I can’t just throw the nymphs into someone else’s care and pretend they don’t exist if I’m their father! And that’s all assuming I even get as far as having nymphs!” “What are you talking about?” “...the whole... act of… you know… I don’t think I could bring myself to do it. I might physically, but… it… well, I’m not sure if saying it disgusts me is the best way to phrase it, but-” Pharynx buried his head in his hooves. “Stop,” he groaned. “Just… just stop!” “Sorry…” “Don’t apologize to me.” “Um…” “Apologize to the hive! What’s gonna happen with the hive if it doesn’t have a leader? It’s your duty to provide a successor to the throne in case you turn out to not be immortal, and you’re telling me you can’t?!” “I-” “And this isn’t even the first thing you’re supposed to do that you can’t handle! How did you ever become a king if you’re so useless?!” “You think I chose this?!” “Yes! Nevermind that I stopped condoning Chrysalis’ leadership style; you didn’t have to persist in changing our entire way of life! You could have let someling else get around to it, hopefully someling capable of handling royal duties!” “Well I’m sorry if I can’t feel one of many flavors of love! Chrysalis couldn’t feel any except that for herself and for power and you didn’t complain!” “It fit her style of leadership and wasn’t stopping her from doing what needed to be done! But this doesn’t fit you, and it could bring the downfall of your kingdom! You’re a disgrace to your own regime!” Words left me upon hearing that. My own brother, calling me a disgrace after everything I’d done for the hive? I stormed off, barely suppressing a river of tears. The EffortHours later, I lay slumped on the floor of my bedchamber, discouraged, hopeless and alone, drained by crying out the pain left in the wake of Pharynx’s words. To see him so coldly insensitive to the feelings of others no longer surprised me, not that it had ever really surprised me at all; he was a soldier to the core, the Ultimate Soldier if there had ever been any, and such a trait probably helped him excel at his duty. But to expect me to be so coldly insensitive to the needs and feelings of both others and myself? He should know better by now; had I had the slightest sliver of ability to do that at any point in my life, I wouldn’t be where I was now! I wouldn’t be me! Was this another of his military traits, one that demanded the same heartless efficiency from his subordinates that he’d expect from himself? One would argue that a soldier was supposed to expect such behavior from his or her commanding officers; that such a behavior was acceptable, necessary even, as its purpose was to wipe out all weaknesses that could compromise the army’s invincibility and to prepare the soldiers for the worst of the worst, to help them face the grim challenges and brave the unavoidable consequences of the carnage of war. But did he really need to force the same approach on me? We both wanted the best for the hive and he knew it! But he was right. It hurt to admit it, but he was right. The one thing he’d never have to tell me was that a king’s first duty was to serve his subjects, to ensure their well-being to the best of his ability. By any means necessary, he’d probably add. To him, that would probably mean allowing the army to go all out when defending the hive, and what was pretty much how it had been in the old days. But now that changelings had become more than mindless warrior-slaves to a power-hungry tyrant, the ‘any means necessary’ had to mean more than unlimited brute force; and if a king’s first duty was to ensure the well-being of his subjects… perhaps that meant he had to ignore his own needs for the sake of the kingdom. Pharynx was right. As much as it hurt to admit it, he was right about this. I had to provide the hive with an heir to pass the torch to if I weren’t to carry that torch forever! I had to ignore my flaws for this; I had to force myself to get past the unfairness of having no romantic flavor to present to my future wife and no knowledge of how to compensate for that flaw, whoever she was and no matter how much it would pain her, and I had to grit my teeth and do what needed to be done if I was to have any nymphs! For the sake of the hive, I had to! But how? It felt so daunting, so impossible! How?! Harmony help me… Well, that could have gone better. I dragged myself into my bedchamber and slumped onto the ground, not caring to find a soft surface to land onto. How long had it been now that I’d been at this? Two months? Two and a half? Three? One would have thought I’d have had plenty of time and opportunity by now to at least grasp the basics of courtship, but no! I couldn’t even feign romantic interest regardless of the lack of the matching flavor of my aura, let alone keep a date from plummeting into disaster territory! And the harder I tried, the worse it became! Being completely honest about my motives had proven to be an even worse idea than lying and pretending, and a part of me wondered what a certain apple farmer from Ponyville would have to say about it. Probably nothing good… Either way, I was at an impasse. Finding a date hadn’t been so hard at first, but it had taken less than a week for the word of my pitiable romantic attempts to spread among the eligible females - and the non-eligible ones, probably - and most of them were reluctant to even trot close to me in the hallways, and conversations with the few drones who still hadn’t entirely backed off were getting incredibly awkward and strained no matter what they were about. Even the male drones had started eyeing me weird! No wonder if they’d heard the experiences of their sisters and daughters… I couldn’t blame them - I’d refuse to date me at this point, really - but the fact remained that I still hadn’t found myself a wife and was running out of options! Expanding the pool of candidates onto male drones or non-changelings wasn’t an option unless someone created a spell that would make it possible for same-sex or interspecies couples to have biological offspring, but even with that, assuming I somehow managed to catch someone’s interest, there was no telling whether or not the traditional rules would permit the resulting children to inherit the throne and whether or not their supposed future subjects would accept such a leader! For the millionth time in the past couple of months, I wished I didn’t have to follow a set of rules. Why couldn’t I adopt a nymph who could succeed me at the throne? Why couldn’t I figure out this whole romance thing and become capable of it? Why hadn’t someling else become the king or queen, someling who didn’t have this problem… this fault? My gaze wandered aimlessly around the bedchamber and fell onto a picture frame. I got up wearily and approached it. The photo inside showed Spike and our Ponyville friends, hanging out on a meadow near Twilight’s School of Friendship without a care in the world. They probably hadn’t had a care in the world; they’d beaten every challenge and resolved every crisis that life threw at them, and now, they were pursuing a goal of spreading their message and sharing their experiences with anyone who wanted to learn the ways of friendship and harmony! Would any of them be able to teach me a thing or two? I decided to find out. The Despair“...so, by now, I’m at my wits’ end,” I said as Spike listened to my disjointed lamenting. “What should I do?” “It’s that bad?” “Of