Anon, The Cuddle Slut: Rework

by DatZigga

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Sex, Profanity, Slice of Life, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Comedy
Length: 5298

Anonymous solicits mares for an unknown purpose

Anonymous solicits mares for an unknown purpose. It's up to Twilight and Pinkie to get to the bottom of the mysterious human's secret enterprise.

Entry for CategoricalGrant's Cuddlefic Contest!

Now with a reading from StraightToThePointStudios!

Published 2021-06-28 06:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-28 06:10:00 UTC

Whores do it for money...

Life in Ponyville was never normal. Whether it be a bug bear attack, a magical duel, a chaos God visiting, or a battle between beings of extraordinary power, something in Ponyville was always happening. Even just recently, a bipedal monkey-like creature was found living in the Everfree forest by none other than the baby dragon Spike himself. Now, he lived among them in the odd, quaint village.

This human, “Anonymous” he preferred to be called, had built quite a reputation for himself. After participating and leading in repelling the Storm King’s advance on Ponyville, he was seen as a force of good. However, his abrasive attitude, vulgarity, and overall unpleasantness made him a resident to avoid. Over time, he had mellowed out, but even the youngest foal could tell that Anon would rather be anywhere else at any given time. Anon was a natural loner.

Ponyville’s night life was practically nonexistent. The dull chirping of crickets and other insects began to echo around town. The marketplace, which was once bustling with bargaining and laughter, now only held weary merchants packing up their booths. The lights in Ponyville’s homes came to life, one by one, to counter the coming darkness.

Twilight Sparkle was taking an evening stroll around Ponyville. It was a strange compulsion she had ever since she was a filly; to walk and bask in the moments whether the light and warmth of the sun met and engaged with the cool and quiet of the dark. She wandered around, waving at the merchants, listening to the noisy wildlife, and gazing at the street lamps around her. As her eyes danced across the city, she spotted an unusual sight: Anonymous, resting against the side of Sugarcube Corner’s wall.

“Good evening, Anon!” Twilight greeted the tall man. She trotted closer to him, although she could swear she saw him roll his eyes. “It sure is nice out tonight! Not to be rude, but I didn’t think I’d see you out of your house, let alone in the city center.”

Anon crossed his arms. “Yeah, well, I’m entitled to go outside every now and then, right?” He said, in an almost accusing tone. Twilight gulped unconsciously.

“N-no, I mean, y-yes! Of course you’re welcome to explore Ponyville.” Twilight stuttered. Twilight spent a good amount of time with Anonymous, so she recognized this trick. Anon was attempting to make her feel guilty for even bringing up the question. Back then, it was a way to make her uncomfortable and get her to leave the asocial human alone. Now, it worked a lot less, but still felt bad to confront.

“But, I was just curious as to why you were out so late.” Twilight pushed on in her conversation. “I could never convince you to come out on your own.”

“I just wanted to.” Anon answered. Short and to the point.

And yet, Twilight felt like it was elusive. Such an answer wasn’t really an answer at all. Anonymous always did have an air of mystery around him, fitting for his name. It only made it harder to really understand him. Twilight figured that was the point.

Twilight didn’t want to leave the human alone though, so she paid more attention to his disposition to find something they could talk about. She noticed that Anon was in suit and tie. This wasn’t entirely out of the ordinary, he’s worn it before. But there’s only so many reasons to wear one, especially at night.

“Are you meeting someone tonight?” Twilight asked, bracing for another non-answer.

She was shocked to see a moment of panic in Anon’s eyes, as they widened like a deer caught in the path of a runaway wagon. Anon shifted in his stance, pulling his body closer together. He took in a breath to calm himself as stealthily as possible.

“No.” Anon answered finally. Twilight stood there, awaiting a deeper explanation that never came.

Before Twilight could prod further she was interrupted by a loud-“PSSSSSSSSST!”

Twilight looked to the corner of the building where Pinkie was-“PSSSSSSSSST! Twiliight! Over here!”

Anon pointed to Pinkie with his thumb. “Might want to go see what she wants.”

