Nonny's Fine Cuddlery

by JBukharin

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Anon, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2699

Anon is short on money. Pinkie has a brilliant idea tying up to Cuddles.

Or 'How Anon got a second job as a professional cuddler but Pinkie is also planning a romance with him.'

Anon I. Ymous has lived in Ponyville for three years now. He has seen many things, but his life is mostly a dull one. When his AC system ends up breaking and he doesn't have just the money to pay for a replacement, he allows his close friend Pinkie Pie to give him a suggestion. Much to his surprise, it's a plan that works. And he will soon learn that it works 'too well'...

Published 2021-06-29 21:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-29 21:30:00 UTC

The AC Affair

The AC Affair

Summer sucks, there was no other way for Anon to describe the current heat he was going through.

The AC, the one that he had taken so many extra shifts at Bon Bon’s to get the money needed to buy it, had broken down after just three hours of being active. The man had yet to understand how that kind of product was priced so high- spells that it was incredibly expensive but had a strong penchant for breaking down with ease; he could tell he just became the victim of a scam. He didn’t even touch it too much, just enough to get it set in the proper section of the wall and right so that the cool breeze just splashed over his napping body whenever he was resting on his couch. It was meant to be his saving grace from this unholy heat that made him question if Ponyville wasn’t actually Hell in disguise.

Considering the high frequency of dangerous events unfolding within the small town of this ‘peaceful’ land? He wouldn’t be surprised that there was some loose connection between the two settings. Still, the pondering wasn’t meant to question this kind of theories- no, Anon needed a solution to his current problem. Fixing the AC sounded like… a mistake. The entire device was definitely a scam that had burned through his wallet, and he definitely wasn’t going to take on Lyra for a few more days. She meant well, she was generally normal around Bon Bon, but he could tell she had some screws loose. So, despite his good will to manage through those hours without causing any trouble to his kind boss, he knew that he needed to do something else – more – about his current life situation. It’s been three years now, and he had been feeling ‘stuck’ from Year 2. He wasn’t aimless or anything, but he felt like he had been skipping something important- something worthwhile. He knew he was missing something within his life which could definitely set him off for good rather than limit his potentiality. He was a human and his race was meant to stand out as one capable of its high capacity to adapt to the environment around himself.

The long round of thinking did little to provide Anon with an immediate solution and he knew he was risking his health by staying in his own living room. The heat was just turning the entire house in an oven, and he didn’t want to cook up because he couldn’t come up with some brilliant idea at once. Sighing, he bailed from that mini-hell with the greatest form of self-disappointment plastered over his face. Differently from his gloomy situation, the rest of the town was mostly fine. There was the rare but nice gust of wind that softly refreshed those that happily strolled around the small roads of Ponyville. There wasn’t much for him to do but try to enjoy this brief reprieve from his home and… hopefully today there was going to be a few minutes of cloud to see the place cooling down just enough for him to get back inside and open the bridge.

Maybe I could ask someone? Surely they would offer some good insight on this.

The newly-crowned purple pony with an obsessive love for books was out of town due to ‘princessly’ reasons. Same for Starlight and Spike. Rarity was supposedly handling a large list of customers that she had to satisfy with new refined clothes by the end of the week, while a certain swift Pegasus had decided to ‘take upon herself the duty of guarding clouds’ back to Cloudsdale. The cloud-based city was literally one of the few settlements in the entire continent that was spared from the atrocious temperature tied up to Summertime. Fluttershy? She was definitely not going to check away from the cooling shades of the trees near her house.

As Anon felt the list of helpful candidates dwindling due to a reason or another, he ended up sitting down by one of the available benches. Without paying much attention to where he was walking, he arrived at the local park and right underneath several tree branches. As if he was blessed by some cold entity that just took pity of his pathetic mood, he rejoiced in peace at that pleasant breeze and-

“Nonny!”

He jumped a bit, the action straightening his posture as he got just enough time to intercept a pink-themed missile rushing up for him. Pinkie Pie was… out of Sugarcube Corner way earlier than he knew she should have been. It took the man just a moment to remember the girl had shorter shifts during summertime since the place was meant to take a small break during the month of July. It was a family-related decision so that the Cakes could enjoy some holidays with their kids. Pinkie was the most active during that month, planning out most of the birthdays, taking the chance to set up anniversaries for those ponies that forgot about the big days and… yep, she wasn’t exactly letting that minor setback put her down.