course it’s bad! Cilia slapped me, Elytra said she couldn’t believe I’d managed to inspire her or anyling else to share love, Coxa called me a creep and a pervert, Morpheus threatened to saw off my antlers and impale them on my other end if I ever came close to his sister again, and that’s barely scratching the surface of what happened over the past week alone! Not to mention that the collective love aura is getting thinner and sourer than ever before! Okay, maybe it was worse when Chrysalis was in charge, but that’s setting the bar really low… They don’t seem to trust me anymore! I started doing it to ensure the hive’s stability and future, and I feel like I’m this close to destroying it! It’s worse than when Pharynx kept refusing to accept the new ways!” “He’s the one who put you to it?” “Yes.” “So why doesn’t he help you?” “He said he couldn’t because this was something I had to figure out by myself, and I quote, ‘like every changeling in history did’. I’m not sure whether he expects it to suddenly and miraculously work or just doesn’t want to get dragged into the colossal mess I’ve made… I don’t want to think that he enjoys watching me struggle, though I can’t entirely rule it out, either…” “...is it possible that he might be after the throne?” I scoffed. “He’s had plenty of chances to seize power from me even without resorting to creating this level of chaos! Besides, I sense a streak of genuineness in him in spite of all…” Though Spike had suggested that possibility with a great degree of caution, presumably expecting me to get outraged or worrying he might deepen my concerns even further, I’d already considered and dismissed it several times over the past couple of months. “Okay, I’ll take your word for it,” he shrugged. “But seriously, he never once attempted to help you?” “No, he’s generally not prone to helping people, even when asked directly. It’s not even that he doesn’t want to help, but his idea of ‘helping’ is probably to throw you head-first into trouble and not interfere while you struggle to get out. I don’t know if it occurred to him that such an approach rarely gives results, but even if it did, I honestly don’t know what could work! Maybe this really is something I have to figure out for myself… He keeps calling me a lost cause, and maybe I am… How am I going to figure this out, Spike? Maybe I really am a lost cause! I don’t want to doom the hive, but what if there’s nothing I can do to prevent it?” He sat there in silence for a minute, then shook his head. “I’m sorry, Thorax, I wish I knew what to do, but… well, you might get offended, but I still find it hard to believe that a changeling can feel no romantic attraction whatsoever. Aren’t you guys supposed to be the masters of love?” “There are many flavors of love, Spike, and romance is just one of them. I can sense it in others to an extent, but I can’t evoke it in my own heart, or at least I’ve never succeeded so far. Maybe I will one day under the right conditions, but all this pressure isn’t helping any! Most changelings aren’t flawed that way, but it can happen; in fact, you could say it used to be a kind of advantage in the old days when blind loyalty to Chrysalis was the only form of affection allowed, if you can call it that, and all other forms of affection such as friendship or romantic passion would mean punishment to any drone who harbored those feelings, not to mention it would make him or her a potential food source for the others to take advantage of. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why Pharynx used to beat me up all the time when we were little…” “So you’re supposed to take a thing you not only can’t feel, but never would have been allowed to feel even if you could, and take it to expert levels just because?” he asked dryly. I chuckled. “Yeah, it does sound ridiculous when you put it that way…” “Why?” “Tradition,” I shrugged. “Pharynx insists that if I’m to have a successor, this is the only way to do it, because the oldest nymph etcetera etcetera plus a bunch of other rules for all kinds of scenarios in case a backup heir or a backup of the backup’s backup has to fill in because of whatnot… please don’t ask me to repeat it, I got a headache three times just listening to him drone on about it…” “You don’t have to! Twilight has a book on that! I can bring it to you right now if you want!” “She has a... Of course she does,” I sighed. “No, please don’t bring it!” “Heh, right, I guess it’s the last thing you need right now…” “Um, Spike?” I asked after a moment. “Does Twilight have any books on how to make someone fall in love?” He cringed. “You don’t want to go there, trust me!” “Why?” “She does have a book that includes a recipe for a love potion, among other things, except that it’s actually a recipe for a love poison. Three fillies in Ponyville found that recipe a few years ago and tricked somepony into drinking it… they had good intentions but let’s just say the situation turned into something Discord would have to work hard to surpass and leave it at that.” “Okay, not touching that, then,” I agreed. “What about teaching someone how to fall in love?” He shook his head. “Another book says if you don’t have it in yourself to fall in love, you may learn to act the part but there’s nothing in the world that will teach you the genuine feeling. And Cadance co-authored that book, so…” I nodded grimly. “So I really am hopeless… Do you at least have any books on immortality?” “...I’ll get back to you on that. Am I right in assuming that you want to find out whether or not you’re immortal and maybe ditch this whole thing if it isn’t necessary?” “Yes, please tell me you remembered something!” “Remembered what?” Twilight spoke, entering the room. “Hi, Thorax! Uh-oh, did I forget an appointment? Spike, why didn’t you remind me?! Is anycreature else due to arrive? I haven’t prepared the-” “No, relax, I’m here on an impulse!” I interjected, and she calmed down considerably. “Thorax wants to find out if he’s immortal,” Spike explained. “Well, that among other things, actually…” “Do you have any books or personal experience on the matter?” I asked hopefully. “I’m afraid not, but Princess Celestia did tell me once that she woke up one day and just knew, no explanation how, but she suddenly knew she was immortal, and apparently Luna experienced something similar. I haven’t had any such moments, but she was about twice my current age at the time, so maybe my moment of epiphany just isn’t due to happen yet, assuming it will happen, of course… Maybe yours will too? I don’t really know how it works with changelings!” “I wonder if we’ll ever find Chrysalis… You think she’ll care to tell us?” “Probably not. But Thorax, why are you suddenly obsessed with immortality?” “Long story short, it’s a matter of whether or not I need a successor.” “Oh. ...I’m sorry, I was under the impression that you’d want nymphs. You don’t?” “It’s not that… I do like nymphs but I’m not ready to be a father yet. And the whole romance thing…” I shuddered. “I’d rather adopt. At least it would save me the pain of finding a mate…” “Thorax appears to be asexual,” Spike explained to Twilight’s confused glare. “Who would have thought?” “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing,” she scolded him. “Right, sorry…” “Anyway, Thorax, I’m sure you’d be a great father if you decide to go down that road!” “‘If?’ I’m not sure that I can afford an ‘if’; Pharynx made it very clear which conditions my nymphs must meet in order to be considered rightful heirs.” “The conditions described in the first volume of Regal Script’s Compendium of Ancient Royal Succession Rights and the Order of Royal Succession? I didn’t realize those were practiced in the Changeling Kingdom! Didn’t you say Chrysalis was immortal?” “She is, and I didn’t realize it either until Pharynx started shoving them down my throat a couple of months ago,” I shrugged. “I didn’t even know they existed until Pharynx started shoving them down my throat… I guess Chrysalis didn’t need them, and it’s probably the case with Celestia and Luna too… though, now that I think about it, those rules would explain why Cadance had a foal…” “No, Cadance has never cared for random ancient protocols and such,” she said. “She got married and had Flurry because she wanted a family even though she knew she could outlive her husband and children, though with Flurry being an alicorn-” I’d stopped listening; something in the back of my mind stirred and demanded to be listened to. There was a choice?! I’d been convinced those rules had to be followed blindly and unquestioningly! “...though if Ember hadn’t competed for the Dragon Lord title, this would be more widely known and…” Twilight rambled on. “Huh?” I blurted out. “Sorry, uh, I must have zoned out for a minute there… What did you say about Ember competing for the Dragon Lord title?” “Yes, dragons have a tradition of competing for the throne when the ruling Dragon Lord is due to step down, and it’s pure chance that Ember happens to be the daughter of the previous Dragon Lord, and Torch didn’t even want her to compete, and…” I zoned out again. The voice in the back of my head screamed now! I hadn’t realized there was a tradition different from what Pharynx had described! And this one didn’t even seem to demand a blood relation between a leader and his or her successor! “Um, Twilight?” I interrupted her. “Spike said you have a copy of that book, what’s it called…” “The Regal Script’s Compendium of Ancient Royal Succession Rights and the Order of Royal Succession, volumes one through four? Yes, why?” “I don’t suppose you’d mind if I borrowed it for a bit?” The Solution“...and now that you know how it happened,” I said to the crowd gathered in front of me, “I want you to know that I’m sorry for acting the way I did. It was wrong of me to act without thinking things through and asking myself if what I’d been told really was the only way to go about it, and now that I’ve learned my lesson, I promise not to act like that again!” They murmured among themselves and their auras quickly returned to their usual warm, bright state that I’d grown to admire and be proud of. Having restored their trust through my explanation and apology, I excused myself with the intention of checking how the rest of the hive was doing and seeing if anyling else needed apologizing for the mayhem I’d caused. I didn’t get far. Pharynx intercepted me just past the gate into the hallway. “Took you long enough to get back,” he stated. I shrugged. “I’ve been given a lot to think about.” “Was it any use?” “Yes,” I said. “As a matter of fact, it was!” “And you immediately felt the need to apologize to the whole hive,” he groaned. “What else did I expect?” “They deserved an apology!” “Well, if it gives you a second chance at courting them-” “I won’t be courting them.” “Okay, maybe not the drones over there who already rejected you with extreme prejudice, but the others-” “I won’t be courting the others, either.” “...what?” “I said, I won’t be-” “I know what you said, you idiot! I’m not deaf! What I mean is, how in the name of eggshells are you going to find yourself a queen if-” “I won’t, Pharynx! I’m incapable of romance and won’t enter a loveless marriage just because you say I should!” “I’m not saying that! It’s tradition!” “Which tradition? The one you described is practiced in Yakyakistan, Abyssinia, and among the hippogriffs and the buffalo, and pony tribes practiced it too before the unification and the ascension of Celestia and Luna, and so did the griffons before the fall of their kingdom. But it’s not the only tradition in existence! Did you forget the dragons, who compete for the position of leadership every five hundred years, or the Kirin, whose leaders have to pass a series of tests to be eligible for leadership, or the diamond dogs and modern-day griffons, who don’t even have official leaders? Oh, and did you know there’s a parallel universe that Twilight told me about, where everyone in the country gathers up to elect their leader from a pool of willing candidates, something like how ponies elect their mayors?” “I didn’t forget about those. I’m honestly surprised that you know of so many traditions all of a sudden!” “That tends to happen when you spend a week in Twilight’s library.” “...fair enough.” “So what made you insist on that one tradition if there’s a number of different ones?” “It’s what Chrysalis intended for the changelings.” “Oh?” “She told me about it once. I don’t remember how the topic came up or why she wanted to reveal it, but there it is. That tradition was the default setting for most countries at the time, pony lands and the Griffon Kingdom included, and Chrysalis kind of just rolled with it, until she outlived her children and the children of their children and eventually her whole bloodline. At some point she figured out she was immortal and gave up on the idea of bothering to lay another clutch of eggs and raising them to succeed her. It’s not like she wanted any of them; she just assumed she’d need a successor and preferred one that would be considered rightful by the standards of that time in order to avoid the chaos that would undoubtedly arise if the throne was left vacant and there was noling who could lay immediate and legitimate claim to it.” “Instead, she got me.” “Exactly the kind of successor she wanted to avoid.” He snickered. “I bet she’s furious that her plan failed and she lived to see it!” “Okay, so she was going to implement that tradition, but thanks to her immortality, she never did, and I’m only the second leader of the changelings, which means we don’t really have a tradition of our own to follow-” “-except that you became a king through a coup and I don’t want that to become our tradition! I’d rather have Chrysalis’ original plan!” “And I already told you I don’t like what that plan entails, throne or no throne!” “Yes, okay, so you can’t offer back the romantic flavor that your queen will give you.” “Or a prince consort, or an unmarried lover, whatever. It’s just not fair to them! I’d never stop feeling guilty for robbing them of a chance to be with someling who loved them back!” “What about your duty to the throne?” “The successor, you mean?” “Yes, the successor! That’s the whole point of it!” “I’m thinking of choosing a drone, or several drones, that seem fitting and train them, and see which one of them is the best choice over time if there’s more of them, or even let the hive decide which one of them they like most. Right now, Ocellus seems like a good candidate. I’ll have to see how she feels about it, though…” “So you’ve given up having nymphs of your own?” “No, but I don’t think I can bring myself to sire them. Adoption seems more likely-” “But you’re not considering them for the throne?” “What is it with you and my nymphs? Just because they may have a king for a father doesn’t