Twilight sighed exhaustively and trotted over to Pinkie, doing her worst job as being discreet. As Twilight rounded the corner, she found Pinkie pinning her back against the wall.

“Pinkie, what is this-“ Twilight’s mouth was lodged with a sudden pink hoof.

“Shush! He might be listening to us still.” Pinkie peered around the corner to find Anon glaring back at her. With a gasp, she ducked back around the corner. She eyes Twilight and motions for her to follow as she runs back into Sugarcube Corner. Twilight sighs and teleports to Pinkie’s room.

Despite instantaneous teleportation, Pinkie had somehow managed to beat her there. Twilight found Pinkie peering over the window, a pair of binoculars in hooves. She stared down directly on Anon’s head.

“Pinkie!” Twilight shouted to get the pink pony’s attention. “What are you doing?”

Pinkie briefly pulled herself away from her binoculars to address Twilight. “Spying.” She diligently returned to the act.

Twilight stood in stunned silence. “Why?” Pinkie again turned to Twilight.

“Because Anon’s been acting strange these days.”

“Just because somepony is acting strange, doesn’t mean you should just spy on them.” Twilight trotted over and took the binoculars from the spastic mare.

“But you spied on me when I told you about my Pinkie sense!” Pinkie bit down on the levitating binoculars, which only carried her into the air. Twilight shook the binoculars to try and pry them from her teeth, but to no avail.

“And I have since learned from that experience, Pinkie! Anon is free to wander Ponyville whenever he likes without interruptions.” Twilight glared at Pinkie, still dangling from mid-air.

With a whimper, Pinkie falls to the floor. “You’re right, Twilight. I shouldn’t be spying on others.”

Pinkie hunches over the window sill, defeated. Twilight, a twinge of guilt in her stomach, trotted to Pinkie’s side and laid a hoof on her back.

“I know you and Anon have a, er, unique dynamic, but sometimes, it’s best to just leave him be.”

“Even when he’s flirting with Ms. Cheerilee?”

“Yes, even when he’s flirting with-WHAT?!”

Twilight peered over the window’s pane. Anon and Ms. Cheerilee were indeed talking beneath them. The two ponies strained their ears to hear them.

“Oh, stop, Anonymous!” Ms. Cheerilee pleaded. Her dark coat failed to hide her increasingly rosy cheeks. “You can’t say such things in public.”

“There’s no one but us out her, Teach.” Anon assured the mare. He took her hoof in his hand. “Besides, you know how good I am at being discreet.” He gave Cheerilee a sly wink, which made the school teacher giggle nervously.

“W-well, I am grateful for that.” Cheerilee rubbed her forleg with a tepid hoof, as though she was afraid what she might say next would scare the human away. “I wanted to discuss our usual...payment.”

Anon nodded. “Having trouble making ends meet again?” Cheerilee gave a guilty look.

“You know how hard it can be. Living alone, with no special somepony to help pay the bills. And Mayor Mare has been dodging me lately.” Cheerilee was set to continue, until Anon pressed a finger to her lips.

“Say no more, sista’. As a bachelor myself, I can relate. Let’s just say you cashed in your reward points for a free night, alright?” Anon gave a sly wink to the mare, who blushed even harder.

“A-Anon!” Before the flustered pony could say anymore, Anon bent over and picked up the mare with a grunt.

“Now, come on. The night isn’t getting any younger.”

Twilight and Pinkie watched as the two made their way in the direction of Anonymous’s home, just on the outskirts of Ponyville. Twilight stood in the window, jaw agape in shock. Pinkie casually lifted Twi’s lower jaw to connect back with her upper jaw. Twilight shook from her daze.

“Did you see that, Pinkie?” Twilight nearly shouted, barely containing her bewilderment.

“Well, duh!” Pinkie responded. “I was watching with you!”

“Oh. Yeah. Right.” Twilight backed away from the window and started pacing the room. “I want to be happy for Anon but something about that conversation strikes me as…off.” Pinkie paced right behind Twilight.

“Well, what could’ve possibly been so off about it?” Pinkie asked. “I mean, all that happened was that Anon and Cheerilee made a secret deal to meet in private for an unspecified service that would normally require payment. What’s wrong with that?”

