//-------------------------------------------------------// John Nome: My Life as a...*sigh*..."Brony" -by The Lonely Otaku- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter One:....Shit, can't think of a title name. //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter One:....Shit, can't think of a title name. So….how’s it going for you guys? Um….are you liking the story so far?...Oh wait, I haven’t written anything yet….Alright, here we go… Uh, my name, as you can tell from the title, is John Nome. I’m not very interesting and my life is pretty dull…except that I turned to a pony and lived in Equestria for 10 years. Oh wait…shit, I forgot to say spoilers. Sorry, ill get to that part later….sigh…sorry, this is my first time writing a story about…well, in general. I don’t even know why I chose to written a story in the first place but oh well. I’m already a couple of sentences in so might as well go along with it. My life, besides the spoiler earlier, has been pretty boring. Ever since first grade, my life is basically the same thing every single day. Wake up, go to school, eat, and go to bed. Just imagine that for almost twelve years and you just pretty much summed up my life. Yeah, pathetic, I know, whatever. At least, when I was in pre-k, I used to be a “Hero of Justice” type of guy who beat the shit out of other little kids who harassed other little kids. I remember this one time where these two kids were annoying a little girl by blocking her in this little playground tunnel inside. I forgot what it was called but that’s not the point. They annoyed her so much by this action; she did what every little generic child does when they are not happy and cried. Well, along came me and five minutes later, one of the boys got their nose broken and the other with a sprained arm. Ah, good times. Heh, I even remember when my dad hit me when he found out….oh wait, I haven’t even told you about my family. Maybe I should do that. Well, my dad is Joseph Nome and he was in the Army for some time. He was a lieutenant colonel, I think. He fought in Vietnam and was given a nickname “The Nome of ‘Nam” or something like that. He’s pretty old. Damn, how old is he now. I know he’s old, but damn. I don’t see him much. He’s probably laying in ally, drinking to his misery or something. I haven’t seen him much since he left my mother after third grade. If you’re wondering, my mother is dead….she…died from skin cancer. Wow, this story has become pretty dark. From just cracking jokes about I suck at writing stories to my mother’s death. Off to a good start, John, off to a good start. Well, anyways I have a brother who’s around his 30’s. He’s also is a “dealer”, if you know what I mean. I’m living with him now, since our parents are…yeah. So, anyways, back to the my childhood, the reason why I stopped being a hero is because of a event that happened while I was in Kindergarden. I won’t tell you that though, since I already told you spoilers earlier. Also, I think this chapter is going to be all about me, in my “human life” before I turned to a “Brony.” and since my life before the transformation is boring,  So, if you’re looking for me turning into a magical pony that’s the next chapter….which is what im going to work on riiiiiiiggggggghhhhhttttttt now. //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Two: The Story Begins //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Two: The Story Begins I know that you are waiting for me to be all "pony-fied" and stuff right now, but I got to derail you for a little bit. Just a quick warning about this story. This story is not going to be detailed like other ones about random shit like "The sky was a navy blue and the grass was being like water." I'm basically writing this story in my own words. Like in first person, you know? Maybe in the future, as a I become a better writer and shit, but for now, fuck it. Also, each chapter is probably going to be like a couple of pages or paragraphs.....or words, so if you're interested in a long story, look for another story, Yet, who knows? Maybe, if it becomes popular, this story might become a journal of some sorts. So, enough of that boring crap, lets get this thing started. After another day of school, I finally reached the door of my "home." As I said before, when I go somewhere outside of my home, i'd usually be anti-social and didn't talk to people that much. I'd also put in my headphones and played my music, since I wasn't talking to people and I was usually bored. I started doing this in ninth grade, when I was a freshman. I had really gotten into music and loved it like family. At first, when I first started wearing my headphones and listening to music in class, they made me take off my headphones and tell me to "give them my electronics." Then, after the eleventh time, they just gave up. That made my addiction to music grow even more. OK, so back to the story now, I was in my living room right now. There was nothing much except just a television and a old-ass couch. The air always smelled the same as it did yesterday...the smell of marijuana and fermented natto. My brother is, as said before is a "dealer." Whenever he's out of the house, usually when i'm awake or there. Oh, and I forgot to mention this earlier but my brother is what people call, a "otaku." He's really into Japanese anime and shit. I am too but not that much. He adores Japan so much is that one of the reason he became a "Drug Dealer" was because of wanting to go to Japan fast, without doing all the hard-work normal, non-criminal people do these days. Anyways, I walked over to my kitchen and looked inside my fridge. There wasn't much in there. Well, there wasn't any food in there that wasn't made there already, just ingredients. My brother is always "stock-piling" the fridge because whenever he tests out a new "product", he has the "munchies." Whenever he gets like that, he usually just plain ingredients like garlic or olive oil or something really weird if you eat it alone, without mixing it up with other ingredients. Since my brother usually just eat plain ingredients, I took the liberty to learn how to cook. So, looking at the ingredients I had in my fridge. I decided to make Pizza. I took out the dough and flatten it with a rolling pin. I did all the other stuff, like tossing the pizza in the air and shit. Now, I was looking for some toppings to put on the pizza. As I was looking, I found these mushroom-looking things in a plastic bag in one of the cabinets, where we put in food, of course. So, I took the mushrooms out of the bag and put them on the pizza.  A couple of minutes later and I just made a pizza. Guess what I did next? No, no I did not do all the horrendous things you are thinking of. I ate it....but seriously though, what the hell is wrong with you? Come on. Anyways, after I ate, I just went to bed. Simple as that. Ha, you thought I was lying about that. Serves you right, Yeah, Yet, when I woke up, I wasn't myself anymore....I was a pony. So, even though I said the next chapter will be about my transformation, I got really tired about talking about me doing shit, and I forgot about it. Next chapter, then!