mean they’d be good leaders! Heck, I don’t think I’m an especially good leader! The hive deserves someling with talent for leadership! Training can only get you so far!” “I’m not going to talk some sense into you, am I?” “What do you mean?” “A king needs a queen, Thorax-” “Not necessarily!” “What’s he without one?” “In my case, happy.” Epilogue: The Ripple“You wanted to see us, Thorax?” “Ah, yes, Fang, Trochanter! Come on in! The paperwork is completed!” As they sat down at the small table, I took a pair of scrolls and set them in front of the couple. “Now just sign here and here, and it’ll be official!” One by one, they took the quill provided for the purpose and did as instructed. I checked the signatures and added my own, gave them one copy of the scroll and set the other aside for the archives, and turned to the other pair, much younger, sitting at the table. “Ecdysis, Mayfly, meet your new daddies! Congratulations, all of you!” The nymphs pranced into their fathers’ grasps and the surge of love coming from all four of them was so rich it could daze any non-changelings that happened to be in the area! It certainly dazed me! I grinned at the new family. Right now, it was easy to forget all the pains and hardships of being a leader; moments like these made it all worth it! “Wanna play chase?” Trochanter asked Mayfly. “Sure thing, daddy!” she said; the sweetness in her words was to die for! “I want in, too!” Ecdysis exclaimed. The four ran off squealing and laughing, though not before Fang paused to tuck the adoption certificate under his elytron. I sighed contently as I watched them disappear behind a vine curtain. Something slamming onto the table snapped me back into hard reality. “Did you conspire about this?” Pharynx growled. “Huh?” He pointed a hoof at the copy of Canterlot Times he’d thrown onto the table. I took up the newspaper and found the cause of his ire right on the front page. The title of the article read: Shift in Royal Power Announced - Celestia and Luna Retiring, Canterlot Throne to Pass to Twilight Sparkle! I glanced wide-eyed at Pharynx and read the article. It didn’t go into too much detail - no matter, I could ask my friends about those - but the gist of it was that Celestia and Luna felt it was the right thing to do after Twilight and her friends had proven themselves more than capable of handling every threat that had popped up over the years. Twilight herself hadn’t commented on the ruling, but the reporter expressed his confidence that she was ready and determined to prove herself a worthy successor to the royal sisters. The next several pages consisted entirely of many reporters’ speculations about the process of the transfer of power, Twilight’s leadership style, how she’d handle herself in the early days of being the sole leader of the most influential country in the world, how the change would affect an average citizen, and so on and so forth. I only glanced through those pages; I could always read them later if I wanted to, but knowing Twilight personally, I hardly felt it necessary, not to mention that I could easily add a theory or two of my own to the pile! None of it mattered right now, anyway; I knew why Pharynx had brought this here. “I didn’t know anything about it,” I told him. “Then how in the name of eggshells did they come up with the exact same idea for a royal succession as you?” “I don’t know-” “Did you discuss your plans with them?” “No-” “Did Celestia and Luna tell you about their yet-to-be-announced plans for Twilight? Is that how you got your idea?” “How would they tell me? I haven’t seen either of them since Ocellus went missing!” “Didn’t Luna come to silence your nightmares almost every night for a while?” “We talked about other things, and she never stayed long enough-” “Twilight said nothing?” “No…” “The dragon?” “Pharynx, what’s the matter with you? Okay, yes, their idea is uncannily similar to mine, so what? They must have had enough of ruling after a thousand years so they went with the obvious choice to replace them!” “The timing is awfully suggestive!” “A few weeks after my ‘breaking with tradition’ as you called it?” “Yes!” “So?” “What?” I groaned. “Pharynx, why are you so upset about this?” He clenched his jaw and looked into the distance. “...it’s like they’re trying to give your move some validation just to annoy me,” he grumbled. “You still haven’t gotten over me not looking for a wife, have you?” “Are you sure you don’t want one?” he asked back. “I still can’t believe a guy with an aura like yours can’t find something in it that a wife would like…” “Things weirder than an asexual king have happened,” I said. “Yes, I’m sure.” He sighed. “So, that’s it, then? No nephews and nieces?” Wait, that was what the whole deal was about?! Or at least part of the whole deal?! “I never said that,” I countered. “There probably will be, now that some of the pressure is off my back, but unless something drastic changes, they’ll be adopted.” He smirked and a spark lit up in his aura. “Then you might want to hurry. At the rate your subjects have been adopting nymphs, there won’t be any left for you anymore pretty soon, and then someling will need to have a tragic accident so you can adopt theirs.” “Pharynx!”
The Problem“...and you should have seen the explosion of love when I pronounced them husband and husband, Pharynx!” “Mhm.” “They’re such a cute couple, aren’t they?” “Uh-huh.” “They even said they’re thinking of adopting a few of the orphaned nymphs!” “Mmm.” “You don’t even care, do you?” “Actually, I do. Fang is a skilled soldier and Trochanter has a rich aura. The nymphs they adopt should be well fed and safe from danger, which can only benefit the hive in the long run, assuming they don’t spoil them too much.” “...yay?” “And since you’re so crazy-thrilled about every wedding you officiate, I’ve been wondering when yours will come up.” That caught me off-guard. “What?” “Come on, Thorax, are you gonna remain a bachelor all your life?” “What’s wrong with being a bachelor?” “Nothing, except that you’re the king.” “So?” “What’s a king without a queen?” “Uh…” He groaned. “Thorax, just because Chrysalis is immortal doesn’t mean you are. Okay, so it hasn’t been that long since you ascended, and you could still turn out to be immortal eventually, but do you want to take that chance? And even if you are immortal, that only protects you from old age and from diseases to some extent, but not from injuries. What’s the hive supposed to do if you die without an heir?” “Couldn’t you take over?” “In theory, but there’s no telling if I’ll be alive then, either. In fact, if you die anytime soon, it’ll probably be because someone killed you, and by then I’ll most likely already have died protecting you. You need another plan.” “You mean, getting married?