Princess Twilight Sparkle is a pony who has always loved reading books. Or reading anything really.
Even after discovering the magic of friendship and later becoming an alicorn princess, Twilight’s innate love for reading remained. Thus, when not performing princess duties, solving her friends’ problems, or struggling to crack the mystery of what Fluttershy’s job is, Twilight often spent her time reading books.
However, at this moment in her library, the Princess of Friendship took it a step further.
As expected, Twilight had her muzzle in a book. However, she also lay under stacked books, all carefully constructed in the shape of a castle, ten ponies tall. The “castle” held a flag displaying three books on its roof. In her mind, Twilight was the “Princess of Books”, a title she had frequently granted herself as a filly, because why wouldn’t she?
“Ah, Spike’s visiting Ember for the day and Starlight will be with Trixie for hours,” Twilight said, wearing a blissful smile. “I can lie here and not worry about one of them accidentally seeing me in my ‘book fortress’.”
*Knock knock knock!*
She jumped, her pupils shrinking. “Eep! S-Spike, Starlight?! I-I thought you would be gone longer!”
From behind one of the library’s closed double doors, a feminine voice said, “No, it’s me, Celestia. I’m sorry for coming unannounced, but there is something very important I need to talk to you about, alone. May I come in?”
“R-really? Uh...give me a minute.” Twilight’s horn glowed magenta. Each book of her book fortress whizzed onto bookshelves lining the walls in a book blizzard. The flag that was on top floated under her couch.
The fortress dealt with, Twilight levitated the book she had been reading, and dashed to and hopped onto the couch with it. “Okay, you can come in.”
The door cracked open in gold magic, revealing Princess Celestia. She carried a book in her magic and, as always, her mane flowed majestically. “Again, I’m sorry for this out-of-the-blue visit. I hope I’m not interrupting you.”
Twilight dismissively waved a hoof. “Interrupting? You? Nah, I was just doing a little reading. Spike and Starlight will be gone for a while, so I have the whole castle to myself.”
Celestia strode into the library. She glanced toward the bookshelves and giggled. “I see you out-grew your ‘book fortress’ phase.”
“O-of course! I’m a grown mare, and grown mares don’t lay around in ridiculous book fortresses all day! Ha ha ha?” The big filly at heart grinned sheepishly.
“Yes, I suppose it was a bit silly to think you still sometimes read in them.” Celestia let out one last titter, then her cheerful smile waned. “But that aside, back to why I came: I need to talk to you about something.”
Twilight’s sheepish grin sunk. “Is it about a new threat?”
Celestia shook her head. “No, there’s no threat to deal with. It’s just that there is something you haven’t done yet.”
“There is?” Twilight rubbed her cheek. “I don’t remember there being anything I’m supposed to do.” She gasped, her lips wilting into a frown. “But if there is and I forgot, I’m sorry! I can gather my checklists for this week and see if I...”
After a warm chuckle, Celestia strode to Twilight’s couch and laid her wing on Twilight’s cheek, immediately quieting the panicking. “Don’t worry. You didn’t forget, because I never informed you of it. Not even you can do tasks you’re unaware of.”
The stress building in Twilight’s eyes deflated. “Oh. Well, what do I have to do?”
“First, let’s go over a few things.” Celestia set her book onto a table, beside a photo of Twilight, Spike, and Starlight, all smiling. She sat beside Twilight and wrapped a motherly wing around the younger Princess. “As you know, like me, you are an alicorn princess, and you have been a wonderful one.” Celestia gazed upward, her smile deepening. “I’m certain that you will surpass me as a pony and princess, and take your place among the greatest alicorn princesses of all time.”
A heated blush built on Twilight’s cheek, and she bashfully pawed her couch with a hoof. “Aw, thank you, Princess Celestia, but I haven’t been that good a princess. I will never be able to hold a candle to you.”
“Hehe, still as modest as always.” Celestia unwrapped her wing around Twilight and stood up. “Regardless, you faced all challenges that came your way, overcame them, and you have done amazing things. In fact, you have been too amazing.”
