Profess To Me Your Foolhardy Dreams

by heccitsrachel

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Original Character, Rainbow Dash, Other
Length: 3454

Characters from RDP: My Little Dashie, focuses on the relationship between the Jokermort and Rainbow Dash

So uhh basically I'm fixating on RDP: My Little Dashie, y'know the video from about seven years ago. There's no content of it so I am taking it upon myself to create some.
-
The Jokermort and Rainbow Dash's relationship was an interesting one, so why not explore their dynamic in more depth? Why not give the story a different ending?

Published 2021-06-24 10:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-24 10:40:02 UTC

Things Are Looking Up

Author's Note

Okay so if you're reading this then I am going to assume that you've already seen the video of which this fic is based on. So there won't be a whole lot of explaining the universe or anything. It probably won't make any sense if you haven't seen it 💀 So I recommend doing so before reading this!!

I started the story at the ferris wheel scene because there really wasn't anything I thought I could change up until this point. The og video is great and all, but it was sad to see their relationship end so suddenly. So in this I'd like to change up the ending to where they still remain in the same universe and can have a happy ending!

In case it wasn't obvious enough, I own none of these characters. I have never had an original thought in my life so I wasn't creative enough to come up with characters such as these. The creator of this universe and video upon which this was based is Dawn Somewhere.

I hope I captured their characters correctly. This universe is so odd and interesting! I really wish the og video had been longer or had a follow up so the characters could be explored further, but hey what're you gonna do yk? For now I will do my best to supply more content from this universe! I only hope I do an okay job at it!

Things Are Looking Up

Rainbow Dash had never had such a good time in her entire life. Then again, up until now her life had consisted of her living in a cramped house of which she was terrified to leave. She always acted big and claimed to want to rebel, but her fear of being found out by the government outweighed her yearning for adventure. After all, it'd be pretty difficult to have fun if she was dissected.

How lucky it was that the Jokermort kidnapped her. He seemed a little scary at first, but he was actually very sweet. He didn't treat her like a filly the way her dad constantly did. No, this monkey treated her like an equal. If Dash was interested in something, such as the many carnival games, he would gladly explain how it worked and follow her along. He'd help her if she needed it, but it was never overbearing.

He also did his best to catch her up on everything she's missed from being sheltered for years. There were so many foods and drinks to try. There was so much music she'd never heard before. So many firsts were now with him. First beer, first karaoke song, first time in the city, first time ever letting her guard down enough to trust someone other than her dad or Lefonda. It was all so strange and wonderful. And the new monkey alongside her seemed to have a lot of respect and admiration for her. He never mocked her for what she didn't know and he'd clarify anything she didn't quite understand. He was never condescending or rude. He seemed more than happy to be by her side and assist her.

Dash told him about her fear of dissection early on and he made sure to take it seriously. Though he seemed to doubt the government actually wanting to cut her to pieces, he tried to make her more comfortable.

"There's no need to fear, Dash," he had said. "If anyone comes to take you, I'll simply pull out my wand and zap them away."

That eased her nerves greatly. His whole demeanor was so relaxed. He wasn't worried about getting caught or hurt. Maybe it was odd to trust a stranger, especially one who seemed to be her dad's worst enemy. But she couldn't help but feel safe, what with the confident and carefree way he carried himself. He promised nothing bad would happen to her and he kept his word. They made sure to stick close together while roaming the city and fair. It also helped that he kept her smiling and laughing to distract from any nerves she could have.

Now Rainbow Dash, being overly protected, knew little about romance. Oftentimes she'd listen to Lefonda talk about her boyfriend, but she hadn't imagined that she'd ever have a chance to meet anyone herself. Despite this, she couldn't ignore the feeling of butterflies in her stomach whenever the Jokermort gazed at her with adoration in his eyes.