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because you need someling to lay your eggs.” I tilted my head at him. “Okay, you don’t need to be married for the biology to work, but since you’re the king, you have to follow tradition if you want one of your nymphs to be eligible for the throne. Didn’t anyone ever tell you how it works?” “No…” “Long story short, your rightful heir can only be the nymph that is the biological son or daughter of both you and your wife, conceived and hatched in wedlock, and by default, it’s the one that hatches first. If the oldest nymph dies prior to your demise or is in any way incapable of leadership, then his or her next sibling becomes the rightful heir. Alternatively, if you die childless, your next of kin may claim the throne, but we’ve already established that I most likely won’t be able to do that.” “Can’t I adopt a nymph?” “You can, but they won’t be eligible for the throne no matter what you do.” “Oh…” “What’s the matter?” “I, uh… you’ll laugh.” He raised an eyebrow. “I… I’ve never fallen in love with or had a crush on anyone, and… and I… don’t think I can.” Now he raised both eyebrows. “You… can’t.” “Yeah…” “Hold on a minute… Are you telling me that you, the changeling who insisted on sharing love since the moment you got out of your egg and were so stubborn about it that you wouldn’t leave it alone until you overthrew the Queen and triggered a mass-metamorphosis, the changeling with by far the richest love aura in existence, are incapable of romance?!” “...I guess so…” He facehoofed. “Now I’ve heard everything… But that doesn’t mean you can’t get married. It wouldn’t be the first political marriage in history, and certainly not the first loveless one-” “I know, Pharynx! But that doesn’t make it right! My hypothetical wife deserves to be loved, she’d probably be in love with me, and I’d probably love her as a friend, but it doesn’t seem fair to her if I can’t give her the same flavor of love that she’d be giving me! And it’s even worse if neither of us love each other because she might otherwise have married someone she would love!” “Tradition allows you to divorce her in certain conditions without depriving your nymphs of succession rights-” “I don’t know… seems senseless to marry anyone knowing you intend to divorce them in the end…” “You’re insufferable,” he groaned. “Just turn a blind eye to her extramarital affairs if it’s bothering you so much and have her lay you some eggs! Is that too much to ask for?” “Actually…” “Now what?” “I’m not even sure if I’m ready to be a father. Don’t get me wrong; I like nymphs, but playing with them casually is one thing, and raising them and being responsible for their well-being and their future… I can barely keep myself together sometimes! Their mother may or may not handle the responsibility better, but even if she would, I can’t just throw the nymphs into someone else’s care and pretend they don’t exist if I’m their father! And that’s all assuming I even get as far as having nymphs!” “What are you talking about?” “...the whole... act of… you know… I don’t think I could bring myself to do it. I might physically, but… it… well, I’m not sure if saying it disgusts me is the best way to phrase it, but-” Pharynx buried his head in his hooves. “Stop,” he groaned. “Just… just stop!” “Sorry…” “Don’t apologize to me.” “Um…” “Apologize to the hive! What’s gonna happen with the hive if it doesn’t have a leader? It’s your duty to provide a successor to the throne in case you turn out to not be immortal, and you’re telling me you can’t?!” “I-” “And this isn’t even the first thing you’re supposed to do that you can’t handle! How did you ever become a king if you’re so useless?!” “You think I chose this?!” “Yes! Nevermind that I stopped condoning Chrysalis’ leadership style; you didn’t have to persist in changing our entire way of life! You could have let someling else get around to it, hopefully someling capable of handling royal duties!” “Well I’m sorry if I can’t feel one of many flavors of love! Chrysalis couldn’t feel any except that for herself and for power and you didn’t complain!” “It fit her style of leadership and wasn’t stopping her from doing what needed to be done! But this doesn’t fit you, and it could bring the downfall of your kingdom! You’re a disgrace to your own regime!” Words left me upon hearing that. My own brother, calling me a disgrace after everything I’d done for the hive? I stormed off, barely suppressing a river of tears.
The EffortHours later, I lay slumped on the floor of my bedchamber, discouraged, hopeless and alone, drained by crying out the pain left in the wake of Pharynx’s words. To see him so coldly insensitive to the feelings of others no longer surprised me, not that it had ever really surprised me at all; he was a soldier to the core, the Ultimate Soldier if there had ever been any, and such a trait probably helped him excel at his duty. But to expect me to be so coldly insensitive to the needs and feelings of both others and myself? He should know better by now; had I had the slightest sliver of ability to do that at any point in my life, I wouldn’t be where I was now! I wouldn’t be me! Was this another of his military traits, one that demanded the same heartless efficiency from his subordinates that he’d expect from himself? One would argue that a soldier was supposed to expect such behavior from his or her commanding officers; that such a behavior was acceptable, necessary even, as its purpose was to wipe out all weaknesses that could compromise the army’s invincibility and to prepare the soldiers for the worst of the worst, to help them face the grim challenges and brave the unavoidable consequences of the carnage of war. But did he really need to force the same approach on me? We both wanted the best for the hive and he knew it! But he was right. It hurt to admit it, but he was right. The one thing he’d never have to tell me was that a king’s first duty was to serve his subjects, to ensure their well-being to the best of his ability. By any means necessary, he’d probably add. To him, that would probably mean allowing the army to go all out when defending the hive, and what was pretty much how it had been in the old days. But now that changelings had become more than mindless warrior-slaves to a power-hungry tyrant, the ‘any means necessary’ had to mean more than unlimited brute force; and if a king’s first duty was to ensure the well-being of his subjects… perhaps that meant he had to ignore his own needs for the sake of the kingdom. Pharynx was right. As much as it hurt to admit it, he was right about this. I had to provide the hive with an heir to pass the torch to if I weren’t to carry that torch forever! I had to ignore my flaws for this; I had to force myself to get past the unfairness of having no romantic flavor to present to my future wife and no knowledge of how to compensate for that flaw, whoever she was and no matter how much it would pain her, and I had to grit my teeth and do what needed to be done if I was to have any nymphs! For the sake of the hive, I had to! But how? It felt so daunting, so impossible! How?! Harmony help me… Well, that could have gone better. I dragged myself into my bedchamber and slumped onto the ground, not caring to find a soft surface to land onto. How long had it been now that I’d been at this? Two months? Two and a half? Three? One would have thought I’d have had plenty of time and opportunity by now to at least grasp the basics of courtship, but no! I couldn’t even feign romantic interest regardless of the lack of the matching flavor of my aura, let alone keep a date from plummeting into disaster territory! And the harder I tried, the worse it became! Being completely honest about my motives had proven to be an even worse idea than lying and pretending, and a part of me wondered what a certain apple farmer from Ponyville would have to say about it. Probably nothing good… Either way, I was at an impasse. Finding a date hadn’t been so hard at first, but it had taken less than a week for the word of my