Twilight casted an unamused glance at Pinkie. “That’s just it. What could Anon be doing that needs to be secret?”

“Soooooooo…” Pinkie dragged the word out with a grin. “Are you saying that I was right to spy on him?”

“What? No!” Twilight quickly defended herself. “Anon is allowed to have his secrets, a-and we shouldn’t be going to pry into his business. If he wants to, ahem, “pursue” a romantic relationship with Ms. Cheerilee, than who’s place is it for anypony to stop him.

“Well, maybe Mayor Mare, Rose Luck, Lyra Heartsrings, Bon Bon…” Pinkie listed off the names of several more mares in town, each one contorting Twilight’s face in confusion.

“Wait, Pinkie what do any of them have to do with Anon and Cheerilee?” She finally interrupted.

“Oh, well Anon was talking to all of them the exact same way!”

“The same way?” Twilight cocked a brow.

“Uh huh!” Pinkie nodded her head. “For the past few days, Nonny would stand outside Sugarcube Corner, just waiting. Then, one of the mares around town would approach him, and they would head back to Anon’s house. Then, Anon would come right back to Sugarcube Corner and do it all over again with a different mare!”

The two sat in silence, letting Pinkie’s story hang in the air for a bit. After silent deliberation, Twilight stood.

“I think we should go pay Anonymous a visit.” Twilight said sternly.

“And spy on him?” Pinkie asked hopefully.

“No!” Twilight yelled. “We’re going to have a talk with him about special someponies and how you should treat them. We can’t just let him break all those poor mare’s hearts!” Twilight made her way to the door. “Are you coming, Pinkie?”

Twilight turned to find the spastic pink mare rummaging through a chest in the corner of the room. “Oh, yeah! Just grabbing a few things.”

By now, the night was fully upon the town. Luna’s moon elegantly shone over the flora, as Twilight and Pinkie travelled down the dirt road towards Anonymous’s house. The two traveled side by side, with Pinkie promising the whole way. Twilight was a bit confused to see that Pinkie wasn’t carrying anything, given that she held them up for some time to “grab a few things.”

Ahead of them, on the same dirt road, was Ms. Cheerilee, much to their surprise. Ms. Cheerilee trotted toward them, her eyes closed and a blissful smile stretched from ear to ear.

“Ms. Cheerilee?” Twilight called out up ahead. When Cheerilee saw the two mares approaching, Cheerilee’s grin froze on her face, her eyes widened in shock and fear. She gave a tepid wave of her hoof and passed by them, hastening her trot. Pinkie squinted toward the fleeing old mare.

“Suspicious. Very suspicious.” Pinkie rubbed at her chin with a hoof.

“Well, keep your suspicions to yourself, Pinkie.” Twilight scowled, nudging the pony. “We’re here.” Twilight pointed ahead to Anon’s house. It was unimpressive against the backdrop of the night sky and the looming Everfree just beyond. Just a quaint little home for an abnormal stallion. The two mares stand just beyond the front yard, bushes lining the edges of a worn picket fence.

“So, Twilight,” Pinkie asks quizzically. “How are we gonna do this? You take the front and I take the rear? Or maybe I use my charisma and charm while you tackle him from behind? Or maybe-”
“Or maybe I just go and ask what’s going on?” Twilight asked, knowing that if she didn’t interrupt, Pinkie would’ve kept going until Celestia raised the sun. “This isn;t some kind of secret mission, Pinkie.”

“You’re right.” Pinkie conceded, much to Twilight’s surprise. Only that surprise was supplanted by a new surprise as Pinkie suddenly picked Twilight up and dropped her into one of the bushes. “It’s my secret mission! I’m going to go play the role of an innocent victim while you watch my flank!”

“Pinkie.” Twilight started before Pinkie bombarded her with equipment up to and including, a pair of binoculars, two cans of soup tied to a string, a skintight catsuit, and a grappling hook.

“You’re going to need these two, since I’m the bait. Okayloveyoubye!” Pinkie rushed off through the front yard, a pink blur.