Most of all, she couldn't get over how gentle he was when he held her on the ferris wheel. Moments ago he had used his wand to cut the electricity, stopping the ride at its highest point so the two could look over the shining city. The pair embraced, sitting in peaceful silence for a few moments as their hearts pounded in their chests.

"I predict big things for us both, Rainbow Dash," the monkey declared finally, pulling back a bit to look her in the eyes. "Between you and I, whatever else happens doesn't matter because we'll have each other."

"That's pretty cool," she replied. "I mean, my dad says that all the time. But coming from someone who's not my dad? Well, that makes me feel really special."

"You are special, dear. You're the most brilliant creature I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I hate your father, but I'm glad to be his enemy because it brought me to you. I love you, Rainbow Dash." By now both of their faces were completely red. Dash was speechless. No one had ever spoken to her like that. No one had ever made her feel so wonderful and cared for.

"Oh, wow, I love you too." There was that funny feeling in her stomach again. She wasn't quite sure what to do with it. Hug him again? Tell him that she loves him over and over? She wished she could phone Lefonda so she could know what the normal thing to do would be in a moment like this.

Thankfully, she didn't have to ponder any longer. She was brought out of her thoughts when the Jokermort took his right hand and caressed the side of her face. She leaned into the touch and smiled; her worries began to melt away. It was then that she noticed their faces inching closer to each other. Both were a bit shy, not wanting to rush and take either one of them off guard, but eventually their eyes closed and their lips met. Lefonda would sometimes mention how great kissing, or "making out" as she put it, was with her boyfriend. Once again though, it was an experience Dash never thought she would have.

It was nice. The bar was pretty low, but this was the best kiss she ever had. The beautiful atmosphere and sound of fireworks in the background certainly helped. Honestly, it felt like the aforementioned butterflies she felt exploded like fireworks in her stomach as well. The mare never knew she could feel so content and loved until now. She wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment forever with him.

Alas, that was the thought that brought her back down to earth. Hesitantly, she pulled away from him with a frown.

"Is everything alright, Dash?" Jokermort asked quietly, his voice dripping with concern upon seeing her upset.

"Well, I'm just wondering what's gonna happen when I go home," she sighed. "I don't think my dad will like me dating you. He won't even let me have friends so why would he be okay with me dating someone? I'm so happy right now. I don't want things to go back to how they were before." The blue mare felt tears welling up in her eyes. It was so dumb. She should still be in a state of bliss right now, not crying over what her dad would say or do. Would he forbid her from seeing her new boyfriend? Would this cause some sort of fight between him and his long-time enemy? Would the relationship end before it even truly began?

"Now, now, everything will be okay, dear," the small monkey promised, taking one of her hooves in his hands. "It doesn't matter what your dad thinks or does. I'll find a way to get you out of there. Who knows, maybe he and I can make amends and none of this will even be an issue." Once more, his calmness soothed her. He didn't even seem phased by the thought of something coming between them. She liked that trait of his. He always appeared so prepared for anything that came his way.

"If you don't feel like sorting out your parental predicament this evening, you're welcome to come back to my lair with me." The Jokermort's offer sounded lovely. Maybe it would make her dad angrier with her, but it would also take some stress off her shoulders for the night. Besides, she would much rather spend time with her boyfriend than her overly critical dad.

"Yeah, okay, I'd like that a lot," she replied, a small smile returning to her face. That smile only widened when she saw him beam back at her. It was then that he pulled out his wand and proceeded to teleport them both to the ground. Using his wand as a light source, as the rest of the fair was still unlit from his former scheme, they walked back to the fair entrance and got onto his moped.

Dash marveled at the bright city sights as they rode through it once again. She wondered what it would be like to live here. Surely it would be more lively than her small neighborhood. She'd certainly be closer to events such as the fair. The idea of her being able to go out whenever she pleased and make more friends made her grin. Maybe her dad was wrong about the pony dissection labs entirely. Perhaps if she explained that nothing bad had happened while she was out, then he'd allow her to have more freedom.