pitiable romantic attempts to spread among the eligible females - and the non-eligible ones, probably - and most of them were reluctant to even trot close to me in the hallways, and conversations with the few drones who still hadn’t entirely backed off were getting incredibly awkward and strained no matter what they were about. Even the male drones had started eyeing me weird! No wonder if they’d heard the experiences of their sisters and daughters… I couldn’t blame them - I’d refuse to date me at this point, really - but the fact remained that I still hadn’t found myself a wife and was running out of options! Expanding the pool of candidates onto male drones or non-changelings wasn’t an option unless someone created a spell that would make it possible for same-sex or interspecies couples to have biological offspring, but even with that, assuming I somehow managed to catch someone’s interest, there was no telling whether or not the traditional rules would permit the resulting children to inherit the throne and whether or not their supposed future subjects would accept such a leader! For the millionth time in the past couple of months, I wished I didn’t have to follow a set of rules. Why couldn’t I adopt a nymph who could succeed me at the throne? Why couldn’t I figure out this whole romance thing and become capable of it? Why hadn’t someling else become the king or queen, someling who didn’t have this problem… this fault? My gaze wandered aimlessly around the bedchamber and fell onto a picture frame. I got up wearily and approached it. The photo inside showed Spike and our Ponyville friends, hanging out on a meadow near Twilight’s School of Friendship without a care in the world. They probably hadn’t had a care in the world; they’d beaten every challenge and resolved every crisis that life threw at them, and now, they were pursuing a goal of spreading their message and sharing their experiences with anyone who wanted to learn the ways of friendship and harmony! Would any of them be able to teach me a thing or two? I decided to find out.
The Despair“...so, by now, I’m at my wits’ end,” I said as Spike listened to my disjointed lamenting. “What should I do?” “It’s that bad?” “Of course it’s bad! Cilia slapped me, Elytra said she couldn’t believe I’d managed to inspire her or anyling else to share love, Coxa called me a creep and a pervert, Morpheus threatened to saw off my antlers and impale them on my other end if I ever came close to his sister again, and that’s barely scratching the surface of what happened over the past week alone! Not to mention that the collective love aura is getting thinner and sourer than ever before! Okay, maybe it was worse when Chrysalis was in charge, but that’s setting the bar really low… They don’t seem to trust me anymore! I started doing it to ensure the hive’s stability and future, and I feel like I’m this close to destroying it! It’s worse than when Pharynx kept refusing to accept the new ways!” “He’s the one who put you to it?” “Yes.” “So why doesn’t he help you?” “He said he couldn’t because this was something I had to figure out by myself, and I quote, ‘like every changeling in history did’. I’m not sure whether he expects it to suddenly and miraculously work or just doesn’t want to get dragged into the colossal mess I’ve made… I don’t want to think that he enjoys watching me struggle, though I can’t entirely rule it out, either…” “...is it possible that he might be after the throne?” I scoffed. “He’s had plenty of chances to seize power from me even without resorting to creating this level of chaos! Besides, I sense a streak of genuineness in him in spite of all…” Though Spike had suggested that possibility with a great degree of caution, presumably expecting me to get outraged or worrying he might deepen my concerns even further, I’d already considered and dismissed it several times over the past couple of months. “Okay, I’ll take your word for it,” he shrugged. “But seriously, he never once attempted to help you?” “No, he’s generally not prone to helping people, even when asked directly. It’s not even that he doesn’t want to help, but his idea of ‘helping’ is probably to throw you head-first into trouble and not interfere while you struggle to get out. I don’t know if it occurred to him that such an approach rarely gives results, but even if it did, I honestly don’t know what could work! Maybe this really is something I have to figure out for myself… He keeps calling me a lost cause, and maybe I am… How am I going to figure this out, Spike? Maybe I really am a lost cause! I don’t want to doom the hive, but what if there’s nothing I can do to prevent it?” He sat there in silence for a minute, then shook his head. “I’m sorry, Thorax, I wish I knew what to do, but… well, you might get offended, but I still find it hard to believe that a changeling can feel no romantic attraction whatsoever. Aren’t you guys supposed to be the masters of love?” “There are many flavors of love, Spike, and romance is just one of them. I can sense it in others to an extent, but I can’t evoke it in my own heart, or at least I’ve never succeeded so far. Maybe I will one day under the right conditions, but all this pressure isn’t helping any! Most changelings aren’t flawed that way, but it can happen; in fact, you could say it used to be a kind of advantage in the old days when blind loyalty to Chrysalis was the only form of affection allowed, if you can call it that, and all other forms of affection such as friendship or romantic passion would mean punishment to any drone who harbored those feelings, not to mention it would make him or her a potential food source for the others to take advantage of. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why Pharynx used to beat me up all the time when we were little…” “So you’re supposed to take a thing you not only can’t feel, but never would have been allowed to feel even if you could, and take it to expert levels just because?” he asked dryly. I chuckled. “Yeah, it does sound ridiculous when you put it that way…” “Why?” “Tradition,” I shrugged. “Pharynx insists that if I’m to have a successor, this is the only way to do it, because the oldest nymph etcetera etcetera plus a bunch of other rules for all kinds of scenarios in case a backup heir or a backup of the backup’s backup has to fill in because of whatnot… please don’t ask me to repeat it, I got a headache three times just listening to him drone on about it…” “You don’t have to! Twilight has a book on that! I can bring it to you right now if you want!” “She has a... Of course she does,” I sighed. “No, please don’t bring it!” “Heh, right, I guess it’s the last thing you need right now…” “Um, Spike?” I asked after a moment. “Does Twilight have any books on how to make someone fall in love?” He cringed. “You don’t want to go there, trust me!” “Why?” “She does have a book that includes a recipe for a love potion, among other things, except that it’s actually a recipe for a love poison. Three fillies in Ponyville found that recipe a few years ago and tricked somepony into drinking it… they had good intentions but let’s just say the situation turned into something Discord would have to work hard to surpass and leave it at that.” “Okay, not touching that, then,” I agreed. “What about teaching someone how to fall in love?” He shook his head. “Another book says if you don’t have it in yourself to fall in love, you may