John Nome: My Life as a...*sigh*..."Brony"

by The Lonely Otaku

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Sad, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1288

Its just my life as a Brony, simple as that. What? You want a full description? Check the other one.

So, you're interested in my tale of adventure, are you?…Probably not. You were probably just looking through random stuff that has ponies to "fap" to and came across my story and said to yourself "Meh. I got time" Well, sadly, there's nothing in my story that meets your previous…"interests"…Then again, you DID search up for some "Pony Action", so maybe it'll actually help you "reach your goal" or whatever, you know?…Anyways, if you DID come to read my story, good for you! I mean, reading this story will make you sooooooo popular with the ladies, men, and/or both to your liking!…No, sorry, that's a lie too. The only people you're going to attract are pre-pubescent girls, guys fifteen to forty-three, and that creepy guy who sat in the corner in your fourth period, your freshman. What a creep, right? So, unless you're either Pedobear, a desperate woman, or me, reading this story will probably make you "twenty percent LESS cooler". Yes, I used that meme, shut up you nerds. You think of ponies doing it, don't judge me. So, if I haven't already turned you away, read my story. Like right now. I'm serious. Don't mess with me here, read it now….Thank you. Also, I just realized I used ALOT of periods right now…Well…Alright….Ok, now its getting pretty awkwar-WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS AND DON"T YOU DARE SAY IT WAS BECAUSE OF ME WRITING THIS DESCRIPTION! READ THE STORY NOW!…ok, now its getting more weird now…..Silence……..awkward……

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-09 20:44:50 UTC

Chapter One:....Shit, can't think of a title name.

So….how’s it going for you guys? Um….are you liking the story so far?...Oh wait, I haven’t written anything yet….Alright, here

we go… Uh, my name, as you can tell from the title, is John Nome. I’m not very interesting and my life is pretty dull…except that

I turned to a pony and lived in Equestria for 10 years. Oh wait…shit, I forgot to say spoilers. Sorry, ill get to that part

later….sigh…sorry, this is my first time writing a story about…well, in general. I don’t even know why I chose to written a story in

the first place but oh well. I’m already a couple of sentences in so might as well go along with it. My life, besides the spoiler

earlier, has been pretty boring. Ever since first grade, my life is basically the same thing every single day. Wake up, go to

school, eat, and go to bed. Just imagine that for almost twelve years and you just pretty much summed up my life. Yeah,

pathetic, I know, whatever. At least, when I was in pre-k, I used to be a “Hero of Justice” type of guy who beat the shit out of

other little kids who harassed other little kids. I remember this one time where these two kids were annoying a little girl by

blocking her in this little playground tunnel inside. I forgot what it was called but that’s not the point. They annoyed her so

much by this action; she did what every little generic child does when they are not happy and cried. Well, along came me

and five minutes later, one of the boys got their nose broken and the other with a sprained arm. Ah, good times. Heh, I even

remember when my dad hit me when he found out….oh wait, I haven’t even told you about my family. Maybe I should do that.

Well, my dad is Joseph Nome and he was in the Army for some time. He was a lieutenant colonel, I think. He fought in

Vietnam and was given a nickname “The Nome of ‘Nam” or something like that. He’s pretty old. Damn, how old is he now. I

know he’s old, but damn. I don’t see him much. He’s probably laying in ally, drinking to his misery or something. I haven’t

seen him much since he left my mother after third grade. If you’re wondering, my mother is dead….she…died from skin

cancer. Wow, this story has become pretty dark. From just cracking jokes about I suck at writing stories to my mother’s

death. Off to a good start, John, off to a good start. Well, anyways I have a brother who’s around his 30’s. He’s also is a

“dealer”, if you know what I mean. I’m living with him now, since our parents are…yeah. So, anyways, back to the my

childhood, the reason why I stopped being a hero is because of a event that happened while I was in Kindergarden. I won’t

tell you that though, since I already told you spoilers earlier. Also, I think this chapter is going to be all about me, in my

“human life” before I turned to a “Brony.” and since my life before the transformation is boring,  So, if you’re looking for me

turning into a magical pony that’s the next chapter….which is what im going to work on riiiiiiiggggggghhhhhttttttt now.

Chapter Two: The Story Begins

I know that you are waiting for me to be all "pony-fied" and stuff right now, but I got to derail you for a little bit. Just a quick

warning about this story. This story is not going to be detailed like other ones about random shit like "The sky was a navy

blue and the grass was being like water." I'm basically writing this story in my own words. Like in first person, you know?

Maybe in the future, as a I become a better writer and shit, but for now, fuck it. Also, each chapter is probably going to be

like a couple of pages or paragraphs.....or words, so if you're interested in a long story, look for another story, Yet, who

knows? Maybe, if it becomes popular, this story might become a journal of some sorts. So, enough of that boring crap, lets

get this thing started.

After another day of school, I finally reached the door of my "home." As I said before, when I go somewhere outside of my

home, i'd usually be anti-social and didn't talk to people that much. I'd also put in my headphones and played my music,

since I wasn't talking to people and I was usually bored. I started doing this in ninth grade, when I was a freshman. I had

really gotten into music and loved it like family. At first, when I first started wearing my headphones and listening to music in

class, they made me take off my headphones and tell me to "give them my electronics." Then, after the eleventh time, they

just gave up. That made my addiction to music grow even more. OK, so back to the story now, I was in my living room right

now. There was nothing much except just a television and a old-ass couch. The air always smelled the same as it did

yesterday...the smell of marijuana and fermented natto. My brother is, as said before is a "dealer." Whenever he's out of the

house, usually when i'm awake or there. Oh, and I forgot to mention this earlier but my brother is what people call, a "otaku."

He's really into Japanese anime and shit. I am too but not that much. He adores Japan so much is that one of the reason he

became a "Drug Dealer" was because of wanting to go to Japan fast, without doing all the hard-work normal, non-criminal

people do these days. Anyways, I walked over to my kitchen and looked inside my fridge. There wasn't much in there. Well,

there wasn't any food in there that wasn't made there already, just ingredients. My brother is always "stock-piling" the fridge

because whenever he tests out a new "product", he has the "munchies." Whenever he gets like that, he usually just plain

ingredients like garlic or olive oil or something really weird if you eat it alone, without mixing it up with other ingredients. Since

my brother usually just eat plain ingredients, I took the liberty to learn how to cook. So, looking at the ingredients I had in my

fridge. I decided to make Pizza. I took out the dough and flatten it with a rolling pin. I did all the other stuff, like tossing the

pizza in the air and shit.

Now, I was looking for some toppings to put on the pizza. As I was looking, I found these mushroom-looking things in a plastic

bag in one of the cabinets, where we put in food, of course. So, I took the mushrooms out of the bag and put them on the

pizza.  A couple of minutes later and I just made a pizza. Guess what I did next? No, no I did not do all the horrendous things

you are thinking of. I ate it....but seriously though, what the hell is wrong with you? Come on. Anyways, after I ate, I just went

to bed. Simple as that. Ha, you thought I was lying about that. Serves you right, Yeah, Yet, when I woke up, I wasn't myself

anymore....I was a pony.

So, even though I said the next chapter will be about my transformation, I got really tired about talking about me doing shit,

and I forgot about it. Next chapter, then!