Despite her complaints about him, Harry Wayne was not a bad monkey. Nor was he truly a bad father. Was he a bit needy and clingy? Yes, but he wasn't being cruel to her on purpose. Dash knew this. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't at least a bit grateful for him taking care of her. That didn't erase her frustration with him not allowing her the chance to grow up though. She was lonely for so many years, only ever talking to him and Lefonda. That did take a toll on her. But it wasn't too late to make a change! The Jokermort could be right. They could make amends, ease her dad's fear of her getting taken or hurt, and things could be better for them all!

Someone Has Dad Issues

Author's Note

Fixation still going strong brrrr. I've written this all super quick bc the story is all I can really think about. While I kept some of the og dialogue, I've added a lot as well! Yk so they could have a convo that lasted more than a minute 👍

Someone Has Dad Issues

The one thing neither Dash nor her lover expected to see upon their arrival to the lair early in the morning was her dad standing there ominously in the dimly lit main room. The sight gave her a sinking feeling in her stomach. Something told her this was not going to be the pleasant meeting she had originally hoped it to be.

"Oh." The Jokermort muttered, previous smile falling from his face.

"Where have you two been?" Harry Wayne asked, a scowl upon his face. Dash didn't know how to feel. She supposed it was silly of her to think that her dad wouldn't come looking for her. He did care for her after all. It's only natural for him to want to find his missing loved one. She had hoped to make up with him, maybe make him trust her more. Instead she made him even more concerned. She may never be able to leave the house after this. All she could do was stare at the floor and wish that this was all some sort of bad dream.

"Ah well, you see, we were here." The villainous monkey tried to bluff.

"When I arrive at a kidnapping scene I expect to see a victim, the villain, and a vat of boiling acid," her dad retaliated. "But look at this. What is this? This acid isn't even lukewarm. It's room temperature."

"Are you sure? I thought I set the vat to a simmer."

"You turned it off. You didn't leave so much as a ransom note. And you, young lady," It was then that Rainbow Dash felt her dad's piercing gaze turn to her. How she wished she was still back on that ferris wheel. How was it that things turned so poorly in such a short amount of time? Just a few minutes ago she would have said that today was the best day of her life. But now? Well, this had to be the worst. She hardly even noticed her dad asking her some question about what she was thinking.

"Well, I thought, um," she stammered. Everything she wanted to say to him completely left her mind. It was all blank. She couldn't think properly with all of this pressure on her to say something, anything. "Yeah, w-we got, um, I had some wheat beer. That was pretty cool." Seriously? THAT is what she chose to say? She felt tears begin to prick at her eyes. How could things possibly get any worse?

Her dad stood there and lectured her for a minute, telling her off for having beer and for the costume she was wearing. It all sounded fuzzy to Dash though. She was too overwhelmed and upset to hear properly.

"You are a bad villain. You should be ashamed. You are not allowed to kidnap my daughter again," her dad practically spat. That caught her attention. She finally looked up and met her boyfriend's eyes. He looked just as devastated as she felt. This couldn't be the end, could it? She didn't want to accept that. It wasn't fair. He was a good guy. She was completely fine. Why was he still doing this? It didn't make sense to Dash.

The next thing she knew, there was a blinding flash of light.

Before she even got to say goodbye, her dad used his magic to transport them back to their house. There they stood in the bleak, gray, pathetic excuse of a living room. Dash knew it would be wise to listen to her dad and not bother fighting. It was unlikely that he would listen to her. Still, she couldn't quite stifle the feelings she was experiencing right now. She had to say something.

"Why would you do that?" She cried, glaring at the monkey in front of her. "He's actually a really nice guy!" The look upon her dad's face could only be described as utter shock. He huffed and crossed his arms. It was as though he thought the outcome of all this would be different. What, did he expect her to thank him for isolating her for years and now forbidding her from seeing the guy she loved?