learn to act the part but there’s nothing in the world that will teach you the genuine feeling. And Cadance co-authored that book, so…” I nodded grimly. “So I really am hopeless… Do you at least have any books on immortality?” “...I’ll get back to you on that. Am I right in assuming that you want to find out whether or not you’re immortal and maybe ditch this whole thing if it isn’t necessary?” “Yes, please tell me you remembered something!” “Remembered what?” Twilight spoke, entering the room. “Hi, Thorax! Uh-oh, did I forget an appointment? Spike, why didn’t you remind me?! Is anycreature else due to arrive? I haven’t prepared the-” “No, relax, I’m here on an impulse!” I interjected, and she calmed down considerably. “Thorax wants to find out if he’s immortal,” Spike explained. “Well, that among other things, actually…” “Do you have any books or personal experience on the matter?” I asked hopefully. “I’m afraid not, but Princess Celestia did tell me once that she woke up one day and just knew, no explanation how, but she suddenly knew she was immortal, and apparently Luna experienced something similar. I haven’t had any such moments, but she was about twice my current age at the time, so maybe my moment of epiphany just isn’t due to happen yet, assuming it will happen, of course… Maybe yours will too? I don’t really know how it works with changelings!” “I wonder if we’ll ever find Chrysalis… You think she’ll care to tell us?” “Probably not. But Thorax, why are you suddenly obsessed with immortality?” “Long story short, it’s a matter of whether or not I need a successor.” “Oh. ...I’m sorry, I was under the impression that you’d want nymphs. You don’t?” “It’s not that… I do like nymphs but I’m not ready to be a father yet. And the whole romance thing…” I shuddered. “I’d rather adopt. At least it would save me the pain of finding a mate…” “Thorax appears to be asexual,” Spike explained to Twilight’s confused glare. “Who would have thought?” “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing,” she scolded him. “Right, sorry…” “Anyway, Thorax, I’m sure you’d be a great father if you decide to go down that road!” “‘If?’ I’m not sure that I can afford an ‘if’; Pharynx made it very clear which conditions my nymphs must meet in order to be considered rightful heirs.” “The conditions described in the first volume of Regal Script’s Compendium of Ancient Royal Succession Rights and the Order of Royal Succession? I didn’t realize those were practiced in the Changeling Kingdom! Didn’t you say Chrysalis was immortal?” “She is, and I didn’t realize it either until Pharynx started shoving them down my throat a couple of months ago,” I shrugged. “I didn’t even know they existed until Pharynx started shoving them down my throat… I guess Chrysalis didn’t need them, and it’s probably the case with Celestia and Luna too… though, now that I think about it, those rules would explain why Cadance had a foal…” “No, Cadance has never cared for random ancient protocols and such,” she said. “She got married and had Flurry because she wanted a family even though she knew she could outlive her husband and children, though with Flurry being an alicorn-” I’d stopped listening; something in the back of my mind stirred and demanded to be listened to. There was a choice?! I’d been convinced those rules had to be followed blindly and unquestioningly! “...though if Ember hadn’t competed for the Dragon Lord title, this would be more widely known and…” Twilight rambled on. “Huh?” I blurted out. “Sorry, uh, I must have zoned out for a minute there… What did you say about Ember competing for the Dragon Lord title?” “Yes, dragons have a tradition of competing for the throne when the ruling Dragon Lord is due to step down, and it’s pure chance that Ember happens to be the daughter of the previous Dragon Lord, and Torch didn’t even want her to compete, and…” I zoned out again. The voice in the back of my head screamed now! I hadn’t realized there was a tradition different from what Pharynx had described! And this one didn’t even seem to demand a blood relation between a leader and his or her successor! “Um, Twilight?” I interrupted her. “Spike said you have a copy of that book, what’s it called…” “The Regal Script’s Compendium of Ancient Royal Succession Rights and the Order of Royal Succession, volumes one through four? Yes, why?” “I don’t suppose you’d mind if I borrowed it for a bit?”
The Solution“...and now that you know how it happened,” I said to the crowd gathered in front of me, “I want you to know that I’m sorry for acting the way I did. It was wrong of me to act without thinking things through and asking myself if what I’d been told really was the only way to go about it, and now that I’ve learned my lesson, I promise not to act like that again!” They murmured among themselves and their auras quickly returned to their usual warm, bright state that I’d grown to admire and be proud of. Having restored their trust through my explanation and apology, I excused myself with the intention of checking how the rest of the hive was doing and seeing if anyling else needed apologizing for the mayhem I’d caused. I didn’t get far. Pharynx intercepted me just past the gate into the hallway. “Took you long enough to get back,” he stated. I shrugged. “I’ve been given a lot to think about.” “Was it any use?” “Yes,” I said. “As a matter of fact, it was!” “And you immediately felt the need to apologize to the whole hive,” he groaned. “What else did I expect?” “They deserved an apology!” “Well, if it gives you a second chance at courting them-” “I won’t be courting them.” “Okay, maybe not the drones over there who already rejected you with extreme prejudice, but the others-” “I won’t be courting the others, either.” “...what?” “I said, I won’t be-” “I know what you said, you idiot! I’m not deaf! What I mean is, how in the name of eggshells are you going to find yourself a queen if-” “I won’t, Pharynx! I’m incapable of romance and won’t enter a loveless marriage just because you say I should!” “I’m not saying that! It’s tradition!” “Which tradition? The one you described is practiced in Yakyakistan, Abyssinia, and among the hippogriffs and the buffalo, and pony tribes practiced it too before the unification and the ascension of Celestia and Luna, and so did the griffons before the fall of their kingdom. But it’s not the only tradition in existence! Did you forget the dragons, who compete for the position of leadership every five hundred years, or the Kirin, whose leaders have to pass a series of tests to be eligible for leadership, or the diamond dogs and modern-day griffons, who don’t even have official leaders? Oh, and did you know there’s a parallel universe that Twilight told me about, where everyone in the country gathers up to elect their leader from a pool of willing candidates, something like how ponies elect their mayors?” “I didn’t forget about those. I’m honestly surprised that you know of so many traditions all of a sudden!” “That tends to happen when you spend a week in Twilight’s library.” “...fair enough.” “So what made you insist on that one tradition if there’s a number of different ones?” “It’s what Chrysalis intended for the changelings.” “Oh?” “She told me about it once. I don’t remember how the topic came up or why she wanted to reveal it, but there it is. That tradition was the default setting for most countries at the time, pony lands and the Griffon