“Pinkie!” Twilight called out, exasperated by the pink one’s sudden departure. With a huff, Twilight banished the idea of giving chase, as no amount of reason would sway a determined Pie. Getting comfy in her bush, she noticed that she was left with both ends of the makeshift telephone. Twilight let out a deep sigh.

Pinkie pronked to the front door, gleeful but determined. She was going to uncover the dark secrets that Anonymous held. One could only imagine the horror he was subjecting the poor mares of Ponyville to. Pinkie shuddered as the images came to her. But, with a shake of her head, she regained her resolve and knocked on the door. After a good 10 secs of continuous, non-stop knocking, Anonymous opened the door.

“Oh, it’s just you, Pinkie.” Anon commented.

“Yup, that’s right! And no one else~!” Pinkie turned to wink back at the bush Twilight was hiding in, in full view of Anonymous. He blinked away his confusion, learning long ago to never question Pinkie Pie.

“So...what brings you out here exactly?” Anon leaned against the door framed. Pinkie hadn’t noticed it until now, but Anon wasn’t in his usual suit, but a silk bathrobe. The kind that Rarity often wears. However, both it’s material and design wasnt that of a bathrobe you’d use for bathing. Regardless, Pinkie didn’t let Anon in sexy sleepwear distract her from her mission.

“Oh, you know why I’m here.” Pinkie asked knowingly, squinting at Anon with the pure intent of catching him in the act of...whatever act he was doing. Upon hearing those words, Anon perked up. He peered outside the door to his left and right, before squatting down to Pinkie’s eye level.

“You saw the message then, did you?” Anon started in a very hushed tone. The sudden change in his behavior caused Pinkie to waver a bit.

“Uh, message?” Pinkie asked, hoping it didn’t sound like she was asking.

“The one in the town hall restroom?” Anon asked, now growing suspicious of the mare. Pinkie started sweating bullets. “We are talking about the same thing, right?”

“Pffft, yeah, duh! I mean, what else could we even be talking about?” Pinkie rubbed a foreleg, her nerves being completely shot.

Anon stood back up and crossed his arms. “Oh yeah, what did the message on the restroom door say?”

“Uh…” Pinkie stalled. Her eyes darted between a million different points of uninterest. Finally, she uttered something: “Call me for a good time?” Anon blinked.

“I’m almost positive you guessed that but it was so close I was almost impressed.” Anon admitted, before swinging the door open a little more. “Look, I finished the last of my appointments and as long as you’re not a narc, I could pen you in.”

“Yes!” Pinkie leaped into the air triumphantly, stopping mid-air as she was face-to-face with an unamused human. She slowly fell back to the floor with a sheepish grin. “Hehe, I mean, lead the way, my good man!”

Twilight could see Anon shake his head through the binoculars as he led the pink pony into his home. Once the door closed, that was the last of what Twilight could see. She lowered the binoculars, then let out a little yelp as the zipper of the catsuit pinched at her skin. Why she humored Pinkie and wore the suit was beyond even her but she was more worried by what it meant that Pinkie’s clothes of all ponies couldn’t fit her.

“Maybe I should lay off the hayburgers.” Twilight muttered. She stepped out of the bush and walked slowly to the window. Making sure to keep low, she peered in to see Pinkie sitting on Anon’s worn, red couch. Anon was in the kitchen area, pouring two glasses of cider.

“Alright, Pinke,” Anon started, preoccupied with pouring the cider. “In front of you is a contract. On it, it should detail all that this session entails. The service is free, but if you feel like tipping, there’s also a bowl to deposit bits.”

Pinkie looked down at the contract before her. Instead of reading, she immediately located the pen and signed the paper. When Anon came around the couch and set the drinks down, he was greeted by Pinkie smiling innocently, her tail swishing behind her.

“You didn’t read the contract, did you?” Anon asked, looking at the loose scribbles on the sheet.

“And ruin the surprise?!” Pinkie gasped in mock horror. Anon let out another sigh and set the paper down on an end table.
“Whatever, but just know you signed a contract!” Anon yelled over his shoulder as he walked towards the window. Coincidentally, the one Twilight was staring in from. She quickly ducked her head down before Anon could notice her in the dark. Just above her, she heard the sound of the curtain being pulled. When she popped back up, she was only met with the sight of a maroon sheet.