“Wait, ‘too amazing’?” Twilight asked, her ears drooping. “Is that even possible?”
Celestia nodded. “Yes. With your friends by your side and your intelligence to escape tight spots, it prevented you from becoming a true princess. However, that’s why I’m here to tell you about it.”
“A ‘true princess’? Okay, what must I do to become a true princess? Solve some more friendship problems or give more friendship speeches, because I have practiced fifteen different–”
“It’s nothing like that either, but I should warn that it may be very surprising to hear. So, no matter what I say, try not to faint.”
Twilight nodded affirmatively. “I won’t.”
“Good.” She grimaced and straightened out a wing. “Ugh, I think I slept on that wing by mistake last night. Anyway, Twilight, are you ready?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
Twilight nodded, her eyes screaming with confidence. “I’m sure.”
“Good.” Celestia straightened her stance and raised her head. “Now, to become a true princess, you must be ponynapped by a villain.”
One of Twilight’s ears flopped. Her pupils collapsed, but they oozed “vacancy”; the same went for the rest of her motionless body oozing vacancy.
“Did you hear me?”
“...”
“Twilight?”
Twilight “answered” with a moan. Her eyes closed, and she fell onto her side.
Celestia sighed at the KO-ed by words mare and thought, ‘Well, she tried.’
The elder alicorn walked to Twilight and rolled her onto her stomach–a more comfortable position than on her side, especially for ponies with wings. She followed up with floating Twilight's book, still beside her, onto the table. ‘Hmm. She’ll probably snap out of it soon, but maybe I should get a blanket–’
“I MUST WHAT?!” Twilight roared, her eyes flying open.
“I-I know it sounds...unorthodox,” Celestia said in a calming voice, “but it is just something all alicorns must do to be true princesses.”
“But why? How will getting ponynapped make me a true princess? In fact, what is a ‘true’ princess? What even is a true princess?”
“To be honest” – Celestia rubbed the back of her neck – “it’s not clear what changes when alicorns become true princesses, at least while they are alive. But, it is in ‘The Book’ that we are required to be ponynapped and saved to become true princesses.”
“Huh? ‘The book’? What book?”
“This.” Celestia floated her book off Twilight’s table and toward Twilight herself.
“I’ve never seen that book before.” Twilight pushed herself up on her couch to sit on her haunches and leaned her head toward Celestia’s book. She raised an eyelid. “Its name really is ‘The Book’?”
“Yes. Its name may be...uncreative, but ‘The Book’ contains many facts, such as knock-knock jokes being the oldest trick and banning cakes is worse than killing a pony. But most importantly, it states every alicorn must be ponynapped and rescued at least once to become a true princess.”
“Oh. But if nothing about me will be different even as a true princess, why should I go through the trouble of getting ponynapped? It’s...being ponynapped!”
“Because ‘The Book’ states if an alicorn dies before becoming a true princess, something horrible will happen to her spirit in the afterlife, but it doesn’t say what she’d endure.” Celestia levitated ‘The Book’ to the table again. “That is why alicorns must become true princesses, despite the risks being ponynapped will hold. For a while, I was worried that I might have never become one, and even alicorns don't live forever.”
“I...see.” Twilight raised her hoof–the closest a pony could come to snapping non-existent fingers. “Wait, I was ponynapped before! Remember when Queen Chrysalis captured me when she disguised herself as Cadance?”
“Yes, but not only were you not an alicorn yet, but you also freed yourself and Cadance. You must be ponynapped and saved as an alicorn for it to count.”
“Then, in that case, I was, kinda, ponynapped in a village known as ‘Our Town’ as an alicorn.”
Celestia’s eyes widened. “Wait, you were?! Who did it?! When did it happen?!”
“Uh…” Twilight’s ears drooped. She shrank away on her couch. “Right...I never told you about it or Starlight’s past. You see...”