Kingdom included, and Chrysalis kind of just rolled with it, until she outlived her children and the children of their children and eventually her whole bloodline. At some point she figured out she was immortal and gave up on the idea of bothering to lay another clutch of eggs and raising them to succeed her. It’s not like she wanted any of them; she just assumed she’d need a successor and preferred one that would be considered rightful by the standards of that time in order to avoid the chaos that would undoubtedly arise if the throne was left vacant and there was noling who could lay immediate and legitimate claim to it.” “Instead, she got me.” “Exactly the kind of successor she wanted to avoid.” He snickered. “I bet she’s furious that her plan failed and she lived to see it!” “Okay, so she was going to implement that tradition, but thanks to her immortality, she never did, and I’m only the second leader of the changelings, which means we don’t really have a tradition of our own to follow-” “-except that you became a king through a coup and I don’t want that to become our tradition! I’d rather have Chrysalis’ original plan!” “And I already told you I don’t like what that plan entails, throne or no throne!” “Yes, okay, so you can’t offer back the romantic flavor that your queen will give you.” “Or a prince consort, or an unmarried lover, whatever. It’s just not fair to them! I’d never stop feeling guilty for robbing them of a chance to be with someling who loved them back!” “What about your duty to the throne?” “The successor, you mean?” “Yes, the successor! That’s the whole point of it!” “I’m thinking of choosing a drone, or several drones, that seem fitting and train them, and see which one of them is the best choice over time if there’s more of them, or even let the hive decide which one of them they like most. Right now, Ocellus seems like a good candidate. I’ll have to see how she feels about it, though…” “So you’ve given up having nymphs of your own?” “No, but I don’t think I can bring myself to sire them. Adoption seems more likely-” “But you’re not considering them for the throne?” “What is it with you and my nymphs? Just because they may have a king for a father doesn’t mean they’d be good leaders! Heck, I don’t think I’m an especially good leader! The hive deserves someling with talent for leadership! Training can only get you so far!” “I’m not going to talk some sense into you, am I?” “What do you mean?” “A king needs a queen, Thorax-” “Not necessarily!” “What’s he without one?” “In my case, happy.”
Epilogue: The Ripple“You wanted to see us, Thorax?” “Ah, yes, Fang, Trochanter! Come on in! The paperwork is completed!” As they sat down at the small table, I took a pair of scrolls and set them in front of the couple. “Now just sign here and here, and it’ll be official!” One by one, they took the quill provided for the purpose and did as instructed. I checked the signatures and added my own, gave them one copy of the scroll and set the other aside for the archives, and turned to the other pair, much younger, sitting at the table. “Ecdysis, Mayfly, meet your new daddies! Congratulations, all of you!” The nymphs pranced into their fathers’ grasps and the surge of love coming from all four of them was so rich it could daze any non-changelings that happened to be in the area! It certainly dazed me! I grinned at the new family. Right now, it was easy to forget all the pains and hardships of being a leader; moments like these made it all worth it! “Wanna play chase?” Trochanter asked Mayfly. “Sure thing, daddy!” she said; the sweetness in her words was to die for! “I want in, too!” Ecdysis exclaimed. The four ran off squealing and laughing, though not before Fang paused to tuck the adoption certificate under his elytron. I sighed contently as I watched them disappear behind a vine curtain. Something slamming onto the table snapped me back into hard reality. “Did you conspire about this?” Pharynx growled. “Huh?” He pointed a hoof at the copy of Canterlot Times he’d thrown onto the table. I took up the newspaper and found the cause of his ire right on the front page. The title of the article read: Shift in Royal Power Announced - Celestia and Luna Retiring, Canterlot Throne to Pass to Twilight Sparkle! I glanced wide-eyed at Pharynx and read the article. It didn’t go into too much detail - no matter, I could ask my friends about those - but the gist of it was that Celestia and Luna felt it was the right thing to do after Twilight and her friends had proven themselves more than capable of handling every threat that had popped up over the years. Twilight herself hadn’t commented on the ruling, but the reporter expressed his confidence that she was ready and determined to prove herself a worthy successor to the royal sisters. The next several pages consisted entirely of many reporters’ speculations about the process of the transfer of power, Twilight’s leadership style, how she’d handle herself in the early days of being the sole leader of the most influential country in the world, how the change would affect an average citizen, and so on and so forth. I only glanced through those pages; I could always read them later if I wanted to, but knowing Twilight personally, I hardly felt it necessary, not to mention that I could easily add a theory or two of my own to the pile! None of it mattered right now, anyway; I knew why Pharynx had brought this here. “I didn’t know anything about it,” I told him. “Then how in the name of eggshells did they come up with the exact same idea for a royal succession as you?” “I don’t know-” “Did you discuss your plans with them?” “No-” “Did Celestia and Luna tell you about their yet-to-be-announced plans for Twilight? Is that how you got your idea?” “How would they tell me? I haven’t seen either of them since Ocellus went missing!” “Didn’t Luna come to silence your nightmares almost every night for a while?” “We talked about other things, and she never stayed long enough-” “Twilight said nothing?” “No…” “The dragon?” “Pharynx, what’s the matter with you? Okay, yes, their idea is uncannily similar to mine, so what? They must have had enough of ruling after a thousand years so they went with the obvious choice to replace them!” “The timing is awfully suggestive!” “A few weeks after my ‘breaking with tradition’ as you called it?” “Yes!” “So?” “What?” I groaned. “Pharynx, why are you so upset about this?” He clenched his jaw and looked into the distance. “...it’s like they’re trying to give your move some validation just to annoy me,” he grumbled. “You still haven’t gotten over me not looking for a wife, have you?” “Are you sure you don’t want one?” he asked back. “I still can’t believe a guy with an aura like yours can’t find something in it that a wife would like…” “Things weirder than an asexual king have happened,” I said. “Yes, I’m sure.” He sighed. “So, that’s it, then? No nephews and nieces?” Wait, that was what the whole deal was about?! Or at least part of the whole deal?! “I never said that,” I countered. “There probably will be, now that some of the pressure is off my back, but unless something drastic changes, they’ll be adopted.” He smirked and a spark lit up in his aura. “Then you might want to hurry. At the rate your subjects have been adopting nymphs, there won’t be any left for you anymore pretty soon, and then someling will need to have a tragic accident so you can adopt theirs.” “Pharynx!”