Anon walked back to the couch and sat next to Pinkie. “Alright, with privacy assured we can begin.”

Pinkie was overcome with a sudden case of nerves. With the curtains drawn, even the moonlight was prevented from entering the space. Not only that, but her only lifeline was outside, leaving her alone in enemy territory. The only light came from scented candles that gave the room a warm, comforting feel. However, Anon could easily see that the pony was far from comforted.

“You know, Pinkie, you wouldn't be so on edge if you just asked what it was I was doing.” Anon folded his hands in his lap, waiting for Pinkie to loosen up.

“But I already know what you do!”

“Oh, do you?” Anon asked teasingly, already knowing she didn’t. This got Pinkie to be a little more bold as she stood on the couch to glare at him.

“Yeah! You’re breaking the hearts of every mare in Ponyville by dating them all at once!” Pinkie asked, growing more indignant. “You’re even trying to work your hoo-man magic on me, with your smelly candles and silky robe. Neither of which are bothering me anyway!” Pinkie sat back down, crossing her hooves and turning away. Even in the low light, Anon could spot a little blush coming through her cheeks.

“Pinkie, I’m not dating anyone.” Anon clarified. “In fact, my business is to help those who feel a little...I dunno, I guess unloved?” Pinkie turned back around, an eyebrow cocked in confusion. “Here it’s a lot easier if I just show you.”

Anon reached out suddenly towards Pinkie’s ear. With his index and thumb, he pinched her ear before she had time to move her head away. Then, gently he rubbed the ear in small little circles. The effect was almost immediate. Pinkie straightened in surprise, then immediately slouched in her seat, overcome with a sudden bliss.

“W-woah, this feels nice!” Pinkie noted. “Like super nice!”

“Ears have a lot of nerve endings, thus making them sensitive.” Anon explained as he rubbed the other ear with his other hand. “Apply gentle pressure and you get the endorphins flowing.”

Anon may as well have been talking to a pillow for all it mattered to Pinkie. Her eyes were closed softly as her mind hummed in a state of euphoric joy. Pinkie lived a rather hedonistic lifestyle, but she’s never come across such a joyful feeling. Then, just like that, the pleasure was gone. Confused, Pinkie’s eyes shot open. She turned to the human, a look of genuine worry on her face.

“Wait, it’s over already?!” Pinkie whined.

“The ear rubbing portion is. Since you’re a newbie, I may as well introduce you to the sampler plan.”

“Sampler?” Pinkie parroted back to Anon. She tapped an inquisitive hoof to her chin. “Hmm, I do like samplers.”

“Good.” Anon replied. “Now, give me your hooves.”

Pinkie was taken aback. “My hooves?”

“Mhm.” Anon nodded and patiently waited for Pinkie to follow through. Pinkie slowly extended her forlegs out, presenting her front hooves. Anon took them in one hand, grabbing a cloth with the other and cleaning off the hooves one-by-one. Pinkie giggled at the sensation.

“Aww~!” Pinkie cooed teasingly. “Are you going to kiss my hoofsies?”

“Yes, actually.” Anon answered nonchalantly. Before Pinkie could utter a “Wait, what?”, Anon bent forehead slightly and planted a kiss on each hoof. The normally pink pony grew several shades of crimson upon the act.

“N-nonny, you can’t do that!” Pinkie protested. “T-that’s something only special someponies do!”

“Do you have a special somepony?” Anon asked. Pinkie hesitated to answer.

“N-no…” She finally uttered in a soft voice. It was unusual for Anon to see Pinkie so flustered, but it wouldn’t be the first time he encountered a flustered mare.

“It seems like you’re still a little confused about what I do.” Anon gingerly set Pinkies hooves down and sat up straight, his back against the cushion of the couch. “Come lay on ol’ Nonny’s lap and I’ll give ya the deets.”