Twilight told Celestia about Starlight’s Cutie Mark stealing “phase” and subsequent time travel scheme for revenge. Feeling oddly playful, Twilight referred to her one-on-one magic duels with Starlight with “pew pew pew”.
Her mouth agape from the story, Celestia muttered, “Wow. I thought the only unicorn still out there that could even remotely rival your abilities was Sunset Shimmer.”
With big, pleading eyes and a matching frown, Twilight said, “Now, I know Starlight was seriously in the wrong, but she’s sorry for it and is trying her best to learn friendship under me. Please don’t be mad or punish her, because I don’t think punishing her is necessary.”
“What I’m wondering the most is why didn’t that pony enroll in my school?” Celestia lightly smacked her head to help shake off her shock of Starlight’s magical prowess. “Given Starlight grew that strong all by herself, she could have been one of my top students and even been a great rival to help push you. At any rate, you and your friends saved yourselves in ‘Our Town’, so you still aren’t a true princess yet.”
A smile curled on the Princess of the Day’s lips. “But the good news is that Starlight being your student actually works out perfectly.”
“It does?” Twilight tilted her head from curiosity.
“Yes. If you were to get ponynapped and Starlight saves you, she could redeem herself for her...past and let you become a true princess in the process!” Celestia giggled, looking toward the picture of Twilight, Spike, and Starlight. “It’s funny how things can come full circle: you let me become a true princess, and now your student can do the same for you!”
Twilight winced. “Uh...I’m not sure about this. Redeeming herself is something Starlight would want, but she’s...not the most stable pony under pressure. Wait, why can’t my friends save me? N-not that Starlight isn’t my friend, but–”
“That was my first thought too, but you all face villains together, so you may have to all be taken.” Celestia pointed a hoof at “The Book” lying on the table. “In addition, ‘The Book’ states only alicorns are allowed to know the secret of what makes us true princesses, so we won’t even be able to explain the situation to your friends. Oh, and while we’re at it, Flurry Heart should get her ponynapping over with as well.”
“‘The Book’ is starting to sound like it’s part of a joke,” Twilight commented flatly.
“I can assure you it’s not.” Celestia massaged her sore wing, then pointed at herself as she added, “I was planning to be the pony to save you, but now that I know about Starlight’s past, it would be better overall if she does it instead.” ’Otherwise, I might have to punch her for stealing your Cutie Mark even though you have it back.’
Twilight took a big breath. It would be a dangerous gamble, but Starlight Glimmer needed a big heroic moment to prove herself worthy of truly being redeemed. “Uh...I still have doubts, but if I must do it for my spirit’s sake and you think Starlight can handle saving us, I...will be willingly ponynapped. Who is going to do it?”
“We will need to hammer out the details, and a temporary weakening spell may need to be cast on your friends before the battle to ensure the ponynapping is successful. But, I believe the best choice to ponynap you all is…”
Three days later, in the throne room deep in the chilling Changeling Hive…
Queen Chrysalis stood before her subjects; the latter obediently lined in rows. With a pride-filled smirk, Chrysalis paced side to side as she said, “Wonderful. I may not praise you often, but your last five training sessions were flawless. I am proud to say that you all should be ready to take on even alicorns now if you work together, even without me.” She laughed in her sinister cackle; she loves doing that. “Those friendship-loving ponies won’t know what hit them when they face the new and improved changeling army! We will have Princess Celestia begging for–”
A new changeling flew into the throne room from one of the numerous tunnels connecting into it, carrying an envelope. “Queen Chrysalis! Pharynx just found this near the hive! It’s addressed to you.”
“Me? Who would send me a letter?” Chrysalis’s horn glowed in a green light. The envelope floated over to her, and she tore an edge open and yanked out the enclosed letter. “Now, let’s see…”
Dear second-rate Queen Chrysalis.
I know it would be foolish for you to show your face to me again, but I thought you would have had the guts to try by now! In fact, I DARE you to ponynap me, my sister, niece, grandniece, and especially Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends! Running Equestria can be stressful, and I could use a laugh.