Which is actually ironic since I’m allowing the AC of all things to leave me this depressed.

“Pinks, I see you’re as jovial as usual,” He still greeted happily, trying to really cover his current mood from the bubbly gal.

“Yep and I suppose you came out of your house to enjoy a lovely stroll in the park… right?” The mare hummed while sitting beside him, giving him just enough space to not make the entire situation awkward. Anon… respected Pinky. That was the least he could say about the friendly girl that had helped him out to find his current job. The Element of Laughter was incredibly caring when it came to people that she could relate to. While there wasn’t exactly a direct connection between the two, there were the ‘starting steps’ which made both so similar to anyone that knew the true story behind the Party Pony’s arrival in Ponyville. She had a rough time finding a place to stay here and it was all through kindness and patience that she managed to be in that happy condition of her life.

Anon? He started a bit rougher as he wasn’t a pony. While racism wasn’t a thing, silly presumptions of him being a monster from the Everfree Forest made it so difficult to settle down. Of all the Elements, Pinks had been there for him the most. She didn’t mind that he was a bipedal hairless monkey with a rather cynical view on life- for her, Anon was ‘Nonny’ and no matter how many tried to highlight how different the two were, she stuck to him as if she had been superglued to his daily life.

And Anon didn’t mind that predicament a single bit. Pinks was a close friend and a trustworthy prankster ally. If either needed support, they could expect the other to provide it as much as they could. Right now… Anon wasn’t sure that it would have been nice to ask Pinkie for help. Not because he didn’t want to be a burden, but because he really didn’t want to trouble her with his current mood.

Despite his best efforts, he didn’t take into account something he should have. Pinkie wasn’t exactly a simple Earth Pony. Her body had something that she commonly called the ‘Pinkie Sense’ and… it definitely helped her noticing details she was missing about a specific situation. In this case, her tail started to twitch up and down, and it seemed to give her a clear understanding of something about him from the way the mare started to look at him. Pinky actually frowned, her blue eyes sporting a familiar and quite saddening degree of worry that she was already aiming at him.

“Are you sure everything is alright, Nonny?”

His lips twitched, the throat ached and… he decided to come out clean about this.

“I’ve been having some issues at home,” The man admitted, looking down at the dirt making up the road. “The AC broke down a while ago, the house is going to be a health hazard for anyone wanting to get inside it until it gets dark enough and cools down for a while and… I’ve been thinking about getting a new job.”

The last element caught the Earth Pony off-guard. Pinkie’s eyes widened in surprise, a gasp left her lips, as she took a moment to gauge the situation and offer her own opinion about this subject.

“You mean a second job? I thought you were alright with Bon Bon and- wouldn’t that stress you too much?”

“I don’t need a full job. I’m fine with Bon Bon but I… I need something more,” Anon elaborated, trying to find the right words to push his point across. “Even a small part-time one would do. Anything that gives me a higher income that doesn’t force me to go through so many extra shifts.”

The cheerful mare nodded slowly, adopting a pondering look as she put a serious thought about this. During that wait, Anon’s gaze was awfully mesmerized by that sight as this was the first time in a long while that he saw Pinkie appearing so serious. The girl was generally all fun and playing, so this was a reminder for him and anyone that ended up seeing that scene that Pinkie was more than a party pony. She was also a serious gal when she needed to help a friend in need, which gave even more reasons to keep someone like her really close.

“How about you do something with your hands?” Pinkie finally asked, glancing at him with a curious look as it really felt like something he should have thought about and.. he did.

While the idea was incredibly vague, Anon couldn’t help but admit it put things in an interesting route. He never got the chance to exactly explore what kind of jobs he could do due to his swift digits, thinking first about finding a stable job at Bon Bon’s. But even after getting that, he forgot to actually take a few hours of his free time to do something about it rather than just let things remain like that. It was a bit embarrassing to be reminded of this like that, but he had to admit that there was some real merit in that idea.

“How exactly?”

“How about that thing you do to me when we cuddle up? The one with the ears and the belly?”

That? But wasn’t it too… well, ‘private’ to do in public and with those that aren’t friends already?