Pinkie eyed Anon’s lap for a moment, still embarrassed from admitting her lack of a love life. However, she could not ignore the inviting silk robe that draped over his legs nor the remembrance of the bliss she felt when Anon rubbed her ears. Slowly she crawled over the human’s lap, her belly laying atop the smooth fabric. She nearly jumped out her skin when she felt Anon’s hand on her back. Anon let his hand rest for a moment, waiting for Pinkie to stop tensing before he continued.

“The basic idea is that I provide a sort of...intimate experience for those who either have never experienced it or sorely lack it.” Anon began. He slowly stroked Pinkie’s barrel with one hand, caressing her ear with the other. He could feel Pinkie’s weight melt into his legs as she fell back into that state of nirvana. Pinkie sighed with relief. “Not everyone has the opportunity to talk to that special someone or even go looking for them. Some are afraid to even approach other ponies, especially if they have reasons to believe they aren’t worth it. After a chance encounter with Ms. Cheerilee, I realized that is friendly as this world is, loneliness is still a thing ponies have to deal with. Um, mind flipping over?”

Pinkie moved almost instinctively, but stopped herself. With a wavy smile and more blush in her cheeks, she turned to look up at Anon.

“Um, b-but you might see my-”

“Teats?” Anon finished.

“Nonny!” Pinkie gasped. “You can’t just outright say it like that! It’s embarrassing…”

Anon couldn’t help but chuckle at the mare’s prudeness. “It’s alright. It’s a legitimate concern for some ponies but I’ve seen a lot worse. Big Mac can get pretty excited during this part of the session.”

“You service stallions, too!?” Pinkie asked.

“Yup, I try to help out all ponies, whether stallion or mare, young or old. Though I draw the line at fillies and colts. Gotta have some standards.” Anon looked down at Pinkie to see that she was still unsure about flipping over. “If you want, I could get a towel and cover them?”

“No…” Pinkie answered almost too quietly to be heard. “We’re friends, after all. I trust you.”

“Regardless, I won’t even look.”

With that assurance, Pinkie rolled over on Anon’s lap, her belly exposed. It was nice and plump, as expected of a pony that spends her days around sweets and baked goods. As she looked up, she saw Anon’s warm and comforting smile. She smiled back, her forlegs folded back to leave herself exposed. Anon gently placed his hand on her stomach and rubbed in small circles. Pinkie had to hold back her breath to catch herself from making an embarrassing sound.

“Relax, Pinkie.” Anon cooed. “We are in complete privacy. You just focus on enjoying the moment.” With that Pinkie dared to breathe again, panting heavily as she felt all the stress melt away. Never had she felt equally so vulnerable and yet so safe than she did in that moment. Anon could do a million different things to her right now, not all of them good. And yet, he was content to just stroke her belly in these lovely motions that eased her mind. Gone were the thoughts of the suspicious human, loitering outside her bakery. Gone was the idea that Anon was a heartless womanizer out for his own pleasure. No, instead the only thing on Pinkie’s mind was how long was she allowed to stay like this. She hoped forever.

“My clients ask me to do a bunch of things for them.” Anon spoke, having been talking the entire time he was petting her. “Big Mac almost exclusively asks for belly rubs, Bon Bon asks me to bake with her, even this one purple unicorn stallion, Wave something, just wants me to listen to him ramble overthrowing Celestia or something. He’s an odd one. Though I think the weirdest is Lyra who, I shit you not, likes to suckle on my fingers. Says it makes her feel like a foal again.”

Anon wasn’t much worried about patient confidentiality as he could see by the look of Pinkie’s face, what with her lolling tongue and her eyes rolled back, that her mind was in a completely other world. In one ear, and out the other.

“Some clients even have me call them special names. Things they wished other ponies would call them but are too embarrassed to ask.” Anon continued. This seemed to have snap Pinkie out of her trance, as Pinkie looked up at Anon expectantly. She tapped two hooves together, as if working up the courage to say something.

“Uh, Nonny?” She started, staring down at her hooves. “Do you think you could call me by a special name? You know, just for these sessions?”

“And what would that be?”