However, feel free to be too scared to take my challenge.
Your better, Princess Celestia.
P.S. Ponies are the champs, you are a chump.
Chrysalis’s teeth gritted. A deep growl rolled from her mouth. “Somepony’s cruising for a bruising.”
A picture slipped out of the envelope and near one of Chrysalis’s hooves. A changeling pointed a hoof toward it. “Wait, something fell out.”
Chrysalis stared down toward her hooves and picked up the picture. She gritted her teeth even harder than before, green fire blazing in her eyes.
“Oh, mail me a picture of your flank too will you, Celestia?! That really does it!” The seething Queen tossed the photo behind her. “All of you, listen up! I was going to let them be for a few more months, but after getting that letter, we are going pony hunting in ten days!”
“Aw, but that’s when we’re supposed to go deer hunting!” One of the changelings pointed out in a whine. “You promised!”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Okay, then we’ll go pony hunting in seven days! We’ll be done in time for–”
A second changeling whined, “But our bi-monthly spying on Princess Twilight is in seven days!”
“What?!” Chrysalis facehoofed. “You are still doing that?! I told you all a hundred times that if she could go crazy, it would have already happened!”
“But I know she’s close to losing it and she’s funny to watch, so can’t we leave her alone for a little longer?” A third changeling asked. “She’s leaving us alone.”
“Please?” the rest of the changelings asked simultaneously.
“Why can’t you all be more like Pharynx?” Chrysalis glanced over the swarm, her inner mother wilting to the begging eyes staring at her. “There’s no arguing with you lot sometimes. Ugh, fine, we’ll go pony hunting in a month, and no later! Understand?”
“Yes!” The changelings cheered with hisses.
“Good!” Chrysalis stomped toward one of the many tunnels leading out of the throne room as she muttered, “Nymphs. It was never said being a parent would be easy, but geez!”
After Chrysalis disappeared down a tunnel, a male changeling crept to Celestia’s “picture”. His cheeks red, he scooped it up and silently flew down a different tunnel Chrysalis stomped down. Five other male changelings saw his action and followed him.
No changeling had ever claimed that they don’t think ponies can be hot.
Inside Princess Celestia’s bedroom, five weeks and one heroic rescue later…
*Snore snore*
Princess Celestia lay spread over her bed on her stomach, half-covered in a blue blanket. Her normally flowing regal mane was still and ragged.
Not the most regal sleeper in Equestria, but Celestia never claimed that she sleeps like a princess. She definitely doesn’t eat cake like one.
With a poof, Discord teleported into the room and in front of a bookshelf. He floated “The Book” off the shelf, opened it, tore out a page, and returned it to its original spot. His chaotic magic had alerted him to the real reason for the previous ponynapping, but only after it happened for reasons even he wasn't sure of.
He glared toward the snoring alicorn. “What that thing said about how alicorns become ‘true princesses’ was a joke. I didn’t think you'd actually believe it when I ‘modified’ your book 1,045 years ago!"
Discord huffed with his arms crossed and added, "You probably even forgot you wrote it, Old Mare Celly.”
Author's Note
I can't do anything to Princess Celestia because Twilight made me promise never to when I reformed. However, mark my words: while I can't get back at Celestia for her plan, I am going to get Discord for his "joke" someday! I was never so scared in my whole life when I had to face the changelings and without my magic!! I will do whatever it takes for my friends, but you know me, I can be a nervous mess on the inside! Have you seen some of the stuff I have done when I got too nervous?!
It was a miracle that I held my friends, much less me, together.
Now, I really shouldn't know why Twilight let herself be ponynapped or that she even did let herself get ponynapped. But a little birdie told me something was wrong, so I used my magic to break the fourth wall and read this story since I wasn't in it. Not bad, but at least that lazyflank, uh, lazybutt isn't awful in his grammar like he used to be. Geez!
Hee hee, I will have some fun with Twilight about her "book fortress". Don't worry, I won't tell anypony about it, not even Spike.
-Starlight Glimmer