“But you said-”

“That was when I didn’t know if you knew how to control it but… you are good enough to not get too creepy about it. Which is good! And why you should definitely try to set up a small business on that.”

Before he could have rebuffed that entire notion, the smiling pony aimed her right hoof at some… pony. “There! Your first client.”

Looking at who she was aiming at, Anon couldn’t help but feel dread. Applejack hardly looked awake as she slowly enjoyed a calm walk through the park. It was rare to find her away from Sweet Apple Acres, especially when summer meant more ponies needed apple juice or apples in general to deal with the heat with cool and sweet desserts. She didn’t seem to have noticed them and… Pinkie took care of this by rushing up at her and getting her to walk closer to the bench. Anon felt his dread double as he knew that if the girl didn’t like this idea, he was going to get a close up encounter with her sturdy kicks. And he really didn’t want to check the hospital anytime soon due to his lack of insurance. Quite difficult to find one that covers ‘bipedal entities from another dimensional plane of existence’.

“I swear this isn’t a prank. I just want to prove a point to Nonny that he could make this a part-time job if he wants to.”

The blonde mare didn’t seem completely sold on the idea. “You sure? Ah’m not against some naps now but… this is no trick?”

“No tricks,” The party pony assured and… the fellow mare stared up at Anon and his awkward expression.

Applejack wasn’t exactly sure this was a good idea from the way she stared at both Pinkie and Anon. She knew both were driven by good faith, but they were generally regarded as a destructive combo when left unleashed for too long. Right now, in a moment that was mostly driven by tiredness, the hardworking Earth Pony sighed in defeat and allowed the human to do what he considered ‘gooder cuddles’ as Pinkie put it. The blonde-maned mare had just a moment to tense up before… she felt her entire body go lighter. It wasn’t sudden but she felt the change happen at high speed. Like resting on a cloud and… having another one press softly down onto the opposite side. She was in a tight but pleasant bed of softness that just robbed her mind of a clear perspective on reality itself. A sigh, a shiver, she smiled contently as she felt all the aching of the last days of intense work seemed to really vanish from her body and… it was all gone moments later. Disappointment flared at this but, much to her surprise, she actually felt the stress had really vanished from her body.

“T-That was incredible.”

“Right? I told Nonny he could do it.”

“Anon, why didn’t ya do this before now? That was… amazing.”

“Oh, that’s because he would do it only with me- ‘cause we’re super close!”

For some mysterious reason, Anon felt the need to frown at the weird look forming on Applejack’s face in reaction to Pinkie’s words. But the Earth pony didn’t press on this matter, rather shifting her attention back on the cuddling situation.

“How much? That’s not for free and I will know if ye’r lying on the price, Pinkie.”

“One Bit.”

…

“Really?” AJ asked with a hint of skepticism. To be fair, even Anon could tell that was literally nothing but… there was no way he was asking for more now that Pinkie had offered such a low price.

The pink mare nodded and the hardworking mare gave a skeptical look at Anon about it. Despite that, she still reached for her satchel and retrieved the single coin out. After dropping the single piece of Bit on Anon’s lap, Applejack left to get back to the farm… leaving a perplexed Anon to stare at the coin while Pinkie giggled at his reaction. Soon the human recovered and he tried to make a case to stop this from evolving any further. Something about this just felt… really uneasy. He wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t feel completely sure this was going to work as easily as Pinkie was making it seem.

“Pinkie-”

“That’s what you can actually do now, Nonny!” The mare exclaimed, interrupting the human on his efforts to dissuade the girl from this plan. “There are so many stallions and mares that would really like to have someone to help them with the stress. Nothing too invasive and it’s actually refreshing.”

“But… wait, I thought that it wouldn’t that not work because there is already a spar in Ponyville?”

Pinkie giggled at that rebuttal. “Nonny, but you are forgetting one thing that makes you slightly better than that.”

He frowned, thinking about what he might be missing about it, but Pinkie beat him to that.

“You have hands!”

…

Of course. How could I have forgotten about that? He thought sarcastically, but still gave some serious attention to Pinkie’s encouragement. She wasn’t wrong about it from the way it worked on AJ so… why not give it a shot?

Just this once.

Author's Note

AN

The other story is still ongoing, but I wanted to try my hand at something ‘shorter and fluffier’. Less politicking, more endless cuddling!