“Well, when I was a little filly, Granny Pie would often call me her...Sweetie Pie.” Pinkie said in a very soft voice, almost hoping Anon didn’t hear. “She gave all my sisters cute nicknames like that. It was her special connection to us. But, I haven’t heard it for such a long time. While you’re not her, I think she would make an exception.” Little did Pinkie realize, as she talked, she felt herself being more at ease talking to the human about something so personal.

“You’re Granny sounds like a wonderful lady.” Anon stated. “And I guess I have her to thank for raising such a care-free and loving mare as yourself...Sweetie Pie.” Anon slyly winked at the mare.

Pinkie’s eyes started to well up in a way she didn’t expect. Just hearing those words again...it was like opening a jar of your favorite cookies and discovering there was just one more left after you had thought it was empty. She suddenly leaped forward and wrapped her hooves around Anon’s neck, nuzzling his cheek with her own. For the first time since the session began, Anon felt flustered. He was taken aback by just how much such a small gesture meant for the mare.

“Thank you, Nonny...Thank you!” Pinkie gave her gratitude through tears and sniffles. Anon patted her back, feeling a sting in his own eyes as well.
“That’s what this business is all about.” Anon comforted the pony, patting her back.

A rope snapped somewhere in the chimney of Anon’s home, followed by the sound of a mare screaming. Her fall was broken by soot covered logs, which snapped under her weight. Anon and Pinkie clutched one another in a moment of fear, before recognizing the mare before them.

“Twilight?” Anon was the first to break the silence. Twilight, after standing up and dusting the soot off her suit and banishing the birds circling her head, faced Anonymous. When she came to completely she grew her own shade of crimson. “Why are you in a catsuit and hiding in my chimney?”

“Yeah, Twilight!” Pinkie chimed in. “Don’t you know that you shouldn’t spy on others?” Twilight glared at the mare.

“Why you-” She started, before catching herself as she had more urgent manners. “I mean, Pinkie dragged me into this and wanted me to spy on you. Then, you took her inside and I couldn’t see what you two were doing. I heard these strange noises and I got really curious so I tried to peer in and see but none of the other windows had a good angle. So I climbed onto the roof with Pinkie’s grappling hook and thought I could lower myself down the chimney and see. But I may have made a few too many runs to the hayburger and-”

As Twilight rambled on, her face became more flushed and her wings slowly extended outward. It was like she was buying herself time before she Superman’d out of the roof. Anon snapped his fingers a couple of times, stopping Twilight’s rambling and drawing her attention to him.

“Look, I’m sure there was a lot of hi-jinks involved, but I’m in a really good mood and I was just about to introduce Pinks to the cuddling part of the session. Do you wanna join or not?” Anon asked bluntly. Twilight stood in the center of the living room, one leg crossed over the other. She looked down at herself.

“But I’m dirty…” She offered a tepid excuse. Anon merely rolled his eyes.

“Just get over here, ya big nerd.” Anon chided, a grin peeking on his face.

“I’m not big...” Twilight muttered and pouted. Regardless, she trotted toward the two of them and snuggledup Anon’s other side, leaving Anon flanked on both sides by two beautiful mares. If only his mom could see him now.

“So,” Pinkie started up again, once they were all settled. “What do you call this business?”

“Well, I like to think of myself as a Cuddle Slut.” Anon answered, taking a little too much pride in such a title.

“Cuddle Slut?” Twilight repeated. “What does being messy have to do with it?”
“Not that definition, Twi.” Anon would’ve facepalmed if his hands weren’t occupied. “Uh, it would be too much to go into now. Just know that I am one.”

“So, what about payment?” Twilight asked, feeling a little bad about bringing it up so soon. “I mean, you provide such a meaningful service. It’d be a shame if you weren’t properly compensated for all the joy you bring to ponies by giving them unconditional affection.”

“Well, that’s why I’m a Cuddle Slut, Twilight.” Anon booped her nose with his own. Twi reached up and covered her snoot, attempting to hide the blush creeping on her face. “A whore does it for money, a slut does it for fun!”

“But, do feel free to put some bits in the bowl when you’re done.” Anon added with a wink.

Author's Note

Shoutouts to CategoricalGrant for awakening the beast within to get this story out.