"What do you mean he's a nice guy? He's my enemy, Dash. Are you insane?"

"No! Maybe, I don't know," she was definitely regaining a lot of her confidence. She was more angry than sad right now. The things she'd been planning on saying to him were returning to her memory. "But we sang a song together and he didn't dissect me or anything! And I don't see what's so wrong about dating the Jokermort. He promised me that he'd be nice."

"He's a villain, Dashie!" Her dad exclaimed. "Villains aren't nice. He's lying to you. It's clear that he's using you to get to me. Of course you wouldn't understand that. You have no experience with these sorts of things."

"Yeah and whose fault is that?" The rainbow-maned mare retorted. "You're the one who has always refused to let me meet anyone new. Besides, if what you're saying is true then why didn't he leave a ransom note? He took me out, we had a great time, and he didn't ask anything of you. He was very sweet to me. You make him, and everyone else on the planet, out to be a villain. If you had just given him a chance to speak then you would've known that he wanted to recompense for everything he's done."

"Well, I still think-"

"And why is it exactly that I can never leave the house?" Dash continued angrily, not acknowledging her dad's attempts to talk. "I didn't get dissected all day, but you always told me I'd get dissected!"

"Oh my god I cannot believe what I am hearing," he finally snapped back. He looked just as angry as she was, making big gestures with his arms as he spoke. "The only reason you didn't get dissected is because that heathen kept you with him the whole day. Was it not for him being around you would've been taken for sure." That ridiculous claim made her roll her eyes.

"Really? That's the excuse you're going with? For one, your argument proves how kind he is. If he was really as evil as you try to make him seem then he would've dissected me himself, thrown me into that acid, kept me tied up all day, or given me up to the researchers. He didn't do any of that though. In fact, the whole day he made sure no one came close to dissecting me. But the thing is: no one even tried! I didn't see anyone from the government or the pony dissection labs. There was nothing to worry about. He didn't need to protect me because there wasn't anything to protect me from."

"Maybe you were just lucky yesterday," he suggested with a shrug after a moment, as if she hadn't said anything noteworthy. "They might not have been looking around this area. This doesn't change a thing. He's a bad guy and you're not allowed to see him again. He's not to be trusted and I don't want to risk you getting hurt, Dash." Just like that, her anger dissipated. She was still upset, but she felt more sad than anything.

"Why can't you just let me be happy?" The blue mare sighed. "I hate it here. I'm so bored and lonely all the time. I don't have any friends. All you do is hug, feed, and bathe me. Then I go and meet someone else and you freak out. I want to do more with my life. I want to get out of the house. Why can't you let me do that?"

"That is quite enough, Rainbow Dash." That statement was said so monotonely, with his face no longer showing any sort of emotion. It made her feel hopeless, like she would never get through to him. Maybe she never would. Maybe she was simply meant to do as she was told and stay put. Mere days ago she enjoyed fighting the power. This was mainly because of the hope she had for a better future. She always hoped to leave the house and meet other people. Certainly when that happened everything would improve. Well, now that it happened it appeared as though nothing would change. She was stuck. She didn't have much hope right now.

"I don't want to speak to you ever again." Those were her final words to her dad before storming upstairs. She didn't know what was going to happen. She knew she didn't want to mope around forever, but a little bit of moping probably wouldn't hurt. There was nothing else she could do at this moment in time anyway. She laid on her back on the cold, messy floor and sobbed for what seemed like an eternity. Then again, every moment in this lonesome house seemed like forever. The only thing that snapped her out of her thoughts was the sound of the landline in the room ringing. Dash wiped her eyes and trudged over to answer it.

"Hey girl, is everything okay? I figured I should check on you after what happened yesterday." The familiar sound of Lefonda's voice filled her ears and brought a minuscule smile to the pony's face. If anything could brighten up such a gloomy day, it was chatting with her only friend.

"Oh wow, you won't believe the day I've had."